A/N: It's merge time! I love it when the merge hits!
With respect for the reviewers:
Gucci Mane LaFlare: I'm glad to see you enjoyed Ellody. I really enjoyed writing her.
Crosshot: I glad you liked the cheer. Ellody really was the best choice. I know you're getting sick of waiting for Gwuncan, that's why I think you'll love the meta commentary in this chapter. Among other things…
The recap begins with a distance view of the film lot. "Last time on Total Drama Action! The contestants are shown running across the football field set, then they are shown pushing Chef, Noah and Ellody fighting in the boxing ring, then Sammy and Duncan fighting in the ballpit. "It was a festival of guts, determination, and sweat, as yours truly put our contestants through their sports movie paces!"
Duncan is shown picking up Jo's PDA Noah and Duncan are shown talking, then Topher is shown talking to Ellody. Ellody's elimination was shown with Topher's confessional, then Amber and Sammy hugging Ellody goodbye is shown. "Jo attempted to make Duncan and Noah fight but the two talked it out instead. Boring. What wasn't boring was Topher's attempt to use Ellody to get rid of Sammy, and the fact that he voted against his own alliance again. Ellody was sent packing, but not before having a moment with her friends."
Chris is shown in the security room. "But Topher's betrayal won't be the only subterfuge today." He hits a button and the screen displays a black background winding to a white circle. "We're gonna make the best spy movie ever!" Chris is shown in the white circle of the background wearing his powder blue tux. "And we might have a few sneaky surprises along the way," The host threw a tomato at the screen and when the juice cleared Chris was in front of the trailers as per usual. " Right here, on Total! Drama! Action!"
(intro)
{A standing light pops up on a set with skyscrapers in the background. A hanging light swoops in front of a set with houses in the background, then a camera pops out of a sewer with a rat on it, and another camera pops out of a hole in a tree scaring the raccoon inside. A masculine hand raises up a clapboard and sets it off.}
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;
{The camera's point of view shows a film lot with the two trailers, city background, water tower, and fake hill. Chris drives by in a golf cart, and the camera flies through to the warehouses as crew members push a couple backdrops through, follows by the costume rack. )
You guys are on my mind!
{The camera goes up the fake hill and down into a small pool where Jo is swimming, a shark is behind her. Jo notices it and turns around to punch it in the nose.)
Ya asked me what I wanted to be,
And now I think the answer is plain to see!
(The camera moves out of the water to show Scott on a surfboard held up by machinery. He desperately tries to dodge several seagulls being shot at him. One finally hits him and he falls over.)
I wanna be...famous!
(The camera moves left to show Duncan as the one shooting the gulls from a gull cannon with Gwen right beside, laughing along with him. Duncan turns and Gwen looks at her feet, rubbing her left arm nervously. The camera moves on to show the sastchwawanakwa in a pink dress, matching boa, and straw hat. The door slides open and the camera goes through)
I wanna live close to the sun!
(A beach set is shown with Alejandro and Amber lounging on a beach chair together, a shark sits in a beach chair to either side of them wearing sunglasses.)
Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!
(Topher is shown in the make-up confessional having it applied. A hand sprays something in his eye accidentally)
Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;
(Trent and Amy are standing on rock pillars with padded poles. Amy hits Trent several times before he hits her back sending some of her hair down.)
I'll get there one day.
(The hair lands in a pot of sludge Chef is cooking. He shrugs and turns to Sammy who looks nervous but determinedly back at him.)
'Cause I wanna be...famous!
(Harold and Ellody are shown standing in front of a set of screens in the security room. Harold presses a random button and causes an explosion. )
(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
(We focus in on one screen where a grizzly bear is growling towards Ella. The princess wannabe smiles at him sweetly, the bear smiles back and the two dance. )
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (N a-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
(They dance their way past the lame-o-sine and the back window lowers to show Noah and Crimson inside. The camera continues through the window as camera flashes go off. Chris is shown standing at a podium in a powder blue tux. He opens an envelope.)
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
(The scene moves out to show Chef is in a sparkly hot pink dress and matching Chef's hat, along with sliver earrings and necklace. Chris looks a little weirded out. The camera moves back through a large screen then pans down to Geoff and Kitty sitting on a couch about to make out.)
