Fourteen: Playing at war

The next meeting of the D.A. got off to a rocky start. In total, there were nine newcomers, but all everyone seemed to care for was the pale girl in green and silver. Astoria sidled closer to Ginny and looked downright miserable. Only now Ginny noticed she wasn't wearing any jewellery for once. Had she feared they'd get in the way during practice? Or had she nurtured the hope that without her usual adornments, she'd somehow escape notice? Ginny took a few steps forward, placing herself between her friend and a distinctly hostile audience.

"Alright, good evening everyone. As you may have noticed, we have some new faces here," she began before being cut off by Zacharias Smith.

"What's she doing here?" he shouted, pointing at Astoria. That reaction she'd expected at least. Of course there would be one instigator and of course it'd be that total jerk Smith. What worried her more were the murmurs and nods of approval his outcry received, including a very militant looking Susan Bones. From the corner of her eyes, she could see Padma shrug, as if saying 'I told you so'.

"She's here at my express invitation," Ginny said, hoping that would suffice. It didn't.

"Listen, I was okay with you being a bit off your rocker as long as you were hexing Slytherins, but bringing them here?" Whatever else Smith wanted to say died in his throat as Ginny fixed him with a quelling look.

"What Zacharias is trying to say," Susan interrupted, sounding maddeningly reasonable and Ginny instantly understood why she had inherited Hannah Abbot's prefect pin, "Is that we are a bit concerned that you brought a Slytherin here. Last year, they broke up our meeting. This year, they are killing us out there. And while we're trying to learn how to defend ourselves from that, her sister is flirting with all those junior Death Eaters."

"I'll just leave," Astoria whispered to her, but Ginny held up a hand.

"Don't you dare. This is too important," she whispered back and then turned to face the room at large. "I understand your concerns, Susan. But Astoria is not her sister. Nor is every Slytherin our enemy."

"Could have fooled me," Seamus muttered under his breath.

"Look at me. All of you. Really look at me," Ginny demanded, presenting her scarred side to the group. She could feel the scars itch and shift under their hungry gazes, finally having been granted permission to do what they'd been doing furtively for so long. "Don't you think I know how important all this is? Don't you think I know what we've lost? Don't you think I know what we'll lose, and how much more we'll lose if we get this wrong?"

For an instant, it looked like she'd won them over, all those pairs of unblinking eyes staring back at her and remembering just what this war had cost her personally. But then Susan spoke up again, sounding almost annoyed.

"We don't question your conviction, Ginny. We question your judgment. Look at her. Slytherin. Pureblood. Where was she last year?"

"Hiding." Ginny almost missed it herself, so softly Astoria had spoken. The rest of the room wasn't sure either, looking at her in confusion. Astoria's pale cheeks had turned red. "Hiding," she repeated, louder this time. "I was hiding, Susan. Even when Luna asked me to come along, I still hid. Maybe because I knew we'd just be having this same discussion. Or maybe because I was too comfortable in my Pureblood palace, who knows. But I'm here now, willing to make amends," she said. "I'm not entirely sure what else I can say. The question is, I suppose, is whether you want to fight this war with three houses, or with four. Limited as Slytherin's contribution may end up being," she admitted. "But I'm here."

Perhaps it was Luna's name that sealed the deal, or perhaps the unusual candour of a Slytherin, but Susan shifted and then nodded after a while. It didn't look like genuine acceptance, but it was something. That same resignation washed over the rest of the D.A. as well. The glares and whispers lingered, but the knives were put away. For now.

"Any further issues anyone wants to bring up?" Padma cut in. When the rest of the D.A. stayed silent, she grinned. "Good, because we're doing the Patronus charm today and I for one can't wait to get started. Ginny, mind explaining it again for those who haven't figured it out yet? Which I guess is almost everyone?"

Ginny stifled a sigh of relief and quickly went over the basics again, concluding the demonstration with her horse galloping through the Room once more. As soon as everyone had started on the charm, she walked over to Astoria, who was sitting on the side with her back against the wall. She looked even paler than usual.

"You okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, just tired." Astoria leaned her head against the wall. "I hate public speaking. All those eyes on you. The realisation they've all heard what you said and that it was stupid."

"It wasn't stupid," Ginny said, sliding down next to her. "It was from the heart."

