WARNING: This chapter revisits some mentions of miscarriage and grief.

Chapter 77

The Burrow was as bustling and as loud as ever. The kerfuffle was like a sweet melody to Ron these days, the squeals of Victoire and Dominique being chased by Teddy Lupin while little Molly babbled as she took in her surroundings with wide, curious eyes.

Then there was the chatter of the adults, everyone catching up with each other after months of their own lives taking over.

Once, the Weasleys had done everything together, but now, not so much. So when times like these came, they had to make the most of them, because it wouldn't happen again for a few more months.

Ron and Hermione were among the first to arrive for this winter get together, after Bill and Fleur and their children, and Harry and Ginny, who'd brought along Teddy to give Andromeda a break from what she now deemed the demon child.

He wasn't a bad kid, just more energetic than a sixty-something year old could keep up with. Lately, Harry had been offering more time with the boy — good practice, he said. Especially with a boy.

While Harry shouted at Teddy to stop tormenting the girls, Ginny sat deep in the sofa, cradling her ever-growing belly, and smiling fondly at what she seemed to deem Harry's apt parenting skills. Ron thought he looked more like a fish out of water, but it wasn't his place to say that. Harry would have to learn to be firmer with his own kid than he was with Teddy.

"Hi, Mum," Ron said, giving his smiling mother a hug. "How are you?"

"Well, thanks, Ron," Molly replied. "Really well, actually. So glad that Charlie can come today. He's making more and more trips back home these days. I do wonder if he's getting bored of Romania and is wanting to return."

Ron thought that to be wishful thinking, and it was more likely that the older their parents got, the less Charlie could ignore his mother's pleas to come and visit her. After all, he probably couldn't help but wonder if it would be the last time he saw them. Not that Ron thought either of his parents were getting that old just yet.

"Maybe, Mum," he said, smiling. "That'd be nice."

Molly greeted Hermione with just as much warmth and then turned to do the same with George, who'd just appeared from the fireplace.

Ron settled into a sofa opposite Ginny, Hermione beside him.

"You're here early," he said to his sister and Harry.

"Not much to do when you've been at home doing nothing for four months," Ginny said, an edge of bitterness in her voice.

"Still coming over here every other day?" Ron teased.

"Again, not much else to do." Ginny shrugged.

"Oh, don't tease her, Ron," Molly said. "She has been away for so long. I'm glad to have her back home for a while."

Ginny didn't seem to share the sentiment, but she kept her mouth shut. Apparently Molly — who had not gotten the same chance with Fleur and Audrey — had been sharing her unsolicited advice about pregnancy with Ginny, which had annoyed Ginny more than helped.

In Ron's opinion, his mother had birthed seven children, so he considered her a very knowledgeable source, but according to Ginny, her ideas of parenthood were very different to their mother's. Ginny was very relaxed about it all, she was taking every day as it came, and she didn't seem bothered by anything. Molly seemed to think with four months to go, she should be preparing for the baby to be born any moment.

Personally, Ron didn't know why Ginny kept coming over when she knew what was going to happen. Maybe she secretly enjoyed the company of her parents when she didn't have Harry's.

Charlie arrived a short while later, which meant everyone was there and they all fell into their usual rhythm of chatter and separate conversations.

Ron and Hermione were talking to Harry, Ginny and his mother about baby things — a fairly regular topic these days.

"We are planning to actually have a serious look at things in the coming weeks," Ginny said. "I mean… baby things. It's just so hard to do it… discreetly." She looked over to Harry, who nodded. "I mean, I asked the Harpies to state my absence as family matters and I've laid low, but if I step out in public —" she indicated her belly, "— it will be in the gossip magazines within days."

"Maybe you should just announce it?" Hermione suggested. "I mean… publicly. "

Both Harry and Ginny grimaced.

Hermione leaned forward in the armchair slightly. "I'm serious," she said. "You can't hide forever. You're either going to be seen in public while you're pregnant, or you'll be seen in a few months with a baby. People are going to work it out eventually, and you may as well make it on your own terms. You can't not leave your house."

