Ciel couldn't let things stand the way they were. It's not that she didn't trust her Master per se, more that she just wanted to make sure things would be all right.

She wasn't so naive as to think that he didn't know what he was getting into, consorting with that... Servant of gold. She did, however, feel that experience had its place in the grand scheme of things, and that she would simply be a better judge of Archer than Kirei would be. Her Master had cruelty in him, yes, but he really knew nothing about the world outside of himself.

He was like a child, lost on his way, with only an innocent desire for destruction.

She could hardly blame him, though. She knew what it was like to be cursed with a compulsion to hurt others; it had caused her to lose everything that she loved. Everyone.

All the suffering she underwent later at the hands of the Holy Church was nothing compared to the endless self-flagellation she endured.

Experiments. Hot irons raked across her body, creating furrows of blood on her back that sealed up almost as quickly as they were made. It was all the Executors could do to slow the healing enough to tattoo words of blessing on her skin, in the hopes of sealing the vampiric soul within her.

Because Roa's soul was intermingled with her own, every attempt to seal him away produced immense pain in every cell of her body, as if her genetic code were being torn apart and then only hastily retied. Such damage to her body necessarily produced concomitant effects in her psyche, and so her mental sufferings were exacerbated to an exquisite level.

After a while, her consciousness floating in and out of the pain began to embrace it. The sensation was so all-encompassing, that she began to see it as beautiful. She began to understand Roa, understand why he so desired to inflict pain on others. For it was so, so much easier to bring another to the depths of pain than the heights of pleasure, and is it not so that at the lowest depths one could wrap around the human experience vertically, and coexist at the zenith and the nadir? Is it not so that watching another suffer could only bring the highest joy to Roa, and did not Ciel want to experience the same? Didn't she...

Didn't she love it? Didn't she love the pain? Didn't she want Roa always inside her, moving her with his evil to commit the most heinous of acts, tarnishing her soul eternally?

It wasn't as if Roa had no love. He loved, he loved, he loved. He loved the Princess of the True Ancestors, and always desired to give her the only sublime heaven that he knew; the heights of suffering. Why did she not see that? Why did she run away? Ciel wouldn't... Ciel never could deny her love of the foreign invader of her soul.

And yet, she did. She hated what she had done, even if she wasn't the one who did it. Her hands were red with blood, no matter by whose agency. She was evil, corrupt, had to be killed.

She welcomed the knives of the Church, she welcomed their poking and probing into her innermost sancta. After all, they promised salvation, didn't they? She knew she loved the pain, loved the viscera of her parents cracking in her hands... but that wasn't her. That wasn't her at all. That was Roa, an existence that could not exist, a being contrary to God. It was his influence poisoning her, and she wanted him out. She would endure anything to make that happen.

XXX

She willingly laid herself bare, stripping naked so the Church Agents could inspect her.

Standing in the dark room, she could see none of them, but she knew they could all see her. Every part of her body, every inch of skin and flesh, perfectly athletic due to her accursed vampirism.

Her blue hair flowed to her shoulders, as she spoke into the vacuum.

"You know why I am here, and you know that I have agreed to this. Please do not have any compunctions about what I can handle; I am strong and can survive anything but the festering poison within my heart. If you can remove that, I will endure the tortures of Lucifer himself."

She spread her arms wide. Her heart beat dirhythmically, two strong beats, followed by two weak ones. Two rhythms that merged into one, even as they maintained separate identities.

The beats resounded in her ears, as she was unsure that anyone had heard her. She knew they were there, but did they care?

She prostrated herself on the ground, unsure where to face.

A voice intoned from the distance, as if speaking to her soul from the cavern at the end of time.

"An thou wilt, We shall purify thee."

The words were like smooth honey in her ears, soothing her worries and wounds.

"I will," she said. "Purify me."

As soon as the words left her lips, she felt a great wind rushing against her. It focused against her back, and entered her. It traveled through her spine, like a white-hot fire that consumes all. It ran to her neck, and she felt it pushing inside of her, trying to break the barrier between spinal cord and brain.

