Abbie

It was a Friday night and One Hogan Place was nearly empty. Most employees had left early, trying to get ahead of the ominous black cloud hovering over Manhattan. There were only small groups of A.D.A.s on each floor and only two on the Major Crimes floor.

"We should take a break," Abbie Carmichael said, leaning back in her chair and stretching out her left hand. Her vision was a bit blurry from staring at documents for hours and she was beginning to have trouble reading the tiny print on the reports. "Afterall, these are optional sentencing reports."

"Maybe for you," Jack said, typing furiously away. "But this paperwork is non-optional."

"It can also wait until morning," Abbie reminded him. He looked up at her, looking slightly dishevelled. His hair was mussed and his tie and suit jacket were thrown over a chair somewhere and he wore only his white button up. He had an odd expression on his face. She thought it might be apprehension. She felt something twist inside her at the sight of him.

"It is pretty late," Jack conceded. He glanced at the clock suddenly. "Nine. It's only nine though. If I leave now I can probably still salvage most of my evening."

"Hot date?" Abbie teased before she thought better of it.

Jack chuckled lightly, seeming not to mind. "You sound like Jamie. She was always trying to fix me up with her friends. Never took though. What about you though? You're young and attractive, it's hard to believe you have nobody."

Abbie was rather pleased at hearing Jack refer to her as attractive. She smiled inwardly then stopped herself. You've known you're attractive since you were fifteen. No need to get all flushed and excited because Jack finally acknowledged it. "Your edging close to a sexual harassment suit," She teased before answering in earnest. "Much to my mother's dismay, nobody at the moment I'm focusing on my career." Jack made a sound like a cough in response. "What?" She asked.

"Mind if I give you some unsolicited advice?"

"Just try not to remind me too much of my mother."

"Working hard at your job is very important. Especially one like ours where we get a lot of power over other peoples' lives. But it isn't the end-all-be-all. And I think, from my own personal experience, that you'll regret it if you don't take the time to form relationships. Romantic or otherwise."

"Who's been translating my mom's speeches from Cherokee to English?" Abbie joked, stalling to give herself time to think of a serious response. You know you've always wanted to be married with kids. Ever since you were a teenager and all your liberal friends were swearing off kids to save the environment. And you are getting to the age when most people find their spouses… Oh stop acting like you have no idea what's going on! You know why you're doing nothing. It's because you want the one man who is unavailable to you. "I know you're right, but honestly I'm just having trouble finding the right guy," She lied.

"Well, I know an excellent way to drown your sorrows" Jack said with a twinkle in his eye that sent shivers up her spine. "Grab your coat. Are you hungry?"

"Starving," Abbie admitted.

"Let's go to dinner. We can both eat. No grazing." Abbie nodded and grabbed her coat and she passed his to him. "We can even still bill a few hours for it. Team building." He said the last part in quotation marks with his left hand, while his right hand, briefly but noticeably touched the small of her back to usher her out the door. Abbie could swear she felt the heat of it through her clothes.

Jack was right that neither would have to graze. The restaurant was very nice. "Are you sure we'll be able to get in on a Friday night?" Abbie asked, looking at the many cars and valets milling around.

Jack gave a nonchalant nod. "I have reservations for nine-thirty. We're a bit early so we might have to wait though."

"Reservations?" Abbie repeated, surprised. A quick frisson running through her. "Did somebody cancel on you?"

"No. I made them earlier today. I figured neither of us would mind getting a bite to eat after work."

"Why didn't you mention them earlier? You seemed ready to work all night."

"I forgot," He said coolly. He didn't look bashful or embarrassed, though Jack rarely did. "I'm glad I remembered though."

"Oh." Oh. You're just imagining it. It's a friendly dinner between colleagues. You've gone to dinner with Jack and Adam a dozen times. Except this time it's just you and Jack… She didn't say anything else and they entered the restaurant and introduced themselves to the maître d' who told them they would need to wait a few minutes. They sat down on a couch in the small waiting area. It was relatively small, and even at opposite ends they weren't too far apart.

Not sure what to say, Abbie paused, then asked, "So what's exactly the purpose of this dinner?"

"To get to know each other. I often do it with the people I work with. It's nice not to be strangers with the people you're talking to all day. Usually it ends up being kind of a game of twenty questions." Jack said matter-a-factly. Then added jokingly, "Best part is we can say it's for work and get the city to pay for it.

"So is this personal or professional?" Abbie asked before she could stop herself.

Jack smiled. "Why not both?" It was quick as a flash but Abbie could swear he winked at her. And she blushed then scolded herself for feeling silly. He's being friendly. Jesus Christ calm down.

"Can I go first?" She asked.

"Shoot."

"Did you actually sleep with all your A. ?" She didn't regret asking that one even if it was personal. It had been on her mind for a while.

"You know Jamie asked me the exact same thing," He mused. "Three. Early on in my career. How accurate is the office gossip on that number?"

"About that number," Abbie said honestly. She felt privately relieved he hadn't slept with all of them.

"Do you think I'm a bad person for doing that? Does it interfere with your flag and faith conservative mindset?" He pressed.