Ron, as usual, thought Hermione was one hundred percent correct. The general population would learn of it eventually, just like they'd learnt of Harry and Ginny's wedding despite them doing their best to keep it secret. Word always got out, and to be honest, he was surprised Ginny's long absence from the Harpies hadn't sparked rumours already.

Harry and Ginny shared another look.

"I think you're silly for not sharing it," Molly said. "It's something to be happy about, not ashamed."

"We're not ashamed!" Ginny snapped. "We just don't want cameras in our faces twenty-four seven when we are out trying to buy clothes for our child. It's bad enough trying to get food."

"Well, they'd just be excited," Molly protested.

"Nosey, more like it," Ron muttered.

"Thank you," Harry and Ginny said together. Harry gave him a gentle smile, which Ron returned.

Ron could not imagine what it must be like for them on a day-to-day basis. He'd heard some stories, and it didn't sound pleasant, people wanting to talk to Ginny about Quidditch, still giving Harry adoring looks for saving the wizarding world… he couldn't imagine the sort of crazy they'd experience if the world found out Harry Potter was having a baby.

"Oh, don't be like that, Ron," Molly said, now sounding slightly put out by her children taking sides against her. "It is exciting."

Ron shrugged and settled into the sofa, resting his hand on Hermione's knee comfortingly. "For us, yeah, but also for Harry's fans and that's when it gets tricky."

Molly had nothing to say to that, so she turned her attention to Hermione now. "And what about you, dear?" she said.

Hermione frowned. "What about me?" she asked, sounding wary.

Molly seemed to choose her words carefully, perhaps sensing Hermione's uncertain reply. "You and Ron, dear. You've been married for a while now. I was just wondering if the pair of you have thought about having children."

A very uncomfortable silence fell over them. They still hadn't told Ron's extended family about the miscarriage, and now did not seem like the most appropriate time to tell them, when everyone was so cheerful.

Hermione averted her gaze, and Ron kept his on Hermione.

It was Ginny who spoke first. "Mum, not everyone has to have a baby the moment they get married anymore."

"I know that!" Molly snapped at Ginny. "But there's no harm in asking."

There was a lot of harm in asking, but no one knew how to tell her that.

"You can't just ask people stuff like that." Ginny spoke calmly, not accusingly, but there was still the warning in her tone to not go further. Ron was grateful for it — even more thankful that there were people in their lives that knew. He wouldn't have known what to say to his mother on his own. "It's… it's personal."

"I'm your mother, Ron," Molly said. "Surely I'm allowed to ask a question. All I'm asking is have the two of you thought about having children."

Ron opened his mouth, but no words came out. No one else said anything either.

In that moment, Molly seemed to realise she may have overstepped her mark. "Of course, there's no pressure," she said hurriedly. "I think it's just something you should be thinking about, Ron. And I more mean… do you want to or not. Obviously not when you should, if that's not something either of you want, of course…" She seemed to hesitate, barely hiding her disappointment at the prospect of another one of her children not wanting to have children. She'd already given up on Charlie, and he'd heard her mutter a few times about George never finding a partner at the rate he was going either.

"I know you both have jobs, but your brothers — and your sister — all also have jobs and they seem to be doing just fine with balancing work and parenthood, so if that's your concern, well… I don't think it's too much to be worried about. You're both smart, practical people. I'm sure you could manage… if that's what you wanted, of course."

There was another silence. From where he sat, Ron could see Ginny's mouth moving but no words coming out. Harry looked like he had no idea what to say and Hermione… Hermione had her head down, her hands trembling slightly, and it went completely unnoticed by his mother.

He shifte, realising that he'd have to be the one to speak. "Maybe one day, Mum. For now, we're good." He squeezed Hermione's knee, where his hand still rested.

Molly said. "Oh, I do get that!" Molly answered. "I do. Hermione is doing such wonderful things in her office — making so many fantastic changes. I love seeing your name come up in the Prophet every other day. And the way you've helped Muggleborns, house-elves, and everything… it's wonderful. It is. I really couldn't be prouder of you, Hermione."

Ron reached for Hermione's hand, hoping his mum would notice them trembling, but... as much as he loved his mother, this was one of her major flaws. Sometimes she just didn't know where to draw the line in involving herself in other people's business — particularly the business of her children.

