Chapter 32: Celebrity Entertainment News: Today's Big Story!
Sephiroth didn't normally follow gossip shows or tabloid media, but since Angeal's previously unknown centerfold had become a public spectacle he'd found himself compulsively checking online news sites, watching video, and glancing at newspapers.
Which was why he'd taken to keeping a television feed running on his computer while he attempted to sort out some training schedules. So far, he'd seen a lot of general nonsense about mindless celebrity gossip, and a fair amount about himself, Angeal, and Genesis, particularly related to that damned story in The Midgar Mirror. It all seemed to just be regurgitations of the original feature with a few odd speculations. Nothing else, fortunately, though he lived in dread of the day when the tabloids would start embellishing and making up worse fables.
So far that morning nothing of note had appeared. Not even leaked images from what he privately termed "the puppy shoot" of two days ago had shown up in any of the usual media sources. He wondered when PR planned to release them. Two days might not be enough time to process and edit them, he supposed.
He'd give his eyeteeth to get a look at their timetable. They and the Turks hadn't been forthcoming about the schedule at all.
Things got interesting around lunchtime. Just as he was considering his options for food, a garish entertainment news show, The Midgar Insider (With Steve Russell and Mindy Monroe!), came on with a flurry of over-bright graphics and blaring music. Naturally, it got his attention. That obnoxious intro would have succeeded even if he'd been wearing earplugs and sunglasses.
Onscreen, a flashy man in an orange and blue dyed leather suit grinned, displaying unnaturally perfect white teeth, and spoke in far too strident a tone: "Hellllooooo, everyone! It me again, Steve Russell! And with me, as always, is the lovely Mindy Monroe!" He gestured, and the camera panned to a lacquered, smiling, bottle blonde wearing false eyelashes tipped with tiny gems and a revealing outfit of cerise fabric trimmed with a plethora of yellow feathers. She waggled her fingers in a cutesy wave.
Sephiroth wondered if a naked chocobo was running around somewhere on the continent.
The pair was seated opposite one another with a low coffee table between them. They bantered a bit, congratulating each other on how amazing their outfits looked and joking about the awesome, world-shaking news they would impart, while the background strobed with pictures of celebrities alternating with abstract patterns in every color of the rainbow. And then the glaring, retina-searing images stopped on one: Angeal's centerfold from the chest up.
"Today's big story!" Mindy gushed, clasping her artistically manicured hands together before her ample bosom.
"And a big story it is!" Steve exclaimed breathlessly. "You'll never believe the latest wrinkle in this shocking SOLDIER drama!"
Sephiroth felt his eyes widen and his stomach lurch. A big story? That didn't sound good. He dropped everything else he'd been doing, grabbed his phone and punched in a preprogrammed code. When Genesis picked up, he said urgently, "Find a television or video stream and turn on channel eight, now!"
"What?" Genesis sounded confused. "I'm at lunch."
"Just do it! Use your PHS to watch! It's about Angeal!" Sephiroth didn't wait for a response. He turned his attention back to the entertainment news show, ignoring Genesis's questions and demands.
He'd missed a bit, but it didn't seem like crucial information. The two gossip-mongering hosts were still chortling about the astounding nature of the ongoing centerfold scandal. Sephiroth turned up the volume so he wouldn't miss any more of the celebrity gabble, which had suddenly become of critical importance to him.
Steve was saying, "—and now it turns out that it was actually faked!"
"This is certainly bad news for The Midgar Mirror." Mindy uttered a tinkling laugh, sounding delighted that a competing media source might be getting into hot water. "Let's hear the details, Steve!"
"The Gaia Express broke the story this morning!" Steve announced. "It turns out that the centerfold everyone is talking about appears to have been fabricated! Someone edited SOLDIER First Class Angeal Hewley's head onto an unknown man's body. The Midgar Mirror has a lot of answer for now! Looks like they ran their story without checking their facts."
The background displayed The Midgar Mirror's front page and headlines from the previous week. Next to it was a picture of The Gaia Express, its own headlines proclaiming "First Class Pin-Up: Faked! Our Experts Tell All!" Naturally, it also showed the censored version of Angeal's centerfold, prominently front and center.
The better for sales, Sephiroth assumed with a high degree of cynicism. Sex always sold. Even faked sex pictures. Both tabloid newspapers, and the celebrity gossip show—he hesitated to call it "news." Probably more media would also use that image as they produced their own versions of the story.