*The sound of the theme being whistled goes through the air *
(They notice the camera and decide not to kiss, the scene moves back to show a small studio with two couches to either side of the one the couple is sitting at. The rest of the cast in sitting on them as the large screen above flashes to the Total Drama action logo. )
(end of intro)
The focus is on a fly ridden sandwich before moving out to show Duncan as the one holding it, and everyone else is sitting on the benches between the trailers. He sits down next to Noah. The cynic raises a brow. "You aren't gonna eat that are you?"
"Why not? Chef's made worse food." Duncan said, taking a bite. "Hey, I've been thinking I made a mistake assuming things last challenge, and you made a mistake making two alliances. I'd say that makes us even."
"I still don't consider what I did a mistake, but sure." Noah said.
Jo's eyes narrowed.
(Confessional)
Jo: And now my sabotage attempt made them make up? Being a mole is harder than I thought.
Static
On the bench with the Gaffers, Amber is giving Topher a suspicious look. "What?" The blonde said.
"Strange that Ellody would vote for Sammy of all people, considering their friendship." Amber pointed out.
"Maybe she just decided it was the most logical choice." Topher replied without breaking a sweat. "Besides, we should be happy. The merge has got to be soon."
Amber sighed and the focus moved to Sammy trying to get into the girl's trailer. "Come on! I left something in there!" She groaned. "This is giving me flashbacks to all the times Amy locked me out of my room."
A small camera like device lowered itself from the trailer's awning and Scanned the twin's face."Intruder alert! Entry denied!" Before Sammy could react the steps leading to the trailer turned into a slide and Sammy fell into a pit that opened in the ground.
Alejandro rushed to the pit. "Sammy?" He was hit in the neck with a tranquilizer dart.
"Alejandro!" Both Amber and Topher gasped, running to the pit. A black bowler hat flew into the two knocking both into the pit.
All the Grips gasped. "Run!" Duncan said. They all ran for the boy's trailer across the area. Noah lagged behind a bit and ended up locked out.
Inside the trailer Gwen was breathing hard. "Are the producers insane?!"
"You've seen enough of this show to know the answer." Duncan replied.
(Confessional)
Noah: Well, looks like Chris finally lost it. I knew his masochistic tendencies would killer me eventually. (A hand from off screen clubs Noah over the head, knocking him out.)
Static
"Where's Noah?" Gwen asked.
"Probably been knocked out like the others." Duncan said nonchalantly.
"The producers wouldn't kill us right? I mean it'd be really bad press for the show if all the contestants died." Gwen said.
Duncan cupped her cheek. "I promise pasty, I won't let that happen." The two stood there and began to move in for a kiss.
The focus moved to Jo who scoffed. "You're making your love nest now?"
A smoke bomb flew threw the window filling the trailer with knockout gas. Before Duncan and Gwen could actually kiss they passed out. The gas finally reached Jo, who managed to flip the camera off before she went.
/
The warehouses are briefly shown before the focus moves skyward, when it comes back down we see hanging lights followed by the cast all knocked out in a cave set. Sammy, Alejandro, Amber and Topher have all ended up in a tangled heap. Noah and Jo are by themselves and Gwen has landed on top of Duncan. When she came to, she gasped.
"Morning Pasty." Duncan said with a smirk. Gwen quickly pushed herself to her feet.
"Uh, so that was." She rubbed the back of her head. "I mean." She blushed.
"You don't have to explain yourself. I know I'm magnetic." Duncan bragged.
Gwen ribbed him playfully. "Don't oversell yourself."
"I'm not." The punk said, placing a hand on her shoulder.
"This whole will they/won't they thing has gotten trite don't you think?" A droll voice remarked, the focus moved left to show it was Noah.
"That's one way of putting it." Jo scoffed, picking up her PDA from the ground quickly. Noah gave her a suspicious look.
The focus moved further left to the pile of four and Amber were on top. "Topher, get off me!" Amber complained.
"Will you both get off me?" Alejandro said as the focus moved down the pile.
"That would be nice." Sammy said from the bottom.
The four untangled themselves.
A projector in the wall of the cave turned on showing Chris in the security room, sporting an eyepatch and petting a white cat. He laughed evilly. "Welcome, to the cloak and dagger, world of Spy Movies, man and woman!" He said in a butchered accent.
