Soos came back down to the others holding two statues of Chris. "We can just use these statues and paint them gold, he probably won't know the difference."
"Yeah, that's a great idea." Nick said "there's just one tiny problem..."
"What?." Millie asked raising an eyebrow.
"One, where are we going to get gold paint, and two, how are we going to explain the cast is missing!."
"We need to wake him up." Meg pointed to the doctor who was still out cold on the couch. "Anyone have any ideas?."
"Maybe just pour water on him." B said dumping a glass of water onto the time traveler, it wasn't very effective.
"Maybe you need more water." Moxie filled up the glass and did the same thing, once again, it wasn't very effective.
Chef Hatchet rolled his eyes.
"Y'all deal with this, I'll go speak to Chris." He walked down the hall to check on the host.
Chef Hatchet(confessional)
"It's been one day and the interns are already annoying me." He sighed. "At least the butler is smart...and I guess the kid to an extent."
The temple began to crumble as piece by piece it was slowly starting to fall, however the structure was big enough and had good support to withstand a little bit more time.
"Why is everything shaking?." Yachama asked holding onto the walls to keep her balance.
"I don't know!." Akainu shouted also trying to keep his balance.
"The temple's starting to fall!." Owen screamed before he started running down a corner straight into a wall. "Ow..."
"I don't want to die like this!." Ray avoided a falling pile of rocks letting out a little shriek.
Loona was running on fours, running faster than everyone else behind her until she tripped on a piece of the temple that had fallen and arrow shot out of the wall, straight at her head.
"Ahh!." She covered her head before a bullet hit the arrow, Arthur quickly leaped over the tile and helped her up.
"Come on, we gotta get out of here!." He said looking around making sure there was no other surprises for them.
"Outta the way!." Bender shoved his teammate over, a few gold coins fell out of the robot as he ran down a corner.
"I hate that damn robot." Arthur slowly got up coughing once.
"Come on, we gotta move!." Wolverine ran past him quickly turning down the same path Bender went down followed by Debbie, Alastor, Stan, Zoro and Mario who was still holding his arm, Arthur helped Loona up and two of them followed the rest of the group.
Peacemaker saw everyone run down one corner and went the other direction, he was running slower with Samus on his shoulders but he wasn't going to slow down now, he didn't have a choice, he heard a scream from behind him and Murderface was on his tail, he had a cut on his forehead that was bleeding.
"I'm going to kill you patriot, you better run!." He shouted.
And run indeed he did, even with Samus on his shoulders the man didn't want to get squished by anything falling, he quickly turned down another path, quickly positioned the bounty hunter so he was carrying her with one shoulder, using his free arm to take out his desert eagle and aimed it at Murderface.
"I'll shoot you where you stand!."
Murderface didn't seem fazed and kept running after them, avoiding falling bits and pieces of the temple that landed in the sand.
Rick climbed up the hill and found Bob and Deadpool still arguing.
"What are you doing you complete imbecile!." Bob shouted at the mercenary.
"Cheating is one thing but taking out the other team by a falling boulder is where I draw the line!."
"Oh please, how many people have you cut up with those sharpened knives of yours?." Bob shouted back
"One, these are katanas and second, too many to count!." Deadpool held up two fingers.
"Will you two idiots shut up!." Rick huffed as he got to the top. "Look, we got them outside, that's what he wanted right?."
"Yes but they are just going to waltz right back inside!." Bob pointed to the entrance of the cave.
Someone hearing this dropped down, landing in front of them.
"Is it taken care of?." Sephiroth asked the sideshow who nodded.
"They ran out of this cave like bats out of hell, no thanks to dumbpool." He pointed to Deadpool with his thumb.
"Okay Sephy look, I get us trying to make sure they can't stop us from leaving with the statue, but crushing them with a boulder?."
within a second the half Angel gripped the anti-hero by the throat and hoisted him over the edge of the cliff.
"Do not call me Sephy!." Sephiroth glares at him. "And second, I don't care what you think, if you don't like what I say, or what I do, you can leave the alliance, but if you choose that...you will only have yourself to blame when the inevitable happens, understand!."
Deadpool slowly nodded and he was tossed back onto the cliff and slowly got to his feet.
"Now, we need to find the rest of OUR team, and get back to Chris."
"In case you didn't realize fearless leader, we still need the-URRP-statue!-" Rick belched.
"Don't piss yourself old man." The half Angel pulled out the statue which started glowing in the light. "It's taken care of, now, move!." He hopped down the rocks landing on his feet and started walking, the other three following him, however Bob felt a pain in his leg, Max kicked him right where the ankle bracelet was.
"Yeah, you fucking palm tree looking bitch, how's that feel!." He laughed, Bob got up and grabbed him by the back of his hoodie, putting him against the walls of the rocky cave and jamming the machete into his hood, pinging him to the walls.
"HEY!. GET ME DOWN!." He shouted at Bob who smiled and walked away humming a tune.
Bob(confessional)
"Was it wrong leaving that insufferable little dwarf there?. No, for I don't feel one ounce of remorse." Bob ran a hand through his hair.
Back in the temple of doom, everyone was running for their lives, trying remember how to get-
"OUT, WE GOT TO GET OUT!!-" Owen screamed before running into a wall several times trying to break through it.
"We just gotta find a way out of here." Pumrya was looking at the walls, trying to see if any of them looked off
"which way should we go?." Marceline asked looking over at DJ
"Whatever way gets us out of here fastest!." He screamed as he ran around in circles, shaking the pyramid a bit.
"DJ calm down!." Marceline said.
"ITS NOT LIKE SOMEONE IS GOING TO BURST DOWN THE WALLS AND RESCUE US!-" he shouted before the walls came down and people ran by them.
"We gotta move!." Mac shouted, everyone now running behind them.
"Move faster!." Owen shouted, he was easily the slowest.
On the island, Sephy, Rick, Deadpool and Bob came out of the caves, Sephiroth had the statue in his right hand.
"You don't tell me what to do you fucking Jack Sparrow wannabe!." They heard Verosika shout at Zeke who was still digging.
"Maybe if you'd get yer hands dirty, we could've found the treasure right now!." Zeke continued digging.
"Enough!." Sephirtoh shouted, he held the statue to the sun so everyone can see. "I have the statue, so quit your whining and get on the boat."