They were all selling sex. He'd suffered being their target often enough to recognize the sales pitch when he saw it. Normally, he'd just try to ignore it, shove down his feelings of betrayal and anger, but not this time. When it was him, it was just part of the job, something Shinra wanted and might even have deliberately arranged. But when one of his friends was being served up on a plate, particularly the one who actively avoided publicity, he couldn't help but feel rage. His fingers itched to summon Masamune and shove the blade through the gossips' faces.
Steve went on, "We contacted the Mirror as soon as this news came out, but they haven't responded to any of our queries. We also spoke to a Shinra public relations representative for their official position. Let's watch!"
The news clip that followed featured Brooke Hampton, cool as a cucumber and wearing a bland, corporate smile. She stood behind a portable podium bearing the Shinra logo, surrounded by cameras, hand-held microphones, and shouting reporters. Apparently, The Midgar Insider wasn't the only news source getting an official statement from Shinra. Sephiroth recognized mic logos from The Midgar News, Channel 8 Nightly News, Catco Media Action News, Entertainment Tonight, The Daily Planet, Channel 22 Junon News, WKRP News, and a smattering of others. Poor Angeal, stuck with being the focus of that circus.
At least it wasn't himself for once, Sephiroth thought with a guilty sense of relief.
Brooke spoke to them all: "Yes, we suspected some chicanery and our internal IT experts have been analyzing the image ever since it went public. I can confirm that we've drawn the same conclusions as The Gaia Express. The centerfold was definitely faked. We assume it to be the work of an anti-Shinra organization."
The Midgar Insider's interviewer asked with that particular hunger of a professional gossip, "Do you think it was AVALANCHE?"
"No," Brooke said, "it's not their style. They blow things up and commit real assassinations, not character assassinations." She and the crowd of reporters shared some laughter, then Brooke added, "We think it's a new group, and we will be searching for them to put an end to this outrage."
"What does Angeal think of all this?" another reporter pressed. "He's been silent ever since the centerfold came out. The public needs to know."
Brooke's expression became deadly serious. "At present, Shinra has advised him to avoid making any public appearances or statements. However, Angeal Hewley is known as one of the most upstanding figures in SOLDIER. He's considered an ideal SOLDIER operative and has been called SOLDIER's spiritual leader. I think we can all draw the correct conclusions from those facts. It's a shame there's been this cowardly attempt to smear him and, by association, the SOLDIER organization and the Shinra Electric Power Company. I can't reveal too many details yet, but I can say this unfortunate mess will be straightened out soon."
"What about Sephiroth? What's his opinion? Will he make any statements?"
Sephiroth huffed and didn't bother listening to Brooke's doublespeak to the gaggle of reporters. No one had asked him to make any official statements or give any interviews, and he didn't expect anyone would. It seemed the Turks had things well in hand without his help.
At that point, Genesis burst into Sephiroth's office without even a single knock on the door, phone in hand. He held it out so Sephiroth could see the screen, also streaming The Midgar Insider's report. "Did you see this?" he demanded, unnecessarily in Sephiroth's opinion considering that he'd informed Genesis of it in the first place. "What do you think?"
"I think the Turks and the Propaganda Department have been working a lot of overtime to make this happen so quickly," he replied. "They must be certain that a thorough analysis of the photograph will show digital tampering." He turned down the volume on his video stream and leaned back in his chair to regard his friend. "I imagine the more legitimate news sources have already gotten started with their own investigations and the professional cyber-analysts will soon involve themselves, as well."
"Which means the Turks have already replaced the original images with their modified ones, probably all over the Planet." Genesis nodded and crossed his arms over his chest. "They might've let us know the announcements would happen today."
"They probably wanted an element of surprise. In any case, Veld did warn us that something like this was coming. He just didn't specify what or when."
"Do you suppose Angeal knows yet?"
Sephiroth couldn't answer that any more than Genesis could, but he could speculate with the best of them. "I don't know if he's watching the news. I'd guess he's trying to avoid it, and I know Brooke and her team are keeping him too busy to have much time to seek it out, even if he were so inclined." He approved of that. He tilted his head, considering some options. "I suppose he could have seen a copy of The Gaia Express or caught some of the video in a public room somewhere in the building."
"Let's hope not. That news show even alarmed me, but he does need to know that his not-so-silent suffering is paying off. It might motivate him to quit griping so much."
