Yo! Plenty of dramatic stuff in thisin' here chapter. The cursing is of course authentic to the Si. Sorry!

Without further ado enjoy!

Edit: I'm just gonna stop doing italics if this damn thing is gonna be so finicky. Heads up.

"...and that class is how one performs the henge," Iruka Umino said. Sasuke watched incredibly bored as the teacher rambled on about subjects which he had already memorized years ago. With the amount of repetition inherent in schooling it was perhaps worthwhile to teach techniques repeatedly for the children's sake. After all, failure to do these Jutsu in the heat of battle could result in one's death. Didn't make it any less boring.

"Alright now how about you guys show me if you can do it too?"

At this announcement many of his classmates groaned in displeasure. On the transformation technique so many times that even Sasuke was confused which memories were from when, having memorized basically every single moment of his life from the instant he activated his Sharingan. Good chakra control exercise, but some expressed worry over the continued strain of use. He said the same thing he told the Hokage:

"It grew easier with use." The Hokage had been dissatisfied with the answer, but he didn't force the issue.

"Uchiha, Sasuke." Mizuki called.

He looked over to Iruka, who had grown used to the red eyed stare. The Henge was literally child's play, he could do it in his sleep with the most minimal amount of chakra. In fact the same could be said for all the academy jutsu, and also for every weapon it introduced. What he sought was perfection, and with his all seeing eyes, it is what he acquired. It was almost boring, but as he stood in front of Iruka who barely even bothered to look up from the clipboard he was writing, he cast a sneaky glance at Naruto who nodded at his smirk excitedly.

"Okay Sasuke, as before…"

Before Iruka could even finish I had already transformed, but not into someone else. Luscious raven tresses framed a snow white face, complemented by slim neatly trimmed eyebrows and a set of ruby red lips that went quite well with the Sharingan. The expression was inviting, the kimono he wore opened just slightly to give one a glimpse of the collarbone, the pink and white cherry blossoms that constituted the pattern clashing sublimely with pale, pale skin underneath.

"Will this do sensei~?"

Iruka's expression was one of pure unadulterated shock. He could sense the entirety of the class's eyes upon him and struggled not to break down laughing, which Naruto had no compunctions about as he rolled around the floor practically screaming with laughter. He and Naruto had become good friends over the years. It would not do to simply leave the boy alone to a miserable childhood, when Sasuke knew that he could be the friend and acknowledgement that the boy desperately sought. Especially with both their statuses as orphans. But he knew he wouldn't really be able to be a true friend to the boy, after all he was years his senior within his mind. So he was both rival and brother. Teacher and confidant. A place to sleep when the festivities on his birthday wore on the boy, whose very date of birth was a curse and burden, and could find no solace within the cold stares of festival goers. Indeed, he maintained pleasant relations with all the rookie nine, and any classmate who spoke with him at all. Do unto others and all that. Turning about he gauged their expressions, finally letting loose hearty chuckles with his now husky voice at the gaping fish eyed stares of everyone. Naruto flashed him a thumbs up, and he gave one right back.

"N-Naruto?" Iruka said. A sudden look of realization dawned across his face as he realized who may be the source of this uncharacteristic joke from the Uchiha. Funnily enough he was right. Sasuke had tried to interfere with Naruto's development as much as possible, he didn't really want him to be as strong as himself combat wise as he would prefer that he wielded power alone and absolutely, but regardless Naruto retained most of his personality traits from the manga and absorbed teachings like a fish. Combat teachings, that is, he was hopeless at anything that wasn't practical and he still couldn't do the clone technique. His chakra control was still abysmal, and despite Sasuke's numerous attempts to try and teach him the chakra control exercises he remembered from the show, Naruto wouldn't budge. He didn't see much point in "playing with leaves", thereby couldn't even begin to attempt tree climbing, let alone water walking. The fool. He is a child, remember that. A small voice echoed in his head. Sigh.

"You pass Sasuke." Iruka said in a small voice as he straightened his sweaty collar and stared daggers at Naruto who merely smiled brightly. "Get over here you."

