They'd clapped her hands in manacles to keep her from moving them and put a hood over her head, so she couldn't see where they were taking her, but at least they hadn't taken her wand from her. They'd put it inside her robe, where she could still feel it occasionally pulsating along with the beating of her heart. She couldn't hear nor see a thing; the instant the hood went over her face, all signs of the outside world were cut out. She could still remember Hermione trying to pull them away from her, shouting for them to just stop and listen. Lily hadn't struggled. She expected this treatment.

First, they took her somewhere that smelled earthy, like she was surrounded by loads of soil. They sat her down on a hard, wooden surface for what felt like ages. She should have been afraid, she supposed, but there was something about the aroma of the area that was strangely calming. She knew it, she was sure of it. She just couldn't figure out what it was. Lily was fairly certain she even slipped into sleep, at some point, once the exertion of the battle finally got to her. She had no idea how long she was asleep for.

Next thing she knew, she was being pulled up to her feet by two pairs of strong hands lugging her forward by either arm. One, she supposed was Moody, because she could feel the strangeness of his gait as he limped along. She had no idea who the other was. Only Kingsley, Tonks, Mr. Weasley, and Dumbledore himself had showed up to arrest her, so she supposed it was one of them, but she couldn't really know. They didn't walk for long before the earthy aroma was gone, and she felt spongy soil and grass beneath her feet. She could smell flowers and- and something else. Some sort of animal and- and water, maybe? Now that she was rested, her predicament was starting to get to her. She started to feel anxious, her robes getting very tight around her chest, and the hood over her face wasn't letting her breathe properly.

It's fine, Lily kept telling herself, over and over again. They're not going to hurt me. They're the good guys. It's fine. We're fine.

Only, they'd never bothered to come for her, had they? Even Sirius- she'd given Snape her watch and a message to deliver ages ago, the one time she managed to get alone with him, and Sirius hadn't come.

She felt her boots hit a harder surface, and then, gingerly, she was led down some steps. She counted twenty-three of them before they levelled out. The hands tightened around her arms, and then they halted completely. Lily wished very much she could at least hear what was going on. She felt a third person grab on to her, before the other two yanked her back away, and even though she really had no reason to do so, she started panicking again, and her breathing became more ragged. She was gasping, her heartbeat a terrible drum in her head, turning her head this way and that, desperate for any sort of noise, or light, or fresh air, or- or-

Stay calm, she thought. Staycalmstaycalmstaycalmstaycalmstaycalmstaycalm-

Her blood was boiling again, and it felt like she was right back in the manor. She could hear Voldemort speaking to her, could feel him forcing the potion down her throat again.

When the hands tried to get her moving again, she kicked the shin of the one on her right, and they let go. She tried to pull free, but the one on her left wrapped their arms around her and squeezed tight. Lily let out a little shout, the only noise that could fill her ears, and tried to wriggle free, but they lifted her upwards and all she could do was kick feebly. She felt a sudden flash of heat around her chest, and then the arms were gone. She tried to make a run for it, then, but stumbled over the first step upwards and spilled to the floor, unable to catch herself with her bound hands, and then someone was on top of her, pinning her to the ground.

"Stop!" she shouted when her elbow was wrenched. There was a sudden bright flash, and she squeezed her eyes closed shut. "Please, don't, I'm sorry, I'll-"

"Lily! Calm down!"

That was a voice she knew. But how- she was still- she was-

She wasn't in the manor. Her vision started to clear and adjust to the light, and, kneeling before her, looking very angry, was Sirius Black. His face looked gaunt and thinner than the last time she'd seen him, and his hair was peppered with gray that she knew hadn't been there before, but it was him.

We're safe, she thought, squeezing her eyes shut again, just to shut out the too bright light. Not the manor. Home, or- or-

"Get off her," Sirius growled.

"She tried a runner, mate," a voice she didn't know said from her back. Lily opened her eyes again, although she had to squint so she wasn't blinded.

"She burned me!" Tonks said, clutching her arms close to her chest, her face crinkled in pain.

"Course she did," Sirius said, and he shoved off whoever the person was. "What did you lot go and arrest her for? You should have told me the instant she was safe."

"We had to-"

"Shut up, Mad-Eye," Sirius said, and he leaned in real close to Lily, reaching out gingerly to touch her on the shoulder. Lily for her part, had scooted over to the wall, placing her back against it while she tried to control her breathing.

Safe. Don't be stupid. It's just Sirius. Just Sirius. Just- just-

"Sirius," she said, still not quite believing what she was seeing.

"You're alright," he said, smiling at her. "You're home."

