Chapter 8: Uncertainly Promising
I find it hard to decide
The way to make up your mind
Your lips are better than mine
So you can kiss this goodbye
For her second test Azalea expected a physical challenge or maybe another written test, she was not expecting to be greeted by the princess and taken on a shopping spree.
Cresseida's beautiful curls were moved by the summer breeze as the two walked toward their next destination. She looked effortlessly beautiful and carried herself with such ease and grace that Azalea was in awe. It was both admiration and a desire to be that way once she became the lady of Summer.
'There's time to think about that later. Now what do I get for Ness?' She thought as she carried her bags.
Azalea had picked presents for everyone. Summer dresses for her mothers, a new sword for Tamarand, a book series for Lucien, a flute for Tamlin, and jewelry for Clare. She was torn on what to get for Nesta. 'She's not a jewelry lover, and after all that forced training, she might not want weapons...A book! No, she's still going through the library at home. A dress? She does want to travel...Ugh! I should just kidnap Eris and wrap him in a bow for her. That's something I'm sure she'd like!"
"Azalea."
"Sorry, I was thinking! What do you need, Cresseida?"
"I just asked, were you involved with anyone before my cousin."
"Ah, you'd have to specify, do you mean romantically or sexually?"
Cresseida seemed surprised the question didn't bother her. "Both if you're willing to indulge me."
"Sexually I've had 6 partners, three men and three women. I have nothing against casual sex but all the partners I've had were people I trusted. I feel such an act is very vulnerable and I only wish to engage if it's someone I both fancy and trust.
Out of those 6 partners I have been romantically involved with two. The first one was my first love. We were childhood friends and he was of a higher standing than me. Still, we connected and became a couple as teens. Sadly his family arranged a marriage for him with a Day Court countess and while we didn't wish to part he was as attached to his family as me. I knew that my love wouldn't be enough to make up for the possible rejection of his family. So we parted amicably. We remained friends and occasionally wrote to each other. The last he's told me is that his dear wife is with child and I requested a mini portrait of the baby. He's quite happy and I am certain he's been a wonderful husband and shall be an even better father.
My second and most recent relationship..." She had to pause as pretty hazel eyes crossed her mind along with a mischievous smile she hadn't seen in two years.
"You don't need to tell me if you don't wish to. Seems like it still pains you."
"Yes, but it's healing to speak of it. In any case, this was a somewhat recent experience. We were together for a couple of years, and I was certain we'd get married and start a family. Our social standing was equal and her family was close to mine as well. We should've made it. We didn't...
I breached the subject of marriage to her. As far as I could see she wasn't interested in such a union. Children too were also a point of contention. She wanted none while I've always craved a big family. In the end, we fell apart shortly before the war began. She wanted us to run away and take to the sea, apparently, this was a dream of hers for years. I refused, not wanting to leave my family and court behind. She was not happy with that answer and wouldn't be swayed from this. I cried myself to sleep the night she vanished. Since then I know nothing of her, but her family perished during the war. I'm unaware if she's informed or if she would care to be told. Last I heard, she became a Corsair. I do hope her dream serves her well and that she's safe."
"I see. What's her name? Perhaps she's a corsair here in Summer."
"Violet Reed."
Cresseida smiled. "You're in luck, she was here last month and we struck up a contract. It's likely we'll see her again in the coming months."
Since the night Violet vanished, Azalea had been dreaming of a chance to see her again, to just speak to her one more time. She finally had it, but it didn't feel as joyous as expected.
"The decision weighs on you. Do you perhaps want to be with her rather than Tarquin? Because I've given this situation a lot of thought and perhaps I should be the one to take up an arranged marriage for the alliance."
"Wait what?! Why so? I thought Tarquin was willing to do this."
"He is, but I need to know if you are.
You have the chance to go back to the woman you love or to carry on with this engagement. I won't fault you if you chose the former and neither will Tarquin. Though he is rather fond of you from what I've seen.
What shall you do?"
She smiled and answered without hesitation. "I won't give up a bright future for an idealized past.
Violet is an amazing woman and I wish her nothing but happiness, but even if she'll always have a special place in my heart I know we wouldn't last a lifetime. Her wants and needs are different from mine, and neither of us would want to give up our dreams for the other. In another life, we might be eternal but in this one we were temporary.
And even if she came to me wanting the same as I do, telling me what I wished to hear before I'd have to refuse her. My duty and my heart now lie with Tarquin.
I'm a woman of my word and I intend to follow through on my deal, not just out of duty but out of love. The truth is I've been charmed by Tarquin since we met and with every passing day my affection for him grows. I can see us having a loving and healthy relationship once I prove myself. I'm not giving that up for anyone or anything."
Cresseida had listened attentively to her as they walked to their destination. The princess abruptly stopped and smiled brightly at her and was slightly mischievous. "Congratulations Azalea, you passed the second test."
"That was my test?!"
"Yes. I can tell you're respectful and intelligent, but in my cousin's and my court's best interest, I wanted to test your loyalty.
Unlike you, Tarquin has never been in a romantic relationship and I didn't want him to get into one with someone who wasn't fully committed. My apologies for the slight deceit."
"No, I understand. I'd do the same for my brother in a heartbeat. Glad to hear I've passed another test."
They resumed the shopping and she finally found something she thought Nesta would enjoy. Azalea made sure to get all gifts wrapped and ready and waited until lunch to give Cresseida hers.
"Here's yours!"
"You...You bought something for me?"
"Of course! You invited me out and we are going to be family! I really wanted to get you a cute present!"
The princess was about to cry and Azalea panicked.
"Oh, I'm sorry did I upset you? Was this rude? Books didn't say anything about gift giving."
Cresseida quickly composed herself. "No, not at all! On the contrary, it is very sweet of you to do this. I'm not used to getting simple gifts like this..."
She opened the box to find a cute bracelet with pearls and shells. It was simple but beautiful and she could tell that the gesture was done out of love rather than greed or fake flattery.
This time Cresseida didn't hold back her tears. "Thank you, I love it! This is a gorgeous gift. You're very kind."
