...

Chapter Eleven

The Confession

...
You fell in love and you shouldn't have,
It still repeats in your touch.
I hate the way we miss the mark,
Just left of center there.
...

Kisame entered the base through the underground entrance, the one they were only supposed to use for missions and found himself not giving two shits whether Pein bitched him out for it. He just really didn't want to use the front door.

It's not like he was avoiding anyone or anything crazy like that.

He made his way through the hall that led up to the other door to the atrium, passing by Hidan's ritual area and moving faster when he saw that the Jashinist was there. Generally, if the zealot was in, he'd be so busy either with pre- or post-ritual activities that he never addressed anyone passing by. Kisame had figured he'd be safe.

Apparently, Hidan hadn't been busy enough.

"Hey! Fish Dick!"

Kisame stopped and cursed under his breath, wondering what the white-haired buffoon could possibly want. He should have just kept moving, all he wanted was a damn shower.

He turned towards the voice and stuck his head in the door, "Hidan, I don't care if Kakuzu sold your good rosa-"

The words left his mouth as a fist met his jaw, knocking him into the wall behind him. It took Kisame just a second longer than usual to recover, only because the punch had been so unexpected. With a sneer, he stood and rushed Hidan, who was standing there in the doorway shaking his hand, a particularly malevolent smirk across his face.

The Mist-nin grabbed both of the Jashinist's shoulders and slammed his entire body onto him, both men sliding across the floor. Kisame was the first to get upright and shoved his knee into Hidan's back, pinning him to the ground, "What the fuck is your problem, Hidan?!"

"You're my fucking problem, you no dick having-" Hidan's words were cut short as the larger man above him ground his face into the floor with his hand, muffled as he tried to continue, "fre-mmph!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Zombie Douche, I couldn't hear you. What was that?" Kisame sneered as he pushed Hidan's head harder into the stone. It was short-lived, however, as he felt a kunai jab into his arm. He hissed and let go, giving Hidan the opportunity to fling himself up and land a kick to the Mist-nin's throat. Kisame sputtered, hands flying up to his neck as he landed on his back.

'That little bitch. You don't kick a man in the adam's apple!' Fuck, that had hurt.

"I said," Hidan cracked his neck, picking up his pike as he walked toward Kisame, "You. Are. My. Fucking. Problem. You. No. Dick. Having. Freak. Was that clear-" He kicked the Mist-nin in the ribs, "enough-" and another, "for you?" He swung his leg to ready another kick but Kisame rolled to the side and flung his own kunai at Hidan's leg, embedding it in his thigh.

"Oww, you fucking prick! That fucking hurt!"

"Fuck you!" Kisame croaked.

"No, fuck you!"

Hidan ripped the kunai out of his thigh and it landed with a clink on the ground and raised his pike high before breaking out into a run, intending to run the Mist-nin through with it. Kisame picked himself up to meet the white-haired psychopath head-on, readying his kunai and running toward him.

"Shinra Tensei!"

Suddenly, Kisame was flying through the air before his back hit the wall, hard. He thought he felt one of his ribs snap as he slid down, tailbone hitting the ground with surprising force. The same had happened to Hidan on the opposite side of the room, who was now bent over heaving, but Kisame's attention was forced to focus on the man who stood between them, his arms raised out

"Would either one of you idiots like to tell me what all of this is about?" Pein bit out irritatedly as he lowered his hands.

"Why don't you ask him? He's the one who attacked me out of fucking nowhere!" Kisame rasped, hand coming up to rub his affected throat, the other arm cradling his midsection. His windpipe was definitely bruised.

"Hidan?"

"No, Leader-sama, why don't you ask him! Oh, wait no, I'm sorry Sir, you can't because he's too busy FUCKING HOSTAGES!"

'Well...shit.'

"Kisame," Pein turned to him, oddly calm all of a sudden, "Would you like to shine some light on this?"

Kisame stood with a stagger and shook his head, trying to clear his vision. He'd never been on the receiving end of Pein's jutsu, and it had really taken the wind out of him, "I don't see how what I do is any of your business, asshole!" He croaked loudly across the room at Hidan.

"It's my fucking business because you're putting the entire group in fucking danger, you stupid, pussy-whipped, beta-cuck bitch!"

"I'll fucking kill you!" Kisame roared, taking off across the room like a man unhinged. Nobody called him a beta-cuck bitch and got away with it.

"Come and get me bitch!" Hidan laughed maniacally, grabbing his scythe off of a nearby wall, and arched it above his head before running towards Kisame.

"Enough!"

Neither man heeded the warning and flew past Pein, who hopped backward to avoid the clash between the two. He let out an exaggerated sigh.

A sharp clink was heard as the kunai blocked the scythe, sparking the air as the weapons clashed. They held like that for a moment, until Kisame broke contact, dodging just as the scythe swung down, unfortunately scraping his collarbone just barely. Snarling, Kisame lunged to the side, swiping the kunai at Hidan's shoulder. Hidan leaped back and sneered viciously.

"You stupid blue fuck! You are really fucked now!" Hidan screamed, laughter bubbling from him hysterically, the sound reaching an almost ear-shattering crescendo. He brought the tip of the scythe to his mouth, tongue flicking out to graze it.

