This chapter picks up precisely where the previous left off. You may want to take a look back a the end of that one to refresh your memory if it's been a while.
And actually, because your reviews and some additional chats via PM indicated to me that most people probably missed a decision that Loki came to near the end of the last chapter, you may want to take a look back at the last two sections. This was me trying to be very subtle...but there's such a thing as too subtle! I have changed, very slightly, the paragraph where Loki apologizes in the next-to-last section; specifically, I added two short sentences. So thank you, those of you chatted with me about this or mentioned what you took from that chapter in your review, that was so helpful. And extra thanks to "ladyblakeney99" and "Borax" for more discussion and letting me bounce ideas off you. I realize it still may not be 100% clear to everyone...but this was my compromise between subtlety and directness.
Without further delay, onward!
/
Beneath
Chapter Sixty-Seven – Trust
Jane's brows shot up toward her hairline. She wasn't sure how long she stared at the computer in fear of what Tony might say next, in fear of whatever she might say next, before she realized the connection had been broken. An error message on the screen said "Signal lost." Worst timing ever, she thought, and reached out to click on the "Return Call" icon.
Or…best timing ever. She paused, then moved her hand away from the mousepad. Why on Earth is he asking about Loki? He must have figured it out, but how? What do I say? She quickly reviewed the rest of the conversation. Sexy science. Flirting. Norse god of thunder. Santa Claus. Santa Claus…
Jane laughed in relief and lingering nerves. He asked about Santa Claus. He was kidding. It's what he does. He doesn't think Loki's here at the South Pole anymore than he thinks Santa Claus is. The more she thought about it, the funnier it was. Except of course that Loki really was at the South Pole, but it should be easy enough just to blow that off with a laugh.
The laughter died away. Tony put most other uses of the word "generous" to shame when it came to how he'd supported her here. SHIELD was paying for the actual slot and the travel to get here, through the research institute Tony set up for this sole purpose, but Tony had provided valuable engineering input, every bit of data and personal knowledge he had of the portals Loki opened on Earth as well as the bifrost events, exhausting moral support as she prepared to come here, and the offer of the use of his house – mansion, really – in Malibu when she left. And then there was the little detail of the arc reactor, without which she would not have been able to power Pathfinder. She hadn't yet met Tony in person; at this rate by the time she did she'd be keeping so many secrets she wouldn't be able to look him in the eye.
She was a little surprised that he hadn't tried to call back yet, but took a deep breath and pressed "Return Call." Instead of the melodic beeping that indicated an outgoing call, another error message came up: "Unable to establish remote connection."
"Great," Jane muttered. She figured someone had probably maxed out the bandwidth; it happened. It was also possible there was just a problem with the satellite connection in the first place. The only reason they even had this signal was because the satellite was old and wobbling in its orbit, and when it wobbled far enough in the right direction they got to take advantage of its extended reach. NASA wasn't exactly going to launch a multi-million dollar satellite to provide internet connectivity to the handful of people down here in the middle of Antarctica.
She tried again, just in case, but got the same error message. She went over to her e-mail account, but that had lost connectivity as well. She stared at her uncooperative computer for another few seconds, then decided to go get breakfast and come back and try again afterward.
She stood and picked up her radio from the desk to clip it to her belt, then nearly dropped it when it she heard her name come out of it. "Jane, Rodrigo, you up?"
Jane quickly recovered, then pressed the button to talk. "Yeah, everything okay?" she asked, wondering if there was indeed a problem with the satellite.
"Yeah. You've got a call, guy named Tony. Sounds kind of eager to talk to you."
"Hmph," Jane breathed out with a laugh. "I bet. Okay, be there in a minute." There was nothing she needed to do before heading out, so she went right to the door and strode to the opposite end of the corridor, turning right into Comms. Rodrigo was there at his computer, talking on one of the sat phones.
"Uh-huh…No…No, really…Uh, no, nothing like that, either…No, just…Oh, hey, Tony, sorry to interrupt, but Jane's here. Just a sec, I'm going to hand you ever."
Rodrigo pressed the mute button on the phone. "Who is this guy? I think he's seen Whiteout one too many times. Always with the monsters and zombies and whatever. He asked me if I'd seen the Abominable Snowman."
Jane shrugged. "My sponsor," she said with a smile. Whatever remaining nerves she'd had about Tony asking about Loki melted away with Rodrigo's words. In Tony's mind, she figured, Loki fit right in with monsters and zombies and the Abominable Snowman and that crazy killer from Whiteout. "Can I take the phone?"
"Yeah, sure, go ahead."
Jane took the phone off mute and started out of Comms and around the corner to duck into one of the unused Admin offices. If Loki saw her on a satellite phone things could get ugly. "Sorry about that," she said after confirming he was still there.
