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Beneath
Chapter Two Hundred – Law
"How long will it take to prepare another serpent?"
"That is enough," Odin said, setting his shoulders and pushing past Thor to position himself in front of Loki again. He met Loki's eyes for only a second before averting them and finding Thor. "What were you thinking? This is the height of imprudence."
"I was thinking…this is exactly why the retribution law exists. Loki endured a punishment, in" – he looked at Geirmund and paused, the sense of betrayal hitting now in the form of pain, a sharp blow to an unprotected chest – "in this man's place. It doesn't matter whether or not he knew of Loki's punishment. He had to have known that Loki would come under suspicion, and even if somehow he didn't, he still ran instead of coming forward with the truth, and he never spoke up upon his return. Loki has every right to seek retribution for this injustice."
"By setting another serpent in place? A punishment I specifically outlawed?"
"No, of course not."
"Do you remember what happened the last time power was so abruptly thrust upon him amidst trying circumstances?"
"Do you remember what it was like in those years? What he was like, after?"
"He is still standing right here," Loki said, glowering at both of them before focusing on Odin. "He has already been granted right of retribution by the current king of Asgard. Who are you?"
Odin's hackles rose at the challenge, but quickly deflated under Loki's icy glare. Loki was right. Unless he took the kingship back from his still too-impulsive firstborn – which he would be within his rights to do, given how Thor had acceded to the throne in the first place – he had no formal authority here. He still held one position, though, one he would never relinquish. "I am your father, Loki." He continued, despite Loki laughing as though genuinely amused. Loki might laugh, but he wouldn't verbally deny it, not in front of Jolgeir and Finnulfur who were unaware of Loki's Jotun birth. "I don't want to see you racing headlong down another ill-conceived path with emotion clouding your judgement."
"You're referring to my intended destruction of Jotunheim? I believe my judgement was impeccable."
"Stop."
Everyone turned to see Frigga standing beside Finnulfur.
"Please don't argue. There's been enough arguing."
"You should go, Mother," Loki said, the first to break the long silence. "You shouldn't be here for this."
"None of us should be here for this. None of us should have ever been here for any of this. And yet here we are. I'm not going to repeat my mistake, though. I'm not going anywhere. Loki," she said, stopping in front of him and reaching for his hand, then withdrawing to wrap her own together instead, "please don't repeat yours. Wait. There's no rush. There's no need to make this decision immediately, when…when emotions are raw."
"Waiting won't change anything. He has avoided justice for too long already."
"Yes. And a waiting period won't change that."
"There's no point in delaying the inevitable. And I'm still waiting for an answer to my question."
As Odin looked away in frustration his eyes briefly met Jane Foster's. Her presence here was entirely inappropriate, but the aggravation was muted; she was the least of his concerns at the moment. "If you will not listen to me, perhaps you will listen to Finnulfur."
The First Magistrate looked uncomfortable with the sudden attention, but responded in a firm if quiet voice. "The Right of Recompence and Retribution does not grant unrestrained decision-making to the aggrieved. Punishments must still fall within what is legally permissible. And…I must point out, Geirmund still has a right to a trial."
"A trial," Loki repeated drolly. "He's already confessed. You," he said, interrupting Finnulfur and turning to Geirmund. "Do you wish to recant your confession?"
Geirmund's denial was quick and unsurprising. The man had known and accepted his fate the moment he'd stepped through that doorway.
"He has no advocate. He hasn't even been offered one. This is not-"
"I had an advocate!" Loki shouted. When he continued, his control was back in place. "I had a trial. I had not just one, but five magistrates. What makes you think a trial will be to anyone's benefit?"
Finnulfur, Loki thought, at least had the decency to look ashamed. But he did not back down. "Geirmund, you do have the right to a trial, and an advocate to speak on your behalf. I would not like to compound the wrongs that have been done by failing to offer these rights, or by failing to encourage you to accept them."
"It would serve no purpose. I decline. But I thank you, Finnulfur."
"Do not thank me. I do it for Asgard. Not for you."