But it couldn't. It kept trying, and kept pounding against the wall, but it couldn't penetrate it.

Every single knock was agony. Every time it moved within her, she felt the opposite of what she had felt when Roa would surface within her. When Roa surfaced, she felt power. She felt like she could do anything, and there was no one above her, not even Death, or God.

But now... This white snake in her spine was robbing her of everything. She could only feel it pressing down on her, willing her to submit to its heat. It was like a Sun, the great enemy of vampires. She only wanted to fall and worship it, she only wanted to let that barrier down and let it through to her most intimate psychic chambers.

"Arghghgh!" she screamed, as her body convulsed. Her body wanted to let the barrier down, it was the only thing that could save it.

"The Agent of the Lord is within thee, Elesia. Accept him and become pure."

She wanted to scream that she couldn't, no matter how much she wanted to. But she had no control of her organs of speech, and could only continue writhing.

"Wilt thou not? Liedst thou, wert thou dishonest in thy speech? So be it."

I didn't! I... I can't, I don't know why, I just can't, please don't hurt me any more, I was wrong, I couldn't take it, I don't want to be pure, I will die like this, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die!

The pain intensified and she was in oblivion.

She could no longer feel pain, no longer feel her body at all.

I... I just want to live. Please let me live.

The light of her soul was dark.

The probing white snake wrapped itself around her brain, having broken the barrier by force.

When she lost the barrier, she lost all sensation.

Now in the hole in her soul, when Roa was pushed out leaving only the smallest trace, she felt the light. It filled her and conquered her, and she willingly submit herself to it.

It filled her with pain, but she could no longer remember the pleasure she had felt before; this was all she knew, and so she loved it. She craved it, more and more.

The Agents of the Holy Church looked down at her from their shadowed pedestals, seated in a semicircle before her. They were well pleased with her success in surviving LUCIFER, their secret project for Dead Apostle Purification.

"Elesia?" they said.

Ciel returned to her body, and felt the stabbing pains of the white snake inside herself, trying to break out of her body. It was as if her body was made out of swords, of Black Keys penetrating her from the inside out.

But the pain was all she knew, so she loved it. It invigorated her, and gave her strength to stand.

She slowly erected herself, every move causing the Black Keys she felt inside to tear at her joints. They weren't physical, though; they couldn't be, not if she could still move. They must be psychic pains, purifying her soul, bringing her back to herself.

"I am here, Fathers," she said. "I am yours to do with as you wish."

The Agents deliberated among themselves in silence. Finally, they arrived at a consensus, and reactivated the communication channels from their chamber to hers.

"We require nothing of thee as yet, save for additional service as a Vicar of Christ."

"What does this entail?" asked Ciel.

"Thou'rt surely familiar of the Passion of the Lord?"

"Of course."

Their collective voice burned its words into her cranium.

"Thou shalt surely know the Lord, and We shall delight in thee."

XXX

Was it worth it? She didn't think it was, now, though at the time she felt she had no other choice. And now she had to prevent her Master from making a similar mistake, from entrusting his wellbeing to one who would betray him at the soonest opportunity, in the vain hope of some redemption gained thereby.

She stalked the outside of the Tohsaka mansion. It was dark night, and the woods were quiet. In the center of the courtyard was a pedestal on which stood a large red jewel, which she knew was the focus of Tohsaka's power.

Ciel had known a Magus or two in life, and could not possibly imagine that Tohsaka had nothing else up his sleeve, but it was strange to her that he would leave something like that exposed. Terribly out of character for one so risk-averse as he.

Which meant that it was not so risky in Tohsaka's eyes. Ergo, his Servant must be watching.

Well, she had come tonight to bring peace, not the sword.

Standing on a treetop high above the courtyard, she called out.

"Archer, show yourself! Your Master is foolish in thinking to provoke enemy Servants to attack his apparently undefended Focus Jewel."

A golden dust materialized on the roof of the mansion across the courtyard.

"Dare you insult my Master, mongrel?" Gilgamesh's voice resounded even before he took form.

