Chapter 2

"So, you're from Bunnyburrow?"

Leilani and Jade stood in the elevator. The meeting was over, and Leilani had finished setting up her cubicle. She was ready to go home and take a warm, relaxing bubble bath.

"Yeah. Born and raised. Most of the population are rabbits, but there's some weasels, foxes, and ferrets. How long have you lived in the city?"

"I've lived here my whole life," replied Jade, "I have however had three different homes here; first the house me and my family lived in, then my own apartment, and now I have a house again, but it's my own this time."

"Oh, wow! I'm hoping I can get a house someday, but I love my apartment!"

"Say…how about I show you around Savannah Central? The nightlife here is unbelievable, and there's an art show going on tonight!"

"Great! Do you have a car?"

"Yeah!"

"Is…this what they call 'abstract art?'" Leilani asked as she and Jade stood in front of one of the many art pieces. The painting consisted of splatters of blue that gradually became darker on the way down.

"I'd say so. I'm guessing it's supposed to be the ocean." Jade put a paw under her chin, her golden bracelets jingling down her wrist.

"I love it! It's a whole new way of looking at the ocean!" Leilani stepped closer to the painting, her nose nearly touching it.

"Excuse me! Weasel!" An otter in a uniform whispered sharply as he ran up to her. "We ask that you do not come in contact with any of the art pieces unless otherwise stated by the artist!"

"Did the artist state otherwise?" Leilani asked, still in close range of the painting, her eyes still focused on it.

"No, he did not!"

"Well, I'm not in contact with it, sir."

"Why, you little—"

"Hey, warden, let her enjoy the art!" Jade snapped.

The otter grunted and walked away.

"Well, in that case, Leilani, I'm gonna go look at that sculpture over there. I wanna see if it's made of clay or some sort of metal."

"Okay." Leilani continued to stare at the painting.

After looking at a few more art pieces, she mustered up the fortitude to take a break and ask a museum curator where the bathroom was.

"Jade, I'll be right back. I have to go to the bathroom." Leilani whispered.

"Oh yeah, I maybe should've told you they don't have a bathroom. Sorry," replied Jade.

"One of the museum information animals said the closest one is by the bank across the street. That's where I'm going." Leilani took another look at the blue impressionistic painting and walked out the doors.

Leilani walked across the street and kept an eye on the large gray building in front of her. She only could see the side of it, a lot which was covered up by tall grass, but she figured it was probably the bank.

As she got closer to the building, she saw, beyond the grass, a copper brown weasel at an ATM.

"No!" The weasel shouted as he punched the machine. He cried out and grabbed onto his paw.

Leilani felt a bit alarmed, but she felt sorry for the guy. Judging by his ill-fitting tank top and the rough condition of his fur, he didn't seem to be doing too well as far as money went.

Just as she passed by him, she felt an urge to say something to him. Maybe he needed words of encouragement? She walked backwards and saw him hanging his head as he walked away from the ATM.

"You all right there?" Leilani asked.

The weasel abruptly straightened his back. A toothpick fell out of his mouth. "Oh, uh, yeah! I'm okay, honey. Nothin' to worry about here."

"Uh…okay!" Leilani entered the bank and headed for the bathroom.

After she left the bank, she saw the same weasel was still near the side of the building. He seemed to be in a much better mood as he looked intensely at the money inside a wallet.

"I see your luck has changed!" Leilani commented.

"Yep. It sure has! The good citizens of Zootopia always make sure of that!" He tucked the wallet in the waist of his shorts. "Glad to see someone sendin' me good wishes! I'm Duke, Duke Weaselton, or as I like to call myself, the Duke of Weaseltown!" The weasel held out a paw.

"Leilani Musterson, Duchess of…Bunnyburrow!" Leilani shook his paw. She continued her walk back to the museum.

"Wow, you're from Bunnyburrow?" Duke asked as he walked beside her.

"Yeah, I just got here yesterday!"

"Great! So what brought ya—whoa!"

Leilani saw Duke fall into the tall grass.

"It's okay; I just tripped," Duke held a thumb up.

Leilani ran over to him. "Here, let me help you—"

Two other wallets were near his shorts.