"Glad you liked it!" Azalea noticed the princess was still sad so she took her hand. "Cresseida, are you okay?"
"Yes. I'm fine it's just that- I've never really had any close friends. Most ladies at court just sought me out to elevate their status or for favors. You're the only one I know who's treating me like an actual friend."
"If that's the case then I'll be happy to keep doing so! Count me in as your friend! Even if I don't marry Tarquin!"
"I shall do so, though I'm certain you shall marry my cousin."
They finished their lunch and went back to the palace, Cresseida was summoned for a meeting but quickly let her know where Alana was so she could see her before returning to Spring. Azalea rushed to hug the dolphin who was waiting for her at the shore.
"You've gotten so big! I can't wait to see the kiddies!" She talked as Alana basked in the affection.
Azalea let Alana guide her deeper into the ocean as more dolphins came, even a chestnut-colored male who was extremely close to Alana. He was probably her mate.
"Introducing me to the family? I'm so flattered! You're all so pretty!"
She lost track of time as she was waist-deep in the ocean playing and talking to the dolphins. Azalea was so distracted she didn't notice someone sneaking up behind her and covering her eyes. However, she immediately recognized the soft hands she'd grown to like so much.
"Your majesty, I'd much prefer your hands placed somewhere other than my eyes."
As expected she was let go and greeted with the sight of an adorably flustered high lord.
Tarquin had discarded his elegant tunic back at the shore and once again he looked absolutely beautiful with water all over his bare chest and dampening his white hair.
She couldn't help but run a hand through the wet locks. "You've gone silent, handsome. Are you considering my suggestion?"
His breath hitched but he quickly cleared his throat. "As tempting as that might be, I came here to congratulate you. I have been told by an ecstatic Cresseida that you've passed her test."
"I am very devoted to my future court and husband!"
"You're also devoted to flustering me." He protested trying to hide his blush.
"Um, but you're too pretty not to fluster! It makes you look twice as handsome!" She continued teasing letting her hands travel down to his chest.
Tarquin chuckled but quickly grabbed her by the wrist with one hand, and wrapped the other around her waist, pulling her close so that they were pressed chest to chest.
His voice seemed to turn slightly deeper as he whispered in her ear. "Don't tease me too much before we are wed, my dear. Unless you'd like my hands to wander all over your gorgeous body."
Despite her face going as red as a fresh tomato Azalea continue her teasing. "Mmm and just how worried should I be? When I have been craving the touch of those hands all over me since we last saw each other."
She knew she won when she saw Tarquin sweating and laughing yet keeping his blue eyes on her. "If we don't stop now we might traumatize the dolphins."
For a moment she'd forgotten about them. They were all staring and looking smug, Alana especially. 'That type of expression shouldn't even be physically possible for them.'
"I agree, but don't think I won't hold you to those promises once my tests conclude." She told him with a gentle kiss on the cheek as she walked out of the water.
Tarquin said nothing but she could feel him staring at her and smiling. She picked up a cute small box from her bag and gave it to him. "Here, I got you something!"
"That's very sweet of you! Thank you!"
His eyes sparkled upon seeing the gorgeous wood carving of a sea horse she'd bought for him.
"You told me they were your favorites, now you may have one even when you're on land."
"Thank you so much, I love it."
Tarquin noticed the bottle remaining inside the box, it looked like an ointment.
"I had them wrap your potion request along with the figure. Just tell the patient to apply it over their closed eyes before going to bed. It shall yield results slowly from the spell descriptions and state of it but at least in two weeks they should regain some vision."
"Thank you really. This is more than I could ask for in a bride." He said as he hugged her gently.
Those words and hug got to her, and Azalea couldn't help but return the gesture and hope she passed her last test soon, if only to finally call this wonderful man hers.
"You look like you took a deep dive on the lake and floated back up as a corpse."
Lucien laughed at Nesta's joke. They were floating on the lake while stargazing. Off in the distance, he saw Clare and Tamlin playing with the fireflies while Vassa kept pulling on Jurian to go take a soak with them all.
"I may not look the best, yet the view makes up for it, right?"
She chuckled. "That's true. Stars are always nice to look at..."
The air of sadness didn't get lost on him. "Nesta, do you miss them?"
"Sometimes. I definitely miss the Valkyries. I miss my house and I miss an acquaintance I had that helped us pass the rite.
The rest I thought I did miss, but time has helped me realize that I shouldn't miss them. They locked me up like a monster and worked me to the bone, hoping I'd cave and I did. Then he...He never truly tried, he just relied on my state and the mating bond for me to want him. I'm never going to forgive that!"
"You shouldn't. I promise that when all of this is over we will go there again and you'll reunite with your friends."
"Thanks. I'm glad to have you as a friend too.
Lucien, I feel like I owe you an apology for how I acted regarding you and Elain. When we first arrived in Prythian and were newly turned she was falling apart and I had to keep her together. Then you came to Night and I thought that the mating thing could send her spiraling again not to mention that after the war she didn't seem all that interested so I thought it'd be best to discourage you.
Now that I have more clarity and know your true character I can say that I was wrong. You were very kind and respectful towards her and had she put in effort perhaps she'd have an absolutely amazing mate by her side. I'm sorry for not realizing that sooner and helping you."
"You don't need to apologize Nesta. While I was not about to risk your rage unprompted if Elain had wanted me to court her and for us to grow close no one else would've discouraged me. But I'm not one to chase illusions, much less when they hurt my friends.
Whatever could've been between us will remain hypothetical. I have no regrets about that."
"Heh, seems like Elain got the better mate after turning."
"Perhaps not. I doubt you'd want someone whose heart belongs to another." He said while looking at Tamlin trying to catch the glow bugs. The blonde always looked so lovely when he smiled.
"At the very least you would've respected my wishes to be left alone, and kept me out of Night."
"Nesta, if it had been us the moment they mentioned imprisonment I would've dragged you out of that court and gotten you here and to rehab. Bond or no bond.
Though if I may say, I think you'd have better luck with another prince of Autumn."
She knew what he meant, and splashed him for it. Lucien just laughed.
"I don't discard that possibility, but for now recovery shall be my priority. I'll miss you all, but return a better person."