"That's okay, sweetheart, everything all right?"
"Oh, yeah. Sometimes the internet's kind of spotty is all."
"Good, good. No problems down there?"
"No, no problems. The equipment's doing great, thanks so much for all your help with that. And the atmospheric conditions are perfect. The data you can get down here is outstanding." Jane closed the office door behind her and went over to sit down at the desk.
"I'll look at it sometime, maybe. Well, probably not. Astronomy's not really my thing. And I bore easily. And when you figure out how to open up an Einstein-Rosen Bridge to outer space…just so you know, I'm not volunteering for that ride. Been there, done that, once was enough."
"Tony…how did you know I was-"
"Jane, please. You have a thing for a guy who lives on another planet. And you aren't the type to sit at home wringing your hands waiting for him to call. I may ignore all that stuff you send in now, but I read your research prospectus very carefully, references and all. I know it'll take a while to get there, but the direction of your research was pretty clear."
"Oh, well…" Jane was flustered, and reached out for the squishy little stress relief ball, blue with green blobs vaguely reminiscent of Earth's continents, that sat randomly next to a red plastic cup full of pens. I'm kinda there, Tony. I'm past there… But could she tell him? Should she tell him? Scientifically speaking, there was no fooling him. And he was right; when she'd first come here she was nowhere near the ability to open her own wormhole – she hadn't even been thinking about approaching that stage while still here, when there was so much still to learn about existing wormholes. If she said nothing, she was as good as lying. If she corrected him, he'd know she had help.
"Sorry, didn't mean to push any buttons. I don't have a problem with interspatial relationships, you know."
"Yeah, no, it's okay," she said, relieved that he wasn't going to press. "And Tony, when this is all over, I'd really like to sit down with you and fill you in on all the research, okay?
"Oh, I'll insist. We'll order in, call it a party. Pepper wants to meet you, by the way."
"I'd love to meet her, too. That would be great."
"Good, good, so, uh, nothing weird there, everything's cool? I saw Whiteout."
"I haven't seen it yet but I heard it's ridiculous. But weird? I'm living at the South Pole, the sun hasn't been above the horizon since March 22nd, and I haven't seen a speck of dirt since February 9th. Does that count?" It was an easy enough answer, and it wasn't even until after she'd said it that the other answer came to mind, that yes, there was a whole lot of weird going on here.
"No dirt, huh? I might have to check this place out. But hey, you never answered, when we got cut off, you haven't seen Loki around, have you?"
Jane dropped the stress ball; it gave a weak bounce or two and rolled off the desk and onto the floor. Loki. Santa Claus. Abominable Snowman. The words came back to her with a flood of relief after a moment of complete inability to move her mouth or even to think. Luckily Tony saved her from her still-sluggish thoughts.
"I don't mean Loki, literally, necessarily, I mean, somebody who maybe looks a little bit Loki-esque. Tall, dark hair, pale skin, massive superiority complex, partial to Johnnie Walker Blue Label and fits of wanton destruction?"
This isn't sounding like Santa Claus Abominable Snowman zombies random anymore. Jane tried to force some words out, not sure where he was going with this. "Um, Tony…I don't understand…"
"Yeah, sorry, I know. Listen, I don't want to freak you out…but do you know anything about a guy named Lucas Cane?"
Jane stopped breathing, and it felt like her heart stopped beating. The office was closing in on her. The station was closing in on her. All of Antarctica was closing in on her. There was no way it was a weird coincidence he was asking about Loki and now about Lucas. He shouldn't even have known Lucas existed.
"Jane? You there?"
Her mouth finally managed to open, but nothing came out. She was picturing Iron Man and Loki running through the corridors of the station and blasting away at each other, facilities and scientific equipment that had cost millions and taken years to build in this harsh environment reduced to heaps of rubble, people dying from being unlucky enough to be caught between them, or freezing to death as their shelter was destroyed.
"So…I can't actually see you, you know, and I don't hear anything. Jane…is that the sound of you freaking out?"
/
/
Loki logged on to a terminal in the Computer Room to check Jane's e-mail. He was running behind today, having slept later than he'd intended. He was usually up and about when Jane was still sleeping, and he typically used this time to peruse Jane's e-mail so she would have the incoming messages when she woke. It was always possible she'd slept in, but if not, then she would simply get the messages later. When his special e-mail account came up, however, instead of the usual list of e-mails for him to read and approve, a screen he hadn't seen before appeared, with the word "Alert" flashing in large red letters.
