The following day was mainly spent sleeping, and staring out of the window doing nothing. I lay in bed for hours, and hours, tossing and turning before eventually falling into a restless sleep. Victoria left at some point during the night, so silently she didn't wake me. I slept through the whole morning, flopping on my stomach and alternating between unconsciousness and looking blankly at the wall and my dream catcher.
Eventually, at one in the afternoon, Charlie came upstairs and told me it was time to get dressed and have some breakfast. So, with difficulty, I dragged myself out of bed and pulled on joggers and a jumper. I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and splash water on my face. There were dark circles growing under my eyes, but at least I was feeling fresher.
When I went downstairs, Charlie had a bowl of cereal out on the table for me.
"How are you feeling, Bella?" he asked softly.
I shrugged and sat down to eat. Charlie sat himself opposite me, watching my closely.
"Better," I said. At least I wasn't in shock anymore.
Charlie nodded. "That's good." He sighed. "I think you'd better go back to school tomorrow. Take your mind off things. And Bella, don't ignore your friends. I know you might want to withdraw, shrink away from them, but don't. They're the ones you need right now. Talk to them, go out with them. You'll have fun."
The thought of facing everyone made me feel sick. Angela, Jess, Mike, Eric, all of them. All the people I'd barely had time for since dating Edward. How do I make up for that?
"Okay," I said. Charlie was right, after all. I couldn't become a recluse again, after years of that in Arizona.
"You can do it, Bells," Charlie said. "You can face them."
Which is exactly what I chanted in my head as I pulled up to school the next morning. I opened the door of my truck and stepped out, doing my best to ignore the stares I got. It was like the first day all over again. I was something up for display, for everyone to look and make comments at.
There's Bella Swan, all plain and lonely like before.
Never was good enough for Edward.
It's no wonder he left.
No. I wasn't going to plague myself with thoughts of what people might say. I put my chin up, slammed the truck door, and raised an eyebrow at everyone staring. Charlie was right. I could do this.
"Hey, Bella." Angela came up beside me and gave a soft smile. "We- Jess and I- we heard about…" She lowered her voice. "Edward."
"I think the whole town's heard about Edward," I said, not bothering to keep quiet.
"That's true. But I wanted to see how you're doing."
By that point, Jess and Mike had reached us too.
"I've had better days," I said.
"So you've broken up?" Mike asked.
"Oh yes," I said. "Neither of us were keen on long distance." It wouldn't hurt to bend the truth a bit. "We cut off contact to make it a bit easier for us to move on."
It surprised me how easily I could pretend I was unbothered. Pretend as though Edward hadn't torn me apart with his words; hadn't upped and left after destroying me. Maybe it was James' words to me, back in the ballet studio that awful night. Perhaps I'd been unconsciously preparing for this day since my conversations with both him and Edward.
"If you need us, Bella, we're here." Angela's soft voice pulled me out of my musings. "Things won't be easy but you can talk to us about it."
I smiled at her, feeling warm from the care and genuine concern in Angela's voice. I really should have spent more time with my her. All of my friends, really, but especially her. She welcomed me happily but I left her behind as soon as Edward stepped into the picture.
"I'm sorry," I said, looking at each of my friends in turn. "For, you know, disregarding you, I suppose. I really am grateful for you and your friendship."
"Thank you," Angela said, before either Mike or Jess could say anything. "Don't beat yourself up about it. Of course, don't do it again. But focus on… you right now."
Looking at the ground, I gave a humourless chuckle. "I'm not sure how," I admitted. "I'm so confused… about everything."
"It's okay. You'll figure it out. And we'll be here to help you."
It was a relief that night to be able to spill out everything that happened to Victoria. To tell her every thought I had, every time the pain hit me, every pitying or smug look I received. It felt good to have someone who could know everything.
Which is why it hurt so much more when she told me that, just like Edward, she had to leave.
"I don't think it's good for you, Bella," she said. "Believe me, I want to help you, and that's why I'm leaving."
