Severus wanted to leave. He wanted to head back to his quiet little office at Hogwarts, where nobody would dare bother him, and finish the curriculum for his upcoming sixth years, now that he knew what students would be able to move on to the NEWT level course. He wanted a glass of brandy, a hot meal (the House Elves were making a lamb stew tonight), and a good night's sleep. He wanted to be a young man again, to fix his many mistakes, and for Lily Evans to be alive again, for all the good that did him.

Instead, he was stuck in Grimmauld place, listening to Sirius Black and Ashley Smith recount their little holiday to America, when he had much better things to be doing. It was a small affair tonight; most of the Order was away on missions and tasks of their own. The couple, himself, the two aurors, Dumbledore, Maraktis, Mad-Eye, and the two eldest Weasleys were all that was present.

"So, the yanks won't help, then?" Kingsley Shacklebolt asked. He looked just as weary as Severus felt, and his young partner had her head on the table, mouth open and snoring, her hair changing with the moods of her dream.

I thought the answer to that was rather obvious, Severus thought irritably. He'd had a long day, himself, and much of it was the same as theirs was. The Death Eaters killed almost a dozen Muggles today, and Severus had another dozen faces to haunt his nightmares. Even if he hadn't personally slain them, he's borne witness to their whimpering and begging. It had done them just as much good as his wishes had to him.

"No," Black said, his drumming fingers picking up in pace and annoyance. "Not unless we can get the Ministry of Magic to openly admit that Voldemort is back. They want to ally with us- they're itching for a fight, even- but they won't join an 'underground revolutionary force' when they're supposed to be allied alongside the Ministry proper."

"But are they going to join Fudge in refusing to accept the obvious?" Mad-Eye asked.

"No," Black's fiancée said. "They made that very clear to us- they want to help, and they will, just as soon as the Ministry asks for it."

"Then we will need to force Voldemort out into the open," Dumbledore said. "Severus. Have you any ideas?"

Oh, several, he thought. But what use are they, when they must be stored away, never to be used?

Severus shook his head, playing the part that was expected of him. "Voldemort has no great desire to remain hidden- it is merely convenient for him. He will act as he will. If he reveals himself, so be it. If not- the longer the Ministry denies his existence, the more unmitigated damage he can do."

"Can we trick him?" Arthur Weasley asked. "Maybe get him caught out in the open? Could you get him where we want him?"

"Perhaps," Severus said carefully. "But that would mean meeting him in open combat- and, should he flee before the Ministry arrives to witness him, it will go harder on us. Not to mention that luring him into such a situation would reveal my true nature."

Black snorted, a sound that got Severus's stomach twisting now, just as it had when they were boys. Even the man's smirk was the same as it had been then- and Severus still hated it just as much.

I should hold my tongue.

"Something to say, Black?" Severus asked. "Or has your ego grown so large it is beginning to leak from your nose?"

"Just thinking," Black said, glowering at him.

"Oh, please, do share with the class," Severus said. "I only hope your thoughts have grown in quality since our days in Hogwarts- elsewise, it's like to be as useful as one of Neville Longbottom's potions."

Black's face flushed, and Severus knew he'd likely said too much. Even so, he didn't regret anything.

"Just admit it if you're too much of a coward to do the right thing," Black said, "and let better men handle the battle, while you hide behind your master's skirt."

I should hold my tongue, damn it all.

"And who is it that fled to the States while the one he is sworn to protect is behind bars and awaiting trial?" Severus asked, unable to follow his own advice, let alone Dumbledore's.

Black opened his mouth to respond, a curious look on his face, but Dumbledore spoke first.

"We cannot risk Severus except as a last resort," he said. "If we lure Voldemort into battle, it must be while maintaining his position at the Dark Lord's side. Severus- should battle be met, you will fight for the other side, if you fight at all."

"If he comes anywhere near me, I won't hesitate to take him out, Dumbledore," Black said with an eager, greedy look in his direction.

"Nor will I hesitate to prove my loyalty to the Dark Lord, however false," Severus said coolly. "I promise you, though, Black- meeting you on the field would be quite enjoyable."

"Enough," Dumbledore said before the other man could retort. "The two of you will stay as far away from each other as possible. Severus, you will act only if required, and you will do your best to remain nonlethal. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes," Severus said reluctantly, feeling like a child all over again, like he had every time Dumbledore called one or the both of them to his office to put an end to their animosity. The worst was when Potter was brought in, as well- but he was dead, now, and Severus was all the happier for it.