For the first time, Geirmund looked wounded. And it felt magnificent. Gratifying. Watching him writhe under that serpent would feel even better. "The law does not permit eighteen years under the serpent?"
"It does not. Not anymore," Finnulfur said.
"Pity." He'd already known that. But if the closest he could come was reasserting that he wanted it, he would happily do so. "Refresh my memory, then, Finnulfur. My punishment, as I recall, reflected a certain amount of creativity, since I, too, was a…a member of the king's immediate family. Isn't that ironic," he said, gaze falling first on Odin whose face was inscrutable, then quickly averting his gaze to his mother, instead. Her expression was pained; she shook her head minutely. He knew what she was saying to him, even as he wrenched her deepest pain out into the light of day. He felt his own eyes growing moist, and an apology trying to force its way over his throat. He turned away. He couldn't afford to lose focus. "Is that correct?"
"It is, my prince."
"And the usual punishment for murder of the king or his immediate family?"
Loki didn't miss the flickering of Finnulfur's eyes toward Geirmund. "Death."
"Hm. Tell me, then, Geirmund. Are you a member of a royal family? This one," Loki said with a dismissive gesture in their direction, "or…any other I should know about?"
"I am not, my prince."
"I see. Well…. I suppose it's the ax, then."
Loki heard multiple voices, Thor, Odin, and Finnulfur, each trying to respond at once – not his mother, interestingly – but he continued before any of them got out more than a handful of words. "But the ax is over so quickly." Geirmund's eyes were fixed firmly on the floor, though he clearly wasn't unaffected by this discussion of his fate; Loki reveled in every sign of fear and shame. "That hardly seems appropriate when my punishment lasted years. A fraction of a second of pain and it's over? There should be more to it. A flogging first, perhaps. Eighteen lashes. One for every year of Baldur's life, isn't that how the logic goes? But you're guilty not just of Baldur's death so that still seems insufficient." He put on a show of careful consideration while a thrill shuddered through his spine. "I've got it. One for each year of his life, as well as one for each year you failed to come forward with the truth."
"My lord, that would be…one thousand and twelve lashes? Plus the eighteen? There may be little need for the ax with such a number. It is beyond the bounds of law."
"I never said they had to be administered on the same day."
"Thor."
"Yes, Father," Thor said automatically, head spinning.
"Order a waiting period. Or I will."
The spinning stopped. Odin's face reflected an iron will, and Thor knew his father was saying exactly what Loki had said that, at some point, he would. He'd never taken the time to imagine under what circumstances Loki might be proven correct, but if he had, he never could have imagined this. It struck like Mjolnir splitting the sky with lightning and shaking the ground with thunder. This was exactly what he'd been trying to avoid, exactly what Jane had urged him to avoid – standing in judgement over Loki, a king instead of a brother. And right before him stood an offer to alleviate him of that burden. He could step down. Let his father deal with this. Now that the option had presented itself, the desire to be rid of this responsibly was nearly overwhelming. Loki doesn't need a king right now, he needs a… But Loki wouldn't even acknowledge him as his brother. How could he be a brother, when just like everyone else he'd believed that Loki willfully murdered their younger brother? What kind of brother was that?
Odin sighed. "I hearby-"
"Wait." Thor took a deep breath, steeling himself for what he knew he had to do. Like it or not, this was his responsibility; Thor Odinson did not shirk responsibilities because they were unpleasant. Not anymore. And perhaps by remaining as king, he could find a way to help make this right. "Loki…will you speak with me in private?"
"You have already granted me this right," Loki said sharply. "You cannot ungrant it."
"I'm not…ungranting it. Please," Thor said, surprised at how nakedly imploring the word sounded. He'd thought to offer privacy for Loki, but realized now that he needed it, too.
Loki stood his ground – the ground in front of Geirmund. For a thousand years this man had lived his life unknown to Loki. Unseen. He couldn't allow even one more minute to go by with him out of sight. Yet he stood also at an impasse, and going with Thor appeared to be the only way to break it and keep this process moving forward as it must. He looked first to Jolgeir, then to Heimdall. "Do not under any circumstances allow him to leave."