"Maybe a bit," Abbie said honestly. "But I still think you're a good boss. And a good person if that's what you're wondering." She was being honest. And maybe a bit interested in the fact that you were willing to sleep with your A.D.A's. He seemed to be satisfied with that answer, smiling briefly. Abbie was about to ask him another question when the maître d' told them their table was ready.

"After you," Jack said.

At the table the questions paused as they talked about the food and the case. It was only once Abbie was halfway through her first glass of wine and Jack finished his first scotch before they resumed. In these questions neither shared the whole truth. Jack started. "My turn. What did you first think of me?"

"I thought you were one of those men who likes to sleep with women he has power over. I did greatly admire your legal skills though. I thought you were self-righteous and controlling though." She said, completely honest, though she cut out a few parts. I also admired your tenacious drive to prosecute a criminal. I read many of your arguments as models when working on my own.

"Give me criticism too. Not just the good stuff," He deadpanned. He didn't seem particularly offended however.

"What did you think of me?" She asked.

"Also self-righteous. Arrogant. Stubborn. Adamant. Naive about the law. A good debater. You held your ground well against me. Shockingly attractive for somebody who works in the D.A's office." He added all of the sudden, as if just thinking of it, surprising Abbie.

Before she could even consider what to say back he asked, "What do you think of me now?"

She answered that instead of thinking about what he had just told her. "Still self-righteous. And now that you mention the word, adamant as well. But you're not a pervert or a creep. I think you care deeply about doing what is right, if less about how you get there. I think you're the best lawyer I've worked with. Especially your closings. And you are good looking," Abbie admitted. I'm also now wildly attracted to you. I occasionally have sex dreams about you. And it makes me ashamed because you're my boss. I greatly value your opinion of me, though I may not act like it. "Now me."

"You don't lack empathy. You just don't hand it out to the defendants. But you'll go to the bat of the victim's rights if you think they deserve it. You have a deep drive for justice. But you can be callous and unforgiving sometimes. You have no problem saying what you think is right, whether morally or politically even if it's unpopular. And you're an excellent lawyer even if you occasionally step over the bounds."

"I wonder where I learned that from." Abbie smiled, sipping her whine, deeply pleased at what he had said. She noticed neither of them sugar coated the truth, both choosing harsh honesty. Abbie found she preferred that. The compliments tasted better with the insults. She knew they were real.

They talked for another hour and a half through dinner and dessert about less personal things. Politics, local news, work, their families.

Finally, as they were finishing dessert Jack asked; "Why did you decide to be a prosecutor?" Abbie paused, considering the question. She drank the last of the wine in her glass to stall. "Can I add an addendum to that question, more personal?"

Abbie suddenly wondered if they were drunk. She had just finished her second glass of wine and she had almost no tolerance, and Jack had been nursing a scotch all evening. Normally Abbie hated getting drunk around strangers. She was always afraid she'd reveal something too personal or embarrass herself. But she felt relaxed now. Odd, since before tonight her and Jack had almost never shared anything personal, except for that one time after the Simonelli case, whatever that was. But this evening they were asking almost anything to each other. God, I really hope he doesn't do this with all his colleagues.

Jack continued, "Forgive me if I overstep but did your rape have anything to do with it?"

Abbie thought about her words before answering. "Not as much as one might think. I've seen the movies and read the books about the women who are raped then spend the rest of their lives getting revenge and hunting down rapists. And I guess that happens to some women, and it works for them. But I wouldn't want what he did to determine the course of my life. What he did, thought traumatising was something I could, and did, come back from. But if I chose my career to mentally punish him, giving up work I honestly enjoyed, I would be giving his actions more dominance over me."

"So why did you become an A.D.A then?"

"Because I genuinely appreciate the capacity for humans to pursue justice, or at least our collective endeavour to achieve it. It's meaningful and enjoyable, especially in the right company." Her words laced with a soft laughter that revealed a hint of vulnerability. "So, please, be honest with me—does that all sound unreasonable and idealistic?"

"No," Jack said. He was staring intently at her. "I get it. My dad was abusive to me and my mom. Would smack us around. I'm pretty over it now but when I was young I thought about it a lot. I even considered becoming a psychologist, like Olivet, for abused children. But then I realised that I would have hated that. It wasn't what I wanted. Point is, I'm happy I also chose a job because I enjoyed it. Not because of some obligation to other abused children. And not because of what somebody else did to me."

"Yet we both ended up in law enforcement, inadvertently doing what we said we weren't going to spend our lives doing," Abbie mused. "Do you think we're lying to ourselves?"

"Yes," Jack said, looking straight at her. "But not about that." His words sent a chill through Abbie. She knew exactly how he meant it. It was the first time he had directly shown a tangible interest in her. Sure there were too long touches. Sitting closer than needed on couches. But never anything definitive and not explained away. But the way he looked at her then…

Instead of answering Abbie cleared her throat. "We should probably head out. We're finished anyhow."

"Of course. Could you grab our coats please. I'll get it." Jack took out his own credit card, not the one they both were given for business expenses.

