With respect to the reviewers:
Gucci Mane LaFlare: Yeah I really enjoyed writing Anne Maria hosting.
Crosshot: I'm hoping Amy has developed from her friendship with Noah. I'm trying to send bits of development her way without it seeming too hamfisted.
The recap begins with the usual distance shot of the film lot. "Last time on Total Drama Action." The silhouette of Chris in the BatPerson costume swung out of the shadows and rescued Chef in his dress, just before the bungee snapped, the scene shifted. Jo and Gwen are shown fighting over a bolt of spandex, then Alejandro being electrocuted by the sewing machine, Pythonicus dropping a red piece of fabric on to Amber's costume, and Gwen's cat fur boa being shredded. This is followed by Jo posing in her costume, an assortment of spandex bolts in various colors, a dump truck dumping junk nearby, and Noah sleepily showing off his costume. "Just when the cast thought they were safe, I swung in to surprise, I mean antagonize them. The cast were forced to use their creative sides, while showing off their backsides. As they made superhero costumes out of Spandex, and some other junk." The hist laughed. " Nice tights!"
Pythonicus and Dander boy are shown against a green streaked background. Then Alejandro dodging the bowling balls on the powerlines, Noah flying right through the window of the fake burning building, Sammy's foot catching as she tried to jump over the building cutout, and both Amber and Topher falling off the wires. "Of course they were foiled at every turn by the diabolical Pythonicus, super evil alter ego of the villainous Chef. In a fight against evil the cast proved they could be heroes, and losers!" Jo is shown talking to Amber and Sammy, then talking to an irate Noah. Duncan and Gwen's tearful goodbye is shown. "In the end the most diabolical of them all was Jo, who conspired to separate a newly dating Duncan and Gwen."
Chris is shown in the security room. He pressed a button and Jo popped up on the screen, Then a flash transition took the host to the trailers to close out the recap. "What will Gwen do without her biggest ally? What will Jo's next move be? Maybe you'll find out right now, maybe you won't on another totally dramatic episode of Total. Drama. Action!"
(intro)
{A standing light pops up on a set with skyscrapers in the background. A hanging light swoops in front of a set with houses in the background, then a camera pops out of a sewer with a rat on it, and another camera pops out of a hole in a tree scaring the raccoon inside. A masculine hand raises up a clapboard and sets it off.}
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;
{The camera's point of view shows a film lot with the two trailers, city background, water tower, and fake hill. Chris drives by in a golf cart, and the camera flies through to the warehouses as crew members push a couple backdrops through, follows by the costume rack. )
You guys are on my mind!
{The camera goes up the fake hill and down into a small pool where Jo is swimming, a shark is behind her. Jo notices it and turns around to punch it in the nose.)
Ya asked me what I wanted to be,
And now I think the answer is plain to see!
(The camera moves out of the water to show Scott on a surfboard held up by machinery. He desperately tries to dodge several seagulls being shot at him. One finally hits him and he falls over.)
I wanna be...famous!
(The camera moves left to show Duncan as the one shooting the gulls from a gull cannon with Gwen right beside, laughing along with him. Duncan turns and Gwen looks at her feet, rubbing her left arm nervously. The camera moves on to show the sastchwawanakwa in a pink dress, matching boa, and straw hat. The door slides open and the camera goes through)
I wanna live close to the sun!
(A beach set is shown with Alejandro and Amber lounging on a beach chair together, a shark sits in a beach chair to either side of them wearing sunglasses.)
Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!
(Topher is shown in the make-up confessional having it applied. A hand sprays something in his eye accidentally)
Everythin' to prove, nothin' in my way;
(Trent and Amy are standing on rock pillars with padded poles. Amy hits Trent several times before he hits her back sending some of her hair down.)
I'll get there one day.
(The hair lands in a pot of sludge Chef is cooking. He shrugs and turns to Sammy who looks nervous but determinedly back at him.)
'Cause I wanna be...famous!
(Harold and Ellody are shown standing in front of a set of screens in the security room. Harold presses a random button and causes an explosion. )
(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
(We focus in on one screen where a grizzly bear is growling towards Ella. The princess wannabe smiles at him sweetly, the bear smiles back and the two dance. )
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (N a-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
(They dance their way past the lame-o-sine and the back window lowers to show Noah and Crimson inside. The camera continues through the window as camera flashes go off. Chris is shown standing at a podium in a powder blue tux. He opens an envelope.)