"Do you disagree with my assessment?" Ciel asked.

"Ugh. Stupid mongrels." Gilgamesh was now fully present, his gleaming golden armor only minimally leading Ciel's eyes away from the look of royal disdain on his face, as if it were the greatest chore for him to interact with her. "It matters not whether you are correct; merely the fact that you have spoken against one to whom I am tied is grounds for immediate death. Tokiomi is my anchor to this mortal coil, after all; as well as yours, if you think about it. Though you never would, would you."

"Gilgamesh," Ciel said, "You and I both know that you will not kill me here. So, dispense with the empty threats and posturing. I come here to tell you, in strictest confidence, something that you will find interesting. I only ask for your co-operation, or at least your word, in return."

"I have quelled my anger for the moment. You may speak, though it irks me to listen to your peasant voice."

"My Master," Ciel began, "is under the impression that your loyalty to Tohsaka is tenuous, at best, and-"

"Tokiomi?" Gilgamesh said. "I make no pretense of loyalty to any grovelling dog, no matter how high on the ash heap he may sit. It would be an affront to the office which I inhabit."

"Then, Tohsaka is...?"

"Aware of this? Yes, dog though he may be, he is not stupid. He knows his place and will not contravene it. Your Master, however... he is different. I would worry for his sanity if not for my interest in seeing him crumble."

"I wonder," Ciel chose her words carefully, "if my Master's naivete may not become a stumbling block for us. He knows nothing of what he wants, but he earnestly desires to find out. If, as you say, he crumbles, our own hopes of obtaining the Grail may come to nothing. Surely even you cannot abide by that?"

"I care not," Gilgamesh said. "I own the Grail already; all the treasures of this world reside in my storehouse. Thus, it will be returned to its rightful place by the hands of Fate, sooner or later. There is no reason not to enjoy myself in the meantime, and your Master should provide ample entertainment." He paused for a moment. "...don't tell me. Does this bother you, dear Assassin?"

"Well, yes, of course it does. If my Master is led astray and I lose the Grail thereby, then-"

"Stupid! Stupid, stupid, STUPID mongrel. Do you not understand anything I have been saying? The Grail is mine and no other hands may soil it with their dirt. You and your Master are nothing but accessories in this War, mere assistants to my exalted self. If you do not learn your place soon enough, I will personally ensure your quick removal to the Throne of Heroes, Tokiomi's wishes be damned. Now go. I cannot stand you anymore, my eyes water at your ugliness."

Ciel quickly ran back into the forest, and saw Gilgamesh's presence begin to dissipate out of the corner of her eye. As she ran back to the Church, thoughts assailed her head.

I was right about him. He doesn't even care that I know what he thinks of us! His mind is truly diseased, the inverse of Kotomine's. Perhaps they would go well together, but if they did, they would do an excellent job of creating chaos.

What am I to do? I have been saddled with a most unsavory Master, and I don't know how I can bring him back to the light. I know that's where he wants to be... But he can't find his way. He scrabbles at weak handholds that always let him down in the end. I want to give him hope, I want him to see meaning in his life. I want to help him, and I want to walk with him in the light.

Is that not what he would want? The one I loved... he is gone now, but is that not what he would want of me? He only ever wanted to help those straying in the dark. It is why I loved him, why I wanted to protect him from the Princess of the True Ancestors. He was weak, but he loved, and he would have laid his life down for me.

His heart was pure, and he was able to fight and win against his inner shadows. He inspired me with his innocence, and he would want me to help my Master in this way.

Please, God. Help me do what I couldn't, what couldn't be done for me.

Help me save him before he destroys himself.

XXX

Kirei Kotomine sat in the rectory, his Bible closed on the nightstand next to him. Though he had spent his time that night doing what he always did, its pages again defied his search for wisdom in them.

He wanted to turn its pages, swallow its words, learn everything contained within them. He wanted to achieve a sense of closeness to his Creator through the Word, but the Word would not enter his soul.

It frustrated him to no end... but perhaps something else was out there? Something else that could fill the void in his heart.

