The dark curtain of night drops over Gotham city everyday people go to work the nightshift, wondering what they will encounter but also knowing that they have a caped crusader for protection.
Those that work against the force of good rise from their daly slumber, some go to their drawing boards as they try to devise a plan that will destroy the city's winged protector once and for all.
While others only wish to line their pockets with the money that they get from the people they extort.
But one Clown Prince Of Crime sleeps peacefully in his king sized bed, beneath his purple satin sheets still lost in the land of dreams .
Rain streams down the windows of the Joker's lair as he is awakened by the sound of high heels moving across the floor.
"Mmm Harley what are you doing?" The Joker asked as he propped himself up on the bed.
"Sorry Puddin I just had a craving." Harley said as she pulled the foil top off a cup of Vinalia Chocolate swirl pudding.
"Is that the last one?"
"I'm afraid so Puddin but you know I'm not opposed to sharing." Harley said as she spread the pudding across her lips.
The Joker sat up in the bed and eyed his lover longingly as he watched her slowly walk over to their bed.
Harley giggled and smiled as she slowly walked savoring the look of longing on her lover's face, knowing that certain parts were more than ready for her.
Once at the bed Harley flopped down on the bed giggling as she did.
The Joker stared at her longingly as ran his fingers down her back, enjoying the shiver that he felt beneath his finger tips.
Then the Joker pulled Harley closer to him and cupped her chin with his hand.
"Puddin."
The Joker closed the distance between them as he pressed his lips to hers, savoring the moan that left her throat and the taste of the pudding on her lips.
He gently rolled her over onto her back as the kiss continued.
Then when he broke the kiss needing air he traced the small heart tattoo on her cheek with his finger.
He was lost in thought and a thought that he was never comfortable with.
He stopped tracing her tattoo as he heard her laughing, he turned to face her hoping that a joke could relieve him from the uncomfortable feeling he felt whenever she got too close to him.
"Harley?" The Joker asked as he looked at his lover who laughed mockingly at him.
"Do you know where I am, you don't do you, how have your plans with batsy gone, how is your mind my little Puddin?
A bullet does scare you but my love makes you tremble with fear the man who laughed and said boo in the face of Scarecrow's fear toxin can't handle a woman having his heart.
You want the world to think that you fear nothing and have nothing to lose, you want all the villains to tell scary stories about you like you are a ghost.
But you're a man who is afraid to be in love, and afraid to admit that he needs the woman he pushed away.
And it's too late now you know that I've been gone for too long, and now you've lost me forever!" Harley shouted as she continued to laugh.
"No this is not real."The Joker said as he tried to get up from the bed.
"Real what gives a man like you the right to decide what's real, you're nothing but a fraud!"
"You want everyone to think that you're this invisible man with this dark philosophy that everyone should accept, that you're a criminal mastermind;that could pull off the most difficult of crimes alone, and a man that fears nothing.
But you were all too happy to take all the credit for the crime, when you couldn't have done it without me but a prince can't let people know he needed a queen's help.
But the truth is you are nothing without me, and I am far better off without you!"
"That's a lie you can't be better off without me I made you and I can end you!" The Joker said as he pulled a gun out of his nightstand and put it to her head.
"...Boss…Boss "
"What the fuck do you want can't you see I'm busy?!" The Joker shouted as he pulled a gun from under the pillow beside him and aimed at the man who entered his bedroom.
"Yeah MrJ I'm sorry but the thing is that the other guys have grown restless."
"What?"
"..;The other guys want to go do a new crime, and were wondering if you had anything planned.
"...But I'm totally cool with hanging around here for another night or two."
"Oh I've got a plan Grizzly bring the car around and tell the rest of the boys to be ready."
"Yes Sir Mr J." Grizzly said as he quickly left the room.
The Joker quickly dressed, put his lucky deck of cards in his pocket, and grabbed a few weapons from his bedroom arsonal.
But as he left the room he could still hear a single voice.
'Good luck Puddin "
"Shut the fuck up."
Later the Joker drove the Smiley car around the city as he tried to come up with a plan , but he also couldn't help but notice the emptiness of the passenger seat beside him.
Then he let out a groan as he noticed that his gas tank was almost empty.
The Joker pulled into the nearest gas station, and walked inside
Inside the gas station a college student listens to her music as she studies for a very important test.
"Put fifty bucks on pump six."
"You got it bro I didn't think people used cash anymore."The girl said as she took the money, and looked at the man who gave it to her.
"Oh God z mean cash is great sir if that your thing sorry about the bro thing please don't kill me the girl said as her blue eyes widened.
The Joker looked at the young blue eyed blonde haired woman, who was trembling in front of him.
But it was the Psychology book that he saw laying open on the counter that took him back to an unwanted memory.