Naruto approached leisurely, high-fiving Sasuke as he passed, though he had to jump. As he made his way to his seat and sat down, which was by the window and next to Sakura, he met her world shattered gaze with a calm expression which morphed into a subtle smile.

"Don't worry Sakura-chan, I'm sure you'll be as pretty as me when you grow up."

She fainted. Seriously, head first on the desk. Another thump indicated that Ino had vacated the premises for la-la land as well, though it was hard to hear over the snorts and chuckles his joke caused. Faintly he thought he heard someone say troublesome. Oh, you thought it was funny; Shikamaru you lazy bum. He let go of the transformation when nobody was looking.

"Okay Naruto, why don't you perform the clone technique."

The look in Iruka's eyes wasn't particularly pleasant as he said this. Sasuke felt the frown forming on his visage as Naruto's confident smile diminished into a baleful scowl. He knew he couldn't do it. Iruka knew he couldn't do it. Everyone in the class knew he couldn't do it. But regardless Naruto made the hand seals without much grumbling, a serious expression adorning his face as he once again tried to attempt the clone technique.

"Clone!"

With a pop and some smoke a lifeless gray husk stood beside Naruto that promptly fell to the ground. Iruka crossed his arms and with a cold expression announced; "Fail."

To say Naruto looked downtrodden was an understatement, to say he was furious was simply apt.

"What gives Iruka-sensei, ya know I couldn't do that!" he yelled. Mizuki said something similar from the desk, but Iruka sighed and looked at the rest of the class as if ignoring him. Odd.

"Well Naruto, final exams are tomorrow, and like the rest of the class I figured you needed help on your most difficult technique. Listen…" and Naruto looked up at his eyes that didn't really hold him any real ill-will. "It is admirable that both you and Sasuke-kun probably have the best henges in class, by no means is it an easy technique, but graduation requires the use of all three of the standard academy Jutsu."

Naruto grumbled, but couldn't really find any fault in such logic. It saddened Sasuke, but there wasn't much he could really do. He had theorized that the third Hokage was trying to let him fail, shield him from the hardships of the ninja by making the graduation standards strict enough to be impassable for the Jinchuuriki. He could guess why the old man, embittered by the loss of most of his friends and comrades, would try to save his successor's son in such a way; just as he had tried to do to himself at the hospital. The Hokage may very well wish to remove the children of the people he failed from danger and further tragedy, but if that was the case he should have known better than to meddle with the wishes of others even if he had misgivings. A firm hand is necessary to lead, but a tight grip ensures resentment. Regardless, if all goes well Naruto would be a genin in just two days and the Hokage's hand would be forced.

"Everyone remember to study for the exam. I'll see you all tomorrow."

Everyone left rather hurriedly, Naruto most of all, but Sasuke's eyes were caught by something before he could rise. Iruka and Mizuki seemed to be having a hushed, if aggravated, conversation and from the bits he could read from their lips Iruka was scolding him for being too lax. This hadn't happened in the manga, but Sasuke had come to realize that unlike the characters he was familiar with in all their two-dimensional glory the people who surrounded him now were just that; people. Hopes, dreams, and all that yadda-yadda. So of course if Iruka feels very strongly about the seriousness of the academy he would take Mizuki aside to discuss it with him. After all this was a school for child-soldiers, one fuck up in the field meant death or dismemberment not an F. From the looks of things, Iruka did not like Mizuki's replies. Sasuke left before he could be caught staring, but it was still an interesting experience. Perhaps dissatisfaction with his work was partly to blame for Mizuki becoming a traitor. Who knows. It's not like Sasuke really had any way of really interfering with these events without being incredibly suspicious.

