Joel had not spent so much money in two days since he'd had a preteen daughter with a love of shopping. Ellie didn't like shopping, but she loved doing things. She was the fidgety, tapping, humming definition of restless energy, and she was game for any pursuit that could channel that energy. In other words, she was a kid who needed lots of attention and activities but had parents who hardly noticed her. That thought sent Joel lumbering to the car and pulling out his wallet at Ellie's every request. Over the weekend, they had done, in no particular order: laser tag, bowling, arcade (Ellie won a stuffed cat in a claw machine), Build-a-Bear (where she made an even larger stuffed cat), and a climbing wall.

Tommy and Maria had joined Joel at laser tag and bowling. Bria, and Dina, who was apparently also staying the weekend while her parents were away, joined Ellie as the trio sprinted around shooting other kids. The girls had even convinced the three adults to join them in a three-vs-three laser tag battle, where the kids absolutely annihilated them.

"Doggonit." Joel had shrugged off his gear with a groan as they left the laser tag arena. "How were you that fast? And so quiet?"

Ellie grinned as she followed Joel, Bria, and Dina at her heels. "I can be quiet when I want to be."

"Can you want to be quiet more often, then?" Joel retorted. "It was so nice."

Ellie snorted. "Yeah, until I shot you."

"Until then." Joel agreed. "Well, how about we head back-"

"A bowling alley!" Ellie exclaimed, her feet suddenly rooted in place. She pointed across the arcade complex to where Joel could hear the familiar sound of pins tumbling. "Can we go, Joel? Please?"

Joel sighed. This weekend, he was a yes-man. "Fine."

"Can we go too, Mom? Please please please!" Bria begged Maria, Dina by her side.

Maria sent Joel an exasperated glance. "Oh, fine."

"Yes!" Ellie started walking over with Dina by her side. "Is it true that you have to wear different shoes?" Joel heard her ask.

"Yeah, it's kind of gross. Have you never gone bowling before?" Dina replied, startled.

"I did a long time ago at a birthday party. I was, like, five and I won the game." Ellie laughed. "This one boy was so mad I beat him. He shoved me into a wall."

"Geez." Dina's eyes widened. "That sucks."

Ellie shrugged. "I stabbed him with a pencil later, so it's all even, I guess."

"What?!" Bria gaped at her. "Why did you even have a pencil at a bowling alley?"

Ellie jumped into a fake karate pose. "Always gotta have a weapon." She pretended to chop at Dina, who giggled.

Ellie was smiling, but Joel didn't miss the dark glint in her eyes. At the age of five, she'd already learned to always have a weapon. And she wasn't afraid to use it.

Joel wondered if he should buy a safe for his gun.

"Wait, is this a bar?" Ellie shook Joel out of his memories. "Why are we getting dinner at a bar?"

Joel shook his head as they climbed out of his truck. "It's a restaurant too, it just has a bar. They serve the best barbecue I've ever had." If it wasn't for that redeeming quality, Joel would never have come here. He'd frequented this bar in his darkest days and when he was freshly sober, he flinched from the memories within its walls. After a couple years, Tommy had dragged him there after selling him on the merits of the barbecue. For the last decade, Joel had become a semi-frequent visitor.

Ellie grinned. "Now we're talking." They went into the cozy, rustic bar and took a table in the corner. Joel ordered ribs for both of them, then sat back with a sigh. It had been a busy day. He hadn't had such a busy, non-work day in a long time.

Ellie didn't seem to feel the same weariness. She gazed around the room, then leafed through the sauces at their table. Giving up on that, she wrapped her arms around her knees and held the position for all of ten seconds before dropping one leg to the ground. She scowled as she picked at a hole in her jeans. Joel chuckled softly.

"What?" Ellie muttered, her darting eyes focusing on his.

"It's ok, you know." He told her.

Ellie blinked in confusion. "What's ok?"

"Doing nothing." Joel settled back in his chair. "Some people even find it relaxing."

Ellie snorted. "Sounds like something an old man would say." Joel simply closed his eyes. After a few moments, Ellie sighed. "It's hard to relax when it's Sunday night and they'll be back soon." Joel said nothing. The silence stretched on. "My mom's ok sometimes, but most of the time, she's so out of it. Like sometimes I'll say her name and she's right in front of me, but she won't even hear it. When she's actually there, she's nice to me. We'll watch TV together or cook or something. But even then, she never takes me to do cool stuff like laser tag. And when I tell her stories, I don't think she really listens." Joel heard a creak as Ellie presumably leaned on the table. "Honestly, I don't know if she likes me."

Joel tried to imagine Ellie sitting down to watch TV. Standing patiently in the kitchen measuring ingredients into a bowl. He couldn't. He couldn't see this wild, antsy kid wanting to do either of those things. Unless those were the only things her mother wanted to do. A mother who never paid attention to her daughter, who was desperate for her attention.

Joel opened his eyes. "Ellie-"

"Here's ribs for y'all!" The cheerful waitress broke the moment. "Enjoy!"

Ellie frowned at her plate. "What am I looking at?"

Joel put down the rib that was already halfway to his mouth and stared at her in disbelief. "You're telling me you've lived in Texas your whole life and never had ribs?"

"No. Whose ribs are these, anyways?" Ellie made a face as she gingerly poked the meat. "Hope I don't know them."

"Unless you're acquainted with pigs and cows, you probably won't." Joel pretended to think. "Then again, those do sound like the type of friends you'd have."

"So funny." Ellie rolled her eyes. "Want to be useful and tell me how to eat them?"

Joel raised his eyebrows. Then he grabbed a rib, ripped it off, and took a bite.

