Chapter 20
Still here
"Conan-kun," Ayumi gestures to the empty desk beside him, "Where is Ai-chan?"
The girl was worried. The children had been informed that Haibara was ill. It has been a week since the incident, and the children are getting suspicious.
"What happened?" Genta demanded, "Did Subaru hurt her?"
"She's not doing well, Shinichi," the professor told him. "But she is recovering physically, so don't worry. She will be back soon."
She had awakened, and she had blocked him from her room.
"Conan-kun, is Ai-chan ok?"
"She's ill, alright," he snapped inadvertently, making the children retreat in shock. Ayumi's eyes welled with tears, and he was chided by the boys, who shoved a card at him, telling him to give it to Haibara. Their drawings remind him of the one they drew for her months ago. Their gesture touched him deeply. They were his friends, his little helpers, but he couldn't tell them—yet. Not while they were still under the curse of the organization. Apologies would have to be extended later. After putting the card into his bag, he approached the entrance and frowned when he saw Subaru standing by the gates.
"Need a ride?" the man smiled wryly as he opened the doors of his red Subaru 360. The old antique-looking vehicle was parked nearby. Shinichi hesitates. This man, Akai Shuichi.
Moments later, he entered the car, leaning against the rugged leather. The vehicle's interior was filled with the bitter arid scent of cigarette smoke. The man had been chain-smoking. His usually tidy, gelled-back wig was untidy, and he had bags under his eyes. The faint ashes of cigar smoke were smeared on the lining of his jacket. The haggard figure of Akai Shuichi was hunched over the steering wheel, gripping it with a loose grip. Mind seemingly elsewhere.
"We had the thumb drive hacked," the man breaks the heavy silence that had descended on their drive. Shinichi nodded solemnly. "No bugs, no viruses, just data," Akai continued. "It is a treasure trove of information, and it is all due to…" he trailed off. Shinichi chose to ignore the growing anxiety and concentrate on the passing buildings instead.
A few minutes later, they arrived at Beika Hospital. Akai parked the car in the underground parking lot, and they walked to the lobby from there.
"Cool Kid, you're here," Jodie-sensei greeted them. She looked like her usual chirpy self, but Shinichi could smell the smoke and see a faded coffee stain, one that she tried to clean off, on the red shirt she was wearing. Like Akai's, her blonde hair was a mess.
"Working on the Organization?" Shinichi asked, her smile faltering.
"It's all we do these days. Hacking into the system takes time, and Shuu here," she narrowed her eyes at the man. "Refuse to let us take any breaks."
Shinichi glanced at the man, who shook his head. "We can't waste any more time," was his cryptic answer. Though, Shinichi knows that hidden underneath that calm demur was a burning, almost impenetrable need to bring the organization down. He knows because he felt the same.
"Any luck?" Akai asked Jodie, the woman shaking her head, and he sighed.
"I will be in the cafeteria," he sauntered off slowly.
"Shuu, seriously," Jodie muttered to herself, and Shinichi glanced at her questioningly. It was not like he hadn't noticed. The strange tension that always appears whenever Haibara is mentioned to Akai. It was evident that Akemi Miyano's death had strained the relationship between the two. But Shinichi could never quite figure out why—the man feared Haibara.
"What a coward."
"Give him a break, Jodie-sensei," Shinichi told the woman. "It's been a rough couple of days for him."
"Oh, I'd love to give him a break if he ever needs one. I swear the man is a workaholic. He's so stubborn," she trailed off as they approached the room in question. It was a private ward, hidden from most of the staff except for a few select ones.
After all, Haibara Ai wasn't supposed to exist.
"Ready to try your luck, cool kid?" Jodie told him, and he readied himself.
"Ok."
And they tried for the door.
Shinichi found himself on the hospital roof later. Staring up at the blue skies above. He seethes onto the green metal mesh fence surrounding the roof's edge. His frustration at the situation at hand was palpable.
"Hakase, are you serious?" he had said harshly to the professor who had left the room. He had given Jodie-sensei and him an apologetic bow.
"I know, Shinichi, but she doesn't want to see anyone. At least not yet."
And once again, he found himself unsure of the steps he should take. Shinichi was concerned and angry. The panic in his chest half made him want to burst into her room—to demand, question, scream. He wanted to know why she did it. Why she had chosen to leave them all behind? But Jodie-sensei stopped him, Hakase shaking his head. The adults gave him a wary glance that did nothing to quell the ever-growing anxiety throbbing painfully.
