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Beneath
Chapter Two Hundred Fourteen — Fairy Tales
"I don't think he was joking," Thor told Jane when the door closed behind Loki and they were alone. "Loki has left Asgard before, even for years at a time. Never twenty years, or…however long he's thinking of now…," Thor said, faltering as he wondered about what Loki wasn't saying. "He may mean to leave us for good."
Setting aside her own concerns about Loki's plans, Jane considered it. "I don't think so. Not for good."
Thor perked up in hope. "Has he said something to you?"
"No, not about that. It's just an instinct. Maybe wishful thinking on my part, because I don't want him to lose his family. Or you to lose him. I don't know. But one of the first things I learned about him, when I still thought he was Lucas Cane, one of the first true things I learned about him, was how much he loves his mother. It's hard for me to imagine him walking away from that relationship permanently."
"They've always been particularly close, Mother and Loki. Though I do think he's been cooler toward her than normal."
"And it seems like things have gotten a little better between you two."
"Perhaps. I hope so. I'm not very sure of myself with Loki anymore."
"And you wouldn't believe how many times I heard how much better Asgard is than Midgard."
Thor laughed; he couldn't help it. He hoped Jane wasn't offended. "It's a general Aesir belief that Asgard is by far the best of the realms. If Loki still holds to it, I confess I'm pleased. Though he didn't choose the most hospitable part of Midgard to draw his comparisons."
"I'm pretty sure he was just being a jerk, anyway," Jane said with a smile.
"Ah. That I can imagine," Thor said, heart warmed with a flush of fond nostalgia. "Loki long ago raised his skill at that to the level of a master."
"Did he ever try to have a seeing contest with you?"
"Seeing contest? Whose vision was sharpest? Many times. And Loki's was always best. I'm certain he cheated." Thor's smile faded. It was instinct to say "Loki cheated." Loki did often cheat. So did Thor, in certain circumstances, when cheating was deemed acceptable, and all in good fun. "I don't know if I should say that now. If it's wrong to say it."
"I guess you'll have to ask Loki."
"Loki would answer that he'd rather I not speak to him at all."
"You don't know that. Don't give up, Thor. You put your trust in him with this. I'm sure it meant something to him, even if he doesn't say so."
"He did say so…I think. Right before you reached us. I don't know what to make of it."
"Maybe you should just take it at face value, whatever he said. Don't overthink it."
Thor regarded Jane with a playful grin. "Loki? I should take something Loki said at face value?" He laughed and shook his head. "Maybe you're right. I have little choice. I'm happy you know him, too, Jane. I'm grateful you befriended him, though I know it couldn't have been easy at times. I used to think sometimes about how I wished I could introduce you. How I hoped that someday Loki would be…that it would be safe to introduce you. He beat me to it. Despite how it happened…I mean it when I say I'm glad of it now."
"Me, too."
"Some, ah, some unpleasant things were said here tonight. About me, and about Loki. I wish you hadn't heard it."
"Hey," Jane said, taking Thor's hand. He looked embarrassed. "I don't know everything that happened here. But I know you, and I know Loki. And we both know that there was more going on with Loki when he was king than they're aware of. About the two of you…I don't think I heard anything I didn't already know."
Thor nodded, thinking back on that first night he'd met Jane, the next morning, how atrociously he'd behaved. She had indeed already seen those poor qualities Loki had apparently ascribed to him, that his friends had not disagreed with. "Of the two of us, though, of you and me…I think you were the more dangerous."
"Me?"
"Have you forgotten already? Twice, Jane."
Jane broke into laughter. "Once. I keep telling you Darcy was driving the first time."
"At your direction, wasn't she?"
"All right, fine, yes. I can give you a run for your money on 'dangerous.' Come on. Come with me while I pack my bag?"
Thor readily agreed, and Jane laced her fingers through his as they headed out of the throne room. "What's the time difference between here and New York?" he asked.
Jane made a quick calculation, from Asgardian time to South Pole time to New York time. "New York is twenty hours earlier. Or think of it as four hours later. I'm not sure how the dates line up so I'm not sure which is technically correct. Planning a trip to see Tony?"
"Yes, I must. I'll have some things to take care of here first, but I want to speak with Tony tomorrow, and I don't want…. Geirmund knows that time difference well."
"He made a lot of trips there?" Jane asked. She'd had that impression from various things she'd heard last night and today, but she didn't know the details.
"He did. He met regularly with Tony, and with Pepper Potts. Mostly in New York, but sometimes elsewhere. I think I heard a…Brazil mentioned? Is that a place?"
