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Beneath
Chapter Two Hundred Sixteen – Pumpkin
"Before you return to your own realm, Dr. Foster, I must again express my gratitude."
Uncertain how to respond, Jane waited for Odin to elaborate. An expression of gratitude wasn't what she'd expected when Odin asked for a moment alone. Of course, he'd just started, so there was still plenty of time for some kind of scolding or imperial edict to follow. They came to a halt, the others now in the distance.
"My queen informed me about what really happened when she found you with a knife, alone with our boys when they were still in the cradle. That you followed Loki and dissuaded him from…from doing a tremendous wrong. Whether he could have succeeded or not is immaterial to the depth of my appreciation. For that and for your courageous efforts on his behalf when he was wounded on Midgard, I am grateful. Loki believes he's no more than a political pawn to me, that I've mistreated him all his life, that I've always preferred Thor…and I'm sure he's filled your head with that same nonsense. I've made mistakes – they're private family matters that I will not discuss, but I'm not blind to them. I love my son. He's a part of me and it matters not a whit that he does not carry my blood." Odin forced himself to stop, despite the drive to continue. It was little use trying to convince this mortal, treating her as some proxy for Loki, a proxy who conveniently didn't interrupt him as Loki would have by now.
Staying silent during Odin's silence was hard. Just today Loki had told her about Odin's gift of Lifhilda, about what a positive experience that stay on Vanaheim had been, just Loki and his father. There was a millennium of history Jane didn't know, but she did know it wasn't all bad, and her instinctive urge to help mend these relationships remained. She couldn't whisper in Odin's ear things Loki had told her in confidence, though, and Loki hadn't told her that story with a wistful air of longing for the days of old, anyway.
"If he remains in contact with you, I hope you'll continue to encourage him, and to be a voice of reason when reason otherwise eludes him. It seems he listens to you."
"I will," Jane said, though she didn't think reason was eluding Loki anymore. It would be a moot point if Loki didn't stay in touch and spent the next few decades on Alfheim, but she wasn't letting him leave the South Pole before they discussed that.
"Good. I must also remind you of the secrets you've become privy to here on Asgard, and on Midgard as well. I believe your intentions to be good, but never forget that the things you've learned about Loki, about Jotunheim, and even about that form of travel you and Loki pursued on Midgard, these secrets must be protected. They are dangerous to Loki, to Asgard, and to all the Nine Realms."
"I understand. I would never hurt Loki like that. Or…entire planets. Those secrets are safe with me."
"I expected no less. I hold you in esteem, Jane Foster, for your kindness both to Thor and to Loki, and it is because I hold you in esteem that I say this to you. Midgard's underdevelopment is not the sole reason it has remained largely outside the community of the Nine. Our relations with the other realms have developed, and been tested, over the course of millennia of close contact. Your rulers, and with them their plans and goals, change regularly, even among those who sit on their thrones for life. Ours have centuries to learn, millennia to become seasoned, and to know their counterparts. So, too, in our other relations. My queen and I, before she was my queen, spent more than your life span simply getting acquainted with one another."
Jane sucked in a quick breath, as the point of Odin's political lecture burst into instant clarity. "Wow. You must have known each other really well by then."
"We did. One must be certain. A marriage is meant to last for thousands of years."
Jane's eyes flared. "That's really…" – jumping ahead of things – "…nice."
"Dr. Foster…your life is brief, compared to ours. What you have accomplished in your work so far, aided by only a rudimentary understanding of the bifrost, is nothing short of remarkable. It would be unfortunate if too much of your more limited time was diverted toward less fruitful pursuits."
"Um…thank you. For being so concerned about me," Jane tacked on in a tone of half-hearted insincerity. She was too shocked by the turn this little chat had taken either to express her reaction more overtly, or to decide that it would wiser to keep it to herself entirely.
"While I do wish you success in all your endeavors, I will admit my concern is primarily for my son," Odin said with a thin smile. The sarcasm in the mortal's words was light yet clear.
Instantly recalling the running joke between her and Thor that had just come up again, back in the palace, Jane gave a short dry laugh. So Odin and Thor both considered her dangerous. And Odin apparently thought she was more of a risk to Thor than him dumping Thor on Earth without regard for nearby traffic. The story was coming out before she'd had a chance to consider whether it should. "If anybody's a danger to Thor, I don't think it's me. When you sent Thor to Earth through the bifrost, you dropped him right in the path of my vehicle. We hit him and we had to take him to the hospital. The local healing room. He could have been killed."
"He would not have been killed. And I'm not entirely certain that bolsters your argument, Dr. Foster," Odin said with a light chuckle.
Jane shivered at how eerily like Loki Odin had just sounded.
"I know it must seem otherwise, but I don't say these things to be unkind. Your influence on Thor has been a positive one, and for that I am pleased. I do not begrudge him his Midgardian friends, on the contrary, I'm glad of them. They're a benefit to him, and through him, to Asgard. To count yourself among their number would be both wise and welcome. I confess that when Thor first returned from Midgard and praised you to us, we attached little weight to it. He has often been too quick to praise, too easily impressed, and quick to shift his attentions afterward. Heimdall's vision is less easily swayed, however, and he, too, was impressed during your meeting earlier today. Perhaps a visit from one of our cosmologists could be arranged at some point, to help further your studies and your understanding of all that lies beyond your realm. Might that be of interest?"