"Fuck." Kisame heard himself saying, suddenly remembering the other presence in the room. He looked over at Pein, who was just standing there with his arms crossed, a look that very closely resembled boredom on his face. Only when he noticed that Kisame was staring at him did he speak, "You two wanted to behave like children in my base, so I'll just let you sort it out amongst yourselves."

Kisame's face dropped to a look of disbelief. Surely he wasn't serious?

'Well fuck it then. I can handle it, so long as he's not in that stupid cir- shiiit.'

During those few moments between the Mist-nin and Pein, Hidan had already completed the diagram, his body now completely inversed into black and white skeletal markings.

"Gonna sacrifice me to your freak god, eh?" Kisame taunted, waiting for the moment when he could lunge at Hidan and push him out of that stupid diagram.

Hidan didn't respond, that maniacal smile spread so far across his face that it almost looked like it was splitting in half. He only cackled loudly and drove his pike into his own bicep, sinking it all the way in, and pushing it through the other side of his arm.

Kisame's breath left his lungs and he could feel the sensation of metal cutting through his own arm, muscles seizing violently at the intrusion, blood now gushing from the area where it mirrored Hidan's.

"You feel that, Kisame?" He spat the name with disgust, eyes glazing over as he continued, "Doesn't that feel fucking amazing?"

The Mist-nin clutched his arm, "You're a goddamn psycho..." He croaked, throat still burning, breaths coming shallow due to the rib that he was now certain was broken.

"Oh? I'm the psycho? How much have you told your little girlfriend? How much, you fucking traitor!?" Hidan ripped the pike out of his arm, forcing Kisame to buckle forward slightly, and brought it to hover it over the opposite shoulder, waiting for the answer before he continued.

"Fuck...you...Hidan..." Kisame brought his hands up to make the seals for a water jutsu. If he could wash that damn diagram away, he'd be fine. Unfortunately, he was still running low on chakra, so it wouldn't be anything major, but it didn't need to be.

"Oh, no you fucking don't!" Hidan drove the pike through one of his hands, and then the other, effectively stopping the flow of chakra to Kisame's own, rendering his hands momentarily unable to gather chakra in the points there.

'Fuck.'

"Hidan! Stop this immediately!" A feminine voice rang out, louder than either he or Hidan had ever heard it before. Kisame looked over to see Konan running towards Pein, who was now leaning on the wall, arms still folded.

"You're allowing this?!" She said to Pein, voice ringing in disbelief. The orange-haired man continued to look uninterested and merely shrugged.

"Some lessons are hard to learn, Konan," His Rinnegan came to rest on the Mist-nin as he continued, double-meaning hanging in the words, "They wanted to fight, I'm letting them fight. We will not interfere."

"So you're going to let him kill Kisame?" Konan couldn't believe this. Had Pein truly lost his mind? Why hadn't he stopped this yet?

"If Hidan attempts to land a fatal blow, which he has yet to do, I will step in. Until then, I'm certain Kisame can get himself out of this."

Suddenly an angry hiss tore out of Kisame's throat from the other side of the room, forcing Konan's attention back to the altercation. Hidan was now working his pike through his shoulder, movements painstakingly slow, his head thrown back in delight.

"Start talking, traitor. I can go slower you know."

"I'm not a fucking traitor you undead freak, and I don't give a fuck how slow you can go. I can barely even feel it, which unironically, is something I'm sure you hear all the time." Kisame laughed, coughing as a fresh wave of pain rose up in his chest. Fucking ribs... If he'd had Samehada with him, this would have been over already but the white-haired freak had caught him totally unprepared.

"You can't feel it eh? Well, we wouldn't want that would we?" In punctuation, Hidan twisted the angle of the pike upwards with a hiss; Kisame's teeth clenched together tightly, his knees starting to wobble.

"You like that, don't you, Shrimp-dick? I bet you do," Hidan teased, clenching his own teeth, another hiss escaping him as he twisted the pike again, slower than before, "I bet you like that just as much as you liked slipping your little dick into that sweet... slutty... Konoha pussy."

Kisame sneered, baring his teeth at Hidan, looking for all the world like a dog seconds away from snapping its own leash. Hidan perked at this reaction, smiling viciously as he continued.

"Ooh, what's wrong? Did I hit a nerve? Or maybe...maybe it's not very good? Maybe it's all worn out and sloppy. You know what?" Hidan twisted the pike some more, pushing it in deeper as Kisame cried out. Hidan's own voice was heavy with some mixture of pleasure and pain as he continued, "I bet it's all blown out from that sensei and those teammates of hers. I bet she gets passed around all the time, like a little village whore, for everyone to have a ride. It's no fucking wonder she let you of all people have a go."

Every word from the white-haired man was like a splash of gasoline on the flame that was Kisame's fury. His fists were clenched so tightly that one of his knuckles cracked, but he couldn't be bothered to care. He could hear Konan begging Pein to do something, but he didn't really register it. His feet started to move, so very slowly, toward Hidan, as the Jashinist threw his head back with a laugh.