"Dude, what's with the bad Jamaican accent?" Duncan asked.
"Duncan, it's clearly a Scottish accent." Gwen chuckled.
"No, French!" Jo argued.
"Latvian." Noah said. Everyone looked at him strangely. "What? It's a country."
"Guys, It's a Russian accent." Topher said confidently.
"Thank you Topher, it's nice to see someone knows I'm an actor." Chris smirked.
"Whatever." Amber rolled her eyes.
"Any good spy in any good spy movie must have three essential skills," The upper left corner of the screen was covered with a dynamite bomb and a pair of wire cutters over an orange and gold streaked background. "One, the ability to deactivate a bomb." The lower right corner of the screen was covered with an exploding skyscraper that the silhouette of a person was jumping from, with a yellow and green starburst background. The host ducked into the bottom left corner. "And three, the ability to fake an accent that makes people believe you actually speak the language," Chris moved his head to the upper right corner of the screen as lower left was replaced by a standard picture of him. "Like my fab Russian accent, mon!" He said in the terrible accent from earlier.
An unimpressed Noah, Duncan, Gwen, and Jo are briefly shown, then Sammy, Amber, Alejandro, and Topher are shown. Also unimpressed save Topher. As the host continued. Without his accent. "You'll need to two of the three skills to get through today's reward challenges,"
The focus shifted back to Chris. "Can you guess which two? Let me give you a hint!" He switched back to his terrible russian accent. "Not the third one man!" Chris began to laugh evilly again.
"Um, do any of you know about bombs?" Sammy asked the rest of the Gaffers.
"Only what I've read in fiction novels, and I sincerely doubt it's as easy as cutting the green wire." Amber replied.
"With your shaky fingers I wouldn't want to leave you in charge of that anyway." Topher said.
Behind them Alejandro rolls his eyes.
(Confessional)
Alejandro: What none of my teammates seems to have realized is we don't have to know how to disarm a real bomb. Just how you disarm one using spy movie logic.
Static
"Keep Jo away from the bombs, with her impatience she'd get us all killed." Noah told his teammates.
"Bombs have time limits Scrawny! By the time you made a decision we'd be dead." Jo retorted.
"Oh," Chris interrupted as the focus shifted back to the projection of him. "one last thing! Since I'm really ho-hum bored of the teams, I'm bustin' 'em up! From now on, it's every dude and dude-ette for themselves! I'll see you back on solid ground. Let the double-oh-sevening...begin!" Just before the projection went out the white cat Chris had been petting attacked him.
Immediately, Alejandro turned to his teammates. "I see no reason why we should not continue to work together. I do hope you will stick by me."
"Of course I will." Amber smiled.
"Yeah, you're the best player in the game. Obviously I want to be on your side." Topher said.
"Well, if you'll have me." Sammy whispered.
The focus shifted to Noah and Jo. "Listen I'm not saying we need to be in an alliance or anything, but with the Brady Bunch over there and ' painfully obvious romantic tension', I think we need to consider working together."
"Fine by me." Jo shrugged.
(Confessional)
Topher: I think I've already made it clear I'm willing to vote against my alliance should an opportunity arise, but they don't need to know that.
Static
Noah: Jo was really protective when she saw her PDA was where someone could get to it. Something is up with that. The best way to find out what it is, is to team up with her. And if it helps me get further in the game so much the better.
Static
Jo: I don't really need Scrawny to get further, but I don't want to come off as too strong.
Static
"So, how do we get out of here anyway?" Gwen asked.
"There's probably a hidden door somewhere." Duncan said. "Listen for anything hollow."
The contestants spread out and began to knock on things. Bored, Noah leaned up against a rock and an elevator opened in the wall. "Found it." He said
"Hey Scrawny, your laziness came in handy for once." Jo chuckled as she and the others made their way inside the elevator. Noah entered last and the elevator doors shut.
/
The focus moved from the base to the top of a water tower. The ding associated with elevators went off as the focus moved inside to show a wide circular room with pillars spaced out evenly around the circumference, in its center lay a bag of something or other placed under a glass bell jar.
"Cool." Duncan remarked.
"Killer." Gwen added.
"This is like one of those fancy museums." Amber gasped.
