Kazuma wiped fresh sweat from his brow as he set the still piping hot pizza to cool on a mesh. The product was a far cry from the uniform, mass produced fare that his folks would occasionally order, but the flavor wasn't too shabby if he said so himself. Heck, even by appearance it sorta looked like the stuff he'd seen on travel videos about Europe ages ago.
"Order 114 ready!" He called out.
A cook swooped by and smoothly plated the food before handing it off to a server. The cook just as smoothly plucked a ticket from the line and read it out.
"Order 120, Axel Style Flatbread, double sausage!"
Kazuma grabbed another ball of prepped dough and got to work flattening it.
While still pretty exhausting on the physical end of things, having triple the workforce from that horrid opening day had really made things more manageable. Things were still a bit sloppy but hey, at least now they had the manpower not to drown during the lunch and dinner peaks. With plenty of men manning the woks and griddles, Kazuma himself had taken advantage of the perfectly good clay oven in the building to start selling these "Axel Style" flatbreads. They'd seen modest success but word of mouth had yet to spread.
Halfway through forming the dough he looked across the kitchen, towards the open office, and caught sight of his mage. She was staring back at him with loving crimson eyes from behind the desk.
The woman had taken to being dropped off at the restaurant's office after her daily explosion to "observe her man at work." He'd noticed it over a year ago, but ladies really seemed to enjoy seeing him deep in focus and performing skilled labor. It baffled him. He could watch Aqua assemble a genuine masterpiece with curiosity, sure, but he wouldn't go so far as to say it was attractive. Still, the staff didn't object, Yunyun got free food, and Kazuma got to see his woman more often. All in all a win.
He flashed Megumin a smile as he continued his work. Once they cleared the lunch rush he'd go and make something special for her…
Huh?
His eavesdrop skill triggered at the sound of muted gossip, barely perceptible among the noise of sizzling oil and clanking metal.
"Isn't that the girl that he stole panties from at the Guild? I swear that's the same robe she had!"
"I heard he'd always bring her back to town exhausted and covered in slime…"
"Gah, is this some sort of Stockholm syndrome then!?"
Kazuma bit his lip, wanting to clear the air, but… well, nothing they said was technically incorrect. He settled for taking out his frustration on the dough.
His mage counted the tickets in one hand while the other held her half eaten slice of pizza. He'd never asked her to help with the bookkeeping, but that didn't stop her from taking over the task. Honestly she was probably one of the few people in Axel with a formal education so he could hardly call her unqualified. Couple that with her naturally high intelligence and she was breezing through the work.
Not wanting to disturb her, he helped the cooks with tomorrow's prep. Sauces were made, dough was cut & portioned, and vegetables were beaten into submission.
"Front of house is done, Sir Kazuma!" He heard a server call out.
The adventurer nodded with satisfaction, everything looked in order.
"Ok, good work guys! You're free to go once you grab your pay."
A queue formed in the office as Megumin paid out his workers. Another duty that she'd taken on without asking. Had it been Aqua he'd have been annoyed, but with her it was pretty endearing to see her invested in his new venture despite her initial apprehension.
After everyone got their wages and left, Kazuma found himself leaning in the office doorway in what he considered to be a pretty cool pose.
"How'd we do for the day?" He asked nonchalantly.
The mage flipped through the ledger for a moment.
"After all expenses, 19,000 eris! Very impressive Kazuma, soon our little business will dominate the Axel dining industry!"
Heh, "our." Don't recall seeing you sweating balls in the kitchen that day…
He swallowed the resentment and decided to float an idea he'd been having for the past day or two.
"No reason to stop there, why don't I open up a small franchise in the village? Once Komekko becomes of age she can help run it. I bet it would help with tourism as well."
She shut him down almost as soon as he finished the sentence.
"That would be unwise, Kazuma. We cannot entrust her not to ravage the diner's pantry on a daily basis."
Memory of the young girl's appetite suddenly came flooding back. Kazuma immediately nodded in agreement.
"Oh well, so much for that I guess... Say, what do you want for dinner?"
"Hm? I thought everything was cleaned and put away already? Do you plan on cooking back home as well?"
"Nah, I had the crew leave some stuff aside." He motioned behind him.
The mage was deep in thought before finally settling on something.
"I want to try something new! Something from your home country that you haven't made before!"
The man briefly tried to think of everything he'd ever made and everything that he could make with the ingredients on hand.
Ramen would take hours, he'd need seaweed for sushi, and all the simple stuff he'd already served…
"Hey, does the word crepe mean anything to you?"
"Crepe?" She shook her head.
"Figures. Sit tight, I'll get some ready. Not exactly from my home country but they were pretty popular, 'specially with girls your age."
The wizard was confused by that last bit but did not object.
A bit of mixing and careful heat control later, he'd managed to nail the look of the popular street food. A taste of the product confirmed it as well. The cooking skill was completely broken, even just a faint memory of what he wanted was enough to instinctively know the recipe.
He assembled a few sweet and savory options before putting out the firewood and making his way to the waiting mage.
"Sweet ones are on the right, savory on the left. Take your pick."
She grabbed one from the right and took a bite. Apprehension quickly gave way to a satisfied smile.
Kazuma had a goofy grin of his own. He'd never get sick of this feeling…
"D-Don't look at me like that! I can sense impure intent behind those eyes."