She wasn't, though. Wherever she was, her home at 12 Grimmauld Place was definitely not it. This was a dark cellar, barely furnished, with a round table sitting in the center of it. The walls were plain and new, the floor still a little dirty from its recent installation. There weren't many people down here, either. Aside from Sirius and those that showed up to arrest her, there was only Mrs. Weasley, Ashley Smith, and Mundungus Fletcher, who, judging by the dazed way he was sitting on the floor, had been the one to tackle her when she tried to run.

"Potter," Moody growled, his hand still clutching his wand, which was pointed straight at her. "How many points did I give you when you broke out of the Imperius during my class?"

"There will be no need for testing her, Alastor," Dumbledore said, who was already sitting at the table. "I have every confidence that this is Hazel." That was good because Lily had no clue what-so-ever what the answer to Moody's question was.

"You said that before, too," Sirius said, still watching her carefully. "But it's her. I'm sure of it." He squeezed her shoulder.

"Come on," Ashley said, suddenly at her other side. "Let's get you up. You must be exhausted." Lily had a sudden, very strong urge to hug her, to pull Sirius in, to just sit there, against the wall, and- and- what was- something caught her eye, on Ashley's hand, but the room was still too bright to make it out. She blinked again, wishing she could rub at her eyes, but her hands were still bound behind her.

"Not yet," Dumbledore said quietly, his hands perched in front of him. "There are questions we must get answers to, before Hazel heads to bed."

"They'll have to wait, Dumbledore," Sirius said, and both he and Ashley moved closer to her, each grabbing under one arm and helping her to her feet. "She's just been-"

Lily blinked, and then the image was clearer. Ashley had a ring on her left hand, and Sirius had a matching one on his. She felt a spike of heat pulse inside of her, and everyone's head turned upwards when a loud crack rang from the rafters.

"I'm fine," Lily said, finally finding her voice and wrenching her arm free from Ashley's grip. Sirius was harder, but she got free of him, too, shoving straight past him and taking a seat directly across from Dumbledore.

"Don't worry," Dumbledore said gently. "This is just a formality. We just wanted to ask a few questions."

"I think we've done quite enough," Sirius said, his voice quite level despite the rage clearly etched on his face. "At least uncuff her, if you're going to insist. I won't let you treat her like a prisoner, Dumbledore."

"Like you care," Lily mumbled under her breath. There was still a great warmth running through her veins, and no amount of breathing in the cool air of the cellar would calm it.

"As you say," Dumbledore said, and he was staring at her very curiously. Perhaps he'd heard what she said- if he did, he was the only one. She heard Sirius move up behind her, heard something tap against her manacles, and, with a great click, she was free. She moved her hands in front of her, rubbing and stretching her wrists, an occasional pop echoing around the room.

"How did you organize this breakout, Potter?" Moody asked, taking the seat next to Dumbledore. "

"She didn't," Sirius said, taking the seat on her left and scooting closer to her. Lily tried to scoot away, but then Ashley was on her right, and she didn't have the room to do so. "I did."

Dumbledore frowned. "Did you now?"

"Somebody had to break her out of there," Ashley said. "So, we arranged something."

"Fleur volunteered to go in by herself," Sirius said, moving to pat Lily's hand, but she pulled it away. "But we suggested taking a few more people. Hermione had a Trace Blocker, and I told her where Lily's cloak was, so she was supposed to sneak in and get Lily out, while the others ran a distraction."

"You had no right involving Fred and George," Mrs. Weasley said, pale and shaking slightly, sitting very near her husband. "They almost- they-"

"They will live, Molly," Dumbledore said.

"But they're-"

"They've been taken to Mungo's," Ashley whispered to Lily. "They'll be there for a while, but they'll be alright. They got the worst of it."

Lily clenched her jaw and kept staring ahead. Not your fault, she told herself. Theirs. Sirius's. Nobody would have had to be there if he'd just- just-

"If Charlie hadn't told us what you lot were up to," Mrs. Weasley said, "we might never have gotten there in time to help them. They- they could have-"

"They knew what they were getting into, Molly," Mr. Weasley said. He was pale, too, but seemed to have a bit of pride to his smile. "They're of age. We can't stop them from trying to do the right thing."

He pat her hand, and that made Lily look down at her own. Ashley was holding it, with that stupid ring on her finger. She kept stroking Lily's thumb- and she couldn't feel a bit of it. She pulled it away in a rush and placed both her hands firmly in her lap. Dumbledore was the only one that watched her- everyone else was looking at the ceiling again after the most recent creaking.

"Ron and Ginny must be up," Mr. Weasley said. "I should-"

"Stay," Dumbledore said when he moved to stand. "It is nothing. Only… the house settling."

He cocked his head towards Lily, then, staring at her intently, and she started grinding her teeth.

"How many secrets did you tell Voldemort?" Moody asked. "What does he know?"

Lily only briefly considered lying or refusing. It was Sirius reaching for her again that made her reconsider. The sooner it's over with, the sooner he'll go away, she thought.