That is to say, he thought, just as miserable as every other day.

"Then we are adjourned," Dumbledore said. He started to stand- but so did Black.

"Wait just a moment, Dumbledore," he said. "We've done what you asked, now I want to know- what are we doing about Lily?"

"Ah, back to the overbearing fatherly role, now that you've had your little holiday?" Severus said, unable to help himself. "How dear of you to care so much Black- even for one supposedly not of your own blood."

"What are you saying?" Black said, narrowing his eyes.

Enough of this farce, Dumbledore be damned.

"You know full well what I am-"

"Enough!" Dumbledore said, raising his voice just a bit. He sat back down, and motioned for Sirius to do the same. Severus clenched his jaw and did his best to settle his nerves. Black always had a way of getting under his skin and making him forget himself. He was supposed to be above all this, now. Lily would be ashamed, he thought.

"No," Lupin said, raising his hand and still staring at Severus. Was that hatred in his eyes- or just curiosity? "I want to hear what Severus has to say."

Keep my name out of your mouth, beast, Severus thought. He said nothing, though. He sat silently, stewing away on the inside. He'd already said too much, and Dumbledore was right to cut him off. I must hold my tongue, no matter what Black says.

"I meant no disrespect," Severus said when the silence lingered too long.

Black snorted, his fingers drumming again. Severus wanted to blast every digit off, all with one curse. He took in a deep breath to steady himself, letting the cool air sit in his chest. That always helped him calm down.

"Say it, Snivellus," Black said. Severus could feel a heat rising in his body, the coolness vanishing in an instant- suddenly, he was a boy all over again, hanging in the air by his ankle, the torturous laughter ringing all around him. He took another deep breath, but it did nothing to settle the boiling rage set in his chest.

Ignore it, Severus thought, ignore him. Black's drumming got faster, and Severus started grinding his teeth.

"Watch your tongue, Black," Severus spat. "Or someone is like to remove it for you."

"I'd like to see you-"

"Enough!" Dumbledore said again. Severus ignored him, plowing right on ahead.

"If you would like to discuss the girl, Black," he said with a sneer, "you need only wait until tomorrow, when better men will have secured her freedom."

"Her name," Black snapped, his terrible drumming stopping all at once, "is Lily."

"No," Severus said, unable to stop himself. "That was her mother's name- and you would do well to keep it out of your mouth."

"Would I, now?" Black said darkly. "I seem to remember you joining an order devoted to killing the likes of Lily Evans- what right do you have to pretend you ever cared for her?"

"Gentlemen," Dumbledore said sharply. "Now is not the time for this." They were well past that point, though; both men were standing, hands on the hilts of their wands.

"Less right than you do, if the rumours are true," Severus said coldly. It was time. He needed to know. Dumbledore would have to curse him if he wanted him to stop.

"What do you mean by that?" Black said with a questioning sneer. His fiancée tried to pull him down to his seat by the sleeve of his robe, but he shook her off.

"Don't pretend you're so ignorant," Severus said. "You are the girl's father, are you not?"

"What are you-"

"Hazel's?" Lupin cut in with a frown. "You're suggesting Sirius is her father?"

"I have suggested nothing," Severus said, still glaring at Black, trying to figure out the cavalcade of emotions playing across his face. Confusion? Anger? Grief? "The Dark Lord claims it as fact- and it makes sense. The girl's powers, her 'godfather's' overprotectiveness- unless you have proof otherwise, the conclusion is obvious."

"Sirius," Mrs. Weasley asked, looking between the two of them with her mouth hanging open. "Is this true?"

"Is it possible?" Black's fiancée added. Severus couldn't read her face, either, but he could tell she wasn't pleased. "Sirius? Is it-"

"James is her father," Black finally said. Still, Severus couldn't figure his expression out- it was like well-polished stone. He has to by lying, Severus thought. Else, why hesitate? He decided to push it further.

"So you say," Severus said with a shrug. "It would be easy to find out the truth- and the Dark Lord claims he already has, that you are her-"

"That's enough," Black said, fully drawing his wand and aiming it at Severus's chest.

"Can't face the truth?" Severus asked.

"Put your wand away, you fool," Moody said, his own wand levelled at Black's chest. "We don't fight. Not here."

"I want him out of my house," Black said, not looking away from Severus. That time, Severus caught a flicker in his eyes.

Fear, Severus decided. He's afraid of something. But what?

"Go, Severus," Dumbledore said calmly. "You will wait for me in my office."