Bayonetta was dragging along the two Charlies in the sand. "What's the plan?."
"We are getting off of this island it seems." Zeke said.
"But what about the others?-" Charlie (I) asked. "We need to find them and make sure they are alright-"
"Yeah, in fact." Oscar looked around. "Has anyone seen the angry kid-"
"I said get in the boat, not ask stupid questions." Sephiroth walked towards the boat and the rest of the weirdos followed him while Bayonetta continued dragging the Charlies.
"We can't just leave them!." Charlie (R) said as she was helped into the boat by Bob and The Nomad
"What about us!?." Rick shouted to the team in the boat, pointing to Deadpool.
"Come along, you've already lost." Bayonetta helped the two of them on the boat which was turned around and started heading back for camp wawanakwa.
The Weirdos boat pulled up to the docks and Chris looked out to the shore.
"Here's the statue." Miu handed the host the statue but he was still looking out into the ocean.
"...Where's the other team?."
"What do you mean?." Oscar asked.
"Where are the maniacs, come to think of it, you guys are also missing some team members-"
"Is that a problem?." Sephirtoh folded his arms.
"Yea, I need everyone back here for my show, what happened to them?."
"Their boat got destroyed, they all washed up on shore, split up and disappeared on the island-" Johnny adjusted his shades whilst his arm was around Verosika.
"And you just left them on boney island!."
The Weirdos didn't know how to respond, all of them looking at Sephiroth.
"So?."
"So, it means they could be in danger, which is good for ratings, but they still need to be brought back here."
"Alright, so go get them." The half Angel started walking up the docks.
"Alright, get back in the boat" He responded making him stop walking.
"You are not sending me back to get those idiots, I couldn't give two shits about any of them-"
"Well look at it this way, if you don't have everyone on your team back here, I can't exactly get you home now can I."
"He makes a good point-" Rodney nodded before being shoved into the water by the half Angel.
"Hey!." Charlie (I) looked at Sephiroth. "That wasn't nice!-"
"Nice?." He slowly turned his head to her. "You think niceness gets you far in this sort of game?. You think niceness is going to get you the prize money?." He stormed towards her, however Peacock got in front of him.
"If you want to go home then why don't you go them yourself."
Sephiroth looked at the rest of the weirdos, each of them backing away, he slowly looked at his teammates.
"My team is coming with me-"
"I'm your dreams." Verosika scoffed. "I'm not going back there, if you need me, I'll be in the mess hall, there's gotta be some booze there."
"What?." The half angel looked at his team.
"Sorry, but I need a break." Bayonetta also walked back.
"Yo me, I got a fun prank we can do." Deadpool (I) looked over at the other Deadpool.
"Sign me up!." Both Deadpools ran off down to the beach.
"I shall assist you." Bob gave a bow to the half Angel who nodded.
"Good..."
He then said nothing else, got in the front of the boat while Bob got on the back and started it up before heading back to Boney island, Sephirtoh muttering several words describing everyone on his team.
On paradise island, the interns were trying to find a way to wake up Dr. Kramer who was still unconscious.
"It's not working." Soos was waving a corn dog in the face of the doctor before eating said corn dog. "What are we gonna do?."
"I don't know, does anyone have any ideas?." Moxie asked, looking around at the other interns, nobody responded before Wadsworth left the room.
"I'm guessing that's a no..."
Back in the temple everyone was running for their lives as it kept falling apart.
"This is insane!." Meggy jumped over a fallen rock. "Why did taking the statue make the temple fall!?."
"Haven't you seen any Indiana Jones movie!." Stan ran ahead of her turning down a pathway. "This way!."
Everyone followed him down the pathway, however stopped once they saw the edge of a pit, waiting down below was a bunch of crocodiles in the muddy water.
"How are we going to get to the other side?." Mario asked, looking down at the crocodiles who licked their chops at the sight of him.
"AHHH!." DJ shouted seeing the crocodiles down below.
"Maybe we can swing across." Silver pointed to a pointy rock just in the middle of the canyon. "Anyone got any rope?."
"Who has a damn rope at this time?." Wolverine asked before Arthur pulled out his lasso. "Oh, he's got a rope."
The cowboy swung the lasso around a few times before tossing it at the rock, it was just far enough to reach it and wrap around it.
"Way to go." Mario clapped.
"Grab on." Arthur nodded, everyone grabbed on forming a sort of conga line as they slowly moved to the edge.
"You think this rope will support us?." Marceline asked holding onto Meggy's shoulders.
"Only one way to find out." She replied.
Arthur swung like Tarzan would and everyone lowered into the middle just below the crocodiles who tried to grab them with their jaws but they missed as somehow due to some insane plot armor they all made it to the other side.
"That actually worked?." Hades asked in disbelief as Arthur pulled the lasso off the rock and put it back in his sachel.
"That was brilliant." Bond patted the cowboy on the back. "How did you know it would hold all of our weight?."
"I didn't, in fact I thought we all were going to be alligator food five seconds ago."
"But we survived." Loona smiled. "Thanks to you."
"Don't thank me yet, we still gotta get out of this death trap." The cowboy looked up a the ceiling which slowly started beginning to fall. "Come on, this way!." He lead everyone down another pathway.
Peacemaker was leaping over fallen rocks and bones, still shooting at Murderface who was catching up to him.
"That the best you got, tiny bullets won't stop me from skinning you!-"
The patriot kicked a bone at him and it nailed him right in the nose, giving him some time to run and hide behind a pillar, he placed Samus down on a rock and put the statue in her hand.
"Fucking hell." He collapsed against the pillar, exhausted from all the running. "You need to lose a few pounds-"
As he looked to the left, Murderface knocked him down with the bone that was kicked into his nose and he continued kicking the patriot, who tried fighting dirty by throwing sand in his eyes, it was blocked by the bone and he was kicked in the head, making him dizzy as he started crawling in the sand.
"I've got you now!." He said as he turned him over and struck him again with the bone. "Now let's see how tough you really are." He put the bone to his neck and began chocking him, the patriot was gasping as he tried kicking his feet around, trying to free himself in anyway he can.
Sephirtoh and Bob had landed on the shores of boney island, needless to say, he was anything but happy, he stormed up the skull where Kronk and Ryu had pulled up Berndetta.
"Are you okay?." Ryu asked Bern who looked to the left and saw Sephiroth, heaving, like a rabid dog.