"Mum…" Ginny warned.

"I'm not saying it has to be tomorrow, of course. I just think — if the two of you want your own family, then you're at the age where you should start thinking about it. I had at least three at your age. I know, I know, times have changed, but there are just some things that need to be done early."

Again no one spoke. Rather than change the subject, when Molly noticed their discomfort, she decided to ask, "Do you want children?"

Anger surged in Ron. He noticed his brothers' quiet conversations fade as their conversation was finally overheard. Their eyes kept flickering over, and he even saw his dad make an attempt to intervene but think better of it.

He squeezed Hermione's hand tight.

"What if we don't?" The words were out of Ron's mouth before he knew what he was saying. That was one of his flaws. He spoke before his brain had time to contemplate his words. "You keep telling us it's a choice, but you're making big assumptions that that's something we actually want to do."

This gave Molly pause. Her mouth shut and her eyes widened, looking between Ron and Hermione. She finally seemed to notice Hermione's distress. She had the decency to look guilty.

"I didn't mean to cause any discomfort," she said. "I did just assume… well, I suppose I should have guessed that maybe you wouldn't. You know, Hermione so high up in her career. Of course you wouldn't want to lose all that with raising a child…"

Ron realised that was his mother's attempt at apologising, but it had done nothing to alleviate the awkwardness. Hermione was fighting back tears, and his anger had reached new heights within seconds. It was partly his fault, for saying what he'd just said, but she'd brought the topic up to begin with when she shouldn't have.

"Mum," he said, his voice stiff. "That has nothing to do with it."

Molly was looking at Hermione now, seeming to finally understand that she'd said the wrong thing. Guilt flushed over her face and she shrank back ever so slightly, as if stung.

"Oh, Ron, I didn't mean…"

"Maybe when you're asked to shut it, do that!" Ron snapped. He placed his arm across Hermione and drew her towards him. She'd been so happy lately. Why did his mother have to go and ruin it with her careless words?

The rest of the room was completely quiet now. All watching as Ron did his best to keep his anger under control.

Molly sat there, looking lost. "I honestly didn't mean to upset anyone."

"Read the room, then," Ron continued furiously. "And seeing as you're here and you're asking, I suppose you should know that we do want to have a baby. In fact, we've wanted one for a long time now, but it hasn't been easy."

"Ron —"

"And when we did have one, we lost it."

"Ron, you don't have to —" Ginny began as Molly's face changed from guilt to complete remorse.

Ron ignored her. "So now you know," he said to his mum. "Happy? Does that satisfy you enough now to know where we are at?"

There was more silence. A complete and very uncomfortable silence as everyone seemed unable to find the right words to say. A moment ago, only two other people in the room had known, but now… everyone knew what had happened to them, and strangely, Ron didn't feel at all relieved. In fact, he felt angrier over what had happened than he ever had before.

Eventually, it was Molly who broke the silence. "Ron… Hermione… I'm so very sorry. If I'd known…"

"You do now," Ron said. "Are you happy?"

"Of course I'm not."

"Then next time don't come at us about our lives, Mum." Ron stood, fists clenched. "We aren't you and it's not your business. We never told you, nor did we intend to, because we shouldn't have to. We shouldn't have to tell you anything about that and you have no right to ask. It's our life, not yours, and we are free to do what we want. Married or not married, kids or no kids. It doesn't matter."

He glanced over at Harry and Ginny, who were both wearing sympathetic expressions. Everyone else still looked a little stunned to say or do anything.

Sucking in a deep breath, trying to calm himself, he took in the people staring at him. He was the only one standing and he suddenly felt foolish even though he knew he was in the right. "Excuse me," he said, and he left the space that not a few moments ago had been filled with happy chatter.

He made for the stairs, taking them two at a time until he reached the first landing. He contemplated going up higher, up to his old room, but he chose to sit under the doorframe to his parents' room instead.

Already he felt calmer, like he shouldn't have gone off like that, but why did his mother have to insist on her children living the life that she wanted? Why did she — even now — have to be so invested in their lives? It came from a good place, he knew that, but he didn't want to have been forced to tell her — to tell everyone — what had happened like that. He'd needed to do it in his own time, to find the words to explain.