"The prophecy," Lily said at once, looking Dumbledore straight in the eye. "It was the first thing he asked of me."

Dumbledore nodded. "It seems we will have no further need to guard it then, Alastor. Inform Sturgis, when we are done, that he may go."

"Anything else?" Moody asked.

Lily chewed her lip, thinking very hard. Sirius tried to squeeze her shoulder, but he must have seen something on her face, because he stopped before reaching her.

"I don't know," she said truthfully. "He- he never really asked me much. He-" She took a deep breath. "He mostly- mostly taught me things."

"Like what?" Moody asked.

This time, the table in front of them all creaked, but as it happened at the same instant Sirius leaned on it, only Dumbledore frowned. Lily started tapping her foot on the floor in a steady rhythm.

She shrugged. "Whatever he felt like."

"Potter, we need specifics."

"Well, I can't seem to recall any," she said, crossing her arms.

"Potter-"

Creak.

"Enough, Alastor," Dumbledore said, raising a hand slightly. He was staring straight into her eyes, and she knew he was trying to read her. "Move to your next question."

"Alright," Moody said, tapping his fingers on the table, his magical eye swerving to stare above them. "Why did you burn down the manor?"

Creak. Sirius shifted his weight off of the table, his brow furrowed.

"Because I wanted to," Lily said, holding her chin high, eyes still locked on Dumbledore's.

"You could have just snuck away," Moody said. "You were meant to do just that, by Sirius's own confession. By burning down the manor, you created unneeded complications and put your friends into unnecessary danger."

"And she managed to destroy our enemies headquarters," Ashley countered. "Don't try to suggest she didn't do us a big favour, Mad-Eye."

"She did us no such thing," Moody snapped. "There will be retribution for this, I promise you. That's the whole purpose of this hideout. Do you know where we are, Potter?"

Creak.

"Watch your tone, Alastor," Dumbledore said. "Hazel- do you know where we are?"

"No," Lily said.

"We're at the Burrow, Lily," Mr. Weasley said in a gentle voice. "We've made a cellar for- for a temporary headquarters."

Creak.

"You had me at the Burrow?" Lily said, her voice shaking, still meeting Dumbledore's gaze. "You had me locked in the shed?" It was no wonder she'd recognised it, she'd- she'd-

Creak.

"Blimey, noisy thing, isn't it?"

"It's an old table," Mr. Weasley whispered to Tonks. "We had it in the shed, but we needed to make room for- well-"

Creak.

"What's wrong with the old headquarters?" Lily asked, taking a deep breath and, only for a moment, closing her eyes. She met Dumbledore's gaze again once she opened them.

"The Fidelius is too strained," Moody answered. "Any one of us could give away the secret, now, and that's assuming Voldemort doesn't already have it from being inside your head."

Creak.

"Your tone, Alastor," Dumbledore said again.

"It's only a matter of time before he comes for us," Moody continued, "so we've taken the initiative to move our most important assets here."

Creak.

"I'm an asset, then?" Lily hissed.

"A poor choice of words," Dumbledore said, raising a hand again. "Hazel. This is our final question of the night. And, please- I am not accusing you. I am only trying to get a handle on the full situation. Miss Granger has told us of your little skirmish with the Death Eaters, but she was incredibly vague on the details. None-the-less, judging by the injuries the Death Eaters who were brought to St. Mungo's incurred, I can only assume one thing. Did you use dark magic?"

"Maybe."

"Did you attempt to use the Killing Curse?"

Creak.

"I saved them," Lily said. "I got here in time to-"

"Answer the question, Hazel."

"But-"

"Do not stall."

"I-" Lily said, trying to breathe. "I was- I was only-"

"We're in a war," Ashley said hotly, and Lily had to move her hands again when Ashley tried to grab one. "And they were holding her prisoner. What was she supposed to do- ask them nicely to-"

"I don't need your help," Lily snapped, trying to settle her shaking hands in her lap.

"Lily," Sirius said, "Ashley's only trying to-"

"I know exactly what she's doing, she's-" Lily paused to breathe again.

"I don't know what Snape had planned for her escape," Moody said, "but I highly doubt he asked her to burn down their stronghold. I doubt he asked her to kill anybody. Did you, Black?"

"I didn't kill anybody," Lily said, but no one heard her, because Sirius was now on his feet.

"Lily did what she had to do," Sirius said defiantly.

Creak.

"Sirius, shut up," Lily said, stretching her fingers, back and forth, and trying to focus on the movement.

"She's not even sixteen," Moody said, standing to match Sirius's height. "She shouldn't be slaying her opponents in the heat of battle."

"Just- just-"

"She shouldn't be a prisoner of war, either, but she was," Sirius said, slamming a palm on the table. "Don't try to shame her for what any of us would have done in her position, Mad-Eye. Lily was only-"

"Shut up!"