He was at chunin level, sit-ups, push-ups, and plenty of juice did that to a fella, but his repertoire was severely lacking. Nothing related to actual ninja techniques, except the most basic of the basics, was available to the public regardless of the fact that he was still technically head of his clan. The clan's stores revealed nothing much at all, plenty of wills relegated equipment, swords, kunai, and shuriken to last a lifetime but it seemed that for actual Jutsu the Uchiha only technique wrote down Great Fireball as it was essential for their right of passage. So he knew four Jutsu and had been furiously practicing on subtly hypnotizing individuals to have a good opinion of him, or to change their favorite color in the moment. Genjutsu was difficult, one had to navigate the mind that was fraught with complexity that…well boggled the mind. It was not impossible however, and the Sharingan really did give one an intuitive understanding of its usage. Half the battle was supplanting the will of the subject, which to be honest he was confident that on anything less than a Jounin he could subsume their will. Scary stuff to be honest. It didn't feel great to be practicing on the defenseless, but the alternatives were lacking. Haku was roughly Chunin to low Jounin level, so really he thought he was making pretty good progress. Sasuke also memorized every martial art he could get his hands on and practiced them religiously. He could confidently say that while Lee would ten out of ten kick his ass every time, he would at least be able to say it was not because his techniques were lacking. The blade, the bow, the spear, and dozens of scrolls on martial arts old and new had given him an almost perfect grasp on martial arts. His über samurai aspirations aside, strength was the only real weak department for as much as he could wear weights all the time, which he was pretty sure would just destroy his joints, watch out for arthritis Lee, he was just thirteen. Thirteen year olds weren't very strong. Even with chakra and regular training he was still only as strong as a fully grown civilian and not much more. Those fanfiction where they become gods before the Chunin exam were just bullshit, because of course that's not how it works. He doubted even having the Kyuubi would help. Why would it? Only time would get him anywhere near Lee's level, let alone a Jounin.

"Bullshit." he mumbled.

"Oh, did you say something Sasuke-kun?"

Suddenly a very high pitched voice spoke up from behind him as he made his way home. Visibly cringing he smoothed out his expression to face one of several annoyances which he had hoped to avoid, but had failed to do anything about at all. Sakura Haruno must have awoken from her slumber and followed him out. The pink haired girl looked at him with a demure expression as she ground out her heart's greatest desire.

"Hey Sasuke-kun, w-would you like to go on a date?"

Supremely and absolutely no he would not. A, she was thirteen; 'nough said. B, he didn't like Sakura very much at all even if she was older. He found her very annoying in her advances and incredibly childish in her infatuation. He had rejected both Sakura and Ino and every other lovestruck child in his class enough to drive him to drink. If he could drink…or smoke. God he wished he was an adult. Oh wait, that was tomorrow. Get the headband, become a shinobi, therefore adult. Fuck yeah. Right? Wait, was that just a fanfiction thing? I mean he was a soldier so…dammit probably not. It didn't sound right. Sakura nervously started to ramble in the pregnant pause.

"I thought we could go to this excellent barbeque place I know and I just wanted to get your opinion on my throwing technique since the exams are coming and all, I hope it wouldn't be a bother or anything I just thought that since I saw you on your own you had nothing better to do and…"

He held up his hand. Damn she could talk.

"No thank you Sakura-san."

She looked like her puppy had died.

"Oh…" she looked down and a question still burst from her lips. "Um, today in class did you really…I mean I had this weird dream…"

"Oh yes, that happened."

And then he left. Quickly, without bothering to gauge her expression. He'd be seeing her more than enough soon. The Uchiha district was bustling as usual as he made his way through it. The Hokage was a man of his word, and keen to use this invaluable infrastructure to literally rake in the ryo. Subtly implying that he wanted to make use of the buildings had been a godsend, as now he doubted that he would ever run out of money no matter how much he spent. Where was this money you may ask? On him. Seals baby, seals. Not all of it, but as much as he could feasibly shove into a scroll he put within the wrappings on his waist. He really felt like a feudal lord when the villagers bowed as he passed, though it helped that he requested that the rent be made feasible for lower income families to move within the boundaries of his clan's domain. Capitalism, love it or leave it, but money was a power all by itself. Didn't help that he dressed the part. What could he say, the ronin look suited him. Red and white looked great on Sasuke.

As he stepped through the door of his all too empty house he realized that tomorrow would probably decide the course of history. If events didn't happen as they were supposed to, he would be up shit creek without a paddle, his future knowledge useless unless Naruto played out the way he remembered it. Or at least similarly. Trepidation filled him as he lay his head to rest that night.