"How is that going to help me? You're leaving me with no one to talk to!"
"You have your friends," she reminded me. "Your human friends. They're the ones you need right now. I'm worried that by having me here, you'll never let go of Edward. I'm the one thing that ties you to him and his world, and I know how much you long for that connection to remain, but it can't. Not if you truly want to move on. And you must."
I stared at my duvet, blinking back tears. "Where are you going?"
Victoria hesitated. "Anywhere. We're moving on from here. We've left our mark; people are noticing our victims. There's a full investigation going, as I'm sure you know. Of course, we can evade the police. But… it's inconvenient. James and Laurent have already left. Actually, James has been gone since that night. It was too risky for him to stay here."
"Will I ever see you again?"
She gave me a sad smile. "Maybe. Like James said, if you're in danger then we'll be around." She looked around my room, eyes landing on the window. "I should go now."
"Wait!"
Victoria turned to me, questioningly. I gripped the duvet tightly, trying to sort out my thoughts.
"James said to me that- that Edward was a bad person. I just wondered what he's done."
"You're lucky," Victoria said, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. "Edward did you a huge favour, really, by leaving. Things are tidier that way. Because James has heard terrible things about Edward. It's said he's done to others what he's done to you."
My mouth fell open and I stared at her. I should have realised it, when he mentioned his 'other distractions'. It wasn't a leap to realise I may have been one of those many distractions.
"With- with human girls?"
"Yes. He's had some… fun before. Not all of them ended well. Not all of them are still alive."
"He drank from them?"
Victoria frowned at me. "Take a deep breath, Bella. Come on, have a bit of water." She handed me the glass of water on my bedside table. "Yes, from what we've heard, he did drink from them. He toyed with their feelings and once he was done with them, once the Cullens had to move on from the area, he'd kill them. Either that or leave without a word. You're lucky to be alive."
I'm not sure why I believed her so quickly. But James' words had stuck with me ever since he first planted that seed of doubt about Edward in my mind. I suppose I subconsciously knew that my relationship with Edward was far from the perfect fairytale I'd first believed it to be. It was just too easy to push those thoughts away when I had Edward's constant love and care, and more importantly, the validation I got from simply being with him.
"So he really hasn't found a mate yet?" I put the glass of water down with more ferocity than was necessary. A bit of water splashed over the sides, and Victoria quickly wiped it away with her sleeve.
"As far as I am aware, he hasn't." Victoria looked at me thoughtfully. "I'm surprised he didn't kill you, if I'm honest. Being his singer and all, I'm shocked that he was able to resist. Perhaps if was the thrill of it that kept you alive."
I felt sick. Repulsed and disgusted, I couldn't believe I had ever loved Edward.
"That's horrifying." I shuddered. "Here I am crying about how he's left me when he's done such horrific things."
"You couldn't have known. I didn't particularly want to tell you. I thought it might be a bit too terrifying to know how close to death you've really come."
"Why do you think he left?"
Victoria shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe he really did just get bored. But with any luck, he'll never be back. He'll stick to his promise and you'll never have to see him again."
"Like I'll never see you again?" I couldn't help but grasp Victoria's hands in some sort of feeble attempt to stop her leaving, thought I knew breaking free would pose no difficulty to her.
"I'm sorry, Bella. Really, I am. But it's better this way. You need to be able to move on with your life with no more reminders of vampires or Edward. Just never forget that if you're in danger from the Cullens again, we'll be here to help you. We'll find a way."
She pulled me close into a hug, and I took comfort from the icy hardness of her arms. This was goodbye, and as much as it hurt me to admit, she was right. I needed to let go.
"Thank you," I said, letting my tears flow. "Thank you for being here with me and telling me this. Pass on my thanks to James too, for opening my eyes up to what Edward is like. I- I really appreciate you both."
"Of course, Bella."
Victoria stood up and switched my lamp off. By the moonlight, I could see her push open my window, then turn to look at me.
"Good luck."
Then she was gone.