STOP! (Ha, did I get your attention?) Have you read the previous chapter, "Brink"? Please double-check. There was a glitch in the website when I released that chapter - no e-mail notifications were sent, and the site did not update the "last updated" date on the story. In other words, there was no indication whatsoever that the story had been updated.

._.

Beneath

Chapter One Hundred Sixty-Nine – Insecurities

After a few other phone calls, Jane was on her way to the Science Lab to offer her assistance when her eyes fell on the doors to Club Med, right across from her berthing wing. She paused, uncertain. In the Science Lab she would find a friendlier crowd. But she was going to have to talk to Selby eventually. It might as well happen now.

He was propped up against a couple of pillows in his hospital bed, munching on peanut butter toast and nursing a glass of reconstituted orange juice, Nora nearby at her computer.

"Hi," Jane said awkwardly.

"Good morning," Nora said.

Selby swallowed down a bit before speaking. "Hi, Jane."

"Is it, uh…is it okay if…" She took a breath, started over. "Can we talk?"

"Sure, yeah," Selby said, setting aside his plate and downing the last of the juice. "Doc, can we have a few minutes? Actually, you should go get some breakfast yourself. Jane'll make sure I don't try to join any marathons yet."

Nora agreed, reminding Selby to call her on the radio if any problems arose, and left the two of them alone.

"So…how are you doing? You look good, you've got your color back."

Selby nodded and motioned for Jane to pull up a chair beside the bed. He picked up his napkin and wiped his mouth and thin beard before speaking. "I feel good. I really don't need to be here anymore, I think. Nora hides it well but I think she's nervous about the magic healing, you know, whether it's going to hold and all. She keeps checking my chest like she thinks the wound might reappear. And I can't blame her…I confess I've checked it out a few times myself. And wondered whether I didn't just imagine the whole thing. Anyway, she said she's probably going to release me this afternoon, then I'm restricted to this building until my bloodwork and all is completely normal, and then…and then it's like it never happened. I don't even have a scar."

Jane nodded, relieved. This was all good news. But an elephant with massive tusks stood in the room, and she didn't think either of them should – or really even could – ignore it. "It happened," she said simply, leaving the ball in Selby's court.

"Yeah," Selby said, eyes going distant. "Yeah, it did. Jane…," he began, then met her eyes again, "I've had a lot of time to think, just laying around here. And Wright and the doc, some of the others, they filled me in on what I missed when I was out of it. And I think…I think I really screwed up."

Jane's eyebrows went up; that wasn't what she was expecting to hear. She waited; Selby obviously had more to say.

"I was scared. For me, for my wife, for you, for all of us here and for the entire planet. And I was so mad. It's hard enough to leave your wife for all this time, and in a city she's not from, to know there's nothing you can do to… He pushed all my buttons, buttons I didn't even know I had. I'm a science geek, Jane. The closest I've ever been to violence was a bully who kept making me give him my lunch card in the fifth grade, and all he did was threaten to beat me up, no actual violence involved. And the next thing I know I'm taking this giant knife from the kitchen. I really did think he was up to something sinister, but…that guy led an attack on Earth. I don't know what I thought I was going to accomplish going out there by my science geek self, with just a knife. It was the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life. Nobody would've gotten stabbed if I hadn't brought that knife. And he was walking away. I was waving a knife around and still he was just walking away. I can't explain it…I think I just went a little bit crazy," he said, fingers intertwined and twisting in his lap.

Jane couldn't quite muffle a slight laugh at the irony of how Selby had put it. "This may sound strange…and I know it's not exactly the same thing, but I think Loki would be able to relate to that."

"Going a little bit crazy? Was that what the attack on Earth was? His mother sort of said something like that on the radio. Not that I took that seriously at the time."

"Yeah, I think so. He found out some things that ripped his family apart, that ripped him apart, and…I do think he went a little bit crazy. Or maybe let's say irrational."

"Irrational," Selby repeated, as though trying the word out, whether for Loki or himself, Jane didn't know. "And now? Lucas…Loki, he was definitely strange, the way he dressed and talked…but in a way he fit right in, too. I heard you two talking sometimes, I know he was really working on physics data. But he was also somehow able to leave here, and doing…what exactly? Why did he go after my wife like that? And me? Jane, what was going on that day? He appeared out of nowhere, right next to that collector you used to keep out on the roof of the DSL with the rest of your stuff."

"Selby…there are things I can't tell you. Either because I don't know them, or because it's Loki's business and I'm his friend and it's not my place to talk about it. But you've always known things that nobody else here did. And that day…you saw things that nobody else here has seen. I want to tell you…I think you deserve to know, but if I do, it has to stay between us. On Earth, only two people know about it, and it's probably going to have to stay that way, at least for now. You can't tell your colleagues, your wife, anybody. Well…probably your wife deserves to know, too, but only if you're confident she can keep a secret. Can you do that? Can I trust you to do that?"

"Yes," Selby answered without hesitation. "Yes, you can. What my friend told me about? I never told anyone but you, and then only because I knew you already knew. I can keep a secret."

"Okay," Jane said, leaning forward so she could keep her voice quiet. "As I guess you know by now, when I first met Loki, I did think he was Lucas, too. He followed me here, because he wanted to find a way to use my connection to Thor to regain his freedom. That part I've told others here. But it wasn't just that. He knew a little about what I was working on. I wasn't always very open about it, but you know – traversable Einstein-Rosen bridges."

"Which current scientific theory says can't exist. Except for you. The Foster Theory."

"They exist," Jane said with a slowly growing smile. "At least one does."

"Okay," Selby said, his own smile growing.