"You've always been the better person there, and while we shall miss you too we'll cheer you on. Enjoy this pretty world until we come back, with news."
'Most likely news of war' But this last part he kept to himself.
"Look at them, how did you manage to have them all entertained and happy for so long?" Jurian asked Vassa.
The former queen smiled, staring at her friends. It had been a week since they came to visit and she was already dreading their departure tomorrow.
"They needed a breather and we provided it. That's all there is to it. I remember how you both helped me when I was tossed into this uncertainty."
Koschei and the other queens had once taken her livelihood and body from her, so Vassa knew exactly how Nesta and Clare felt.
She'd been freed by Lucien and Jurian and since then she'd sworn to return the kindness and protection the two had given her. On days when she didn't want to take a bite of food or was terrified of the fire that consumed her every sunrise, they would remain there unconditionally. That in time kept her happy and sane, which was why she would provide it for them and their other friends in turn.
Her blue eyes fell upon Lucien. The redhead prince was the sibling she'd always wanted and despite missing his presence she was happy to see him thriving. Lucien was talking to Nesta calmly until they were both startled by Tamlin and Clare jumping onto the lake with enough force and precision to cause waves.
Everyone laughed and continued to enjoy the nightly soak, but she noticed Tamlin and Lucien were particularly close to one another. Jurian had noticed too, they both grinned at each other and understood without saying a word.
While the reveal of his true parentage and the restored Spring had brought him immense joy, they both had noticed their dear friend couldn't stop smiling when speaking about Tamlin and his recovery. Whenever the name of the former High Lord crossed his lips Lucien would smile brightly and gush endlessly. It was all she needed to know that being close to him again was the greatest joy Lucien had, and as such she would do what she could to help them.
"I don't know how we ever thought he could make things work with the flower girl. Look at them now, all mesmerized and cuddly! All that's left to do is plan the wedding!"
She joked and turned to look at Jurian who was staring at her in the exact same way. Vassa relished in it.
"Seems like I'm talking to myself, thought you didn't want to give me more of an ego yet here you are starting at me in such a manner. Most ladies would find such a lustful stare disrespectful."
"You're not most ladies. I'm aware of the effect my devotion has on you. It's quite thrilling for me too."
"Oh? The mighty general wants to be subdued by his queen? You're not one to take orders."
"Then force me into submission, your majesty."
Vassa grabbed him by the hair and pulled him down to her level for a kiss. The cold water of the lake did little to calm the fires of lust that threatened to overtake them.
"I'll gladly fulfill your request tomorrow night, for now, you may only long for me. There's work to be done and we both know it."
Jurian chuckled. His voice always seemed to turn deep when he lusted after her. "As you command, mistress."
Devious, he was always a devious one when they played these games, but she didn't mind it all.
Vassa could remember adorned halls and extravagant dresses and fine jewels, yet an empty heart. Before being cursed her family was pushing her to marry a lord from a distant kingdom. She refused and would've kept on refusing for her crown kept her safe. Still, she knew in time she'd have to take a king consort and wed, likely for political gain.
Those days were now so far gone her memory blurred. Now her days were spent barefoot through the fields, soaking in the lake, and hiking through the forests beside the two people she loved most. One a brother and one her king.
Jurian was all she'd wanted and never thought to have, a devoted, kind, strong yet sensible man who absolutely loved her. Even if they demonstrated that love with teasing. He saw her beauty but also the fire within, and never once was he afraid to be burned.
She took his hand, lifting it from under the clear water and gently kissing it. The gesture caught him off guard and Jurian blushed profusely at the affection. "You're spoiling me."
"Surely you can bear that for now. I intend to spoil you more until we part. Pray that comes to pass in decades rather than months. We might be facing the battlefield again."
"That I feared. But strangely enough, I'm less worried. I have my flame beside me. That is all I wanted."
With that, they swam over to join the group as they spent their last night together before parting for Spring.
Yes there might be war on the horizon and until then they'd have to overlook Lady Acheron's recovery but for now, Vassa had everything and everyone she'd ever wanted.
Not even the Mother herself would take that from her without a fight.
He didn't expect visitors at first light. Lucien woke before dawn took over the sky and went outside only to find Asteria, Helion, and Eris windowing in front of the manor.
"First thing in the morning and I have to see your smug grin, huh." Lucien joked as he went over to hug his brother.
"Don't like I'm not a sight for sore eyes!" Eris answered. "But we're not here just to look lovely. We need to talk to Vassa, immediately."
"Come on in. I'll get her."
The group waited in the study as he went to fetch Vassa. His friend was sleeping on one of the many sofas they had, letting Jurian sleep on her lap, even if he snored.
"Wake up, lovebirds. We have company."
"Not a bird, not for another hour at least" Vassa muttered.
He rolled his eye and all but carried the sleepy duo. Asteria chuckled as she them stumbling in. "Lucien, we could've waited no need to drag them."
"They need to learn how to rise with the sun. She once burned a bed!"
"One time, and it was fixable." Vassa rubbed her eyes and stretched before bowing. "Sorry for the wait everyone. Not much of a morning person. Lucien says you needed me."
"Yes, your majesty since the last time I came here during solstice I've been researching ways to break your curse. While I'm afraid it won't be fully broken until we deal with the sorcerer who's cursed you, I do believe we may control it for the time being." Helion told them.
He listened to his father's explanation attentively. The idea of easing his friends' pain was a tempting one and both of them looked just as tempted. Still, the trio didn't dare be too hopeful yet.
"What must we do?" Jurian was the first to ask, gripping Vassa's hand tightly.
"The curse is powerful and as such shifts Vassa's form against her will. By passing half of the curse to someone else she could be able to shift at will and use the firepower it brings."
"But who would want that, Lord Eris?" She asked.
"That'd be me. I'm willing to take on half your burden, your majesty." Asteria answered, leaving them speechless.
"I couldn't ask that of you, Mrs. Ambrose! This is difficult and you're a stranger to me, no I can't let you!"
"I'm afraid it's not up to you darling but to me and I've decided I shall do so.