Gritting his teeth, he leaned against the fence as it shook. Glancing over to the benches, to see a man seated there. Having lit a cigarette, Akai was smoking, ash dropping from the tip. His demeanor reminded Shinichi of a snowy day. Of a man exiting a phone booth walking past them through the crowd, pausing at the sight of a tearing Ran.
"You are crying again. You're always crying."
He had told the raven-haired girl. Ran, wiping away her tears in indignation, glaring at the man in recognition.
"Is that wrong?" Ran snapped at him as he walked past her, snow falling silently around them.
"No. I was just remembering," he whispered, closing his eyes as if in pain, "You remind me of a woman. One who always cries in the dark, trying to appear normal. A foolish woman."
It had been a passing statement, but the sorrow in his words ran deep. Melancholic eyes looked blankly at the cloudless blue skies above, staring blankly, remembering a life that could never be.
"I know you're there, boy," he gestures to the empty space beside the bench. Shinichi considers before heading over.
Sitting next to the man, Shinichi watches as Akai drew in another long puff from his cigarette before slumping back into the wooden bench. "I presume she's barred you from the room," Akai asked, and Shinichi let out a long sigh, shoulders sinking as he balled his hands into fists. The frustration comes back like a persistent ache that would not go.
"Relax," Akai said, "Patience, it'll take time."
"Yeah, for how long, though," Shinichi quipped, and Akai chuckled mirthlessly.
"Be glad, boy," he ran his fingers through his brown wig, "That she doesn't hate you."
Sad, somber expression, filled with longing and regret.
"Akai-san?" The question surfaced before he could stop it. "What is the nature of your relationship with Miyano Akemi?"
The man pauses mid-smoke. His eyes hardened at Shinichi's statement. Rigid shoulders, lips pressed in a tight line, Akai recollected memories he was reluctant to revisit. Taking a deep breath, he lifted the cigar one more time, releasing long-buried secrets along with wispy smoke.
"An ambiguous one," he states, "Formed based on broken trust."
"Akai-san?"
"She knew about my involvement with the FBI," he revealed. "The woman, despite her cheery nature, was sharp."
"She found out and—"
"And they killed her," fingers crushing the cigarette into a clump, rage barely contained despite his stoic demur.
Shinichi grows silent at the news.
"She reminded me of the sun," he whispered, "Bright, kind, cried easily, but most of all," He paused. His silence speaks volumes. Shinichi realized that he was looking at a man torn, broken.
"It's all in the past now," Akai continued, "I made a promise to her. To protect a sister I have never met but-"
Here she lay, in the hospital, unable to ask for help, prohibiting them from the room. The days are passing into an unending wait. The black organization still loomed over them like a locust of menace. Destroying lives like a relentless plague.
"I have failed her. I always did," he smiled bitterly, "Even in her last moments."
"Akai-san?"
"I am a terrible match for Shiho, boy," Akai continued, "We're similar in many ways, and we're both pining for someone who lives in the past."
He paused, taking in a sharp breath. Reaching into his pockets, he pulled out a silver flip phone. It was old, battered. He opened it, staring at the screen for a long time. Reading, studying something written. A message? Shinichi regards the man carefully. The man slowly shuts it, turning to face Shinichi. A bitter laugh escapes his lips.
"I won't profess myself to be a hero," the man admitted, "I couldn't save her, and I wouldn't be able to reach Shiho either. Boy, do you understand what I'm saying?"
"She barred me from her room," Shinichi whispered bitterly, and the man gave him a knowing smirk.
"And when has that stopped you?"
"You're really getting on my nerves."
The man turns away, slipping the phone back into his pocket. He stares out at the distant skies once again.
"I'm leaving her in your hands," Akai muttered. "Don't let her slip by."
"I won't," Shinichi answered, and the man gave him the first genuine smile marred with loss—sadness, a longing for someone he could never bring back.
"I'm counting on you, boy."
"Ai-kun, you've got to eat something," the professor nagged, shifting uncomfortably in the seat. She avoided looking at him. Her body was numb, and she was lost. She vaguely remembered slashing her wrist, blood gushing profusely from the severe wound. Shiho squeezed her eyes shut.