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
(The scene moves out to show Chef is in a sparkly hot pink dress and matching Chef's hat, along with sliver earrings and necklace. Chris looks a little weirded out. The camera moves back through a large screen then pans down to Geoff and Kitty sitting on a couch about to make out.)
*The sound of the theme being whistled goes through the air *
(They notice the camera and decide not to kiss, the scene moves back to show a small studio with two couches to either side of the one the couple is sitting at. The rest of the cast in sitting on them as the large screen above flashes to the Total Drama action logo. )
(end of intro)
The episode proper begins with everyone in the mess hall. The focus is placed on Gwen and Sammy first. The goth is still upset. "Sorry Gwen, but my alliance was voting for Duncan." Sammy said.
The goth glared. "Yeah, and you're in an alliance with Alejandro! You should know that's a bad idea!"
"Alejandro's been nothing but helpful to me." the twin said.
"For now! Once he doesn't need you any more he'll drop you!" Gwen said. "You really think he's gonna keep you over Amber and Topher? As soon as everyone else is out of the way your alliance will have no choice but to vote out one of their own."
Sammy frowned. "But at that point we'd be in the final four so..."
"Ugh, why am I even talking to you! You clearly won't listen to reason!" Gwen huffed. moving to the other end of the table.
Sammy sighed and glanced towards Alejandro, who was currently flirting with Amber. "I don't care what Chris said, that spandex highlighted your form perfectly."
"Really? You're not just saying that?" Amber asked.
"You should know by now that I mean every compliment, I give you." The Spaniard said.
"It's a little hard when you flatter people so much. I suppose you've meant every compliment you've given Topher?" Amber huffed.
Alejandro glanced over at Topher who was nearby. He lowered his voice. "Chica, you know I'm just using him. I'm doing this to help us get further in the game."
"Sure, but that doesn't make me feel better about it." The bookworm said.
Alejandro kissed her. "Chica I assure you; you are the only person I truly care about. I promise I will do all in my power to show you that."
Amber sighed. "We'll see."
The focus moved to Topher as he frowned and stood up. Then it shifted over to the other table where Jo is sitting looking at her PDA. She sets it down and calls out. "Hey Topher, you wanna come over here?"
The blonde walked over to sit across from Jo. "What do you want?"
"Listen, I've been watching you, and you deserve better." The jockette said.
"Tell me something I don't know.": Topher said.
"I'm serious Topher. I don't know what connection Tweedle Dumb has with Al, but between that and his relationship with Amber, its only a matter of time until Al votes you out." Jo warned.
"I know that, but what am I supposed to do about it? Amber's got her hooks so deep into Alejandro nothing I've tried has loosened them." Topher sighed.
"True, but what if I helped you get rid of her?" Jo asked. "Then you'd have Al to yourself, and you might stand a chance."
"Are you suggesting I betray Alejandro's trust? And what do you mean a chance?!" Topher said.
"You know exactly what chance I'm talking about. Besides I know you've voted against your alliance before," Jo accused.
Topher's eyes widened and he whispered. "First off, no I don't, Secondly Not so loud. I'll think about it okay?"
The focus moved to the other end of the table where Noah is sitting.
(Confessional)
Noah: Okay, so Jo's going after Alejandro's alliance. Makes sense, but I can't help but notice she didn't reach out to Topher until after her PDA went off.
Static
Chef stepped into the mess all in a purple, maroon, and black bard outfit, complete with tights and a feathered cap. He blew into a long trumpet with a maroon banner hanging from it. In the center of the banner was a shield in purple and black split diagonally down the middle. "Hear ye and rise for Sir Chris!"
"Sir? Like Chris' ego needs encouragement." Noah deadpanned.
Chris rode in on the horse from the western episode wearing a knight's helmet with a red crest. Chef set down a small red carpet which Chris leaped upon, holding a glass boot in his hands.
Gwen groaned. "Oh no, today's challenge is a fairy tale movie." Amber and Jo also groaned at this.