The process as explained to me by Lord Helion and my daughter won't be invasive for either of us and it may guarantee your comfort. I'm more than willing to put my faith in both the curse-breaking expert and my alchemist daughter for this. You do not need to worry."
She was still hesitant but Vassa agreed to let them explain. He wasn't as well versed in curses as his oldest brother or father but from what he could gather Vassa would pass half of her curse to Asteria via an invisible mark and they'd both be able to access the power of fire. Vassa would be able to shift at will rather than forcefully and Asteria would get some pyrokinesis from her half of the curse. That is if this worked.
Neither he nor Jurian interfered knowing this was Vassa's matter to settle. In the end, she agreed.
"Let us begin then. Eris, stay close in case fire tries to spread."
The Autumn prince nodded and hovered nearby as Helion marked both Vassa and Asteria's wrists. They winced in pain at the feel of the needle, but the High Lord was gentle enough to make sure they were marked without bleeding.
"How'd you find out about this shared curse thing?" Lucien asked Eris in hushed whispers.
"Azalea had been raiding libraries collecting information about creatures, alchemy, ancient spells and fish. She found this in Day."
"Azalea was in Autumn...Did she meet Cedric?"
Eris groaned. "So much info-dumping about alchemy. They talked for five hours and got Nemesis to fall asleep!"
"I would've paid to see that."
"No, you wouldn't!"
Preparations were complete. Helion got ready to recite incantations and advised them all to stay back.
"Now Vassa, I want you to imagine as if a thread connects you to Asteria. Through said thread, you shall send her your firepower and curse until she tells you to stop. The seal is made to hold half and be painful once the quota is fulfilled, Asteria the moment you feel pain you tell her to stop. Are we ready?"
Both women nodded, holding hands and closing their eyes.
"Here be a curse of fire and flame
A new bond shall be forged to share the pain
Through a thread and seal this bond remains
Until the dark power can be purged away."
The room glowed, as a thin thread was wrapped around the hands and wrists of both women. The thread was white and looked like yarn but they could all see the magic flowing through it. Vassa was sweating and trembling but Asteria's grip helped her steady.
The glow grew brighter and brighter until it seemed to burn the eyes. Even as he averted his gaze and closed his eye Lucien could feel the glow.
"Stop!"
That mere command was enough for Vassa to let go. The room stopped glowing and the thread vanished, leaving only the two women catching their breath.
The sun rose at that moment and they all panicked. Vassa practically jumped off the seat with a quickened heartbeat and hoped she didn't scorch the furniture.
She didn't because she was still human, even under the light of the morning sun.
Her hands shot up to her face then her hair and finally she laughed. "It worked! It really worked!"
The usually composed woman glomped him and Jurian then went around the room hugging everyone. "Oh thank you so much! I can't tell you how much I've missed this!"
It was a sweet scene seeing her tightly holding onto Helion and Asteria. "Think nothing of it dear, I'm so happy we could help," Helion told her.
Vassa tentatively conjured up some flames in her hands. She still held her powers but could remain human. Asteria was deep in thought before walking away. "I have a theory I'd like to test."
The others weren't as curious as him. Lucien followed her outside, where the former seamstress allowed her black raven wing to be free. He could see her gathering her strength and courage, wincing slightly at the pain before a wing of flame materialized where the one she'd lost would be.
Asteria looked back at him in shock. She had one raven wing and one phoenix wing. They were both the same size, beautiful and she could slowly move them both.
He knew what she wanted to do. She was scared to try because failure was a possibility, but still, he walked over to where she stood and held her hand in his.
"Fly. Fly again. It's what your sister would want."
Her eyes were teary, but she nodded and let her wings carry her. She flew a little, close to the ground, her grip and Lucien's wouldn't be broken. Then she flew higher and higher until her hands were out of Lucien's grip and soon he couldn't see her anymore until she chose to return, looking like a shooting star in the middle of the newly dawned sky.
"You did it! You can fly again!"
They hugged so tightly yet gently Lucien thought letting go might break them. He'd seen Asteria cry before but not of pure joy. The woman was ecstatic and didn't dare hide her wings.
The light was waking the others. Nesta and Clare emerged from the entrance along with Tamlin, they were all still in pajamas.
"Mother?" Tamlin asked drowsiness as he saw her.
"Oh, honey! You won't believe all that's happened!"
Nesta was not a High Lady like her sister, if she was she would make a law not to have anyone speak to her until she'd been awake for at least an hour.
The explanations for the curse divide and Asteria's new abilities made her happy, or at least what she could actually understand. Her mother figure was eating breakfast with Clare and Vassa as they both gushed over her new wing and the powers shared. Helion was chatting away with Lucien and Tamlin, it looked as if he was bonding with his son's new partner, so she didn't insert herself into the conversation. Eris was the one to all but drag her outside so they could have breakfast in the backyard looking sleepy.
"You seem alert."
"Hush, I like to sleep."
"As do I, which is why I know you don't want to talk or eat."
"It's fine. I'll help Clare finish packing so she can go with you all."
"Right, I forgot you'd be staying here."
"You're the one who suggested it. Is it safe to go back now?"
"As much as I would love for you to return home, it is still dangerous for you to be in Prythian. Are your hosts treating you well?"
"They're lovely! I feel we'll get along just fine. Jurian even said I can start therapy! I can't wait for it!"
"That is great! Focus on your health, we shall let you know when it's safe to come home. Do take care, Nesta, there are many of us who wish to see you truly healed and happy."
The first time they'd met he was charming, charismatic, and with an air of deceit around him. With every passing meeting, the mask cracked and he was still a cunning man, but one who loved his mother, his siblings, his court, and his friends. And she was honored to be a friend to the smiling sweet Eris Vanserra who was seated in front of her gently gripping her hand.
"When I go back, I want to stay in Autumn...Would you have me?"
"Forever if that is what you wish for."
They both knew that love wasn't in the cards for now, still, the possibility was there and while he would never pressure Nesta, Eris would do all that he could to show her he was worthy of her if she wanted him in the future.
He didn't think he'd feel sad upon leaving, but the human world had such a lovely air of tranquility and wonder that Tamlin couldn't help but grow attached even if it only spent a week in it.