"A Slytherin would tell you that's stupid," Astoria said. "And I'm quite sure I haven't convinced anyone. They'll just talk behind my back now. Unless something goes wrong, then the finger pointing will start."

"Tori, that's nonsense," Ginny protested but Astoria scoffed, a bitter sound.

"Tell me this. If I'd joined last year, who do you think they'd have instinctually blamed after Umbridge's little intervention?"

"True," Ginny admitted after a beat. There was no point in denying it. She'd probably still have accused Zacharias Smith, but she'd have been in the minority. "We can't change that. But we can keep proving them wrong, every week. And that starts now. Give me your best Patronus," she said, getting up and extending her hand. Astoria studied it and Ginny could see the hesitation, the desire to just stay seated and take the easy way out. But Gryffindors weren't the only ones who could do what was right instead of what was easy. Astoria clasped her hand and let herself be pulled up.

"Fine, how do I make silver animals appear? Knowing my luck, it'll probably be a snake," she said.

"I doubt it," Ginny said. If her Patronus wasn't a basilisk, she doubted Astoria would just have a snake on account of her Sorting. "Now, we're going to need a happy memory for this. The happiest you got."

"Happy memory, happy memory," Astoria muttered as she practised the wand movement in the air. "How do I know which one is the happiest?"

"Just guess, I suppose," Ginny said. "It's not an exact science."

"What signs?" Astoria said, looking very confused. Ginny shook her head, not sure how to explain that to a sheltered Pureblood.

"Nevermind."

"Which memory do you use?" Astoria asked.

"It's changed over time," Ginny said. "It used to be my eight birthday. That was the last one where all my brothers could make it."

"And now?" Astoria asked.

"Nice work, Gin. I'm glad you're here," Harry says as they take off again.

"It's more complicated," Ginny said, looking away. She could tell that Astoria wanted to press her, but instead she just repeated the wand movement. That was friendship, she supposed. Letting go, even if you didn't want to.

The first cries of 'Expecto Patronum!' were beginning to reverberate across the room, though with little to show for it so far. Everyone was trying hard, eager to not just master the famously difficult charm, but also to be the first one to get it down. Of all the D.A. members that had mastered it before, only Ginny and Chang were left, the latter's swan floating through the room to the accompaniment of awed cries. Just for that alone, Ginny hoped Astoria would figure it out today.

"Expecto Patronum," Astoria incanted with a vehement flick of her wand, though without even the slightest tinge of silver mist.

"That's normal for a first time," Ginny said, slapping her already visibly disheartened friend on the back. "Keep at it." Ginny then headed for the rest of the room. She corrected a few poses and pronunciations as she made her rounds.

Still, there wasn't much she could do, except give a few encouraging smiles. Truth be told, if everyone hadn't been so excited about the charm, and if Dementors hadn't been so awful, she wouldn't have bothered with the charm yet. But there was a certain poetry to continuing where the final D.A. session of last year had ended. If Harry was somehow watching, she was sure he'd get a kick out of everyone struggling with the spell. It still seemed impossible to believe he'd mastered it as a third year and then driven off a horde of Dementors with it too. He'd really been something else. And still he'd died.

She leaned against the wall and watched Chang's swan continue to drift by, all alone in the sky. Was she still thinking about Harry? Was she mourning him as much as she had mourned Cedric last year? Or were she and Michael too busy having fun? To watch her correct his pose, hand on his as she guided him through the motions, it made her irrationally angry. She'd had Harry, and then discarded him. And now she had Ginny's ex-boyfriend as well. She wondered if that meant if Michael would be dead by the end of this year as well. Perhaps she was a bit like Zabini's mother. It was a horrible thought and she almost instantly felt guilty for it, but couldn't fully hide her grin. And it hadn't even been the Tom part of her. That had been all hers.

Maybe she should talk to Chang. Clear up the air, be the bigger woman. Harry might have done that. But Chang had had Harry, and Ginny never would. So instead, she headed over to Demelza who was at the other end of the room, completely botching the charm.

By the end of the meeting, there had been only one new corporeal Patronus to add to the list, though with how much Padma was beaming when her silver swallow burst forth from her wand, it still felt like a victory. At least most of the sixth and seventh years had managed a silvery mist by then, as well as a visibly proud Colin. Astoria on the other hand hadn't made much progress. Still, and to her credit, she'd kept attempting till the last second, her face one of grim determination.