"Gwen dude you steal my intro again I'll have to personally boot you off the show." Chris said.
"it's not that I mind fairy tales it's that we're going to be doing the watered down versions of them." Amber sighed.
"Trust me, I'd love to put you through an old style fairy tale, but even my lawyers couldn't get permission to do some of the things in those." Chris said. "Anyway the glass boot will determine the princess for today's fairy tale movie challenge." The contestants are all shown, none of them looking too excited save Alejandro and Sammy. "The rest of you compete for the honor of rescuing the fair princess."
"I'd be more than willing to rescue any of you fair ladies." Alejandro said with a sparkling smile.
"Yep, and all four of the girls will get to try." Chris said.
(Confessional)
Jo: If McLame thinks he can put me in a dress he has another thing coming.
Static
Jo scoffed. "I'll pass. I don't think that thing will fit me anyway."
"Fair point. Gwen?" Chris said offering the shoe.
"Can I pass too?" Gwen asked.
"No," Chris said.
Gwen took her long combat boot off. "Fine, it's not like my foot will fit anyway. It looks like it could be in the kid's section."
"What can I say? Princesses are supposed to have dainty feet. " The host explained. The focus shifted to the other contestants wincing as Chris tried to jam the boot on Gwen's foot.
"I don't think she's trying that hard." Sammy said.
"I wouldn't either." Amber scoffed.
"Well it doesn't seem to fit Gwen. Amber?" Chris asked.
"Can't Sammy try first?" Amber asked.
"We're going by where you placed the last challenge. Since you and Sammy both lost, we're going in alphabetical order. " The host smirked.
Reluctantly Amber sat down and took off her flats. Chris moved to place the boot on but it wasn't going. "Oh, guess it doesn't fit." Amber smiled. Chris pointed at her foot which is shown to be stiffened at an angle that wouldn't allow the boot to slide on. "Oh." Amber sighed, loosening her foot. The boot slid on easily. "Curse my small feet!"
"I think we found our princess. Oh Chef? " Chris called.
Chef arrived wearing a blue tutu with matching slippers, a pair of wings on his back, and a wand in hand. "I dub thee princess Amber." The cook said hitting her with the wands and making the air fill with dust, making everyone cough.
"I kind of wanted to be the Princess." Sammy sighed.
"Trust me, if Chris would let me you could have it. " Amber said.
Alejandro smirked. "Are you certain? After all, I will be fighting for your hand."
Amber blushed heavily. Topher frowned.
(Confessional)
Topher: Great, like Alejandro needs more excuses to flirt with Amber. Of course, it will mean they're apart for a lot of the challenge... Maybe I can win him over!
Static
Chris' face and a thick red book are shown over a yellow background. "It's story time with Uncle Chris." Chris is now holding the book in his hands and sitting in a tall purple armchair. The focus moved out to show Chris was on a moving set which included a fake stone fireplace, a round side table, and a red rug. "Once upon a time, six brave knights went on a quest to rescue a princess from her ivory tower. but it wasn't gonna be easy. "
Chris gestured to his left and the focus moved to show Chef had now donned a gray green wig and beard along with some worn gray pants and a worn blue vest. As Chris continued, Chef used a makeup marker to finish coloring his teeth in. The focus moved out again to show he was guarding a rickety old bridge across a fake waterfall. "First the knights had to get past my good friend, the terrible toothless troll and his bridge of bad breaks!"
"To get past the terrible toothless troll the knights had to wear disguises." As the host continued he threw an accessory at each of the 'knights. "There was the frog prince." Alejandro caught a heavy helmet that looked like a frog's head. "The ugly stepsister," A curly red wig was thrown Sammy's way. "Sleeping beauty," A pink sleep mask was thrown at Topher, "One of her seven dwarves." A large wizard's hat was thrown to Noah. "Goldilocks." Chris laughed as he threw a long blonde wig at Gwen, and little red riding hood." He threw a red hood to Jo.
"Really? I have to wear this cape?" Jo complained.
:"Yes, that's what it says in the script." Chris said as a hand placed a plate of chocolate chip cookies and milk on the side table. "Good work kid." The host said as an aside. "And so, the ugly stepsister approached the terrible troll."
