THE SHE-WOLF AND THE RAVEN

Chapter 19: Battle Rings

"The chief said to his daughter: 'Come, we are going home. I have come to fetch you,' he said to his daughter. Then the star said: "you are not going to take my wife! I am also a chief here," said the star. Then the chief who lived below challenged him to fight. Then the chief who dwelt above accepted it. Then the chief from the earth killed the chief who dwelt in the sky. Then he took his daughter to the place where his camp was. Then, finally, they began to fight the sky people. …Thus it happened that the people of the earth killed the human beings in the sky. Then the warriors came down. The warriors were half way down when the arrow road broke, but the majority reached below. The rest are still hanging up there. And that is why we see the stars now. So much for that. It is ended."

The Star Husbands

Oooo

"I am going to kill him," Leah grumbled as Fenris failed to rematerialize. She endured the praise and congratulations of Aesir after Aesir, still unsure as to what exactly she had accomplished, until she wished she could bury herself in the ground instead of endure anymore. Each well-wisher approached, asked to see the dagger, and praised her for her skill and fortitude before wishing her prosperity and longevity in her House.

After what felt like hours, the crowds thinned, and Leah could barely restrain her desire to go and hide away for a time. Thor and Sif were the last to approach her, and they gave her the same sentiments as the others, though Thor's was filled with genuine warmth and humor which gave the previously stale phrases more life.

Sif's adresses were more restrained and formal and laced with a hint of irritation.

"Only Loki...," Sif muttered, more to Thor than to Leah. Sif shook her head and gave an exasperated throw of her shoulders. "Only Loki could manage to follow all the formal protocol of establishing a House while simultaneously upending all social conventions and scandalizing every Aesir in the most polite way possible."

Thor laughed and clapped her shoulder. "It was a sacred battle ring that will be remembered by all for a millennium-I daresay as memorable as yours. For the first House established in New Asgard, it was admirably handled."

Sif groaned. "Says the king who will run away and hide and leave the queen to deal with all the outraged council members and scandalized aristocrats."

"Leave? Where will the king be going?" Thor asked in genuine ignorance.

"With Asgard's newest House, of course. The patriarch has requested your presence on a quest to the homeland of his lady," Sif answered with an arched eyebrow and a nod towards Leah. Thor's answering grin was brilliant and he scooped Leah up in such a tight embrace, she feared her ribs would crack. She let out an "oomph" and Sif smacked Thor across the head.

"It will be an honor to be welcomed to the land and lineage of my new Midgardian kin."

"Don't break your new sister. That will hardly gain favor."

"Forgive me, sister, I am too full of joy in this glad day to restrain myself. I have not injured you?" he asked apologetically as he put her down and scanned her for injuries.

"I'm fine...but I am really confused. Can you please explain what this whole battle was about?"

"Loki didn't explain it?" Sif asked.

"Not really."

"Of course he didn't," Sif said with an exasperated sigh. "Typical. You and the one you call Fenris have established a formal union where he is declared the patriarch of a new family line, you are recognized as the mother of the children born into or adopted into the House. You are granted a warrior's status and prestige of equal level to your champion. You are given legal rights over his property and full decision-making power over his affairs. Now none in Asgard will dare to speak or act against you without earning the retribution of the head of your House."

"That sounds a bit like a wedding," Leah grumbled.

"Oh no, it is much more important than a mere wedding," Thor added with a warm grin. "If he wished to elevate you from consort to wife, he need only dress you and your children in the symbols and colors of his House and grant you the right to carry his ceremonial dagger. None would dare cross you or question your status. Instead he set you as matriarch of his line and established a new House where you have all the primary rights of first wife."

"I don't understand, " Leah responded in frustration.

"In Asgardian tradition, a marriage is a temporary agreement that lasts only five hundred years or so and is established for the bearing of children to a family line. You would be granted temporary rights and status during the duration of the union," Sif explained. "This ceremony you partook in today installs you in a permanent position and elevates your status in the eyes of the Aesir to be Loki's equal and with similar authority and respect as is due him.