No rest for the wicked I suppose.

The classroom was abuzz with excited energy. Sasuke's night had been restless as he lay in his bed hoping Naruto would make it out alright, and therefore he felt far more tired than the rest of his class. The exam had been easy, he assumed he would match Sakura's perfect score and thereby securing his place on team seven. When Iruka walked in, bandaged but no worse for wear, he began to hope for the best. Though he tried to quell this bastard of a feeling as soon as it arrived. Hope, afterall, was a bridge to despair. It made the relief all the more palpable when Naruto entered proudly through the door, headband gleaming in the light. He must have spent all night polishing it to a sheen. He really couldn't help what happened next, though at least he tempered it with the character he had been building for himself.

"Hurrah, Naruto! It's good to see you." He'd never shown such emotion before to anyone but the blonde menace, who simply beamed and gave two thumbs up, while the rest of the class looked on in wonder.

"A little test isn't gonna put the future Hokage down, ya know!"

"Bull-shit." Kiba expressed his disbelief with a scowl. "We all know you failed that test Naruto, where'd you get that headband from. Did you steal it?"

His words were punctuated by Naruto's face turning a deep shade of red.

"I got it fair and square dogbreath, bark off." he said. Iruka looked on with displeasure clear in eyes. "That's enough boys. Kiba, Naruto acquired his headband legally and that's all that I'll say about that."

Kiba looked absolutely livid but obviously stifled whatever he was going to say next with a dismissive grunt. Iruka then gave a speech to the class which related how proud he was of them all, and his belief that they would make fine shinobi. Sasuke couldn't help but notice that he spent most of his gaze on Naruto. The boy could really win people over it seems. Iruka then assigned the teams to the children, which followed the exact same pattern he remembered. Thank God. Things would be infinitely more complicated on another team. Manageable, but complicated.

"ALRIGHT!" Naruto was practically vibrating with excitement. He was on the same team as his best friend and crush, so Sasuke supposed that would cause anyone a good deal of joy. Good for him.

"Yes! No!"

Sakura meanwhile looked extremely conflicted. She really didn't like Naruto because of his massive crush on her. The irony made Sasuke chuckle. See how she liked it. Naruto immediately began talking Sasuke's ears off about what happened last night, though he said it low enough that Sakura was left hovering in her seat awkwardly. When Sasuke told Naruto that he did well he beamed. Sasuke held in the urge to tousle his hair, Naruto hated it when he did that. Then two hours passed, and even Sasuke was a little annoyed at their one-eyed sensei for being so flagrantly late. Though to be fair, perhaps he was just readying himself at the memorial stone to see a picture perfect clone of his dead sensei in the flesh. Sasuke knew it would be hard for himself to do so. Naruto looked dead bored. He perked up.

"Hey Sasuke, watch this." With a sly smile he set up his prank at the door, the eraser hanging precariously on the edge. "This is gonna be hilarious."

"N-naruto are you trying to get us in trouble on the first day!" came Sakura's stammered out reprisals. Sasuke looked over at her, catching with his excellent vision that Kakashi was actually just beyond the door flak jacket and all, and decided to make a joke.

"Maa, Sakura-san I'm sure a Jounin wouldn't be dumb enough to…" he was interrupted by the sensei himself appearing nonplussed by his copying of his verbal tic. The eraser twirled through the air and landed with a dull thunk on his already gray hair.

"Maa...How do I put this? My first impression of this group is—I hate you." he said with an eye-smile. Holy shit it was real, he was smiling with his eyes. How? "Meet me on the roof in a minute."

Then he disappeared in a swirl of leaves. Sasuke shrugged and just opened up the window, walking up the side of the building.

"That's not fair Sasuke!"

Sasuke smirked.

At the top of the building Kakashi, predictably, was already there sitting on the edge. He didn't seem surprised.

"Hmm, impressive." the question was obvious in his eyes.

"Stick to leaves, stick to trees, stick to everything."

"Everything?"

"Everything."