"Um…yeah. Yes. Maybe. I mean—"
"I would be pleased were you to continue to be counted as a friend to Loki, too. To that effect, as long as Loki welcomes you, I grant you permission to call on Heimdall to facilitate you visiting him on Alfheim. Long has he kept his friends secret from me, probably because the last one he didn't keep secret I had to banish from Asgard. That would be Brokk – perhaps you know the name?"
Head spinning, Jane nodded.
"I know he was trying to do the same with you at first. It must be instinct for him by now, but I suspect he was also trying to shield you from culpability in what you both were involved in there. Unnecessary, but admirable of him, particularly given his prior attitude toward mortals."
"There's a lot to admire. In both of your sons," she said, planting herself on the only solid ground she could find.
Odin grunted; an actual response would be lengthy, complex, and emotional, and was not for this woman's – or anyone's – ears. "I have been candid with you, Dr. Foster, because I have seen that you do not cringe from it. I hope that my directness has not caused offense, for I have not intended any. And despite what you may think of me…I mean it when I say I hold you in esteem, and am pleased to have had the opportunity to meet you."
"Thanks." That was him being direct? Jane still felt like she was three steps behind, at a minimum, like double meaning didn't come close to the layers Odin's words held, and like at least three-fourths of his meaning hadn't made it past a tickling on the edge of her awareness. One part was clear, though: She was welcome as one of Thor's many friends, but not as his girlfriend. "And thank you for the advice. But just to be clear…I can make my own decisions. So can Thor. Loki, too. I don't mean any offense by my directness, either," she finished, though the last wasn't fully honest.
"None taken, and of course you can. I simply ask you not to discount my words because they aren't the ones you may prefer to hear. Now, shall we rejoin the others? You must be anxious to return home."
Jane started back alongside Odin, able to muster only a tight, grim smile in reply.
/
/
"Thor," Loki said, palm out, as soon as Thor opened his mouth, "let me save you some time. If what you wish to say is something I can already guess, or something you've already said at least…let's go with three times, then don't. Examples that come immediately to mind are, 'Don't leave,' and any number of variations on that, as well as 'But we're brothers,' and, similarly, all of the variations on that. Do take note, 'Asgard is your home' is covered by 'Don't leave.' With that in mind, now, please, proceed," he said, sweeping his hand to the side in accompanying invitation.
Loki's frustration and eagerness to depart were genuine, but keeping a straight face was hard when Thor's face reflected every thought that went through his head and his mouth opened, closed, opened, closed, opened, closed, with each new idea and prompt rejection of it.
"Am I allowed to say you drive me to madness?" Thor said, putting little effort into tamping down his irritation.
"Madness, or the desire to rain down blows?" Loki said in barely restrained delight. "Either way, no. That's covered by 'things you've already said at least three times.'"
"I haven't said that before!"
"You've said that hundreds of times. Thousands. Possibly millions."
"In our entire lives?" Thor asked, incredulous and increasingly angry. "I thought you meant in the last week."
"Did you hear me specify a time limit?"
"No, but—. This is ridiculous. This isn't a game and I don't have to follow some idiotic rules you made up for what I am and am not allowed to say. You are my brother and I don't want you to leave. There," he said with sharp nod.
"Not so soft after all then, hm? Fine. Good, in fact. Valhalla save us from such a toothless king. But we did make an agreement about one of those things, and I still expect you to honor it."
Thor gave a huff, but then his eyes fell on the curve of Loki's cape arching up and over his shoulders to cascade down his back. "Yet you wear yellow for one you would also say was not your brother?" Loki's haughty confidence vanished and left something nakedly painful behind, and Thor knew in the same second that he'd made a mistake. "Brother, I—. Loki, I'm sorry. I was…trying to make a point, and I did so poorly. I only meant…he was our brother. Yours and mine both."
Loki was conscious that this time it was him having trouble getting out a response he would find acceptable. "He wasn't though, was he?" he finally asked, then pressed his lips together in a tight thin smile.
"He was," Thor said, as insistently as he knew how. "That your blood is different does not make it less so. You loved him as a brother. You fought with him as a brother. As only brothers fight."
"As only brothers fight." A response had nearly formed, almost but not quite, but with those words it fled Loki's mind, forgotten. He felt the truth of it thrumming in his veins and beating with his heart, no matter that the blood itself was false. Loki had fought with many, in many ways, in many places, across many years. But he'd never fought with anyone the way he had with Thor…and with Baldur. Emotion was beginning to well up inside him again; he wasn't even sure what it was, or how it might manifest if he let it continue. He was sure he couldn't handle any more of it today. He swallowed and got hold of himself. "Perhaps," he allowed after a long silence, lips curling into an expression to match the aloofness of his tone.
"It's true. And since we aren't allowed to discuss such things, no more can be said on it. The last word is mine."
"Is that your approach to winning arguments these days?"
"Whatever works. You know…we haven't reminisced about him in a long time. It might be nice if we did. Even speaking his name is nice. Strange…but nice."
"Perhaps another time," Loki said, glancing about. Odin was still with Jane; all Loki could tell at this distance was that Odin was the one doing the talking at the moment. Odin hadn't shown any particular interest in Jane before, other than as a source of information on his South Pole activities, so whatever was going on over there couldn't possibly be good. Even Thor had been concerned.