Jane smiled. Loki would know it, but then Thor had never planned to conquer Earth and had never researched its countries. "It's a place. Big country in South America."
"I think he's seen more of your world than I have. I didn't keep track. I couldn't. I was trying to lead and to fight. I asked others to do so much for me. My mother, my advisors…I relied on Jolgeir for a dozen different things. I was distracted. Perhaps if I'd paid more attention…perhaps I would have noticed something…"
"Thor."
Thor looked up to see Jane unexpectedly at eye level, standing two steps above him. He hadn't realized he'd come to a stop.
"It's not your fault. It happened over a thousand years ago. There wasn't anything to notice."
"But there was. He was so nervous. So dedicated. He never wanted to accept praise. He—"
"And from that you were somehow supposed to guess that he killed your brother? He was new, right? That's what you said. He was new, and young for such a senior position, so it made sense he was nervous around his king. And dedicated? You were at war. Anybody who wasn't dedicated would have stood out more than someone who was. And being modest isn't some kind of secret signal that you killed somebody and let somebody else take the blame for it. Please don't beat yourself up over this. You had no way of knowing. And as soon as you found out, you did the right thing."
"I just wish I could have done more. Loki—." Someone had just started up the stairs, two someones. Thor held a finger over his lips. It was still easy to forget that these stairs and this entire wing did not offer the privacy they normally did, and wouldn't again until those who'd moved into the palace during the war for safety and efficiency moved out again. Still, it was very late now, and likely not a night to be out celebrating for those now residing here, not under the circumstances.
"Your Majesty," one man said, quickly echoed by a second as they came around the turn. Both dropped into a bow before Thor got a good look at them, but when they rose he recognized them. They'd both stood with Geirmund's wife earlier tonight. Thor nodded and they continued on their way.
"They were there tonight," Jane whispered when she could no longer here the footsteps.
"Yes. Let's get off the stairs."
Jane fell into step beside Thor again and they continued up in silence, but when they reached the fourth-floor landing, a door further down the hall opened and people spilled out of it. Jane started to continue over to her door, but Thor was slowing and again coming to a stop, so she came back to his side, remaining a step behind him. She didn't know these people – seven of them, including the one she knew was Dagrun, the two men who'd come past a couple of minutes earlier who were now carrying a big wooden chest between them, a woman hefting a white box up on her shoulder, and an older woman holding a baby – and she didn't want to.
The chorus of "Your Majesties" and bowing started as the group drew near, along with a few "My Ladies." The men with the chest started to lower it to the floor before Thor put his hand up to stop them from bowing again.
"What's going on?" Thor asked.
"We're helping Dagrun move out, Your Majesty," the older woman with the baby answered. "We've got most of it already. We'll be back for the rest tomorrow morning."
"You don't have to do that. Not right away. I hope no one told you otherwise."
"No one had to—"
"Ma. Go on ahead. All of you. Please."
"Did someone pressure you into this?" Thor asked Dagrun once the others were out of sight.
"No, Your Majesty. It's my preference," she said, rubbing her hands over the skirt of her dress. "I'm only here because Geirmund was made an advisor to the throne, and he should never have held such a position. He didn't belong here and so neither do I."
"His crimes are not yours. Bosi isn't alone, Dagrun. The Assembly will stand behind you in support."
"It isn't the Assembly I have to look at in the mirror. He doesn't want me to go with him, you know. Thinks we'd be better off without him."
"That is your choice," Thor said, growing uncomfortable. Being confronted with this again, with essentially another victim of Geirmund's crimes, made him feel every bit of the weight of the day.
"It's not really a choice. I'm sorry, Your Majesty. I'm so ashamed of what he did. What he continued to do, every day of these many long years. I don't know how he looked in the mirror. But I can't abandon him, even if he wants me to. And I can't continue to walk these corridors as though I belong here. I thank you for your concern. It's kind of you. If I may…my lady?"
Jane's eyes widened briefly. She'd felt almost like an invisible observer until now. "Yes?" she said reluctantly.
"I've heard you are of Midgard. Is that true?"
"Yes. Um…Earth. We call it Earth."
"Earth," Dagrun repeated, the familiar word sounding odd to Jane from her mouth. She said it differently than Thor and Loki. Like someone who knew the word "Earth" would soon be replacing the word "Midgard" in her vocabulary. "It must be a fine place, for you to be from there. I would like to assure you that my husband will do everything in his power to serve Earth as he is directed, and while I know little of magic or agronomy, I pledge that I will also do everything I can to assist, and to not be a burden upon your realm."