Dread filled him. He'd almost forgotten about this, for it had never once been an issue since he'd set it up two and a half months ago. "Improper VOIP call," the message below said. Two words triggered this program: "Lucas" and "Loki."
With another click he was reading the transcript. Caller ID on the number was blocked, but it quickly became clear that Tony Stark had called Jane. He forced himself to read slowly, word-by-word, and not skip to the end. There were many reasons Tony Stark might call Jane – he knew Tony had helped Jane with some of her equipment, including providing the power source for Pathfinder – and there were many reasons he might use the name "Loki."
Tony was speaking pointless nonsense, as he tended to do. Jane was trying to focus on her work, as she tended to do. He saw nothing of concern in it. And then: "I don't suppose you've seen Loki down there, have you?"
Loki sat back and laughed the laugh of the doomed and the cursed. It could be Tony's idea of a jest, but Loki didn't think so. No, it was the universe's idea of a jest. Yesterday. I was supposed to leave yesterday. If I had not gone…soft. The word burned. The very thing he'd accused Thor of. Who went softer, though, hm, Brother? I could not bring myself to hurt a woman who had not hurt me. You could not allow the destruction of Asgard's enemies. Look what your weakness has brought you now. All the realms rise up against you.
He rested his elbow on the table and his chin on his knuckles. Any thoughts he spared for Thor or Asgard or the other realms at this moment were nothing but avoidance of the problem he now faced. The problem that would not exist had he called out to Heimdall and taken Jane to Asgard as his hostage as he had planned to just the day before. Odin had probably convinced the very cosmos to conspire against him.
Tony Stark had asked about him less than half an hour ago. The program he'd taken from the menu of SHIELD's internet-based tools he still had access to introduced a very slight time delay, so Jane would have lost a few more words than Tony had managed to say before the connection was interrupted, but that was irrelevant. If Tony knew or even suspected he was here, his next move was clear, assuming he didn't just immediately don his metal suit and start flying south.
Loki had hoped to silence problematic communication with this program, and give himself warning of trouble. He'd hoped to prevent the name Lucas from accidentally spreading, and the name Loki from spreading in warning or threat. He'd hoped the internet connection was lost here frequently enough that no one would be suspicious about a suddenly dropped call.
But he'd set this up for a different set of circumstances, when Jane still thought he was Lucas. In his pride he'd refused to remove this trap, and now it might have made things worse. A dropped call wouldn't stop Tony. He was wealthy. He would go straight to the satellite phone. Buy his own satellite network if he had to.
Loki shut down the program, left the Computer Room, and hurried down to the Communications Center.
"Hey, Lucas," Rodrigo said before Loki could speak, facing away from his computers and toward the door. "Nice party last night. Sorry I had to cut out so soon. Early schedule, you know. And by the way, you are scary good against a piñata, my friend."
"I…thank you," Loki forced out, piñatas the last thing on his mind now. "Yes, it was fun. And very kind of Jane to plan all that. Actually, I was just looking for her, and someone said he saw her come this way."
"Yeah, she was here. She had a call on the Iridium."
"I see," Loki said with a nod, not surprised in the slightest. "Do you know where she went?"
"No, sorry. She'll be back by here when she's done with the phone. You want to hang out and wait?"
"Thank you, no. I'm sure I'll see her later."
Loki left. Jane could be anywhere. It didn't matter. He was already too late.
/
/
"Jane? You're officially making me nervous."
"Sorry, I'm here." He knows Lucas is Loki. He must know. Non-random repeated question about Loki, followed immediately by a question about Lucas. He has to know… But she wasn't going to be the one to say it first…just in case.
"So you do know a guy named Lucas Cane?"
"Yeah," Jane answered. She could hardly lie. Especially if he already knew the whole truth.
"All right, so here's the deal. And by the way, I want you take deep, cleansing breaths while I'm explaining this, okay? Like yoga. Have you ever done any yoga?"
"Uh, no, not really."
"You should think about it. For now just remember, deep, cleansing breaths. So a certain well-muscled blond we both know dropped by a while back, about a month and a half ago, and asked me for a favor. He wanted me to try to find his brother for him, without letting anyone know I was looking. Without letting anyone know Loki was on Earth. Deep cleansing breaths, Jane?"
"Uh-huh," Jane said automatically. She knew exactly where this was going, though she hadn't known Thor was looking for Loki.
"Thor knew his dad sent him to Saskatchewan, so I started searching there, but to make a long story short, I didn't find much. But back in the beginning of April we went up there to talk to this guy that took our favorite problem child to the see the local hockey team play – yeah, I know, it's on YouTube, he's got a baseball cap on and everything, rooting for the Melfort Mustangs. And we found out there, well, not in so many words, I guess, but basically Loki wanted to catch up with his brother's girlfriend in Tromso. Which, as you can imagine, didn't go over too well with the brother. Still there?"