And that made Jane's grow into a grin. This was her passion, what some would call her obsession. And she was finally able to talk about it with a fellow astrophysicist. "I had access to restricted data, and eventually, I figured out…Lucas and I figured out that what the Asgardians and the other realms out there call Yggdrasil, or the World Tree, what the Asgardians use to travel between realms, is actually a stable, traversable Einstein-Rosen bridge."

"You're serious? Jane, I read up on Norse mythology. That's the tree with anthropomorphized squirrels and deer and such running around on it. You're saying that's real, and it's a wormhole?"

"I sure am. Without the squirrels and deer. It's really different from what relativity predicts, and to be honest I'm not sure it's naturally occurring. It might have been built at some point eons ago…or maybe just altered somehow."

"Those people can build or alter wormholes? Jane, that's just…"

"Unbelievable? I know. I've seen a lot of things over these last few months that I wouldn't have believed before."

Selby nodded, brushed a hand over his abdomen.

"That's what Loki wanted me to work on when he got here. A way to create a wormhole. I do think it's possible, and I had all this extra data to work with, data collected from actual bridges that terminated over Earth. But I didn't get that far on that, because once we put my knowledge and his knowledge together and realized what Yggdrasil was…well, the direction of research changed. But when you ask why you, that much I know now. Loki didn't want to deal with any of you. And he didn't want me spending time with any of you, because that would take time away from working on what he wanted me to. It goes back to the very beginning. You knew about the Tesseract. And you knew about Asgard. And we went to the same grad school. Loki was afraid we would become friends and-"

"He wanted me to stay away from you," Selby interrupted.

"Yeah. He wanted me working on his ticket out of here, and nothing else."

"You didn't know that's what you were doing then, though, did you?"

"No. I have to hand it to him, he did a great job isolating me from everyone else here, by my own choice, even."

"But that changed. You started hanging out with the rest of us more. And then so did he."

Jane nodded. "I can sometimes get lost in my work and forget about the rest of the world…but I've never been anti-social. I need people, down-time, fresh air, daylight."

Selby let out a laugh. "You're out of luck on the last one."

"True," Jane agreed with a smile. "I'll take both moonlight and auroras as acceptable alternatives. Anyway, I couldn't take the isolation anymore and I just decided not to worry about the things Loki had told me. And then over time…he got to know me and some of the others here better, and it changed the way he looked at us. People here helped draw him out, got him involved in things-"

"I don't think he ever really liked being part of the band. That was mostly Wright's doing. Austin, too, probably. They were dragging him into it."

"Loki can be grumpy about things. I think he doesn't like to let himself have too much fun. Or admit to it when he does, maybe even to himself. Maybe that was part of it, I don't know. But trust me, if he really doesn't want to do something, nothing you say or do will make him do it." Jane watched as Selby considered that. She really didn't know what Loki had thought about the band; he hadn't said much about it, and she hadn't observed it. She suspected he'd been frustrated by what must have been a constant barrage of things the others knew that he didn't, from the instruments to the songs to the movies to the animated GIFs-not-gifts. Darts and poker were different; the concept of darts was simple and already familiar to him, he'd picked up the various rules and terms for different versions of poker easily, and he'd apparently had no trouble with a game involving belching.

"Okay," Selby finally said. "Him wanting you not to be distracted from work, I get that. I don't think it explains everything, but it definitely explains him telling me people thought there was something going on between us." He shook his head. "I should've just talked to you about that as soon as he told me. I should've been more mature. But Jessica and I got married right before I came out here, and all that crap Wright gives me…it's true. Cheerleaders and homecoming queens, even former cheerleaders and homecoming queens, they don't fall for science geeks. I don't know how she ever fell for me. I don't think I'll ever stop feeling like she's out of my league. Oh," he said, eyes snapping into focus. "Geez. Sorry. I'm going to chalk that up to meds. Even though I'm not actually on any meds."

"Chalk it up to near-death experiences," Jane said with an awkward shrug. She didn't mind if Selby wanted to talk about such things, but he clearly wasn't actually comfortable with it and had just forgotten the thought-to-speech censor for a couple of seconds. If she didn't think it would make him even more uncomfortable, she'd tell him she didn't see why he thought Jessica was so far out of his league. She'd seen her picture, sure, Jessica was beautiful, but Selby wasn't bad-looking, a little gangly, a receding hairline that he was a little young for, but not at all bad-looking. He was obviously incredibly smart, and had a great career ahead of him even if in a field that was probably never going to make him wealthy. He cared greatly about his wife, he was friendly, and, Jane thought, he was loyal. His friend might be a blabbermouth, but Selby could keep a secret when asked to. Jessica was lucky to have him. She wasn't sure why he was so insecure about it. Her thoughts suddenly shifted to Loki. She hadn't really put that word to it before – insecurity – but she realized then how appropriate it was. Loki was full of insecurities – though would probably relieve you of a limb or an organ or something if you said so – and while a lot of that had to come from finding out he was a Frost Giant, it was clear that Loki's insecurities hadn't started there. She remembered him talking about how Thor was better at "everything that mattered." Ten months apart, he'd said they were. They'd grown up side by side, with Loki constantly aware that he didn't measure up to Thor's standard in any of the things that "mattered." Maybe that never left him. Probably it never fully did. Add onto that the discovery about his birth and-

"Jane?"

"Yeah, sorry." Jane struggled to retrace the conversation to before Selby had spoken earnestly about insecurities he'd only joked about before. "It's okay. That you didn't tell me right away. You were a newlywed and separated from your wife. I get that it might have bothered you. It came at a bad time."