The wall projected Chris once again, now sans eyepatch, this time the scene was tinted a light blue. "Don't I look awesome in blue?" He said rhetorically "Now, for the first part of the spy movie challenge. See that case in the middle of the room?" He pointed to the glass bell jar as the focus was placed on it. "You have to get whatever's inside, 'cause you're gonna need it for part two of the challenge!"
"No problemo easy smash and grab." Duncan said confidently. As he pass one of the pillars a laser shot out of it bouncing off of several mirror place throughout the room, one nearly hit the punk.
Chris cleared his throat. "I need to finish! You gotta get whatever's inside without setting off the alarm. But be careful, those lasers will cut you clear in half!"
"What? But I'm already a twin, I don't wanna be a triplet!" Sammy gasped.
"Worry not Sammy. We can do this if we work together." Alejandro said.
"Right, we'll figure it out. Even if I have to work with Topher." Amber swallowed.
/
Amber and Topher were now caught between a number of lasers looking like they were in a game of twister. "This is all your fault!" Topher snapped.
"My fault?! You're the one who said we should duck under the previous laser!" Amber protested.
"Well you had us step over that laser two steps ago I think that's the one that got us in this mess." The blonde huffed. Alejandro was still at the edge of the laser grid.
Sammy meanwhile had yet to step in the lasers, looking at them nervously. "Alejandro, how can I help you guys?"
"Perhaps the lasers will turn off once someone gets to the prize." The Spaniard suggested, as he said this another laser shot out burning off a piece of hair. Alejandro swore in Spanish.
Sammy moved back and took a deep breath. Then she began to flip through some of the lasers.
Noah was slowly maneuvering through the lasers. "Wow Scrawny, your skinny body's actually useful in this challenge. Jo said as she ducked under a laser.
Gwen had bent down on the floor and was inching along in a way that accentuated her butt. Behind her Duncan was struggling to focus as he kept staring. "Nice assets." He smirked with an emphasis on the front half.
"Duncan! We need to focus!" Gwen protested, her face turning red.
"Oh, I'm focused alright." The punk chuckled. Gwen not so accidently kicked him in the face. Duncan sighed happily. "I like a girl with moxie."
Back with Noah and Jo the two are about halfway to the bell jar. "This is kinda fun." Jo laughed.
"For you maybe, I'm still waiting for this to backfire." Noah said as he crawled under a few lasers."
"Why are you so pessimistic all the time?" The jockette asked.
"When the sociopath known as Chris is in charge of your life, it's not pessimism. It's Realism." The cynic explained.
"Whatever." Jo looked ahead. "Huh, Tweedle Dumb's got moves."
The focus briefly shifted to Sammy rolling under a laser, before moving back to Noah and Jo. "She is a cheerleader. That requires a lot of athleticism. Especially if you lift other cheerleaders up."
"Please, cheerleading? Requires athleticism?" Jo scoffed.
The focus moved to Sammy as she dove between two lasers and flipped over a third to land on her feet. Back with Jo her mouth was hanging open.
"You were saying?" Noah retorted.
"Okay?" The focus moved to Sammy once again as she had reached the center. "So how do I open it?"
"Grab whatever's around and smash it open." Duncan commented from where he was. "Case probably isn't armed since the lasers are protecting it."
"I wouldn't count on that." Amber said from where she and Topher were still stuck.
"It's Chris we're talking about."
"Sure, but he also wants us to get there in good time. Remember this show is here to entertain people." Topher said.
The focus shifted back to Sammy. "That doesn't help much."
"If you won't break it open I'll do it myself!" Jo said, the focus shifting out to show she had reached the middle as well. She punched the glass and it shattered,causing all the lasers in the room to disappear.
(Confessional)
Sammy: I was too indecisive! Amy says that's one of my worst qualities. Actually, Amy says all my qualities are my worst but…
Static
Jo was rummaging around in the bag as all the other contestants gathered around. She pulled out a gun with a hook and wire cutters. "What am I supposed to do with these?
"That's a grappling gun." Noah noted. "Didn't Chris say something about escaping an exploding building?
The wall projected Chris into the room in red light. "The room blows in ten," In the lower right corner of the projection a countdown began. "Seven, six, five-"
Topher and Amber wrapped their arms around Alejandro immediately. "At least we're together." The bookworm said.