"This is part of what has caused such a stir among the Aesir. Never before has a Midgardian been presented as the matriarch of a House is Asgard. Odin would have been furious."

"Great. Another reason for the Aesir to hate me."

"On the contrary," Thor said. "The Aesir must be impressed by your skill and valor."

"Isn't it a public humiliation to beat me in battle?"

Sif shook her head. "It is our tradition for a woman to call forth her chosen warriors in the battle ring. The victor proves his worthiness by defeating the maid. If she is the victor it shows either the man is weak or the woman does not wish to carry his dagger or surrender to his sword and no House is established.

"It may sound strange to you, but if you wish to follow Midgardian traditions, you must do so before a Midgardian audience. Here you are surrounded by Aesir and you must follow our traditions."

"You fought admirably," Thor added, "though your skills with a blade could use more instruction."

"I've never held a sword in my life," Leah said.

"That was quite obvious. Yet another jest from Loki," Sif grumbled. "While sword play is the traditional opening for the battle ring, sending a Midgardian with no skill with a blade to open the battle was a blatant mockery and made all present question his intent."

"Until you showed your true valor as a fearsome beast," Thor chimed in. "Then you proved yourself his equal on the battlefield and none could question your worth as shield-maiden and warrior."

"But no Aesir has ever dared attempt to shift forms during a battle ring ceremony or used such battle tactics as Loki used today," Sif continued. "Loki openly displayed not only your ability to shift forms but his. While there is little doubt all Asgard has heard tales of his 'unusual' skill, it has never been openly confirmed or acknowledged. Yet another way he stirred up scandal."

"I'm guessing unicorns aren't standard procedure," Leah remarked.

"Not in that way. Typically, the contestants use the traditional weapons of each family line to show their mastery and prowess. Instead, you both battled in the physical forms of the animal symbols of each family line-something that has never been done before," Sif said. "I am assuming that your family line is symbolized by a wolf for that is the first round to follow swords. The line of Odin uses eagles and the line of Frigga the unicorn-though incorporating the mother's line was another unusual addition.

"Then Loki not only declared his withdrawal from the line of succession, his rejection of both the line of Odin and title as prince, he still claimed the line of Frigga and so his status as brother to the king, while not by blood. As if that was not enough, he then publicly revealed himself in Jotun skin. That alone was enough to guarantee half of the Aesir will be clamoring for his head by nightfall. Aesir will be outraged and entirely befuddled for at least a millennium by this."

"I didn't know," Leah said, a niggling unease falling on her.

"Of course you didn't, but Loki did. he never does anything by accident. He immaculately planned and performed it all in order to shock us all and make sure none would forget it," Sif said.

"Do not be troubled, Lady Leah," Thor interjected. "You gained the respect and fear of all Asgard this day. Loki has bestowed on you a great honor and it will bode well for you and your children."

"It is true," Sif agreed. "He just did it in the most insufferably Loki way as possible and has upset all the sticklers to old traditions. The All-Father will be turning red with fury from Valhalla, just as Loki intended."

"Though we must now address him as Fenris," Thor added.

Sif rolled her eyes. "I will not miss calling him 'prince' or the honorifics tied to the title, but why he has chosen to change his name is incomprehensible to me."

"You are queen. You were no longer required to follow that etiquette," Thor retorted.

"Old habits are harder to break than an alveo egg. Now, I have to remember new names and titles. I do not think I am quite prepared to call him brother."

"Aw, but that is the one title that remains unchanged, the dearest one which, until now, I feared was lost to me forever."

"Thor, if you tear up and attempt to cry again, I swear I will skin you and serve you in place of the pheasant at our feast tonight."

"Very well. I am still too pleased with this day to defy you, my queen. Let us go to the tavern to begin celebrating properly! Sister, will you come or do you wish to pursue your husband to congratulate him on his battle prowess?"

"Ummm, yeah, I think I need to rest for a bit," Leah answered, her head still spinning from all that had occurred.

"Rest well, then, for tonight we will feast and you will join us at the king's table- for next to myself, the queen, and my brother, you are equal to none other in Asgard now."

oooooo

She slowly wandered away from the glassy clearing, but instead of pursuing the pups as she originally intended, she gave way to what she had longed desired to do and followed her internal drive to find her imprint.

