I thought about combining this one with chapter 10, but I liked them as two separate chapters. Doesn't mean I can't post them at the same time though!

Chapter 11: Love is Pain

Bella raced down the road towards La Push. She'd told her dad about the wolves. Warned him as much as she could. Now she needed to tell Jacob. He could be pissed at her later. Right now she needed to make sure he wouldn't get hurt.

She knocked on the door to the familiar house. On the second knock, Billy answered. "Hey, Billy," she gave him a small smile, hoping he wouldn't turn her away. At least not yet. "I know Jacob's sick, but..."

"He's out with friends."

"He, um... he what? Out with friends?" She'd been trying to get a hold of him for days, driving herself crazy with worry, and he was out with friends?

Billy nodded. "I'll let him know you stopped by."

He made to close the door, but she stopped him. "Wait. You told my dad he has mono, right?"

Billy, who looked suddenly older than he was, gave her a sad smile. "Go on home, Bella."

He closed the door gently. Bella's heart raced. What the actual fuck just happened?

She stomped off the porch and climbed into her truck, crossing her arms and sliding down in her seat. Two could play this game. Or three, since Billy was apparently in on whatever the hell was going on. She could wait.

Eventually, and inevitably it seemed, rain began to pour. She saw Billy pull the living room curtains back. He gave her a sympathetic look when their eyes met. She stared back at him. "I'm not going anywhere until I see him, Billy," she grumbled as the curtains dropped back in place. "Just consider this truck your new lawn ornament because it's not moving and neither am I."

Not five minutes later, she saw Jacob coming towards the truck. Despite the rain, he was barefoot and shirtless. A pair of cut off jeans was the only stitch of clothing on him, in comparison to her jeans, converse, layered shirts, and hooded jacket. Equally shocking though was his shaved head. His long black hair was cut short, a neat crop all that was left.

He didn't smile when he saw her like he usually did. And it fucking hurt.

She climbed out of her truck, flipping up her hood as she went to meet him. She noticed Sam Uley, Embry, and two other teens she didn't recognize hanging back as Jacob approached her. They all had their haircut short and wore the same type of clothes (or lock thereof) that Jacob did.

"You cut your hair," she said by way of greeting.

It hadn't been what she'd meant to say, but Jacob did her one better. "Go away."

"Like hell," she muttered, watching as Jacob dutifully followed Sam and the rest towards the house. She reached out to grab his arm. His skin was still unnaturally warm. "What happened to you?"

He turned back, leaving the others waiting on the porch. Bella glanced at Sam then back to Jacob, recalling how freaked out and scared he'd been just a few days ago. Protectiveness surged in her chest. "I'll help you," she whispered, holding his hand tighter.

He shook his head. He glanced at their entwined hands before dropping hers and looking away.

Her heart ached. "Sam got to you. Didn't he? What did he do?"

"Sam's trying to help me," he snapped. "Don't blame him!"

"Then who?" she fired back. "Cause this sure as hell isn't you!"

"You want someone to blame, Bella? How about that filthy reeking bloodsucker you love, Hale?"

"I don't know-"

"You know exactly what I mean!" he shouted, practically shaking with anger.

"Jasper's been gone for months!" she yelled. Why bring him into this? Was he trying to hurt her? "How could any of this be his fault?"

"By just fucking existing! His whole family started this..."

"Jacob," Sam growled, and even Bella heard the warning in his voice. What the hell was happening?

Jacob took a deep breath and stared off into the trees. "I can't be friends with you anymore."

Direct hit. She nearly doubled over from the pain and the shock. "Are you... you are. You're serious. Look, I know I should've been more upfront about what I thought was going on between us, but I... Jake, you're my best friend. I can't imagine... I don't know what I'd do..."

He finally turned to look at her, his face pinched with pain. "Stop. Don't, Bella. Please."

"Just, I don't know, give me some more time and maybe..."

"It's not you, okay?" he said, taking a step toward her, but stopping himself. "It's not you..."

She laughed, but the sound was far too harsh to hold any humor. "Its not you, it's me? Seriously? That's the best you can do?"

"It is! I wish to God it wasn't!" he cried, taking a hand through his short hair. "I'm not... I'm not good, Bella."

Thunder crashed above them. They were both completely soaked through by now. Somewhere in the back of her mind she noticed that everyone besides Sam had gone inside, but she didn't care. The whole town of Forks and everyone in La Push could be watching them right now and it wouldn't make a difference to her. All that mattered was her and Jacob.

She shook her head. "You're wrong. I know you better than anyone and you're wrong. You are so good, Jake. It shines so bright in you, you're like... you're like the fucking sun, okay? I know you and this isn't you."

He looked like he was about to break and fell back a few steps. Towards the house. Towards Sam. Away from her. "I can't do this. I'm sorry."

"Jacob, don't. I can't lose you too. You promised..."

"Go-" he cut himself off, but she'd heard the quiver in his voice. The uncertainty. He shook his head and tried again. "Go home, Bella. Don't come back."