"Alright, thank you, everyone, thank you. That's it for this week," she announced, raising her voice to reach the backrow, where Seamus and Dean were putting in one final attempt. "Do keep practicing if you find the time this week. Many of you are really close," she said with a smile that came surprisingly easy. It was hard not to feel a little bit proud herself after seeing everyone work so hard. No wonder Harry had always come so alive during these meetings.

One by one, the students filtered out, still abuzz with excitement. No doubt a few fifth years were already imagining the bonus points they'd earn with a corporeal Patronus at their DADA O.W.L. Great progress or not, she doubted many would be able to withstand a Dementor and sustain the spell in face of their powers. Ginny wondered if she would be able to, even as her sense of accomplishment slowly faded away.

Lost in thought as she was, she didn't notice Demelza until the girl was standing right in front of her. Unlike usual, she looked almost bashful, with a uncertainty Ginny had only seen on her five minutes before Quidditch trials had started.

"What's up, Demelza?" she asked.

"I was just wondering if you were going to have another go at those," she said with a wave at the dummies. "And if I could watch again."

Her first instinct was to say no. What had happened last time had been terrifying. Riveting at the moment itself, but she still didn't quite understand what had come over her, lost to some sort of primal instinct. But the memory of Hedwig and how forlorn she'd looked after delivering the letter pushed itself to the front. It dawned on her that she really wanted to let off some steam. Besides, she had to practice, didn't she? There was a war going on out there. A war she couldn't avoid. What point was there in the training the D.A. if she wasn't ready?

"Yeah, sure. Just give me a minute, alright?" she said, seeing Astoria was still in the room as well, still lurking at the edge and afraid of coming too close to the others. Ginny doubted she'd be as enthusiastic an audience as Demelza. With a smile, Ginny walked towards her. Astoria looked completely wrung out, her hair dishevelled and a red tinge to her cheeks that looked distinctly out of place on them.

"Good to see you survived," she said. Astoria gave her a grimace.

"For now. At least it will be good preparation for the holidays. The extended Greengrass family Christmas dinner will be a walk in the park. Not even aunt Myriam can glare like that one," she said with a shake of her head in Susan Bones' direction.

"Susan will come around. It's just," Ginny said, shaking her head, "she has lost her aunt."

"I know," Astoria said. "And that's awful for her. I just wish she'd realise I didn't have anything to do with it. Maybe more Slytherins would be on your side if they didn't feel like the villains from the start."

"That isn't fair, Tori," Ginny protested.

"No. But neither is treating me like the villain." Astoria massaged her temples. "I'm sorry, it's just been a long day. Let's continue this discussion tomorrow? Or, preferably, never," she said with a weak grin.

"Alright," Ginny agreed. "Have a good night, I'll just work a bit more with Demelza."

"Have fun, but I want remedial Patronus classes as well in that case. I'm getting a corporeal Patronus before Corner, even if it's the last thing that I do."

"I didn't know you didn't like Michael," Ginny said, surprised.

"Ginny, he's your ex. Of course I hate him," Astoria said.

"Michael and I are fine," Ginny objected. "There's no need to hate him."

"Ginny, you and Michael are not fine. The whole group may have been glaring at me, but I saw the way you were looking at him and Chang. And I understand. I'll teach you some proper Slytherin curses next time." she said with a broad grin.

"Okay, fine, I don't like them. But we're not cursing them."

"if you're not doing it, I will," Astoria said in a singsong voice before sauntering off, looking mighty pleased with herself.

"Nothing too bad," she shouted at Astoria's retreating back.

"If course not. What do you take me for, a Slytherin?" she asked before disappearing through the door, leaving just Ginny and Demelza.

The dummies were already waiting for her. They really did look like Death Eaters. Perhaps that had been the one alteration her subconscious had permitted the room to make. It didn't matter. All that mattered was that she needed to get better and if some semi-realistic dummies helped with that, why not? She tied her hair back and stretched, trying to ignore Demelza's almost hungry look.

More importantly, when she practised, she wasn't afraid. She accelerated to a sprint, jumped and waved her wand.

A blasting curse took the first dummy's head clean off.

A/N: I'd just like to take the occasion to thank everyone who has reviewed lately. It always warms my heart to read your words