She found him lying in a meadow fringed with pine trees, his green cape beneath him as a blanket, and his armor piled haphazardly next to his empty boots.

"Have I been permanently banished from New Asgard or do they again cry for my head on a pike?" Fenris commented lazily without turning to face her. He tossed a dagger into the air again and again and caught it easily in his long fingers.

"Pretty much both," she answered as she sat down next to him in the grass. "You have upset and impressed them-but I'm pretty sure that's what you meant to do."

"But of course. My primary purpose here has been accomplished," he said smugly. "However, I have long been praised for my efficiency. My secondary purpose still stands. You and the pups will be protected and provided for the duration of your lives. As long as Thor and Sif remain, you can count on them for aid and all Asgard is required to grant you honor and safe refuge. As sister to the king and House matriarch, they must accept you as their own."

"You are doing it again," she said with a sigh.

"What, pray tell, am I doing?"

"That thing you do...you assume you have to do something or earn something or prove yourself. It's as if you can't separate yourself from your 'princeliness.' Why should we care about being permanently connected to your brother and your people and the throne? Why isn't it enough to be connected to you?"

"I am not so optimistic about the future acceptance and well-being of my rather unique progeny in these lands without such actions. They require longer-lived kin more educated in the affairs of all Nine Realms for both their education and assistance. How well do your kin know the history and biology of the inhabitants of Jotunheim?"

"As compelling as that reason is, it's not your real reason," she said. He turned his face away and continued tossing his dagger idly, as if he had not heard her.

"Are you preparing to leave us?" she asked, no longer keeping her suspicion to herself.

He grew quiet. "Why would I stay?" he finally answered, allowing the slightest fissure in his mask to reveal the deep mires contained within him- the ones she could sense but was rarely permitted to see.

If it were his words alone, she would have felt his response as an accusation-a poignant arrow piercing open her own sense of unworthiness. However, she could drink in the emotions he did not speak and she realized it was his own heart he pierced and not hers.

"Yeah. You've got a point," she said, not wanting to sugarcoat his recent trespasses or her own frustrations. "Why would you stay? Since I first phased, you pretty much have done nothing but insult me, avoid me, humiliate me, and try to get away from me. Now, here, you bring me to meet your family and basically introduce me as little better than your concubine and then ditch me to the mockery of everyone. Let's not forget your liaison with an old flame and a surprise farce of a wedding which makes us have all the legalities of a marriage without even talking to me about it first.

"And that's not discussing your past. Yeah, Thor told me about Jotunheim and New York and Thanos and all that. You've done some really terrible things-though your brother thinks you have been punished enough and feel remorse. Still, it's a lot to take in.

"Tell me, Fenris, why would you stay? Why should I even want you to stay?"

He continued to toss his dagger as he appeared to mull over his response. While his face and posture projected ease and repose, it was all a fragile mask and he could not hide how he wished to shrink away from her presence and avoid continuing their conversation. A bitter fear of rejection lurked beneath his indifferent facade and he fought hard to keep his fears hidden.

Then his mood shifted as suddenly as a thunderclap and his face lit up with a wide grin.

"You wish me to stay because I am strikingly handsome and charming and you cannot stay away even when you try," he answered with a sideways glance over his shoulder to where she sat. "And I will choose to stay because I cannot resist being irresistible."

She groaned and kicked his leg. He gave a boyish laugh and caught her leg under his. He grinned and a daisy materialized in his hand. He placed it behind her ear and nodded his approval as he arranged her hair carefully around it.

"Can you please be serious?"

"I spend far too much of my time required to be serious. What if I wish to be idle and merry?"

Leah tried to remove her leg from under his and pull herself away, but he failed to relinquish his hold. His eyes sparked as he noted her struggle and growing irritation.

"What bothers you more, good lady? Is it how much you loathe my villainous, intolerable presence or how much you long for it? If I am understanding you properly, you cannot decide whether to strike me or kiss me and even I cannot advise you how to reconcile such opposing desires. It is little wonder you are so confused."