Ellie gaped at him. "Wait, actually?" Joel nodded. Within moments, both of her hands were covered in barbecue sauce as she ate from ribs in both hands. "This is my kind of meal."

"I figured as much." Joel replied. The two devoured the racks, ordered another one each, and devoured those too.

Ellie burped. "I can't believe I've never tried these before." She groaned. "They're so good."

"And messy." Joel gestured to her stained, yellow shirt.

"That's why they're so good." Ellie retorted.

"We need to get you some new clothes." Joel said. "I've already seen you wear that shirt too many times."

"Ugh." Ellie sighed. "I hate clothes shopping."

"I don't care. You can't wear the same three shirts all the time." Joel pointed out.

Ellie's bright green eyes flicked to his, then away. "Hey, Joel?" She started, sounding strangely nervous. Joel's brow furrowed. "You know how you said a couple days ago I need another option? Like, other than my parents?"

Joel remembered that – and her harsh, deserved retort. "I probably shouldn't have said that." He said after a pause. "It wasn't fair to you. You're a kid, you can't do anything about who you live with for the most part. Not unless there's another, easy option."

"I guess, I was thinking," Ellie was fiddling with the saltshaker on the table. "what if you were my other option?"

Joel blinked. "You mean, living with me?"

"Well, I basically just lived with you this weekend, right?" Ellie pressed. "And you're talking about getting me clothes and stuff. So, why not?"

Joel sighed. "Ellie, there's a big difference between spending a fun weekend with someone and that person raising you. The fun uncle isn't always cut out to be a dad."

"But that's not a problem with you." Ellie's eyes were bright with hope. "You were already a dad."

Joel inhaled sharply. He felt like the girl had punched him in the stomach. "What did you just say?"

Ellie held his gaze. "Bria told me about Sarah." She said. "And I saw all Sarah's stuff in her room-"

"You went in her room?" There was anger in Joel's quiet voice.

Ellie crossed her arms. "I was curious, ok? You showed me every room except that one. I wanted to see what was inside. But since you were already a dad, maybe you could adopt me or something-"

"Stop." Joel growled.

"and I could stay with you." Ellie finished, her eyes locked on his. "Come on, you said it yourself! I need another option and-"

Joel slammed his hands on the table. Ellie flinched at the sound. "STOP!" He yelled. He saw a few other diners turn to look at him, but he didn't care. "You had no right to go in her room. No right to say her name." He snapped.

Ellie breathed deeply. "I'm sorry you lost her, Joel." She said quietly. "I really am. But she doesn't need your help anymore." She met Joel's eyes, and he saw a vulnerability she'd never shown before. "I do."

Under the table, Joel's fists clenched. "You are not my daughter." He growled. "You will never take her place in my life." He shoved himself to his feet. "Get up. I'm taking you home."

Joel had only made it a few steps out of the restaurant when something shoved him from behind. He stumbled forward, then turned to see a furious Ellie glaring at him.

"Fuck you!" She screamed. "You get to walk away. You get to get in your car and go to your house, where you're safe. I don't have that! I've never had that! The only place I've ever fucking felt safe is- is with you!" Her voice broke as she shoved him again.

Joel took in Ellie's red eyes, her clenched fists. It was too much; it was all too much. He never should have taken her in, acted like her guardian. It had only led them to more pain.

"I'm sorry." Joel couldn't look at her. "I can't do this."

"You and your girlfriend breaking up?" A dangerously familiar voice laughed. Joel turned to see a man with a scraggly beard and several missing teeth climbing out of a rusted pickup truck. He grinned at Joel as he slammed the door shut with an awful scraping sound. "She seems a little young for you, Joel."

Joel managed a quick glance at his watch. Just past 10 PM. Shit. He hadn't meant to stay this long, and now he was going to pay the price. He grabbed Ellie's wrist and pulled her toward his truck. "Come on, we're leaving." Ellie's face had turned pale. She followed him without a word.

"Hey now, don't you want to stay and chat with some old friends?" The man called after them. Joel glanced back to see several other men had gotten out of the car and were following them.

"Leave us alone, Adrian." Joel snapped. "We're leaving. The bar is yours."

"At least tell us who the girl is." Adrian's voice was uncomfortably close. "You can tell an old drinking buddy, can't you?"

Joel turned to face Adrian. The man's glazed eyes sent a jolt of fear through him. "Look-"

Ellie's shriek cut him off. "Let me go!" Joel spun to see one of Adrian's buddies digging his fingers into Ellie's arm. Before Joel could do anything, she punched him in the crotch. He let out a choking scream as he fell to his knees. Joel shoved him away with a furious kick to his head.

Adrian's face twisted in rage. "You-" He pulled his hand back to punch Joel, but Joel grabbed his wrist before he could complete the movement. Joel pulled Adrian to him, and Adrian froze when Joel pressed a knife to his stomach.

"Have you ever wondered what a fish feels when you gut it?" Joel growled. Adrian bared his teeth and Joel dug the blade in just enough to draw blood. He could hear Ellie breathing fast behind him, one of her hands clinging to his leather jacket.

Finally, Adrian laughed. "Fine. Keep your secrets." He yanked away from Joel and gestured for his buddies to follow him. "See you around, Joel."

"Go." Joel growled once they had turned their backs. Ellie didn't hesitate. She ran to the passenger seat, and in moments, they were peeling out of the bar parking lot like a bat out of hell.

I'M BACK! Sorry this update took longer than I thought it would, life got crazy busy, but rest assured I'm back and writing again! I'm already a couple chapters ahead, so plan on regular weekly updates from now until I finish this thing. And please keep leaving comments, I really I appreciate them!