"It made me paranoid. That's when I started avoiding you. You know, there was something else, though. You and he had just been here a couple of days. And he made some comment being so far away from such a pretty bride…and kind of insinuated that she might cheat on me. You were there, remember?"

Jane said nothing – she remembered something vaguely like that but had taken it as a joke, the same kind of friendly ribbing the rest of the guys had been dishing out, too.

"It…it really got to me. I set my alarm to get up as soon as the window opened the next morning, the middle of the night, so I could talk to her. He amped it up later, but it started even before I told you I knew about Asgard and the Tesseract."

"I don't know, Selby. I think he just likes getting under people's skin sometimes."

"No kidding. He scared Jessica half to death."

"I don't mean like that. I don't think that's his usual way of doing things. Not with a stranger. For Loki I think it's usually personal. Look…this starts to get into those things I can't talk to you about, but he was trying really hard to leave here, to get his normal life back. And nothing was working, and he-"

"He had that device. He could go anywhere with it. Even other planets…right?"

"Technically, yes. But they were all at war, and he was one of the prizes. Then when Gullveig came here and his picture was all over the place…there was nowhere he could go."

Selby nodded as he thought it over. "Okay, I can see that. I mean…I understand that desperation and fear can drive you to things you wouldn't normally do. But he went to Chicago before Gullveig's announcement."

Jane looked away, then made herself face him again. Time travel had to remain secret; Loki had actually gone to Chicago right after Gullveig's friendly little visit, but he'd arrived there well before it. "He was already pretty desperate. He had a five-star steak dinner while he was in Chicago, too. I can't really explain that one, either."

Selby took a deep breath, let it out, gave a crooked smile. "That one's not so hard. If I could get out of here for a day, I'd love to have a five-star steak dinner."

"Yeah, I guess I would, too," Jane said with a laugh. "Though I think I'd make mine a nice ahi tuna steak."

"To each her own," Selby said with a wrinkled nose.

After lingering for a while in a comfortable companionship that Jane welcomed, her expression grew serious again. Selby, though, spoke first.

"Do you think you're going to see him again?"

Jane didn't need to ask who. "Yes. I hope so, anyway. I never imagined I'd be saying this, but he's become a good friend."

Selby nodded. "Well…when you see him, tell him I'm sorry. What he did to Jessica was cruel. But nobody got hurt, not physically. What I did was worse, and it didn't change what Jessica went through. I'm sorry I brought the knife, and I'm sorry I stabbed him. I don't even remember doing it, but a lot of that is a blur now. So just…tell him I'm sorry, okay? And maybe that I'd really appreciate it if he never went near Jessica again."

"Um, Selby…" Jane stammered in surprise. She didn't want to fill him in on the details of the magic "curses" Loki had lived with. But it wasn't fair to Selby to let him think he'd stabbed somebody when he hadn't. Nora and who knew how many other people apparently thought that, too – it hadn't really occurred to her before that they would – but she supposed she'd cross that bridge if she had to. "It would be better for this not to get out, but you didn't stab Loki. His father used some kind of magic. If he hurt anybody, the magic automatically doled out the same injury to him. He got stabbed because he stabbed you."

Selby didn't respond at first, and Jane couldn't tell what he was thinking. "You know," he said after a minute, "I don't think I need to tell anybody about that. I think as far as the story goes, I prefer the mutual-stabbing version." His gaze grew distant. "When I got out there…I remember how he looked at me, how he looked at that knife…like I was a kid with a plastic knife or something. It just made me madder, that he wouldn't take me seriously. I should've left well enough alone. But I kept pushing him…and finally he took me seriously. Good job, Selby."

Jane shook her head, put her hand over Selby's for a quick squeeze. "It wasn't because you were pushing him. You saw his return, using that device out there, and you thought he was going to use it to attack Earth. But that's not what was going on."

"I know that now."

"No, I mean…I was gone, too. We had both gone to Asgard. I wasn't able to leave when he did, and the return signal went out every five minutes. I came back five minutes after him. That's why he started taking you seriously. If you had destroyed that device, I would've been trapped in…in difficult circumstances on Asgard."

"The war?"

"Something like that."

"Okay," Selby said, nodding slowly. "I thought…I thought you just found us out there. I didn't know. Jane…I'm really sorry."

"Don't be, it's okay. I know you didn't know. I think…everybody did the best they could. Everybody tried to do what they thought was right, and…it just fell apart at the end there."

"Loki was protecting you, I get it. I understand that."

Jane nodded. It was more than that, though. Loki himself had said that it was. If Odin's magic was all it was cracked up to be, then Loki's reciprocal wound was the proof. And Loki had started needling Selby before his indirect connection to the Tesseract project came up. He'd known that behind Selby's jokes lay real insecurities. Her eyebrows went up as a new idea developed. Selby and Wright were a pair by necessity of work, but friends as well, though they couldn't be more different. Selby with his lanky frame and generally more reserved nature, Wright with his broader frame and more gregarious, outgoing nature. Selby with his insecurities and tendency to defer to Wright though Wright wasn't his boss, Wright with his self-assurance and tendency to barrel through problems and objections. They were hardly doppelgangers of Loki and Thor, but once she thought about it, the parallels were pretty obvious. They probably were to Loki, too. She didn't think he particularly liked Wright, either – they definitely hadn't become friends like he had with Austin, Carlo, Gary, and Zeke – but it was Selby he'd had an irrational dislike for. "He grates on my nerves," Loki had said, without explanation. Just like it was Loki himself who Loki hated the most.

"I don't really want to talk about Loki anymore," Selby said.

