THE SHE-WOLF AND THE RAVEN

Chapter 7: Shift

"Animals were on earth first. From the union of some of these with a star which fell from heaven came the first people."

oooooo

She pretended she didn't care as she watched the green-caped figure disappearing into the tangled branches of the firs. She had mastered the art of pretending she didn't care and using her pain as a weapon to strike at those around her -- as efficiently as if she were using her claws.

She determined not to let his words or departure ruffle her in any way. She inhaled deeply and closed her eyes, enjoying the scents of the forest through her human body. She opened her eyes and her hands smoothed down the lines of the dress she wore. A tight corset-top bodice tied around her waist and allowed a thick, lighter pink material to flow down to her ankles. How had he made it appear like that? It defied any logical explanation. She added that to her list of Imprint Surprises.

Of course. He'd not only magically clothe her, but it'd be in a dress. A pink dress. She hated pink…almost as much as she hated dresses. It was like he could read her mind and was intentionally saying and doing what would irritate her the most.

The pups pressed themselves around her, nosing her hands and shoulders with their wet noses and investigating her strange scent. The eldest pair towered over her, though the youngest three barely met her waist. She could read the questions in their eyes even without their mental link. She sighed. She didn't know how to explain all that had just happened to herself, let alone to them. She'd need to, but she had something else she needed to do first.

"Sarah, I need to travel to the nearest town. I do not want to shift forms again. Will you take me on your back?" she asked the lean, grey wolf. Sarah whined slightly and lay down on the ground in front of Leah.

"Thanks, sweet one," Leah said as she stroked her daughter behind her ears. She turned to her son and closely looked at where the bullet had grazed. The wound had already healed, as she expected, though his ivory fur was still stained pink from the trail of blood. She took his head into her hands and kissed his nose.

"It will be OK, Isaac. Don't worry. I will explain everything when I get back. You look after the pups and we'll return as soon as we can," Leah said. Her son panted slightly and cocked his head to one side. He licked the side of his mother's face before he turned to corral the three little ones back towards the river. They whined and protested, but obeyed when they saw their mother's expression.

"Let's go," Leah said and climbed upon the grey wolf's back. She awkwardly situated her dress to allow her to sit comfortably and then they shot through the forest in a blur.

ooooooo

The nearest town (or more correctly, the nearest location where a collection of people dwelt) sat in the shadow of a mountain and on the banks of the confluence of two broad rivers. A handful of mostly log buildings lay scattered in the small clearing, absent of the ever-encroaching forest. Leah disembarked and left Sarah safely hidden from human eyes in covering of the forest.

Unfortunately, Leah was on the opposite side of the river as the town. Leah took a deep breath and plunged into the cold, grey waters of the river. She did not emerge until she reached the forest on the other side.

She made her way to a dirt road which led to where most of the buildings were concentrated. A sign on one building showed that the Nahanni Butte General Store also served as motel and coffee shop for the little community. She entered the shop, relieved to find it open, and greeted the gray-haired Dene man who came to meet her, broom in hand.

"Hey! I need a phone," she said as she looked around the small shop.

The man gave her a curious look. "How did you arrive here?" he asked.

"Through the forest," she answered.

"The forest?" he said, doubtfully. "The only outsiders we get here during the summer come by boat or plane."

"Yeah, well, I've been out hiking in the National Park and I need to get ahold of someone," she said in what she hoped sounded more confident than defensive. She cursed under her breath as she looked down on her outfit again. Why would someone be hiking through the forest in a pink dress? While preferable to arriving in the small community naked, arriving out of nowhere in a soaking wet dress and without any travel gear was hardly the way to stay inconspicuous. By the looks of it, this town was so small, any visitor would stand out like a sore thumb. With no way to avoid drawing attention to herself, she simply gave the man an intense glare until he pointed to a phone on the counter with a shrug and returned to sweeping the floor.

She searched her memory for the correct numbers for a collect call from Canada and gave the operator the number for her mom's house. When that failed, she tried Charlie's. When that failed, she tried the one last landline she knew off-head. This time, the call went through.

"Hello?" came a woman's voice through the line.

"Hi. Mrs. Uley? This is Leah Clearwater."

"Leah! Leah! You are alive! Oh my word! We thought you were dead! Leah, where are you?"

"Ummm, in a small town in Northwest Territories called Nahanni Butte. I haven't been able to phase till now so I couldn't call. Can you tell my brother and my mom that I'm OK?"

An awkward silence fell over the line for a moment before Mrs. Uley cleared her throat. "Leah, come home."

"Is everything OK?" Leah asked.

"Leah, I don't want to get into it all over the phone. However, you need to come home," Mrs. Uley said.