"But I can't see!" Sammy said, she was now wearing the curly wig, which covered her eyes.
"Oh yeah, for this challenge, each knight is blindfolded." Chris said. Everyone began to argue but Chris cut them off. "Nowhere in the script does it say the cowardly knights complained! So get it together stepy and get crossing."
/
Sammy is now on the edge of the bridge. She begins to sidle along it. "Okay. I can do this, just put one foot in front of the other." A red apple hit Sammy in the face followed by two more. "Ow! what hit me?"
"Wicked witches apples so they're poisonous and rotten, you might want to watch it." Chris warned.
Sadly being unable to see Sammy slipped on the apples and fell from the bridge.
(Confessional)
Sammy: (Her head is bandaged.) Oh it's not so bad. Amy's tripped me down the stairs tons of times. You just have to ride it out.
Static
The rest of the 'knights' are lined up to cross the bridge. "Next was sleeping beauty, who grabbed a fistful of courage and crossed the bridge." Chris said.
Topher is now wearing the sleep mask and began to run towards Chef. "This is for my fans!" Chef ran to grab Topher only for him to duck under the cook's arm and run right past him.
/
Alejandro put on his helmet and began to run.
(Confessional)
Alejandro: Chef is a strong opponent so I did what I always do when faced with strength greater than or equal to my own. I used my head.
Static.
Alejandro lowered his head and used the helmet to headbutt Chef out of his way. Making it to the other side of the Bridge.
/
Gwen is on the bridge wearing her blonde wig which had long bangs that covered her eyes. She started across when the focus shifted to Chef, who was holding a fake goose with a blue bonnet on it. He squeezed and a golden egg shot out of it, just missing the goth. "Ah! What are you shooting at me?!"
Gwen continued forward with Chef continuing to shoot multiple golden eggs at her. She managed to dodge some, but not all of them. Eventually she got hit and stomped the bridge in anger. Her eyes widened and she heard the boards crack. "Uh oh." The bridge broke out from underneath her "I shouldn't have done that!" A crash is heard off screen.
Chris laughed. "Awesome! You're up dwarfy."
Noah sighed and put his hat on. The he stepped on to the bridge. "Hey Troll, is that the scent of rotten fruit or is that just you?"
Chef looked upset but said nothing, moving instead to tackle Noah. At the last second Noah took one step to his right and Chef slammed into one of the poles keeping the bridge up. Noah quietly walked across why Chef was dazed.
(Confessional)
Noah: Sometimes Brain really is better than brawn.
static
"The final knight attempting to enter fairy tale land is little red riding hood." Chris said, the focus moved up to show Jo with her back facing the bridge tying a blindfold around his head. "Ahm, we're over here!"
Jo turned around and a close up of her face showed that one of her eyes wasn't completely covered. "Nice I can see. Seeing Chef wearing a blonde wig with braids is even better." The focus showed that Chef was putting the mentioned wig on over the rest of his troll costume.
"Rapunzel let down your hair dude!" Chris called. Up on the bridge Chef began to twirl one of the long braids like a rope. He swung it at Jo who ducked. The focus moved down to Noah walking down the stairs he looked up and the focus zoomed in on Jo's face showing the lopsidedly tied blindfold that left one of her eyes uncovered.
"Jo can see?!" Noah gasped.
"How?" Chris asked as the focus shifted down to him. 'With her X-Ray vision? That'd be cool."
Chef was once again swinging one of the braids, he launched it towards Jo, Who used it to swing right into Chef's face, sending the cook to the bridge. He groaned as Jo ran past him.
/
Chris is shown reading the book. "And so the terrible toothless troll knocked down two losers." The focus moved out to show Gwen and Sammy. Gwen's right arm is bandaged, and Sammy's head is bandaged, but they seem okay. "But four semi brave knights made it to the other side and continued on their noble quest. " The focus shifted right to show Noah, Topher, Alejandro, and Jo.
"Whereupon I," Chris continued, placing a hand to his chest as the focus shifted back to him. "Inspired them with a vision of Princess Amber."