Thor followed Loki's gaze and also took note of the conversation still ongoing. The reminder spurred him on, for he could not forget that some contentious words had been exchanged between Jane and his father on Midgard, and to a lesser extent tonight. Jane was strong, but Odin was a king. "Do you remember this?" he said, capturing Loki's attention again as he withdrew from his pocket a small bundle in red cloth, settling it on his palm. With his free hand he opened up the cloth. "It's been sitting in my chambers ever since we came back from Svartalfheim."
Loki's initial fear that Thor had dragged out some old object connected to Baldur lasted only a second, for he quickly recognized the singed swatch of cloth torn from one of Thor's capes. Resting atop Thor's palm lay the oval-shaped golden talisman once controlled by Brokk.
"Go on, take a look."
With a careful look up to make sure there was no trick – and no, of course there wasn't, this was Thor – Loki picked up the talisman, its broken golden chain dangling from it. He'd handled it before, on Svartalfheim, but his focus on it then had been limited to making it visible, while the presence of Brokk's body and having to deal with Thor at the same time had divided his attention. It was covered in etchings fine enough they could barely be seen and the brush of his thumb over them could scarcely detect the tiny shallow grooves. Unlike Gungnir or even Mjolnir, the talisman did not exude a form of energy that anyone sufficiently sensitive to magic could feel. It had to be activated first, and the ability to activate it was the first step in knowing how to put it to use.
"These are rare," Loki said, flipping it over to skim his thumb over the back. "Rarer still to see one off of Svartalfheim."
"Rarer still to see one off of Svartalfheim and not in the possession of a Dark Elf."
"I think the word you're looking for is 'this has never before happened in the history of the cosmos.'" Loki paused, thought back to how Thor had ripped it from Brokk's neck. How Thor had subsequently buried Brokk in his secret underground hideout with a strategically-timed strike of Mjolnir against the ceiling. "They have no idea you have it."
Thor shook his head. "They must think it lost."
Loki held it out to Thor. "You should get this to Maeva and let her study it. They may eventually find his body, and if so, it won't take them long to make a reasonable guess as to where the missing talisman is. You know they keep strict accountability of those things. They'll demand it back."
Thor shrugged. "They can demand all they like. I can truthfully say Asgard doesn't have it."
"What do—." Loki looked down at his outstretched hand. Thor had made no move to take the talisman. "You aren't serious."
"You can study it just as well as she can. Or did Brokk show you how to use it already?"
"No," Loki said. "He only had it when he was issued one, for a specific purpose. I'd only seen him with one twice before." And I was much quicker to teach him my secrets than he was to teach me his. Loki couldn't even say he hadn't noticed that – he had. He just hadn't cared.
"Once you've figured it out, then…you can use it. You won't have to depend on Heimdall."
Loki glanced instinctively toward the closed door of the structure standing in for the observatory, behind which stood Heimdall with his ever-watchful gaze, Tesseract close at hand. "You mean I could hop over to join in Vanaheim's harvest festivities for a few days, then right back to Alfheim, bypassing Asgard entirely." He wasn't sure what he thought of that. The idea of not needing Heimdall certainly appealed, but at the same time, the occasional brief encounter with the Gatekeeper would be a useful means of unobtrusively obtaining reliable current information about Asgard. And the thought of literally never setting foot on Asgard for the foreseeable future, perhaps forever, was sobering. Thor was nodding, and that, too, was sobering, and confusing.
"You could also use it to hop over to Asgard for a visit. Perhaps on a regular basis."
Loki lifted his chin, breathing in deeply. "Ah."
"I don't want to lose another brother. Or rather, since you claim you aren't my brother and I'm not allowed to argue that point…another son of my mother?"
Loki laughed. He couldn't help it. He didn't feel physically tired, but his mind was exhausted, and the fight had gone out of him. He was leaving, so it didn't matter – he didn't need to fight. "Perhaps I'll simply study it. Svartalfheim may have some means of recognizing that it's been used. Better to save it for something more urgent than bringing my clothing back to Asgard to be laundered."
"But the servants here do such good work with the laundry," Thor said, relaxing with Loki's laughter. Jane's instincts were correct, this was no final farewell; he was sure of it now. "Far better than any you might employ on Alfheim."
"You make a fair point, but I shall simply have to suffer. At least they're unlikely to return my clothing to me all shriveled up, like those cursed machines on Midgard."
"May I visit?" The question was abrupt, spurred on by sudden hope, and Thor tensed watching Loki visibly stiffen. He had pushed too far. He knew he had. But how could he help it? What choice did he have? He could not simply stand to the side and watch Loki leave, not knowing how long it might be before they met again.
Loki held out his hand, the gold talisman still resting there. "Is this a bribe?"
"No, of course not," Thor said, nearly stumbling over the words in his haste to get them out. He backed up a step and held up his palm toward Loki, then reached for Loki's hand and closed Loki's fingers over the talisman. "It's a gift. It has no strings."