Crack!

The table split straight down the middle, a line created between Lily and Dumbledore, and the whole thing toppled to the floor with a might crash. Mrs. Weasley and Ashley gave a little moan of surprise, while Mundungus straight out yelped, jumping quickly to his feet to avoid his knees getting knocked by wood. Then, everybody went silent, before Tonks laughed nervously.

"Blimey, Sirius," she said. "Mind your strength, mate."

Dumbledore kept staring at Lily, and she took another deep breath. Her blood was still boiling.

"Yes," he said. "Do mind your manners, Sirius. A guest should not destroy their host's furniture. Hazel. You have not yet answered my question."

I did try to kill them, she thought, staring at the hands in her lap. I would have, too, if- if Hermione hadn't- if she'd-

She took another, shuddering breath, and closed her eyes. It had been so easy, in the heat of the moment, to want to kill- to want to take that extra bit of revenge. It had been so tempting. But, now- all she could think about was Myrtle, laying cold on the floor, and the feel of her cooling blood, and the sound of Voldemort's laughter during their first lesson.

We are one and the same, he'd said, running his hands through her hair. Kindred spirits. I should have seen that from the beginning.

And you have so much to learn from me.

"Lily?" Ashley said, touching her cheek and bringing her back to reality. "Are you alright?"

"Yes," Lily said, ignoring how cold and clammy she felt.

"Would you consent to Madam Pomfrey examining you?" Dumbledore asked, eyeing her very carefully. "We only want to ensure that you have no lasting-"

"No!" Lily said, standing in a hurry. She only just fought back the urge to grab at her left forearm- but she saw Moody narrow his eyes at it, as if he'd notice the twitch of her dead hand.

Can he see it? She thought, feeling sick again. She swallowed down the lump in her throat.

"I'm fine," she said, trying to smile. "I just- it was a long night. I'd like to- to get some more sleep, if that's alright."

"As you wish," Dumbledore said, smiling and nodding at her. "But, first- you have not yet answered my question."

"I- I'm sorry. What was the question?"

"Did you use attempt to use the Killing Curse?"

"Dumbledore," Sirius said warningly.

"On this, I must know the truth," Dumbledore said, still staring straight through her. "Please, Hazel. You know what I must do if you try to lie to me."

Lily took another breath, and then met his gaze right back. She felt a slight tugging at her mind.

"Go ahead and try," she said, crossing her arms.

Lily found herself standing- no, not standing, but floating wasn't quite right, either- she found herself being in a black void. She was alone, at first, but then Dumbledore was there, too, right in front of her.

"Please," he said again. "I take no pleasure in this, Hazel. If you would just volunteer the information willingly, there is no need to-"

"Go to hell," Lily said, but even when she closed her eyes, she could still see Dumbledore.

"We are alone now, Hazel," Dumbledore said, stroking his great, white beard. "There is no need to be afraid. Nobody will ever know what you show me, but it is critical that I understand exactly what you have been through."

"Ask Snape," Lily hissed. "He's your buddy, isn't he?"

"Severus never knew the full extent of your confinement. For instance, he never knew you were being possessed until-"

"Dragon dung," Lily spat, and she tried to rush towards him, perhaps to hit him (not even she knew), but all she accomplished was flailing her arms uselessly.

"I promise you, I am not lying," Dumbledore said. "Please. Show me. What happened after the Third Task, Hazel? If you'll tell me that, at least, we will go no further. I promise you."

"No."

"Hazel. Please. We have missed much time, and it is imperative that we-"

"I'm not showing you anything."

"These shields of yours," Dumbledore said, gesturing to the void around them. "Am I correct in assuming your Occlumency has improved since-"

"Stop," Lily said, squeezing her eyes shut and shaking her head again. She could still see him.

"If I must push you, Hazel, I will," Dumbledore said. "I have no wish to, but I must know what Voldemort does, so we can prepare. There is much Severus did not tell me about the night you disappeared. How about we start there? Would that be alright?"

"No, it- get out of my head!"

"Very well," Dumbledore said, sounding very sad. "Then I will do what I must."

But, contrary to leaving, Lily felt a tearing sensation in her head, and she screamed, clutching at it, as the black void around them morphed into a ballroom. The people around her were vague and hazy, as she thought for her life not to remember them, and their words sounded muffled- all except for those standing the closest to her. Them, she could never forget, no matter how much she wanted to.

"Please," she said, voice still shaking.

"Go on," Voldemort said, shoving her forward. "Barty was always an excellent dancer. Why, that's even how we first met his wife- perhaps, if he's lucky, you'll be his next one."

"Here you are, Black," Quirrell said, smiling as he forced her to wrap her arms around the corpse. Lily looked briefly into his dead eyes, and then forced hers shut, bile rising into her throat. She kept only her fingertips on his waist- she couldn't stand anymore than that, and if they tried to force her, she'd make them kill her.