She shook her head and covered her face with one hand. He was right and he knew he was right, but there was absolutely no way she would admit it outloud.

I hate you," she said through her hands, though they both knew she didn't, and couldn't, mean it.

He sat up to draw closer to her. "Do you now? Are you quite sure? Somehow, I still do not believe you really mean it from the heart. Convince me," he whispered.

"I hate you," she said again, though without inflection in her voice and without making eye contact. Her head whipped up to face him as Fenris' fingers made their way through the back of her hair and he dipped his head so close to hers that she felt his breath drag along her cheek.

"Liar," he whispered into the skin of her neck and she nearly jumped as a trail of cool kisses made a line up the remainder of her neck to her ear.

"It's true. I really hate you," she said. A half-smile tingled across her lips as she cocked her head to one side and watched his eyes dance brightly with his amusement.

"I assure you, the sentiment is clearly shared," he said with an air of solemnity. Then he dipped his head to meet her lips with his own and kissed her for the first time in human form. She gasped in surprise as warmth flooded her from her head to her toes and she caught his sense of pleased amusement. He maintained his reverent hold of her hair in his fingers as he leaned his forehead against hers, his eyes closed, and failed to allow her to wiggle away.

"So, you are leaving then?" she asked somewhat breathlessly.

"Most assuredly. What can the greatest shield-maiden on Midgard wish for from a disgraced ex-prince, former supervillain, and hapless Jotun exile?"

"You are right. Absolutely nothing. You are a complete disaster and there's nothing more I want from you," she said and she met his lips for a second time.

"Hmmm, you have already demanded everything I have."

"Is it so much to ask?"

"That remains to be seen."

"You benefit the most from this arrangement," she added in with a coy smile. "I am far too good for you and if you forget it, I will cut you into pieces as you sleep with this stupidly fancy knife I'm supposed to carry around. Seriously? Where am I supposed to keep this thing? It's not like it will fit in my boots."

Fenris broke into deep laughter as he took the dagger from her. He eyed both the dagger and her carefully before producing a black leather sheath with silver buckles, all shaped like serpents.

"You keep it on your hip or thigh," he told her and he handed it back to her. "You are much too small of stature to keep it on your arm or within your bracers."

"And when I phase?"

"It is enchanted to disappear when you phase and reappear after."

"Uh huh. Sarah told me about that little trick you did for her clothes when she phases. When were you going to tell me about that one?"

"And miss the opportunity to observe you unclothed? I would never be so foolhardy."

She groaned and pulled herself away from him, though he caught her hand in his and placed a rakish kiss along her knuckles. He tugged on her hand to bid her to lay her head against his chest as he reclined in the grass again. They both fell silent as they watched the birds in the pines overhead and she listened to the warm, steady thrum of his heartbeat.

"Will the pups be prepared to depart tomorrow?" he asked.

"Yeah. We are all ready. Will you be ok with leaving? You've barely gotten time with your people here."

"Oh, I do believe I have experienced my fill for a Midgardian century at least," he answered. She felt his mood shift from mirthful to melancholy and when he spoke next, his tone was both solemn and serious.

"I was ill-prepared for what I found here. I am the lord of fools," he said. "Even in my bitter anger, when my words cursed the realm that raised me and I wished their downfall, I never thought it possible it could really end. In a breath, a handful of years, the Eternal City is proved mortal and the All-Father and All-Mother are gone, along with more than half of the inhabitants who were supposed to remain for thousands of years. What I thought permanent is proved as fleeting as grass after the rains or a once mighty oak felled by a storm.

"And where was I? While Asgard burned and fell into ruin, I hid like a coward. I thought only of myself and avoiding a justly earned lifetime in a cell.

"I should have returned. I should have found a way to return and inquire into the well-being of the realm. Odin…there are words we needed to have said which can never be said now and ones I wish I had not spoken which linger and remain, more lasting than the ancient halls in which they were voiced.