The focus moved out to show everyone was now gathered around a stage with a purple tinted forest backdrop. Music began to play as Amber, now with her hair out of the braids revealing it went to the bottom of her back, wearing a tiara, a red princess gown and matching elbow length gloves, was lowered to the stage by two wires. The bookworm sighed annoyedly then began. "When I was a little girl, I'd dream of my first kiss, it would come from my perfect prince!" Two bunnies, a squirrel, surrounded her, and a couple birds landed on her outstretched hands. "And in my dream, it went just like this."
The focus moved to Alejandro and Topher. The former is looking at the stage with a smile on his face, his eyes wide, the latter looks put out. "Wow, I had no idea Amber could sing."
"It's probably not even her, lip syncing is a thing you know." Topher huffed.
"I do not believe that is the case." Alejandro said.
"It's not even that good. I mean it's not projecting at all, and the quality of her voice is average at best." Topher protested.
"I mean true." Noah said. "But average is pretty good for Reality TV standards."
"I find her voice enchanting." Alejandro sighed.
Topher looked affronted. "I could sing too, you know."
"And I'm sure it would be lovely." The Spaniard replied.
Jo, who was right beside Topher, whispered. "Remember my offer from earlier?"
Topher's eyes narrowed. "Yes I do."
Chris popped up between them. "Ooh, sounds like things are getting interesting! Will Jo succeed? Will Topher's jealousy get the better of him? Find out when we come back."
/
A distance shot of Amber singing on stage is shown before the focus moves in on Amber as she continues singing. "My prince will be tall and handsome," The focus moved out to show the four knights watching. Alejandro straightens proudly at this claim. Next to him Topher was pouting. "My prince will be tough as nails," Alejandro cracks a walnut with his biceps, waving his eyebrows suggestively at Amber.
"My prince will have lots of money," The focus moved in on Amber as she flung a bunch of 'money' out her hands. Her voice is a little unsteady and her face is red. "My prince will tame wild whales," The focus moves back to Alejandro who has somehow gotten hold of a small baleen whale and is patting it on the head fondly causing said whale to blush.
The focus shifted to Gwen and Sammy watching the performance. "Amber's so lucky, she gets to wear such a pretty dress." The twin sighed.
"Alejandro's laying it on a little thick, don't you think? Also I had no idea whales could blush." Gwen said.
The focus shifted to a frog with a little crown on it sitting on a rock. Two red gloved hands pick up the frog and the focus moves out to show a close up of Amber. "When we kiss, my prince will be you!" Looking reluctant, Amber kissed the frog, then threw it across the stage.
"Chris, I swear if I get lip warts I will destroy you." Amber glared.
"And I will take great pleasure in watching you do so." Alejandro smirked.
The focus shifted to Chris on his moving set as he said. "Wasn't that song brilliant? It was so brilliant I know everyone wishes they could hear it over and over again, and now they can." Chris snapped his fingers and a cd case featuring princess Amber on a red background as placed in his hand.
"Relive the magic of Amber for only 12.99 call 555-SELL OUT to get your authentic princess Amber CD before everyone else downloads it illegally." Chris said.
"I'll take it." Amber said, and Chris threw it to her. "I have plans for this."
(confessional)
Amber: (Holding the CD) As soon as I can get my hands on a lighter I will burn this CD. Literally. That song is awful, have you ever heard such generic drivel? Though I don't know what I expected from the writers of this show.
Static
Alejandro is kneeling before the stage with Amber's outstretched hand in his own. "It will be my honor to serve you Mi princesa. I would do anything to see your beautiful face." He kissed her hand.
"Alejandro," Amber blushed, then she glanced at Topher who remained huffy. She smirked. "Why thank you sir Alejandro, it's nice to have such an esteemed knight at my service."
"If you ask me, he's the one who should be served." The blonde said.
"Aw, what sweet moment." Noah said in a saccharine tone, "It makes me want to vomit."
"You're not the only one." Jo agreed.
The focus shifted to show Chef, still in the troll costume riding in on the horse from earlier, then to Gwen and Sammy on the moving set. "I feel really bad for that horse." Sammy said.
"Yeah having to carry Chef must be painful, not to mention having to deal with Chris." Gwen said.
The focus shifted to show Amber was now on the horse with Chef. "So do we rescue her yet?" Jo asked.
"No, it's a classic princess abduction." Chris explained. "As the villain makes a whirlwind getaway on a swift steed."
