Chapter 22: When Bandicoots Collide!
"Alright, I think that's everything," Barista mused as she closed the suitcase Megumi had loaned her, having just finished packing it. She glanced around the apartment's bedroom as she stood there at the edge of the bed. "Can't believe I'm finally going back, especially after calling this place home for so long." A wave of sadness then washed over her. "I'm gonna miss this place." She glanced at the currently closed door that led to the bathroom. "I'm gonna miss her."
"…And then the comedian said, 'Come on, people! This is the most basic of jokes!' and without missing a beat, I called out, 'You're the most basic of jokes!' and everyone in the crowd just cracked up laughing," Tawna was saying as Barista entered the living room, Crash, Coco and Dingodile seated around her, Aku Aku and the Quantum Masks floating overhead. "Oh, man, that was a good night."
"Yeah, an' them fancy snacks they had at the event weren't half bad, either," Dingodile commented. "Those little chocolate things with the whipped cream… Whaddaya call 'em? Eclairs?"
"Oh, yeah, I had one of those once," Coco said brightly before suddenly looking embarrassed. "That's how I found out that sugar makes me…" She blushed. "A little hyper."
Crash gave a great snort beside his sister, and Tawna knew exactly why.
"Ha! A little?! From what I heard, you were bouncing off the walls!" the adventurous bandicoot from another dimension exclaimed. "My Coco was no different; once she got into the toffees, there was always hell to pay."
"Well, I'm…" Barista started hesitantly, garnering the group's attention. "I'm ready, I guess," the bat girl mumbled somewhat awkwardly, glancing behind her as she said it, hearing the shower water running in the distance. Megumi hadn't left the bathroom since the two roommates had gotten back to the apartment and Barista had told the azure-haired bandicoot what she intended to do. The coffee bat was starting to grow a little worried; was Megumi mad at her for deciding to just leave on short notice? They had been starting to grow close to one another, after all - perhaps closer than either of them were willing to admit…
"Alrighty! Let's get one o' them rift thingies going!" Dingodile said, getting to his feet and knocking a vase of flowers off the coffee table with his crocodile tail in the process, Crash reaching forward to catch it just in time, the bandicoot boy fumbling clumsily with the ceramic object before hurriedly setting it down and wiping a trace of sweat from his brow, relieved that he hadn't dropped the thing. "I wanna see if the grub in Barista's homeland is as good as it is here in the city!"
"Steady, my guy," Tawna told him. "We can't just open a quantum rift in an apartment like this; poor Meggy will probably lose half of her furniture to the void if we do that. We'll head outside first."
"It would indeed be reckless to begin opening rifts haphazardly," Aku Aku inputted, the floating mask giving a gesture that may have been a nod in agreement.
"Aye, we'd best be mindful of our surroundings," Kapuna-Wa chimed in. "Time is not a toy; it can make a right mess of things when improperly used, as those daft ninnies in gold armour demonstrated not all that long ago."
"Just another day if you ask me," Ika-Ika's pessimistic side said with a gloomy sigh before literally flipping over to his more positive persona. "Oh, nonsense. Time travel is like any aspect in life: An adventure to be had and cherished!"
"Discretion," Akano said sternly, giving Ika-Ika a firm look.
"I agree with Akano," Lani-Loli said, looking as nervous as ever. "Better safe than sorry."
Crash reached the apartment's front door ahead of the rest of the group and pulled it open, allowing everyone to file through in turn. Barista was last in line, turning to glance back at the apartment one last time, seeing everything in a new light. The sofa. The flat-screen TV. The balcony window. The kitchen with the coffee machine that she had practically made a claim on. It was all just… It was just…
Barista set her suitcase down and wiped her eyes, tears suddenly streaming from them. She then felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Hey," Tawna said to her gently, "It's not goodbye forever. Once we make sure things are settled in your world, we'll all come back and have a big homecoming party. Y'know, assuming Megumi won't mind the crowd… or the mess."
"Oh, it is being just like that, is it?" Megumi suddenly chimed in loudly, stepping out of the bedroom doorway as she spoke, fixing the white ribbons in her freshly shampooed hair as she stood there in her pale blue Nitro Squad hoodie, a small white backpack slung over one shoulder. "Not if I come to Barista's world and wreck up her living arrangements first!" she then went on cheekily, a broad grin stretching across her furry orange visage.
Barista's eyes widened. "You mean…?" she asked, hardly daring to believe it.
"But of course! I am not going to just stand idly by while my little Garnet is off on some wild adventure into a world full of big, angry Titans that make North look like a puppy! I may detest violence, but if I have to dirty my hands to make sure you are safe, Barista, then I—!" The rest of her words were cut off, however, as Barista had suddenly wrapped her arms around Megumi in a tight hug.
