Disclaimer: First Chapter
Story Start!
"Thank you very much sir!"
"Thank you Master!"
"No problem, now get to work." Naruto stated as he put down his Guild Stamp, having placed the guild crest on two new members to the guild.
Anon 2, and Female Anon 1.
Workers who had no faces or names, but joined the guild with the bare minimum amount of magic to become mages. Well, they had names, but they weren't going to be known by those names at the guild itself due to either wanting to keep the identities secret, or not being strong enough to have earned active spaces in the guild.
It was also a way to deter people from joining the guild for lewd reasons.
Thus, there were requirements to join the guild as a mage, or as a worker.
"... Why are they still wearing their masks?" Carla asked Naruto when she noticed the trusted Anon 2 going to work and joining Yukino. He had his guild mark on the palm of his hand, and he was wearing the Anon Uniform of a Mask over his head, and black pants... and sandles, and that was it. The woman was wearing a black bikini top in addition to the black pants, since she had breasts that needed to be covered as well.
Naruto placed an application in front of Carla.
"We've been active as a guild for over 4 months now... and we only ever recruited you and Wendy, Yukino, Sting and Lector, and Kagura... 4 months, and only that number of people. Why do you think that is?" Naruto asked Carla.
"... Because you make porn, and nobody... wait..." Carla frowned.
They made porn.
She was pretty sure that every teenage boy in the country would give their arms to join the guild if it meant sex with models, so it was strange that they had so few applicants for the guild. Naruto showed a magazine to Carla, and he flipped through it before he showed her Page 19 of one of the issues.
Lewd Gods Recruitment
Mage Guild Recruit Requirements: Rare Magic, 4 Years Experience with Magic, Moderate to High Levels of Magic, and Willingness to Fight a Dragon Slayer in combat.
Alternate Method: 3 Months Experience working as a Model or Employee for Lewd Gods, The Ability to Pass a Written Exam, Willing to Wear a Uniform at All Times
"The reason we don't get more recruits, is that most people know they can't fulfill the first way to enter the guild, and the alternate method means that you need to submit an application or be recruited for a photoshoot." Naruto didn't want everyone in the country just applying so they could fuck people, so he made sure to post up and make it well known what you needed to do to enter. For most mages, while they wouldn't NEED to fight a dragon slayer, the fact remained that they needed to be willing to fight one.
Kagura didn't know about the requirements, but he didn't need to test her because he could tell she fit all the conditions, the same with Sting. Both of them already fit all the conditions for joining the guild, so there was no reason to test them at all.
"The Anon Squad of Lewd Gods, those who didn't fit the conditions for a Mage Position in the guild, but DO fit the conditions for an Anon position." Naruto was expanding the guild with only qualified members who could pull their own weight.
This wasn't Fairy Tail that accepted anyone who wanted to join.
They were Lewd Gods, and they weren't JUST a Mage Guild, they were also a business. Since they were a business, they needed to be more selective with who was able to join them. He didn't tell the other guild members about recruitment methods, because there was no need for them to know. They were already guild members after all, so why bother them with tests.
"So... they have to be in uniform... at all times?"
"Yep, the Anon Squad are those who gain entry into the guild through being in the magazine. The Anons have a mystery about them. In the magazine, Anons are suppose to take the place of the readers who want to imagine themselves as the Anon... so we can't have their real identities being known. Whenever they aren't in uniform, they are required to cover their guild marks." Naruto wanted all of the anons to keep their identities an absolute secret from the public.
These people were all having sex with super models pretty much, and to avoid a scandal they needed to keep their stories a secret. Part of the reason they were getting so much popularity, was that they were making it so easy for readers to imagine themselves taking the place of the anons. Allowing them to have names could ruin the illusion, and it would just cause the anons to be hounded by other magazines for inside stories and other gossip.
"You put a lot of thought into this." Carla looked at Naruto with a raised brow.
"I'm the Guild Master, it is my job to protect those who need more protection. Another reason why the Anons need to keep their identity a secret... because they aren't strong enough to protect themselves from avid fans." Naruto mentioned another secret.
Like in the ninja world, one always needed to be aware of where danger could come from, and Naruto knew human nature and how a jealous heart could do many horrible things.
"... Huh?"
"Say a big Mirajane fan sees the guy who fucked Mirajane in the street, and he goes wild and kills Anon 2... well... Anon 2 is kind of weak as far as magic is concerned... but by keeping his identity a secret, Big Mirajane Fan 1 won't know who to target... and if Big Mirajane Fan 1 doesn't know who Anon is... and he can easily picture himself as Anon 2... he might not get jealous... and..." Naruto trailed off to let Carla think.
She thought about it.
She found the answer.