"Oh, that's so fucking cute I think I'm gonna puke! What?" Hidan sunk the pike in deeper, uncaring as Kisame moved toward him, not stopping as trudged through the pain, "Do you fucking love the little bitch or something?"

Konan fell silent as the taunt left the Jashinist's mouth, eyes widening as she watched Kisame stop in his tracks, a few feet from Hidan now. The furious look he wore fell away completely and was replaced with a cold expression that sent a chill down her spine.

"Holy shit... you do...!" He gasped, aghast and amused disbelief on his face, "You're in fucking love with her!" Hidan's hand left the pike now, hysterical laughter spewing from his mouth as he doubled over, clutching his sides. Kisame was moving again, faster than before, an icy expression still on his face.

"Oh, my fuck! That is too fucking funny, man. And you call me the psycho... You've fucking snapped, man - but shit, since she'll just fuck anyone maybe I'll have a go at her too-"

The rest of the jeer never left his mouth because something violently collided with his body, pushing him out of the diagram and into the wall. Hidan didn't have time to register what had happened as a hand latched onto his throat, pinning him to the wall he'd hit. Kisame lifted Hidan's body until he was just above him, hand now squeezing so tightly that he physically heard the Jashinist's windpipe creak.

The Mist-nin leaned up and brought his mouth close to Hidan's ear, grating voice dripping with malevolent promise, "If you ever put your fucking hands on her, I'll make sure there's not enough of you left to put back together. You hear that, bitch?" The threat was punctuated by Kisame slamming Hidan into the wall.

"Fucking traitor," Hidan croaked, spitting in Kisame's face as the Mist-nin pulled away, "Gonna throw us all to the wolves because of some slut." The hand around his throat tightened, but Hidan still continued, voice coming out in a broken rasp, as his body returned to normal, "You're a fucking moron if you think someone like her could ever feel anything for you, you pathetic freak."

Kisame didn't speak one word, didn't even breathe in the second it took to rip the pike out of Hidan's shoulder. With one fluid movement, he'd dislodged the metal rod and with as much force as he could, sunk it right into Hidan's forehead, pushing through to the wall behind him, snapping his neck with a quick clench of his other hand. Hidan didn't speak anymore, eyes crossing as the implement in his skull effectively rendered his brain useless. It was a real shame that it was only a temporary fix.

"Fucking piece of shit," Kisame muttered as he spat the blood that had accumulated in his mouth onto the ground, turning now to the other two shinobi in the room. One of Pein's eyebrows was raised in something that looked like amusement while Konan just looked on with wide eyes.

Slowly Kisame moved toward the doorway, pain pulling him down only slightly, speaking not a word to the other shinobi as he passed.

...

Konan let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding when Kisame made his exit. Pein had been right, after all, Kisame had handled himself, she thought morosely. The situation should not have gone that far, even so. She hadn't even known that Hidan had been aware of the little tryst that the pink-haired kunoichi and Mist-nin had shared. Had Sakura told him? It wouldn't make sense if she had. And just why had Hidan been so angry about it in the first place?

Hidan had claimed that Kisame was a traitor for having slept with Sakura but honestly it just looked like an angry bout of jealousy. She'd known that Hidan had taken to...rather flirtatious approaches with Sakura before, but had he been so wounded at her rejection that it would push him to act like that? As far she knew, the white-haired man cared little for the organization's plans, though she supposed he would be concerned with his own well-being in the event that Kisame sold them out.

"Should we get him down?" She sighed, her gaze falling on the now silent man who hung from the wall with his own weapon.

Pein waved his hand dismissively, "Leave him for now. We'll have Kakuzu fetch him in the morning. It'll give him time to think about his actions."

One blue eyebrow arched up curiously at that, she highly doubted Hidan could even form a coherent thought, never mind be able to 'think on' anything, but she kept it to herself.

"I assume Hidan started it." She said with a quirk of her lip.

"You would assume correctly. I attempted to stop them but they went at each other regardless," He paused and fixed his gaze on her, "See, Konan? I am not so heartless as you might assume."

Konan's mouth dropped open in defense until she noticed the slight upturn in the corner of his mouth. How uncharacteristic of him, to tease her, she thought. For Pein to make a joke was a very rare experience, and she relished it every single time it happened, even at her expense. He seemed to be in an unusually good mood, especially considering that two of his subordinates had just attempted to kill each other.

And speaking of which...

"I figured you would have told Kisame to leave Sakura alone."

"I could have demanded he do that, yes," Ringed irises returned to the hanging Jashinist as the man started to twitch, "Although, something tells me he would have gone against my wishes, regardless of punishment."

"Do you think so?" Konan wasn't asking for her information, she already knew that Kisame wouldn't be able to stay away from Sakura. Those seeds were already far too deep to uproot, literally and figuratively, however rotten they seemed. However, she was surprised Pein had admitted such a big flaw, however indirectly. He'd never outright say that any of his plans were ill-conceived, even the ones that weren't directly his. Konan was no fool, this entire scheme had been concocted by Madara and although Pein was a co-conspirator, he'd go along as if it were his idea. That's just how he was.

"I do."