Leah disliked the tone she heard in Mrs. Uley's voice almost as much as she disliked not knowing what was going on. She swallowed deeply and nodded to herself. "I'll do my best," she promised.

"Good. We miss you. Seth will be beside himself with joy knowing you are OK."

"Thanks."

Mrs. Uley hung up shortly thereafter leaving Leah staring awkwardly at the dial tone emanating from the receiver. The shopkeeper, while keeping his head down and pretending to ignore her, gave her another curious sideways glance from across the small general store.

"Thanks!" Leah said and she began to walk out the door.

"My pleasure," the man answered before he stopped her departure. "Are, uh, you OK? Do you need to hire a river taxi to take you down to Blackstone?"

"No. I'm good. Thanks though!" she said and she quickly left before the man could ask her anymore well-meaning questions. She could feel his eyes watching her disappear back down the dirt road and into the forest to the west of the town.

ooooooo

She carefully folded the awful dress into a neat bundle before tying it to a nearby tree for safe-keeping. She still preferred the dress to running naked through the forest, so she meant to hold onto it, just in case. With a long lunge, she phased back into her wolf form and was immediately surrounded by three small, very anxious pups.

Mama! Mama! Mama! They chanted in their minds, each fighting to wiggle a little closer to her and cover her in their sweet, wolfy kisses.

Babies! She thought back and she licked them each and let them nestle into her side and lay there in contented, tumbling heaps of fur and tongues. Between the hunters and all they had seen occur between their father and her, it was little wonder they were so upset and in need of comfort. They were not the only ones. The elder pups approached her after the younger had settled down. They came with an arsenal of questions.

What happened? Why did Dad leave? Why was he so angry? Why did he try to hurt you? Did you know he could change like you? Why didn't you know he could shift? Why can't he hear us? Why did he speak to you as he did? Is he coming back?

They asked questions so fast she couldn't hope to answer one before another bubbled over.

The pups, while bonded in a different way to their father than through imprinting, loved him with all the fierce loyalty and devotion of a wolf pack. Wolves were made to be together and the loss of one deeply impacted all the rest. That thought made her cringe internally. Had she left a similar dent in the packs she had left behind in LaPush? Had they felt her absence as strongly?

To help answer her pups' questions, she ran through all she knew in her head, everything she thought they needed to know. They didn't understand all and she didn't know how to explain it. She could understand her mate's anger in ways her pups couldn't. It was one of the few things about him that she understood. Imprinting was not easy to come to accept. She could tell he was fighting his own battles, wherever he had gone, just as she was where she lay with the pups.

She refused to go after him. Let him suffer, she thought to herself. It wasn't the first time she'd dealt with rejection from someone she loved and trusted. She knew the drill. Life went on and so did she and a broken heart was the least of her worries. She had five pups to care for and look after…five very confused, sad pups with their own broken hearts. That would be the worst part if he refused to return - dealing with their sense of loss and feeling their hurt within her bones. The pain of her pups would break her heart a thousand times more than being rejected herself.

She lay her wolf head between her paws and gave a soft whine. The thought of her mate made her heart ache and she felt a similar sense of grief ripple through the minds of her children. The egotistical, arrogant bastard was still part of their family-and an important part - no matter how far away he ran or how hard he fought to escape. As proud and as angry as she was, she still wondered how long she could force herself to go on without him. As much as she hated to admit it, she needed him as much as she needed air and she could already feel his distance from her like a fish hook in her heart tugging her in his direction.

She'd always known he was complex. She'd felt his moods roil and broil and turn like a pot of ice on a stove left to boil. Now that she knew there was a person buried beneath the fur coat, it gave her an entirely different picture of her mate. He was not merely a wolf and that explained both his multifarious emotions and how she could imprint on him. He was more like her than she'd ever realized and she still didn't know how she felt about it.

What did the white wolf (did he even have a name?) mean by "magic" and her offspring being "magical"? In the heat of their argument, she hadn't had the chance to ask, but now she was fighting back her curiosity. Could they really turn into humans? If it was possible for them to phase, what would that mean for their futures?

It was a lot to consider. In a drastic departure from the simplicity of her life the past few years, she now felt inundated with complexities.

Her conversation with Mrs. Uley also left her with a lot to think about. What was so important that she needed to come home for? Why had Mrs. Uley mentioned Seth but not her mom? Her anxiety felt like gravel in her stomach as she considered the worst case scenarios.

She felt Sarah's nose push into her neck and Leah met her daughter's strong gaze.

It'll be ok, Mama. He'll come back. Then we can go check on grandma. As long as we are together, it'll all be OK, the wolf girl whispered to her mother, meaning it with all her heart. Leah gave her a warm, affectionate smile and nodded.