"... If they found out the man behind the mask were you or Sting, they wouldn't dare fight you... so... you openly state that guild members out of uniform are powerful, so people don't mess with them. So if they see somebody with the Lewd Gods crest... they know not to mess with them." Carla could see it.
It was also an intimidation tactic.
If everyone knew the requirements to be a mage for Lewd Gods, then they would just assume that anyone who had the guild mark visible on their body passed those requirements, and was somebody you didn't want to fight. This added a level of protection for the real mages of the guild, and kept a layer of mystery over those who hide their guild marks in public. The Anons were extra-protected by the air of mystery around them, if their guild marks were accidentally exposed when they were out of uniform, nobody would be able to tell if they had passed the first requirement.
The Mages of Lewd Gods were the unknowing body guards for the weaker members, who operated in secrecy and in the shadows. The Anons were a squad of Elite Sexual partners, who could please their partners on set, and remain unknown off set.
"You get it." Naruto grinned.
His experience with leading a ninja village really helped him build a hidden guild reputation, and added a layer of unknown. He was known for having taken down a dark guild by himself, and all of the kids in the guild were believed to have passed the super hard requirements to join. The Lewd Gods guild was feared by dark guilds based on the imaginations of those who read the requirements.
Nobody fucked with them, because most people who wanted to fuck with them were afraid of how strong they were.
"So, how hard is this written exam?" Carla asked.
"Well, it has 200 questions, and part of it is an IQ test. It is separated into 150 questions to test your IQ, and 50 questions to see what kind of personality you have. To pass, you need to score with an IQ of 120 or higher, and you need you need to give at least 30 acceptable personality answers." Naruto made the written test very difficult.
To pass the exam, you need to be very intelligent.
You needed to be intelligent enough to understand just how much following the rules of the guild would benefit you, and be smart enough to handle whatever work was assigned to you. It was also a way to make sure that somebody who was dumb as bricks couldn't join the guild, and go blabbing their mouth about guild secrets by accident. You didn't need to be a genius, but you needed to be above average to pass.
The personality test was done in a way that you needed to give at least 30/50 good answers to satisfy him.
The Pen and Paper the test was taken on was also enchanted, so that once you handed in the paper all of your personality questions would change what you wrote to what your real answer would be. That way nobody could try and lie to make themselves look good, and if a person lied on more than 10 questions, Naruto would instantly fail them. Naruto would allow some fudging of the truth, but outright lies were not acceptable.
"Wow... no wonder we don't get a lot of people looking to join... Lewd Gods has a much higher standard for wizards and other members." Carla was a little amazed at how hard it actually was to pass the test and join the guild. She could also understand why nobody came to their guild looking to start fights with them.
To the average person, the requirements for the guild seemed high, but they didn't think too much about it.
To an evil wizard, the requirements for the guild would make the guild look like a place you didn't want to pick as a target.
"Wendy, how is Kagura doing with set work?" Naruto asked Wendy as she came passing by.
"She's hard at work, she hasn't even taken a break yet... she seems really... into it." Wendy didn't know what changed, but Kagura was putting all of her efforts into hard work, even without Naruto being there. She was following instructions for set building to the T, and she was sweating buckets. It took everything Wendy had to convince her to keep herself hydrated.
She was a hard worker.
'This guy... was he a child soldier, a military general... the leader of some kind of nation... these methods might seem... normal to some people, but you can tell the subtle ways he is using intimidation tactics... he is also making sure to only accept elite members into the guild.' Carla could see that to anyone else, Naruto seemed to just be kind-hearted in how he was protecting his guild.
She saw the truth.
Naruto was sending a message to dark guilds.
Leave Us Alone, you do NOT want to fuck with my guild.
The fact that in 4 months, nobody had messed with them was enough proof to show that the dark guilds were going out of their way to avoid them, or were scared enough to not attack right away. They were building a hidden reputation with evil wizards, one that regular mages wouldn't think about.
'... The Anon Squad might not be able to fight, but the fact is, they are like the ANBU of Lewd Gods, serving the guild with their names and faces hidden... who can blend into society. I only accept the most talented sexual workers, and among those only the smartest, and most deserving of the roles can pass.' Naruto used his experience with selecting ANBU and working as the Hokage to get the Anon members of the guild taken into the guild.
Naruto let out a laugh.
The Gods brought him to this world to use his Hokage and World Saving experience to help this world, but he wasn't going to follow their plans. He was going to use that experience had to give them the biggest middle finger possible.
"Master... Kagura finished the final set." Yukino came into the guild and gave the news to Naruto.
"GREAT! We start shooting tomorrow then!"
Time for an Alien Invasion.
Chapter End!
Please Leave Me Lots of Nice Long Reviews, But No Flames Please!