Kakashi nodded, but Sasuke couldn't really tell if he was impressed or not. The man had graduated from the academy at age five or something, so he was the real genius here if anything. The other two arrived shortly after visibly winded.

"Let's introduce ourselves."

"What should we say?" Sakura said.

"Your likes, dislikes, your future dream, hobbies, things like that!" everyone fell into a contemplative silence until Sakura used her wits for once.

"Why don't you go first Kakashi-sensei?"

"Hmm, well…my name is Kakashi Hatake. I like a lot of things, I dislike a lot of things. I don't really have any dreams for the future and I have plenty of hobbies." yeah, like reading smut in public. "Blondie, go."

Naruto puffed out his chest, which deflated as soon as he registered "blondie", and stood on his seat.

"My name is Naruto Uzumaki! I like ramen, especially Ichiraku ramen, and especially if it's with Iruka-sensei! I dislike the time it takes for ramen to cook, my hobbies are training, and my dream is to become Hokage, ya know!" everyone removed their fingers from their ears. Boy he was loud.

"Okay…pinkie." she visibly bristled at the nickname.

"I'm Sakura Haruno. My likes are…well-" she looked Sasuke's way. "My dream is…" she giggled some more while looking in his direction but oddly…perversely. Ugh. "And I hate Naruto!" Naruto slumped over having suffered a crushing defeat. Kakashi points at Sasuke.

"The quiet one, go."

Sasuke cracked his neck.

"I am Sasuke Uchiha. I like the arts. I dislike the ignorant. My dream is to restore my clan and put Itachi Uchiha's head on a spike in front of the Uchiha district."

Nobody said a word. Kakashi was looking at him with a concerned expression mashed together with one that was utterly disturbed. Naruto was simply frowning as he had heard before the litany of threats which Sasuke had promised to deliver onto Itachi. Sakura was pale, looking at him in horror.

"Moving on from…that. It's my pleasure to tell you that you aren't actually shinobi yet." he explained with a crinkled eye. Seriously, how does he do that? Regardless, he explained that the real final exam was tomorrow amidst Naruto and Sakura's complaints. He left with a warning about breakfast and to arrive at six a.m. sharp. Finally the trio was alone.

"So, what should we do now Sasuke-kun?" Sakura looked at him with trepidation, he was surprised she had the guts to after his literal declaration of murderous intent. Admirable he supposed. Or crazy.

"Strategize."

"All right! I knew having you guys on my team would pay off! You're pretty smart Sakura-chan, so this should be a cinch."

"Wait, what do you mean Sasuke?"

Sasuke just looked at her oddly.

"Obviously he's going to test us in some physical way right? A paper test a shinobi does not make." she looked mystified at his rather astute, cough foresight cough, assumption. And deeply worried.

"Oh…a physical test. Yay." Sasuke pinched his brow. He'd been telling anyone in earshot of him for years that a shinobi should have excellent physical skill; it had really been for the children's benefit more than anything else. Sure C-rank and D-rank missions were supposedly supposed to be for such beginner teams to easily accomplish, but hot damn Sakura probably only knew how to throw kunai and do the academy three. In other words a complete liability in the field, no matter how creative she could be with ninja-wire and traps. Stubborn children God- don't say the lord's name in vain. He took a breath.

"Don't worry about it Sakura-chan, I'm sure you'll do fine. Say, why don't we go out to eat somewhere and stratemigize like Sasuke says." Sasuke squinted. Naruto knew the word strategize. Dammit he really needed to grind those dumb jokes out of him, people already thought he was an idiot. There was no reason to make it worse. Sakura was turning an angry red hue.

"NO NARUTO I DON'T WANT TO GO OUT WITH YOU! I HATE YOU!" Sakura's angry scream echoed across the rooftop. Her angry visage withered into a pale, terrified expression when she looked Sasuke's way. He was absolutely fucking livid and it showed. He could feel his Sharingan glowing and spinning, terrifying the poor girl into submission under the cruel eyes of hatred. He didn't care how anxious she was about the exam. He didn't care how frustrated she might be from his lack of attention. He didn't even care that she was probably the loneliest girl in her class for making perfect scores and ending her friendship with Ino over him. She had hurt his friend, repeatedly, when all he wanted was to take her out on his own dime. Just to show her a good time. Puppy love.