You are right, sweet one. You are right.

ooooo

It was the man, not the wolf, who returned to the pack three days after leaving. The six wolves watched him approach until he came within a few yards and then he was pummeled by the warm welcome of smallest pups. Leah gave him a cautious distance and stayed in the shadows, warily testing his emotional climate to decide how best to approach him.

"Good morning, pups," he said in his polished voice. He broke into a smile as the combined weight of five pups (two full grown) knocked him into the soft fallen leaves on the ground and covered him with their tongues. "Enough, enough," he said with a laugh as he struggled to right himself again. "I wish to speak with your mother."

The grey wolf cocked her head to one side and immediately the five pups vanished into the woods, though the smallest gave a woeful look behind them as they went. She skirted around the edge of the clearing and disappeared behind a tree. She returned, not as a wolf but as a woman, wearing the dress he had given her.

He watched her through cool, turquoise eyes and his pale face remained as expressionless as if carved of stone. Beneath, she could feel his currents of relief and anger, peace and wariness all stirring him into a hopelessly contradictory mess of emotions. She knew her own heart was just as tumultuous and she wondered how much he could feel of her. The thought that he could feel her emotions as she did his left her feeling more naked than she had been before he made that dress appear.

"You came back," she said in a voice more full of questions than accusations.

"Yes."

"You were here last night," she said quietly. "I could tell."

She had laughed a bit to herself when she felt him return. He floated around the perimeter of their camp, sighing in relief to himself to be in their proximity, but stubbornly refusing to join them. She let him be, relieved herself to know he was near.

He grimaced but failed to answer. Instead, he sat on a tree stump and watched her as she fiddled with her short, uneven hair. He was curious and resigned now, no longer boiling over in barely surpressed anger as he had been the last time they spoke. She inhaled deeply in an attempt to quiet her own heart and prepare for whatever his current mood would throw at her.

"What is your name, woman?" he asked.

"Leah Clearwater," she answered carefully. "And you?"

"You may call me Fenris Friggson."

She nodded and crossed her arms over herself as she leaned back against the tree trunk. Her mate smoothed out the edge of his green cape and began to break a stick in half in his hands.

"Aren't you cold?" he asked. In the coolness of dawn, their breath formed clouds of vapor. It would warm as the summer sun came over the mountains, but it was hardly above freezing.

"No. My body runs at a hotter than normal temperature. I don't really get cold. You?" she said, feeling the full awkwardness of his attempt at nonchalance.

He smirked. "My body runs at a colder than normal temperature. I don't feel cold easily."

She reached out one finger to tentatively feel his hand. He was right. He wasn't quite as inhumanly cold as the Cold Ones, but his skin was cooler than most humans.

"Another way you are different," she said with a shrug. "I've never met a wolf who was not related to my people."

"There are more of you?" he asked.

"Yes. It is passed on through our bloodline, though some generations have more than others."

"It has been long since I came across another form-changer in this realm. Where do you come from, Leah Clearwater?" he asked.

"Northern Washington. Yeah, we are kinda special."

"So I gathered. You are young. Have you made five and twenty yet?" he asked.

"I'm thirty-eight," she answered, "but age is kinda relative for me. As long as I keep phasing - that's what we call turning into a wolf - I won't age. Most of my kind, when they meet their mates, they stop phasing so they age with their mate. I don't know how long our kind can live if we never stop phasing."

"Interesting," he said. The slight quirk of his eyebrow was his only visible reaction.

"How old are you?" she asked.

"Older than you," he answered shortly. "Tell me, Lady Leah, what brings you to dwell in these isolated lands in the form of a wolf instead of as a Midgardian…human…when you can exchange forms at will?"

"I needed some time on my own," she said with a shrug. "I guess you can say I needed a break from my life and came here to find it. What about you?"

"Our tales are not so dissimilar, it would seem," he answered. She waited for him to continue, but he never did. She sank down to the ground with her legs stretched out in front of her and leaned her head back against the tree.

"Where are you from?" she asked. She could feel him mulling with a complex cocktail of emotions as he sorted out how to answer her. It was the poignant sadness that rose to the surface, though an edge of bitterness and anger tinged the emotion with a sour aftertaste.

"I come from many places so there is not a simplistic answer to that question. It is enough to say I come from some other place, far from here, however I cannot return there and so it is of no matter anymore. I am exiled in these lands and lack both means to leave and other lands to welcome me into. My kinfolk believe I am dead and, in their eyes, I am dead. I have little wish to speak more of my past. My known presence among the peoples of these lands would not be welcomed so I prefer to take the form of an animal to hide my presence and provide for my needs more conveniently," he said. By his tone, she knew he would not be giving her anymore details. She only nodded and gave him a forced smile.