"YOU!." She shouted, getting up quickly.
"What do you want?." Ryu got in front of Berndetta.
"The challenge is over, your team lost...now get in the boat."
"Why should we believe you?." Kronk folded his arms, Sephiroth took out his sword and his eyes looked like he was possessed.
"I'm not telling you this again. Get. In. The. Boat."
"You're gonna have to make us." Ryu stood his ground, Sephiroth's eye closed before it opened again, a wicked grin appearing on his face. "Challenge accepted."
Bern, Kronk and Ryu were all tossed off the skull, landing in the sand with loud thuds and groans, Sephirtoh stood over them, smiling wickedly.
"Now...when I come back, you all better be in that boat...or I will break every limb in your pathetic bodies and make sure that you will never take another step in this world, or your own world." He left them groaning on the beach as he went into the Forrest to find the rest of the maniacs.
"Watch out!." Mac moved Lindsay away from a falling rock that nearly hit her in the head.
"Wow, you really do care for me Tyler-"
"He's not Tyler!." Wii Fit shouted at the blonde who raised an eyebrow.
"Okay I don't know what your deal is but this is clearly Tyler." She pointed at the boxer.
"Actually Lindsay, my name is Mac."
"Oh, you are so funny Tyler." She laughed and wrapped her arms around him, This made the trainer so mad that she crushed a rock with her bare hand.
"Get off of him!." She growled which made the blonde back away slowly.
"Come on, let's not fight, let's focus on finding a way out of here."
Samus got up and saw Murderface choking the life out of Peacemaker who was still flailing around.
"Die!." He grinned before Samus struck him down with the statue.
"Samus?- look what you did to the statue!." Peacemaker pointed at the statue that now had a large dent from how hard she hit Murderface.
"I know, I'm a fool." The bounty hunter rolled her eyes and helped him up, looking back at Murderface. "We gotta get out of here-"
"No shit, really?."
"Shut up and follow me!." She ran down a hall, Smith flipping Murderface off before following his teammate.
you two of them ran down several paths until they found a moat below, with a bunch of crocodiles.
"How the fuck are crocodiles down here!?." Smith shouted as he saw one licking its chops.
"Don't focus on them, focus on getting out of here with your life." Samus used her blaster to wrap around the same rock Arthur did. "Grab on."
The patriot wrapped his arms around her waist and the two of them swung to the other side, landing on the sand.
"Ow, my fucking back-" The Patriot groaned, he had landed on his back and was struggling to get up, the landing had knocked the wind of out him.
"careful old man." Samus landed on her feet and looked back.
"I'm forty two." The Patriot weakly got up with help from Samus who began walking foreword.
"Fucking hell, I don't know what's worse, this shit, or being in the suicide squad." Peacemaker repositioned his becon of freedom on his head.
"What's the suicide squad?." Samus looked back again putting her hands on her hips.
"A bunch of criminals who are tasked with doing a dangerous mission, almost all of them die, I was one of them that lived...until I was betrayed."
"Really?..." She slowly asked.
"Yeah, I got shot in the neck, trying to get the hard drive we needed." He walked behind her, stepping over a few bones.
Peacemaker(confessional)
"Okay...am I lying? Yes, I was tasked with destroying the drives for Amanda Waller so the world couldn't know about the giant fucking starfish that was controlling people's corpses like something out of invasion of the body snatchers...but she doesn't have to know that."
Back on the waters, Bob and Sephiroth were making their way back to boney island, the wind making the half angel's hair flow back.
"So, how will we get the others back?." Bob asked as he steered the boat to the left avoiding several rocks.
"We'll pick up the bodies, drag them to the beach, toss them in the boat, then get back to the host."
"But what happens if they wake up?."
"Then they'll get on the boat themselves."
"And if they don't?."
"They will if they know what's good for them, now, step asking questions and keep us afloat, I'm already pissed off as it is."
"Yes Lord Sephiroth." Bob gave a little salute and kept steering the boat.
Sephiroth(confessional)
"Bob is very loyal it seems...he's the only one who came with me to get the others, not even Bayonetta went with me...I might keep Bob on board, after all, loyalty pays off..."
Sideshow Bob(confessional)
"I have a simple plan, it's so diabolically genius, make a good impression with Sephiroth which will surly put me at his good side so it keeps me here longer, in case you couldn't tell, I'm not as strong as some of the other people im against, but I'm more cunning and more strategic, none of these derelicts old a candle to my superior intellect, or my charming good looks."
Back in the temple, the stars, bastards and most of the goats had been running around the temple, trying to find any exit.
"This is insane!." Ray shouted as a decent sized rock nearly fell on him.
"That's not insane, this is just a Monday for me!." Harley ran beside him, her baseball hat in hand.
"We're gonna die!." Owen shouted as he ran as fast as his legs could carry him, for a big guy, he was actually running really fast to try and keep up with the others.
"We're not going to die, we just have to believe in ourselves." Tracer smiled, trying to be supportive.
"I believe, I believe Chris is a dead man when we get out of this." Loona said looking at the overwatch agent, she stopped however and saw Arthur slowing down, he was looking around seeing everyone was present.
"Where the hell are Samus, Smith and the crazy man who had murder in his name?."
"Forget about them!." Bender said. "We gotta get outta here!-"
"Forget about them!?." Wii Fit turned her head. "Those are our teammates, if we lose them, we can't go back to Chris, not to mention Samus is someone I care about dearly!."
"Well then you can mourn her when we get back." He said before being punched by Little Mac.
"Thank you." Wii Fit smiles at the boxer who nodded.
"Anytime."
the falling rocks began multiplying and people had to duck and cover.
"Are you sure we can go back for them?." Frollo asked, covering his head.
"Yeah, why don't we just stay and here, and if any lady wants to you know..." JFK looked at the females.
"There are more important things than sex." Bond said. "We need to go back and find them."
"If we don't then they'll surely die." Damien said.
"So what, we're just gonna go back into that madness and try to find them!?." Frollo responded. "That's suicide!."
"Well, I'm going to find them because I care about them." Wii Fit began walking back.
"I'm coming with you." Mac joined her, making the trainer smile and blush.
"I'll come with Tyler." Lindsay said hugging Mac making Wii Fit's smile fade.
"I'm coming as well." Meggy began walking.
"Let's-a-go." Mario also followed them.