Hidan was now twitching frequently, sputtering out random sounds in an attempt to string along a sentence, broken neck and all. Konan frowned, reconsidering if maybe they should take him down after all, but the man beside her just continued to look on with a slightly amused look on his face.

Eventually, the Akatsuki leader moved off of the wall and turned towards her, and for a second she thought she saw a twinkle in his eye. He held his elbow out to her, the slightest of smiles on his lips.

"Will you join me for a cup of tea, Konan-chan?"

Konan fought down the confusion at his behavior and smiled a genuine smile of her own, before taking his arm, "Of course, Leader-sama." She wasn't one to let a good thing go, after all.

...

"Kisame, I'm pregnant."

'Ugh, no.'

"Kisame, look... I'm pregnant. Remember that one-night stand we had? No? Well I'm pregnant and it's yours and you absolutely cannot kill me or the baby. "

'Oh very tactful and super informative...'

Sakura sighed morosely and turned to examine her profile in the mirror that she'd been unsuccessfully trying to rehearse in. Her frown deepened considerably as she pulled her yukata up, suddenly realizing that the bump seemed to have gotten sizeably bigger in the last week or so. She had been trying to come up with ways to apologize to him for the other night, something that she knew posed a great risk but also something that he'd deserved.

Her reaction toward him had been - by her own standards particularly - especially irrational. She could understand not wanting to get close to him for fear of other certain reactions but honestly, she didn't think he'd actually try to harm her or their offspring, at least not anymore. She had once, of course, and even though she still didn't know much about him despite what their intimate encounters had provided, she had a feeling now that even he wouldn't be so rash about something so serious. He very well might not want anything to do with her or the child, which she could be fine with, and he might be extremely angry but that didn't mean that he didn't deserve to know.

It was time to finally come clean.

She knew that she didn't want to drop all of these things on him at once. She'd start with a heartfelt apology and an explanation of her actions. Then, if he was willing to listen after that, she'd probably have to recount the mission the event had occurred. He clearly didn't seem to remember her at all, so she'd have to give some details only he'd know. Then... Then she would tell him everything. It was all she could do. She could very well be here until after the baby came and if she was, there would be absolutely no way to keep it under wraps anymore.

She had a distinct feeling that it would be pretty obvious, call it mother's intuition.

Sakura knew she had to just get it over with, same as before, come clean and let whatever happens just happen. She pulled her yukata back down and marched towards her door with a determined huff. No more hiding, no more lying, no more of this tenseness; she couldn't handle it anymore, it was far too stressful.

She found herself in front of his bedroom door quicker than she'd realized, the feel of his chakra on the other side doing nothing to quell her anxiety. Maybe she could just come back later-

'No.'

With every ounce of resolve in her body, Sakura raised her hand and knocked.

The urge to back away was unbearable and she closed her eyes as she waited, simultaneously wondering what was taking him so long and begging him silently not to answer.

After what seemed like an eternity - and somehow less than a second - that door opened and his form was suddenly there, towering over her. She didn't miss the fleeting look of surprise on his face and she certainly didn't miss the bare, perfectly constructed torso that was settled in front of her; when he spoke, a thousand tiny lightning bolts traveled over her skin and she had to fight to repress the shudder they left behind.

"Sakura."

For some reason she couldn't even begin to identify, her name leaving his mouth filled her with a relief that was overwhelming. The fact that he hadn't called her 'kunoichi' right out the gate left her incredibly grateful; it was like a sign that he might actually give a little bit of a damn about listening to her.

"Hello, Kisame... I was hoping we could talk. If you're not busy, of course."

She was almost surprised at the ease the words came out, she'd figured that would be much harder to do. The Mist-nin didn't say anything, eyebrow merely rising in response before he stepped aside to allow her entrance.

Sakura didn't move, obviously uncomfortable with being in such an intimate place with him so soon. This was his domain and she couldn't help but feel like she was trespassing, even with the invitation. Kisame must have noticed her hesitation and in a gesture surprisingly considerate of him, grabbed a mesh tanktop from somewhere behind the door and stepped out. He slid it on and started down the hall.

"Come with me." The statement was straightforward but not in any way rude. Sakura couldn't help but be surprised, she had figured he'd still be angry about the other night. If he was, he was doing a very good job of hiding it, she thought as she followed him down the hall.

"Where are we going?" She asked curiously, softly, still unsure of what she should or should not say to him. The last thing she wanted to do was push him in any way. She knew he didn't need to be handled with kid gloves but she couldn't seem to get out of her head enough yet to do so otherwise.

"You'll see." Something in his voice sounded almost excited, though she was sure she must have imagined it. Soon they found themselves at a door that Sakura had never seen before and Kisame opened it to reveal a rather rickety-looking staircase. Normally Sakura would have no problems whatsoever climbing such a thing and it wasn't even that she had a problem climbing it per se, she just worried about what might happen if it were to break and she couldn't stop her fall. Her chakra control had been progressively improving, faster it seemed with every day, but she was still extremely wary to test it by taking a sixty-foot plunge.

"Don't worry about it, it's sturdier than it looks." Sakura found herself staring at his back in surprise. She was certain that he'd scoff at her apparent inability to climb a staircase and mock her abilities as a shinobi. He ascended it first and swallowing down a bout of nerves that had bundled in her chest, she followed, albeit more slowly. Kisame opened another lone door at the top of the stairwell, this one leading outside, he leaned across it to hold it open for her.