He should have known — he had known — that she would one day ask them that question. But he'd just thought that by the time she did, they'd have something better to tell her.

He heard footsteps making their way up to the first landing. He dreaded it being his mother, hoped it was Hermione, and thought it was probably Harry.

So he was shocked when he found George sitting beside him.

"You alright?" George asked, and for once he sounded dead serious. There was no laughter in his voice, nothing to suggest he was on the brink of teasing Ron. He was genuinely asking Ron if he was alright.

"Feeling a bit stupid, but yeah," Ron replied.

"I don't think you were stupid to go off at Mum," George said. "Someone had to say it eventually. She's even been dropping hints my way, asking me every time I see her if I've met a nice girl yet and so on and so forth. She means well, she just wants us to be happy, I think. You know, having seven kids made her happy, so she thinks that that is what'll make us all happy. We're her pride and joy."

Ron nodded, but didn't speak.

"I'm sorry for you and Hermione," George continued. "That must have been rough for you to go through — especially if it's something you've been wanting for a while."

"It was a while ago now. We're good now. I mean… sort of. I thought, anyway. I suppose just having to say outloud to everyone else how hard everything was… is. But… you all know now."

"Not exactly exciting news, is it? Are you sure you're okay? I mean… really?"

Ron shrugged. "I dunno. Do I think about what happened every day? Sure. Do I continue to dwell on it? Not all the time."

"But sometimes?"

"I guess." Ron sighed, leaning his head against the frame. It felt weird talking to George about something like this, and yet… it didn't. "I spent so much of the beginning looking after Hermione, that I never gave myself time to really process it. She took it really hard and I needed to be there for her. I thought I'd dealt with it, but having to talk about it again just brought all that anger back. We tried for so long with nothing happening, and when it did… I just really wanted this, you know? I felt… feel… ready and it sucks having it taken away when it seems to be so easy for everyone else."

"Don't let it eat away at you." George said seriously. "I've not been exactly in your position, so that's the only advice I can give. I know it's different, and I know that when we lost Fred, we all lost Fred, but… you've got to deal with the grief and not let it build up until it almost destroys you."

"I have. I mean, I'm trying. I… I thought I was okay, I really did. I am, I think."

George nodded, but said nothing more. Ron took the time to contemplate his brother's words — they were just about the nicest and most sensible ones George had ever said to him. He thought George was right, though — he couldn't let it build up.

Things were better, but he couldn't help but wonder if he'd ever fully get over it — or if Hermione would. There was still a very large part of him that wished he'd known about the baby beforehand. He didn't blame Hermione for not telling him — how could she have known? — but maybe knowing would have helped him to figure out his feelings sooner or understand them better now.

"How's Hermione?" he suddenly asked after a lengthy silence. Guilt crept up on him as he realised what it must have felt like for her to have her husband — her biggest supporter — get up and walk out. It was she who should have had the right to leave, not him. She wasn't even Molly's child.

"She's fine," George said, shrugging. "She seemed to be, anyway. I think she was just a little shocked at how fast Mum locked in on her."

Ron nodded. "I should go back. See her… see Mum."

"You know Mum has to apologise to you, don't you?" George said as Ron stood up. "She was wrong, and for what it's worth, she knows it. In the space it took me to walk from the room and up here, I think she'd apologised to Hermione at least ten times." He also stood up and followed Ron back down the stairs.

Before they reached the living room, Ron felt his brother's hand on his shoulder. Ron turned, looking George in the eye.

"Once," George began, his face serious, "if things were different, I might have teased you relentlessly for you ever being in a relationship, let alone planning a kid or two."

"Thanks," Ron said.

"But that was before a war nearly broke us all. We're all different now, me included." He squeezed Ron's shoulder warmly and smiled. "You helped me when I didn't think anyone could, so I just want to say thanks for that. I don't think I ever said it. And just know that if you ever need to talk about what's going on in your head… well, I'll be happy to return the favour."