"Oh, it's okay, I got it." Duke hastily grabbed the wallets and stuffed them in his shorts.

"Wha…why do you have two other wallets?" Leilani took a step back. "You stole them?"

Duke's eyes widened as he held his paws up. "Shh! Shh! Hey, hey, look, calm down! I can explain!"

"Help! This guy's a thief!" Leilani just started to run when she felt Duke grab onto the back of her blazer.

"No! No! Please!" Duke pleaded.

Leilani fell backward into the grass as Duke still held onto her blazer.

"Oh, no! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to—"

Leilani sat up. "Thief! Help!"

Just as Leilani prepared to get back up again, something sprayed in her face. A giggle escaped her mouth as positive feelings began to flow through her. "Wait, what was that?"

"I don't know, Lei-lei-lei, but it got me too!"

Leilani turned to Duke and saw his face was wet as he wiped at his eyes. She pulled apart the tall grass and saw bright green flowers, their petals nearly matching their stems.

She saw the flowers were wet. "Are these the flowers the police mentioned in the—uh oh."

Leilani woke up back in her apartment. She stared up at the dark green ceiling in her bedroom, the light fixture in the middle of it. She slowly sat up and rubbed her eyes.

She was startled by something hard that rubbed against one of her eyelids. She looked at her paw and saw a silver ring adorned with three diamonds, the middle bigger than the other two.

"Wait…when did I buy a ring?" Leilani touched it. "Wow! I love it! I should treat myself more often! I mean, I'm a marketing agent now! I'm gonna be making more money! I should also get something for Jade! I'd say we're friends now!" Leilani gasped. "Wait! I know when I bought the ring! Those flowers that sprayed me! Daring Do, I think? Well, get sprayed with weird flowers, get nice jewelry!"

Leilani threw her covers off, got out of bed, and screamed.

There were feet poking out of her closet.

"Who are you?" Leilani screamed as she ran over to her bedroom door. She grabbed a stick of deodorant and pointed it at the intruder.

"Uh…where am I?" The feet retreated into the closet. "Ow! My head!"

The owner of the feet walked out of the closet.

"You?" Leilani took a step closer.

Duke Weaselton raised his paws. "Look, lady, I'm just as confused as you, here! Is this your place?"

"Yes! This is my apartment!" Leilani slowly lowered her rose-scented weapon. "What are you doing here?"

"I just said I'm just as confused as you! C'mon! Keep up!" Duke threw his paws in the air.

"Wow! You got a new ring, too?"

"A what?"

Leilani ran up to Duke and grabbed his paw. "There! I got one too! We must've gone on a shopping spree after the Daring Dos sprayed us!"

"Oh yeah! From the news! Yeah, that story's been all over the place for a while now."

Leilani dropped Duke's paw. "Well, you're still a thief, but I'm glad that the worst the flowers did was make us buy expensive jewelry."

Duke chuckled. "Yeah, I guess so. Well, it's been real, but the Duke's gotta head out." Duke took a step forward and there was a muffled crackle.

"Oh, uh, sorry." Duke picked up a piece of paper and handed it to Leilani. "I guess you need this."

Leilani didn't remember dropping any paper on the floor, either. She turned the paper around.

Her heart dropped.

The top of the paper read: Certificate of Marriage.

The bottom had the signatures of Leilani Musterson and Duke Weaselton.

"Lei-lei-lei?" Duke came up next to her and looked down at the paper. His face dropped. "Oh."

"No, no, no, this can't be." Leilani again ran her eyes over it. "This has to be fake!"

"This…this is fantastic!" Duke exclaimed as he gave Leilani a hug. "We're married!"

"What?" Leilani tensed up. "Why are you so on board with this?"

Duke grabbed the paper and held it above his head. "This is my chance to start a new life! To be the weasel I was meant to be! I can truly be the Duke of Weaseltown!"

In a rare moment, Leilani, her eyes two sizes bigger, her mouth wide open, had no idea what to say.

Duke walked out of the room and looked all around the living room. "You'd have to make good money to live in an apartment as nice as this, and you're pretty!"

Leilani's eyes filled with tears as she stomped into the living room. "No! You're not starting a new life with me!" She sunk to the floor and lied on her belly. "I was just starting a new life here! Yesterday was my first day as a marketing agent, and the boss noticed me!"