'What is going on with him? He's never been...like this before."

The first thing that she'd been surprised to discover was that it wasn't raining, a miracle in itself. The next thing that had her attention, as she peered over the ledge in front of her was just how high up they were, seemingly much higher than the sixty or so feet they had climbed to get here.

The last and most exciting thing that she'd noticed was just how dark it was up here and she looked up to see a blanket of stars in the sky above. A warm sensation spread through her chest as she realized that this was the spot Kisame had told her about, the one he'd spent so much time in. Her heart squeezed at the realization that he was, in some way, sharing it with her.

"It's amazing up here." She said with wonder as he took a seat on the concrete platform.

"Yeah, it's pretty nice." His voice trailed absently, and she noticed that he had laid back, resting on one elbow as he stared off distantly. In the moonlight, he looked almost ethereal, as if he were some sort of creation god that had come down from above to find a place to relax and watch all that he had made. His skin held an alluring glow and on his face, Sakura could see a look of serenity she'd never seen before settling on his strong features. His eyes, usually ever alert, had softened to a considerable degree. It was as if he'd been carved from marble, etched out from only the finest of materials by a divine hand. He was, without a doubt...

"...beautiful." The word left her mouth breathlessly and entranced as she was, she hadn't even realized she'd said it out loud. If he heard her, he didn't acknowledge it, merely gazing out beyond them until he finally spoke.

"You can sit, you know." His eyes came to rest on her then and she found herself inexplicably pulled to him, that damn invisible thread back once again. Sakura sat nearby but not close enough as she would have liked at that moment. She figured it would be best to give him space but damned if her fingers weren't burning to touch him.

If Sakura had been beautiful before, she was downright breathtaking now. It wasn't just up here that Kisame had noticed that either. From the moment she'd shown up at his door he had been unable to keep his eyes off her. She was so damn radiant that he had to force himself to keep his gaze locked forward as they made their way towards the roof. He felt her moving towards him, coming to sit next to him as he forced himself to stare straight ahead but he couldn't help his wandering eyes even so.

She held a glow that seemed to radiate from within and without even daring to touch her he could tell that she was somehow impossibly softer, certain edges - which were by no means unattractive before - having filled out in an alluring way. Her rose-gold hair shone with an indescribable luster and Kisame had to stop himself from taking a lock in his fingers and breathing in deeply the perfume that he knew promised a high greater than any he'd ever experienced. Her perfect emerald eyes sparkled in the glitter of the starlight as if they held secrets that he could have only ever hoped to know.

He was certain that she was the most beautiful creature he'd ever laid his eyes on.

It had been a few days since the event in the kitchen and through countless hours of deliberation and more sake than he should have let himself consume, his anger had cooled significantly. Even so, he couldn't say he felt all that comfortable in her presence. Despite that peaceful look she held as she stared out into the sky, her face was obvious with tell-tale signs of anxiety and something similar to fear. He couldn't tell if it was fear of him or something else but she definitely had something on her mind. Whatever it was it had him ridiculously on edge.

"So," He began, forcing himself to maintain that casual look of indifference he'd worked so hard on, "What did you want?" As the question left his mouth, he cursed himself inwardly. Well, that hadn't come out the way he'd meant for it to.

She didn't respond for several moments, fiddling with her fingers as she kept her eyes locked forward.

"I owe you an apology...for my actions the other night. I am so sorry, Kisame." Her voice trembled, his name leaving her lips in a broken plea.

Kisame wasn't sure how to respond to such a heartfelt admission. He wasn't entirely certain what it was that he had been expecting her to say but somehow he hadn't been prepared for an apology. He wondered what she was apologizing for, exactly. Was she sorry about sleeping with him? About her reaction after? He assumed she meant the former.

"Don't worry about it, kunoichi," He said, voice hardening somewhat, "I get it, accidents happen."

The rosette's face flashed with something akin to confusion, eyes furrowing deeply as she looked at him, "Accidents? What do you mean?"

The Mist-nin sighed and shifted, sitting up and resting his arms on his knees, "I'm just sayin' it's not a big deal. Neither of us was thinking clearly, obviously, and sometimes... weird shit just happens."

"What do you think I'm apologizing for, Kisame?" She asked, turning to face him fully.

He couldn't help the snarky smile that spread across his face, "You're going to make me say it, aren't you, princess?"

Sakura tilted her head, analyzing his face carefully as realization dawned on her. She met him with a snarky grin of her own, feigning irritation as she continued, slight blush settling on her cheeks, "If you think I'm apologizing for sleeping with you, you dense shark, you're dead wrong."

"No?" A single thin eyebrow raised at her.

"No. I'm apologizing for... afterward," Sakura looked down at her knees, "You didn't deserve that."

Kisame laughed deeply, the warm rumble spreading through that space between them and traveling up her arm as was its custom. A particularly bitter wind nipped at her and she had to fight the urge to scoot closer to him. She could feel his warmth from here and it was deliciously tempting.

"I probably deserved it, Sakura."