"S-sasuke I-I-"

"Shut the fuck up Sakura."

Naruto whipped his head between them with an agonized expression, clearly conflicted on what to do. It wasn't like he was an expert on interpersonal relations. Sakura simply burst into tears.

"Go cry somewhere else you feckless wretch."

"Sasuke! Man, uncool!"

She fled and he did not care. Naruto followed and he told him that he'd be waiting here. He came back with a dejected expression, nay, a depressed one. Sasuke didn't ask what she said to him as he sat down.

"I'm sorry Sasuke." Sasuke's head whipped to him in confoundment.

"What?"

"If I hadn't been here you guys would have gotten along fine. I screw everything up."

What in the sacred blue fuck had Sakura told him. Unacceptable, this would not stand.

"Fuck no, listen to me Naruto," his head barely raised, "Sakura should be apologizing, not you." he said with finality. He looked at the ground and whispered something which I had sincerely hoped not to hear.

"She said it must have been nice to not have parents to nag at me."

Motherfucker. How the fuck could she say that to an orphan. Sasuke remembers this happening in the anime but he didn't think it would come about this soon. Perhaps his good relationship with Naruto had spurred it on but still; had she no compassion? Sasuke quickly tried to move on.

"Come Naruto, let's strategize. Come!"

With his urging they went to Ichiraku's and strategized over some ramen, but Sasuke could tell Naruto's heart wasn't in it. The plan they concocted was solid. The emotional state of the team was definitely not. Ah, melodrama. It wasn't so interesting experiencing it first hand as it was reading it. He bade Naruto farewell at the ramen stand, and went home troubled by the day's events. When he arrived at his home the sky was just beginning to gain the hues of the evening. Though it was not but an hour before he heard a-knocking at his door. Huh? Naruto was really the only person who visited him, well Shikamaru and the third Hokage occasionally visited to play Shogi or Go, but seldom guests notwithstanding no one but the orange brat had that close of a relationship with him. At the door he could hear a hushed conversation taking place that distinctly sounded like Sakura begging someone in tears to leave. Uh-oh. No way. He opened the door to awkward silence.

An older woman greeted him. She had some sort of strange blond hair-do and wore a very similar qipao dress to Sakura, except white and red instead of red and white, three red circles across the front.

"Uchiha-san." she said with a deep frown.

"Haruno-san." her frown deepened.

"Mom please-" Sakura's mother held up her hand and Sakura instantly silenced herself. This was going to be über annoying.

"As you may have guessed, I'm Mebuki Haruno Sakura's mother." if she was waiting for him to bow he would not be doing so.

"And?" her nostrils flared as she turned as red as a tomato.

"And? And! And you have a lot to explain, making my daughter come home in tears on what should have been a happy day!" Sakura looked like she was seriously considering seppuku. Sasuke reared his head back and began laughing maniacally as both women looked at him like he was crazy.

"Should I explain how I've received countless unwanted advances from your daughter. Should I explain how she treats my best friend like shit on her sandals? Should I explain how just today she said it must be nice to not be nagged at by his parents. The orphan." Mebuki actually cringed at that while Sakura flinched at "unwanted" as if she was struck with tears welling in her eyes. There was an awkward silence as Sakura started sobbing behind her hands and her mother looked incredibly embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" she began to mumble incoherently

"Apology accepted, show up ten minutes before 8 a.m. tomorrow, eat a good breakfast. Goodbye." he slammed the door shut and strained his ears, curious.

"..."

"Sob, sob, sob."

"...Did you really say that Sakura?" Sakura simply sobbed harder. Sasuke kinda felt bad. A little. That first bit had also been an exaggeration, she'd only asked him out thrice. Infinitely less than Ino. Persistent blonds must have been a trend.

"Oof, let's go get something nice to eat. I'm sure your father wouldn't mind."

And they walked away. Holy shit he was tired. What did I do to deserve this fuckery?

With that thought he went to finish up his night.