Jane pursed her lips, then smiled. "I feel like I've been doing nothing but talking about Loki ever since they left. Talking about Loki and apologizing."

"So stop apologizing. I'm sure you've done it enough. You're right. Everybody did what they thought was best at the time. The Loki that first came here, the one that saw us as playthings instead of people? I'm glad you didn't call the Avengers and end up making the South Pole look like Manhattan after that alien attack. We'd all be dead. Other things being equal, I'd prefer not to have gotten stabbed. But I'd say that's better than being dead, especially once you throw in the magic rock dust."

Jane sat back and laughed almost giddily. No one had been quite that unequivocal – and blunt – in accepting her choices, and for it to come from Selby of all people… "They call them 'healing stones,'" she told him.

"Around here 'rock dust' seems to have caught on. I don't know, I wasn't conscious at the time. I never saw it. But Jane…you started off telling me about the first proven traversable Einstein-Rosen bridge."

"Well…yeah," Jane said with a nod.

"But you hardly told me anything. I want to know everything. Tell me everything you can."

She bit her lip with growing excitement. She had just brushed the surface, and then only for the purpose of explaining the basics of Pathfinder and Yggdrasil, and how that had contributed to that fateful confrontation between Selby and Loki. Selby was a physicist. He wasn't asking about trips to Asgard or Chicago or anything else she and Loki might have used Pathfinder for. He was asking about science. And that was as warm and comfortable as the dark blue cardigan she snuggled more tightly into.

When Nora returned a few minutes later she checked on Selby, then turned to Jane. "You know, I meant to ask him when we were all outside…how's Lucas? I know what he did, helping us evacuate, repairing the building…so he must be fine, but I know he was injured, too, and…well, I was his doctor."

"They heal more quickly than us. He's fine," Jane said with her best smile. She hoped it was true.

Nora left again then, and Jane set aside her worries and the rumbling in her stomach and picked up where she'd left off on the properties of Yggdrasil.

/

/

Out in the corridor, Loki found Thor talking with Bragi, which wasn't particularly surprising. Maeva's presence was considerably less expected.

"Loki," she said, the first to see him and the first to approach. "I hear your silver tongue has talked the Frost Giants right out of the war."

"Giving them the Ice Casket had a little something to do with it as well," he answered with a nod.

The expression on Maeva's face – and Bragi's – told him that Thor had left out that minor detail of whatever he'd told them. "You gave them the Ice Casket?"

That expression, that tone of voice, Loki knew well, and the peculiar sense of normalcy it brought – even if it was a "normalcy" from hundreds of years ago – was oddly pleasant.

"We had little choice," Thor put in before the revelation, necessary although he'd been putting it off, could turn into a senseless argument. "And Loki worked some magic on it, to ensure the Jotuns can't take it off Jotunheim."

"Did he, now?" Maeva asked with an impish little smirk, exactly that one that used to alternately drive Loki mad with either lust or anger, and sometimes a heady combination of both.

He lifted an eyebrow to acknowledge what she was saying – yes, he had adapted her magic – and smiled back coolly. He hadn't spoken to her in a while, several years, and on any personal level in much longer than that. She hadn't really changed, though she wore more pieces of armor than normal and they were scuffed when she usually dressed immaculately, and many stray strands of red-blond hair escaped the braid she usually wore.

"The Ice Casket back on Jotunheim," Bragi said. "I never thought I'd see that day. You're certain they can't leave Jotunheim with it?"

Thor was answering, but Loki's smile faded as his gaze fixated on Maeva's braid. Her braid. It fell past her waist, a little longer than she usually kept it. The same, plain style, a simple single braid straight down her back. Was I attracted to her because she wore a long braid? The thought sent a shiver down his spine. But when he forced himself to really look back on it, he didn't think it was true. He used to tease her about it, in the beginning, before they'd begun seeing each other. All the elaborate, alluring styles women wore their hair in on Asgard, and she wore merely the most basic of braids, not unlike some men wore. The braid hadn't drawn him to her. And he'd never braided it for her; she'd never asked, and he couldn't remember ever feeling an urge. He'd pulled her hair out of the braid many times. It was a coincidence, he told himself, not some hidden inbred desire for a woman with a long braid.

"Loki? Still with us?" Maeva was saying.

"Yes? I…sorry. I was distracted." He hadn't a clue what they'd been talking about by that point, could not retrieve even a handful of words picked up by a half-listening ear. His entire body was tense, he realized, and he made himself relax.

"I was explaining my idea for how we can get a message across multiple realms. Each of the other realms has some version of emergency mass communication, and a long time ago, we were linked in to them."

"The system Vanaheim uses now isn't the one that Asgard once had a link to. Svartalfheim's also has-"

"I know," Maeva said. "Let me finish, hm? I'm not sure if any of the other realms are still actively using those systems…but they still exist, and they still work, as far as I know. Perhaps we don't reach every home or workplace, perhaps we don't reach every town. We need to reach most, not all, right? We activate the link, and we boost the signal."

"How?" Loki asked. Those old signals ran through Yggdrassil on tiny wisps of energy, so small that the bifrost didn't need to be opened for it. He was beginning to be able to picture it already.

"Sound waves. We strengthen them directly from the source. If the other realms try to break the link, we reinforce it for as long as we can."

"We?"

"You're good with sound waves. I could use your help."

"Not just mine. We'd need someone for each of the other realms."

"That would be best, yes. My brothers will help, if there's an order behind it," Maeva said, with a pointed look at Thor.

"You may tell them there is," Thor said with a nod.