At Heimdall's slow nod, Loki strode for the balconies.
/
/
For the first time in the evening's unexpected developments, Jane felt self-conscious. Thor and Loki were gone, and she hadn't known any of the others for long; she'd barely spoken with Heimdall and Finnulfur she hadn't even formally met. The queen and Jolgeir she knew best, but they, like everyone else, looked trapped in their own minds, specifically probably eleventh-century memories that Jane could only imagine.
Before long, though, Finnulfur was on the move, and Jane thought at first that he was following Thor and Loki. He veered off toward the wall, though, and returned with a chair which he set down beside Jane.
"Finnulfur Lettason," he said. He hesitated a second, then continued after a false start. "First Magistrate of Asgard."
"Jane Foster. Astrophysicist. Of Midgard."
"I am pleased to meet you," he said, and when he took her hand and lifted it to his lips, she was expecting it, even if it seemed a little out of place under the circumstances.
"You, too. Thanks for the chair."
"You're quite welcome," he said with a nod, the words slow and thoughtful as though even for such a formulaic response he was choosing them with great care. He headed back to the wall, then, and returned with three more chairs, which he deposited beside the king and queen.
Frigga sat without a word, and when Odin didn't immediately follow suit, Finnulfur dropped into one of the other chairs. A gray-haired, gray-bearded man with deep wrinkles on his face, Jane had noticed earlier that he was just as tall as Thor, maybe even a smidge taller. He seemed to have shrunk in on himself tonight.
When Jane looked away from Finnulfur, she realized Odin was watching her.
"Do you have any idea what all this is about?" he asked.
Jane wasn't sure what he was getting at – his nearly flat tone gave little indication. "Loki told me about it when we were at the South Pole. He told me he made sure the arrow was too light to do any real harm. He told me it was an accident." Jane thought Odin looked angry, the way he set his jaw and shook his head. "I'm not leaving. Loki asked me to stay."
"I didn't ask you to leave."
If he hadn't looked angry before, he did now.
"Did you believe him?"
Jane looked to Frigga, momentarily confused.
"When he said the arrow was too light," the queen clarified. "When he said it was an accident. Did you believe him."
Had she ever wondered if it was the truth? She had. Had she ever seriously doubted it? No. Not even when Thor told her Loki was lying. "I did."
Frigga instantly looked away, jaw working.
No one asked her any more questions.
/
/
Loki gripped the stone railing, thoughts mired in sludge. Before him lay Asgard, but a head of russet hair filled his vision. Thor, he knew, stood nearby.
"I don't know what to say."
"Then we have a problem, since you're the one who wanted to talk."
Thor delayed a while longer – the problem wasn't that he didn't know what to say, not about the immediate issue, it was that he didn't want to say it. "A waiting period is a good idea."
"Why?" Loki asked, turning to face Thor, blond hair competing with the other for his attention. "Do you think I will grow less angry? If anything, the more time I have to think about it, the angrier I'll be. One lash for every year of that man's silence? It should be one lash for every day of it."
"Loki," Thor breathed, mind rebelling against that math. "You can't-"
"I can't? Why can't I? Really, why can't I? Why are you protecting him? Have you befriended him? Because he put in a few good words on my behalf…out of guilt? A few kind words to make up for…for…"
"I'm not protecting him. I'm protecting-"
"Don't say it. Don't you dare." He turned around again, putting his back to Thor. "I don't need anyone's protection. I need to not have someone grant me a right and then try to snatch it away when he doesn't like how I exercise it."
"I don't need anyone's protection now," Thor could hear Loki saying. He'd needed it then. And he hadn't found it at any turn, in any corner. Thor still remembered how fiercely he'd defended Loki. At first. "We've both changed so much, you and I," Thor said, joining Loki at the railing. "How many times did you tell me to stop and think?"
Loki huffed. "How many times did you listen?"
"None," Thor answered without hesitation. "And how many predicaments might have been avoided if I had?"