"I knew you weren't mad at me," the bat girl sniffed, staring up at her roommate with a tearful smile.
"Of course I am not being mad! Why would I be mad?" Megumi exclaimed, playfully tousling Barista's purple hair. "If anything, I am being mad about the idea of finally seeing where you came from - excited mad," she elaborated, her words causing Barista to break down into joyous sobs. From over by the apartment's front door, Tawna, Coco, Crash and the masks smiled knowingly, whereas Dingodile just looked confused.
"I don't get it. Meggy said she was coming with us, an' I thought Barista would be happy 'bout that," he said cluelessly before shaking his head. "Bah! Women," he then declared before turning away, Tawna, Coco and Kapuna-Wa all meeting each other's gaze before rolling their eyes knowingly.
The quantum rift opened above the wooden bridge-like walkway that connected the small neighbourhood of cottages that made up the Bandicoot Sanctuary to the deeper part of Wumpa Jungle and the group landed one by one on the boardwalk, Crash, Coco and Tawna leading the charge, Aku Aku and the Quantum Masks following behind them, Barista and Megumi coming next and Dingodile bringing up the rear.
"I swear them rifts are gettin' smaller an' smaller," Dingodile grumbled as he glanced behind him in time to see the portal vanish. "Or maybe I've just been eating too many Dagwood sandwiches lately," he then decided, reaching down with one hand to jiggle his portly belly, which wobbled like a gelatine dessert. Tawna shook her head in amusement as she glanced back at her partner, unable to keep the knowing smirk off her face.
"So this is your world?" Coco asked Barista, but the bat girl didn't seem to be listening. She was staring at the scenery before her - the great tree that seemed to be at the centre of everything, the waterfall just down the path, the remains of both the gigantic robot and space station that littered the shoreline…
…And the little cottage with the orange roof built into the side of the great tree.
"I'm home," she whispered. Then she suddenly raced forward, letting out a whoop of joy. "I'M HOME!" she shouted. She hurried down to the stream as Tawna and the others watched, reaching down with cupped hands to splash some of the water on her face, grinning broadly as the cool, clear liquid met her fur-covered visage. "Yep, this is real, not a dream!" she declared, causing Tawna, Coco, Crash, Megumi and the masks to laugh knowingly while Dingodile just rolled his eyes.
"You'd think she'd never seen spring water before," he said, earning him a punch in the shoulder from Tawna. "Ow! What gives?!"
"Try to be a little more sensitive, will you?" the bandicoot woman hissed. "She thought she'd never see this place again."
"It really is quite nice here," Coco mused as she gazed around. "Y'know, aside from all the… space junk. Seriously, what's up with that?"
"Judging by the recurring emblem," Aku Aku said, noticing the letter 'N' branded on much of the metallic trash that littered the shoreline, "I'm guessing that this world's version of Doctor Cortex had a hand in this mess."
"It is certainly a little more rustic than I was expecting," Megumi admitted, taking in the surrounding scenery. Looking past the literal trash heap, the water that flowed around the area seemed untainted, which prompted her to smile; it was nice to get away from the city and see the beauty of nature once in a while. "I imagine that this place was being truly beautiful before all the clutter got involved."
"They must be inside," Barista said as she turned away from the stream and focused her gaze on the orange-roofed cottage, speaking more to herself than her cohorts. "Crunch! Crash! Coco! Aku Aku! It's me, Barista!" she called as she jogged up to the house, soon bursting through the front door. "I'm back! I came back!" she cried excitedly. Her face fell, however, when she saw that there was nobody home. Her smile then gradually returned as she saw that the interior of the small domicile was exactly as she remembered it: The big wooden chest containing Crash of the Titans' spare sets of shorts, the furnace in the corner of the room, the stack of comic books on the table…
…And the blue hammock hanging from the rafters overhead. Barista couldn't help but beam up at the sight of it. That smile then turned mischievous as an idea occurred to her.
"Hmm. Should I… or shouldn't I?" she mused quietly. She quickly decided that she should, and went about clambering up to reach the hammock, soon setting down within it, stretched out and relaxed. She giggled to herself as she lay there, staring up at the ceiling. "Oh, Crash would kill me if he caught me making myself at home in his hammock like this!" she said, chuckling. She then sighed in contentment. "It's good to be home…" No sooner had those words left her mouth when the bat girl fell asleep, starting to snore softly, the flurry of emotions she had felt in relation to returning to her world of origin having caused her to burn through her adrenaline and exhaust her real quick.
"Oh, I'll bet she and her friends are having one heck of an emotional reunion in there," Tawna said, eyeing the little cottage and smiling warmly. "We should leave them alone for a bit, give 'em time to catch up."
"Agreed," Megumi said. She then blushed. "I just hope that she does not build me up too much when describing me to her old friends."