"I thought we were saying it was a work expense. That it was for professional development and team building." Abbie said in a joking tone, though she didn't mean it that way. She didn't know why she was focusing on this point. Maybe she just wanted to make sure.

"I think we both know this could never be called anything close to professional," Jack said, again looking her straight in the eyes.

"I'll get the coats."

The air was humid as they walked around. Abbie could smell that it was going to rain. They walked around laughing and joking, cheery in their somewhat drunkenness and in each others' presence. "My apartment's not far from here," Jack said when they stopped for a second.

"I don't sleep with people on the first date," Abbie responded, raising an eyebrow.

Jack raised one back. It had started to rain, little sprinkles hitting Abbie's head and back. "Then don't have sex with me, but sleep with me." He played on the double meaning and Abbie smiled.

The rain was increasing, getting heavier and heavier. They would be soaked soon. "OK." Abbie said, feeling a thrill in her stomach. Jack suddenly looked out into the street. It was mostly empty due to the hour and the rain. Still he moved them slightly into an alleyway. Then he kissed her.

At first it was a soft kiss just on her lips, lightly brushing against them. Then when Abbie smiled he kissed her like that a few more times. At each touch she felt an almost electric shock run through her body. She felt the edge of his tongue on her lips and she opened her mouth deepening the kiss. They stood like that for a while, until Abbie pulled away because her legs felt like they were going to go out from under her. Jack looked mildly smug.

"That was really nice, Jack," Abbie said and she meant it.

"I've been waiting a long time to do that Abbie," Jack said, and he meant it.

Jack

Jack had not been fully honest with Abbie when she had asked what he had first thought of her. He had said attractive, yes, but not that she had also been arousing, in an oddly and fiercely persistent way. They would be arguing over a case, him pacing around the office in annoyance and her on the couch leaning back, wearing the tighter shirts she always wore under her pantsuits and he would suddenly have the urge to grab and kiss her. Push her shirt up as he tore her bra off. Then he would feel all the blood rushing down and he would have to sit down behind a desk or risk having to cut the argument short.

He thought about that as he lay in bed. Abbie was next to him, wearing his clothes, fast asleep. He had an arm tucked around her that he didn't move for fear of waking her up. Her long body was pressed against his. They had talked for awhile but eventually she had gotten too tired and passed out mid-conversation. Jack didn't mind. He needed to sort out his thoughts.

I've wanted this for a while, he reflected to himself. At first he had only been attracted to her physically as most men likely would be to Abbie Carmichael. Then something had changed. He would be reading a book and suddenly wonder what Abbie would think of the book. He'd be watching TV and hear a joke and think, I should write that down for tomorrow. That would crack Abbie up. The thoughts were unbidden and at first he tried to brush them off, but they soon grew more frequent.

He had also lied to her when he had said he had made the reservations that morning. He had had to do it a month in advance to get the right time. He had told himself the wait was a good thing. Make sure you really want to do this. Then the day they had had an argument about their sentencing reports. It had been minor, not any different from the dozens they had had before. But it made Jack pause, wondering if he was about to enter into another tumultuous relationship.

This is a lucky thing Jack. You got a preview of how your relationship would've been. You would fight all the time like your previous A. . And you know it would be worse with Abbie. She gets so passionate about the cases. Then the word passionate made his brian briefly wonder if Abbie would be a passionate lover to which his brain also guessed: probably.

God! This is going to destroy me. But it's for the best. She's so much younger than you. What would people think? What future could it have? It would need to be hidden for the next few years to avoid the look of impropriety and then what? If it lasts that long are you going to have more kids? She'll want that. How old will you be when the kids turn eighteen Jack?

He had already decided to go and cancel the reservations when she suggested they take a break. Whether it was because he was tired and running out of willpower or because he had never planned to stop it in the first place he wasn't sure. But Jack knew he wouldn't be cancelling these reservations the moment she suggested they stop for the night.

He found that he didn't regret what he did. He had wanted to be with Abbie for a long time and the gratification from this was rather thrilling.

There were still problems of course. If a defendant ever got hold of it they could use it as leverage at trial or for an appeal. He briefly remembered the stories about his old A.D.A Claire and Judge Thayer or Jamie and her ex-husband Neil Gorton.

Or if any of Adam's rivals got hold of it when he ran for reelection. Jack vividly remembered the vicious fight between Adam and Feldman last time. He chuckled though as he envisioned various possible headlines if their secret ever got out during an election: "Prosecuting Passion: Lawyers Find 'Objection!' Turns into 'Oh, Yes!'" or "Pleasure Verdict: Lawyers Learn Law 69 in the Penal Code!" or "Law & Lust: E.A.D.A McCoy Master of Not Just 'Closing Arguments' but 'Closing the Deal!'" He imagined Adam reading them with horror.

He chuckled lightly out loud at his own musings. "Jack," Abbie murmured, voice thick with sleep. "Go to sleep now" She shifted to lean into him, wrapping one of her long legs around his.

He nodded, forgetting it was dark and Abbie had her eyes closed. It didn't matter anyway as Abbie was, in seconds, asleep, and in a bit longer, so was he.