"Look at the two of you. Attached with invisible strings." Loki heard the words in his mother's chiding but laughing voice. He'd heard them many times, in many forms, in the days when it must have seemed true. "Then the answer is no. It isn't a permanent no," Loki said rushing to continue, for he found no pleasure in Thor's failed attempt at a display of stoicism. "But for the time being…no. Besides, you must remember you're king now. You can't simply show up another realm. You must first gain the quiet approval of its leader."
Thor nodded, uncertain what to make of Loki's response, and distracted by the truth of what Loki had added to it, which had not previously occurred to him. Now that the treaty was in place, regular interrealm relations were at least nominally in place again, too, and just like their father, Thor would now need to coordinate his plans before traveling to another realm. It struck him as a heavy weight. All his life he had gone wherever he pleased, and now that he had gained the most powerful throne in the Nine Realms…he had to ask permission before leaving Asgard. Midgard, at least, was a shining exception, having never been part of those interrealm relations before and lacking any single leader to share his intentions with.
Thor's troubled expression and lack of arguing told Loki that Thor indeed hadn't remembered that bit of protocol. Thor, of course, had never been much for protocol. Someone would have warned him about it before he attempted to travel, be it Bragi, Odin, any of his advisors or protocol clerks. But the gap reminded Loki that there were other things he knew that Thor didn't, things he'd kept to himself that no one else would be able to inform Thor of. Things Thor might find helpful. Loki cleared his throat and with a slide of his wrist sent the talisman into storage.
"When I arrive on Alfheim I must go to the palace. Nadrith wants me to put in an appearance there, after permitting me a few hours' sleep first, I hope. It was his condition for permitting me to reside on Alfheim. He didn't directly say so, but it's clear he intends to use my presence as a sign to his people that he's repaired his relationship with Asgard. That he's not caused Alfheim to lose its standing among the Nine."
"And…if I wish to go to Alfheim, he'll likely seek to use me the same way?"
"Or in some similar way," Loki said with a nod.
"I'll keep it under advisement, and inform Bragi as well."
"There's also…"
Thor waited. Whatever it was, he knew Loki would say it, whatever it was Loki was hesitating over, if he simply held his tongue and let him come to it.
"Something Farbauti said about…about her sons. Helblindi expected to succeed Laufey by virtue of being the oldest, but he lacked…" – Loki had to pause to avoid stumbling over words that struck him now, coming from his own mouth, in a way they had not coming from Farbauti's – "his father's favor, and that in turn made him lack confidence, in Farbauti's estimation. That has prevented him from swaying enough of the Frost Giants to his side. Laufey favored Byleister, so much so that Byleister expected Laufey to name him heir instead. Perhaps Laufey had already done so, it wasn't entirely clear. My own interpretation, I suppose. Regardless, she said Byleister more than makes up for Helblindi's lack of confidence but lacks maturity instead. She boiled the matter down thus: Neither is capable of ruling Jotunheim, because Helblindi isn't capable of holding the realm together and Byleister isn't capable of holding himself together. Her solution allows them to put war aside for a while longer.
"You need to know this. You need to understand that to the extent you believed Helblindi has the potential to be a peace-loving friend to Asgard, then, it was only by comparison with Byleister. Byleister blames Asgard and in particular me for Laufey's death, and in turn, for what he believes would have been his unobstructed path to the throne. Helblindi, however, while still entertaining fantasies of dismemberment – he is a Frost Giant after all – may recognize somewhere in his speck of a brain that if not for his father's oh-so-unfortunate demise, he probably would have been passed over for the throne with no chance to wage a vicious civil war in hopes of grasping it."
Thor was still staring wide-eyed at Loki, trying to follow everything he'd heard and badly lagging behind, when Loki surprised him even further by continuing.
"You already know about Dirnolek…"
"Mother told me," Thor said in a quiet daze.
"This is probably irrelevant, but do you remember Taulist? One of Helblindi's?"
"Of course," Thor said. Flashes of memory followed – Taulist spitting on him while he stood there half encased in ice, Taulist brawling in the ice chamber – but none of them formed coherently enough to draw forth words.
"He reports back to Farbauti about Helblindi. I called him a spy; she said she prefers to call him a 'contact.' She has these 'contacts' among Byleister's contingent, too. She said they both know about it, but that she doesn't tell one what she learns about the other. It should go without saying, but you must never trust her. Oh, and Taulist…he's Helblindi's and Byleister's cousin. Probably also irrelevant."
Thor nodded, and began to grasp how much Loki wasn't saying, in addition to what he was. How much he was avoiding saying. Taulist was Loki's cousin, too. Loki's cousin spying on Loki's brother and reporting to Loki's mother.
"And this is probably even more irrelevant, but if you must see her again – and I strongly advise you not to – pay attention to her hair. She was shearing it to her scalp, some parody of mourning. As soon as her eyes shone of lust for power along with blood, she said she was going to let it start growing out again. If you should suddenly see it braided some distant day, it likely means she's remarried. Or, I supposed, courting," he added with a sour expression.
"All right," Thor said to more flashes – Farbauti at the treaty signing with all but her face covered by a full white cloak, Farbauti on Asgard a millennium ago, in a hooded cloak left more open, but if he'd noticed anything about her hair he no longer remembered it.
"What?" Loki said irritably. Thor kept staring at him, and Loki was beginning to feel uncharacteristically self-conscious. "I said it was probably irrelevant."
"You said she was tall."