Loki tried to imagine what might have happened if Thor had listened on Jotunheim. If he'd gone along with Laufey's offer to let them leave in peace. Odin would be king, even if lying in the Sleep, Thor would be storming around furious over losing his one chance to fight Frost Giants and blaming Loki for it, and Loki himself would be…here. Basking in the short-lived exhilaration of successfully keeping Thor off the throne a little longer, and stewing in the same old mix of resentment and discontent he had for centuries, without all of the added textures and flavors it had taken on since that day. Stopping and thinking was perhaps overrated.
"Now here we are," Thor said. "The roles are reversed."
Face angled away, Loki didn't bother trying to control what showed on it, much less what was going on behind it. And with the object of his rage not right in front of him, a wave of exhaustion that had nothing to do with his physical condition swept over him. "Stop and think. Look around. We're surrounded." He didn't stop and think. He reminded me of my place. But that was my place. To tell him to stop and think. and his place was to insult me and then ignore me.
"The roles are reversed." Oversimplified as always, but Loki knew Thor wasn't wrong. He'd started to realize it after traipsing right through a dozen signs of war without connecting a single dot until the dots banded together and struck him in the face in a Svartalf tavern.
For Thor, the change had started at some point during his exile on Midgard, probably soon after Loki showed up and ripped away his every last hope.
Loki found himself staring down at his left hand. He knew exactly when his own change had happened. It started with that chance physical contact on Jotunheim. By the time Odin was lying still on those steps and Loki knew where he'd really come from, stopping and thinking was a thing of the past. He'd planned for months before letting those Frost Giants in to prevent Thor's succession. But he could easily count in hours the time it took him to decide to invite them in a second time. And Midgard? "You will go to Earth and obtain my trinket. In return, I will give you an army to take Earth as your own, to rule as you see fit. To show the one who sits on Asgard's throne which son was truly worthy of it." Seconds, if that, to agree to a plan that wasn't his, a plan he didn't know the first detail of. A plan that never would have been his, had he stopped and thought.
He'd been trying to rectify that. To do better. He'd planned assiduously for Alfheim. That it hadn't worked was not his fault; no amount of planning would have changed that.
"Twenty-four hours."
"What? You'll wait twenty… Loki, for something like this…twenty-four hours isn't enough. You need time to think it through. To ask more questions. Not just of Geirmund, but of Finnulfur, and anyone else you want to question. We're talking about a man's life."
"Yes," Loki said, turning from the railing. "We are. Baldur's. Baldur's life. That's whose life we're talking about. That's the only life we're talking about. Except we aren't, are we? We can barely manage to say his name. Geirmund gets a position in the Assembly and the ear of the king and we can't say Baldur's name."
"I didn't know. If I had known, I never would have…." Thor shook his head. "I can't even get my own head around this. I can't imagine what it's like for you. I don't want to drag this out indefinitely. I just don't want you to do something that later you'll wish you'd done differently, because the shock of it is so fresh and you haven't had a chance to weigh it properly."
"I'm leaving tomorrow."
"Tomorrow? But you–"
"Tomorrow. I'll wait twenty-four hours. And believe me, I won't be thinking of anything else."
After a long minute, Thor agreed. It didn't seem enough, but Geirmund had admitted his guilt, and any specific amount of time was arbitrary. "If twenty-four hours pass, and you aren't certain, or you need more information…Loki, swear to me you'll take the time you need."
That one, at least, wasn't hard, because it obligated him to nothing. He would be certain. "I swear."
/
/
Loki stood in silence as Thor explained. Geirmund was still there, which was all Loki really cared about. In twenty-four hours, they would meet in the throne room. Thor faltered after that bit of additional information, and Loki realized they had not discussed what was to be done with the guilty man between now and then. Finnulfur was about to say something, but Loki cut him off.
"You have a wife?"
"I do, my prince."
"Do you love her?"
"Very much so."
"Does she know what you did?"
"I couldn't–"
"A simple yes or no is sufficient."
"No."
"Where do you live?"
"We…since the war we've lived here, in the palace."