The hole was empty, and without the Light it must be filled with Darkness. For did not the God who created light, who was the Light and the Life unto all men, also create Darkness and Death? There is a path for those who walk in the Light, but if God loves all then he must also have created a Way for the Sons of Darkness.

This was He who sat at the right hand of the Right Hand, the inversion of the Christ. The Creator, the Father, in His infinite wisdom prepared a way for those who love Him from the mud. The mud is also granted a place within the Kingdom, flowing below it and raining down from the top.

The Kingdom must be warmed, and it must be warmed by the fires of curse flowing underneath it, like magma. Kirei felt this is where he needed to be, this was his role assigned to him. God loved him and God knew him, and God chose him as His servant to provide this blessing unto men. God cannot soil himself with the dirt of sin, but still needed someone to adopt the burden.

God's Son suffered, but that is passive destruction. Taking an active role in creation of evil would violate the compact God had entered into with his Children, the Sons of Light. Thus God has relegated himself to a separate role, as the Light-bringer; but the true Bringer of Light is Lucifer, the fallen Angel.

Lucifer, he who enlightens the eyes of the blind and stops up the mouths of the wise. It is he who I worship, it is he whose lot has been assigned me. God has not turned away from me, he has only selected me for the role of the antagonist. The one who will transvaluate human society, the one who will lead the men of this era to truth in falsehood, to the light in the darkness, to the life in death.

This must be the Way. For if it is not, why would God have made me the way He did? It is only that He must want a greater truth from me, that He wants me to shoulder the sins of man as an active destroyer, as the God who slays the multitudes and levels mountains and raises valleys. He who shoulders the sins of man and provides them with salvation.

But there are so many sins, and so little time.

How, Lord? How can I serve thee? What must I do?

A knock at the door.

Oh, how polite of Assassin. Truly, a good Servant, almost saintly - with the littlest bit of the germ of evil within her heart - in life. She knocks.

"Please come in, Ciel."

The door opened slowly, and the black-clad Servant entered. Kirei found her amusing, a strange reflection of his own youth. But she seemed to have gone past her evil, and found some light. Clearly, not the same as he. Not one who cannot enter the light, not one who must make another path branching from the Way of Christ.

She was, in the final analysis, still one of the blessed ones.

Kirei resented that, but soon quieted his heart. He has a mission, does he not? He need only await its revelation to him.

"Master, I must warn you away from that golden Servant, Gilgamesh."

How strange. He wasn't even thinking of Archer; that was Tokiomi's problem for the moment. He still needed time to do what must be done, time to prepare his questions before he could ask Gilgamesh what he wanted to know of the ancient days.

"Ciel," Kirei said. "Have a seat."

Ciel pulled out the chair from the desk next to Kirei's bed, and sat on it facing him.

"You see," Kirei began, "There is an essential difference between you and me, dear Servant. Yes, we are both Servants of God, but we have each taken our own paths to that same end, correct?"

"Of course, but that is exactly why-!"

"Ah." Kirei raised his hand, signalling her to let him continue. "That is indeed exactly why you must trust me. I am your Master, and the Holy Grail War is what I have been trained for. I know myself, and I know Tohsaka - and I even know Gilgamesh. I know you, too. I know you fancy yourself a saviour of men, or rather, that is the role you always wanted to have. Perhaps it was necessary to look at yourself that way, in order to feel like you could atone for the evil that had been wrought through your hands."

Ciel's eyes hardened, her nostrils flared, but she kept silent.

"I know you hate when I say such things, but I feel it necessary to point this out. While I appreciate your intentions in warning me away from, as you see it, clear and present danger, I must assure you that I know what I am doing. It would behoove you to instead focus your considerable energies on your task of aiding Tohsaka in his victory."

Ciel couldn't resist speaking.

"Yeah, I bet that's what you want from me," she spat out of the corner of her mouth. "You expect me to sit here and wait for orders that'll never come, while you plan betrayal? I know what you're thinking. No matter how you feel about it, I'm not stupid. I know you plan to do Tohsaka in. I don't know why - or maybe I do, and that's what scares me. You may have read up on my life but you haven't lived it, and until you have you won't know what it's like to have done something that can never be undone."