"My adopted father was meant to live forever and remain as stable as the Realm Eternal. My brother was meant to always play the hero, to fix everything with a flash of hammer and a sparkle in his eye. My mother-we were supposed to speak again, I was to apologize for the tears I forced her to spill in our last moments together and I would tell her all the words she well-deserved but I was too much an ungrateful wretch to speak aloud. I am proved the foolish child Odin long accused me of being and it is my own past poisonous pride which most chastens me now.

"Now what is left? A pitiful remnant, a people robbed of all that made them great and left to die in the shadow of vanished greatness. They cannot stay on Midgard. Where will they go? Where can they go? What is to become of them?"

She listened and placed one hand firmly on his arm. What could she say? No words comforted her after the loss of her father, her beloved, or her idealized dreams of her future. What words could possibly comfort this ancient being after such loss? A tear slipped down her cheek as she felt the cataract of sorrow, regret, and loss cascade through his soul. For all his anger and bitterness, he had loved and loved deeply and it was that love that fueled his anger and bitterness. He used the anger as a cloak, as a protective wall, to keep himself safe from what lay beneath. He no longer bothered to hide behind his wall and she felt the full rush of his long-repressed thoughts bury them both.

"Leah, I am tired. I am weary to my core of long years spent trying to become what I am not and wishing to become something other than what I am. For once, let Thor take care of his own mess. Why should I tend the needs of his wife and kingdom? They made their choice and now I have no wish to fill the voids Thor has failed to fill. Asgard appointed me king once and that was enough to know I wish for no more."

"They offered you the throne...that's why you publicly rejected it," she remarked as the puzzle pieces fell into place.

"The illustrious Queen of Asgard offered me more than the throne," he answered wryly.

Leah stiffened slightly and closed her eyes as she remembered his emotional rollercoaster on the night of the party. She fought back the lump in her throat in an attempt to hide her emotions from him.

"It was Sif," she whispered. "She is your Sam."

He gaped slightly before tilting his head to one side in thought.

"Hardly an apt comparison," he finally said. "Your love was requited and then torn from you by enchantments outside of your control. The Lady Sif, while holding no qualms about using my person and my position as convenient to herself, never once feigned that her heart was mine. It always belonged to Thor, won without effort as all his boons are."

"But you loved her."

He failed to answer, which for him was answer enough. She could feel the truth of it through his treacherous emotions, whether he wished her to know or not.

"It matters not," he said distantly.

"It does, because she wants you now."

"No. She does not. I am, as ever, a means to an end, a tool. She wishes not for me but for what I can assist her with and she longs for me to fill a void that Thor has failed to fill. If the mighty Thor has failed, what hope do I have of surpassing him? Precious little. No, what I had with Sif belonged to shadows and stolen moments and the secrets hidden in the lineage of our son. It has no place in the present."

"You had a son?" Leah asked in surprise.

"Aye. Long, long years past. We were young and ambitious and the Lady Sif is one who does not balk at throwing off societal expectations. We often found a kind of camaraderie together. Once, I thought we could have more. I was corrected."

"What happened?"

"When time came for her to be joined to a House and enter the sacred battle ring, she was the most highly desired maid in Asgard for her wealth, rank, and beauty. She choose the most renowned warriors of all Asgard and then, much to everyone's surprise, she systematically obliterated them each on the battlefield.

"She humiliated them all and, at the end, she lifted her own sword into the air and cut off her long hair as all Asgard watched in mortification. Then, with the pride of a queen, she said she required the sword and name and House of no man. To add fuel to the fires of scandal, she proved to be with child. She bore a son she called Ullr Sifson and she refused to claim a husband or father for her son.

"The nobles were so scandalized that they cried out to the All-Father to force her to submit to tradition and behave in a more 'womanly' manner. Thor, on the other hand, found her actions most impressive and entertaining. As soon as her son was grown, he invited her join his most elite force of warriors. She refused to give her hand in marriage to any until her beloved Thor was forced to take an Aesir bride instead of his Midgardian preference. She released her pride long enough to allow the Golden Prince to defeat her in the ring and grant her his dagger-an honor she refused to all others."

"Including you," she said, noting the long fermented bitterness in his heart.