"What d'you mean?" Tawna asked.
Megumi's blush deepened. "N-Never mind. It does not matter."
"Hey!" a sharp, gruff voice suddenly rang out, and they all turned to see a trio of anthropomorphic bandicoots standing just shy of a dozen paces behind them, two of them looking very much like Crash and Coco, only with the former bearing ungloved fists emblazoned with tribal tattoos and the latter wearing beige mechanic jeans rather than blue overalls. The third member of the group, a distinctly muscular bandicoot with a metal arm who greatly resembled the café worker Tawna and the others had met a few days prior, was the one whom had spoken. A tribal mask floated along with them, bearing feathers similar to Aku Aku's, albeit much smaller in size (though no less vibrant in colour). This mask was also carved in a much rounder shape and bore long hair made of grass in tandem with his feathers.
"Who are they?!" the jeans-wearing Coco cried, looking bewildered at and suspicious of the group before her that included a double of herself.
"Cortex must've created some clones of us and sent them here as revenge for foiling his scheme with the NV," the grassy-haired Aku Aku surmised. "Everyone, get ready!"
"Hah! Ready is my middle name!" the muscular bandicoot, Crunch, declared, curling both of his hands into fists. "I'm loaded up on Vitamin C and ready to rumble!"
"Don't tell me these drongos are lookin' for a fight?" Dingodile asked. "They're lucky I didn't bring me flamethrower," he went on, unsheathing his vacuum cannon from his back and holding it at the ready.
"B-Be waiting a moment, please!" Megumi pleaded, stepping in between the two groups. "We are not looking for a fight! We are here with—!"
"BY THE MOJO'S GRACES!" the jeans-wearing Coco shouted wildly as a battle cry, suddenly leaping forward through the air in a karate kick. "I'm gonna tear through these creeps like a math test!"
"Gah!" Megumi cried out, throwing up her arms in feeble defence, but then Tawna stepped in front of her, holding her cutlass at the ready in a parrying stance, blocking the alternate Coco's attack and causing the bandicoot girl to land rear-first on the grass.
"Listen, kid, we're not here to— Whoa!" Tawna's words were interrupted when a pair of tattooed fists were suddenly flinging themselves at her in a chaotic flurry of lightning fast punches, each of which she was just barely able to parry. In desperation, she lashed out with a sweeping kick, knocking Crash of the Titans off his feet. He immediately leapt up again, however, managing to catch Tawna under the chin with a powerful uppercut, sending her reeling, rubbing her now aching jaw.
"Oi! No one lays a hand on my girl!" Dingodile declared, stomping forward with his vacuum gun aimed at Crash of the Titans, who tried to turn and run, but soon found himself stuck rear-first in the barrel of the dingo-crocodile hybrid's weapon, letting out a shrill shriek of panic.
CLANG.
"No, that's okay, I've already got two at home," Dingodile said in a daze, quite literally seeing stars as he fell over backwards, having just taken a punch to the face from Crunch, the muscular bandicoot's metal fist having knocked the burly Aussie for six.
"You got the bulk, but not the brains, fool!" Crunch declared, folding his arms and smirking as he gazed down at Dingodile, only for his smug expression to turn to one of surprise as he suddenly found himself bound by rope, Tawna having wrapped the coil of her grappling hook around his torso.
"Yeah, well, that makes two of you, then!" she snarled, glaring daggers at Crunch. She then yelped as Crash of the Titans suddenly landed on her shoulders out of seemingly nowhere. "What the—?!" The tattoo-bearing bandicoot then placed a palm against the side of her head, his ink glowing a shimmering, otherworldly blue, and then—
"Oh, boy. Not good," Lani-loli said, starting to hyperventilate.
"Don't tell me he's gone and…" Kapuna-Wa trailed off.
Tawna suddenly lowered her arms, standing at attention, a vacant expression on her face, her eyes glowing an eerie green.
"Run," Akano stated simply, Crash and Coco staring at their big sister figure with a growing sense of dread, their ears drooping.
Tawna suddenly lashed out at her adoptive siblings with a swift kick, missing them by inches as they leapt back in alarm, Crash of the Titans remaining perched on the bandicoot woman's shoulders all the while, seeming to be controlling her actions.
"Haha! Now you're gonna get it!" the jeans-wearing Coco declared, leering gleefully at her overalls-wearing counterpart. "Get 'em, Crash! show 'em not to mess with us, big brother!"
With a grunt of effort, Crunch suddenly wrenched himself free of Tawna's rope. "Yeah! Now the shoe's on the other hand, fool!" He then frowned. "That's not how that saying goes, is it?"
"T-Tawna stop!" Coco pleaded as the adventurous bandicoot woman swiped at her and Crash, the blade of the cutlass seeming to grow closer with every swish and swing. "It's us! We're your friends!" Beside Coco, Crash nodded fervently in agreement, terrified.