"I'm gonna miss you!" The blonde said.
Out of fear, Sammy huddled against Noah. "I guess Amy will be happy she lived longer than me." The cynic looked unsure how to react but patted her shoulder lightly.
Gwen hugged Duncan. "I love you."
"I know." The punk replied.
Jo was shown looking for an exit.
"Three, two,one." The projection now showed a skull and crossbones before the light changed to blue and Chris was shown on screen laughing. "Suckers! You shoulda seen the looks on your faces!"
The eight contestants gave him a flat look, but the focus was on Gwen and Duncan. "Oh come on!" Duncan protested.
Gwen was now blushing as she slowly moved away.
(confessional)
Gwen: I love you? Of all the corny things to say! I mean I thought I was dying okay? Give me a break!
Static
Duncan: At this point even I am getting tired of the Romantic tension between Pasty and I. I gotta make my move. You know after the challenge is over.
Static
Chris is still being projected from the wall as he explains. "You'll need the zipwire gun and the wire cutters for the next spy challenge." The focus moved to Jo as she looked at the tools she'd gotten from the bag. " Whether or not our smash and grab jockette wants to share her tools with the tool is totally up to her." Jo smirked and the focus moved back to Chris.
"And by the way! The first countdown was just a test! The real countdown begins, now!" The light from the projector turned red once more as a counter in the bottom right corner begins to count down from thirty. "Thirty, twenty-nine, twenty-eight-"
"No way! Chris is gonna let us die?!" Sammy gasped.
"He wouldn't! We're too important!" Topher protested.
"Seriously? He just faked us out. What makes you think he actually intends to blow us up this time?" Alejandro asked.
The focus moves outside and down to the base of the water tower where an assortment of explosives lie.
"Well I don't feel like finding out!" Gwen said.
"The zipline gun can get us out of here." Noah said. "But it needs something to hook on to."
Amber was pushing around the wall of the tower, and managed to open a small door in the wall. She looked out. "Would that work?" Everyone gathered around the door as the focus moved out to show a nearby warehouse.
"So long as Jo aims the gun right." The cynic deadpanned.
"What are you waiting for then? Shoot the gun" Duncan ordered.
"Whoa, I don't take orders." Jo scoffed. "And besides Chris said I didn't have to share my zipline."
"Are you crazy?!" Amber snapped.
"Maybe. Maybe not. You wanna find out?" Jo smirked.
"What do you want? You clearly have something in mind." Alejandro said.
The jockette's smirk widened. "Oh, nothing big. Just half the prize money if you win."
"What?!" Every other contestant screamed.
A paused symbol appeared on screen and Chris stepped in front of it. "This is why Jo is the perfect kind of mole. She's nasty. I love nasty." The host said, rubbing his hands together. He stepped away and the show footage resumed.
"Okay! If you save us!" Sammy cried.
"...Fine." Amber muttered.
Duncan nodded and Topher agreed.
Gwen was not convinced. "I'm not gonna let you blackmail us into giving up anything!" Gwen said.
"Oh yeah? What are you gonna do about it?" Jo asked. " I'm stronger, faster and smarter than all of you. The only way to get out is with this gun and I have it, so-"
At that moment Alejandro, who was now behind Jo, pushed her to the floor and took the grapple gun. Gwen smirked. "Trick the villain into a monologue while your ally sneaks up behind them. Classic spy movie trope."
"Nice work Pasty." Duncan complimented.
Alejandro shot the gun out the door and the focus followed it as it bounced across the building, over the side, then back up to hook one a small overhang. Back in the water tower Alejandro is tying the wire to a pillar.
"How are we all gonna escape with one zipline?" Noah asked.
"No problem." Alejandro unbuckled his belt to use in place of a T-bar. "Grab on! Andele!"
"I love it when you speak Spanish." Amber sighed.
"Don't mind if I do!" Topher cheered, leaping onto Alejandro.
/
The beeping sound of the counter counting down can be heard as the focus shifted outside to show Alejandro hanging from his belt as the rest of the contestant clung on for dear life. Naturally it was not a smooth landing, with Gwen landing on top of Duncan for the second time that day, Noah's face slamming into the building, Amber being flung across to nearly fall off. Topher, Alejandro and Sammy landing next to each other, and Jo's back hitting against the building.