Is this a cruel joke?
How was she alive?
She should have locked the door.
"Ai-kun, please," he whispered, but his pleas fell on deaf ears. The humiliation she felt for waking up again was debilitating.
Shiho barely registered the professor's hold on her hands. He was pleading with her. The words stuck in her throat like a boulder. Tears ran down her cheeks. The professor wiped them away gently. Reeling at his touch, she recoiled.
"Ai-kun?"
The pain spread throughout her body as memories of dead sisters mixed with the stench of Gin's touch. Shivering violently with sweat streaming down her brow.
The professor was calling her name desperately. Her vision blurred, she felt lightheaded, and then she collapsed, blacking out.
The cold mechanical beeps of the hospital appliances greeted Shiho when she opened her eyes again. A familiar pair of blue eyes gazed down at her. Her lips parted slightly, parched from the lack of water. Grabbing a cup from the table, he rose from his seat. He tilted it slowly, and she drank it greedily, quenching her thirst—swallowing the lump stuck in her throat.
"Don't choke, Haibara," Shinichi said gently, and she turned away from him. Not having the strength to push him away as he held her up. When she was finished, he stepped away and settled back into the chair beside her. The silence wrapped around them. It was night, the darkness of the ward stretching it thin.
"Haibara," his voice piercing the silence. Hands reaching out and grabbing hers. She tensed. His touch burnt, and she shrunk back, snatching it away. Her lips curled into a twisted smile.
"Don't," she forced. Her voice was hoarse from the lack of use. She felt weak, her body not responding the way she wanted it to. "Don't touch me."
"Ok, I won't," Shinichi whispered. She could hear the hurt in his voice. With his fists clenched tight at his sides and his eyes filled with concern, his gaze glistened with worry. "I won't ask what happened, but," he continued, "you almost died, Haibara."
Shiho glanced at her hands, staring at the bandage tightly wrapped around her wrist. "Why didn't you tell us anything?" he continued, "We, I, could have helped you."
Helped her?
Akemi tried to help, and look what happened. She had enough. Why couldn't they just leave her alone? Why do they keep bringing her back? Why was she still here? Why did the professor allow him to enter her room? Why does he still insist on protecting her? Why?
"Why did you save me?" the words spilled from her lips, and he glared at her.
"Haibara, are you serious?" He snapped, agitated now.
"Yes, Kudou, I am. I am tired of this," she ranted.
"What were you expecting, Haibara?" he asked, "What do I have to do for you to trust me?"
He marched toward her bed, his hands tightly wrapped around the handles, his knuckles white from the pressure. "Would you rather die?" he asked. "Don't you understand, Haibara? We care about you. How many times are we going to repeat this?"
It stings, and she seethes at his admission. A rush of pain swept through her.
"I want you to leave!" The words burst forth, ripping through her dry throat, hurting. I want to keep you safe.
"I want you to let me die!" I don't want them to hurt you.
"Why do you insist on giving me a life?" I don't deserve this.
"Stop trying to protect me!" You'll get yourself killed.
"I don't need anything from you, Kudou!" You've already done enough.
"You don't owe me anything!" I can't pay you back.
"Haibara," he was stunned, her words stinging, and she held back her tears, pressing her hands into her eyes, holding them.
"Just leave me alone," Shiho rasped, "I don't want your pity. I don't need your sympathy." I don't want you to die.
"You're lying," he said, and she snorted.
"Kudou, you think you know me, but you're mistaken. I am not some nice girl who has made a fresh start. Have you forgotten who I am? I am Sherry. Do you think I care about the children? About Hakase? About Ran. I do not give a shit," She spat. "So don't force your idealistic values onto me!"
"Haibara, why do you do this to yourself?" He was shaking slightly at her confession, sounding like he might cry. It was new to her, and she glanced at him slowly. Why do you care? She wanted to ask, but the words were lost when he leaned in, lifted her chin tenderly, and placed his forehead on hers. "Stop trying to leave me," he pleaded. "Stop pushing me away. Stop hiding. I want to help you, Shiho."
Her true name reverberated throughout the empty ward. Shiho stopped. Something had changed. The pretense they have kept from each other falling apart.
Gentle azure eyes stared deep into hers. And she wavered, her chest constricting, the ache unbearable for her to bear alone. As she yearned for her sister's embrace, she was met only with the emptiness of oblivion.