"St-Stop it! All of you! PLEASE!" Megumi yowled, but nobody was paying attention to her… or so it seemed.
"Huh?!" with a snort, Barista jerked awake inside the house, certain that she had heard Megumi's voice. She glanced out the nearby window and her blue eyes widened when she saw the fiasco that was going on outside. "Oh, Snipe quills!" she cried, scrambling out of the hammock and falling to the floor.
"This has gone far enough!" Megumi insisted, stepping in front of Crash and Coco in a feeble attempt to shield them from the mind-controlled Tawna. "Please, stop this madness, child!" she went on, gazing up at Crash of the Titans imploringly. Tawna stopped in place, the tattooed bandicoot seated upon her shoulders seeming to be sizing up Megumi, wondering how to proceed. Then he glanced at the lookalikes of himself and Coco, who looked just as afraid.
Then, however, he looked at Dingodile in time to see the burly mammal sit up, rubbing his now aching forehead. "Oh, bollocks, me head hurts," the dingo-crocodile hybrid complained. "I'm gonna get that big bruiser for that! An' his little pals, too!"
Crash of the Titans narrowed his eyes and made Tawna raise her cutlass over her head in both hands, about to bring it down and slice Megumi clean in two—
"NO!"
Tawna, puppeteer and all, was suddenly sent sprawling onto the grass, her cutlass spinning away through the air to land in the nearby stream, startling a small frog. Crash of the Titans sat up, Tawna's dazed form sprawled on his lap, to see a Ratcicle bearing a red scarf emblazoned with the letter 'N' standing there, a familiar-looking individual seated atop the beast.
"Don't you lay even a finger on her, Crash Bandicoot!" Barista roared, North brandishing his frost-infused claws threateningly as the Mojo warrior commandeering him spoke. "Red Rover, Red Rover - stand down! Now!"
Crash of the Titans looked from the furiously scowling Barista to the terrified counterparts of himself and Coco to the very much relieved-looking Megumi to the bandicoot woman he had just mind-jacked, who was now sitting up and groaning.
"My head feels like it just went through a tumble dryer…" Tawna murmured. She then realised that she was sprawled on top of a version of Crash that she was not familiar with and scrambled back, wide-eyed. "The heck did you even do to me?!" she cried, quickly catching on to what had just happened.
"Barista?" the grassy-haired Aku Aku asked, sounding incredulous. Then the mask beamed. "It is you!"
"Oh, my gosh, it really is her!" the jeans-wearing Coco cried, her eyes welling up with joyous tears. Crash of the Titans leapt up and hurried after his sister, both of them tackling North in a hug that caught the Titan by surprise to the point where he fell over backwards, Barista sprawling onto the grass, the alternate Bandicoots quickly moving from the Ratcicle to her.
"Whoa, guys, take it easy!" the bat girl exclaimed, but the alternate Crash and Coco weren't hearing of it.
"Are you kidding? We thought we'd lost you! Like, forever!" the jeans-wearing Coco exclaimed. "Ooh, you're gonna get it now for making us worry like that!" On that note, she and Crash of the Titans both started to tickle Barista all over.
"Gyaaaah! No! St-Stop! Ah ha ha! AAH HAHAHAHAHAAAA!" Barista howled, quickly descending into a fit of helpless laughter. "Megumi! Anyone! MAKE THEM STOHOHOHOP!"
"Heh, heh. Would you look at that?" Crunch said, folding his arms once more and smiling knowingly at the scene before him. His gaze then drifted over to Tawna and company, who were now tending to the injured Dingodile. The muscular bandicoot quickly put two and two together. "Guess you fools must be friends of Barista, huh?" he asked, his expression turning sheepish as they all glared at him. "Heh, heh… My bad," he said, rubbing the back of his neck, looking very uncomfortable all of a sudden. "I'll, uh, get your big friend there an ice pack for that black eye, shall I? Yeah." On that note, he quietly filed into Crash of the Titans' house nearby. "Smooth, Crunch Bandicoot," he muttered to himself as he went. "Reeeeal smooth…"
Yep. Crash just jacked Tawna. You're welcome.
Also, you may have noticed that in previous chapters, I referred to Barista Garnet by her first name in the Mind Over Mutant world and her surname in the It's About Time world. I did this to make it easier for readers to distinguish when each portion of the story is taking place (as if the little blurbs specifying the world and year at the start of each segment weren't already doing that nicely). Now, at the eleventh hour, I've abandoned that and will be referring to my little coffee bat as Barista full-time from here on out just because.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. This is where the fan service REALLY begins; long-time Crash fans are going to get a LOT of validation from this point onward. You're welcome.