Loki stared back for a moment. He remembered it. "What was she like?" Thor asked like an overeager youth, when Loki was barely keeping his mind intact. Four days ago, technically five now, that felt more like five years for all that had happened since. "That, too."
"Anything else?"
He remembered the child…Tahi, he thought the name was, short for Tahinda, something like that. The mother who knew the child had been frightened though she'd been out of sight. How it had made him wonder about things barely remembered from his own young childhood. "That's all."
"It's a lot. And it helps. I'll have to think it all over some more, but…it sounds like if Asgard extends support to Helblindi…if we treat him as the heir by virtue of his age, we may indeed make a friend of Jotunheim, and bolster his chances to gain the throne at the same time. We'd have to be careful about it…quiet. Not turn his people against him because of Asgard's support."
It was Loki's turn to stare. "I think you've missed the point of that entirely."
"I think you have." Loki's expression soured in an instant and Thor hastened to continue. "But let's not squabble, not now. Thank you. I mean it, Loki. It's invaluable information. Even the hair." Thor cracked a smile and hoped his brother would follow, but of course Loki's glowering frown remained.
"Thor."
"Yes?"
"In all seriousness, I am warning you. If you do want me to ever return to Asgard of my own free will…"
"Yes?"
"Inviting Frost Giants over to Asgard for a few tankards of mead from time to time will ensure it never happens."
"Frost Giants and Aesir and mead…not an ideal combination, I agree. Coffee, perhaps?"
"Mm. Yes. Invite the Frost Giants over for coffee, served at just short of boiling. Invite me as well, I beg you. It might start another war and I wouldn't want to miss that."
Neither Loki's tone nor his expression made the words seem to be in jest, but Thor responded with laughter regardless. He hadn't imagined it, that Loki was thawing toward him. Hope surged in him that his brother might thaw further, that the two of them might fully reconcile someday, and with a brotherhood tested and made stronger for it. The effort he'd put into it, into himself and into Loki, was worth it. Every minute of lost sleep, every attempt to think before speaking, every bit of self-doubt and self-examination, all of it.
"Father and Jane have started back," Thor said. "Jane looks fine."
"Hmph. Your father looks fine."
Thor scowled lightly but withheld comment. "I won't keep you further." His mood just as quickly recovered though, remembering one of his moments of farewell with Jane. "Your carriage will turn into a pumpkin."
Loki tried to parse what Thor had said, but no interpretation came to mind. He waited with raised brow, ready to ignore the phrase if Thor didn't explain of his own accord.
"You haven't heard that one, then," Thor said with a triumphant grin. "Jane has taught me a type of Midgardian kenning, about a pumpkin and a cinderella. From a children's fairy tale."
"Is that so," Loki said flatly.
"It is. I'm looking forward to hearing the full story. It's a tale of magical transformations." Thor looked past Loki to Jane, trying to glean from her face what was said between her and Odin.
"Intriguing," Loki said, an idea beginning to form. "A carriage turning into a pumpkin. For running late? Being delayed? A magical transformation with a time limit, I presume?"
Thor shrugged. Jane hadn't actually told him any of the story, only tempting him with the assurance that someday soon she would tell him this tale and many others. He'd dwelled more on that than on the kennings themselves.
"I never heard that one, but I've picked up a few others. There's one, let me think…."
Thor nodded eagerly, attention now fully on Loki again. This was even better than trading a magical object from Svartalfheim and information from Jotunheim; he and Loki were now trading Midgardian kennings like the brothers and old friends they were.
"It means to wait for someone when you know you'll be apart for a time. To express your eagerness to see the other person again. Said of a man to a woman. It originates from one of their movies I happened to see, Back to the Future. But I can't…ah! I remember now. To be a 'peeping Tom,' that's it."
"Because he's peeping at the future, when they're together again?"
"Mmm, yes, I believe that's it." Centuries of practice ensured he betrayed not a hint of his inner delight, effecting instead an attitude of mild boredom.
"I shall remember it, Loki, thank you."
"It's only a couple of words. Less important even than hair."
"Much more important. I would use it with you if you hadn't said it must be a man to a woman."
"Yes, please don't. Context is key. I wouldn't want you to embarrass yourself."
"I shall not. I'll take care to use it the right context."
"See that you do." Loki turned as the approaching footsteps drew near. Now would be the perfect time to try it out. Frigga and Jolgeir were also returning, too, though, and he would rather this not happen in front of his mother. As Thor made his way to Jane with an obnoxious grin and wrapped an arm around her shoulders without hesitation, Loki reconsidered. Better in front of his mother than not at all.
"Loki, I'd like a word with you as well," Odin said.
The transition took a moment. Loki hadn't been expecting that, and had been content ignoring Odin's presence. "You're obviously free to use words."
"Alone."
"You're just as obviously free to leave and be alone."
Odin drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, focused on remaining calm. He'd known Loki might not be willing to speak with him privately. And he knew he had no means – no reasonable means – of compelling him. Meanwhile, drawing alongside him were Frigga and Jolgeir.
"Lady Jane," Jolgeir said a moment later, filling the awkward silence, "I'll leave you to the rest of your farewells now. I was simply loathe to let you leave without bidding you one of my own." He stepped forward, and Jane left Thor's side to stand before him. "My lady, it has been a true privilege to make your acquaintance and to accompany you on Asgard. I wish you every success in your continued work at the South Pole, and I hope to greet you again someday. I would grace your hand with a kiss, if I may."