With his bag packed and the room given one last look, he headed out. Clare was hugging Vassa along with Asteria, Jurian, and Helion were exchanging information, likely for the sake of the tentative war they could face, Nesta was in the backyard still talking to Eris and finally he saw Lucien waiting for him already preparing the portal.
"Sick of it already?"
"No. I shall miss it. It's clear to me now why you'd prefer this to Prythian."
"There's plenty to prefer but...there are things that I did miss when I was away from Prythian."
Lucien cupped his face and Tamlin turned red, averting his eyes. "You tease, making me blush in front of everyone."
"It's surprisingly easy, and adorable."
Jurian and Vassa came over to hug them. "We hope to see you both soon! Thank you so much for this visit!"
"Don't be strangers. Luci ya better be quick or I'll steal your books. And Tamlin it was great seeing you again. Do know you're always welcome to stay."
"Thank you." It was all he could say before the sweetness of their words got him sentimental again.
"I'll miss you, be good, and don't ruin the manor while I'm gone. Hopefully, this will be sorted out quickly."
They stepped away soon followed by their other friends. Upon arriving at Spring both he and Lucien were tackled by Azalea, Ophelia, and Tamarand.
"Were you all waiting here just to do that?!" He demanded to know.
His family just laughed. "Yes. We missed you so we had to pounce!"
Asteria chuckled as she helped them up. Quickly hugging her wife who was cooing over her new look.
The lush garden, his family's smiles and cuddles, and the gentle grip of Lucien's hand on his was enough to bring him joy.
Wherever he went, if he had this feeling, Tamlin would be home.
The first time Ophelia laid eyes on Asteria the half-Illyrian woman was sitting down on a chair sewing a torn dress back to perfection.
She was younger and vibrant but unlike today she kept her wings hidden and had a slight air of sadness around her.
The former lady-in-waiting was already showing her pregnancy at the four-month mark, she had short hair and a slider frame but looked just as sweet as she did today.
"Excuse me. I'm here about the job. I was told you hired expecting mothers."
Asteria's eyes fell on her and from that very moment, she'd been bewitched by her future wife.
The feeling was mutual, Asteria smiled beautifully when seeing her, memorizing every detail of her face. "That we do, lovely flower."
She'd been hired on the spot and they became co-workers, then friends, then partners and by the time the triplets were born they were ready to be wed. Every single joy and sorrow from their past had been shared and yet it changed nothing of the love that had blossomed between them.
Still, despite being an exemplary wife and mother radiating joy wherever she went, Ophelia knew her wife still grieved the loss of her family, and of her wing. The mere mention of the Night Court around her turned the seamstress to ice, and she never let her wing show unless they were alone.
This was all gone now, for Asteria couldn't help but smile and show off her raven wing beside her new phoenix wing. She looked beautiful, radiant, powerful and so very joyful that it brought happy tears to her eyes.
"I can finally take you flying!" Asteria told her as she picked her up bridal style. Ophelia never got used to that, not many would try to pick up a plump woman in such a way, yet her wife did so easily and lovingly.
They took to the skies as soon as Asteria ascended. Strangely enough, the height was not an issue, Ophelia found she enjoyed the feeling of the clouds and breeze around her.
"Everything looks so small from here! Oh, it is so lovely!"
"I know! I've missed this view so much! I'm so happy to be sharing it with you, my flower!"
That made her turn as red as she did on the day they met. Asteria chuckled and kissed her softly.
The Spring Court looked beautiful from the sky. The cherry blossoms, the flower trees, and fields of lavender, tulips, and wheat were all lovely from high up, and the palace gardens were the treat of the trip.
So many vibrant colors could be seen from the sky, every section save the patch of newly planted daisies was fully bloomed and she couldn't wait to see what everything would look like when the little flower buds bloomed and the entirety of the garden was complete.
This new beauty in the court wouldn't have been possible without her dear children and wife, everyone worked so hard to return the court to its former glory. She felt proud of them all but of Tamlin especially. The young lad had made such progress so shortly that she was certain he'd soon be fully healed. If things kept going this way then her dear friend's legacy would be upheld.
'If you could see this now, Rosabella. They're doing what our generation could not. I will protect them, I promise.'
"You're quiet, want to go back down?"
"Yes, we should get going. It's almost lunch."
They returned to the gardens as swiftly as they took flight. She took in the sight one last time before wrapping her arm around her wife's waist.
"Ria darling, there's something you've yet to tell me of your new wing."
"What do you want to know?"
"Is it as sensitive as your raven one?"
The question made Asteria turn red, still, she grinned and pressed a soft kiss on her lips. "I do not know. We should test that tonight."
"I look forward to it."
Yes, this bliss she would protect. She had to, for either of them wouldn't survive the threat of Night ever again.
Lucien was often mesmerized by Tamlin's beast form, especially when he fought.
At the terrace of the manor, both he and Azalea were watching the brothers have a training spar in their beast forms. Even if their preferred family time was having meals together or a relaxing conversation Tamarand insisted they should both train at least once a week and given that the Evergreen shifting powers were their greatest strength that's what they would focus on.
Tamarand's form was more wolflike than Tamlin's. It was large, his green eyes were fully emerald colored, he had brown fur and the only non-wolflike features he had were some pitch-black antlers with white flowers upon them. Tamlin's form was a mix of wolf, stag, and bear along with some horse traits. Still, Lucien was always in awe of it.
"Tammy is not holding back. Better tell your Lin to step up or he'll lose."
"Why don't you use your form to intervene?"
"I never shifted as much as the boys or Daphne. I don't have a defined form as of yet...And if I do start shifting run because there shall be blood." Azalea's tone was difficult to discern, he couldn't tell if she was serious or joking.
"Dully noted." Was all Lucien could answer.
Finally, the fight came to a head when Tamlin bit Tamarand's neck and tossed him out of the designated ring area. The wolf soon stood again but fell down, too tired to continue.
"Well, guess I was wrong My dear brother is still a worthy fighter."
Azalea stood up to go check on Tamarand, meanwhile, he examined Tamlin for wounds, the had none other than a few bruises.