"You sure you can go with your arm, red?." Meggy looked at the plumber who nodded.
"I've been fighting a giant fire breathing dragon for-a-years, what's-a-few rocks and a broken arm gonna do?." He smiled, still holding his right arm in the makeshift sling.
"Screw it." Harley put her bat over her shoulder. "I've been crazy all my life, if I can deal with...Him...I can deal with going into some temple and finding a few corpses."
"If she's in, I'm coming as well." Jinx stood next to Harley.
"You are all insane!." Frollo looked at the ones going back. "We need to find a way out, forget them, and the cursed statue, we can make it!."
"Speaking of which." Wendy pointed out. "Where is the statue?."
Everyone began looking around again before Arthur realized.
"One of them has it...it seems we gotta go back, even if we don't want to." He checked his revolver, six bullets loaded in the chamber.
"He's right..." Loona nodded. "Looks like we have to find them either way." She followed the others down the pathway.
"Let's hope they are still alive when we find them." DJ began shaking, hoping they weren't dead.
Samus and Peacemaker were walking down another corridor, both were exhausted and were breathing heavily.
"Fuck me...this is hell."
"Keep pushing Smith, we have to get out of here." Samus walked further, passing a skull. "Wait..." she said looking at the skull.
"We've been going in circles, for fucks sake!." Peacemaker chucked the skull at the wall, however, one of the bricks slide in further and a clicking noise was heard.
A hidden passage opened up which seemed to be the outside, the moon shining through the passage.
"I found us a way out." He said over to Samus who walked over to see the passage.
"Or a death trap." She pointed to a few skeletons in the sand along with some cobwebs on them.
"Oh please...we'll be fine." The Patriot walked into the passenge and stood around for five seconds. "See there's nothing wrong at all-" He said turning around to see her, he saw the bounty hunter's eyes widen and slowly turned his head, there were eight large red eyes looking back at him. "...This is either a big fucking spider...or eight tiny spiders..." He slowly backed away, before a large spider nearly twice the size of him leaped at the Patriot who pulled out his desert eagle and shot three times at the spider which did little next to nothing, before the spider attacked him, something wrapped around his legs and began pulling him down the passageway, Samus turned the whip function of her blaster on and started dragging the Patriot through the sand.
"I told you it was a death trap!." She scolded.
"JUST RUN AND DONT STOP!!!-" He shouted back, looking back he saw the giant spider chasing them and he started to shoot at it again, before his gun clicked.
"Next time I'll pack more bullets-"
"If there is a next time!." Samus continued running, dragging him behind her, getting sand on his uniform and on his becon of freedom.
The rain came pouring down as Sephirtoh and Sideshow Bob landed on Boney Island once again.
"We have arrived." Bob said, stepping onto the beach, Sephiroth following him.
"Those idiots, refusing MY order, making ME go, who do they think they are!?."
"Obviously there's a reason for them not coming along, they are afraid of you, you are showing them too much aggression and that could get you voted out, if they all choose to vote for you-"
"In case you don't remember, we have nearly half the team in the alliance, along with Arthur-"
"Nearly half of the team, nearly, that means you could still be outvoted and Arthur isn't on our team so I don't see how he could possibly help..."
"I've still got Bayonetta, Deadpool, Rick and you on my side, that's a strong group-"
"Bayonetta has the wits and she's an old colleague of yours from that fighting game-"
"Smash-"
"Right, Rick can be very difficult to control especially when he's drinking, but he does posses some potential, you have the brawn, I have the brain...what does that superhero bring to the table exactly?."
Sephiroth was about to speak before he slowly thought about the past few challenges.
"Aside from pop culture references and his unpredictable personality, he brings nothing to the alliance...and I've told you about the other alliance with the school girl and the two crazy people, I don't trust him as far as I could throw him-"
"Which wouldn't be that far with those noodle arms-"
"What I lack in physicality I make up for in Intelligence."
"use that intelligence more, it might keep you around...I've been thinking about Catalina and her crew, I'm thinking there's a way to light a fire to the powderkeg, then watch it explode...and I have just the man for the job." Sephiroth smirked as he walked into the forest ahead of Bob.
Sephiroth began cutting the trees down with his sword, looking for the pit trap. "Where the hell is it!?. I know it's here somewhere!?."
"It's by the cave, where max is being kept."
"What do you mean by being kept?."
"Oh, the child was acting like...someone I know" Bob paused before continuing "So I decided to let him hang out for a while in the cave."
"Great, you get the boy and leave the rest to me." The half angel turned around and saw the entrance to the cave, just by the door was the pit trap, he got and evil smirk on his face as he slowly walked towards it.
"Hello friends...comfortable down there?." He grinned.
"I swear I will destroy you when I get out of this!." Catalina screamed at the half angel, making his smirk widen.
"Oh Id like to see you try..." He pointed his sword at her neck. "But right now, I need you all to get out of there so we can we go back to our universe and get on with our lives."
"Well in case you couldn't tell." Waluigi groaned. "We can't get out because of how deep you dig this trap!."
Sephiroth slowly bent down and put a hand down. "Then take my hand..."
"Why should we trust you?." Gwen looked up at him. "You put us here-"
"Because I'm the only person that can get you out, everyone else is back on the island, so either take my hand or I'm heading back myself."
"Never!." Catalina barked at the half angel, refusing his help, Sephiroth pulled his hand away and ran it through his hair.
"Then I wish you all the best of luck." He started walking away, a grin on his face still as he leaned against a tree away from the trap.
Sephiroth(Confessional)
"Chris did say to bring them back yes, but he didn't say what condition they had to be in. I think I'll play the waiting game and think about future plans...and future targets." He grinned.
"Hello?." Max shouted his voice echoed. "Hello!?." He shouted louder. "Did you all seriously fucking leave me on this goddamn island!!!." He shouted to no response, he hung his head down but saw two big shoes, he looked up and saw Bob with a smirk on his face.
"Helloooo...Max..." Bob smiled but stopped. "Ugh, it doesn't have the same ring to it. Maybe I need to put more emphasis on the hello part."
"YOU!?." Max shouted at the sideshow. "GET ME THE FUCK DOWN FROM HERE!?."
"Now why would I do that?." Bob asked, smiling.
"Because you will do what I say, now get me down!." Max shouted again, trying to free himself from the machete Bob had pinned to the wall.