"So you are staying?" she asked in her most indifferent tone.

"For now," he answered. "Though I make no pledges for the future."

She waited to see if he would continue - perhaps apologize for his behavior during their last meeting or explain why he had changed his mind. He did not respond so she gave up waiting.

"K. Just so you know, you will need to explain to the pups why you held a knife to my throat. Isaac and Sarah were really upset. I tried to calm them down the best I could, but it would help if you told them why you did it - and promise them you won't do it again," she said.

He quickly met her eyes at that and dropped the stick he had been holding onto the ground. "Isaac and Sarah?" he asked.

"Yeah, oh, I guess you wouldn't know. I kinda named them, you know, so I could keep them straight when I'm talking to them."

"You can communicate with them? How?" he asked, no longer attempting to mask his surprise.

"Yes. In wolf form, I can hear their thoughts and speak to them through mine. It's a wolf thing we all have. I taught them how to understand human language at the same time I taught them to hunt."

"You can…remarkable," he said. "I wonder...Will they shift forms? They must - if this is your natal form, how could they not?"

"Do you think they could? I assumed they were only wolves…but that was back when I thought you were only a wolf."

"I will need to consider this further," he said after a few moments of silence. "However, I will speak to the young ones, as you have asked. Tell me, what names have you given the most recent additions to the pack?'

"Oh," she said. "Yeah, the little brown girl I named Tcâli. The grey boy I named Kwoli and the black boy I named Báyak."

"You named a wolf pup after a raven?" Fenris asked, amusement emanating from both his face and his emotions.

"You understand Quileute?" she asked, surprised.

"I understand all languages."

She opened and closed her mouth and decided to silently add that to the ever-lengthening list of Imprint Surprises. She was beginning to think she had only scratched the surface. She shook her head and returned to the subject-at-hand.

"Yeah. Well, he's black like a raven and he's always been so mischievous. In our legends, Raven is the trickster who is always causing problems and fixing problems. Also, well, it was a raven that first led me to you so it seemed fitting," she said. She wished she hadn't admitted to the last part as soon as she'd said it. She had looked fondly upon that memory back when she thought they were all wolves and her relationship with her mate had been much less complicated. It sounded awkward to her now, but it was too late to withdraw it.

"It is fitting," Fenris said with a half-smile on his thin lips. "The pup should be named after such a handsome, charming raven. You enjoyed the raven's company for quite a few weeks, if I remember properly."

"How would you know that...unless…Were you following me? I would have noticed your scent…," Leah answered, her confusion plain on her face as she stumbled over her thoughts.

"Oh, I assure you, you did. You knew my presence the whole time."

Leah blinked rapidly as Fenris' body was engulfed in a transparent curtain of green light. In a moment, instead of a man, a raven sat upon the stump before her and let out a caw. She jumped and her mouth fell open. The raven opened his wings and fluttered to land upon her shoulder. Then it gave her a harsh peck on the head.

"Ouch!" she said and she pushed the bird off her shoulder. The bird gave another loud caw and softly beat his wings to land on the ground.

"You...You…You can turn into animals other than wolves! It was you the whole time! You were following me!" she said as the realization dawned on her and her ire faded into fascination. She cautiously approached the bird and reached out with her hand. The bird remained still and her fingers felt soft feathers beneath.

She could still feel him- his presence, his emotions, his spirit - even though it lacked the strength and poignant clarity it had projected before. In another instant, the man reappeared. The smug look on his face was enough to make her drop her open fascination and replace it with feigned aloofness. She withdrew her hand and backed up a few steps from where he stood.

"Of course I can change to other shapes. As can you," he said.

"I cannot," she answered.

"Have you ever tried?"

"No."

"You have a well of untapped magic as deep as the roots of these great mountains. It should be no difficult matter to learn to wield your gift."

Never in a thousand years had she considered shifting into anything other than a wolf or a woman. The possibility made her positively giddy. The more she learned of her mate, the more her questions grew like moss in the forests around LaPush.

She drew closer to him again and placed one hand upon his forearm. "Teach me," she said.

oooo

Author's notes:

It's a bit hard to find language information on a language with only one fluent speaker left (with a school working hard to change that). However, what I did find is fascinating. Anyhow, Tcâli means Darling and Kwoli means wolf.

The First People myth comes from the same source as the previous chapter's myth.

Fenris: While I try to avoid cliche references in writing as much as I can, I couldn't resist Loki calling himself Fenris. It was much too apt for this tale to avoid it. (In mythology, Fenris (or Fenrir) is the name of Loki's wolf child.)