Sakura's eyes widened just barely as she watched the little smirk on his face spread into a sharp grin. This was it, she thought, his attempt to bridge the gap that left them both so unable to relate. This was his way of opening up to her and the realization of that was almost enough to take the wind out of her lungs.

"I think it's probably just enough to say that things haven't been the smoothest between you and me," She said, feeling no need at the moment to dwell on who was wrong or right. In their own ways, they had been both, at different times, and that was good enough for now. She continued, "Still, I'm sorry."

Kisame nodded and she took that to be an admission of acceptance. Silence hung between the two for what seemed like a long time, though it wasn't uncomfortable. Kisame was the one to break the silence, his voice breaking through her starlit haze and ripping her back to the present.

"Are you going to tell me why?" He asked, looking at her now.

Sakura blinked, confused until the realization set in about what he was talking about. The anxiety that had all but melted away returned with a fierce vengeance and suddenly she felt very dizzy.

"I can't really accept your apology unless you tell me why you're sorry, kunoichi," Kisame said, voice hard again.

"I..." She started, unsure of how to even breach the subject, "There's a lot of reasons." She mumbled, mentally slapping herself for such a vague response. She'd had so much confidence that she'd be able to do this and now that it was time to just do it, she was fumbling.

"Kunoichi..." He warned with a growl.

"It's not that simple-"

"Then what is it?" He was closer to her now, uncomfortably so and Sakura suddenly felt like she wanted to run again.

"I was scared!" She yelled, pushing herself away from him. Tears had gathered in her eyes again and she cursed herself for her weakness. That was all she ever did anymore and she hated it. She'd worked so hard to be strong and she was frustrated, "I was scared of these things that keep happening between us that I can't seem to stop! And I..."

She trailed off, eyes fixated on the ground. She could feel him staring at her and when she finally chanced a glance, his previously softened demeanor had hardened again.

She felt something squeeze in her chest as he looked away from her. A new fear rose up then, stronger than the fear she felt at their situation, or of him. The prior groundwork they had made was crumbling away beneath their very feet and she was hit with the sudden realization that if she didn't tell him everything that there would be no getting it back. She inhaled deeply, dug her fingers into the concrete, and forced herself to speak.

"You really don't remember do you?"

Kisame's head snapped back to her, "What am I supposed to remember?" He said, voice tense.

"Me. You don't remember me," A humorless laugh broke from her throat, "That's not very fair, I remembered you."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"We've met before, Kisame. Months ago," She had to fight to keep her hands from shaking as she continued, "In Ame. It's okay that you don't though, I actually hoped you wouldn't. It would have made everything so much easier." She choked, her resolve falling apart with every word.

"Sakura..." Kisame moved closer to her, slowly, as if scared she was going to run again but his tone betrayed his frustration.

"I don't know why I expected you to remember me, I wasn't exactly me. I mean I was but I...I changed my hair for the mission."

"What mission?"

"I was on a mission, here in Ame. At one of the bars and you- you came in and bought me a drink and- and everything just-" The words left her mouth in a rush.

"Holy shit..." He breathed, realization twisting his face, gears clicking into place. His mouth dropped in disbelief, "That was you?"

She nodded, slowly, "Yes."

"Damn," Kisame looked away from her and put both hands over his face as if trying to piece together his thoughts and broken memories that had plagued him through the last months. He turned back to her, looking annoyed, "Why didn't you tell me this sooner, Sakura?"

"I don't know! I didn't know how you'd react! I wasn't even sure that you didn't remember. For all I knew, you did and you just didn't care. For all I know, you just pick up women from bars all the time!"

"Oh yeah, because they're just lining up around the block to get at this." Kisame deadpanned, words muffled. Sakura felt a pang strike her heart.

"I'm sorry, I really am, but can you really blame me? I might have told you sooner but you wouldn't even talk to me. What was I supposed to do? Make you?" She huffed, arms coming

Kisame didn't respond. As much as he hated to admit it, she was right. She might have felt compelled to tell him if he hadn't been such an asshole. He'd turned on the defense the second he opened that mission scroll.

"Shit..." He sighed.

"What do you remember about that night, Kisame?" She finally asked, her voice barely reaching above a whisper. The question had been one of the foremost things on her mind for months and she was relieved to get it out. Kisame dug his fingers into his hair, clearly trying to reign in some sort of emotion he didn't want to let slip.

"I decided to go out for a drink because Deidara was being extra fucking annoying that night. I guess I met you and we started drinking together, which I remember thinking was weird because I never drink with people I don't know. Hell, I rarely drink with people... It makes sense now because clearly, you were trying to work me for information," He chuckled, no humor in his tone, "Little, unsuspecting Leaf kunoichi."

Sakura bristled, feeling no remorse for doing her job. "Like you wouldn't have done the same..."

"No, I wouldn't have."

"Yes, you would have, you know as well as I-"

"No, Sakura,I wouldn't have used my feminine wiles to attempt to seduce a target. I would have just tortured them." He cut her off and Sakura snapped her mouth shut. Kisame was right, he had other ways of getting information and none of them involved playing consort to big, drunk men. Sakura wrapped her arms tighter against the chill in the air as he continued, "So tell me, pretty little Leaf... did you get what you needed?"

