*BEEB..!-BEEP..! BEEP..!*

"(Muffled) Is it working- We recording?"

"(Muffled) Yeah- yeah. The light's blink- shit! Forgot the lens cap"

"(Muffled) Well take it off-"

"(Muffled) Hang on, I got it"

*RUSTLE-RUSTLE- CLICK!*

The footage comes to life, flooding with light before showing a blonde woman smiling into the camera, sitting on a bed with a teddy bear in her hands. With an unseen guy holding the camera up for her.

"(Off-Screen) Ok, you're good-"

"(Nods/Smiles) Hey baaabe~! It's Jamie and I just wanted to let you know, that this probably this one of the many-many video messages you'll be getting from me, while you're away on your trip aaand... I don't know- I just figured this was a really good way for you to see my gorgeous face, whenever you want. I know you've only been gone a day, but I couldn't wait to tell you how much I love you and how amazing our last night together was-"

"(Snickers/Off-Screen) Laying it on a little thick, Bridget Jones?"

"Wh- Shut up! (Laughs/Sighs)... I don't know- I-I just miss you SO much, plus I got your voicemail and it was really good to hear your voice... Actually it was wierd, 'Cause I was just talking to Marlena and my camera man-"

"(Off-Screen) Uh- you're 'camera man' has a name, Jamie. It's-"

"You're wasting the memory, c'mon!"

"(Off-Screen) Oh damnit- s-sorry"

"Anyways... She SUCKS at talking about stuff like this, she was SO negative saying 'The best way to get over someone, is to get over someone else' but you know I'm not that type of girl, so don't worry about thaaat~ (Wink). Can't wait to talk to you tomorrow and... (Sigh) I-I miss you, like the sky misses the flowers or was it the stars with the sky..? Whatever- I love you, oh! Don't show anyone these videos- I swear to god, if this ends up on the internet I would kill you (Smooches)"

"(Off-Screen) Aaand cut! Great- Should we do another take? Have you wield a knife for that last shot? To REALLY emphasise the 'Psycho Girlfriend' trope"

"(Smirks) Ha-ha! You're SO funny, 'Camera Man'"

"(Off-Screen) Oh so THAT'S set in stone? How sweet~"

"Yes I am. By the way 'Camera Man'... (Snickers/Points) You forgot to stop recording (Laughs)"

"(Off-Screen) Huh?! Aw fu-"

*BEEP!*

The footage freezes on an upturned shot of 'Camera Man's face...