"Hey! It's all wholesome intent right now! And why would impure thoughts be an issue!? Miss 'ooh Kazuma, I long for your perverted gaze!~' What happened to all that, huh!?"
"I didn't say it like that…"
While mulling over a witty remark she caught the adventurer shifting his weight uncomfortably. His arms were covered with dried dough and specks of sauce. Sweat stained hair clung to his skin and his coat was covered in a slurry of filth.
"Hey… let's pack everything up and go home soon, okay? You look exhausted."
That little comment further affirmed the choice Kazuma had made many months ago.
Weeks went by, and with that came further improvements to day to day operations. He'd promoted one of his best cooks, a stocky middle aged man named Oswin, to be the restaurant manager. This was prompted after his eavesdrop skill let him pick up on one too many bits of concerned gossip about his decision making. Everyone in the kitchen acknowledged his culinary ability but he, the friendless NEET, was shockingly not the master manager that his ego believed him to be.
This change led to an actual industry professional making significant changes to his "just vibes" business model. The man had immediately moved shifts around, reorganized the front of house, simplified the menu options, and designed a sleek and efficient back of house. They all seemed so obvious that by the time he'd finished listing them off Kazuma was choking back tears of embarrassment.
With a competent second in command the chaotic days soon mellowed out, and that chill diner dream that he'd envisioned had finally begun to emerge. He could actually hang out and mingle with his customers, only occasionally dipping in to help man the ovens or wok station during a rush.
The now daily visits from familiar faces had only made things better, and he was starting to remember their go-to orders. Darkness always went for the teriyaki skewers, Aqua… well she usually just used up her free meal by ordering a mug of ale, and Yunyun was a fan of their newly added strawberry crepes.
Everything was going as he'd planned until a team of royal knights ambushed him towards the end of the day.
"Apologies for the intrusion, Sir Kazuma, but we have an urgent matter that requires your assistance."
The team of knights stood around as the staff collected their pay and headed off for the night. Once everyone else had left, he led the group to his office and closed the door. The captain offered a curt nod to the mage moonlighting as an accountant.
"Good to see you as well, Miss Megumin, this concerns you as well."
The mage nodded smugly before leaping onto the desk and pointing her staff towards the officer.
"Of course, I knew one day my fearsome displays of power would garner attention from the Crown itself! Very well, agents of the state, do your best! Exploooo-"
"Wait, what!? No, no! We have work for your party!"
The gaggle of knights cautiously backed away from the pyromaniac. Kazuma slipped a hand in between her waist belt and yanked her back down before dropping to his knees and apologizing profusely to the soldiers.
Once everyone had settled down, the captain gave them the news. With all the monsters in the world receiving a major downgrade in all but experience points, people were able to level up much more easily than before. Normally this would be good news, but this benefit applied to brigands and criminals just as much as it did to law abiding adventurers.
A bandit Chieftain by the name of Jussuf the Unbreakable and his party had taken down a legendary beast and gained a tremendous amount of levels using this exploit. The bandit was already significantly powerful, with a last known level of 46, but word around the southern dunes was that his victory over Myra, the Queen of Earthworms, had pushed him way past 50. Few adventurers ever hit that level, let alone exceeded it. With so much raw power and a great feat to his name, he'd been able to quickly take over the many bandit clans that littered the dunes. As it stood he posed a legitimate threat to the governors in the area.
"So, you want us to take this Jussy guy down?" Kazuma asked.
His stomach began to turn, he could feel another dangerous, protracted quest being practical thrust upon him at the very moment that he was starting to enjoy the sweet taste of retirement.
"Erm, it's 'Jussuf', but essentially, yes. Lady Iris has assigned some of us to assist you in this task given the extreme threat level. With that arch-priest of yours we can trust in our safe recovery regardless of how difficult the battle may be."
Kazuma saw his opportunity.
"Well, in that case, why not just have Aqua accompany you guys on this quest? With her buffs and revival abilities you'd be able to crush that bandit clan in no time without our help! You see, Megumin and I have a business to run now and it'd be difficult to just leave…"
"Kazuma! Y-Yes, the shop will need to be taken care of but surely your great new manager can do so! Please, it's been ages since I last had a target worthy of my full power!"
The Captain took out a hefty coin purse and let out a light chuckle.
"Oh, is that so? We'd been concerned about that but hearing that you've placed your business under the command of a trusted manager puts us at ease. Guess we brought this compensation along for nothing, ey?"
The adventurer gave a chuckle of his own before reaching out toward the bag the man had been holding. Knowing his luck he was getting dragged into this one way or another so he might as well get a bit of gold for his troubles.
"Steal."
The knights placed their hands on their sword hilts at the sudden declaration before pausing.
"S-Sir Kazuma… My underwear please…" The Captain didn't dare make eye contact as he reached out.
"To think you'd pull such a filthy, underhanded, depraved move on one of the Kingdom's finest! Kazuma, if you absolutely must cave into your animalistic desires then take them out on me instead of innocent soldiers!" Darkness yelled from the back of their camel drawn cart.
The party found themselves unable to decline the job after the g-string incident. They were wrapped in desert clothes not unlike those from the middle east back on earth. Kazuma'd never worn anything like this before, but he could see the appeal now that they'd crossed into the edge of the dunes. The loose fabric kept them relatively cool while blocking the scorching sun rays beating down on them.
"Every time we don't think you can stoop any lower…" Aqua murmured.
His own woman didn't say a word to defend him, leaving him to wallow in shame and disgust.