"I'm still waiting for her question to be answered," Severus said, pointing at Black's fiancée. "Is it possible, Black? Answer that, and I'll go."

Black's grimace deepened, and nobody said a thing. Severus took the silence as an answer all of its own- as unsatisfying as it was.

Say it, you coward, he thought.

"Oh, Sirius," Lupin said sadly. "My friend, say it isn't so."

It has to be a lie. It has to be.

"It isn't," Black said finally, far, far too late. "James is her father."

Say it's a lie. Lily wouldn't have. She wouldn't.

"When?" Lupin asked. "When James was missing for-"

Say it.

"James is her father," Black insisted.

Say it!

"Sirius," his fiancée said. "This is-"

"Not a discussion for this setting," Dumbledore finished for her, standing to his full height. "Severus. I gave you an order. Sirius. Sit down. We must go over the details for the trial."

This time, Severus obeyed, leaving the room while keeping his eyes firmly on Sirius Black. He took the Floo straight to Dumbledore's office, and then paced the length of it while he waited, ignoring each and every question from the portraits above him.

It is a lie.

"Where is Dumbledore?"

I know it is. I just want to hear it from his lips.

"Does he have news for us?"

Lily wouldn't have. The Dark Lord is lying.

"You young people these days have no manners- answer our questions, man!"

He wants Hazel to suffer. He thinks- he knows- it would hurt her, whichever way the truth lays. He's lying. That's all.

He was alone with them for an hour, almost ready to snap at them all to give him some peace and quiet so he could think, when Dumbledore finally emerged from the fireplace.

"There he is!"

"Hello, Phineas," Dumbledore said pleasantly. He motioned to the chair closest to his desk. "Sit, Severus."

Severus did so, grinding his teeth and stewing over his very long day.

"Dumbledore," Phineas Black said from above them. "We have news."

"If, by 'we,' you mean Mellifi Malfoy, then, yes, I'm sure you do," Dumbledore said, turning to an ancient portrait whose hair was indiscernible between white and pale blond. "Well?"

"Everything is proceeding as we thought it would," Mellifi said, his voice not as aged as the wrinkles of his face would suggest. "My fool of a descendant met with Cornelius Fudge to discuss their prospects tonight, just as Severus said they would. He hardly even noticed I was watching over his shoulder."

"Lucius is a fool," Severus said dryly. "He's incapable of suspecting a member of his own family would spy on him- even one that was dead two hundred years before his birth."

"There was a slight wrinkle to it, though," Mellifi continued, scratching at one of his own. "Fudge, well- he expressed that he- he wanted to-"

"Good Lord," Phineas said, rolling his eyes when the other portrait sneezed. "Why do you still insist that you are suffering from the same hay fever you died with, my good man?"

"I cannot help it," Mellifi said, blowing his nose into a silk handkerchief. "That is when they painted me."

"Continue, if you would," Dumbledore said patiently.

"Fudge wanted to call off the whole thing and drop the charges," Mellifi said. "He does not believe that he has the evidence to convict, but Lucius Malfoy has convinced him to push forward."

"At the Dark Lord's insistence, no doubt," Severus said. "It is as I've reported, Albus."

"Yes, it seems so," Dumbledore said, shifting in his seat. "It seems I must assign you another task, Severus, if the trial does proceed as we suspect."

"And that is?"

"You will need to protect me from Sirius," he said with a wan smile. "Although, after your foolish performance tonight, you may need to protect yourself, first. If you had not left when you did, I am certain it would have come to blows."

"I do not fear anything Black would do," Severus said.

"You should," Dumbledore said. "You are no longer children, Severus, and you should not have acted like one."

"I was only-"

"You provoked him," Dumbledore said sternly. "You have been provoking him for weeks, now. It was only a matter of time before Sirius acted on it. You will refrain from doing so in the future- do I make myself understood?"

"Yes," Severus said through grit teeth.

"We need him, Severus," Dumbledore insisted. "If we have any hope of wresting the girl from Voldemort's control, we will need him on our side."

"And, yet," Severus said sharply, "you fear that you will need protection from him. Why is that?"

Dumbledore was quiet for a long while, and Severus knew he was mulling over how much he should tell him. Severus thought of his bed, floors below, and wondered if he'd get a chance to sleep at all tonight.

"Have I ever told you why it is that I detest Divination?" Dumbledore said at last.

It seems not, he thought.

"Based on our dear Sybil, you believe it to be a profession for fools," Severus guessed.