"Cannot be undone? Surely, you don't mean to deny the fact of the Resurrection? My Master's brief departure from this mortal coil would be a much-needed vacation for him."

"Don't. Don't joke with me about this. It's all I can do to stop myself from running you through with a Black Key just to shut you up and preemptively put you out of the misery you'll be in if you go ahead with what you're planning. You may be angry now, you may feel frustrated, you may really want to kill him. But I'm warning you: If you do, you'll never forget it, and you'll never live it down. It will haunt you forever, peeling away the thin veneer of sanity protecting your soul, and though God may forgive you, your soul never will. It will leave your heart an empty shell, devoid of feeling and meaning."

"Oh, Elesia," Kirei chuckled. "You think I don't know this? But, sadly, you are mistaken. You warn me about a tragic future but you haven't realized one very small but incredibly important little datum."

Kirei stood.

"I'm not heading towards an emptiness of heart. That's where I am, and I need to get out of it. And no, you cannot help me with that, because you haven't broken free from that yourself, no matter what self-delusions you may harbor. And though you seem to feel it is inevitable, I have no intentions of freeing my Master from this war just yet. I have far more pressing matters to attend to. In the meantime, I will ask that you not stab me."

Ciel stood in front of him, Black Keys reflecting in the candlelight.

"Do you intend to enforce that with a Command Seal?" she asked.

Kirei chuckled. He lifted his right arm and bared his sleeve. "Do you intend to find out?"

Ciel's confident air faltered for a moment, just long enough for Kirei to brush her aside.

"I thought so," he said, walking to the door.

He opened it, and turned around to Ciel before leaving. She had regained her lost poise, but he could tell that her only strength now came from the weapons in her hands, rather than the fires in her eyes, and he knew that she was no threat to him at the moment. Later, perhaps, but for now...

"Thus it is demonstrated to you, my dear, dear Servant, that you and I have diverged from the path in different ways. My divergence gives me strength, whereas yours makes you weak. I have summoned you chiefly to act as a balance to my own power, for it is known that even a God can be killed by the poison of weakness, and I sense that within you. I sense the resentment in your soul, the burning hatred that can consume the world - if you only let it. I know your poison is of a different kind than mine, so the God I shall kill is of a different kind than the one whose heart you shall sink your knife into. For I," he paused, letting her absorb the full import of his meaning, "shall kill the Father, but you shall kill the Son. Is this not your destiny, o Vampiric incarnation of Angra Manyu?"

Ciel wanted to throw her Black Key at the door, but she realized that even that might not be enough to stop Kirei Kotomine. He contained within him far more self-assurance and silent power than she had realized, and he might just deflect the projectile. And then what? She knew that he would either dismiss or neuter her then with his Command Seals, if only for the fun of watching her suffer. Maybe he would even force the activation of her hidden Noble Phantasm.

She shuddered.

No, maybe there really was nothing she could do other than thank God that she had survived the encounter. Both of them, really - the one with Gilgamesh, and the one with her Master - both of them were equally likely to have resulted in her death. So, why hadn't she died? Why had God spared her?

It was obvious.

God must have a special plan for her. He must have decided that Kirei Kotomine was an element of his grand design, and must as such play a part; but he cannot go unchecked. He needed a balance, a helpmate opposite him to rein in his destructiveness, without this helpmate succumbing to his force of will. Someone strong enough to withstand anything as long as she believed it served a higher purpose. An indomitable wall of steel, unable to move yet unable to be moved. One who can suffer, and never die, never be forced away from her beliefs.

Someone like Ciel.

"May thy Will be done, Master," she whispered, knowing Kirei would think she was referring to him, and not her true Master, the one to whom every Christian swore allegiance - though some refused to admit it.

"And when my Kingdom shall come," Kirei called without facing her, "you shall sit on my left hand, the executor of my Justice. Farewell, sweet Elesia, and may God shine his countenance upon you."