Loki didn't bother to hide his distaste; Maeva didn't get along particularly well with her two brothers, but they had united impressively well against an outside force: him, especially after the fiery end of his and Maeva's relationship. They detested him, and it was mutual. With Maeva being groomed to succeed her father, she and Loki had had cause to eventually make peace. There'd been no such truce with her brothers. Still, if he could handle Helblindi and Byleister, then Melmar and Modulfur Mordison would be, as the mortals put it, a piece of cake.

"I have a draft of the message we'll relay," Bragi said, "drawing on everything the queen has put together. I'll update it with Jotunheim's withdrawal. It's a momentous development. I commend you on your success," he said, glancing between Loki and Thor.

"The success is Loki's," Thor said. He'd said it clearly when he'd first told them, too, and was surprised and a little annoyed that Bragi still seemed to be including him in it.

"Of course. Asgard is grateful, my prince."

"Mmm," Loki murmured, taking in Thor's consternation out of the corner of his eye. It almost made him smile. Hard to break them of the habit of heaping all the praise at your feet, is it? "You can send the draft to me," he told Bragi, "and I'll make the necessary changes."

"If you'll excuse me, Your Majesty," Maeva said, "I'll go find my brothers and a few others who can help with the broadcast."

Thor nodded and Maeva hurried off. She had settled down a great deal – matured, he supposed – from the days when she and Loki couldn't decide whether what they felt for each other was love or hate. He watched her go now, wisely avoiding a conflict that had nothing to do with her, and wondered if there might be another chance for them now. Loki, he'd noticed, had been staring at her rather peculiarly before.

Unfortunately for Thor, much as he would rather ponder the possibilities for Loki and Maeva, he couldn't avoid this conflict. Bragi was watching him and looking increasingly uncomfortable in the silence, and Loki was still looking at Bragi, with seeming nonchalance. The difference was that Bragi had no trouble accepting Thor's authority, while Loki refused to acknowledge it. Thor took a slow breath. Fighting was much preferable to this. "I want you to work together on it. Loki's skills at…persuasion will be invaluable, as will Bragi's expertise as Diplomatic Advisor. Can you do that?"

"Gladly," Bragi said.

"Fine," Loki said with a dismissive look. He had no particular problem with Bragi, and not everything was worth the battle. Besides, as Thor had correctly pointed out when they'd met in Eir's office, Loki hadn't been here for the war. Bragi might actually prove helpful. "We can work on it now. It won't take long. And I want to get a statement from Nadrith, too. Vanaheim will be out of the war before tomorrow dawns."

"Before tomorrow?" Thor asked. "The raid to capture Gullveig is scheduled for the day after tomorrow."

"It was scheduled for the day after tomorrow. We go tonight. At dusk in Vanaheim City, if conditions there are favorable. We have everything we need; there's no reason to wait."

"There is every reason to wait. The team was given five days to plan and prepare. They will have their five days."

"We have the momentum now, Thor. Waiting an arbitrary two more would be foolish."

"No, Loki. Moving too early would be foolish."

"The last I recall, you planned and prepared for all the time it took you to order horses when you led us off to Jotunheim to start a war! The Frost Giants are out, two of the three demands are now off the table. What does any average Vanir care about the Tesseract? We'll make it clear to them that they have no reason to fight, and no reason to follow Gullveig. But we have to act now."

"You will not force my hand in this! I won't send my team to Vanaheim before they'd had the time they need to prepare."

Loki stepped forward, livid, his face now inches from Thor's. "How much more planning can anyone possibly need to do that they haven't done in three days? And how many more attacks on Asgard are you willing to allow while you sit around waiting?!"

Thor drew back a fist. "Your promise to win a war in two days, your arrogance, will not dictate when Asgard acts!"

"Ahem."

Loki and Thor both turned at the sound of their mother clearing her throat.

"Few people frequent the throne room these days," she said, the shouting having drawn her out from the office she'd been using. "Still, it would be better if you had such discussions more privately. There are plenty of unused offices." She gave both sons a long look, then called for Bragi, who'd been forgotten in the midst of the argument, to join her.

Thor watched his mother and Bragi disappear around the corner, took the space of a few breaths to calm himself, then motioned down the corridor in the opposite direction.

Loki followed Thor into one of those unused offices and closed the door behind them. Thor didn't sit, so neither did he. "You think this is about me?"

Thor said nothing, merely lifting his eyebrows.

Loki leaned back against the door. "All right. It's a little bit about me," he said, one corner of his mouth pulling up ever so slightly. "But it's mostly about sound strategy. Everything is in place. Capturing Gullveig…it can't be that complicated. They have their defenses, yes, but the Tesseract is surely more powerful than any protections they have in place. And they have no experience with it, so they have no way to devise a defense against it specifically. Why wait?"

"He has guards nearby at all times. From six to twenty. We have to be certain he's not harmed. The consequences of failure would be...we can't afford to fail."

Loki slid off the door and slowly paced the small office, scrutinizing Thor as he did so. He stopped right in front of him. "This isn't like you. You're afraid to act. Why?"

Thor squared his jaw and met the challenge of Loki's stare. "It's not fear. It's caution. I am king now, Loki. I have a responsibility to others that I didn't before."

"No. This isn't just caution. What happened?"

"What happened? What happened?! A war happened, Loki. A war we're losing. A war in which so many people have died that we can no longer keep count. And I will not rush our warriors off to another realm too quickly again!" Thor shouted, punctuating his words with a fist slammed into the marble wall beside him. A web of fine cracks appeared where he'd struck it.