Chef kicked the horse twice. It remained where it was. "Guess old betsy here didn't read the script. "
"Kick harder!" Chris ordered. Chef did so and the horse kicked it's hind legs, right into Noah's balls. The cynic fell over with a high pitched groan. The focus shifted back to Chris who was wincing. :You hate to see it." He began to read the book again. "So that's how the four knight dudes lost the princess. But fate aka me wasn't finished with them. He gestured to the four remaining contestants as Chef and Amber rode past in the background. "They followed the troll to a fight to the death, because that's how I like my princesses saved."
The focus shifted to Chef and Amber on the horse. "Fare Thee Well Sir Alejandro, know that my heart is always with you!" Amber called.
"For someone who didn't want to be the Princess she's sure getting into her role." Jo scoffed.
"Part of its because Alejandro is a knight," Noah began as he got to his feet. .
"Never fear mi princesa, I shall not rest until you are safe in my arms once more!" Alejandro vowed.
"The other part is to get Topher's goat." The cynic finished. The focus shifted to the blonde in question, who was gritting his teeth.
(confessional)
Topher:Okay, its bad enough when they flirt normally, but with the encouragement of roleplay? Ugh, I don't even know why I'm so upset about it. (A hand gives Topher a note. He reads it.) Topher, just admit it already? (He turns towards where the hand was previously.) Who wrote this?
Static
The horse is shown chewing grass before the focus moved out and to the right to reveal a White wooden cut out of a castle entrance as all four remaining contestants approached with Chris and the two failures on the moving set behind them. "Sir Alejandro, Sir Topher, Sir Jo, and Sir Noah reached the ivory tower in which the troll had stuck the princess." Chris read. The focus moved up to show several more cutouts in the style of a castle roof leading to the water tower which had been painted white, with the roof now red.
"But there was only one way to rescue her." Chris continued as the focus shifted to him. " One of the knights would have to slay the dragon!"
The focus moved to Sammy and Gwen. "A dragon?! How did you get a dragon?" Sammy asked.
"It's probably just chef with wings strapped to his back." Gwen quipped.
"Actually, we're reusing the alien monster guy." Chris said. The focus moved out to show Chef, now in a mocap suit, controlling the monster from episode one, now with slightly darker clawed feet, and a green hood with horns on top and two purple wings to either side of his head.
Chris, now with four wooden swords in his hands, proclaimed, "Let the dragon slaying begin!" He threw the swords to the four knights. Alejandro,and Jo caught theirs, Topher fumbled his but did get a grip, and Noah's hit him in the forehead.
"I wish you good fortune brave knights! Especially you Sir Alejandro." Amber said, blowing the Spaniard a kiss.
Alejandro caught the kiss and smirked. "You're in good hands mi princesa, I shall rescue you!"
"Yeah right, I might not care about braids but immunity is riding on this." Jo said.
"I would never allow uncouth cur to lay hands on her!" Alejandro glared.
"You're getting way too into this Al!" Jo smirked, swinging her sword towards him. Alejandro blocked the blow and a shadow fell over them. They both dove out of the way, Jo to the right, Alejandro to the left.
Jo landed next to Noah. "Hey scrawny, you got any ideas on how to take this thing down?"
"Why would I tell you?" Noah asked.
"Because we both know you're not gonna be able to slay it and if I don't win Al probably will?" Jo pointed out.
"Fine, remember how Duncan stabbed it in the arm? Knowing Chris, they probably cheaped out on the repairs. If you can hit that spot," Noah pointed to a part on the monster's arm with a bad patch job and a few wires sticking out of it. "it should take the dragon out of commission long enough to hit it's center of operation." Noah explained.
"Which is?" Jo asked.
"The red bit just below it's head." The cynic said.
"Got it." Jo jumped out in front of the dragon, which Alejandro was fighting with little luck. "Hey Scaley, bet you can't get me!"
The Dragon's claw headed straight for Jo, who dodged out of the way and jumped on it's arm before stabbing through the poor patch job on it. The dragon began to short out and fell to the ground, knocking Alejandro to the ground.. "And now to end this!" Jo declared running straight for the red spot Noah had pointed out. Before she could plunge her sword in, Topher jumped on her back. "Hey, what's the big idea?!" She complained trying to get him off.