"Stop," she begged, but no matter how much she tried to push the memory from her head, it wouldn't go.

"Well?" Voldemort said. "Crouch has been so kind as to agree to be your partner when no one else wanted the duty. Dance, Black."

Lily shook her head. This was too much.

"Dance."

Lily shook her head again, and then cold hands were on her face, forcing her eyelids open.

"You could at least look at your date, dear girl," Voldemort whispered into her ear.

Lily's eyes darted around, trying to look at anything but Crouch, but he was just too close.

"I said look," Voldemort said, shoving her head closer.

"Focus, Hazel," Dumbledore's voice said. "I know this part already, and I have no desire for you to relive it. I need to see what happened afterwards, when you left Severus's presence. Then, you may go home."

Lily tried to focus, and the scene blurred again, but it only barely moved forward in time.

"You still aren't dancing," Voldemort hissed. "Crouch: waltz."

Crouch was slow to move, but his hands gripped her waist harder, and Lily could feel herself bruising. She shuddered as they began to move, slowly rotating to the sound of music above them.

She could hear the Death Eaters laughing at her again, some even throwing jeers at her. Let them, she thought. She preferred it to the sounds of Fleur screaming. Let my misery give her a break. She took a breath. She could handle it, so long as Fleur was safe.

"Give him a kiss, Black!" one shouted to a chorus of cheers and agreements.

"Stop," Lily said again, grabbing her head and trying to push it back together. It felt as if it was split in half, her scar forming the center.

"I will. I promise- please, Hazel. Just show me what happened once you drank Voldemort's potion. Please."

Lily tried again. She really, really did, and the scene morphed again, forward through time, until, suddenly, she was dueling Voldemort, still surrounded by his Death Eaters, the music still pounding above their heads.

"Come on, Black," Voldemort shouted at her. "Where is all your magic? You are a witch, no? Or did that whore you call a mother produce a squib?"

The crowd laughed, and Lily roared her frustration. She ran forward, ducking under a stream of pestilent, stinking water, running straight for Voldemort, trying to bait him into-

"Crouch," Voldemort said casually. "Consume her."

She made it only a couple more steps before a heavy weight jumped on her. Crouch snapped at her neck with his broken teeth, and Lily tried to shove him off with her. His hands grabbed at her shoulder and waist, long, dirty nails piercing into her flesh. Lily screamed, then, despite herself, and the crowd laughed again, watching her struggle and flail. She got her forearm under his chin, pressed against his freezing neck, and pushed with all her might, his teeth still managing to graze her cheek.

Then she was suddenly back at the broken table, in the Burrow's new cellar, gasping for breath as a cold sweat began to break out all over her body. Somebody was holding her, but her whole body was as numb as her right hand. She was on her knees, and she felt like she might be sick at any moment.

Her scar was pounding, her dark mark matching its pulse under the sleeve of her robe.

"What did you do?" she heard Sirius say, directly next to her. It was him holding her, but she was too weak to push him away.

"A tremendous mistake," Dumbledore said, his voice shaking slightly. "I think Hazel could do with a rest. Show her to her room if you would, Sirius. Hazel- I am sorry. Truly, I am. I am sure we will have many more question for you in the coming days, but they can wait. For now, you may rest."

It was as she made to leave the room, Sirius and Ashley at her side, that Lily noticed Dumbledore was refusing to look at her. He had his eyes firmly grounded on the broken table, a tremendous look of disappointment stuck on his face.

He hates me, she thought as she walked up the empty staircase. She hadn't realized she was doing it, but her right hand was clutched over her Dark Mark. He knows. Snape told him. He knows I'm a monster. What else did he know? What else did Snape tell him?

She couldn't remember walking into the Burrow's kitchen, let alone starting up the creaking stairs that led to the rooms. She couldn't remember a lot of things, really. It felt like- like she was just gone, for a bit. She had vague flashes of sitting in a tub, scrubbing furiously at her dark mark, and she must have been given new clothes, because she was now wearing a bright sundress, rather than her death eater robes. She might have even eaten. She felt full. And then, suddenly, she was standing in front of a closed door, and somebody was speaking to her.

"Lily?" Sirius said, holding her chin to force her to look into his eyes. "Are you alright?"

She felt a tremendous mix of emotion, all at once, so many that she felt she might explode. She almost hugged Sirius, right then and there, ready to cry and weep and just get it all out. She just wanted- wanted-

But then she caught sight of the ring on his finger again, and the bareness on his wrist, and she could hear Voldemort's voice all over again.

Your father cares not for you, Black, he'd said, tossing a newspaper down in front of her. It seems he's found a new family.