A macabre smile spread over Loki's face, followed by a laugh just as dark. "Of course you do. Well, that won't work at all. Jolgeir, Heimdall, see that he's put in chains and accompanied by guards, and walked to…Central Market and back. That should do it. If any ask why you're in chains, my lord, you are free to speak with them if you wish. His guards should then take him back to his chambers. To his wife. Release him from the chains and stand watch at the door. Spend your twenty-four hours as you like, as long as it is within those chambers."
He got the acknowledgements he was looking for from Jolgeir and Geirmund, but from Thor he saw surprise. Thor probably thought he was showing mercy. Loki, however, knew that those twenty-four hours would be no mercy. They would be torture. Freedom and comforts that only fed a sense of desperation and doom. Constant reminders of a life already forfeited.
/
/
Heimdall and Jolgeir were not gone long; the nearest Einherjar were not far away. When they returned, Jolgeir quietly reported that one of them had gone to collect chains.
After taking a moment to review the situation and finding it satisfactory, Loki took stock of his surroundings and knew that whatever further discussion might arise here, he had no desire to engage in it. He took a quick breath and let it out. "See you in twenty-four hours."
Jane watched as Loki opened one of the doors and strode out without a backward glance. Thor started after him, but Frigga put out an arm to stop him.
"You antagonize each other. Let him have some time to himself."
"He's leaving. He's leaving after this, Mother. And he may never come back."
"That…that can't be true."
"It is. He told me himself, and he told Jane the same. Didn't he?"
Jane took a few tentative steps toward the group. "He did say he was leaving."
"He can't leave now," Frigga said.
"He just did," Odin said sharply.
"About that…. Maybe I should…," Jane said, faltering, torn between running after Loki who was getting further away with every passing second, and not wanting to override the wishes of his royal family, in particular his mother. But Loki was alone, and dealing with things she could barely imagine. Jane couldn't help remembering Loki standing in front of a cradle, knife in hand. Loki didn't always make the best decisions when he was upset.
"Go," Frigga said. "You may be the only one he'll tolerate right now."
"Okay. Um…"
"Heimdall," Frigga said.
"He is near the… Come. I'll take you," Heimdall said, heading for the doors already.
"Dr. Foster."
Jane turned back from following Heimdall, Odin's stern voice instantly putting her more on edge than she already was. She'd said some harsh things to him at the South Pole, and the concern over potential repercussions of that had never quite gone away.
"If he is unstable, do not leave him alone."
Jane was so surprised she simply stared for a few seconds before she managed a nod.
Thor gave her an encouraging smile, which she returned before hurrying to the doors where Heimdall waited.
"Do you require anything of me, Your Majesty?"
"No, Finnulfur. You may go. Thank you for your assistance."
"Very well. I'll be in my office, should you need anything later."
"Jolgeir, you may go as well," Odin said. "Loki has ensured that Geirmund's confession will be made public as soon as possible. You are free to speak of it, but I ask that you use discretion. We may still seek to control how this information spreads."
"Geirmund," Frigga said once it was just the three of them, feeling the name out now that it was no longer the thing it had been. "Geirmund Faldarson. Did you know of a Faldar, Odin?"
"A Vanir jeweler, yes. But not an Aesir family plot farmer."
"Thor? Did you ever hear of Geirmund, growing up?"
"I knew some of Baldur's friends," he answered, and even now, after this evening of being thrust back into events of his youngest brother's death, it still felt strange to say his name, to think back on a group of people he hadn't thought about for a thousand years. His own form of time travel, and one he could actually understand. "But Geirmund was never his friend."
"I never met him before he was brought into the Assembly," Frigga said.
"Nor I," Thor agreed.
"No doubt he did all he could to avoid meeting any of us upon his return to Asgard," Odin said.
"When I first met him he was so nervous," Thor said. "With good reason as it turns out, since Loki recognized him. I always thought his nerves were simply due to him being so junior before his sudden elevation."
"Loki recognized him?" Frigga asked.
"He was leaving early. He has a—" Thor looked away for a moment. He hadn't thought about that. "He has a newborn daughter. Under a month old. He was probably hurrying home to help his wife. Loki saw him leaving and ordered him sent back. He didn't know who he was, but he recognized him from the stables that day."
"He was probably leaving early to avoid encountering Loki," Odin said. "And he almost succeeded."
