Chomusuke yawned and stretched a little after waking up on her bed, her claws embedding inside the bed as she did so.
The bed being Kazuma's back.
The human had been in a gloomy mood ever since he came back from the guild last night.
When she looked at his pillow, she could even see some liquid tears, probably.
Why was she a higher being sleeping here? Well, the human was alright in her books and gave her offerings so she thought she should bless him with her presence.
Also because he usually woke up late and was warm…
The gate to her room opened and in came her child. She may have tried to eat her once, but she now saw her as her own offspring…
"Kazuma, wake up! I made breakfast… Kazuma, are you okay?!" the child said as she entered the room only to see that lazy human laying there with gloomy clouds over his head.
Wait, did she say she made breakfast?!
She should leave and catch some prey for herself because she's not eating charred fish again.
"Megumin!" Kazuma said as he jumped out of the bed and crawled towards her on his knees.
"What happened?" the child asked in worry.
"Megumin."
"Yes?"
"Yesterday, I upgraded my Steal skill and- and…"
"And?"
"I can't steal panties anymore!" Kazuma said with a sob, hugging her legs tightly.
She just watched this all with a deadpan expression.
Her child lifted his face up and cupped his cheeks and said with a sweet voice, "Kazuma, would you like to tell me who you were trying to steal panties from?"
Seeing her eyes starting to shine, she decided it was time for her to leave.
She didn't want to be anywhere near that room until that storm passed…
I am the Avatar of Violence, one who can make the gods bleed. The ender of all, harbinger of war. Step aside or I shall strike you down," Chomusuke said to the figure that stood in her way.
Her tail was raised, eyes focusing and shining, teeth baring at her opponent.
Her eyes watched its every movement as the draconic being tilted his head sideways innocently.
She had been marching through the hall of the mansion when he came running and stood ahead of her.
She tried moving past him but he stood still.
"You don't understand me, do you?"
Seeing the innocent, almost playful look in his eyes, she relented and asked, "What do you want, boy?"
Seeing him get excited and wiggle his tail, she said, "Do you want to show me something?"
He nodded.
"So you do understand me!"
Maybe he wanted to show her some new mighty power he had learned. If he did, then she could possibly consider him as a minion…
She told him to get on with it and the dragon went two steps back and…
Rolled first to the right, then to the left… like a dog.
Once he was done, he looked back at her expectantly.
"Who taught you that art boy?" she asked as she patted him a little with her paws.
The dragon motioned towards Aqua, the goddess who definitely bribed her way into godhood.
She was eating some chips.
"I will be back in a moment, okay?" she said as she stalked forward slowly towards the self proclaimed goddess.
"Oh, hey Chomusuke. Do you want some chips too? Here, I'll give you one if you- OWOWOW!"
Kazuma sat in his seat, quietly sipping tea, watching the black cat mauling Aqua.
"Ahhh! Not my hair you stupid furball! Let go or I'll show you my holy fist-"
"Megumin! Aqua's fighting with Chomusuke!" Kazuma said aloud.
"Hey! She's the one who started it!"
There's a set of iron cages behind the guild that are used for holding monsters that have been captured for research or trading purposes.
Her child's eyes sparkled as she refused to leave that cage that held a Rookie Killer.
"Hey, even if it's a herbivorous Rookie Killer, it's still a powerful monster. Come on, it's dangerous here so let's go back," Kazuma said to her to no avail.
"Do you not understand how cool it is Kazuma? That sleek body, those huge fangs that look like they could end a creature in a single blow, and those bright red eyes shining from beneath his black fur… Just everything about it is so cool!" the child gushed as her hands moved animatedly.
"Well yeah, large cats are cool and all, but some noble has already decided to buy this Rookie Killer. You know how they can be right?"
"Yes, but let me stay here just a while longer, I'll go back soon… This one seems to really like eating wolfberries. Yeah, I like them too," child said, gazing upon the Rookie Killer as it hungrily chowed down on the fruit in its cage.
How many times has she said 'just a while longer' she wondered.
Suddenly she had a bad feeling and soon knew why.
"Kazuma, I want to get the Rookie Killer and Chomusuke together."
"Excuse me what? At least ask for my consent on this," Chomusuke said to them.
"See, she thinks it's a good match. Just look at how much she's meowing."
"That's not what I said!"
"I know they're both felines, but have you really thought this through? At least consider the difference in size."
"Help! Someone help!"
"Hey, stop! Don't shove Chomusuke through the bars! Do you want her to become a snack?"
After the demon shoved her through the bars, instead of running away, she decided to toughen up.
She casually walked up to the Rookie Killer and said, "So, you come here often?"
The Rookie Killer seemed to pay Chomusuke no heed, simply lying in its cage as Chomusuke approached.
"Go away, squirt."
"Who are you calling squirt? I will have you know-"
"... Seems like it failed. Ah, and here I was hoping for them to create a cool child together…"
"Excuse me?" she said, turning back towards her.
"Come on, you should respect their choice."
The next day, they were back, and this time she was in a dress.
"I made an outfit to bring out Chomusuke's cuteness today. Do you think the Rookie Killer will like her better now?"
"What are you doing? I feel sorry for Chomusuke… Though I guess the cat quite likes it…"
She thought the clothes were warm so she was okay with them… for now.
She was again put inside the cage.
The Rookie Killer sniffed her but then let her go.