Again? There we have it. "What happened? The other time." Loki turned, pulled up a chair, sat. He'd realized somewhere along the way that Thor was too good a warrior to be acting this way without real cause. And, as Thor's eyes flashed in another burst of anger before he, too, sat, Loki had the strange feeling that they had done all this before. Watching Thor struggle with whatever it was that was bothering him, he knew that of course they had done all this before. Countless times. Loki could feel his heart softening, his sharp edges dulling, and he didn't resist. This might be familiar – achingly so, in a way – but it wasn't quite the same, either. A distance remained between them, and not because of the fierce argument of a few minutes earlier, but simply because things had changed. Thor lifted his head and Loki banished whatever sentiment had clouded his face.

"I already told you about it," Thor said.

"I'm quite certain you…," Loki began, trailing off as he reviewed what Thor had told him, which was precious little in terms of specific battles, and nothing that took place on another realm, except for the Asgardians acting in secret trying to spread unrest. And then he knew. One of them had died. Thor must have tried to save her. "The woman who was half Svartalf?"

Thor nodded. "Jormik." All his life, he thought, this name would bring him private shame. "She was captured. We had little time to prepare before she was to face trial for treason. Sif, Fandral, Hogun, and Huskol went to rescue her, disguised as Dark Elves. Geirmund's idea," Thor recalled.

"Geirmund? The one working with Krusa and Jolgeir on the trade with-"

"We don't speak aloud of that without added protections, but yes. Father established a new advisory, and named him Supplies Advisor. It was a good idea, for the rescue…better than his first. Though looking back…maybe I made the wrong decision. Maybe we should have tried his other idea instead. Or Finnulfur's. But-"

"Why not Volstagg?" Loki interrupted to stop Thor's spiral. It was like watching a man drown – a man who possessed incredible strength and no fear of the water whatsoever. It was unsettling.

"Volstagg? He was injured at the time, his hip. He's been a good advisor in his own right. I'm thinking of naming him to the Assembly. I wonder though…Huskul is a highly skilled warrior, but my friends, they're used to fighting alongside each other. They can anticipate what the others will do, how they'll do it. Perhaps that was-"

"You still haven't said what actually happened."

Thor's gaze fixed on Loki's again. "She died."

Loki bit back a sarcastic remark – he'd already known that much – and simply lifted an eyebrow.

Thor sat back. "Everything was going according to plan, at first. They attacked the jail disguised as Dark Elves, but they targeted another cell first, before opening the others, including Jormik's. We couldn't let it be known that Jormik was working for Asgard, because we had others on other realms, similarly working in secret. It was working. Jormik was released. Our warriors were expecting the guards to attack them…no one expected that they would instead turn on the prisoners. That they would simply…kill them."

Loki said nothing, swallowing down the series of reactions that flashed through him. There was sympathy; it was plain on Thor's face how personally he took this woman's death, the same one Loki had earlier been blaming himself for. But there was also bitterness and anger; sometimes plans failed, and failed spectacularly, and yes, sometimes others paid the price, and it was about time Thor took a dose of that particularly noxious medicine.

"So you see? We acted too hastily. We didn't take enough time to prepare. I won't make that mistake again."

"It's hardly the same thing. You aren't retrieving a jailed Asgardian from an enemy realm. You're retrieving a king from his own realm. His guards – and I can assure you of this, Thor – will attack your warriors and not their own king."

"I know it's not the same thing," Thor said, some of the earlier anger returning to his voice. He didn't need Loki's sarcasm right now. "Nothing is ever exactly the same thing. But Gullveig will be in the middle of a battle. If he is even accidentally harmed, we lose the heart of our message."

"So have a healing stone on hand. Then we'll improvise and extol the virtues of the tender healing care we extend to our enemies' leader."

"Do not mock me, Loki," Thor said, voice dropping, body nearly trembling with anger.

"Who's mocking?" Loki said, recognizing the explosion that was about to take place and quickly deciding to change tacks. "I'll put it differently. In the unlikely event that he's injured, we promptly treat him and ensure everyone knows he's alive and hale. It's highly unlikely he'll be accidentally dealt a death blow. Thor…you're letting what happened to Jormik paralyze you." He took two seconds to swallow, to be sure that he could say what Thor needed him to say instead of what he felt like saying, and that he could do so without looking nauseous. "She wouldn't want that. Jormik knew the risk she was taking. You said it yourself; she chose to stay on Svartalfheim. She believed in what she was doing. She wouldn't want what happened to her to make you hesitant to act when it's time to act."

Loki's words made sense, Thor thought, and yet… "It's not…I'm not paralyzed. We are going to act. In two days, exactly as planned."

"Who is going?"

"The Warriors Three and Sif. When Father woke, I thought I would join them, too, but he left me king."

"And they've already had three days to plan? Ask them if they're ready. I'm certain they are. It's as you said, they know each other, they anticipate each other's moves, they fight as one. There is no need to prolong this war when we can end it now."

Thor found himself nodding. What Loki said made perfect sense. Then he narrowed his eyes. Loki's greatest talent was in convincing others he made perfect sense in order to get his way. But even aware of this, he could no longer remember why his own argument had made perfect sense just a moment ago. "I'll ask them," he said, quickly thinking it through. They would tell him they were ready no matter what, because they relished the fight, especially this one; they were eager to go on the offensive instead of constantly being on the defensive. They were warriors, and they were always ready. But if he pushed Volstagg to be objective, he would get an honest, critical assessment, rather than simply a self-confident one. Hogun, too, probably. "Then I'll consider it."

"How about this? You're not the only one who knows well how the Warriors Three and Sif fight."