Sammy plugged her ears. "It's gonna blow!"
The focus shifted to the bottom of the water tower where all the explosives lay. The fuse reached its end…and snuffed out in a puff of smoke.
"He was faking us out again?!" Gwen yelled, the focus moving out to show all the contestants had righted themselves.
"Isn't psychological torture fun?" Noah deadpanned.
"As if we have the budget to blow up an entire building!" Chris explained as the focus moved right to show him leaning against something covered in a green tarp. "I was just playing with ya! Again. Because I can,"
"I'm going to develop ulcers with this kind of stress!" Amber snapped.
"You mean you haven't already?" Topher smirked.
"Okay, kiddies!" Chris said. "Time for the next super-sleuth challenge!" He removed the green tarp he'd been leaning against to reveal eight identical oil drums with wires and an LCD timer. "In front of you, you will see eight bombs. You will have to deactivate the bombs with only the tools you got from the last challenge – the wire cutters. Oh, wait!" Chris gasped as though just remembering. "Wasn't Jo the only one who got the wire cutters?"
The jockette smugly clipped the wire cutters as everyone glared at her.
Chris chuckled. " Well, I guess everybody else will just have to find their own way of cuttin' the wires. Sucks to be you! Any questions?"
"Do we have any instructions?" Amber asked.
"Why should we believe you actually gave us a way to defuse these bombs?" Alejandro asked.
"We're not actually in danger of dying right?" Sammy asked nervously.
"Are you mental?" Noah smirked.
"Cool, if there are no questions, then what are we waiting for?" The host said as he moved several feet away. "Oh yeah! A one more thing! Those barrels are filled with the most stinky, the most noxious substances known to human kind! Yeah, that's right, we're talking major stinkbombs."
"Can't stink more than your acting." Duncan smirked.
"Yo chef!" Chris called, ignoring Duncan's comment as the cook arrived on a lift, he had a red and white sweatband and tennis shirt and shorts. He was holding a red racket. He looked annoyed as he joined the Host on the roof.
"Why can't you handle this?" The cook grumped, flipping a switch on one of the bombs to set them all off. He joined Chris on the lift. As they descended from the building the host continued. ""Good luck, 'cause this time, you're really gonna need it."
The eight contestants were now each behind one of the bombs. The Focus began with the far right where Gwen is standing. "Okay, we have three wires. Red, yellow and blue." She turned to Duncan. "Any idea how to defuse this thing? I assume you have experience with stink bombs?"
"Sure the small kind, besides I set them off, I don't defuse them." Duncan said.
Then the focus moved to Topher, Amber, and Alejandro. "I have to defuse this thing. Who knows what that stink could do to my hair?"
"Nothing you haven't done to it yourself." The bookworm smirked.
"We need to focus." Alejandro told them before Topher could retort.
"But what wire do we cut? Or what if it's a combination of wires?" Sammy asked, from beside Alejandro.
Finally the focus was on Noah and Jo. "Scrawny, you got any ideas on how to defuse this thing?"
"Maybe, but I won't share them with you. You tried to extort money from me!" Noah snapped.
"I'll share my wire cutters." Jo offered.
"Deal." Noah said.
The focus moved back to Gwen. "Okay usually in movies cutting the red wire sets the bomb off, since this is Chris, maybe it defuses it instead. As some kind of attempt at irony?"
"Better than any idea I have." Duncan nodded, handing her his knife. Gwen cut the red wire and her timer stopped.
"Yes!" The goth cheered, hugging Duncan close.
"Pasty not that I mind, but I need to defuse mine now." The punk pointed out.
"Right," she said, handing him back his knife which Duncan used to cut his wire.
The Focus moved left to Amber, Topher, Sammy, and Alejandro. "Okay so we cut the red wire?" Sammy asked.
"I don't know, it seems too easy." Amber frowned.
"Besides, if I know Chris, he's not gonna give us all the same solution." Topher said.
"Perhaps we should try it and see if our bombs stop counting down? " Alejandro suggested.
"What if that sets them off?" Topher asked.
"Amigo, they are going off in less than a minute anyway." The Spaniard pointed out.
"Okay, but how do we cut them?" Sammy frowned.