For a moment he forgot about the training and the battle and just let himself grow relaxed by gently caressing Tamlin's fur. The gesture almost put the blonde to sleep.
"You're spoiling me," Tamlin whispered.
"You deserve it."
Tamarand too was only slightly bruised. Both of them turned back into their normal forms smiling brightly.
"Great work today. I feel like with a bit more training you'll beat me in no time! You must also be commended for the way you ran the court. Everything is in synch and going smoothly. You're doing a great job. Im very proud!" Tamlin praised his younger brother as he patted him on the shoulder.
They panicked for a moment as they saw Tamarand get misty-eyed, but the High Lord just cried happy tears as he hugged his brother! "Thank you so much! I'm so happy you're proud!"
Lucien just smiled at the sweet scene before him. Seeing his beloved Tamlin bonding with his family filled him with joy. No doubt the blonde felt the same.
Azalea led them all inside before excusing herself to her lab. According to Eris both she and Cedric were tirelessly working on defense magic and some ancient magic as well. He knew better than to interfere with nerdy alchemists.
After a long bath and a nice dinner, he'd seen Tamlin taking the medicine Azalea made for him, and even reading. He probably missed Nesta too.
"It's not as fun when she's not yelling at me for wanting the romance to bloom quickly." He admitted.
Lucien chuckled. "She's fond of slow burns, at least I noticed that she went for that when she huddled in the library. Maybe read with Clare, she's a fan of quick love stories like you."
"Nothing wrong with wanting the couple to just kiss already!"
"Tamlin, at least give them until the double-digit chapters."
"Too long!"
"You're such an impatient wolf!"
"And you're a calculating fox!"
They both burst out laughing at their silly argument. It felt like going back in time to the days when they'd tease each other over something as simple as flower colors or fashion choices. At least, that's what it felt like to Lucien.
He sat down on the bed as Tamlin marked the page and put his book away. "I've yet to thank you for taking me with you to the human lands. It was just as calming and beautiful as you said."
"You don't need to thank me. I've been wanting to share this with you for a while."
"Really?"
"I knew you had to remain here because of your High Lord's duties. Now that you're unbound of them, it seemed ideal."
Tamlin chuckled sadly. "Oh my silly fox, I haven't had Spring Lord duties since the war's end. You could've come for me at any time."
He knew it wasn't meant in an accusatory manner, still, it hurt to hear. He could've indeed helped Tamlin much sooner. 'But I didn't. I was chasing a flower girl and spending time in the court of the people who tried to ruin him. To ruin us.'
"Luce?" Tamlin's beautiful voice brought him back from his musings. Tamlin quickly held his hands and looked at him with those pretty green eyes. "Are you ok?"
"I'm fine. I just wish I had indeed come to you sooner. I've missed you so much, Tam."
He knew words like that made Tamlin melt. Indeed the former High Lord turned red and kissed Lucien's hands. "I missed you too...I wish I'd cared for you better."
"Tam-"
"No, it's true. I should've cared better for you, for the court, for everyone. I did so much not to lose it I- I really tried to keep him at bay and yet he still tore everything to shreds."
"The king? You did what you could."
"It wasn't enough. Maybe I should've surrendered and murdered him in his own bed."
He'd noticed Hybern had a fascination with Tamlin. At first, he thought it was merely because of the treaty or because Ianthe spoke highly of him. But on more than one occasion he'd caught the king looking at him longingly, just as he once looked at him too. It worried him and if what he suspected was true then...
"Did you let him have you?"
"...Yes."
It wasn't a strained answer or one full of rage but instead just resigned. It happened like everything else that happened.
Lucien quickly pulled him into a hug. "I'm sorry. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. You don't need to worry, it wasn't like Amarantha or Ianthe. He just propositioned me a few days after you and Feyre left and I said yes.
Thinking back on it I'm not sure if I did it to protect the court by making him think I was loyal or if it was just loneliness but I don't regret it. Maybe I enjoyed some of it. It was a good distraction. He didn't hesitate to suggest it again before leaving the room and said that if I got you back then he might want you too. My glare was enough to dissuade him."
"I'm not sure if I should feel flattered or disgusted." He joked.
Tamlin laughed. "If we're speaking purely on enjoyment maybe you should feel flattered. Can't say I didn't feel taken care of."
"Ugh, didn't realize you were into old men."
"Hey, he wasn't that old! More like experienced if I may say...Though you sound possessive. Are you jealous?"
"Not really. I know well I'm your favorite."
He said so jokingly, trying to tease Tamlin hoping that it would ease the pain of his memories. He didn't expect a soft peck on the lips.
"You'll always be my favorite." He said so sincerely and lovingly that now Lucien was the one who almost melted.
"Your health has improved but so have your seduction skills. I need to keep up."
"I'm sure you'll surprise me soon. Tonight I'd rather just hold you. I've really missed that."
"You can always hold me. I'll never refuse that."
The week spent in the human world was free of nightmares for Tamlin, but the moment he fell asleep here in Spring he was dreaming of one of the few good memories he had of his brother.
He'd heard screaming early in the morning and it woke him. The sound came from Dorevan's room, where his mother was trying to calm his eldest brother down. The first prince of Spring was clutching his head trying to muffle the sound of his screams by staying facedown and under the covers.
"Baby, you need to try and eat, the migraine won't go away otherwise." Rosabella sweetly told him, but her pleas fell on deaf ears.
"Just take what I gave you, it'll numb you soon enough!" Ciaran protested gesturing to a container on the nightstand. He too was ignored and both he and Rosabella spotted Tamlin. His mother gestured with her head in his direction, silently telling Ciaran to get him away. The middle brother complied, getting out of the room and all but dragging him as far away as he could.
His grip was harsh, enough to mark, but he didn't think that was out of malice, but rather urgency.
"Let go, you're going to leave marks!"
For the first time, Ciaran obeyed and let him go. Sitting down on the floor with his back to the wall, patting the space beside him so Tamlin would follow suit.
"Don't tell anyone what you saw. He'll snap you like a twig if he knows."
Tamlin was no stranger to Dorevan's treats nor his strength but he'd never seen the eldest Evergreen brother like that.