"Huh? Yeah." Loki's baseball cap…the one he was wearing when we watched Miracle. The one that made him look so odd. And Thor…now he must think Loki wants to hurt me. He might have been right, in the beginning…
"After that I got my hands on passenger manifests for flights into Tromso and tracked them back to their origins, but nothing clicked, until I started searching all flights out of Saskatoon and tracking those passengers to their final destinations. There was one that stood out. He flew all the way to Christchurch, stopping in Sydney about the same time you were there, and he flew business and he paid in cash. His name is Lucas Cane and he's travelling on a Canadian passport that says he lives in Toronto, and somehow every security camera in every airport he passed through on his way managed to not capture him on video. Jane, he was on the plane with you to New Zealand. How do you know him?"
"Um, well, we met in Sydney."
"Okay. And?"
"And…"
"What happened?"
"Nothing. We…talked, for a little while."
"Uh-huh. He didn't try anything? And when's the last time you saw him?"
The moment of truth. Literally, Jane thought. "Last night." There was no point in lying. If he could get his hands on passenger manifests and security cameras and comb through a bazillion YouTube videos he could get South Pole records…or call up any of the other 48 people here and ask if they knew a Lucas Cane. Half of them had been at his birthday party last night.
It was Tony's turn to be uncharacteristically silent, but Jane wasn't volunteering anything more yet. "He got all the way to the South Pole?" Tony finally asked, before hastily adding, "Wait, he's not in the room with you right now, is he?"
"No. I'm alone," she said.
"Okay. Listen to me, Jane. Is there somewhere you can go to hide? Somewhere he won't know about, and won't think to look? I'm looking at a satellite view of the facilities there now, there's a lot of small buildings scattered around. I'll be there as fast as the suit can get me there, which is fast, so don't panic."
"No! Tony…no, you can't do that. You-"
"Sweetheart, it's a no-brainer. I'm not leaving you there alone with the guy who wants to make us free from freedom."
"It's the middle of winter, it's dark, it's cold, it's not-"
"I flew in this suit – well, not this suit – a suit into outer space and fell through a gravity wake and lived to tell about it. I think I can handle a little cold and dark. And I fixed the icing problem a long time ago. Jarvis, what temperatures will I hit down there?"
Jane heard a muffled voice in the background, while she tried to figure out what she needed to say to try to salvage this disaster.
"Ouch. Really? Okay, so I'll throw in some insulation. Run a couple of quick diagnostics. Jarvis, get on that right now."
"It's not that, it's…have you told anyone else about this?"
"Not yet. I called you first. Wait, what am I thinking? I'll contact Thor. He can cheat and go straight there. Jane, tell me where you'll be, and I'll get a hold of him as soon as we hang up. Scratch that, stay on the line."
"Tony, stop, listen to me, I need you to not freak out, okay? I'm sorry I was evasive before, but the truth is, I already knew Lucas was Loki. I've known for about a month. Nobody else here knows, just me. And it's fine. He isn't hurting anyone or causing any trouble. He's…well, I hope he's doing what he was supposed to come here to do, learn something from humanity."
"A month? You've been there with Loki for a month. And you didn't tell anyone. And he knows that you know?"
"He does."
"And he's…learning stuff about humanity?"
"Yeah. I hope so."
"Uh, Jane, you know that I love you, right? And that I mean that in the most platonic, I'm-completely-committed-to-Pepper way possible? So if I, I don't know, asked you to maybe take a nice close-up picture of your eyes and send it to me, what color would they be?"
"My eyes are brown."
"You sure? Have you checked lately? Do you have a mirror on hand? Good lighting?"
"They're brown."
"Why don't you just take a picture and send it to me, just for kicks? Make sure you don't get that red eye thing. I'll wait."
"Tony. They're brown. Loki doesn't have that spear thing, anyway. He's not making me do anything against my will." All the same, Jane's eyes darted around the room until they lighted on a small mirror hanging on the door; she made her way over while she was talking and confirmed that yes, her eyes were as brown as they had always been. "I really need you to not contact Thor, and please don't come down here yourself, either. There's no way that wouldn't turn into a confrontation, and the people down here would be caught in the crossfire. Please, don't tell anyone, especially not SHIELD. When I was still in Tromso Thor told me Loki was on Earth, and he asked me not to tell anyone, and I agreed, as long as Loki wasn't causing trouble. And he's not. Please, Tony, please just…let it go."