"A detail I wished the good lady had informed me of before I courted her favor, entered the battle ring, and outraged all Asgard by providing her with a 'fatherless' son. She failed to speak her true motivations until after publicly rejecting me as husband and instead used me to bring honor to herself."

"What happened to your son?"

"Ah, he grew to be a fine warrior, renowned for his exploits, but he is long since grown and settled on Alfheim. His mother ensured none on Asgard-not even the boy himself-ever knew the name of his sire. It took me long to forgive her that, and it did nothing to warm our subsequent relationship."

"That's kinda awful," Leah said.

"Now only after the downfall of Asgard, is she willing to grant me open courtship. I cannot forget that in the past she would no more proclaim me as hers than she did announce our son as mine. I was doubly robbed, both of mother and child, and relegated to the shadows. I was treated as a sword to be drawn as need required, but hidden away after and treated as naught but a shame upon her lineage. I have no wish to resurrect our past."

"So, she is now your sister-in-law. That's really awkward."

"Less so than circumstances would dictate. We have spent over a thousand years as warrior-companions and we are well-adept at setting aside our conflicts...or we were until recent years' turbulent events.

"Sif believes I have long sought the throne of Asgard and would willingly supplant my brother upon it. It proves how shallow the lady's knowledge of me truly is."

"What is it that you wanted?"

"A place to belong," he answered with a sad half-smile. "I wished for the respect and admiration of the All-Father and my brother and our people. I wished for their acknowledgement of my worth. The throne was ever only a means to that end."

"What do you want now?"

"To decide what I want," he said in a tone tinged with melancholy and wistfulness. "I have spent so many thousands of years in the service of Asgard, doing all in hopes of gaining their fleeting favor. I wish to no longer be their chameleon or the one they call in their dark nights to fill their secret needs only to be forgotten in the light of day. I long since tired of the hypocrisy of the Aesir and wish to forge my own path."

"What does that path involve?" she asked.

"I have many options, though only one is of interest. You see, I was recently offered a most regal position as alpha of a brave and honorable wolf pack. There is a small patch of forest in Canada which I hear is in need of a new tyrant king to rule its salmon and its chipmunks and ensure its pinecones kneel in reverence."

"Hmmm, you know, I do think you may have what it takes to rule chipmunks. Life among the Aesir has given you plenty of practice," she answered.

Her head shook from the answering laughter running through his chest and he pulled his arms around her. Before long, they both fell asleep in the warmth of the sun.

Oooooo

When Leah woke, she saw only the last lingering rays of the sun left in the edges of the meadow. She stretched on the long grass and yawned. She blinked twice as she caught green eyes looming over her and a great, pink tongue drooling on her shoulder. She sat upright with a disgusted gasp and pushed the huge nozzle of the white wolf away.

"What are you doing?" she said and she rolled her eyes as the large head buried itself on her lap instead of moving away.

She laughed and scratched his head. He leaned into her hand and closed his eyes in enjoyment before his tongue found her face.

"Ugh! Gross!" she said and half-heartedly pushed him away. He whined and licked her again.

In a flicker of green, it was no longer a wolf. A dark head of hair fell into her lap. She smiled and tangled her hands in his hair. Fenris angled his head to consider her and her cheeks grew warm under the intensity of his gaze and of emotions she felt in the eyes staring up at her.

He caught the hand still tangled in his hair and brought it to his lips where he let it linger. His eyes met hers again and he lifted himself onto his elbow so he could press his lips against hers and allow himself to deepen it.

She felt something between them snap and shift as he did. It took her a few moments to identify what had changed.

He stopped fighting.

Fenris released his long-standing hold against their bond and let it cascade over them like a waterfall and fill the space between them. The bond swelled and filled as if the breaking of a dam or the flooding of a sudden tidal swell and she felt as if she would drown in the sudden warmth and searing heat that engulfed her. As their emotions intertwined, they multiplied exponentially. They were immersed in a growing whirlpool, pushing them ever closer, ever tighter, ever deeper, until they could not tell where one heart ended and another began.

She knew that he had come to a decision and they would never be the same again.

oooo

"The Star Husbands" comes from Quileute Texts by Manuel J. Andrade, 1931, Columbia University Press.