"Oh, not at all," Dumbledore said congenially, his thumbs twiddling together. "In fact, in the hands of the truly talented, it is an enormously powerful tool- the issue is that very few have the talent, while a great many pretend to. And, even in the hands of the great, the future can be misunderstood, prevented, or outright wrong."

"Where are you going with this?" Severus asked.

"When I was a young lad," Dumbledore said, "a- a friend of mine, we'll say, brought the both of us to the abode a of a great seer. He wanted to know if we would be successful in our- our endeavours. I was against it- I was a foolish boy, and I believed the whole profession to be poppycock- but I wanted to impress this friend of mine so dearly."

"And?"

"And she tasted a drop of blood from the each of us and told us our futures," Dumbledore said. "Again, I was young- I was not yet in the habit of recording my memories to maintain accurate records, and, furthermore, I believed it all to be nonsense, so I did not pay as much attention as I should have. Still, though, the fragments I do remember have all come true- with the exception of one thing."

"And those predictions were?"

"That I would live to see and fight in three wars," Dumbledore said. "That the first would break my most precious bond, that the second would be nearly lost, and the third- that I would not live to see the end of it."

"I see," Severus said, shifting in his seat, now suddenly deeply, uncomfortably aware of how old and fragile Dumbledore seemed to be.

"Indeed," Dumbledore said with a sad smile. "And, worst of all, I would, presumably, die two deaths during this war."

"Two?"

"Two," Dumbledore said with a nod. "The first will be at the hands of 'one I have betrayed.' I remember that much, but if a description or name was mentioned, that escapes me."

"And you think it will be Black?"

"It may be," Dumbledore said. "I am uncertain, as of yet. It may also be Alastor, if I am wrong about how he will take our plan."

Severus snorted. "Mad-Eye would never raise a hand against you."

"You do not know him as I do," Dumbledore said. "Alastor is a good man, yes- but he sees everything in shades of black and white. If he disagrees about our need, it may be that he will stand against us. He never could abide a sacrifice- even a temporary one, and even when it was necessary."

"Still," Severus said, crossing his legs. "It will not be him." He'd only believe it possible when Voldemort himself managed to find true love.

Or when Lily returns to life, he thought grimly. And, even then, she would still hate the man I have become.

"It could be anybody," Dumbledore said with a shrug. "With the decisions I have been forced to make, and with the decisions I will undoubtedly have to make in the future, we have no dearth of suspects. War is not easy, Severus, and it makes monsters of us all. I despise what we must do with every fibre of my being- but it must be done, if we have any hope of victory. Thus, I will need your protection, should it come to it."

"But this second death," Severus said. "What of it?"

"I do not yet know the truth of that matter," Dumbledore said, "and I pray that I never will, for what man may die two deaths?"

"The Dark Lord shall," Severus said. "He has already had one."

"And, yet, I have not committed the foul acts that preserved him through his first," Dumbledore said, "and I pray I will never be so desperate as that. But there is one more who has died more than even Voldemort, and yet still walks amidst us without having committed any atrocities of her own."

"And who would that be?" Severus asked, even though he already had a good idea.

"Why, Hazel, of course," Dumbledore said with a smile. "Most recently, she passed from the injuries she obtained from her dragon during the first task- although I convinced Poppy otherwise. Before that, it was Remus Lupin, while he was in that dreadful state of his at the end of her third year. Before that, the Basilisk- I asked Alastor to look into that one for me, and he's confirmed the truth of it. Granger witnessed her death, and could see the Thestrals soon after. Before that, all I had was one sure instance to work off of, and it was only a theory of mine."

"One instance?" Severus repeated, not sure he wanted to hear it. "When? How?" He remembered the memories he'd seen from the girl, when he was teaching her Occlumency.

If it was by their hands, I'll kill them myself, he thought. I owe that to her, for not believing her. He may even do it anyway, if only to cleanse his conscience.

"Her first was at your hands, I'm afraid," Dumbledore said.

"Mine?" Severus said, taken aback. "I never- I didn't-"

"It was your poison you brewed to guard the Philosopher's Stone," Dumbledore said.

"I- I administered her the antidote!"

"And too late," Dumbledore said, nodding. "She was already dead by then."

Severus felt a tightness in his chest that he couldn't seem to rid himself of. "If she died, then how is she still here? How could anyone die four times and still live, Albus?"

Dumbledore smiled at him, then, although his eyes showed the great grief he was feeling.

"I'm afraid that is a secret," Dumbledore said. "One that I may have to share with you eventually, yes- and likely the one that will cause you to kill me."