"I have my library card in my pocket." Amber said pulling it out. "Maybe with enough pressure the edge will cut it." The bookworm tried it and the wire broke. She handed her card to Sammy who did the same. Alejandro tore his wire in half, and Topher pulled out a pair of nail clippers and cut it with them. All four looked at their bombs. They were still counting down.
"No dice! And we have thirty seconds left!" Sammy cried.
"We may as well try randomly then." Topher decided.
The focus returned to Jo and Noah. "Okay I'm pretty sure I've got it."
"Great, you try it first." Jo said handing the wire cutters to him. Noah snipped all three of his wires. His bomb stopped. "Sweet! Now let me!" Jo cut all three of her wires and her bomb stopped too.
The focus shifted back to Gwen and Duncan. "We did it! Take that Chris!" Duncan Cheered.
Gwen's eyes widened. "Duncan your bomb's still counting down!"
Duncan's eyes shot open. "Crud."
The focus moved to a hill somewhere else on the film lot. In the background a huge gaseous orange cloud rose over it prompting coughing. The focus moved left over a set of standing lights to show Chris was sitting in his director chair and sipping his tea. "What?Obviously we're not gonna wire each bomb exactly the same way, That would be way too easy for our production crew! And no fun for me!" The host laughed.
/
A squirrel is sitting on the branch of a tree holding an acorn with a noxious smell line reaches it. It falls off the branch over the trailer roof and into a pool of tomato soup where we can see Duncan, Gwen, and Sammy standing. The goth chuckled. "This sucks, but at least we're in this together."
"Speaking of together, I've been thinking it over and we make a great team. So I was wondering if you'd be my girl?" Duncan asked.
"Yes! A thousand times yes!" The goth cheered, kissing the punk happily in spite of the stink.
"It's about time." The focus moved out to show all eight contestants in the tomato soup bath. The speaker is Topher. "Seriously much longer and the audience would have gotten bored."
"I smell so bad." Sammy sighed.
"Look on the right side Amiga, tomatoes are good for the complexion." Alejandro said.
As Chef passed he said. "Glad you like it, cause it's also dinner." He tossed several straws into the soup. Amber, Jo, and Noah picked them up.
"So Scrawny, how'd you figure out what we needed to do to defuse our bombs?" Jo asked.
"Simple, knowing the production crew is overworked, I figured they'd take any shortcuts the could. Like not setting any of the wires to explode the bomb upon breaking. So we could cut all three wires without fear of consequence, guaranteeing we'd disable them." Noah explained.
"I'm not gonna pretend to understand that, just glad it worked." The jockette said.
"Everybody having fun yet?" Chris asked as he arrived, wearing a gas mask. "Jo and Gwen as the winners of our first and second challenge-"
"I defused my bomb too!" Noah protested.
"Gwen did it first, no prize for second place Noah." Chris taunted. The cynic folded his arms.
"Anyway, " The host continued. "Gwen and Jo you get the reward. An all-expense paid trip to..."
"Mexico, America, Iceland?" Jo asked randomly.
"The London torture museum?" Gwen asked. Everyone gave her an odd look "What?"
"Nice try but no." Chris said. "It's an all-expense paid trip to...a local cheese factory!
Gwen rolled her eyes but Jo seemed fine with it. "While on tour," the host continued "You'll get to sample all the cheeses of the world! From blue cheese, to green cheese, to head cheese, which isn't technically a cheese, but reeks just the same!"
"Hey Pasty you gotta bring me back some jalapeno cheddar." Duncan asked.
"Sure." Gwen said.
"So how long do we have to stay in this bath?" Noah asked.
"Oh I'd say twelve hours will do." Chris said as he walked off.
/
Chris is taking off his gas mask as he begins to wrap up the episode. "Teams are no more. Let's see how these stinkers do on their own,next time, on Total! Drama! Action!" Just before the episode ended, the white cat from earlier attacked Chris' face yet again.
A/N: Gwuncan is finally together, the Gaffers have decided to remain a team, Jo and Noah have teamed up. Noah loses out on the prize just because Gwen solved it first. This episode is so fun, in fact I find most post merge episodes really fun.
I know in the canon episode there's a parody of the 6teen opening. I didn't want to rewrite it and aside from a fun reference it doesn't add anything. So I skipped it. Anyway see you next time!