"What's wrong with him? Is he sick?"
Ciaran nodded. "He occasionally gets horrible migraines. He's had them before you and I were born...They're probably why you and I were born. Father isn't tolerant of imperfections."
"But...that's not an imperfection, it's just a medical condition."
"Same shit to him, ya scrunt," Ciaran told him as he took out two wooden pipes and handed one to Tamlin.
"I don't smoke."
"And I don't usually talk to you so this is new ground for everyone. Now take the damn thing and let me light it."
He obeyed, preferring this to a fistfight with the tall lanky male. Ciaran filled the pipe with some herbal mixture and lit it. He took one swing of it before the overly earthy taste and plant sent made him cough. "That smells horrible and tastes even worst!"
"Cuz it's yer first time. Give it a couple of years. It'll be the only thing keeping ya sane."
"...Like you?"
"Maybe, maybe not. Dorevan had booze, I have this. Pick your poison and try to survive it. That's what we've done."
Tamlin knew exactly who his brother referred to by looking into his hazel green eyes. That gaze they only shared whenever their father was mentioned or near.
"Why?! Why is it like this?! Dorevan and you are both sick and he just...He's making it worse!"
"He'll make it worse for you in time, so worry about keeping him off yourself."
"No! You don't deserve to deal with him either!"
That surprised Ciaran. He took a deep breath of his herbal smoke before gazing at his baby brother. "You shouldn't care what happens to us. We didn't care to be the same way to you."
"It's not too late to change that."
"If you say so then maybe...Maybe I can believe ya." Ciaran sighed. "Look kid, this family it's a fuckin vicious cycle that won't end until the cursed Evergreen line is put to rest.
Ya gonna think I lost it for this but I don't blame our fuckin father for being who he is. This we're living, he too passed. His trial was for better or worse only his own while the three of us have one another to ease the burden when father switches targets.
From the beginning of our dynasty, every High Lord of Spring has struggled with their magic. It's as if our bloodline was cursed with unstable magic that goes wild whenever we're in an emotionally intense situation. The solution to this for every High lord up until our father has been to beat your sons into submission. Mold them into princes whose magic remains tamed. At least until you're behind closed doors."
He didn't want to believe such cruelty was not only normal for their family but thought of as a solution, still, even at this young age Tamlin could tell Ciaran was right. His own magic spiraled when he was a toddler, who's to say this wasn't the case for them all?
"That's no way to live."
"No, it ain't. That's why Dore counts down the minutes till Oisin dies. Then we'll be free."
"What if you get the powers, aren't you worried he'll kill you?"
Ciaran laughed. "Nah. Dorevan's the type of man to say lots of intimidating shit and not act on any of it. He's more scared than either of us.
If he gets the powers we'll be free to leave the court. If not he'll try to seem scary and duel or fight us but in reality, he will be secretly overjoyed and run for whatever happy place he can find..."
He doubted, maybe because unlike him he had no closeness to Dorevan, but should Ciaran be right and that be the case then Tamlin would be more than happy to oblige.
Maybe the weeds were finally taking effect but he felt more relaxed. "What would you do if you could leave?"
"That's easy. I'd go marry my lady and be happy with her."
Tamlin had never met her, but he knew of the woman that his brother called his lady, a gorgeous courtesan by the name of Roxane. He'd heard the rumors and Ciaran made no attempt to deny them, he often wondered what the man did to keep her alive, as their father would never allow any of them to marry less than a High Lord's kin.
Ciaran handed him a mini portrait of an absolutely gorgeous woman. She had reddish-orange hair, big icy blue eyes, and a pretty smile accented by the red lipstick she wore.
Her dress left little to the imagination yet he didn't feel any lust towards the pretty woman, rather she looked like someone he'd enjoy building a friendship with.
"She's lovely, like someone you've known all your life."
"That's exactly what she's like."
He was touched to be sharing a brotherly moment with someone who up until now he'd only seen as an enemy. Ciaran was the less cruel of the two and was often high or apathetic to it all, but this made him understand him a little more.
He gave the portrait back, and his brother gently pocketed it. Looking at him both intensely and with a slightly blurry glare due to the high. "What about you? Where would you go?"
"Anywhere. I want to be a traveling musician."
"Really? I thought you wanted to be a sentry."
"No, I just did that to get out of the way."
"Oh...I'm sorry. It's because of us. We know what it's like and still we...I'm sorry."
"Don't worry. It is as you said, this is a cycle."
"Then it ends here. I swore that if ever brought kids into the world I'd never do what our father did. Today I prove that bur towards you and Dorevan.
I'll never dare raise a hand against you again. I swear. Dev will come to in time, but until then I will be a good brother. Then when the day comes and the power passes you'll be safe if it goes to me. If not then we can run off, you with your Autumn prince and I with my Summer lady. And if you get the powers I'll accept it and bow to my new High Lord.
This...Isn't enough to start making up for all I've done but if you want to then I can try. We should try to break the cycle."
"I'd like that."
He tentatively hugged the man who once was so scary to him. Tamlij desperately hoped that it wasn't just the drugs speaking but that this was indeed his brother's wish.
The middle Evergreen child stood. Wobbly but still somewhat conscious. "I'm heading to bed. Need to pass this lying down. Do the same or you'll start puking. I'll see you at the dinner. Maybe you can teach me some music afterward."
"Sure, be ready then. See you later."
Later never came. For that same night, the High Lord of Night and Rhysand broke into the manor and took almost everything that had ever mattered to him.
The details of it often blurred, when he woke when he found a bloodied Rhysand frantically rushing through the manor, the dead sentries, and the fight. It was all a mush until he felt the surge of green magic energy take over him. He didn't bother to fight Rhysand anymore and rushed to his parent's room.
Wherever one looked there was gore. Red splatters on the walls and puddles on the floor continued to pool. Oisin, or rather what remained of him was slumped against the wall. Dorevan was laid out on the floor desperately reaching for what once what his father. Rosabella was still on the bed with open lifeless eyes that stared at nothing. He saw blood on her and markings on her neck. His pretty mother was cold to the touch, no doubt she was the first to go.