"Is that so?." Bob sat on a rock and crossed one leg over the other. "Well child, you must be sorely mistaken, because I'm not going to do anything, in fact, I might as well sing some of those tunes you liked-"
"You better fucking not!-"
"Now playing The entire H.M.S. Pinafore in one go." Bob began to sing, making Max scream.
Back in the temple, the new suicide squad was running around trying to find Samus, Smith and Murderface, as well as the statue so the goats can go home.
"Guys!." Meggy called out. "Where are you!?."
"Samus!." Wii Fit called out. "Can you hear me!?."
"Scream if you can hear us!." Loona shouted, flipping over rocks, looking for them.
Little Mac was flipping over more rocks in hope of clearing the way.
"Come on Tyler, you can do it!." Lindsay cheered, making Wii Fit growl.
"For the last time, he's not this Tyler, his name is Mac, how many times to I have to say it!." She shouted, making the temple shake a little, Arthur covered her mouth.
"Be quiet, unless you won't all of us to be buried under here."
"Where the hell could they be!?." Wolverine dug his claws into the rocks and began to tunnel his way past them. "They gotta be somewhere close!."
Just like he said, two loud screams could be heard from another side of the pyramid.
"They must be somewhere either on the left of right." Harley took her bat and began smashing away at the walls.
"Good idea." Jinx also began destroying the walls alongside Harley.
"Do you want this damn place to come down on us!?." Frollo shouted before Harley pointed her bat at him.
"Less talking, more smashing!."
"Can do." JFK smirked and slicked his hair back before walking over to the jester and put and arm around her.
"Back up or I'll rearrange your face."
"Kinky!." He smirked before Belle low blowed the clone making him fall to the sand, holding his jewels.
"Thanks." Harley nodded
"Don't mention it." Belle smirked and stared smashing through the wall.
Belle(confessional)
"Annoying in our world, annoying in this world, why am I not surprised..."The gamer folded her arms and rolled her eyes.
"Come on you top hat wearing fuck." Blitzo slapped the time traveler in the face, nothing happened.
"Sir, maybe there's another way we can try to wake him without using force." Moxie suggested, putting an arm on his boss's shoulder.
"Yeah, does anyone know if likes a drink?." Millie asked.
"I don't think so." Nick sighed, putting his hands on his hips. "If we can't get them back, Chris is going to kill us!."
"Relax dude, he's not going to kill us-" Soos patted him on the back before everyone heard the host scream and throw an entire couch out of a window.
"Okay maybe he'll probably kill is." Soos looked at the now broken couch that landed on the sand, shattering on impact.
"Well we tried." Rukas put his hands in his pockets before sleeping on a recliner chair.
"Make way." Wadsworth came from down the hall, carrying a bottle of Rum.
"Where did you get that?." Moxie asked.
"I've served this to the man before he became unconscious." The butler opened the bottle and poured some of it into a tiny shot glass. "Maybe it will wake him up."
"What kind of sense does that make!." Blitzo shouted at the Butler who walked past the imp and put the glass up to the nose of Dr. Kramer, his eyes slowly opened before looking around.
"Where am I?." He sat up, before being grabbed by Blitzo.
"You need to bring everyone back here now!." The I.M.P boss shouted, shaking the time traveler.
"What?...oh right, those poor saps who were sent on a quest around the multiverse to find two golden statues."
"Yes, now you have to bring them back!." Nick shouted.
"I will, once they have the statues returned to the hosts."
"How do you know they will return them." Moxie scratched his head, looking at Kramer.
"I have my ways dear boy, you'll have the trust me."
The giant spider was chasing Samus and Smith down the temple halls, Samus stopping once she reached a dead end.
"No, no, no, no, no, no." She said, banging on the wall, trying to find anything that could move.
"Welp...we're fucked." Smith looked behind him and saw the spider catching up. "Or are we?." He quickly pulled out his tomahawk and threw it at the spider, missing. "...Shit."
The spider leaped at them and both of them let out a huge scream before the spider let out a growl and it started bleeding, it turned and saw Murderface holding the tomahawk that the patriot had and he started hacking away at the giant spider, getting blood on himself, Samus and Smith, the spider screamed before the final blow was dealt to the head and it fell, Murderface walked over the body, seeing both of them and grinning.
"If anything is taking the two of you out, it's going to be me." He raised the tomahawk up, ready to strike before an orange whip took it out of his hands, Samus now held Peacemaker's tomahawk.
"Nice one." Smith nodded.
"Shut it..." The bounty hunter said, breathing heavily. "Look, I know none of us like eachother...but if we want to live and be able to see the sun again...we must work together to find the others and get the hell out of here-"
"Why?. The left us all down here!." Murderface shouted
"I lead them away so you couldn't harm them you fucking pyscho." Peacemaker also shouted.
"At least I'm not some idiot with a toilet seat on his head-"
"It's a becon of freedom!-"
"SHUT UP, BOTH OF YOU!." Samus shouted loudly, making both men stop talking. "I don't know about you two, but I want to live, I don't care how much you two want to rip each other's lungs out, we need to work together!."
"And what if we refuse-" Murderface said before Samus pulled out Smith's desert eagle, aimed at him.
"I will end you both here and now."
"How the hell did you get my gun-"
"You dropped it when you threw your tomahawk." She said, looking at the patriot. "Now, can you two shake hands and work together, for once!."
Smith and Murderface both looked at each other, Murderface sighed and walked over to the Patriot who was now on his feet.
"Fine." He extend his hand. "Just so I never have to see either of you again."
"I can agree with that." The patriot shook his hand, Samus tossed back his gun and tomahawk.
"Good...now, let's get started." She began kicking away at one of the walls.
"You do realize that the gun had no bullets in it right?." Peacemaker walked over to the bounty hunter and whispered.
"I know, but he didn't." She kicked the walls again. "Now, start smashing."
"Yes mam." Smith started slashing away at the walls with his sword that he equipped from his gun belt.
"You had that the whole time!?."
"Oh...yeah..." he looked at the sword. "Right..."
"So, how is the Chris in your world?." Charlie (I) asked the other Charlie.
"Well...he's kind of obsessed with himself... like a lot." Charlie (R) replied. "It's kind of creepy."
"At least we don't have to worry about that white haired emo guy after this is down." Gronk rubbed the back of his head.