"Thank you," Jane said, mostly because she had no idea what else to say.
Dagrun bowed. "By your leave, Your Majesty, my lady."
Thor nodded and Dagrun hurried down the stairs.
Jane continued on to her door, and with a quick "hi" to the Einherjar on duty she opened it up. Thor stepped in behind her and closed the door. "That was…"
"Unpleasant?"
"You, too? I thought it was just me."
Thor shook his head. "I was there when Geirmund found out she was laboring with their daughter. I sent him out of a meeting early to be with her. And I saw her at the pronouncement of course…but this was the first time I've met her. She seemed unsettled."
"No surprise there."
"No."
Jane glanced around the room she'd barely been in these few days she'd been here. "I don't know why she felt like she had to talk to me. I don't have anything to do with any of that."
"She doesn't know that," Thor said, fixing a curious look on Jane. He supposed it wouldn't make sense to her. "She doesn't know who you are. Only what little she's heard or read, and that she's seen you with me and with my family. I'm sure she assumes you hold great importance. And you do, of course," he hastened to add. "But I mean that she probably thinks you're a Midgardian princess of some sort."
"Really?" Jane looked down at herself. Add a tiara and you do look the part. The iridescent peach gown she'd chosen this morning was simple by Asgardian standards. She noticed now that even though she'd been wearing it all day, she couldn't spot a single wrinkle. "Does everybody here think I'm a princess?"
"Those who don't know otherwise probably do." He relaxed into a grin. "Midgard does have far more princesses than Asgard."
"Not hard to top zero," Jane said with an answering smile. She hadn't thought much about that before, what random people on Asgard thought of her. That random people on Asgard were thinking about her. Thor hadn't gone for much PDA. But he hadn't tried to pretend like she was some kind of business partner or one of the Avenger heroes of New York, either. Are they sizing me up as a potential future queen?
The muscles across Jane's chest pulled uncomfortably taut. "I better go get changed, okay? I can't go back to the Pole dressed like this. And it's not even my gown. I should just…I'll go get changed. Do you want something to drink? Hold on, let me get you something to drink."
"I'm not thirsty," Thor said, enjoying Jane's familiar burst of nervous energy. She was so different from anyone he'd known before, the spark within her uniquely hers. She fascinated him; he could watch and listen without saying a word for as long as she would let him. Someday soon he was going to have to ask her more about her stars, just so he could drink in her excitement. Kiss her breathless afterward. Unless she kissed him breathless first.
"Really? Okay. I'm thirsty. I'll just go get something for myself. You're sure you don't want anything?"
Thor shook his head and watched as Jane disappeared into the kitchen.
Jane grabbed a glass, filled it with water from the motion-activated faucet – not one of those annoying ones that kept cutting off before you were done, or kept going after, wasting water, though they had to have perfected the purification and reuse of gray water here, so probably wasting water wasn't as much of a concern. That bath after all had just kept going and going, recirculating even after she turned it off, and two-minute showers back at the Pole were going to be hard to go back to. She gulped down the cold water so fast her empty stomach protested. Dinner was by now a long time ago, a simple affair of a spiced meat pastry, picked up along the way back from Loki's tailor amid apologies, and eaten alone on her small balcony, enjoying the view, the fresh warm air, and a few minutes of calm.
Calm. Jane set the glass down and shook her head at herself. She was overreacting. And she'd never cared what people thought of her, so there was no need to start now. That wasn't exactly true, of course. She mostly hadn't cared. As for the rest…she'd learned to develop a thick skin and ignore it.
She heard footsteps behind her, and swung around to find Thor leaning against the wall in the wide entryway.
"Does it make you uncomfortable, to be thought a princess?"
"Not really. It's just…strange. Where I'm from, I mean my country, not my whole planet, we actually don't have princesses. It sounds almost like something from a fairy tale. Like a fantasy story for kids," she clarified.
"I'd like to treat you like a princess. Fantasies don't have to be only for children," Thor said, watching Jane's hand go up to rub the back of her neck.
"I already kind of feel like one, dressed like this. And last night, with that incredible gown and all those sapphires..."
"You were a vision."
"Yeah?" Jane said, drifting across the kitchen toward Thor. His voice had grown husky, and he wasn't doing anything but standing there, pulling her to him without lifting a finger.
"Mm-hm."