Lily put both of her hands on his chest and shoved him away from her. He stumbled only a step, leaning heavily on his cane to not topple over (and that was the first time she noticed he even had one, with how out of it she'd been). He winced, a hand clutching at his chest, and let out a little groan of pain.

"Lily!" Ashley said from her other side, a hand covering her shocked mouth.

"I'm fine," Lily said, clenching her door handle a bit too hard and pushing the door open. She'd expected the room to just be set for a guest- she thought she wouldn't be staying long at all before they'd take her back to Grimmauld Place, to home.

Instead, all her belongings were stored inside, arranged quite unlike how she chose to place them when she used to call the Burrow her home. Her poster of Gwenog Jones was hanging on the ceiling above her head, but that was the only normal thing. Her old wardrobe was tucked into the far right corner, her little desk beside it. Her three bookshelves were all lining the wall directly next to the door, stuffed full of books, many of which she'd yet to read. The great Gryffindor lion tapestry that was supposed to be locked away inside of her box of treasures was instead hanging on the empty wall above her bed, and she spotted her sketchbooks sitting in a stack on her desk. Her golden snitch was sitting on the small table next to her bed, and, right underneath the mattress, she could just make out the box where she stored every letter she'd ever received.

Lily clenched her jaw and took a step inside. Before she knew what she was doing, she was pulling the box out from under the frame and flipping the lid open. Her letters were all still inside, along with her photo album and two fabulous rings that had belonged to her parents (they were also slightly scorched, since she'd had the brilliant idea of wearing them while fighting a dragon). She was glad they weren't out in the open- but somebody had gone through her treasures, and that- that caused the terrible heat to return to her veins.

She slammed the lid of the box closed and pushed it all the way to the back corner, where nobody should be able to find it. She could hear Ashley and Sirius whispering behind her, but she stayed cross-legged on the floor, drumming her fingers on the boards and hoping they'd just go away.

"-tell her now, Sirius."

"You sure? She might not be-"

"It's only going to go worse the longer you wait. I'll be downstairs."

She heard her kiss him on the cheek and then, a moment later, the sound of Sirius's cane tapping softly as he entered the room and closed the door behind them. Lily didn't turn around. She tried to stare out the window, as the curtains were drawn up, but as it was very dark, all she could get a look at were distant stars.

It had been day when she was let out of the cellar. She was sure of it. How much time had she lost?

"Lily," Sirius said after a very long time of ignoring him. "We should talk."

"You talk," Lily said, still not moving from her spot on the floor. "I've got nothing to say."

"I know you're mad, but-"

"Mad?" Lily said with a little scoff as she hopped right to her feet. "You've got no idea how I-"

She took a deep breath when she found herself shoving a trembling finger in his chest. Apparently, she had quite a bit to say, but she really didn't want to get into it right now. She crossed her arms, stared at the floor, and lowered her voice to a much calmer tone.

"Can we do this later?" she said. "I just- I want to get to bed." She wouldn't be able to sleep, but that wasn't the purpose. She just wanted to be in bed, and never leave it for the rest of her life.

"Lily," Sirius said, reaching up to squeeze her shoulder, only to find her moving away from him again. "I just- I want you to know that I never would have left you in there, if I'd known what was going on."

Lily scoffed again but said nothing.

Your father cares not for you.

"I promise," Sirius said, taking another step forward. He stopped in place when they both heard a sharp crack from the window, as a small fracture appeared in a glass pane.

"And what about my watch, then?" Lily said, taking a deep breath in an attempt to cool her blood. "I see you're not wearing either of them."

"They- they broke."

Another crack, and another fracture.

"They saved my life, Lily," Sirius said quickly. "If I hadn't been wearing them, you would have-"

"Killed you?" Lily said when he stopped speaking. "I wouldn't have been there in the first place if you'd just come for me like I asked you to weeks ago!"

Lily was shouting, now, and she didn't hear the third crack. She was facing Sirius, standing out of arm reach, with her hands balled up in fists at her sides.

"Snape didn't give your watch to me until right before the battle!" Sirius said. "We were going to come right away, but then- I couldn't even get out of bed, Lily! I almost died!"

"I don't care," Lily snapped, and she really wanted to hit Sirius, to let out even the slightest bit of anger inside her. "My dad would have come for me. He never would have- would have left me there!"

"Lily, I'm not your dad."

"Stop lying!" Lily said, and, this time, she did close the distance to hit him, punching him square in the chest again and enjoying the hiss of pain he made as he grasped at it.

"Easy," he said, wincing again. "I've got a great big bruise, there."

"Then tell the truth," Lily hissed, putting her fists back at her side. "You've been lying to me since-"

"Lily, it's not what you-"

"SINCE THIRD YEAR!" Lily finished in a great roar. "You should have told me!" She meant to go on, then, but she felt a cool breeze on the back of her neck, and when she turned to look, she found that the window behind her was now completely shattered, little bits of glass strewn all over the floor.