"Perhaps PR or Veld can inform him, then. Maybe they already have."
Genesis quirked an eyebrow. "Avoidance, my friend?"
"His drama is getting exhausting." Despite that fact, Sephiroth still wanted to skewer some professional gossipmongers for Angeal's sake.
Genesis burst into laughter, holding his stomach. "You think Angeal's drama is exhausting! I never thought I'd see the day you complained about him instead of me!"
"You have your work cut out for you, Genesis. Your own drama has been eclipsed."
He half expected to dodge a fireball for that shot, but Genesis only turned an amused look on him. "Never," he said lightly. "It's really not that bad. You're just unaccustomed to drama from him."
"And you are?"
"Remember, I've known him since we were kids. That veneer of levelheadedness and pragmatism is thinner than you seem to think. I've seen him throw a few fits over the years."
Sephiroth hummed doubtfully.
Genesis shrugged at the noncommittal reaction. "So he's human. It would be weirder if he were a paragon all the time. It'll pass as soon as things settle down. You'll see. He doesn't have the temperament to stay upset for too long." He snorted. "He finds it as exhausting as you do. He's probably exhausting himself!"
"Who are you and what have you done with Genesis Rhapsodos?" His two friends seemed to have switched roles. He'd never have imagined that Genesis would be the tolerant, understanding friend, nor that Angeal would indulge in daily hysterics, but he supposed the world was full of strange and contradictory events. "You, the calm and patient one?"
"I'm hurt you never saw my kinder, gentler side before this."
Sephiroth felt his lips twitching, but before he could add to the fun, his PHS rang.
"Three guesses who that is," Genesis said, flashing his eyebrows twice.
"Hello, Angeal," Sephiroth said as he put the PHS to his ear, acknowledging both Genesis and the person on the other end of the call.
"Hey, Angeal!" Genesis called loudly enough to ensure he could be heard over the phone. "We're talking shit about you!"
Perhaps, Sephiroth mused, his two friends hadn't completely swapped roles.
"Tell Genesis he's an asshole," Angeal said on the phone. Amused, Sephiroth relayed the message, knowing that enhanced hearing ensured Genesis had caught it the first time.
"Yeah, yeah." Genesis waved a dismissive hand.
"So, I was calling to ask if you've seen The Midgar Insider today," Angeal said. "Based on Genesis being with you and his charming comment, I assume you did."
"We did," confirmed Sephiroth. "Have you, or did PR just tell you about it?"
"Oh, yeah, they told me about it. I wanted to let you guys know earlier, but they kept me crazy busy this morning."
Probably, Sephiroth assumed, to keep Angeal's mind off the announcement. Anticipation—or, more likely, apprehension—could mess with a man's head.
Angeal went on, "We took a break to watch that segment. They actually filmed it today, about an hour after The Gaia Express broke the story. Brooke gave a public statement to a bunch of news sources. She claimed it wasn't a full-blown press conference, just an announcement with a short question and answer session, but I think that's just semantics."
"Sounds like it," Sephiroth said. Of course it was a press conference, no matter what Brooke had called it. PR was getting their own story out quickly to as many sources as possible, and to nudge them into the "correct" attitude about Angeal. Shinra would probably have a much bigger press conference later, after the legitimate news media had analyzed the doctored evidence and concluded that The Midgar Mirror had made the whole thing up.
"Anyway," Angeal said, "she knew The Midgar Insider was going to scoop their competition by running her interview at noon and made sure everyone watched it."
Genesis leaned over Sephiroth's shoulder to get near the phone's microphone and teased, "Was it everything you hoped and dreamed it would be?"
"Ha ha," Angeal deadpanned. "All the PR people cheered and clapped. I guess it's going to run on several real newscasts today, as well. I can't tell you how relieved I am that this is almost over."
"Not much longer to go, since everything seems to be proceeding well. With luck, they won't need to extend your involvement," said Sephiroth. He switched his PHS to speaker mode so Genesis would stop hanging over him. That was annoying. "Is that why you seem calmer today?"
"Partly. I've got more good news. You know that jerk photographer, the one who always yelled at everyone?"
"How could I forget?"
"What a shit show that guy created," Genesis growled. "Where did Shinra dig him up? In some third rate studio in Wall Market?"
"Genesis is right," Sephiroth added. "Usually photoshoots are an annoying waste of time, not nightmarish horror shows. What you've been experiencing with this media team is not normal at all."
