Chapter 6: Atonement
She organised with Harry to have Ron out of the flat around 11 so she could gather a few things. He'd sounded relieved to have heard from her and didn't press too hard when he asked her where she was hiding out.
"I don't want to tell you Harry, I don't want you to lie to him or cover for me or take sides." Hermione leant against the wall just outside the kitchen, back turned and her voice low. What she was saying was mostly true, but she also didn't want to have to explain to Harry exactly whose house she was calling from.
Harry sighed and she imagined him pinching the bridge of his nose, eyes closed tight.
"As long as you're safe, ok?"
"I am. I promise." She assured him, glancing through the doorway to the kitchen where Draco Malfoy was elbow deep in soapy water doing dishes the muggle way. She was still fairly sure she had lost her mind and was hallucinating because the scene was all just a little bit strange.
"Alright, well I'll have him out of the house at 11 but I don't know how long for. He really wants to be here when you come back."
"I know." She said softly, turning away from Draco again. This time she looked at the cobbled lane and the garden beyond, through the small, square window beside her. "I just… can't right now. I need a couple of days." She murmured softly.
"Alright. It's alright… but you can't run from this forever, ok?"
"I won't. I promise." She breathed, squeezing her eyes shut against the burning behind them. She didn't want to cry again. Her headache from yesterday was still there and she didn't want it to be any worse. "Thank you, Harry. I never wanted to put you in a position where you had to choose. I know Ron is like your brother, the Weasley's are your family through Ginny…"
"You're my sister, Hermione. You have been since the train ride into Hogwarts when we were eleven and you fixed my glasses." He said with a light laugh. "Us orphans have to stick together."
Her eyes prickled and her nose stung in that way that suggested tears were imminent.
"I love you." She choked.
"Love you too. Don't be a stranger, I'll keep this phone on me, ok?"
"Ok. I'll be in and out quickly, and I'll grab my phone so we can keep in contact…" She paused. "How is Ginny taking all of this?"
There was silence and then Harry sighed.
"She's… she's a little mad at me for not telling her, and letting you leave but she'll come round." He said with a sigh. "I don't think she's furious with you, she's just upset you didn't talk to her."
"Ron's her brother, I didn't know how." Hermione choked, hastily wiping her cheeks with the back of her hands as tears spilled over.
"Like I said; Ginny will come round, I know it. You just need to talk to her." He paused and there was a soft murmur. Hermione assumed Ginny had walked in because a second more passed before Harry returned. "I'll make sure the flat is empty at 11."
"Thank you." Hermione said again and bid her farewell before hanging up the phone.
"So, Potter is helping you out?" Malfoy asked and Hermione was surprised to note there wasn't a hint of malice behind his words. She nodded and leant against the door frame, watching as he wiped his hands on a tea towel.
"He'll have my flat empty at 11. Are you connected to the floo?" She asked and Malfoy nodded. "Yeah, even if I barely use it. My mother insisted."
"Ok, that's good. I don't know if I feel up for apparition right now." She cleared her throat. "I'll uh, grab a few things to stay for a few days but I really don't want to inconvenience you."
"There's no inconvenience. Do you need a hand with your things?" He offered, surprising her again.
"Ah, no. It's ok. I've got a bag with a decent extender charm on it; And it will really only be for a few days. I can't run from this forever."
"No, but if two days turns into a week just know you've got a place here."
Hermione nodded but she folded her arms across herself.
"Why are you helping me, Malfoy?" She asked the question that was burning the back of her tongue. "What are you getting from this?"
His brow furrowed for a moment and he leant a hip against the back marble counter.
"Nothing…" He started to stay, but whatever he had to say after was cut off as a loud crack sounded the door behind Draco and it opened.
"Honestly, Draco, could you make your apparition space any smaller?" A feminine drawl as familiar as Draco's made Hermione shiver as the svelte form of Pansy Parkinson stepped into the kitchen. Her black hair was still cut into a sleek, angular bob that made her sharp features look cut from glass. She had always reminded Hermione of a cat, one of those oriental cats that seemed to judge whatever lay in their path. She'd just gotten more elegant with age and she moved with the grace of a predator. Hermione shrank against the wall, not sure if she should say hello or run a mile.
"You're just terrible at aparating." Draco replied without hesitation, leaning in as Pansy pressed a kiss to his cheek and breezed past him. She pushed some envelopes into his hands as she did. He looked down at them, a frown creasing his brow. "What do you want anyway? I didn't know you were coming round today."
"To see how your date with… oh what's her name? The pretty one, went."
"Poppy."
"Right, Poppy went." She sighed and reached for the coffee press in the corner of the counter beside the stove. She was familiar enough with Draco's kitchen that Hermione assumed she'd spent a lot of time there.