Her hand went up around Thor's shoulder and she pushed up on her toes as his arm slipped around her back. He bent down to meet her so she no longer had to strain to reach. Whatever tension had lingered slipped away, and Jane's muscles all but resigned their job as she relaxed into Thor's strength and let him take the lead. He drew her lower lip in between his. She splayed her fingers across his cheek, her thumb dipping down to the crease of his mouth where his beard and mustache surrounded smooth bare skin. When his hand came up to cup her chin he captured her lips more fully and she kissed him back, breathing in his steadiness and relishing the little sparks he was setting off in her everywhere he touched. She smiled into his mouth, imagining that with his gift for lightning, maybe those sparks were real.
When she drew back it wasn't far, and her hands trailed down his side to find his, where they'd come to rest at the curve of her lower back. Thor was watching her with a heated gaze behind lowered lids, thumbs rubbing circles in her palms. Neither of them said anything for a while.
He drew in a deep breath, trying to clear his head. Loki was waiting, Odin and Frigga, too, probably. Tonight wasn't going to stand in for what he'd hoped for last night. "I wish you didn't have to go. Princess Jane."
With the spell broken, Jane wrapped her arms around him and rested her head against his broad chest, laughing softly into the leather and the cool metal against her cheek. "Me, too."
"You don't, you know. You could stay. I'm not asking," Thor quickly appended when Jane pulled away to look up at him again. "I know it's a rare opportunity you've earned, to spend this time working at the South Pole. And much of Asgard remains in disarray, much more than you've seen. But I can't help imagining my own fairy tale."
"That's what they're there for," Jane said. "A little imagination can help you through the cold. Or the disarray. But I do have to get back. The carriage is about to turn into a pumpkin, and this gown into long johns and overalls, and these silk shoes into bunny boots. If I had a tiara I guess it would be turning into a balaclava."
"I…a pumpkin?"
Jane laughed and gave Thor's hand a squeeze before heading back into the living room. "Cinderella. Fairy tale. Oh! Like Midgardian kennings. Cultural references everybody knows. I'll tell you the story someday. I'll tell you all the fairy tales."
"I look forward to it," Thor said, following Jane.
"There were times when I wished I'd said yes, you know. Back when you first asked me to come here, when you came to see me in Tromso. It was hard sometimes, at the Pole. But I wouldn't trade this for anything. All the experiences I've had, even the hard ones. And Loki…"
"You were good for him."
"The Pole was good for him."
"You were good for him, Jane."
She gave a bashful little shrug. She hadn't really done anything miraculous for Loki. She'd just been his friend. Someone he could trust. Someone who tried to deal honestly with him, as he was in the moment, and not just as the sum of all his past misdeeds. "Now you all know the truth about Baldur's death."
"Something good has come of it all, somehow." Thor didn't understand how it had all come about, how Loki had recognized Geirmund after all that time, but sometimes improbable things happened, especially when Loki was involved.
"Will it change anything for Loki, for how people see him? Now that everyone will know he didn't kill his brother?"
"I don't know. I hope so," Thor said, remembering last night's impromptu Assembly. "Impressions were formed long ago, even though he was officially pardoned and our father went to great lengths to ensure he wouldn't be mistreated over any of that. And Loki's history here is filled with more pages than that one. His brief rule is not remembered fondly. I've tried to make sure his role in winning the war is known. Perhaps combined with learning he wasn't responsible for our brother's death will encourage those who regard him poorly to reconsider. It may also help that Loki undertook his responsibilities tonight soberly. I hope he'll be viewed as having acted with wisdom. It will at least be clear that there was neither bloodlust nor madness."
"Some people are mad at him because of the Ice Casket. Because he gave it back to Jotunheim."
"Yes," Thor said with a nod. "Many Einherjar gave their lives fighting the Frost Giants, or the Jotuns, I mean to say, first on Midgard and then on Jotunheim. When at last the Jotuns were surrounded and their defeat was inevitable, my father took the Ice Casket and a truce with their King Laufey ended the fighting. The Casket was paid for in blood." Put that way, it sat uneasily even with him, and he knew Loki had done the right thing, knew he himself had done the right thing in putting his own weight behind the decision. He hadn't had much time to deal with the issue; he was going to have to find time for it, among all the other things he was going to have to find time for. "Loki did what was necessary, and he did it in a way that doesn't put Asgard or any other realm in any danger. The people need to understand that. Some of them, though…they've mistrusted Loki for so long that it's become ingrained. It might help if he would make an effort. If he would try to demonstrate to the people that…. But he refuses." He mustered a smile for Jane. He shouldn't be burdening her with all this. Not when they had so little time left. "Everything involving Loki is complicated. It's my responsibility, though. I'll figure out how to handle it. Loki is free to go, but I want him to feel free to stay, too."