Thor nodded. "If Loki hadn't seen him…we might never have known. Loki…we never would have believed him."
"He never denied it," Odin said. "Not after."
"Because—" Thor began, time travelling again, this time to the South Pole, less than a week ago. Sitting on the floor beside Jane in the Vehicle Maintenance Facility. It had been such an uncomfortable moment. He didn't want to talk about Baldur, and he didn't want to reopen long-healed wounds, and he didn't want to argue with Jane, who couldn't possibly understand things that had taken place so long before her birth. But he had been wrong, and Jane had been right. "Because he didn't want to wind up under a snake again. That's what Jane said, when I told her Loki confessed."
"Geirmund seemed like such a good man," Frigga said, pressing forward and ignoring what she could not yet handle. "Krusa spoke glowingly of him. As glowingly as Krusa ever speaks of anything. When he defended Loki, I commended him to Krusa. I told him how impressed I was, not only with his competence, but with his integrity. That he stood up, literally, for a man who was being accused based on circumstantial and indirect information. Krusa told me he'd never known anyone who worked harder or had more integrity than Geirmund."
"He was driven to atone for his crimes," Odin said.
"That isn't atonement," Thor immediately retorted. "That isn't how you atone for anything. What good did all his hard work and his feigned integrity do Loki? Loki didn't even know his name. He should have come forward right away. At the very least he should have come forward when he returned to Asgard and found out what happened, when it still mattered. Instead he embarks on his idea of atonement…to be kind and work hard? When Loki suffered and starved under that serpent? Be kind and work hard? Everyone strives for that. It's called being a responsible citizen!"
"Thor. Calm yourself."
"How do I do that, Father? I don't— You believed the best of me. You told me that. But not of Loki."
"That is not what I said."
"You didn't say you believed the best of both of us. You said me. If you'd had all the same evidence against me that you had against Loki, would you have believed I killed Baldur?"
"You are emotional, and I'm going to forget you said that. But I remind you that you believed he was guilty, too. We all did."
"That's not—"
"Enough. Both of you, stop this." Frigga shook her head. "Or don't. If shouting at each other makes you feel better, go right ahead. Just wait until I've left. I need some fresh air."
Frigga stormed out; Odin watched her but did not follow. He turned back to Thor. "The decision wasn't mine," he said wearily.
"You were involved."
"Would you rather I hadn't been?" Odin asked, fixing Thor with a pointed look. "Loki wouldn't be here to recognize Geirmund and reveal the truth."
Thor's head jerked to the side as though he'd been physically slapped. It was true. As Finnulfur had just reminded them, the crime Loki was declared guilty of was, by law, punishable by death. With that thought, instead of wanting to shout, he wanted to be ill.
"I understand your emotional reaction, Thor. But you cannot allow your anger to overcome reason. This is a sensitive matter, and you have acted in haste, in turn enabling Loki to act in haste, ruled by emotion, when forethought and prudence would have better served. You are still too impulsive."
This time Thor didn't immediately dismiss the admonition. He might have made a mistake here tonight. He might have enabled Loki to make a mistake. Perhaps Loki would choose Geirmund's punishment in a vengeance-fueled rage instead of considering it in a calm, rational manner. But perhaps it was unrealistic that Loki could ever consider it in such a manner. Thor wasn't sure he could. And now that he thought about it, he was amazed he hadn't immediately exacted his own vengeance against Geirmund. "I trusted him. I welcomed him as one of my advisors. I even tried to turn this feast into a Welcoming for his daughter. I shared meals with him and looked him in the eye and never knew he killed my brother, and allowed my other brother to bear the blame for it."
"It was I who approved Krusa's nomination of him. I didn't know, and neither did you. Betrayal can inflict far more damage than a physical wound."
Thor nodded, feeling that viscerally. Geirmund had attacked them all, but not as an honorable Aesir. He had pledged loyalty then slipped the sword into their backs. He swallowed down the fresh wave of anger and grasped for reason. It remained elusive. "What do we do now?"