It took a couple of seconds for that to sink in, even though Thor and his closest friends had been fighting with Loki for much longer than they'd fought against him. "You? Loki…I'm sorry, but I don't think so. For one thing, we're supposed to stay together. And for another…I'm not sure they would…be comfortable with it."

Loki relaxed into a smile that was so natural he wasn't sure if it was feigned or not. "Wasn't the point of us staying together so that you could keep an eye on me? Honestly, Thor, I stole the Ice Casket right out of the Weapons Vault while you were standing not three feet away from me. I think we're past that point, don't you?"

Thor frowned and looked away. Every time Loki tricked him he told himself he wouldn't fall for it again. And every time…he did.

"And as for your friends…you aren't sure they'd be comfortable with it? Are you king or not? What difference does it make if they're comfortable with it? Besides, I think we can stay out of each others' way. I would be there solely to protect Gullveig, to make sure he's not harmed. The others will form a cordon, hold back the guards, and I will get to Gullveig. We need only coordinate with Heimdall to find the right moment. There isn't that much to plan, really. Preparing the message was the more difficult task."

Loki made it sound so simple. Thor thought that before this war, he would have also seen it as simple. He never used to worry much about consequences. Loki had. Loki had always thought about the consequences. In many ways, they really had flipped to the opposite sides of a coin. Still…nothing involving Loki was ever simple, and Loki suddenly again becoming the voice of reason could not be accepted at face value. "What is your true agenda?" he asked, watching Loki closely now, though he knew if Loki wished to hide something from him he had no hope of seeing it.

"My true agenda is to ensure that we successfully and safely capture Gullveig. And to reassure you that it will go well."

At this Thor laughed, vexation and warmth mixed in with actual humor. "I don't think your involvement makes me feel particularly reassured. You always have your own agenda, Loki. That much I know."

Loki smiled. Thor was, perhaps, growing a bit wiser. But it was too late, really. Loki did have his own agenda, but nothing with quite the shock value of stealing the Ice Casket. He had planned on insisting all along that he join whatever cohort would go after Gullveig, that he be the one to personally drag Gullveig back to Asgard, but he'd expected more of a fight over it, and Thor's newfound insecurities had dropped it right into his lap. He didn't need for all of Asgard including random women and little girls to know what he'd done; perhaps once he'd wanted that, but it held little importance to him at the moment. He did, however, need Odin to know what he'd done, what he'd accomplished. Not out of an old need for approval, but for the very practical reason that he wanted his freedom, and he wanted it without conditions or restrictions. Thor wasn't wrong in what he'd said before. Loki said he'd win this war in two days, and he was determined to do so. Personally. "Luckily," he finally said, "for the moment our agendas are in alignment, are they not? We both want to end this war, and we both know it needs to happen soon in order to avoid ending it by being defeated. And I refer you again to my theft of the Ice Casket. In the end, do you oppose what I did?"

Thor tried to look cross, but didn't quite manage it. "I oppose the way you did it. But not the end result."

"Precisely. I will accompany your friends, and ensure that the end result is to your liking."

Thor considered it. Loki had spoken true; keeping an eye on him was something he wasn't particularly effective at. No one was, probably, but Loki knew him too well, and just how to exploit every vulnerability. Their father had surely known that too, yet had permitted Loki his freedom with that particular condition. He would probably not object – much – to their separation at this point. That reminded him that he didn't yet know Odin's reaction to the return of the Ice Casket to Jotunheim, or even if he knew it was no longer in the vault. He told himself it didn't matter, Odin had left him in place as king and as such it was his decision. Not that it was actually his decision, but rather Loki's and Thor had essentially yielded to Loki's decision after the fact… He shook his head at himself. This was getting him nowhere. "I'll send for Volstagg to get his thoughts on the timing. If they're ready, then they'll go as soon as Heimdall says the moment is right. With you."

Loki gave Thor a nod and slipped out before anything more could be said.