Jane smiled and held up her hand the way she knew Jolgeir would have taken it if he could have. He gave her knuckles a quick kiss. "Thank you. You could be a cultural ambassador, Jolgeir. I'm sure we'll meet again." They said their goodbyes, and Jolgeir bade a good night to each of the others, including a final word to Loki, who nodded back at him. Respectfully, Jane thought. She wondered what the two of them had been talking about when she and Thor arrived.
Odin watched Jolgeir's steps, waiting until he was far enough away. No one else spoke in the meantime; everyone knew he wasn't finished. And forge ahead he would. He didn't mind speaking to Loki in Frigga's and Thor's presence, but he would have preferred not to do so in front of the mortal, who, despite what Frigga felt, was not part of this family. Jolgeir was closer to that mark than Jane Foster was.
"Loki. You've conducted yourself admirably here. Your role in securing the peace cannot be overestimated. Your pronouncement over Geirmund demonstrated wisdom. Your judgement of the Warriors Three and Lady Sif was measured and surprisingly merciful. Yes, Heimdall told me about it." Whether the four should have been placed under judgement at all was another question, but having not yet grappled with it, he had no intention of commenting on it at the moment. What they had done, with Heimdall's assistance, took place while he lay in the Sleep, and he had woken to chaos and a family disintegrating, a son falling to his death right in front of him. He had given no thought at all to the actions of Thor's friends.
"I'm pleased you approve, All-Father. I did consider banishing them to Midgard, but I feared Lady Jane might protest."
Jane's hands fidgeted at her sides, squirming under the weight of Odin's eye falling on her, and for entirely longer than seemed necessary, since it was clear to her and surely to everyone else that Loki was making a sarcastic joke. Still it felt like Odin was blaming her for something, though she couldn't imagine what. And maybe he wasn't, maybe he was just looking in her direction and not thinking anything at all about her. His expression was impossible to read.
"Your presence here has benefited Asgard. Is there anything I could say or do to convince you to remain?"
Loki let his gaze drift out beyond the bifrost as though in deep contemplation, before snapping his focus back to Odin. "'Here's the throne'?" Frigga, Loki thought, looked disappointed. Or perhaps she was simply tired. He forged ahead anyway. "I suppose that would make moving elsewhere rather difficult."
"The throne is occupied. Is there anything else?"
"True. Double-occupied, in fact. And no, nothing else comes to mind. After all, who's to say when you next decide you might need to ship me off to Jotunheim in chains in order to solve some problem? Don't worry, it's a rhetorical question, I don't require an answer. But think on this. Geirmund said something very interesting tonight. He said he didn't believe my intent was to kill Baldur. Did you notice? Imagine that. How is it that Geirmund, who never even met me before last night, knew that I would not kill Baldur…and those who called themselves my family did not?" Loki waited, just a beat, long enough to see the shock turn to guilt on Frigga's face and the hardening of Odin's. "No, I don't think there's anything you can say or do. I think it's best for me to go."
"I know you don't want an answer, Loki, but I'm going to give you one anyway," Odin said, for he could not let this go without response, as though in tacit acceptance. "You are in no danger of being sent to Jotunheim against your will. I know that you know this. As for Geirmund…we were wrong. Gravely wrong. Each of us knows that. But what a pernicious comparison. What that man said he knew about your intentions was before Baldur's death, when any of us would have said the same, and afterward, he had the benefit of the knowledge of his own involvement."
Loki didn't react. There was nothing to react to. Odin's words, past the empty assurance that he was safe from being used as a bargaining chip with the Frost Giants, weren't sinking in. More denials, more you're not thinking about things the right way. Loki was satisfied he'd made his point; he'd said enough.
"I regret that I failed to see the field. But there is one here, too. I only wish that you could see this one. Regardless," Odin continued in the face of Loki's silence, "as much as I would rather you stay, you are not held in chains on Asgard, either. In your freedom, it is my hope that you'll find what you're looking for. That you'll find yourself again. And that somewhere along the way, in time, your journey will lead you back home."
"Yes," Frigga quickly put in. "Let us not part with ugliness. Despite the wrongs, despite the pain, the love we each feel for you is true, Loki, and you will always have a home here. May you return to it swiftly."
"I thank you for the sentiment, Mother," Loki said, accepting another kiss from her without complaint.
"And Jane," Frigga said, stepping over to take Jane's hands in hers, "although this was far from the official first visit to Asgard I wish we could have given you, it was such a pleasure to welcome you here, and to have a little time to spend with you. Know that you are welcome again, any time, and that I've not forgotten what I owe you. Stay warm, my dear. I know you chose it, but I do not envy you the clime you're returning to."
Jane stumbled through a response made awkward by the subdued confrontation between Loki and Odin, along with the lingering effect of her own confrontation with Odin. Frigga deserved better, though, so she tried to put as much warmth and sincerity into it as she could.
Frigga kissed Jane's cheek, then stepped back to Odin's side. "You three go on in," Frigga continued. "Loki, when you return to go to Alfheim, don't forget to bring Jane's other red coat, the one with the hole in the back. I'll see that it's repaired for her."