"Who, Sephiroth?." Charlie (R) raised an eyebrow.
"That man isn't right in the head, he nearly killed Bern." Ryu sat down next to Gronk. "I'd watch yourself around him, the guy seems to only care about himself without regard for others."
"Sounds a like DIO." Charlie (I) looked at both of them, a little worried.
"Who's DIO?." Charlie (R) asked curiously.
"Some vampire from the world of JOJO, he was very scheming and conniving." Cinder rolled her eyes. "He was an intern last season...now I don't know where he is."
"But this Sephirtoh guy reminds me a lot of him...so keep your distance from him." Charlie (I) put a hand on her shoulder, looking into her eyes. (The other Charlie)
"Okay...I'll keep and eye out for him." She nodded, before a loud boom was heard.
"The hell was that!?." Rick came out of the mess hall, looking around.
Everyone saw the two Deadpools were lighting off fireworks where Chris was sleeping, the sounds of them going off woke the host up.
"Can't a host get his beauty sleep around here!?." He shouted at the two Deadpools who were high fiving.
Meanwhile Verosika was laying in a chair while Johnny was fanning her.
"This heat is too much...go faster!." She commanded.
"I'm trying Miss Mayday!." The movie star began fanning faster, somone noticed and walked over, taking off her glasses.
"What on earth are you doing?." Bayonetta asked.
"None of your business wicked witch, go away." Verosika gave her the middle finger and continued to lie back in the chair. "I SAID FAN FASTER!." She shouted at Johnny who nodded and tried to cool her down, Bayonetta put a hand on her chin and walked away, seeing a tiny bit of pink in Johnny's eyes.
Bayonetta(confessional)
"Interesting...seems the demon popstar has the cage fighter wrapped around her finger...I'll tell Sephiroth as soon as he gets back..." She nodded, looking around at the confessional. "You know, this confessional is actually nicer than the one on our island."
Charlie(R) (Confessional)
"Seems I can't trust Sephiroth according to Gronk, Ryu and myself...I'll need to keep my on him and see how he plays the game...I wonder how he's doing back on boney island, but a bigger question, why did Bob go with him?." She pondered.
"To be or not to be, weather tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of-" Bob began quoting Shakespeare only for Max to scream and try to get unstuck but the machete kept him firmly pinned against the rock.
"STOP, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP!." He shouted.
"I'll stop when my friend gets done freeing the others." Bob looked at max and was about to start over before Sephirtoh walked into the cave. "We're done...let's go."
"Ugh, fucking finally, what took you so damn long!." Max shouted at the half angel. "And what's with the emo look?-"
Sephiroth cut the boy down and he fell on his bum, taking the machete off the rock, he handed it to Bob and picked the child up by hood.
"HEY, PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN!."
"The language on this one." He looked over at the sideshow who nodded.
"Did you parents teach you that vocabulary, Bart?."
"Who the hell is Bart!?." Max shouted.
"Oh, an old pal of mine back in Springfield, I think you two would get along...very well." Bob have a sinister smirk to the child who look horrified at the sideshow who still held the Machete up to him before laughing.
The two of them walked outside and everyone else was out of the pit trapped all glaring at Sephirtoh.
"When we get back Angel boy, your ass is on the chopping block." Trevor slid his index finger across his throat, conveniently along his neck tattoo with read "Cut here."
"Oh, I'm so scared." Sephirtoh smirked. "Your threats means nothing to me, so don't bother trying to take me down."
"His threats may mean nothing but I mean every word when I'm saying I'm going to get you eliminated you puta." Catalina glares at him, Trevor, Toko and Koas were at her side.
"Intresting..." Bob smirked. "Now we know who to pick off..."
"What do you mean, "we" know?." Toko growled looking the sideshow who smirked.
"Just prepare for the storm to approach and when it does, you four will be at the forefront of it." Sephirtoh laughed loudly, making a lightning bolt strike the beach.
"Okay...what is going on?." Gwen looked at both sides confused.
"Yeah, this is giving Waluigi a big headache." Waluigi rubbed his temple and groaned.
"Nothing that concerns you two." Sephirtoh looked at the two of them. "Now..." he tossed Max at them, Waluigi catching the child. "Get in the boat, or feel the wrath of despair!."
Lightning struck again and the three of them all ran to the boat, hopping into it.
"This isn't over." Catalina stormed over to the boat, the three of the alliance members following her.
"Oh believe me...it's only getting started." Sephirtoh gave a grin that would make the likes of the devil himself blush.
Back in the Pyarmids, Samus, Murderface and Peacemaker successfully broke down a wall, the three of them began moving until the ran into another.
"Great, another wall." Murderface groaned and began hitting it. "We're never getting out of here."
"The others will find us, I've still got the statue." Samus held up the dented statue of the host.
"Good job." Smith nodded at the bounty hunter and began swinging his sword at the wall, however it slowly began to come down and the three off them backed up, a claw was poking out until a head popped out from the rubble.
"I found them!." Wolverine shouted, turning his head back.
"Pull them up!." Loona shouted from the other side.
"Hurry up, we don't have all day." Hades shouted.
One by one Wolverine pulled Samus, Smith and Murderface out of the hole, all three of them covered with blood and dust.
"SAMUS!." Wii Fit hugged her friend tightly, not caring about the blood on her friend's zero suit.
"It's good to see you too." She smiled, hugging her friend back.
"I knew we'd find you." Frollo lied.
"No thanks to you." Belle rolled her eyes, folding her eyes.
"Please tell me you have the statue." Damien put his staff away.
"We do, and rest assured." Smith held the statue in his hand. "We can now get the hell out of this mess."
"Thank goodness, I was going insane in here." Hades groaned, he leaned on the wall, which made a block move inward and the temple began shaking.
"WHAT DID YOU DO!?." Everyone shouted at Hades who put his hands up, all of a sudden, a giant boulder began rolling down the pathway.
"MAMA MIA!." Mario shouted, being the first to spot the boulder.
"FUCKING RUN!." Harley shouted, booking it as fast as she could, everyone began following her.
"Chris is so dead for this!." Belle shouted.
"That's if we aren't turned into pressed meat first!." Arthur looked back at the boulder.
"Mmm...pressed meats." Owen licked his lips.