"At least he didn't eat her," Kazuma said.
"Yeah, thanks for that, you're definitely not missing out. I definitely don't taste good."
"Is it me or does he seem more lethargic? And the way it sleeps is a little odd," Kazuma said as he peered at the giant cat.
The Rookie Killer lay in the middle of its cage, its eyes half open.
"His body has probably become weak after being locked up in that cage for so long."
After they relayed that to the guild staff, they tried many different things to help the Rookie Killer, but it didn't seem to make much of a difference.
In her worry, child tightly grasped the bars of the cage and pressed her face all the way up to it.
Kazuma told her that it's still dangerous even if it's herbivorous, but she ignored him.
We were shooed away when the noble came to collect the Rookie Killer.
"So this is the herbivorous Rookie Killer… What the- It's not dead, is it?!" Such were the words the noble uttered upon seeing the Rookie Killer.
The nobleman prodded at it with his cane to check for signs of life.
Seeing the Rookie Killer remain completely still, the man let out a deep sigh.
"It may not make it back to my residence like this… Ah well, if it ends up dying, I suppose I'll just stuff it."
Those words put an indignant expression on Megumin's face.
"... Hey, how long would it take for you people to load it onto the carriage? You know what, nevermind, we brought the specially made collar with us, yes? Just put it on its neck and take it out of the cage. If it's this weak, a collar and rope would be enough to control it. It'd be faster this way. I won't need to spend money to buy the cage too."
Hearing the nobleman's words, his underlings gave each other a look before doing as ordered.
"Right, the collar and rope are both attached now… Say, are you sure this thing is still alive? It's not moving at all. Hey, just drag him out of the cage!"
Following his instructions, his men grabbed onto the rope and dragged the Rookie Killer out of the cage. Then…
The Rookie Killer suddenly opened its eyes and pounced on the nobleman.
"Aaah! Th-This guy isn't weak at all! Help me! Hey, Crimson Demon girl! You can use advanced magic, right? Hurry up and kill this thing!"
In response, child brought out her staff and struck a pose.
In response, the Rookie Killer stared at child and slowly backed away from the nobleman.
Without shifting its gaze from child, it started slowly moving away from the town.
It must've instinctively known that she was the only person in this group that posed a threat to him.
Kazuma was somewhat dangerous but he refused to do anything.
"Hurry up! What are you waiting for, strike it down already!"
The newly freed nobleman screamed, and in response, child said, "My magic is quite special. If I unleash it at this range, it may hurt you…"
"Don't worry about that, hurry up and blast it! That thing tried to kill me, so hurry up and slay it already!"
Now that she had an excuse, child smiled.
She knew what was about to happen, so she slipped behind a boulder with Kazuma.
"Explosion!"
The explosion went off some distance away from the Rookie Killer, only hurting it slightly from the shockwave and causing no major damage. On the other hand, perhaps due to their close proximity to the explosion, the nobleman and his underlings all fainted out of shock.
The Rookie Killer took a look at them and then bolted into the forest.
"You missed on purpose, didn't you?" Kazuma asked Megumin when they were returning to the mansion.
"I-I did not," Megumin said from her spot on his back.
Chomusuke was sitting on Kazuma's head.
"Megumin?"
"Yes, what?"
"I'll treat you to dinner tonight."
"Where is this coming from? I won't hold back you know, using all my magic like that makes me terribly hungry," Megumin replied with a pink dusting on her cheeks.
She had found Nirvana.
And it was inside this warm kotatsu.
Chomusuke and Kazuma were sharing the heat of the kotatsu for the last few days of winter.
Spring was just around the corner.
It was peaceful…
"Kazuma, stop being lazy and let's go on a quest."
Almost…
"Hey you NEET, what did I tell you will happen if you stopped adventuring."
"Don't worry Aqua, I had a chat with Eris and she said I could take a few weeks off. She said she would cover for me."
"How the hell did you do that?" the masochist asked.
Chomusuke thought back.
She and Jarippa had stumbled across Kazuma as he was writing something on the ground.
On the left was written yes and on the right was no.
Kazuma then placed a wooden stick in the center and said, "Lady Eris, can I please take a holiday?" and let go of the stick.
The stick fell on no.
That kept repeating with Kazuma bargaining something else each time. But it always landed on no…
After a while she thought that the goddess must've gotten fed up with it all, so she made it land on yes.
"I have my ways, now let me relax," Kazuma told the three mysteriously.
"Well then, if you want to relax, let's go to the city of water and hot springs, Alcanretia."
"Wait, what did you say?"
"Don't fall for it Kazuma, she's tempting you. I have seen what you seek, and there are no mountains or valleys, just plains."
But seeing the look on Kazuma's face, she didn't think she had any chance.
"Hot springs? Hey, are you talking about that? We're going to the city of water and hot springs, Alcanretia?"
Fake goddess had a bigger reaction to the words 'hot springs' than even Kazuma.
She claimed to be the goddess of water, so it was natural for her to be interested in the city of water and hot springs.
"Oh, hot springs. Sounds great. After consecutive battles with powerful enemies, I'm getting mentally tired. Splurging every now and then and taking a trip to the hot springs isn't too bad," Kazuma finally decided to say.
Seeing the glint in Megumin's eye, she knew she had something planned.
She herself didn't like baths and she heard that the city was full of weirdos.
But hey, how bad can it be…?