"Look, you know I've got no love for SHIELD. And I made pretty much the same promise to Thor about keeping mum. But keeping secrets about the safety of his lady friend from a guy who can summon his own lightning? That's not going to go over very well. Thor sometimes swings his hammer first and asks questions later. Been there, done that, too. And I don't wear the suit 24/7, you know."
"I know he's going to find out eventually. But I'd rather it come from me, and after the winter's over, and Loki leaves here. It's good that you know, really, because now if there is any trouble, I can call you. But you know what will happen if he finds out, just out of the blue, that Loki followed me here."
She heard Tony sigh. "Trouble with a capital T. Yeah. Reindeer Games is going to be dead immortal meat. Wait, that's an oxymoron. Reindeer Games is going to have his horns cut off at the stump. Well…Thor did send me a message that he didn't need me to look for Loki anymore."
"Why? What changed? And why was he looking for Loki in the first place?"
"He said Loki might be in some kind of danger from those other realms. And I don't know what changed. It was just a few days after we went to Canada. Goldilocks didn't come himself, he sent someone else with a sort of veiled message. That guy wasn't really in on the secret."
"Wanted like a war trophy…" Jane had let that little outburst slip to the back of her mind, since Loki had never explained it and she was certain he wouldn't be willing to, given his general refusal to explain what was going on beyond Earth.
"Okay, here's what I can do. Thor isn't expecting me to find Loki, or to contact him and tell him I've found him, and he doesn't even know that I kept looking anyway. So I won't contact him. But Jane, if he comes back and asks again, I won't lie. I can't do that. Not to Thor, and not about Loki. I'll have to tell him. Or, actually, I'll grab a suit and then I'll tell him. Maybe let Jarvis be the one to actually break it to him. And I'll call you and give you a heads up. How's that?"
"That's fair. I wouldn't ask you to lie to him."
"Jane…are you sure you're safe? You weren't here. You didn't see what this guy can do. He grabbed me like I was a sack of potatoes – a mostly empty, very light sack of potatoes – and threw me across a room and out a window from a skyscraper. I'd be dead if it weren't for a really impressive innovation I made on the suit."
Jane smiled, finally beginning to relax again. She could still make this work, still keep things peaceful. Even Tony was calming down, if he could talk about Loki nearly killing him and show off in the same breath. But then, maybe that was just Tony, calm or not. "Odin put some kind of magic spell on him. If he hurts anybody, he gets the same injury himself. So, yeah. No hurting, no killing, no throwing people out of windows, and we don't even have any skyscrapers here. I'm safe. It's fine, really. I was a nervous wreck at first, but it's okay now. He talks to me sometimes. And I'm trying to get him more involved in stuff here at the station."
"Uh-huh. Still want you to send me a nice close-up shot with no red eye."
She laughed. "Okay, sure. I can do that, if it'll make you feel better."
"It will. So…what does he do all day?"
"It varies. Sometimes he kind of hides out in his room. Sometimes he helps with my research. Last night he played Pin the Tail on the Donkey," she added for good measure, wishing she could see Tony's reaction to that. It was certainly a far cry from tossing people out of windows.
Tony was silent for a moment. "Please tell me you have pictures of that. That could cure depression."
"Sorry," she said with another laugh. "He doesn't like having his picture taken, for the obvious reasons. I really can't believe I'm telling you all this. It's such a relief, actually, to be able to talk about it."
"I really can't believe you're telling me all this, either. It occurs to me I might have eaten some bad mushrooms at lunch. If we do this, I want you to keep in touch. Every day."
"Tony, I can't do that. First of all, I don't think I could get away with hiding that from Loki. And it would make him really…well…not happy. I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone he was here. He insisted I swear to it."
"You didn't. I figured it out."
"And second, I don't manage to get online every day. Sometimes the connection's bad, and sometimes all the bandwidth is taken up by data packages from the scientists here, and sometimes I just get really wrapped up in my work and I forget, and we don't have connectivity all day. And we aren't supposed to use the sat phones that much. Remember, I've already been here with him almost three months, and everything's fine."
"Okay, I don't like it, but that makes sense. Every weekend, then. You contact me every Saturday. Your Saturday, I guess. My Friday. Starting a week from today. If something happens and you can't do it on Saturday, you contact me on Sunday. If you aren't able to use the computer on Sunday, you use the sat phone. If I don't hear from you by…11 PM here, 3 PM your time, I'll call you on the sat phone, and if I don't reach you I'm suiting up. How's that? Oh, and I want you to have a coded distress signal. Something that won't look suspicious…Pepper. Ask how Pepper's doing if you're in trouble."
"I can do that," Jane agreed, though she thought she'd better write it down. Secret plans and coded messages were not her thing, and the risk of simply forgetting once she was embroiled in her work was real.