"Without worrying about food safety."
"What?"
"There was an incident at that tavern we went to for the Ancestors' Song. I didn't actually see what happened, but whatever it was, Loki was worried about who was going to be making his food."
Thor's jaw tightened. Loki hadn't mentioned that. Unsurprising, of course. "Which tavern?"
"I don't know the name," Jane said. Thor's voice was a deep angry rumble, reminding her of that time in Puente Antiguo when he'd said he had to go deal with his brother. She remembered how sincerely apologetic the owner of the tavern had been over his father's behavior. She could describe the tavern, but she couldn't send an angry Thor there, not when Loki seemed to be on good terms with the owner and had also seemed satisfied with how the matter had been handled. "I didn't bring it up because of that specific tavern or any specific person. I just thought you should know that's out there."
"I'll handle it." In the early days once Loki was up and about again after the end of his punishment for Baldur's death, there had been incidents. Thor had taken care of them, and before long, there were no more incidents. Perhaps it hadn't been the best way to deal with the problem, but at the time it was the only way he knew. Loki, he remembered, had protested. So Thor had started taking care of them when Loki wasn't around.
"At least they all know he's not behind the war now."
Thor nodded, but remembered that argument on the stairs, when Loki tried to insist that the war was still his fault…like he argued that Baldur's death was still his fault. That he wasn't "innocent." Thor was going to have to engage scholars to carefully and accurately document how the war had begun, and the reasons for it, because Loki couldn't be counted on not to say things that deliberately incriminated himself, even though it was by now obvious that Loki had never collaborated against Asgard with the Dark Elves or anyone else. "Loki is so obstinate," he said in frustration.
"Yes, he is," Jane said with a surprised laugh at the outburst. "But in a way that only other obstinate people like ourselves can truly appreciate."
Thor huffed a grumbled agreement. He knew he, too, could be obstinate, but he didn't think comparing him to Loki in that regard was quite fair. "Wait…you aren't obstinate, Jane."
Her laugh was less restrained this time. "You just haven't been around me long enough. Ask Loki his opinion on that."
Loki, Thor remembered, had been rude toward Jane, when enumerating their time journey adventures. It hadn't been sincere, apparently; merely some play Loki was putting on. He was struggling at the time to grasp what he was hearing about travel to different times, and never quite put together what else was going on. It disturbed him then, this thing that shouldn't have been possible but was, this thing which was considered so abhorrent on Asgard that was never to be discussed, yet Loki and Jane had not just discussed it but done it. It disturbed him again now, but for another reason entirely. He shouldn't have to ask Loki about Jane.
Thor gripped Mjolnir, and with a thought a crackling charge zipped up from the hammer to his armor, sending away the metal pieces and leaving him in leather, arms bare. "I haven't been around you enough." He set the hammer down on the floor beside him.
"Um…about that…"
"Yes?" Thor asked after a moment. Jane looked nervous, and it made him nervous, too.
"Sit with me?" They settled on a large divan, Jane taking the time to arrange the gown around her, because she still hadn't changed, and there was a long flowing piece trailing down the back, kind of like a lighter version of a cape. It wasn't strictly necessary, but she hadn't realized until the moment was upon her how much she'd been dreading this. She hadn't been avoiding it – they'd had so few opportunities to talk in private – but if Thor hadn't dropped this right into her lap by indirectly bringing it up himself, she might have left Asgard without raising it, saving it for the next time, when nobody was waiting for them and time was not in short supply. She might have avoided it.
"Jane, I'm sorry," Thor said, growing ever more unnerved by Jane's fidgeting and silence. "The way things have been…it isn't what I wanted. From the very beginning. I thought I'd return to Asgard, deal with Loki, and come right back. And I wasn't back half an hour before I had destroyed my only way back to you. Nothing has been right since then. I couldn't keep my word to you, and I believed my brother was dead, and I found out he wasn't born my brother at all, and then Loki attacked Midgard and I had to deal with that, and I made sure you were safe but I couldn't go—"
"Thor, stop. It's okay. I already know all that, and it's okay."
"It's not. Perhaps it was all unavoidable, but it's not okay. You deserve better. We deserve better. You deserve so much more from me. Things will be different by the time your stay at the South Pole is over. I'll make sure of it. I do want to be with you, Jane. I want that very much."