While running, Tracer blipped past everyone and looked up, she saw a sign with an arrow, point down to the left, it appeared out of the thin air like something magic had happened. "Should we follow it!?." She looked back.
"We don't have much of a choice!." Lightning ran in front of her, turning left, everyone followed the jock and the sign led to a portal, everyone ran through it, and was shot out of it, landing on top of eachother, everyone groaned, before looking around, the sky was still dark but the moon was out.
"WE'RE ALIVE!." Frollo shouted. "WE'RE ALL ALIVE!."
"WAHOO!." Mario raised his non broken arm, smiling.
"Now where are we?." Max asked looking around.
Everyone heard a train whistle blow.
"OH CRAP!." Wendy shouted. "We have to get the statue back to Chris!."
Everyone looked around for the statue.
"Where is it!?." Scott shouted, everyone saw Bender looking at it.
"Shiny..." he picked it up and began bending it, making the already dented statue look like a crumbled up wrapper.
"NO!." All the goats shouted while Bender continued bending it.
"What?." Bender asked.
"You idiot, we needed that to be perfect!." Harley held up her bat.
"At least we're all alive." Meggy said, getting out from under the pile of people.
"Agreed, let's get the statue back to Chris, he probably won't be too mad, right?." Tracer asked, looking at her teammates.
"...We are so fucked." Peacemaker looked at the crumbled up statue in the hands of Bender.
The boat was moving as fast as it could, Sephiroth was holding onto the statue, just in the distance he could see camp wawanakwa.
"Hurry up!." He shouted.
"I'm trying, the engine isn't working." Bob was hitting the engine. "Blasted thing, work!."
"Let's hope we can at least make it back." Gwen looked at the engine as well, suddenly, as if like someone heard them, the engine fixed itself and made the boat go even faster, everyone held on for their lives as it crashed onto the beach.
"Ten points!." The two Deadpool's held up ten signs.
"What happened to you guys?." Lobo walked up to them, raising an eyebrow.
"Please tell me you have the statue, I can't take this heat." Verosika groaned.
"Where is Chris." Sephiroth rose up, looking pissed.
Chris was sitting in his master bedroom, crying while eating an entire tub of ice cream.
"Come on, they'll be other statue." Chef said looking at the mess his boss/friend had made of his room.
"I don't want other statues, I want those statues back, they captured my likeness really well!." He continued to eat the ice cream from the tub while the cook just sighed.
There was a knock on the door. "Go away, leave me be!." Chris shouted, tossing the ice cream tub at the door, the door opened and Wadsworth was standing in the doorway, looking around the room.
"Sir...they have the statues."
The host's tears stopped flowing, he leaped out of the bed and ran down the halls like a man possessed. "Where are they!?." He shouted.
"Mr. Kramer is on the beach, holding the two portals open to try and retrieve the cast-"
The host ran down the steps and past the other interns.
"Hey sir, they've got the statues-" Moxie said before the host shoved him into Millie.
"MOVE!." He ran out of the doors and found Dr. Kramer, working his magic. "Where are they!?. Where are they!?."
"...Saying their goodbyes." The Doctor responded.
At the train, Samus handed the statue to Chris who inspected it.
"Well...I don't know how your Chris will react to his statue being crumpled like a soda can, but you brought it back, and since you handed it to me Samus, that means the Bloody Bastards win the challenge!."
The Bastards began to cheer while the Stars pouted.
"Relax." Chris smirked. "Nobody is going home tonight, after all, I think you've all had enough fun for one day, plus there's another team from a different universe here, if I want to kick someone of, I want you guys to do it."
"I guess that makes sense..." Marceline scratched her head confused.
"Now, say your goodbyes to the goats, probably for good." The host handed the statue back to Samus.
"Goodbye Tyler." Lindsay sniffled while hugging Mac. "I'll miss you."
"He's not-oh forget it." Wii Fit shrugged, not wanting to tell her again.
"Goodbye Meggy." Bob nodded to her friend.
"Seeya Bob." The former inkling smiled at the rag covered rapper.
"Can you plug my SoundCloud account when you get back?-"
"No." she groaned.
"I may not like you..." Murderface walked up to Peacemaker. "But I will say, you fight pretty damn good."
Smith nodded and Saluted him. "You too, solder."
Murderface then glanced over at Samus. "Keep this man in check, mam. For your sake and his."
"Believe me, I will." She looked over At the Patriot who shrugged.
"Laides, pleasure to meet you." JFK smiled, offering a hand shake.
"Piss off." Harley shoved him away.
Arthur was smoking a cigarette and Loona came up to him.
"You dropped this..." She held the photo of Issac and Eliza up to him, he shed a single tear and took it, smiling.
"Thank you." He nodded.
"Remember what I said, you can be a good a man, you just have to do the right things, and do what you think is right." She put a hand on his shoulder.
"...I don't know if I can be forgiven..." He slowly looked down, before the wolf hugged him, catching him by surprise.
"At least try...for me, and your family..." she said, he slowly smiled, shedding another tear and hugged her back.
"I will...I will try."
Just then, a portal spawned in front of them, making everyone hold onto the train.
"Time to go!." Meggy shouted.
"Let's-a-go!." Mario held his injured arm and hopped into the portal, follow by Meggy, Belle, Tracer and Harley.
"Just one kiss...please!." Lindsay held onto Mac's leg, Wii Fit pulled her off and took the Boxer's hand, running into the portal with him.
Before Peacemaker jumped in, Murderface stabbed him in the shin. "There's a little payback for you."
"You son of a bitch!." Smith was shoved into the portal by Murderface who left.
"Come on Arthur." Samus shouted, jumping into the portal.
The cowboy looked back at Loona and nodded, tipping his hat and following his team, just before the portal closed up.
"Nice fellows." Alastor grinned. "So, who wants to talk about their experiences in the pyramid because I for one had a blast!."
Chris tosses the statue back to Sephirtoh who caught it.
"Weirdos, you've won the challenge, with help from Sephiroth."
"That's right, you're welcome." The half Angel glared at everyone on his team.
"Just leave." Gronk folded his arms.
"No, I don't wanna go!." Deadpool(R) said as Chef Hatchet pulled him away from Infinite's Deadpool.
"Text me when you get back!." Deadpool(I) held up a phone.
"I will!." The other Deadpool shouted as he was thrown into the portal.
"I can't say I enjoyed my time here." Verosika groaned. "Come on Johnny, let's ditch these idiots."
