Things are going to grow more intense after this chapter

Raven walked the lengthy corridor from the throne room to the kitchens with Balin. She rubbed at her wrists, silent from the inner turmoil raging around inside of her like a monstrous storm cloud! She listened to Balin talk about everything and nothing.

Fifteen minutes had passed! Raven realized Balin had all but quit talking. When she turned her eyes on his, he was looking at her expectantly, waiting for her to say something. When she didn't, Balin placed a comforting hand upon her arm.

"I'm sorry, Balin." Raven tore her gaze away. "I was off in my own thoughts, I guess." She expected the Elder Darrow to get angry, when he did the complete opposite: compassion and understanding turned his brown eyes to mush when sadness crept over his face.

"I understand, lassie." Balin patted her arm. "You have had quite the ordeal in just the short amount of time you have been in Ered Luin."

Raven changed the subject. "I'm surprised you believe me."

"About what?"

"Who I am."

Balin furrowed his eyes in confusion. "Why would I not believe you?"

"I have been gone for so long. Then one night, a strange woman arrives, claiming to be the adopted daughter of two Dwarves." Raven spun her words so Balin could see how and why the situation would be viewed from the outside. Not that the Elder Dwarrow needed to understand that; he already knew. Still, Raven had spun her words also for her own….benefit, pointing out why she would think the thoughts she was thinking.

In understanding, "I can see how that would make you feel the things you are feeling."

Raven changed the subject. "What were my parents like?"

"OH, Lassie!" Balin smiled hugely. "Your parents were wonderful! Your father, Elmador, was a minor with a prankster streak running through his veins. He reminded me so much of Fili and Kili's father, Vallin - I could have sworn they were brothers! Elmador also resembled the same personality traits as Thorin and Frerin combined: honorable, loving, caring, kind, daring, hopeful - the list goes on! But when Elmador met your mother, Ester, the warrior side of him came out: protective, stern to those around him when he was with her, making sure no one stepped out of line when she was with him."

"Same personality traits as Thorin, huh?" Raven's tone held a lot of disbelief. "You're going to have to remind me again what some of Thorin's personality traits are, Balin. I seemed to have long since forgotten as I have been gone for so long - ending up being greeted with practically a cold shoulder by the one Dwarf I looked forward to seeing the most after all of these years." The situation with Thorin still held a bit of sour in her heart and soul. The things he had said to her back in the throne room had all but caused her to put up walls of protection against him when she saw exactly just how much he had changed! Raven willed herself not to cry again! She wouldn't shed tears for a Dwarf who all but had become a stranger to her in mere moments.

"Frerin also bore the same personality traits as your father as well," Balin gently reminded her as a way of silently saying: did you forget the part where I mentioned the younger brother? No, Raven hadn't forgotten. Any mention of Thorin at the moment turned her mood in the opposite direction.

Raven switched the conversation about her father over to her mother, having the slightest instinct Balin was about to do that anyways. "What about my mother?" Her hand rose to grasp the pendant that now lay against the warmth of her chest where it belonged; glad to feel the familiar weight around her neck from the semi-heavy pendant.

"Ester was……fearless." Balin smiled when he iterated the single word again. "Fearless. But she was also kind, and she adored your father just as much as he adored her! Your mother loved to be around children the most! She had always dreamt of being a mother, but her body struggled with being pregnant. Her heart broke every time she saw blood running down her legs and felt her body naturally disposing of the babe. Still, she tried to conceive a child of her own - being around all of the Dwarven children kept that spark of hope alive in her heart! Your father finally told her enough, despite the fact that he wanted so much for her to carry his child - to give birth to his own flesh and blood. But it was not meant to be, as the healers warned your mother that if she tried to conceive anymore, the toll would bring an even greater damage upon her body - possibly even her life. So Elmador was careful whenever he fulfilled that part of himself to her."

Raven felt tears swell within her eyes. "Then what?" She urged.

"After Ester was given the diagnosis by the healers, she became…..distant."

"Distant how?" Raven urged even harder.

"Depression slowly sank in. She wasn't the same happy Dwarrodam after her diagnosis. She began to feel like she was a waste - that she had been wasted. She barely ate and sleep was always distant from her. Her heart began to slowly harden. If one were to hear about this ordeal - not knowing the full story, one would think that Ester was being a bit too dramatic, as it's easy to see things like that on the outside without knowing the full story. But Ester didn't know how else to cope with the diagnosis she had been given. All she could do was try her best to deal with the cards she had been dealt."

"But?" Raven prompted, eager for more.

"Your father had the patience of a saint when it came to your mother. He was always quiet and observant whenever she talked to him about everything she was feeling - when she did talk to him about what she felt, that is. Your mother had reached a point where she had begun to keep your father at arms length from time to time. Not because she quit loving him, goodness no. She kept your father at arms length from time to time because physical touch seemed to warrant her depression and cause her pain. It hurt your mother terribly to keep him at arm's length, but she was dealing with the situation that had been dealt to her as best she could."

"Was my mother scared?"

"Of your father? No. She just simply didn't know how to handle the situation she had been put in." Balin smiled. "But your father - whenever he and your mother were alone in their private chambers - or just alone in general, your father would delicately - and I mean very delicately touch your mother lovingly. He had refused to allow her to continue wallowing in her sadness and depression all because of not knowing how to handle the situation she was in. And then….." Tears fell down Balin's face as the best memory he saved to tell at the end suddenly flowed through his memory.

"About a year or two afterwards, Elmador got wind of a……unique child. Needing parents all because of losing her own mother." He gave Raven a sideways glance when he shifted his eyes. "The child had been fully grown when she and her mother somehow ended up in Middle-Earth, but due to having a bounty on their head, the five Wizards of Middle-Earth - after having found the woman and her mother, cared for the woman and her mother while the mother came down with some sort of illness. But soon, the mother began dying, and word of the bounty on their heads was spreading like wild fire. So, the only thing the five Wizards could think to do was turn back time by turning the woman into a little girl again and scramble her brain so she wouldn't be able to remember anything."

Tears fell down Raven's face as Balin retold her the same story Ester had wrote in the journal for her to read. "That's why I came to Ered Luin to begin with." Her tone was bitter.

Balin gave her a sad look. He paused their walking. Turning to face her squarely, he gently framed her face between his hands. "You have grown up so beautifully my dear. Your parents would be proud of you. Everyone will be happy to see you again."

"Not everyone." Raven pointed out, not needing to say the name of the Dwarf she had longed to see again the most.

Deciding to put the sensitive topic to rest for the time being, Balin simply said, "Thorin will come around, my dear. Just give him time."