"Me, too. I'm not blaming you for us being apart. It's not your fault. If either of us is to blame, frankly it's me. You asked me to come to Asgard with you and I said no. It wasn't because I didn't want to. I did. I really, really did. But I have this…this problem, maybe…one of my less…positive traits, that I tend to get wrapped up in my work, at the expense of the people in my life. It's not that I don't value people and relationships, I do," Jane said, continuing to speak over Thor as he tried to interrupt. "But sometimes I just…forget. I realized while I was the Pole that I'd let myself fall out of touch with nearly all of my extended family, my aunts and uncles and cousins. Being at the Pole doesn't make it any easier, but it happened before that. I'm trying to do better."
"I'm not upset about that," Thor said, getting the words out in a rush the second Jane paused long enough to let him. "I never was. I wanted you to say yes. I was disappointed when you said no. But your work is important. To your world, and to you. I understand that. You said it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, this place you were going. I never questioned that, or expected you should give it up. I hope I've never made you feel otherwise."
"You didn't."
"One of the things that attracts me to you is your passion and determination. I admire clever people. And I understand being driven to accomplish something with a focus so pure that…that sometimes other things, people you care about…that they can suffer for it. So believe me when I say that I understand everything you've said, and that I've never thought ill of you for declining that invitation. I knew we'd have another chance. And as we agreed, it all worked out, didn't it?"
"Yes. But it's not just that."
"Then what?"
"The elephant in the room. The thing we've never talked about that we're going to have to talk about," Jane continued when Thor squinted at her. "You're a king now. An actual king. That really narrows down the number of places you can live that have good job opportunities for you. To approximately one. And your job is really important. You and me…we come with some unique challenges. You're over a thousand years old, and I'm…practically a kid here. A kid without another four or five thousand years left."
Thor had started to laugh at Jane's reference to his job opportunities, but quickly sobered again when she continued. Nothing Jane said was meant to be funny, despite her wording of it. "I don't think of you as child, Jane. Not in the slightest. I think…we mature as much as life demands it of us. Life didn't demand very much of me for a long time." He paused, then reached hesitantly for her hand and held it lightly in his. "As for the difference in our life spans, I confess it's something I haven't dwelled on. But I'm not going to turn away because of challenges. I'm not afraid of a challenge."
"I'm not afraid of challenges, either." I'm afraid of getting my heart broken. The thought came out of nowhere but as clearly as though spoken aloud, though she held back from saying it. "I just don't want to ignore them, and then find ourselves caught by surprise and driven apart by things we never dealt with. If we want to grow this into something more…"
"I want that very much," Thor said when Jane seemed to be waiting for his affirmation.
"So do I. I want more of you than a few hours here and there. I want to show you more of my world, and I want you to show me more of yours. I want you to show me more of you."
"I want that very much, too." It was tempting, at least in his imagination, to toss the throne to whoever happened to be currently standing closest to it and embark on an adventure across the realms with Jane at his side. "We can overcome these challenges, Jane. Together."
"We can't do that if we don't talk about them. We can't know if we're willing to make the necessary sacrifices if we don't even really know what they are. If all we have are these…" – she pulled her hand away from Thor to slide it through the air between them – "these vague ideas of them." She dropped her elbow to her knee and her head fell to her hand.
Thor wrapped a hand around Jane's forearm, heart seizing. He understood the gravity of the issues Jane was raising, but he hadn't until now realized how deeply they bothered Jane. She hadn't brought any of this up before, but he could well imagine that everything she'd been exposed to here in Asgard had made her feel the differences between them more keenly. It had been easier on Midgard. There he was just a man, relieved of name and status and responsibility, even much of what made him Aesir. It was part of what made him fall for Jane, after all. That she saw something in him, something worthy in him, even without all that, without knowing he'd ever had those things.
He knew they couldn't be ignored forever, these "challenges." But he was less eager to address them than Jane was. After all the terrible events of the last couple of years, especially after the nightmare of the war, he longed to cast aside all concerns and simply enjoy being with Jane. If it was what she needed, though, he would give it to her. He would give her whatever she needed to be happy, and to not look like this.
"Jane? It sounds like you're giving up. Please don't. We'll figure things out."
"It's not that at all," Jane said, straightening as soon as Thor said he thought she was giving up. "It's just…here I am, saying we need to talk about all this, we need to make time for that, and I'm the biggest hypocrite ever, because I have to leave tonight and I can't be coming and going from the South Pole all winter – I guess technically I could, but it wouldn't seem right, nobody else can come and go whenever they feel like it. And then I think, maybe I'm being selfish, and I—"
"Jane, no. You're overthinking things."