"No," Sakura sighed irritably, unable to look at him, "I was just as drunk as you were. I don't even remember anything between meeting you at the bar and waking up the next morning."

That was a lie. There had been, she had come to find later, little resurgences of things that she had forgotten. Honestly, she could remember a good deal of things that had occurred, the details only beginning to get fuzzy around the fifth or sixth drink. As far as she was concerned, it was just better to leave that stuff out.

"So you woke up and I was what? Asleep?"

"You were." Sakura nodded.

"And you didn't think to kill me?" Kisame scoffed but the amusement in his question was not missed.

"Like that would have worked, you would've woken up and snapped my neck before I could have even made my first move." She replied irritated. As if it would have been that easy...

"A proper kunoichi shouldn't need more than one move. You could have a hundred ways to kill a man on your body at any time, even if you were naked." Kisame said, his tone deathly serious.

Sakura frowned. He was exactly right and she knew it. Even that night, there had been some implement she could have used to kill him. A vial of fast-acting poison discreetly hidden in her drop earring, lethal with one tiny drop. A senbon in her boot, coated with neurotoxin. The clever little seal that she and Shizune had concocted that when applied to the skin caused complete and total paralysis, stuffed into her jean pocket. She could have taken his life, in numerous ways, so why hadn't she?

"You could have killed me, Sakura. I know you could have, but you didn't," His voice dropped to a whisper as he leaned in closer, his nose nearly brushing her own. Pearlescent eyes dropped to her mouth and his hand came up to rest on her cheek, "Why is that?"

"I-I don't know."

His lips were against hers, not in a kiss, just resting there. His fingertips were digging into her cheek almost painfully, forehead pressed against hers as if she were the only thing keeping him upright.

"Were you scared?" Kisame asked against her mouth and she felt the shudder that traveled through his body as it passed into hers. She felt her body slacken as that undeniable pull drew her to him but it was different, deeper than the carnal desires that they had let control them before.

"Yes."

The single word came out as a purr on his lips and he had to fight with everything in his body not to crash into her. She tasted so wonderful and felt so good that all he wanted to do at that moment was lose himself in her. It was terrifyingly easy to give in, to let himself slip into something he'd never had before

"Are you scared right now?" He breathed, voice cracking just the slightest.

"No..."

A low growl escaped his throat and he crushed his mouth against hers fully, an outpouring of emotions that he'd been so far unable to cope with flooding into her with desperation.

She could feel him, his vulnerability and his fear, as he struggled to define something he couldn't even understand. His arms wrapped around her tightly, almost too tightly, as he tried to pull her as close to him as possible. Her hands fisted into his hair and her chest clenched painfully, her own vulnerability flooding her and spilling into him.

The feel of her stomach, the hard little knot pressing into his side, brought her crashing back down to earth suddenly and she fisted her hand into his shirt and pushed away. The look on his face broke her, a confused echo of the same rejection as before, and she turned away, too ashamed to look him in the eyes.

The tears hit her then, an aggressive onslaught of emotion and hormones that would have dropped her had she not been sitting. She hunched over with broken, ragged sobs and all she could feel was months of unbearable pressure crushing down on her shoulders, as she pressed her shaking hands to her face.

"What? What's wrong?" Kisame said, panic evident on his face, unsure of what to do, or what had her in such a state. Every time they came together it ended like this and it was exhausting, he tried to push back his own frustration but his anger seeped through as he watched her, unable to help, unable to understand because she never told him.

He was terrified she was going to run again.

Sakura couldn't speak as the torrent raged through her, unable to form the words she desperately needed to say through the sobbing and the blinding headache that settled in. Why was she so goddamn weak? Always crying, always whining, always scared.

Before she could stop herself, her hand lunged forward and grabbed his tightly, fingers trembling as she placed his hand on her stomach, tear-filled eyes begging him to understand, to not be angry, to please, please help her because she couldn't do this alone anymore.

Kisame froze as her hand covered his, a look of shock and desperate confusion flitting over his features. He didn't understand what she was doing. What was it that she wanted him to-

And then he felt it, the hard curvature of her stomach, warping into his hand. His eyebrows knit tightly together and his mouth dropped open and she was looking at him now, the sobs were now quiet but her body still trembled. Green misty eyes hazed over in fear and sadness and who knew what else.

"I'm so...so sorry, Kisame." She heaved, another broken sob pouring from her and he could feel her body trembling under his hand.

As if on cue, he felt a little 'thump' against his hand, and suddenly his mind was reeling, unable to form a coherent thought, "I don't...I can't...what..."

For the first time in his entire life, Kisame had been rendered speechless. Wide eyes snapped back to his hand as he felt that little thump again, much harder, and this time he snatched his hand back, staring at her stomach as if the little thing inside was going to burst forward any minute.

"Kisame?"

All of the color had drained from his face and he looked like he might be having a panic attack. Sakura stood and slowly made her way toward him, afraid he might bolt if she moved too fast.

"Kisame..." She repeated his name softer, dropping to one knee when she was in front of him, and slowly reached out to place her hand on his shoulder. His eyes snapped to her face, searching for something, imploring for anything that could help him to come to grips with this.