"Peace unto thee in thy goings and in thy comings," Ciel said.

The door slammed.

XXX

"Oh, Kirei, so lovely to see you here," Gilgamesh said, reclining on the couch in Tokiomi's parlor. Tokiomi himself was busy conferring with Risei at the Fuyuki church, and had entrusted care of his manse - and supervision of his Servant, though he referred to it only as "entertaining the King" - to his loyal disciple, Kirei Kotomine.

"The pleasure is all mine, Gilgamesh." Kirei stood stiffly in front of the couch opposite Gilgamesh.

"Come, Kirei, sit. You look like a messenger from the front lines come to a newly minted widow to tell her of her husband's demise. It's a ridiculous look for you. Sit like a man, learn from your betters, eh?"

Kirei looked at his feet. "If you insist," he said, and sat opposite the Golden Servant, crossing his legs.

"I do, Kirei, I do. I always insist, and I always, always get my way. It is truly a sublime existence, standing alone above the rabble. You should try it sometime, put a smile on that sour puss of yours."

"I appreciate the gesture, Servant, but I'm afraid my face does not feel sour. It merely... is, without affect."

"Tch." Gilgamesh sat up straight and leaned forward, his crimson eyes boring into Kirei's soul. "You know, Kirei, you have so much potential to be someone, someone more than the silly mongrels you surround yourself with. But you don't, and instead you choose to be this insufferable twat that makes me want to vomit my lungs out, that I may never breathe the same air as you. It is like you pollute the atmosphere with your ramrod straight manner, and you do not see what makes your own heart unique. Why?" he asked almost pleadingly. "Why refuse to play your part on this grand stage, a part to delight the heart of the King?"

"Gilgamesh, I... I don't know why. I don't know why I do that, I don't know what has led me to where I am now." Kirei started crying, despite himself - looking at his hands he saw that they were wet, and soon realized the water was coming from his eyes. What a curious sensation, what a curious emotion. Yet the emotion did not touch his soul. It was like a cloak he wore, and though the raiment matched the outward projection his soul needed to show, it did not mean the same thing as the tears of a man of feeling.

Kirei cursed again the lack of love in his heart, and wished his daughter were here.

Maybe she could offer insight, the answers he sought but whose void he could not begin to fathom. It was like an endless swirl, sucking his soul into it and he scrabbled to reach the rim - except there was no rim, no way out, and he had begun to crave the sensation of falling.

"It is simple, priestly cur, slave to the suffering servant. Your heart is twisted, contorted in a shape wholly unfamiliar to your fellow men. They cannot see its simple beauty, and so they shun it. They shun what must be born, what must be satisfied - and again, you participate in their cruel game! You turn your beautiful impulses that need to be directed outwards against yourself, constantly frustrating your own efforts to grow and live! Your god would be proud if he could see you like this, whipping yourself into submission to a non-existent authority."

Gilgamesh scoffed, then astralized.

As the golden sparks flowed in a river circling around Kirei, he felt the tears continue to fall from his eyes. He could no longer withstand the pain and visceral sense of lack of belonging. He had to let it all out, achieve some sort of catharsis.

He cried out, "Then teach me, Gilgamesh! Teach me what I can be, what I must be! Show me the way of the Golden King, the holy road that turns martyrs into rulers!"

He collapsed to his knees on the ground, unable to hold himself erect.

"I have served a Lord who cares not for me, who has made no special place for me in his bosom. He is eternally distant and comes not when called; and I call him so. My Father has forsaken me and..."

He felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Now, Kirei... Ah, but what shall we do with you. You beautiful, tortured soul," spoke softly the voice of Gilgamesh, like whispered words of love into his ear.

"Gilgamesh..." the tears stopped, if only for a moment.

"Kirei," the softness continued to penetrate his heart, as Kirei felt fingers caress his hair. "I will make it my personal project to *guide* you on this new path, the one for which you were destined. And once you have arrived at the end of your journey, I will mourn the end of what will have been a truly splendid battle in your soul. But first," Gilgamesh astralized and reappeared in front of Kirei, his red eyes delicate in their power, "We must answer this question, for within it is everything: What do you want?"