"I've been underthinking things all this time. Like it is a fairy tale and everything will be 'happily ever after' without any effort. We could just have fun together, not think about the future at all, and that was fine when you were just that guy with the incredible abs who fell out of an Einstein-Rosen Bridge, but we're past that now, I think, and…. I'm sorry. I'm rambling," Jane said, closing her eyes and shaking her head at herself. Rambling and blurting out commentary on his abs. Brilliant, Jane.
"You're not, it's all right," Thor said, smiling faintly. "I meant that you're overthinking the current situation. We're both too tired to discuss any of this so deeply tonight. Of course you must return, and of course you cannot come and go when your fellows cannot depart. But your time there is already…about halfway through? Is that right?"
Jane nodded. "About that. Around four and a half months left."
"You will remain at the South Pole for those four and a half months, and you will work hard and learn much, and when your time there is done, we'll take all the time we need. All the time we want. Four and a half months isn't so long to wait, is it? There's nothing selfish in it. We already knew we'd be separated for this length of time. Nothing has changed."
Jane nodded again. Everything Thor said made perfect sense. She had known and accepted back in early February, when he suddenly – finally! – appeared back in her life, that they wouldn't be seeing each other for another nine months or so. Figuring out what they wanted hadn't seemed so urgent back then. And Thor was right, nothing had changed.
Just as important, Jane trusted Thor when he said he didn't think she was being selfish for prioritizing her work when a rare opportunity appeared. Thor himself was, at least in his sudden arrival outside Puente Antiguo, the physical embodiment of everything she'd worked for since she first began advancing her theory of traversable wormholes. He understood, in a way Don – most people, really – never did.
"Okay…four and a half months, then. It might be a little more, depends on the weather. And then you-and-me time."
"You-and-me time," Thor echoed, leaning in to nuzzle against Jane's cheek and pressing a kiss to her jaw. "I want you to tell me all about your work."
"Oh! I almost forgot," Jane said, drawing away just before his lips reached hers. "I need something from you."
"Name it," Thor said, floating on a wave of relief that everything seemed fine again, that Jane no longer seemed upset.
"I want to be on your access list, so I can go up to your door if I want to."
"I'll take care of it immediately," Thor said after an initial flash of surprise. "Did you try and were turned away?"
"No. I wanted to, but you weren't there anyway. That's when Jolgeir told me about the list."
Thor took Jane's hand and stood, bringing her with him. "While you change and pack, I'll see that it's done."
While Thor stepped outside, Jane went back into the bedroom. There wasn't much to gather up; she hadn't brought much. A few toiletries to grab from the bathroom – she couldn't help pausing to gaze lovingly at the tub – a couple of things on the dresser, things folded and stacked that she hadn't folded and stacked. Everything else was either already in the bag or was something she was putting on. Her own clothes – the turquoise blouse and the scarf, the black suede skirt and the tights, all freshly laundered – were familiar and comfortable, like slipping into old pajamas at the end of the day.
Her Asgardian dress she laid gently across the bed – made, of course, and with way more precision than she herself had done it this morning. She brushed the back of her fingers over the fine shimmery silk of the bodice, then looked up at the three most elaborate gowns hanging on the mannequins, then went over to the wardrobe and opened it up to take a final look through its contents.
It was a lot like a fairy tale. She didn't have evil step-sisters, but she had been near the last of her savings when Thor showed up. Free labor from a social science college intern and occasional extra help from a different-field-of-physics physicist and bargain basement rent for an abandoned car dealership building that no one else wanted had kept her going, but Jane – Erik, really, once he insisted she let him go over her accounts – had figured she had only six to eight months before everything was gone and she could no longer pay her bills. She'd been in hard-core avoidance mode, refusing to plan for being literally broke with no source of income, refusing to listen to Erik's assurances that she could go live with him, that he could help her find a job at his university, because it wouldn't be a job that was in her field, and it wouldn't allow her to continue her research. She could've lived and worked fully from the Pinzgauer, she could've made a lot of the repairs on it herself with some help from YouTube, but she needed food and a good internet connection, she had no health insurance, and eventually parts would need to be not just repaired but replaced, not just on the Pinzgauer but for the many devices she had built for her research.
Eventually, her face would've slammed into the ground, and Jane wasn't sure if the person who got back up – or was dragged back up – and was forced to change her path to survive would still be her.
She would never have to find out, because Thor had shown up and altered the course of her life, and now she was on Asgard staring at the flowing gowns she'd spent most of the last couple of days in. She wondered if she could get used to dressing like that every day, and if so, if that would still be her.