"It was, ah, fine…"
"Fine?" She asked, looking up and toward the door. Her eyes locked with Hermione's and her ruby painted mouth fell open in surprise. "Hermione Granger?" She asked in a voice Hermione was sure she'd never heard from the girl before. She was more surprised that Pansy even knew her first name.
"Hi." She said softly, lifting a hand in a wave before crossing them over her stomach. Pansy's eyes flicked to the movement, then to her feet, her pants and her shirt before she turned to Draco.
"What the fuck?" It was the most vulgar thing Hermione had ever heard her say. "Seriously, Draco, what the fuck? What is she doing here?" The coffee was abandoned as Pansy turned and placed her hands on her hips. "She's missing you know. Left the Weasel boy at the altar and no one knows where she went…" Her eyes locked with Hermione's again. "And now she's here... in your clothes… at 10:30 in the morning with has-been-fucked hair?"
"Pansy, merlins fucking pants shut up." Draco exclaimed, giving a half laugh and shaking his head. "I'm pretty sure that's Granger's hair all the time…"
Hermione skipped over the insult – the truth really – and focused on something else that Pansy had said.
"I'm missing?" Hermione frowned at her.
Pansy nodded and reached into the pocket of her expensive looking cloak. The Daily Prophet and Witch Weekly came out together and she thrust them toward her. Hermione unfolded the Prophet first.
"Front page news. The party went ahead, apparently you've got some illness, but a reporter went to your apartment and you weren't there… House in total darkness…"
Hermione's stomach dropped. A picture of a forlorn looking Ron speaking with Harry was plastered as the main one, dead centre of the newspaper page. The Weasley Family huddled around, deep in conversation. Molly looked close to a conniption…
"Fuck."
"I've never heard you swear before now, Granger." Malfoy said in amusement but she ignored him.
Golden Witch Leaves Lion Heart at The Altar!
"Fuck." She swore again. The headline wasn't far off what she'd guessed it would be and her stomach rolled.
Pansy cleared her throat, reaching for the paper. It slipped from her fingers and then Pansy began to read.
"Brightest Witch of Her Age, Hermione Granger, was set to wed Chudley Cannons star player, and War Hero, Ronald Weasley in an intimate setting just yesterday afternoon, but the bride was no-where to be seen. Harry Potter arrived without the Golden Trio's number one girl and let a devastated Ron know that his wife-to-be had gone missing." Pansy paused, clearing her throat. "I heard Ron ask Harry Potter where she was but Harry simply said she wasn't coming an invitee who wishes to remain nameless told our reporters who were there on the scene. He continues: Weasley told us that she's taken ill but I don't believe it for a second. She left him there. Coldest thing I've seen… guess she's not as great as we all think, is she?"
"Pansy, that's enough." Malfoy's voice took on an edge as Pansy continued but Hermione barely heard. Her ears were ringing again. Everyone knew what she'd done. They knew she'd taken the cowards way out and had run away.
"So, what is she doing here?" Pansy asked finally, having come to the end of the article. Hermione tore her eyes away from the floor, willing herself not to cry in front of her.
"I happened to be unlucky enough to land in the same little down that Draco is in." She answered, her voice shaking. "I'm leaving today."
"No, you're not." Malfoy said quickly. "It's a long story Pansy," He added. A shapely brow rose above dark eyes. "I'm just helping her out."
She had to leave today. Pansy was going to tell everyone that she was here. The media would swarm this place, her name would be ruined more than it already was…
"Granger, go and get ready to get your stuff from your apartment… it's almost 11." Malfoy said, eyes flicking to the clock on the wall. He'd drawn closer to her and she hadn't even noticed.
"What's it going to cost me for you not to tell?" She asked Pansy, looking over Malfoy's shoulder at the other girl.
Her brows knitted.
"Pardon?"
"How much do I need to give you to not tell anyone I was here. Please, I can't afford to have this get out so name your price -"
"Hermione, don't be stupid." Malfoy shook his head, and it took Hermione longer than it should have to register that he'd called her Hermione. He'd never uttered her name in the years she'd known him and it sat strangely in her mind.
"This was a stupid mistake. I'll find somewhere else."
His mouth pulled down in disappointment and his eyes widened.
"Where? There's nowhere else, you worked that out last night."
"It's ok. It's not your problem." She shook her head, edging toward the door.
"I'm not going to tell anyone, you stupid girl. Calm down." Pansy said with an eyeroll. She folded her arms over her chest and leaned against the counter, watching the start of Hermione's panic attack unfold.
"See? She's not going to tell anyone." Malfoy repeated and Hermione looked to Pansy.
"Why?" She asked and Pansy shrugged.
"Because Draco likely has a reason for this and I trust his judgment." Her eyes took in the back of Malfoy's head, a look that reminded Hermione of the way Ginny looked at her brothers sometimes. "I'd also run for the hills if I was about to marry Ron Weasley." The smirk was small but it made Hermione scowl.