"Alejandro, I've got her distracted, kill the dragon!" Topher called.
Alejandro got to his feet and ran up the dragon's back, plunging his sword into the dragon's center of operations. The dragon shut down and Alejandro called up. "Amber, your prince will be there shortly!"
"Yeah, get immunity Alejandro!" Topher called.
Chris arrived on the moving set. "Wanna rescue princess Amber too? Now you can for only 79.95!" The host pulled out a red box with a single wide diagonal yellow stripe across it. Inside was a rag doll that looked vaguely like Amber. "Order your very own Princess Amber limited edition glass boot doll! Playing with the Princess doll is more fun and less boring than playing with the real Amber, guaranteed." Chris flashed a smile at the camera.
The focus moved up to Amber at the top of the tower as Alejandro finally finished climbing up to her. "Mi princesa." Alejandro said, Amber smiled and the two leaned in for a kiss.
"Wait, wait there's no kissing." Chris said with a finger wag.
"Excuse me?" Alejandro said, raising an unamused brow.
"It says here that Princess Amber and Prince Alejandro must sword fight to determine the true winner." Chris said.
"So whoever wins the swordfight gets immunity?" Amber asked.
"You catch on quick." The host said.
"But don't most princess stories end with a kiss?" Sammy asked.
"Well Sammy this is a modern tale. Gal's have to fight for themselves." Chris replied.
"Perfect! Alejandro, all you have to do is strike Amber down and you'll win!" Topher called up. Alejandro frowned. "Come on! Forget her, she's only holding you back!" The blonde continued.
The Spaniard glanced at the sword, then at Amber and smiled. He lay the blade across the palms of his hands and presented the sword to Amber. "What are you doing?" Amber asked.
"I betrayed you last season, and that is something I've always regretted. So this time I refuse, you may strike me down and claim immunity as your own." Alejandro explained.
"What?! Alejandro are you serious?! I didn't help you win so you could give away your immunity!" Topher protested.
Amber sighed. "Alejandro, if you don't take immunity Jo will almost certainly target you."
Alejandro nodded. "And that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make."
"If that's what it takes." Amber picked up the sword, raised it above her head, plunged it down…and right past Alejandro to rest in her armpit. She coughed.
"Amber, what are you?!" Alejandro asked.
"I'm sorry, but I couldn't let you do it." The bookworm pretended to gasp out, before falling backward as though about to plummet from the tower.
"Mi princesa?! No!" Alejandro managed to catch her hand before she fell.
The focus moved down to Chris who smirked. "And so the fair princess sacrificed herself for her true love. Alejandro gets immunity!"
"What? But Amber hasn't lost yet?!" Alejandro protested.
"I'd say martyring yourself counts as losing." Chris decided.
The focus moved to the left where Topher was seething.
/
Jo, Noah, and Gwen were all gathered outside the trailers. "Why are we here?" The goth asked.
"Simple, Alejandro's got a four person alliance. We can't let that go, so I'm here to ask you to vote for braids." Jo said.
"Amber's my friend." Gwen protested.
"And she voted your boyfriend out remember?" The jockette pointed out.
"But why Amber?" the goth asked.
"Because that will hurt Alejandro the most." Noah nodded.
Gwen sighed. "Okay, but even if we all vote for Amber that's not enough to beat Alejandro's four."
Jo smirked. "Don't worry about that. I've got the fourth vote taken care of."
/
The stage with the two giant Chris statues is shown as spotlights wave in front of it. A series of clips featuring Chris from last season ,several of them just him talking, roll over the screen in two parallel lines, a vertical line of clips include one where Chris is dress as a pirate rolls down between them, as two more clips, one of Chris in a helicopter and one of him with a clapboard, move out to either side, the focus zooms out to show a giant gilded Chris as fireworks go for in the background.
The amphitheater is shown, with the contestants sitting on their wooden benches with the voting devices in hand. Chris stood at the podium clad in his usual blue tux for the ceremony. "So with immunity, Alejandro is the first to win a golden Chris." The Spaniard caught his prize, next to him is the princess Amber doll still in the box. "Topher, you also get a gilded Chris, you live another week." Topher caught his own gilded Chris. "Also still in the competition, Noah, Gwen, and Sammy." The cynic, goth, and cheerleader caught their prizes. The focus shifted to Alejandro who's eyes widen as he realizes who's left.