A cough startled him as he looked down at Ciaran. The man was slumped against the bed holding Rosabella's hand.
"Tamlin? Are you there?" Ciaran rasped in ragged breaths.
He quickly kneeled down in front of his brother. The sight was heartbreaking and nauseating, for the prince's innards were spilling onto the floor and he desperately tried to keep them in, the side of his face had been blown away, and Tamlin could even see part of his skull from the blast that likely came from the High Lord.
"Don't speak. I'll call a healer. It'll be okay." He tried to reassure him in between tears.
Ciaran shook his head. "No kid, I'm not holding on anymore. I'm not. I'm sorry.
I just...wanted to make sure you made it. You got the power... that's good, we always knew it had to be you."
"Ciaran quiet! It doesn't matter! I'll call a healer and you'll get better! We can fix this, I can call for Roxanne to be brought to court!"
The injured man chuckled which quickly turned to coughs. "Tell Roxy I'm sorry to leave like this. I didn't keep my word...Maybe it's fitting that I'm the one dying"
"No! You're not dying! We can stitch you back together! You can't die! Please Ciaran...we're the only ones left...Don't go..."
He'd once hated it when his brothers saw him cry. That let them know they won, but this was the exception, he was willing to break a thousand times if that convinced Ciaran to stay.
Tamlin felt his brother drying his tears. Rosabella wasn't there anymore to do it, so it fell to him. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything kid. You deserved so much better than being born into this fractured family. I mean it, I always wished I could be like you...
You're the High Lord now Tamlin. The people need you, you cannot break, you have to be strong, you have to protect them. I'm confident you'll do a better job than any of us ever could, you'll be much better than our father ever was...I wish I could stay to see it. To help ya but...I can't..."
The last words came out as a whisper, Ciaran was struggling to breathe and a trail of red began to spill from his dry lips.
Tamlin had to accept it. There was nothing to be done. Nothing but making good on the deal of being better siblings.
He took the wooden pipe out of Ciaran's pocket and prepared it before pressing it against the dying man's lips, then he lit it.
Ciaran took a deep breath and smoked it quickly. He coughed up more blood, looking sleepy. "Dosn't even taste good anymore...Fuck that's sad." He looked at Tamlin and pulled him into a hug. "I'm glad I got to see you one last time. Sorry for everything, kid...I love you."
That broke him. Tamlin could only hug Ciaran tightly and lay on his chest as the weak heartbeat slowly ceased. "I love you too. You were a good brother. I'll miss you."
It was half a lie, one day didn't make up for a horrid lifetime but he meant the words as he said them and he could tell the man believed them as his eyes slowly closed forever.
"Ciaran? Ciaran! Ciaran, did you hear me? I mean it! I meant every single word...I'll do as you asked. I promise."
Not even that got him to wake up.
Lucien could hear the sobs and pleading when he opened his eye. Tamlin was calling for his brother. He hadn't seen him like that since the night he was left orphaned.
"Tam, Tam wake up!"
Tamlin all but jumped off the bed as he felt Lucien's gently shaking him. He quickly looked around the room and realized he had a nightmare.
"Luce...Luce I saw them. The night that they all died and...I spoke to Ciaran again."
He remembered that night. Andras all but dragged him out of bed and winnowed with him back to Spring in a heartbeat.
"They're dead. Only Tamlin survived."
He needed to hear nothing else as they both rushed to the High Lord's chambers. Andras had futilely explained to him that he returned from patrol to an empty thrashed manor and carnage. Only the ladies in waiting were spared. He spoke of Tamlin, but his quickening heartbeat didn't let Lucien hear anything.
The double doors were swung open and he nearly vomited at the gory sight. Still, that quickly passed when his eyes fell on a crying Tamlin that was holding onto Ciaran and his mother's hand.
"Tam. Sweetheart, it's us."
Hearing his voice was enough for Tamlin to turn and see them. He stood, spilling red onto the floor that was likely his brother's blood.
Lucien and Andras didn't care to be stained in red too as their friend held onto them with force. Neither spoke nor did anything until Tamlin stopped weeping.
"We need to...need to move them. The funerals and the families of the sentries...I."
"Shhhh, we shall take care of that. You need to clean yourself up and sleep. Tomorrow we can deal. Just reach tomorrow, sweetheart."
Tamlin nodded, almost collapsing if they weren't there to hold him. They had to guide him to his room and while Andras handled the matter of corpses and clean up he had to make sure Tamlin didn't step off the balcony and joined the fallen Evergreens.
After a bath, he looked calmer but those once shimmering green eyes were dulled. Lucien all but picked him up and got into the bed with him. "I'm here. It's okay. I'm here and I won't leave you. We'll get through this."
"This wasn't the way it was supposed to be. They knew what to do but I...I can't! I'm not fit to be a High Lord!"
"You'll be. Don't worry. We shall figure this out together. Everyone is here for you Tamln. You won't carry the burden alone."
"Thank you, Luce...I'm so lucky to have you still."
"Always."
He held onto Tamlin the same way now. Gently running his hands through his golden locks and wrapping the other around him as they lay sideways on the bed.
"I failed you. Everyone put their hopes on me and yet here we are, still making sure the Night Court doesn't fuck us all over! Had I been a better High Lord maybe we wouldn't be dealing with all of this!"
"Tam I doubt anyone could've prevented Rhysand's enormous ego to try and consume us all. You did well in your reign and gave it all for the court. The end of it all wasn't a failing on your part, it was external factors and a lifetime of keeping together what should've been allowed to fall apart. Now that it's all over, you should rest. You're allowed to rest."
Tamlin looked at him before gently kissing his lips and holding on tightly. "Back then, all I wanted was to run away with you, playing music wherever we went...if we both survive this, then I'd like to rest in that way."
"When the war is over, we can finally have that life we both dreamed of. I promise. No one will take that away from us. Not even the dark of the Night."
"Luce, don't make promises that we aren't certain to keep..."
He fell asleep again, deeply and fully exhausted. Lucien said nothing and continued to stroke his hair and hold him
"This one I can keep. I have to, Tam, or I won't forgive myself.