"Please just go and do what you need to do." Malfoy was in front of her now, having moved like one would in front of a wild animal – slow and careful – as not to startle them. Hermione looked at him, really looked at him and found his grey eyes full of sincerity. "Use the floo, go and get your things and come back, ok? You can apparate if you feel up to it. I'll add you to the wards."
She didn't know what else to do so she nodded numbly. This was all such a mess. How could she have let herself get into this mess?
She stepped out of the kitchen, leaving Malfoy and Parkinson behind. As the door swung closed she heard Pansy asked what the hell was going on again.
"I want to help this time, Pansy. And if this is how I start then, well, this is how I start."
Hermione couldn't stay for more as the clock on the mantle ticked over to 11am. She wouldn't have a lot of time at her flat and she needed to make the most of it while she could.
"You have some explaining to do." Pansy said the second the door swung closed. "What the bloody hell is going on?"
"I want to help this time, Pansy. And if this is how I start, well, this is how I start."
Draco watched as Pansy's brows drew together in disbelief. She'd always questioned him, always challenged him. It was almost a shame he wasn't her type – "anatomically incompatible", was how she'd once put it when they were 14 – but he loved her all the same. She, along with Blaise Zambini and Theodore Nott were the only ones from his old life who knew where he was and how to find him. He'd cut the rest off the day he'd walked from his home and hadn't looked back.
"Harbouring Hermione Granger in your cottage, the day after she does a runner from her high-profile wedding... is how you help?" She asked slowly, tucking sleek back hair over her ears.
"Apparently. I know you've never been one for divination or astrology but if her landing here isn't a sign, I don't know what else would be." Draco shrugged, tucking his hands into the pockets of his sweat pants. He leant against the counter, crossed his ankles and looked at his friend. He sighed when Pansy didn't say anything. Her silence often said more than her words ever could. "You didn't see her yesterday. She was a mess. She'd been drinking all day in that pub in her wedding dress. She vomited on my shoes…"
"Ew."
"You know I've wanted to start… atoning for all the bullshit we pulled during the war -"
"She's not a charity case, Draco!" Pansy threw her hands in the air and shook her head.
"No, but she's in trouble… and she helped me when I needed it."
Pansy's lips formed a thin line.
"She testified for you."
"She kept me out of Azkaban… I need to repay her for that." Draco ran a hand through his hair and let out a long sigh.
He knew the reason he wasn't rotting away in Azkaban right at that moment was due to that witch. Harry himself had pulled him aside after the trial to tell him.
"You would do well to remember that it was Hermione Granger who kept you out of Azkaban, Malfoy. My word wasn't going to be enough so she stepped up to back you as well. She really believes that you're not like your family at your core, so do yourself a favour and disappear. Take this as an opportunity to start again and always remember that it was a muggle born who helped you."
He'd never forgotten it but he'd never had a chance to ask her why she'd believed in him. He'd been a right snot to her through the years at school but she'd somehow known that all the dark stuff: the infiltration of Hogwarts, the murder of Albus Dumbledore, taking the Dark Mark, hadn't been him. She'd known that, despite the torment and the bullying, despite how mean he'd been to her, she knew he wasn't like that at his core. He'd never forget the icy shock he'd felt, seeing her up there, fighting so fiercely for him.
"We were children. Yes, he bullied and tormented me but it was childhood tomfoolery at best. Draco Malfoy was a child who grew up with a father who abused him and a mother who couldn't shield him as much as she may have wanted to. Impressionable children take on their parents' ideologies but what defines them is when they start to break away from that mindset and forge their own. Someone else fixed the cabinet that Draco Malfoy was supposed to fix, just like someone else murdered Albus Dumbledore. His failures are what makes me believe he isn't his father or his family. His failures are what makes me believe he is human, and it wouldn't be fair to him if you locked him away."
Her speech had been seared into his mind ever since and he'd wanted to thank her – but he'd done what Potter had told him to, and he'd disappeared.
"I feel like this is how I repay her, Pansy." He said softly, looking down at the dark wood countertop in front of him. "This is how I get to thank her for saving me as well as apologise for standing idly by while Bellatrix tortured her."
"Draco, you know there's nothing you could have done." Pansy's voice took on a tone of fear, as if speaking of Bellatrix would summon her.
"I could have freed all of them but I was too scared."
"Because he would have killed you."
"I was a coward… My inaction almost got them killed and it's stayed with me since. I know nothing I do will ever fix what I didn't do; but I have to believe it's a start." He looked up and met his old friends' gaze. Her expression softened and she moved to him, tucking herself into his body easily. He rested his head on the crown of hers and sighed.
"You're a good man, Draco."
"I'm trying." He murmured. "I'm really trying."
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