"You're overthinking things," Jane heard Thor telling her. Overthinking the wrong things, she added for herself. Asgardian fashion would never be her biggest hurdle, and no one had complained when she'd gone out with Thor in pants. Besides, she didn't dislike Asgardian fashion. If she had any hopes of some future opportunity to wear it on Earth she'd ask if she could take it with her. She fingered the oversized burgundy shawl she loved so much, the one she'd worn that day out hiking with Thor. Comfortable, warm, beautiful. She could imagine snuggling into it back at the Pole, an unobtrusive reminder of her time in Asgard, and of Thor.
"I'd almost grown used to seeing you in our clothing," Thor said when Jane emerged in the same clothes she'd first arrived in, her little black bag hanging on her back.
"I'd almost grown used to wearing it. Okay, that's maybe not quite true. Is it okay if I take this with me?" she asked, holding out the shawl.
"Of course. You can take all of the clothing."
"The rest of it wouldn't fit into my bags, and it would mostly be kind of drafty for the South Pole. Too dressy, too. Not even Loki overdressed that much for the Pole. This shawl is perfect, though."
"Loki overdressed?"
"You saw how we dress there. This is already dressier than what I normally wear at the Pole."
"I confess I took little note of the attire. But I'm unsurprised. You're there to work, and under difficult conditions, so you must dress accordingly. I'm sure Loki didn't care for that. He's long taken great care with his clothing, and he prefers to attire himself in finery."
"And you?"
Thor had to pause to consider it; he rarely gave any thought at all to his clothing. "I like things that are comfortable and fit well. And I don't want to waste time choosing which pants to put on in the morning, or which tunic best accompanies them. Loki and I used to fight about that, when we were getting dressed at the same time for some reason or other. I could sprout gray hairs before he could choose his garments. In many ways, we've always been opposites." Thor took a deliberate breath and gave Jane a smile, determined not to stray too far into memories and musings. "Do you have everything?"
Jane nodded. "I didn't bring much," she said as she worked the oversized shawl into her backpack. It had been stuffed full when she got here, but there was plenty of room now that Loki's hat and South Pole logo clothes weren't in it.
"Then it's time for a test."
/
A few quick responses to guest reviewers: "Bookworm 1," welcome, congrats on completing the marathon, take a deep breath, hydrate, you are all caught up! :-) I got quite the kick out of your grumbling about the lack of a proper goodbye for Jane and Loki, I was thinking, "You wanted *more*?" And then I thought, "Hmmm, maybe this is for the chapter *before* the goodbye, and I checked, and sure enough. And I thought, "Keep reading." :-) Glad you're enjoying the story! (And not that there's anything wrong with wanting more! A good story, hopefully, keeps you wanting more. "FizzFazz," welcome also, sorry for the theft. :-) Ha, I should reuse that for something I commercially publish someday (seeded time travel) and just ask all of you to keep it a secret. And thank you so much for the compliments. "Anne," thanks for sharing your reaction. I got pretty emotional writing it, and it was about as much of a surprise to me as it was to Loki - neither of us was expecting it.
Preview for Ch. 215: Loki would love nothing more than to immediately bop on over to where Heimdall is waiting with the Tesseract and say "Laters!" (I got that from the movie "Bend it Like Beckham.") But he's leaving for a long time, and there are things to take care of, and it's just not that simple. A challenge to you: Do you remember the things he has to take care of? Part of the pre-planning that had to go into 215 was making sure *I* remembered! #Continuity
Excerpt:
(Hard to find a good one, so just consider this a sneak peak of the beginning of a section, which is what it is.)
One quick errand later, Loki was covering ground in long strides when the wooden hut-like structure with the vaulted open ceiling came into view, back exactly where it was when Odin had sent him off to Midgard with a brand, a wounded foot, and a few changes of clothing and grooming items, while Frigga gifted him a repurposed gem and a secret escape route. He supposed they would be back at work on the bifrost soon. A cordon of guards was positioned around the building, and near its entrance stood Odin and Frigga, as expected, Jolgeir and Krusa, less expected, and, disappointingly, not Jane, which meant he was going to be stuck here waiting. Heimdall, he assumed, was inside with the Tesseract.
Much had changed since he'd been brought out here months ago. Most notable, at least in what it signified, was the absence of the chief jailer. Glancing about to see if Jane was approaching as well, probably with Thor since Jolgeir wasn't with her – she wasn't – Loki had to correct himself. At least as notable, and far more shocking, was that the last time he'd departed Asgard from this little building he'd insinuated a threat against Jane, and now he was departing with her, at her suggestion. Eventually.