"When did I agree to do that?"
"Just now."
"Mm. All right. I won't forget."
"Farewell," Odin said. Jane, whose response did not concern him, glanced between him and Frigga with a faltering smile, no doubt there for Frigga but not for him. Loki behaved as though he hadn't heard a thing. Unsurprising, but disappointing all the same. He had hoped for more. Perhaps he should have said nothing in reply to Loki's jibes after all. What did any of his words matter if Loki was unwilling to consider them, or twisted them into the worst possible interpretation? Where he had failed, though, Frigga had succeeded, at least in relative terms, and even Thor may have done better, judging by the seemingly civil talk the two had been having while he spoke with Jane. A positive development. Still, his heart was heavy as Loki, along with Thor and Jane, entered the temporary observatory.
Inside the wood building stood Heimdall, behind a small table with a familiar dark metal box, and in the far corner, a young-looking man who Thor hurried over to while Jane greeted Heimdall. She'd been surprised to see Heimdall join Thor's friends in possible judgement before Loki, but she'd already decided that it wasn't her job to somehow punish Heimdall for his mistakes any more so that it was to punish Loki for his. Heimdall had been a friendly and generous – and patient – teacher this afternoon, and the conflict between him and Loki was not hers.
When she turned back around, the younger man was rushing out and Thor was holding a bouquet of flowers in a rainbow of bright colors.
Loki watched Thor's stupidly grinning face with a bitter taste in his mouth. In seconds, though, he was swallowing it away and pursing his lips to keep his own grin at bay and trying not to laugh. His departure from Asgard and arrival on Midgard could be measured in steps or in minutes, more and more of Asgard had already been left behind, and this…this would be good.
"When did you do this?"
"While you were changing. It's such an austere, dark place…I wanted you to have something full of color, full of life, to take back with you. Something as beautiful as you."
Loki picked a particular knot in a particular plank of wood on the wall to stare at, facetiously debating the merits of vomiting versus bursting into snide laughter, and what might happen if he attempted to do both at the same time.
"Thank you," Jane said, taking the bouquet. "They're so beautiful." She ran a finger over a turquoise petal and behind her finger trailed a path of flaming red. "What's this one?" she asked, immediately testing more petals, though only the ones of that same turquoise flower turned bright red.
"The florists have their own name for it, but the rest of us call it Firetongue."
"I get the fire, but…I guess the petals are shaped a little like a tongue."
"Not for the shape. Not for the color change, either. There's not an Asgardian child that hasn't tried to lick that one once it turns red. I doubt you need the warning, but if you ever did lick it, you'd understand exactly why it's called Firetongue."
"Okay," Jane said with a laugh. "Noted. But you're right, I don't think I was in any danger of licking it. How many times did you try that?"
"Too many to count. It's a common challenge. A dare."
"I see. So how many times did you try?"
"Hm?" Loki said after a few second's delay, eyes meeting Jane's, when he realized she was addressing him.
"Loki ate a whole flower once. And then he ate a fruit stick to cool himself – it's a frozen treat. And then our break was over and we went back to our lessons and he threw up all over our tutor," Thor said, laughing by the end.
"Thank you, Thor, for that fond memory. Such a delightful story for a farewell."
"I thought so," Thor said. "Sorry," he said with a little shrug to Jane.
"I'm not that delicate. But, um…I can't take these with me. I'm sorry."
"What? Why not?"
Loki finally allowed himself to smile. How hurt Thor looked! Some poor servant, perhaps the same one who'd just left, had gone to a lot of effort to obtain those flowers when all the shops were long closed for the night. Thor, as usual, had barreled on ahead in ignorance, and his lovely gift was being rejected. That was delightful.
"Special rules at the South Pole. No live plants unless they're edible, and it sounds like Firetongue doesn't count. We're supposed to do our best to maintain the environment as it is. Nothing grows there naturally, so we don't bring anything in except for food. Sorry," Jane said again, handing the bouquet back to Thor. "They really are beautiful."
"I'll keep them and think of you."
Loki sauntered over closer to Heimdall, who'd kept his eyes averted upward, when Thor bent down toward Jane. "Have you had a chance to inquire about the process for reobtaining citizenship yet?" He heard movement behind him, Thor and Jane approaching, thankfully.
"The hour is late, my prince. I shall do so as soon as duty permits."
"Take whatever time you need, Heimdall," Thor said. "Take care of it as soon as you can. I expect to go to Midgard's New York tomorrow, probably late morning. I might send…perhaps Jolgeir ahead of me to ensure I arrive at an agreeable time. Tomorrow afternoon, then, perhaps?"
"I shall see to it."
"And the Nine are still at peace?" Thor asked.
"With each other, at least. Queen Farbauti is building."
"Building what?" Thor asked. Heimdall's tone had not been ominous, but Thor couldn't help a flare of worry.
"I can't say yet. A large structure. Using the Ice Casket."
"She's been living in a cave," Loki said dryly, though Heimdall's observation had put him on instant alert as well. "Probably wants a better place to live now that their war's over and she's queen." If there was more to it, it didn't matter – it shouldn't matter – for at least seven and a half centuries. And it wasn't his problem. He would insist on that to anyone who asked, and try hard to convince himself of it as well, since absent the bifrost or possession of something similarly powerful – he could not help a glance at the container holding the Tesseract – there was nothing he could do about it, regardless. "Shall we go, Jane?"