"Yeah, well, supposedly he came highly recommended," said Angeal. "I guess he usually works the fashion district. Despite his bad temper and constant criticism, he did produce great photos."
"That's no excuse," Genesis snapped. "There are tons of professional photographers who take great shots without being total bastards. Don't sugarcoat it. He was an abusive jackass and doesn't deserve any defense. We know you've been miserable and foul-tempered this whole time."
"All right, I admit it," Angeal said. "He sucked. No one's going to have to experience his temper anymore, though. He was gone this morning." He spoke that last with what sounded like a touch of glee.
"So soon? Was he fired?" Sephiroth couldn't keep the satisfaction out of his voice.
"All anyone will tell me is that he's, and I quote, exploring other opportunities better in line with his career goals. Which is the usual euphemism for getting fired." Angeal's tone became suspicious. "You don't sound surprised, Sephiroth. Did you have something to do with it?"
"He was an unprofessional jackass, no matter how good his pictures were," proclaimed Genesis. "He deserved to get fired."
"Sephiroth, you didn't answer my question," said Angeal. "What did you mean by 'so soon?'"
"I may have made a formal complaint about his conduct to certain individuals with authority over personnel," Sephiroth admitted, somewhat understating his degree of involvement. Angeal didn't need to know he'd stomped up to the PR offices, made both demands and threats, and had given the upper managers a cold-blooded tongue-lashing in a calculated, terrifying, and dispassionate performance that even Genesis would have applauded. They had been suitably impressed. Though "cowed" might be a better description, he thought smugly.
What good was being the Warrior Hero and Poster Boy of Shinra if he couldn't use his status to exert a little influence now and then? It was part of his job as Angeal's moral support. He rather liked the role and took it seriously.
Genesis looked approving and gave him a thumbs-up sign. Sephiroth smiled at him, feeling quite pleased with himself.
"Uh, huh," was what Angeal replied knowingly. "I should lecture you about ruining with another person's livelihood..."
Genesis rolled his eyes. Sephiroth waited.
"...but I'm too grateful for that. Thank you, Seph, from the bottom of my heart. That guy was a bigger asshole than Genesis."
"Love you, too," Genesis sniped.
"The workplace wasn't toxic today. Thank you again."
"I'm surprised no one else complained," Sephiroth commented. Angeal might not have realized that photoshoots for an extensive PR campaign weren't normally distressing to the point of insanity, but the other so-called professionals involved should have known better.
"That asshole was a special contractor they hired specifically because they liked the style of his work. They all just took the view that he'd only be around for a few weeks." Angeal sighed heavily. "Plus, they weren't the ones on the stage, though he bitched and yelled at everyone. I figured I'd just tough it out like them."
"And lose your mind while you were at it?" Genesis said. "Bad plan."
"Yeah, I know."
"Well, he's gone." Sephiroth added with a tiny quirk at his lips, "At least now all you need to worry about is hair and makeup. I know how much you enjoy that."
"I can live with the hair and makeup routine. I've gotten used to it."
"That's good."
"It sure is," said Genesis. "Maybe you'll stop being so grouchy now."
"Ha. Ha. Ha," said Angeal sourly.
"Sarcasm doesn't suit you, SOLDIER First Class Sparkle Fluff. Try again after you've got your old look back."
Sephiroth couldn't stop himself from snorting right into the phone—thus, right into Angeal's ear. He didn't apologize. Genesis was never going to let Angeal hear the end of it.
"Just for that," Angeal told them, "I'm not going to warn either of you when the puppy pictures go live. You get to find out when the fan clubs start nagging you both for autographs on them."
"Oh, come on, you know we're just teasing," Genesis wheedled. "You can tell us the Great Secret Timetable."
"Nope."
"At least none of the puppies pooped on any of us like Genesis's favorite birds," Sephiroth observed dryly.
"I still wish I'd seen that," said Angeal, laughing. "I had no idea it ever happened at all. You sure can keep a secret, Genesis."
"I'm a mere tyro compared to you," Genesis shot back. "Your secret was way more shocking than some annoying bird crap."
NOTES: It's back! FYI, I'm currently alternating between three different fics, plus doing a huge decluttering project in my house, and still making time for friends and family, so updates won't be regular, but I will get this story moving again.
Next time: The Midgar Mirror isn't finished yet...