"Lily," Sirius said tentatively, as if he didn't quite know if she was done shouting yet. "Snape told us what they've been feeding you, and, I promise, I- I wasn't lying to you."

"Yeah?" Lily said, crossing her arms and tapping her foot on the ground. She took another deep breath. "Go on, then. Lie some more. Can't hurt, can it?"

"I'm not your father."

Lily snorted. "So, I'm just a Metamorphmagus out of nowhere, then? The first Potter ever, from nothing?"

"Not from nothing," Sirius said quickly, "Lily, the Blacks and Potters have intermarried for centuries, before the family name changed from Peverell! It was only a matter of time before one eventually-"

"Stop lying!" Lily shouted. "I know! I saw it!"

"What are you-"

"Voldemort taught me how," she said, tapping two fingers directly under her eyes. "He made me- made me- Pettigrew saw you! He saw you kiss my mum!"

"That wasn't what it appeared to be," Sirius said, taking a long pause to consider. "That was-"

"What? A little friendly smooch?" Lily said, laughing hysterically. She was pacing, now, her boots crunching on the broken glass. "Yeah, we all go around kissing our best mates, eh? Perfectly normal, isn't it?"

"It wasn't like that, either," Sirius said. "It was- it was the night we found Ashley, Lily. The night those Slytherins locked her in the bathroom. We'd just- we'd just taken her to the Hospital Wing, where Pomfrey told us that she'd lose her leg. We just- just needed someone, is all."

Lily breathed again and closed her eyes. "Please don't lie to me."

"I'm not," Sirius said at once. "Not about this."

"Please. Just- Ashley said to tell me. I heard her. Just- just do it. Please."

"I'm not your father," Sirius said again. "Or- or I was never supposed to be."

"What do you mean?"

"Your father- James- went missing while tailing a Death Eater," Sirius said. "He was an Auror, and we thought one of his coworkers was a spy. He was under his cloak and tailed him all the way down to the Department of Mysteries."

"What does that have to do with-"

"Please, just let me finish. You'll understand in the end, I promise."

"Fine." Lily started tapping her foot again.

"He disappeared after following him inside," Sirius went on, his voice full of pain. "We thought he was dead. Everybody did, even Dumbledore. Most of the time, went people went missing, that was the only answer. We hardly ever found any bodies. One day, you'd have a pint with them, and the next- well, you'd never see them again. Your parents- they hadn't been married very long that point, they thought they'd have more time. Your mother was devastated, and- and so was I. I loved him, too, even if he never felt the same way."

"Just get on with it," Lily said when he paused to clear his throat.

"It was just comfort," Sirius said, his voice still thick. "That's all. Same as- as the night Peter witnessed. We just- we needed somebody else. Remus- he was taking it hard. He was refusing to see any of us, and- and I'm fairly certain that's when Peter went over. He thought James was gone, so- so he thought our side was a sinking ship, and he wanted off. All your mother and I had were each other. We got to drinking, and- well-"

Lily started tapping her foot faster.

"We regretted it," Sirius said. "Spent two weeks without contacting each other. And then- then James came back. He'd been gone a month, and just walked right back into our lives as if we hadn't been mourning him all along."

"What happened?" Lily asked in a quiet voice.

"The Department of Mysteries has all sorts of subdepartments," Sirius said. "The one he stumbled into was time. He saw the Death Eater steal something, and went to check out what it was. He found all sorts of little hourglasses they'd fastened to necklaces, in some effort to replicate Merlin's ability to time travel. Anyway, he tried to hurry after the spy, and he accidentally bumped into a really big one, knocked it right over. He said all he did was blink- and then, suddenly, everything in the room had changed, and there were people around him that hadn't been just a moment ago."

"He time travelled?"

"Went forward, yeah," Sirius said, speaking very quickly, now. "Just skipped straight past a month of his life. Dumbledore reckoned he was lucky he didn't get sent further- anyway, your mother and I, we told him what we'd done the instant he got back. We weren't going to hide anything, even if he was livid with the both of us. But- but he wasn't. He said he understood, and that he didn't blame us. It was strange to him, but he got it. We thought he was dead. And when your mother ended up pregnant, well- we all decided that, no matter what, you were his."

"But I might not be?" Lily asked.

"You are," Sirius said determinedly. "We never got you tested, but you are, Lily. You're a Potter."

Your father cares not for you.

"You're just saying that," Lily said, finally turning to look at him. He'd been crying, clearly, although he'd wiped them away.

"I'm not-"

"You just want to be rid of me," Lily said, gesturing to the room around her. "This is all just very convenient for you, isn't it? A nice excuse to ship me out, just like everybody else did? Pay the Weasleys to keep me, did you? Get tired of me?"