"Yes mam!." Johnny followed the popstar into the portal.
"Goodbye..." Toko waved to everyone, including Max who stood behind Waluigi.
"Just leave!." He shouted, she rolled her eyes and jumped into the Portal with Koas following her, following them were Trevor and Catalina who didn't look happy at all.
"See you dipshit." Rick drank from his flask again.
"Hey don't worry Rick, maybe MemeKing will put you in the next season of Total Drama Infinite."
"Whoopie..." he rolled his eyes. "I really hope he does." He walked through the portal, giving everyone the middle finger.
"Goodbye." Charlie (I) hugged herself, smiling. "Remember...watch out for Sephiroth."
"I will." Charlie (R) nodded, looking over at the half angel who was still pissed at everyone. "Goodbye everyone!." Charlie smiles and walked into the portal.
"You all better hope this is the last you've seen of me, otherwise I'll bring you all the ultimate despair!." He pointed at everyone and ran his index finger across his throat, holding the statue in his other hand.
"I'll see you in smash, chester!." Waluigi folded his arms and looked away from him.
"For your sake I hope I never see you again."
"Goodbye Bart 2.0." Bob petted Max on the head.
"GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!." Max shouted at the sideshow who bowed.
"Just remember, you'll remember this face for the rest of your life. I'm counting on it." He smirked as he walked into the portal, Bayonetta had to drag Sephirtoh through the portal with her in order to stop him from lashing out at the everyone.
"I'm still confused by this whole thing..." Gwen shook her head.
"Believe me, so are the readers." Deadpool winked at the camera, Chris rolled his eyes.
Back on paradise island, all the interns, Chris, and Dr. Kramer were waiting, slowly, both the goats and dingos came out of the portals, Chris began jumping up and down, happily.
"Where are the statues!?." He shouted at both teams.
"Gee, no, "are you guys okay, we were worried sick about you." None of that." Belle growled as she got up, rubbing sand off her pants.
"Come on, come on!." Chris held out his hands, Sephiroth placed his statue in his hand and walked away from his team, Bayonetta following him.
"We need to talk." She whispered in his ear.
"I'm listening." He replied, the two of them walking towards the cabins, Bob, Rick and Deadpool began to follow but Trevor held Deadpool back.
"Where the hell are you going?."
"Bathroom." Deadpool lied.
"Fine but be quick, we have urgent matters to discuss." He shoved the anti hero away and he nodded, running to the bathrooms.
"Goats, statue." Chris snapped his fingers at them, holding out his hand.
"What do we do..." Meggy whispered. "When he finds out about the statue he'll surely be angry."
"Someone give it to him..." Wii Fit whispered.
Samus sighed and walked up to the host, handing the crumbled up statue to him, she walked back to her team and turned around.
Chris looked at the statue and his face began to shake, his eyes began angry, his teeth were now gritting, he hands were clenched.
"WHO...DID...THIS!?." He pointed to the statue angrily. "This better be some sort of joke!."
"Sucks to be you." Bender laughed before Belle shoved him over. "My ass!."
"I want a name, now, who did this!?." The host stomped his foot angrily.
"Chris...maybe just-a-calm down-" Mario suggested.
"Mario, if I hear another word from you that isn't a name, I'm sending you back to the Mushroom Kingdom!." Chris glared at the plumber.
"You can't do that!." Meggy looked at the host.
"Same goes for you to squid girl!." Chris glares at her now. "Actually, same goes for all of you!." He pointed at all of the goats. "If I don't hear a name in the next ten seconds, I'm sending you all home, no second chances, no if, ands or buts, and No million dollars!."
The goats began to complain before Chris blew air horn. "ZIP IT!!!. I want a name, pronto!."
The goats were silent for a few seconds before someone spoke up.
"Bender, he broke the statue." Arthur pointed to the robot who was still lying on the ground, he wasn't lying, but Arthur felt a little bit of regret calling him out.
"I saw him crumble it up."
Chris turned to the rest of the goats and pointed at Arthur.
"Is this true?..."
"Yup." Harley folded her arms nodding.
"Absolutely." Belle nodded as well.
"Definitely." Wii Fit agreed.
"WHAT THE HELL!?." Bender shouted.
"Next time be a team player and don't break shit that we need to win the challenge." Peacemaker looked down at the robot. "But it was Bender."
"Sorry..." Tracer looked at the robot before nodding, Meggy also nodded.
"Yeah...sorry man." Mac looked at Bender.
"I want all of you to agree, Samus, Mario, come on, let's hear it." Chris folded his arms.
"...Fine, it was Bender." Samus sighed and wiped some of the blood off her Zero Suit.
"Mario, say it." Chris folded his arms.
The plumber looked down, slowly nodding.
"Well then, that settles it...Chef Hatchet." Chris snapped his fingers, The Chef came over and picked the Robot off the ground. "YOU ALL WILL REGRET THIS, ILL MAKE YOU ALL PAY!!." Bender shouted, breaking free from Chef before he was picked up and carried away.
"Well, it seems my work her is done." Dr. Kramer nodded and took a bow. "So long everyone."
"Not so fast." Chris said. "I've got three friends who want to have a word with you." He looked over to the three imps and nodded his head, Blitzo smiled and pulled out some rope while Millie pulled out an axe.
The three imps got a hold of the time traveler and dragged him away from the contestants, following Chef who was carrying Bender.
"Alright..." Chris sighed. "All of you can go to the cabins...the next challenge will be tomorrow morning, meet me in the mess hall-"
"Wait-" Tracer put a hand up. "What are you going to do to Bender?."
"Oh nothing you'll have to worry about Miss Oxton, just get some sleep, you're gonna need it tomorrow." Chris walked away, as well as the interns leaving the contestants both confused and worried.
Finally...after several months, it's done...the crossover is complete and we get can back to more Randomness, if anyone is still reading this fanfic after my long hiatus, I'm back and hopefully better than ever, I've gotten several chapters worked on as well as the crossover and hopefully will be returning back towards weekly episodes.
Just apologizing for the long wait but now that it is done, we can return to the daily dose of randomness and this next challenge will be a bit harder for everyone.
I sincerely hope you enjoyed this crossover, hopefully you'll enjoy what I have in store for the season as we move forward into the chaos.
Until next time I'm Chomper and thank you for reading.