/

Responses to Guest reviews from last 2 chapters (warning, MASSIVE block of text follows!): Guest (Apr3) Thank you, so glad you enjoyed it, and other is Trials I suppose? Thanks!; "Ouch" (Apr3) Thank you and thank you. Ouch indeed.; "Reviewer" (Apr3) Thank you. And thanks for mentioning your fave part, I always enjoy hearing things like that.; "Fourdevils" (Apr4) Thank you. I love that I made you like Farbauti "a little bit," ha. In general I see these characters as neither purely bad nor purely good, so I'm always happy when someone responds to the complexity and depth I try to give them. Agreed re Jane, first movie is much better with her than second. Refrigerated curd? You guys are all awesome with your suggestions. :-); "Kyermehtar" (Apr4) Thank you. "Harrowing" is right, ha. And I hope the end will meet your expectations.; Guest (Apr4) Thanks, it was really quite invigorating writing Farbauti. Glad you liked the birthday bit. It's not something I dwelled on earlier, but I think it would be one of those things sitting in the back of his mind, over a thousand years old and he realizes he's never even known his actual birthday.; "Updates-good" (Apr4) Ha, yes, the apple doesn't seem to have fallen so far from that tree! Oh my, there will undoubtedly be many Aesir not thrilled with increased (non-violent!) contact between Asgard & Jotunheim; Guest (Apr4) Thank you for the sympathies! Yeah, I think I would say, within Farbauti's belief system, what she did is understandable and sympathizable (see I made up a word), but I (and Loki) don't share her belief system so looking at it from the outside I can't find it acceptable. I wasn't suffering for writing, don't worry...I was suffering from being in any position other than laying on my stomach, which, thankfully, didn't prevent me from writing, though it did slow me down!; "Pouffy kitteh" (Apr4) Thank you. I don't know if it's possible for him to really hate them more! He has a very fixed narrative about them and sees everything through that lens. But he has more info now, and over time he may be able to look at some of that in a less rigid light; "Glitter Queen" (Apr4) "two feral manipulators," ha, I like that. I think Farbauti probably does feel some empathy for him, but there's a huge tangle of really complicated thoughts and feelings intertwined in all that. I would say no, the taboo name can't be Lopt, because that would mean that whoever (most likely Aesir) handed these stories down to the Midgardians (resulting in the mythology) knew that name, and that it was associated with Loki. But the name Loki was given on Jotunheim was not known beyond Jotunheim. But I love the idea of that! And thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed Jotunheim. It was a challenge to be honest, to give just enough of a glimpse of "what is Jotunheim like" without writing a travel guide of All Thing Jotunheim. It's meant to be through Loki's (and Thor's) eyes, too, so they're really only getting glimpses as well. I imagine some people would've preferred more or less, but hopefully it worked for most. Farbauti I think has this pretty well in hand for the moment, though I'm sure not everyone will be happy about it; Guest (Apr4) Thanks. Me too, ha, so many feelings for all of them! And thank you, happy to hear you found sympathy for Farbauti despite disliking her. Thanks, "characterization and interesting perspectives," yay!; Guest (Apr4) Thank you, there *were* some fun plot twists in there, hee hee; "Laura" (Apr15) Thanks! Perhaps we can say they're...fond of bold actions? :-) And her sons may indeed see it as backstabbing, Byleister especially, I think, though they both do love and respect their mother. Farbauti and Frigga definitely both have different styles of mothering, though Farbauti is not really a mother to Loki at this point so they aren't quite comparable. But yeah, Frigga was taking on a *very* different baby with a lot of unknowns, but she embraced what Farbauti did not. Oh gosh what an interesting thought, how Frigga would react if overhearing that conversation...she does feel protective of Loki. A Frigga-Farbauti meeting would be interesting! Re young Loki, that's what I was going for, that Jotunheim is a very harsh environment with plenty of wild deadly animals, babies are especially vulnerable and are naturally quiet, instead getting their needs met through this other biological connection. The water idea comes from me thinking that babies don't know how to control their "ice abilities" yet, they could accidentally freeze themselves into the water (so a self-preservation instinct), and warm water I figure wouldn't be considered pleasant by any Jotun (would probably feel like boiling water feels to us). Not sure what you mean about Loki not being able to eat enough, where's that coming from? He just had a naturally slender lanky frame and didn't have the super-size appetite Thor did and does, but he was eating healthy amounts and such. Never apologize for a long review, no writer ever complained about one. :-) ; "ladymouse2" (May7) Ah! You know I love to hear theories! Thanks for sharing. Good details to keep in mind. Does it change your theory if I say that Maeva and Loki's relationship was *after* Baldur's death? I think a vague reference to timing is in there somewhere, that places it after. Excellent timing for bringing up Maeva since she has her first scene with Loki in this chapter. Thank you for that amazing comparison BTW. I don't deserve it, but I'll thank you for it anyway!; "Natasha" (ch. 1) If you're still reading at this point, thank your cousin for me. :-) ; "ladymouse2" (May 10,12) I feel vaguely guilty about that, b/c that's a reference to vignette I've written within a story I haven't posted ("Any Other Child"), and I regret to say it will probably not be followed up on in Beneath (which is sort of spoiler in itself which I also feel vaguely guilty about). If anyone is overcome with curiosity and doesn't mind spoilers for a story I do hope to put up at some point, PM me and I guess I can fill you in. I think Frigga (and/or Odin) would eventually tell him about it, but she's probably made the right call here, that now wasn't the time. (Then again, that logic got them through 1000 years of Loki's life...) Theowyn often expresses things in a more astute manner than *I* do, too! Heimdall's comment to Loki I could go on and on about, in short I'd say he's not necessarily favoring Thor here, but is warning Loki of another potentially painful conflict on the horizon that Loki hasn't really consciously thought about. Hm, so you believed Loki, that he didn't feel hatred and jealousy toward Baldur? Ha, this is me teasing. We'll see what comes. Re trust etc. YES, they're trapped in a vicious cycle that it's not easy to step out of, for any of them; Guest (May13) You found it *yesterday* and leave a comment on Ch. 168? Wowwwwww. Glad you're enjoying it; Guest (May14) Thanks, and thanks for taking the time to say so; Guest (May16) Yes. Each time he has full taken his Jotun form (all times except when only the Casket caused it, in the movie and in the story Frigga tells Loki earlier from his childhood) he has not had hair. When he shows his Jotun form to the brothers and to Farbauti, in that form he's bald. They don't comment on his hair when he's in Aesir form because it's just part of him looking Aesir and alien; all of their comments are on his Jotun form. Hope that clears it up; "C" (Jun2) Thanks. No worries, no obligation to review. Ha, lucky you! He seems like a nice guy. And a great actor, yeah, he probably does know everybody! No need to *always* be professional...ha; "Glitter Queen" (Jun5) When I have internet again (!) I'll have to see if I can find that online. Thanks! I learned a ton from all that. Maybe someday...

WHEW. Previews for Ch. 170 "Confrontation" (unless I used that chapter title already): Confrontations on two realms. Or three.

Excerpt:

"Why did you have to keep provoking them? Why couldn't you just let it be? You will all kill each other if that's the best you can do," Thor said in frustration once they were alone again. "This must work, Loki. I understand these are not small matters, but they cannot get in the way of the goal."