"I..." Kirei found the strength in himself to speak. "I want... to be free."

"Free? You are already free, you always have been."

"No, no..." Kirei shook, dry sobs wracking his body. "I am always and forever underneath, whether by my own hand or by the Father's. My Father..."

The palms Kirei had pressed against the floor, supporting his position, crumpled and his elbows folded beneath him. Gilgamesh watched as Kirei speechlessly sobbed, wishing to bring new tears from empty fonts.

A low moan.

The priest must not even have the strength left to think...

How pathetic.

And yet, the King of Heroes had finally found something in this incorrigibly ugly modern world worth fostering. A single blossom, that even in this desert of anything worthy to be called 'human' can still be nurtured. And if even one individual should water that blossom and care for it, it can grow into a mighty tree, whose seed will cover the Earth.

Gilgamesh covered the prone body with his own, feeling every movement, every quake rippling through him.

He kissed Kirei's forehead, and felt the form beneath him convulse.

Then, soft silence, and quiet breaths.

Oh, wretched clay of mine. From you I shall make a man, a creature extinct in these degenerate times.

I do fear my work will fall short of Aruru's efforts, but blame for that can safely be placed on the quality of the material.

Tch.

Moderns.

Greetings, honored readers.

Hmm, that's pretty formal.

How're y'all doin' today?

There, that's better.

Anywho, it's been quite a while since my last update to this fic. I'm afraid to look and see exactly how many months... _

Much business with... stuff. Moving, moving again, etc. etc.

Incredibly _.

On a lighter note, I've been doing a fair bit of reading. Read the first 2 books of Orson Scott Card's Homecoming series, which kinda reminds me of a Mormon version of Frank Herbert's Dune. If that makes any sense.

Additionally, I've read the Gospels, Acts, and begun Paul's Epistles. The curiosity in the New Testament ignited by my reading of Carl Jung's Red Book is being sated, and while I find the narrative parts of the NT interesting, I really loved Romans. Really excellent, mystical book. I believe it inspired the Ciel backstory I put in here.

The aural accompaniment to my writing of this chapter was primarily the Jormungand OST, which I think is quite underrated. Listening to WAVE and Alstroemeria too; Alstroemeria's song Inclusion is pure bliss, by the by.

I've been watching some Netflix series, almost entirely against my will, and to my shock and horror they're actually not bad. The Witcher is a fun series, with enough gratuitous sex to make Kinoko Nasu blush, and that is a *very* hard thing to do. (Obligatory "that's what she said.")

Last season of Supergirl was quite interesting. I think my favourite character was Ben Lockwood, though I did get a special sort of joy watching Jon Cryer play [REDACTED DUE TO SPOILERS]. Bear in mind, I am primarily familiar with Mr. Cryer from Two and a Half Men, so... heheh. Lovely contrast.

In terms of anime: I've been watching the FGO Babylonia series, and enjoying it very much. I haven't played a minute of FGO in my life, but this is some good Nasu writing and philosophy. Plus there's GILLLL, ENKIDUUUU, ISHTARRR~

And, like... Mashu, I guess.

I do love me some Mesopotamian Fates.

Rewatching School Days is always fun. A nice AMV I found with Taylor Swift's Teardrops on My Guitar (a nostalgically favourite song, but that's a story for another time); feel free to search for it on the tube of you.

Finally, I've been watching Bungo Stray Dogs too. Fun show, but I want to reserve judgment until I finish the first season (currently about halfway through). I do love Dazai tho.

Hope to write and publish a bit more in the coming months, for as I make significant transitions in my life, I need something to keep me grounded, and fiction is exactly that. Reading it, writing it... gives fulfillment to my soul irrespective of the quality of my work (I do hope it's good though).

To paraphrase Orson Scott Card, I know intellectually that there are people who read as little as they possibly can. But my heart can't understand that.

All y'all enjoy the New Year!