"This is just for your safety," Sirius said. "Grimmauld isn't safe, but as soon as Ashley and I find another place, we'll bring you to-

"Oh, Ashley!" Lily said, throwing her arms in the air. "You're just so ready to have a real family, aren't you? Did you actually break my watches, or did you just toss them in the bin the instant I wasn't looking?"

"Lily-"

"You're getting married," Lily said, pointing at his hand, where his ring was sitting. "Moving fast, aren't you? Got a little bun in the oven already? Ready for a real daughter? One that won't be such a tremendous disappointment?"

"That was just because Dumbledore-" Sirius took a deep breath. "Lily, I promise you, I'm not getting rid of you. I'll be here every day. We've already been looking at other places, so we can get out of this war. That's what we were discussing with the Order, while you had your rest. The Delacours have a wizarding village near them, where we've put up Bertha Jorkins, right near the sea. Dumbledore suggested it, and- and it sounds nice. We were thinking of getting a little cottage and just- just disappearing, so you can rest and heal."

"So you can just lock me away somewhere else, you mean," Lily said. "What's the plan, Sirius? Leave the instant you've put me in a loony bin? Is that where Jorkins is?"

"Lily, what are you-"

"Just stop," Lily said, now pointing at the door. "If you want me out of your life, I can't blame you, but I don't want to hear it. Get out."

"Lily-"

"Get out."

But Sirius just took the three steps needed to close the gap and wrapped his arms around her in a hug.

"Alright," he said quietly. "I love you, Lily. I know you're hurting, and- and I'm here, alright? You're safe, now. You can yell and shout at me all you want, I know you don't mean it, not really. As soon as you want to talk, I'll be there. I promise you. You're safe, Lily."

Lily was shaking when he let go, but she didn't look at him. The instant she heard the door click, she felt tears spill from her eyes, and she deeply regretted not hugging him back and apologising for all the stupid rubbish she'd just spilt. She was going to go after him, when the door opened again.

"Sirius!" she said, only it wasn't.

It was Ron and Ginny.

"Just leave me alone," Lily said, immediately turning away so they couldn't see her crying. She pulled her wand from her robes and aimed it at the window, and, in just a split second, all the glass was mended and in its proper place. She took another deep breath, but it was no good. Now, the shame that had been settling into her stomach was starting to turn into another simmering rage at the thought that Ron and Ginny had just been listening to her row right outside the door.

"Nice decorations," Ginny said casually. "I was wondering what you were doing in here."

"I didn't put them up," Lily mumbled, spinning her wand between her fingers.

"What?" Ron said. "Course you did, mate. Mum told us not to bother you while you unpacked, so we-"

"I didn't put anything up," Lily shouted, spinning on her heels to face the pair.

"Alright," Ginny said, raising her hands. "If you say so. Maybe mum did it for you."

"Yeah, it doesn't really matter," Ron said, stepping inside and closing the door behind the both of them. "Listen- what happened at the battle? Mum said Fred and George are hurt, but the Order hasn't told us-"

"Get out," Lily said at once, spinning her wand faster.

"I'm sorry Charlie told," Ginny said anxiously. "I really thought he'd go with them, but it took forever to wake him, and then he went straight to mum and dad and-"

"Get OUT!" Lily said, raising her wand and aiming at the two of them.

"Oi!" Ginny said, jumping to avoid a stinging hex Lily sent at her feet. "What are you on about?"

"GET OUT!" Lily shouted again, and, this time, her hex hit Ron's cheek.

"We're going, we're going!" he said, covering his face as Ginny wrenched the door open.

"We were only trying to- ow!" Ginny ducked back behind the frame of the door, but Lily's jinx had already hit her square in the nose.

"We'll talk later," Ron said, slamming the door a fraction of a second before her next spell would have hit him.

Lily breathed in, her hand shaking, and closed her eyes. Her scar was pounding again, a constant, terrible pulsing. She ran a numb finger from her right hand over it. The coolness of the digit felt good on her warm forehead.

She was being stupid. They were probably right- she probably was the one who decorated her room. She probably just didn't remember it, like the rest of her day. There was no use taking it out on the others. They'd just wanted to talk. She had no right to do as she did, they weren't the ones she was even angry at.

Lily let out another little shout, this time just from sheer frustration, and started storming towards the door, meaning to find Ron and Ginny and apologise for another stupid little tantrum, when she happened to pass her mirror.

Let them go, a voice said from it. Lily whirled, raising her wand again, but all she found was herself, reflecting her position, but with a smirk on her lips that the real Lily definitely was not wearing.

They're better off without us, the mirror Lily said. There was no noise as her lips moved- it was as if the voice was transmitted directly to her brain.

"Brilliant," she muttered, lowering her wand and watching her reflection doing the same. "I'm going mad again, then." Perhaps she should not have been so hasty in refusing the looney bin.