Jane nodded. She squeezed Thor's hand once more before letting it go. "What do we do?"
Heimdall opened the lid of the box containing the Tesseract, while Thor came around to Heidall's side of the little podium-like table it rested on.
"Come forward. Hand out like so. No need to touch anything," Loki said, demonstrating.
Jane imitated Loki's position, hand out over the Tesseract.
"I'll see you in four and half months. Depending on the weather," Thor said.
"I'll be hoping for good weather."
"And Loki…if you should ever need me…I'm here."
"Very noble of you. You don't—. You still have the amulet, don't you." It hadn't occurred to him until now. But he himself had dropped the amulet in Thor's hand. The amulet that called to specifically the talisman Thor had so generously just given him.
"Now that you mention it…I suppose I do still have it around somewhere."
Loki sighed and let his eyes fall closed. Thor's satisfied smile belied any surface attempt to pretend he'd only now realized this. It struck Loki as something he himself might have done, except he would have done it more cleverly, obviously. "Don't get too attached to it. Svartalfheim may not, but Alfheim knows exactly where that amulet was left."
"If they ask for it…it might prove difficult to locate."
"Do as you like, then, but don't expect me to come back here and get you out of a war a second time. Understood?"
"Understood."
"Good," Loki said, growing irritated. Thor still wore that annoying smile. "Ready, Jane?"
Jane nodded. She would ask about the amulet later – she assumed they were talking about the same thing they'd burst in on her lesson with Nadrith to ask the Light Elf king about – but right now she was excited to see the Tesseract in action, to experience another race across the universe.
"I'll return you to the same location you departed from, Lady Jane. The journey will be even easier than last time," Heimdall said.
Jane held up her other hand in a wave, and her vision was overwhelmed by light.
/
This chapter was titled "Parting" until I was making some final check of something, after already uploading it, and not being really satisfied with the title, somehow the word "pumpkin" leaped out at me, and I liked it, and I pondered it a bit, and then I made the change. You can ponder various applications and interpretations if you like...or you can roll your eyes at me and move along with your day. I won't mind either way. :-)
The bonus that no one asked for (it's been on my mind having just rewatched Thor): On What Stuff is Called in the Thor Movies. I've long thought it would be fun (in a weirdly obsessive way) to make a blog entry on "how to write Thor fanfic in line with canon." But then canon kept growing, and in particular once you add in Ragnarok with a director who explicitly said he wasn't concerned about prior canon, well, it just gets messy. BUT, sticking with only Thor 1 & Avengers 1 (...with a little seasoning from Thor 2), here's a tiny bit of why I call people what I do...and what I'd probably do differently if I were starting over.
(1) Aesir vs. Asgardian: I had seen the term "Aesir" in fanfics and in mythology, but it was never used in Thor/Avengers, so I wasn't sure if this word "existed" in the MCU. I liked the idea of a distinction between Asgardian citizens (who could be from any realm) and Aesir (the "race" descended originally from Asgard), but I wanted to stick with MCU terms. I decided to use "Aesir" in the end because while it doesn't appear in the movie, it does appear in the Thor shooting script, though not as dialogue: "Colorful CEREMONIAL BANNERS of the Nine Realms adorn the room, crowded with AESIR and REPRESENTATIVES from across Yggdrasil, all BUZZING with excitement." On the other hand, that word still hasn't been used in any movie, so...probably if I had it to do over again, I'd just use "Asgardian." Maybe.
(2) Jotun: One of those weird words you can see spelled every which way in fanfics. With an umlaut, with two n's or one, I've even seen it spelled with a "d" in the middle. (All the variations are understandable, for various reasons.) The script's spelling is consistent: Jotun, Jotuns, Jotunheim, so this one at least was easy for me.
(3) Prince: I debated hard on this one, from the first time I decided to use it in Beneath (I remember it very well!). No Asgardians ever refer to Thor or Loki as princes in the movies. (The closest we come is the Jotun who calls Thor a "princess," and this bit of direction from the script: "The Gatekeeper swings his massive sword at the prince.") Of course, we don't see them interacting with "the peasants," either. But in a Thor 2 deleted scene, we do see an Einherjar calling Thor simply "Thor." Maybe they're meant to be dear old friends. But I've long felt strangely uneasy with the word "prince" applied to them. (It makes me think more of rom-coms than dramatic sci-fi angst, maybe.) If I was starting from scratch, I might strike the word "prince" from the Asgardian lexicon.
Can you tell I'm beginning to feel nostalgic? (BTW, please spell these things or use these terms however you like! This has nothing to do with what anyone else writes, only with what I write...and even then only in the Beneath family of stories. I've dropped the "Aesir/Asgardian" distinction and even "prince" in some other stories.)
So if you're still reading bravo (or, you know, if you just scrolled past to here that's cool too!) - here's the preview for Ch. 217: On Asgard it's way past bedtime, and at the South Pole, well, Loki and Jane are back!
And excerpt:
"You'll ask. You'll tell me later."
With that, the last vestige of the good humor of moments before was sucked out of the room. Jane looked up at Loki. "In twenty years?"