"Leave," she whispered as he tightened his grip on her.
"Kudou, leave me alone."
Despite her efforts to pull away, he would not let her go. He was far too warm, far too close. Her emotions were a wreck.
"I will protect you, Shiho," his eyes determined and sincere. "Even if you think you are unworthy. No matter what, I will always protect you."
He was too close. Her heart was pounding furiously. Did he not realize—that she had been tainted? Why? Why was he looking at her like he was—
No.
"Let me go, Kudou," Shiho whispered feverishly, but he would not budge.
"Let me go, Kudou Shinichi!" she snapped desperately, and he smiled sombrely at her.
"I won't play any more games. I will never believe your lies." his voice was soft, carrying a tenderness that took her breath away, "I can't ask you to believe me. I know it's difficult. But, Shiho, I love you. That's the truth. It's just that simple."
Shinichi kisses her forehead softly as his hands gently cup her face.
It was a familiar feeling. It had happened before. Her eyes widened. It wasn't her imagination. Shiho pulled back in shock as he released her.
"I'll be back," Shinichi whispered when she did not answer. And he exits the room.
An image of a raven-haired girl waiting patiently for his return filled her mind. Her sister's doppelganger, once again, Shiho, has snatched away the life Ran deserved. Forbidden feelings she shouldn't have come roaring back. Her lies haven't worked. There was no way she could control this. Clutching her chest, she bent over, sobbing softly.
She could never forgive herself.
As the days passed, the black organization began to crumble. The thumb drive proved to be a great asset in the operations. They started with the mafias who had connections to the organization, whose bosses were rounded up, questioned, and arrested by the FBI.
In a swift, decisive attack, Akai did not show mercy to the leaders.
Then came the war fought on the web. Using the thumb drive, they gained access to the systems of the Black Organization, stealing vital information about their key members and causing havoc on their missions. The organization is a mess. They dealt the final blow. Media exposure. The news caught wind of the brewing storm, revealing them to the public. Their identities were exposed to the world for the first time.
It had an explosive effect, with the media getting wind of it and the reporter's relentless pursuit of a scoop bombarding the businesses the Organization owned. The breakdown was almost immediate, with many members fleeing from the public eye. They were arrested as soon as warrants were issued by the FBI and Japanese Police.
The major players were still hiding under the veil. Though their names and lives are still unknown, the deeds they have perpetrated caused a media frenzy that induced widespread panic among the public. Unsolved murders, mysterious disappearances, and conspiracy theories suddenly made sense.
Gin's face stared back at him. Shinichi smirked, marking the photograph with an X.
"We got them," Akai assured him, "we just need one more push, and we'll have them trapped on Walpurgis night." They were surrounded, with nowhere to go.
A battle would be waged, and it was only a matter of time.
And as the operation against the Black Organization takes place, a girl sits silently in the empty, white-washed room of the private ward.
She had not answered him. Instead, Miyano Shiho ignored him, retreating into a solitary silence from which no one could pull her out from.
Not the professor. Not the children, and not—even him.
She was becoming weaker, paler, and thinner. Refusing to eat, refusing to talk, refusing to move. The doctors, worried for her health, had injected her with fluids to keep her alive. The professor had tried in vain to get her to open up, but the girl was stubborn, keeping her secrets to herself.
Seeing her like this hurt. Like a lifeless doll that had simply—given up. Jodie and Subaru had asked him to give her time, but he could not. Not when she was suffering silently. Not when the secrets she carried were devouring her whole.
She needed help but refused to ask for it.
The operation was nearing, and he wanted his partner back. He wanted her to stand beside him. He missed her, the pain of her rejection tore through him, and he could only watch as she was slowly wasting away before his eyes.
There must be something he could do. Something to bring the girl back. Someone who would…
A pill found its way into his hands. The drug which had started everything. It was his last resort.
No more lies, Shiho.
"Conan-kun?" Ran asked as he appeared before her. He smiled.
There would be no more lies.
Episodes used:
Episode 309
And Shinichi finally confesses :) About time. The organization would not go down that easily. I have delved into the world of serial killers and crime- even the history of Japan. If you can spot the clues in the coming chapters :D It would be great. A detective game of sorts :D
Thank you all for the support and reviews. I hope you enjoy it.