Ron said nothing. All he could do was stare at George, wondering exactly where this sudden outpouring of gratitude had come from. It wasn't like this was the first time they'd spoken about Fred. They spoke at least once a week, and more often than not, Fred came up.

George seemed to realise he might have been getting a little too deep. He laughed. "What I'm trying to say is, because of that, rather than making fun of you for everything, I'll instead say that whenever you and Hermione do have a kid — and I reckon you will — you'll… well, I think you'll make a great dad. You'll be there for them, like you were there for me, or Harry, or Hermione. They'll be lucky to have you." He shrugged. "Just thought I'd mention that."

"Thanks," Ron said, not quite making sense of what he was hearing. His chest swelled slightly, feeling affection for George that had always been there but had never quite reached the surface. He loved George and had grown closer to him over the years since losing Fred, but his memories were still filled with years and years of relentless teasing, of teddy bears being turned into spiders, of being forced to almost make an Unbreakable Vow. Had George just… apologised for that?

George smiled and nodded. "This conversation stays between us, though, alright? I don't want word getting around that we've talked."

Ron smiled, realising George was joking, and nodded. "Your secret's safe. And… thanks," he said again. "That's good of you to say."

They returned to the living room and the moment Ron stepped into it, Molly jumped up from the sofa and opened her mouth before Ron could stop her. She threw herself into his arms and Ron had no choice but to hug her as she sobbed.

"Oh, Ron, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Hermione has told me everything now. I should never have… oh, I'll never say anything again. To you or anyone. I've learnt my lesson."

Ron looked around the room, his mother's small figure holding on tight. There was more amusement than shock now, including Hermione, who was smiling at him. Her face was clear — there were no tears.

"Er… it's alright, Mum." Ron patted her back and then pulled himself out of her tight hold. "You didn't know."

Molly sniffed, looking up at Ron with watery, yet affectionate, eyes. Ron didn't want to give her a chance to apologise anymore, so he stepped past her and towards Hermione.

He gathered her in his arms, but she really did seem okay to the point that he wondered if he'd imagined her shaking against him before.

"Sorry I left," he said quietly.

"I understand," she whispered back. She smiled up at him, and now Ron was certain he'd imagined her reaction before. Tears didn't line her face. She was calm, collected. It was as if she'd never been upset to begin with.

"Are you… alright?" he said, just to make sure.

She nodded and then reached up to kiss his cheek. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Ron said. "Yeah, I am." He offered a smile that he meant.

"I'm glad people know now," she whispered.

People had returned to their smaller conversations, leaving Ron and Hermione to have a few private moments. Ron noticed his mother had disappeared all together, and Audrey was quizzing Ginny about one thing or another, bouncing little Molly on her knee.

"I'm glad, too, then," he said, and he found himself actually meaning it. Especially after talking to George. The sudden burst of anger he'd felt towards his mother's interference was gone completely — a random, last outburst in trying to understand what had happened to them, he reasoned — and he was back to feeling as he had half an hour ago. Happy, content with where his life was, and happy for his best friend and sister.

They both sat back on the sofa, Hermione curling up against Ron ever so slightly. They still sat opposite Ginny and Harry, and after watching them for a moment, he laughed quietly.

"What's so funny?" Hermione questioned, lifting her head slightly.

"Well, there are some benefits for us that they —" he nodded over to Harry and Ginny, "— don't have."

Hermione waited patiently for him to continue.

"We can't really cuddle up like this when you're the size of a Hippogriff."

Hermione gave him a whack across the chest, but he'd said it so quietly that no one else — especially Ginny — had heard. He grinned, drawing Hermione even closer to him.

"I'll love you no matter what," he assured her. "Promise."

He felt, more than saw, her smile.

Ah, sorry everyone for the delay of this chapter. I know I said I wasn't going to post last week because I was going away, but rather than going on a holiday, I spent a quiet week at home with our good friend COVID. Thankfully I (nor my husband or daughter) had no symptoms so it was mostly just us staying at home doing nothing. I don't do well out of routine so couldn't find the energy to post anyway.

Then, last night I was suffering from a migraine and went to bed at 7:30pm lol!

But I'm here now. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'll see you next week.