"Good. I don't trust him, you know. I trust you. If you tell me you're fine, I guess I have to listen. As soon as you send me that picture."
Tony found a few more ways to ask if Jane was really going to be okay before he gave his final agreement and they said goodbye. Jane picked up the squishy little globe from the floor and put it back on the desk, then stepped back out into the corridor and turned back into Comms.
"Here you go," she said, handing the phone back to Rodrigo. "Sorry that took so long. We had some stuff to figure out. We were using VOIP but then we lost the satellite."
Rodrigo gave her a puzzled look. "We didn't lose the satellite. We haven't had any interruptions at all this morning."
"No? Oh…well…maybe it was just a problem with the website."
"Yeah, probably so."
Jane left and made her way slowly down the corridor, now all the way back to the other end. She knew it wasn't a problem with the website the VOIP came through, because she'd checked her e-mail and that was down, too. She easily reconstructed what happened right before the connection was dropped – Tony had just asked whether she'd seen Loki. Loki had admitted he was listening to her calls. Apparently he also had the ability to cut off her calls if he didn't like the subject, though it had to be automatic, because he couldn't be listening in real-time, so keyword based, probably relying on…
Jane's face contorted in a grimace. How he did it was beside the point. The problem now was that he knew what was said in that first call before it was cut off, or if he didn't, he would very soon. And that meant a confrontation was coming. And that meant Jane was going to need to figure out what she would tell him. This could be bad…
She picked up her pace and said a quick hello to the two people she passed in the corridor. She didn't want to run into Loki there. She turned right and went through the metal doors with their portholes into the berthing wing and quickly reached her door. She turned the handle, opened the door, stepped forward, then jumped back outside again.
Loki was slouching in her chair, feet flat on the ground, hands folded over his stomach, decked out in everything he'd worn in those images from Stuttgart, horned helmet and all.
"Come in, Dr. Foster. We have much to discuss."
Breathing hard from the shock of his presence there and the way he seemed to take over the entire room looking like that, Jane slowly stepped forward again and closed the door behind her. She watched as he lazily lifted a hand and swirled one finger around in the air, his eyes never leaving hers. He hadn't made it visible to her, but she knew what he'd done, and that no one would be able to hear them now, no matter how loud they got. She swallowed hard and reminded herself that even if he really lost his temper, he couldn't hurt her.
"Tell me, Jane, which part of our agreement, to which you swore an oath, did you fail to understand?"
She swallowed again and tried to make her hands stop trembling. His face was cold as ice, his words flat and emotionless and just as frigid. He was a king holding court, and she was an errant subject.
"I'm waiting."
She was grateful that at least he was sitting. If he stood, she might not be able to stop herself from fleeing in this sudden uncomfortable spike of fear. "I didn't tell him. You heard that, right? He called me. He figured it out by looking at flight patterns. But he hasn't told anyone else, and he's not going to. I explained that everything here was fine, that you're…that everything's fine, and that Thor didn't want anyone else to know you're on Earth."
Loki tightened his jaw in a brief wave of irritation; it was galling to think that if he remained unmolested here it was at Thor's command. There was nothing he could do about it, though, so he tried to return to his spark of enjoyment in the confirmation that if he put real effort into it, he could still elicit fear in her. But that was fleeting and left him empty. "What does he know?" he finally asked.
"He knows you're here. He knows you're Lucas. Thor wanted to find you-"
"Thor?" Loki shifted and sat up straighter. He could hardly imagine a worse scenario than Thor showing up here, now. Someday, if need be, he would face Thor again in battle, but not when his use of magic was impaired, and not when their meeting was not on his own terms.
Jane nodded, and repeated what Tony had told her about them going to Melfort and meeting a man who'd taken Loki to a hockey game, learning that he'd wanted to find her in Tromso, and Tony finding out that a Lucas Cane had flown from Saskatoon to Christchurch, on the same plane as her on the last leg. She explained that she'd told Tony how he helped with her research, and left out that she told him about Pin the Tail on the Donkey.
"So Tony Stark, the so-called 'Iron Man,' is simply going to go about his life while I remain here? He isn't going to tell his masters in SHIELD, or even Thor. Is that what you expect me to believe?"
"I think Tony would object to SHIELD being called his 'master,' but yes, that's the truth. He insisted I check in with him every weekend, and as long as I do that, he won't say or do anything."
"We shall see," Loki said, standing up. If they came he would simply have to be ready for it.
Loki positively towered over Jane with his helmet on and all those crisscrossing layers of leather and metal, and while it was really strange and unsettling to see him like this given what she associated it with, she found that her fear had already dissipated and she felt no need to escape. And after all, she'd just gotten done assuring Tony a half dozen times that she was safe here. "Nothing's going to happen. It's been almost three months, and you haven't…you haven't done anything. So there's no reason for him to think that's going to change."