The Joker sat in a metal chair in front of a metal table in a gray room, the color he knew was to promote a lack of stimulation in order to make the patients more calm.
But to the Joker this color was nothing but a feeble attempt to get a genius to conform to a false reality.
They would get a joke from him if he was bored and needed a laugh, watching the so-called interpreters of the mind grapple with one of his jokes never failed to bring him pleasure.
The Joker stared at a tall bookshelf filled with Psychology books as he heard the door to the room open.
But he had to put forth a little extra effort as he heard a pair of women's high heels make their way towards the table.
"Well what do we have here?" The Joker asked as he watched a young blonde woman with blue eyes and black glasses sit in the chair in front of him and put a huge binder down on the table beside her.
"Hi I'm Harleen Quinzel. I've been assigned to be your phycologist nice to meet you."
"Oh I can definitely tell that you're new I would say that you are a few months into your first year residency."
"How do you know that?" Harleen asked, as she watched the man that sat in front of her.
"Have you ever heard that animals can smell fear?"
"Yes."
"Well I can smell your newness, and I have to say that you are very bold to have chosen to talk with me .And I must say you are nothing like what I expected " The Joker asked as he watched her
"What do you mean?"
"To answer the first part of your question I am one of the most volatile people in this asylum as they call it.
I can think of a couple of other people in this Bastille of insanity would be better suited for your newness, like the woman who raises her flowers, or the doctor turned iceman.
But you chose me one of the most infamous criminals in Gotham and this place.
And then there is the second part which refers to the last so call brain interrupter that tried to speak with me
He was a man in his sixties a few years away from retirement he was fat, bald, had bags under his eyes, and drank way to much coffee as he tried to stay awake because "I'm sure the things that he got out of the other people here must have been hell on a good night's sleep.
But he was determined to trudge in the footsteps of the people before him,and when he finally retired last week as he ate his stale store bought cake; I'm certain that he tried to delude himself into thinking that beating his head against a brick wall for the last thirty years actually meant something.
And here you come ready to do the exact same thing, and you're actually happy about it. The whole thing sickens me .
And with that our hour is up."
"What?" Harleen said as she quickly looked at the clock on the wall
"Egg timers kiddo Egg timers it makes knowing when to pull out sooo much easier."
"Please don't kill me."
"What?" The Joker said as he snapped back to reality.
"I said please don't kill me."
"I'm not going to kill you Tracy provided that the trembling finger that is dangerously close to that emergency alarm button doesn't actually touch it." The Joker said with a friendly smile
"That's impossible, there is no way you could have known that I watched you and you were completely zoned out the whole time. Tracy said. as she slowly dropped her hand to her side.
"Oh is that what your all knowing phycology book told you Tracy?!" The Joker shouted as he threw the book to the back of the store, and laughed as he heard glass break in the refrigerated section.
"Ahhh!
Okay I'm sorry I didn't mean any disrespect, just please don't kill me!"Tracy shouted as she cowered behind the counter.
"I'm not going to kill you Tracy, however I will give you a piece of advice that isn't on any little test or in any little book." The Joker said as he walked behind the counter.
Madness isn't the crippling mental disease that people would like you to think, it's actually achieving a higher state of consciousness which allows you to focus on multiple things at once.
So while I was zoned out as you put it I actually knew what you were going to do, before the thought actually crossed your mind, and in my mind's eye I could see your finger moving towards the button.
And now that the lesson is over I want you to empty the cash register, and be quick about it I don't have all night."
Tracy quickly unlocked the cash register and retrieved all the money, she was about to put it in a bag when The Joker stopped her.
What candy is in this box?"
"Watermelon Blow pops.''Tracy said as she double checked the cash register.
"Okay I'll take those too."
"I'll dump the candy in the bag and put the money in the box, that way it will be easier to keep track of.
"Kiddo don't ever let anyone call you stupid what sandwhiches are in the sandwhich case?"
"Ham And Deviled Egg."
"Good, I'll take those too." the Joker said, as he casually walked over to the sandwich case and emptied it.
Then Tracy quickly put the sandwiches in the bag.
Tracy you've been a very good girl, now there's only one thing left to do."
Then the Joker turned and laughed as he shot multiple rounds into the sandwich case.
Then the Joker turned on his heel and left the gas station.
As the Joker left the gas station he saw his henchmen lined up outside their cars.
"So that took a minute huh did you get anything good?" Bone breaker asked.
The Joker dropped the bag on the hood of the smiley car, and Bone breaker quickly stuck his hand inside.
only to pull out a Sandwich and a Lollipop
"What the hell Joker you were inside that place for almost an hour, and all you come out with is sandwhiches and Lollipops where's the fucking-"
A single shot was heard as Bonebreaker dropped to the ground.
"The money will be divided among whoever makes it back to the lair, but in the meantime we can't be expected to rob on an empty stomach now can we?"