Two spotlight land on Amber and Jo both of whom are glaring at each other. "Who will live happily ever after, and who will die penniless? The last gilded Chris, goes to…" The focus shifted between the two girls as they stared each other down. "...
…
…
…
…Jo." Chris threw the final Chris to the smug jockette.
"We should have had the numbers advantage." Alejandro frowned. Then his eyes widened. "Topher! You voted for Amber!"
The blonde looked shocked. "What, me? How do you know it wasn't Sammy?"
"I know Sammy, Amber is her best friend. She would never betray her." Alejandro glared.
"You have no proof." Topher huffed.
(confessional)
Alejandro: I need no proof. Topher has made his jealousy of Amber apparent. I had thought he'd be smart enough to set that aside for the sake of an alliance that would take him to the end game. Apparently I was mistaken.
Static
Amber stood up. "I'll miss you," Sammy said, giving her a hug. She started down the bleachers.
"Amber?" The bookworm turned to Gwen. "Sorry about voting for you. It was my best choice strategically."
"I know, and I don't blame you." Amber said. As she reached the bottom of the bleachers she turned and hugged Alejandro. "I'm gonna miss you."
"And I you chica." Alejandro whispered. The held each other for a bit.
"Alright wrap it up, this is a half hour show!" Chris said.
Alejandro and Amber parted and gave each other a chaste kiss. As Amber moved to begin her walk of shame she called back. "Sammy, I need to talk to you."
The twin followed her to the Lame-o-sine. Amber turned to her with a sigh. "Listen, I want you to try and keep Alejandro from going full villain."
"Me? Why me?" Sammy asked.
"Because I won't be here, and you have some kind of connection with him. I'm not sure what that connection is, but it might be enough to help." Amber said.
"Well, I'll try." The twin said as Amber entered the lame-o-sine.
(Confessional)
Sammy: Amber's counting on me. (She swallowed) No pressure.
Static
Alejandro:( Holding a now unboxed princess Amber doll and stroking its hair, a menacing look in his eyes.) Don't worry Amber, I will avenge you.
Static
Chris is now in the security room holding two princess Amber dolls. "Marketing says our target audience is too old for dolls. They're just not selling."
The focus shifted right to show Chef had an army of Amber dolls all dressed in old army uniforms. "Princesses attack!" The cook pulled the string on a little cannon between the dolls shooting the other half off.
"Hey target audience," Chris began. "Can Sammy stop Alejandro from going evil? How much trouble is Topher in? And what's Jo's plans? Find out on the next kiss filled episode of Total Drama Action!" The host made the two princess Amber dolls kiss. "Now you see Chef? That's how you play with dolls."
A/N: This episode was hard. The contestant leaving switched from Jo to Topher, to Sammy to Topher, and eventually ended with Amber. The plot direction for the season was best with Amber leaving here. There are several reasons. First off one of the four alliance members had to leave. Secondly it furthers Topher's plot of trying to bring out the villain in Alejandro. Third it furthers the Sammy Alejandro plotline, Fourth it wraps up the Topher/Amber rivalry in a nice bow.
Finally, ever since I was still writing island and planning out Action's plotline, I wanted there to be a moment where Alejandro had to choose between Amber and immunity, with him ultimately choosing Amber after how he betrayed her last season. The confrontation at the top of the tower was the perfect place to do it.
I considered giving Sammy a concussion like Beth, but decided against it. I also considered having Noah tell Jo to do what Harold tells Justin in canon, but I like that I came up with my own thing better. Jo did the blindfold thing Duncan does, and Noah notices. It's because that's part of the Noah/Jo plotline.
As for why Amber is the Princess. It's for the rivalry plot sure, but Amber not wanting to be the princess but ending up with the role anyway, is a play on how in a lot of teen dramas the protagonist wants to be crowned prom queen. Sometimes they get crowned, but sometimes they don't and the protagonist decides they don't care because they won the boy and/or found their self worth.