"You should speak with Bragi. He needs to be made aware. The rest of the Assembly must soon follow, and all of Asgard. Geirmund is well-liked, and we must move quickly to ensure there's no opportunity for anyone to blame Loki for his downfall."
Thor drew in a sobering breath. He hadn't thought of that. He was aware that even those who liked Loki, or at least valued his skills as a warrior and strategist, were mostly of two minds about him. Asked who they would rather go for a tankard of mead with at a local tavern, most would probably name Geirmund. Asked who they would trust, if Loki said one thing and Geirmund another…. Thor's chest tightened at the thought. Thankfully, Geirmund hadn't attempted to deny anything, at least not yet. "I'll summon him immediately. You aren't going to join me?" he asked, realizing that his father had not said "we."
"I'm going to see Finnulfur."
"Anything I should know about?"
"No."
"All right," Thor said, curious but too many other things on his mind to give it more thought. Odin turned to leave without another word; Thor called out to him in surprise. "Do you have no advice for me, or words of wisdom? How to handle this?"
Odin barked a laugh, with no softening of his severe expression. "If I think of any, I'll let you know."
Thor watched him go, then followed him out to the reception hall where he instructed one of the Einherjar on duty there to find Bragi, and continued on to his office. With no need to hurry at this point, he trudged over to the desk, sat down, placed his elbows on the desk, and let his head sink down onto his hands.
It was for the best that his mother had stopped him from going after Loki. He was no good to himself right now, much less to Loki. Jane, he hoped, was faring well. It was unfair of them to let the potential burdens of talking Loki out of rash actions or enduring his raging onslaughts fall on her small shoulders. But she had gained Loki's trust and befriended him at a time when such a thing seemed truly impossible. Her shoulders were strong.
It had been hard knowing that the whole time he had longed to see Jane again and could not, Loki had been with her instead. Now he was grateful for it, and not just in vague terms of principle. Jane, somehow, had seen something in Loki that the rest of them hadn't, and had believed him when he said he hadn't meant to kill Baldur. Thor thought back on that conversation at the South Pole again, and knew he owed Jane an apology. He'd thought Loki had duped her, spun a false version of the tale to earn her sympathy, perhaps. Jane had reacted in anger when he suggested it.
He wished he could take it back, what he'd said to her.
But there was so much else he wished he could take back.
He was surely recreating the memory, rather than remembering it directly. He hadn't thought of it in centuries, probably not since long before his and Loki's hundredth birthdays. But in his mind's eye he could see Loki's young face, still indistinguishable from that of a youth, in the moment Thor had first looked him in the eye after letting go of his belief that Loki was innocent.
Loki's reaction had made him feel guilty. His guilt had made him angry. At Loki. He had turned his back on his brother. Abandoned him, like everyone else.
Thor's head dropped lower and his arms stretched outward, fingers hooking around the edges of the desk. When he stood, the desk rose with him and in a powerful lunge he hurled it against the far wall, where it struck in a cacophony of cracking and splintering wood.
To the right, in the doorway, stood Bragi.
"Your Majesty?"
Thor took a steadying breath. "We have a problem."
He recognized the absurdity of the statement as soon as he made it, surrounded by the debris from his desktop, while not far from Bragi lay the ruined heap of the desk and the contents of its drawers. Loki would have made a sharp-tongued jest.
Bragi's expression remained placid. "Perhaps we should move to a different office?"
/
Sorry for the long delay on this one! At least the chapter-after (not the next but the one after that) is already well over half done due to the weird way the next, 201, got written).
So...we've hit 200! I know the website has this as 201 already but for me it's 200. Wow. There's nothing I could really say here that wouldn't just be repeating myself. Thanks to everyone who's faved, followed, dropped in a comment, made yourself known on this looooooong long ride.
Previews for 201 and into 202: Everyone has to deal with the revelation, and everybody deals with it in their own way.
Excerpt:
"If they sent you here to try to convince me to show mercy, then-"
"They didn't. Nobody said anything about that. No agenda. I think they're just worried about you."
Loki gave a dark laugh. "Worried I'll try to blow up another realm, perhaps. Or conquer one."