He bristled at those words, though it was clear Jane hadn't intended to insult him. I haven't done anything. If only you knew, Jane. So they think that I've become docile, like a good Midgardian pet? That I've been a good assistant?
"I, uh…I didn't tell him about Pathfinder. There sort of wasn't a good time, I guess, and…"
"And you didn't wish to tell him," Loki finished for her. Interesting…
"It's just…it's going to raise a lot of questions, require a lot of explanations. And we can't use it anymore now anyway, so I think it'll be best to wait until after winter's over."
"You lied."
"I didn't lie. I just didn't mention it. Look, keeping him calm about you being here was enough to deal with in one conversation, okay? I didn't want to complicate things."
"You lied to all these people here. You told them it was my birthday."
"Technically I didn't. I said I wanted to throw you a birthday party."
"There were thirty-two candles on a cake for my supposed thirty-two years of life."
"I…Mari did that. She made the cake. I didn't want her to. I didn't want her involved at all. Some of her friends…the Chitauri did a lot of damage to the office she used to work in. So if you're trying to make me feel guilty, I-"
"I don't care about your guilt. I want to know if you're lying to me now."
"About Tony? No. You know where I stand on this. You know I don't want some smaller-scale version of what happened to New York happening here. Loki…" Jane felt a headache coming on and paused to rub her temple a moment. Suddenly she felt tired and drained and it was still early in the morning. "Would you please lose the helmet and dress normally?"
"I am dressed normally. What you've seen me wear here is decidedly not normal. But fine." He flicked a hand down his side and the illusion shimmered away, leaving him in boots, leather pants, and his dark green turtleneck sweater.
"And what you did to my e-mail, and my online calls, I need you to undo that."
"Would you have told me about Tony's phone call if you hadn't guessed I already knew about it?"
Jane opened her mouth. Say yes. Just say yes. "I don't know," she finally answered.
"Well, there you have it."
"Loki-"
"Don't push me, Jane," he warned. You have no idea how far I've already bent.
"But what are you worried about at this point?"
"Tony Stark lying. Tony Stark being unable to control his mouth. Anyone else finding out. You telling anyone else."
"I've already told you multiple times that I won't tell anyone. And I have to trust that Tony can keep a secret when he needs to. He wasn't lying to me. And if Tony tells me someone's coming…I'll tell you. Same as before, as long as you aren't hurting anybody."
"You would warn me," Loki said with a bit of disbelief.
"I just want things here to stay calm. Safe. And if you would trust me in this, it would make it easier for me to trust you."
"You already trust me far too much."
Jane looked at him curiously. I wouldn't go that far. "Trust is earned. And you've…well, you said you were going to take that whatever-it-is off of my e-mail. And you said you weren't going to threaten me anymore."
"I haven't threatened you," he said with a smirk that instantly faded, for he'd nearly done much worse than threaten.
"What do you call those horns you had on? But still, I knew you wouldn't go further. Because you haven't. Not since...you know. So what I was going to say was, yeah, you've earned it, mostly. And I'd like to think I've earned it, too. I told you I wouldn't tell, and I haven't."
"I don't trust anyone. Everyone I've ever known has betrayed me. Why should you be any different?"
"Betrayed you? Look…I…this doesn't change what you did. It doesn't mean I think that was okay. It doesn't mean I've forgiven you for that. It just means…it means exactly what I said. That I won't tell, and I'll warn you if I find out anybody's coming down here for you."
"Because you care," Loki said, lips twisting back into a smirk. He meant it purely to tease her, but as he said the words, something twisted in his gut. No one cared anymore, and the idea that of all people Jane Foster claimed to do so was quite ironic and decidedly uncomfortable.
Jane, meanwhile, took a steadying breath before answering. She regretted saying that yesterday, but it had come out, and now she had to deal with it. "Because I don't want to see the station destroyed or the Polies put in danger. Because I want you to be able to learn something here instead of winding up in SHIELD custody. And yeah, because I care, okay? Now, can we do this?"
Loki frowned. "All right, fine. We're agreed."
"I've heard that before. Not good enough. Do it right here on my laptop, in front of me."
His frown deepened. He hadn't actually decided yet if he would really shut down the e-mail program. "I thought this was about trust."
"We have a saying: trust but verify. And anyway, in this particular area you haven't earned it."
"All right," he bit out. "But I'll have to go to the Computer Room first. Your internet access has been disabled."
"Okay. Let's go. And Loki, please don't hang out in my room when I'm not here, okay?"