"Oh, do you have work today? Have a good day, toots!" Duke bent down to kiss her.

Leilani blocked his muzzle with her paw. "Yes, I do, but on the way, I'm going to take that certificate to the nearest law firm to see if it's legit, then I'm filing for divorce!" She stormed back to her room and closed the door.

"Lei-lei-lei?" Duke knocked on the door. "Can we at least at talk about this?"

"What is there to talk about?" Leilani sniffed. "We barely know each other and woke up married because of some flowers. Is it really so bad that I want a divorce?"

"Well…I guess not, but we could get to know each other!"

Leilani slipped on a blue floral print dress with short sleeves. "I'm not too interested in that, but my name is actually 'Leilani.' If it's too hard for you, you can call me 'Lei.' A few animals do."

"Well, since you're my wife and all, I'd like to give you a short version of my name to call me by, but it's so short."

Leilani sighed and looked at the closed door. She felt a little bad for getting so excited. "If it helps, I do like your name."

"Really? I've been told it makes me sound like a hick."

"That's weird; I mean, it clearly was invented from the royal title." Leilani wiped her face with a cleansing wipe. Her smudged eye makeup was quickly wiped away. She opened the door and grabbed her purse. "Well, I'm off. Feel free to get yourself some cereal or something."

"Oh, okay. See ya later!" Duke walked to the kitchen.

"Wait! You're not going to steal anything, are you?" Leilani pointed a finger at him.

"Psh…please. You're my wife, toots! I wouldn't steal from my wife!"

"Well, fair enough, I guess." Leilani shrugged and walked out the door.

"This is a legitimate document."

Leilani sunk into her seat. "I thought so."

The badger behind the desk clicked her tongue. "I'm sorry for what you're going through, Miss Musterson, I really am. If it's any consolation, you're not the first animal to have too many drinks and marry a loser."

Leilani's ear twitched in embarrassment. "No, it was these flowers that sprayed us! Daring Do!"

The badger took off her glasses. "From the news?"

Leilani nodded.

"Oh no. I really hope the ZPD gets those flowers under control."

"So, how do I get a divorce?" Leilani grinned and nodded as she folded her paws.

The badger put her glasses back on and inhaled through her teeth. "You see, Miss Musterson, I don't agree with it, but Zootopia's divorce laws heavily favor the man."

Leilani's face slowly dropped. "W-What do you mean?"

"If you're the one that files for divorce, this 'Duke' guy will likely get most of what you have. Also, I don't know if you'll like this any better, but the law also says a couple has to live under the same roof for a year before they can divorce."

Leilani squinted her eyes and grabbed her ears. "This isn't happening! This isn't happening! Ma'am, I just bought my apartment…well, condo, actually, among other things! I also have some designer dishes and jewelry inherited from my Grammy! I just moved to Savannah Central, and I just started a new career! I can't deal with some accidental marriage to some weirdo grifter! He wouldn't give me a divorce! He wants to stay married because I'm his ticket to a better life!" Leilani sat up and gasped. "He knew about the divorce laws! That's why he was so calm about me leaving to file for divorce!"

"Well, I'm sorry, Miss Musterson. I don't know what else to tell you. Maybe…you can try to make things work with this guy? There must be some good things about him."

Leilani ran her paws down her face. "Well…I guess I could try to make it work. We're both outgoing, and other than the whole stealing and 'surprise marriage' thing, we get along well."

"There you g—"

"—He's kinda cute, kinda rugged, and he thinks I'm pretty. His confidence is attractive, too."

The badger stood up. "Great! So, I think we're done here, at least for now."

Leilani jolted. "Oh, yeah." She stood up and shook the badger's paw. "Thanks for all your help. I'll see what I can do. I'll just live with him for a year, and try to somehow get him to divorce me."

"You're welcome. By the way, if I were you, I'd report this 'Daring Do' incident to the ZPD. It might help them know who's planting these things."

"I will. Thank you. You know, I've always wanted to help the police solve a mystery! Maybe I'll be a hero! I wouldn't want to wear a cape, though. It would probably get caught on a bunch of stuff."

The badger gave her a nod. "Yeah, I'm with you there!"