Loki shot her a look that at least in his view didn't quite meet the threshold of "threatening," then they both went down to the Computer Room, where he logged in and released the block on her internet connection and, right in front of her, approved the three incoming e-mails he hadn't bothered with this morning. He could hear the little huffs of air over his shoulder, Jane letting him know how displeased she was with this. Next they returned to her room, where he removed the program that monitored her VOIP calls for keywords, and the program that rerouted her incoming and outgoing messages to his account for review and approval. For little more reason than him not wanting to give in to her fully – in other words for his pride – he left in place the program that sent him a transcript of her calls.
"Is that all?" Jane asked when he was done.
He hesitated, and cursed his hesitation because he could see from Jane's reaction that she knew there was more. "Fine," he said again, then took down the transcription program. "That is all."
"Good," Jane said with a nod, then bent over and opened up her bottom desk drawer from which she pulled out a small bundle of gray and olive green.
"What's this?" Loki said when she gave it to him.
"Happy birthday."
"It's not my birthday."
"It wasn't yesterday, either. So?"
Loki gave a small laugh and shook his head. "So" indeed. Nothing here was making much sense anymore.
"Don't you give gifts for birthdays where you're from?"
"Of course we do. But past twenty, when we come of age, we only do it for certain milestones."
"That makes sense. If ties last as long as nets, you'd build up quite the tie collection after a few centuries," Jane said with a smile, trying to move things further along this lighter trajectory.
Loki was confused for a moment, but quickly realized she must mean that neckties were a common Midgardian gift. He wouldn't mind such a gift, if he wore the style of clothing worn so many places on Midgard. He was fond of the pure silk ones with vivid color. What he held in his hand, though, now that he was looking again, was not a tie, much less a silk one, but rather another of those shirts and sweatpants from the gift shop. The green shirt – sweatshirt, he now knew to call it by – had the USAP logo with the shape of Antarctica on the front and "90 Degrees South" on the back, and the gray sweatpants had "South Pole" in large white letters running down the outside of the right leg.
"Thank you. Though I do hope you don't expect to see me wear this." It was highly awkward for him. Because he didn't want more of these clothes. Because he didn't like what accepting such a thing implied. Because she'd been buying him a birthday present while he'd been trying to figure out how shallowly he would need to stab her to avoid doing serious harm. Because on Asgard, if a woman gave a man a gift, the man gave the woman a kiss in return. Between mere acquaintances it was only on the hand, but still…Loki glanced at her hand and could not even bring himself to consider it. Even such a casual gesture would signify more than he could allow. He thought about shaking her hand, but that was also too much. Too personal, too close, too… Too equal, Loki thought. Yes, too equal. We are not friends, and we are not workmates. We are two people stuck in an unpleasant situation that neither of us has a way out of. Two people forced into some measure of trust.
He left Jane in her chambers a moment later, answering only noncommittally to whether she would see him later in the galley and removing the sound blanket. He wasn't sure of much anymore; all his plans had come to nothing.
/
At the end of the last chapter, I meant to comment on the hunt flashback. I *so much* enjoyed all your review comments on that. It's fascinating to see how different people react so differently to a scene. Here's a few of my thoughts on it, if you're interested. Odin's (and in general Asgard's) views on hunting I based very loosely on the concept of the "fair chase." Here's a quote cited in Wikipedia, advocating fair chase: "Fundamental to ethical hunting is the idea of fair chase. This concept addresses the balance between the hunter and the hunted. It is a balance that allows hunters to occasionally succeed while animals generally avoid being taken." Loki, however, prefers to ensure a quick kill without causing undo suffering, without unnecessarily prolonging the hunt itself. And...he also wanted to show off a bit (not in a bad way, he just wanted his father to be proud of him). Thor is still in a hero-worship kind of mode with Odin, and it doesn't occur to him to question Odin's opinion, but he's still close to and relatively in tune with Loki here, and tries to still be supportive to his brother - though only once they're alone. And Odin, like so many other times, just doesn't realize what Loki needs, that simply chastising him and reinforcing the party line won't accomplish anything good with him. And Loki, as several of you noted, looking back on it only remembers that Thor took Odin's side, not that he also praised Loki's skill. So this is what I had in mind, but I tend to leave things open a bit, and other interpretations are often possible.
Previews for Ch. 68: Loki wrestles with the implications of his decisions; Loki and Jane chat (you know, they do that sometimes now!); Loki gives in on a social activity; Loki does a little light reading. (This man should really not be given books.)
Excerpt (Loki, then Jane speaking):
"It's working, by the way."
"Pathfinder?" she asked in confusion.
"No, your diabolical scheme to force me into more activities with our fellow winterovers."