"This is...crazy." He breathed out, and Sakura felt immense relief wash over her that he was still even here, never mind that he was talking again. She had never seen him like that and quite frankly hadn't even expected such a reaction, though it wasn't as if anyone could blame him.

"Yeah... I know," She sighed, hand dropping from his shoulder, wiping cold wetness from her face, "I wanted to tell you sooner but...there just never seemed to be a good time. I'm just sorry it came out like this."

"Are you- I mean-" He huffed, running a hand through his hair, with no idea what to say, or how to handle this situation. What was he supposed to ask? What was he supposed to do? He looked at her, "You alright?"

"I'm fine... It's been taking a toll on my chakra control but other than that, it's been pretty standard. From what I can tell, anyway."

Kisame nodded, numbly. All of the strange events that had occurred over the last few months were finally starting to add up and he found himself surprised that she had managed to keep this so tightly under wraps for so long. How had he not noticed this?

"Does anyone else know?"

"If you mean anyone else here, then I'm not entirely sure. I know none of the guys know, Hidan and Deidara would never be able to keep this to themselves. I'm not a hundred percent that Konan or Pein doesn't know. I have a feeling they might, but they've never mentioned it."

"And your village?"

Sakura sighed wistfully, "Tsu- The Hokage knows that I'm pregnant, she doesn't know that it's yours."

Kisame flinched. She hadn't directly said that yet, and he wasn't going to ask, but her admission now had sealed it in. It was pretty obvious, after all.

This entire night had been like some crazy dream, surreality in its most raw form. Nothing in his training, from Kiri or otherwise, had prepared him for something like this. Hell, it wasn't as if the Mist had anything like parenting classes; if you had a kid, you dealt with it until it was old enough to toss into the village toolbox. That was just how it always was. Bringing up a child in their world was utterly asinine, especially considering how many villages operated in a manner like that.

"I'm not keeping it," Sakura said, something like sad consolation in her words, "I just didn't want to hide it from you anymore. I felt like you had a right to know."

"What do you mean?"

"Before all of...this," Sakura gestured toward the base before continuing, "The Hokage and I had been talking about adoption arrangements. We had decided it was the best thing for...everyone involved."

Kisame bit his lip, clearly unsure of how to feel about any of this. There was a part of him, new and unfamiliar, that felt somewhat miffed at inadvertently being included in 'everyone' but he couldn't find it in himself to say anything. What real right did he have to do so?

He couldn't even remember his part in this misguided creation. Sakura was the one who'd been dealing with it - and him, he reminded himself - and she had every right to choose how its life played out from here. Still, something pulled in his gut at the thought of their child belonging to someone else. It left a strange hollow feeling in his chest and he found he was starting to get really sick of feeling anything. Despite his silent decision to let her do whatever she thought was right, he still couldn't help but wonder-

"Why didn't you get rid of it before?"

If the rosette had been affected by the crude-sounding question, she didn't show it. Her face was peaceful, as if she had long accepted her decision and her role. To her, it was as if there were no other options to consider, no other paths to take. This was all there was, all there ever could be, and it was the right decision.

"I thought about it..." She started, seeing no reason to hide anything from him now, "I was going to... but when the time came to actually do it, I couldn't. It seemed unfair."

"And you," Kisame trailed off, trying desperately to keep the unsureness he felt out of his tone, "You don't want it?"

"It doesn't really matter what I want, Kisame. There's no life for this child with me. Especially considering," She paused, not entirely sure of how to say what they were both thinking without it sounding awful, "who you...are."

"You can say it, kunoichi." Hardened words like steel pierced her the same way his eyes were doing now.

"Kisame-"

"Just say it. Say the words."

"I-"

"Just fucking say it, Sakura!" He roared, slamming his fist down into the concrete, anger and frustration welling up where pain should be, shrouding himself in the familiar cloak of uncaring brutality.

"Hoshigaki Kisame. S-Class criminal. Akatsuki. Monster of the Bloody fucking Mist!" She shouted back, her own anger surfacing, fists clenching at her sides, "Is that what you wanted from me?! An admission that you're this awful, terrible person? Is that supposed to help me deal with this better? Do you think I haven't tried that, Kisame?! You think I haven't stayed up countless nights trying to reconcile what you are and all of the things you've done so I could justify hating you for what you did to me!?"

The Mist-nin looked away, unable to handle the broken way she was staring at him. Before tonight, those titles had held a different meaning to him; little pieces of his armor that he used to protect himself against the vile world they were a part of.

Tonight, however, as they left her trembling lips in a rush, they only served to stab deeply into his heart.

He wanted to apologize to her, for everything he had done and all that he couldn't give her, and all that he had taken away. He wanted to protect her and give her all of the things that she deserved, to provide a place for her to continue her peaceful existence without the taint of his name hanging over her or their child for as long as she lived.

At least, he thought bitterly, he could do one of those things.

Kisame tensed his shoulders and grit his teeth, unable to look at her again as he moved toward the door, "Let's go, kunoichi. We're leaving."

Sakura didn't follow after him, her arms wrapping around her to shield herself from the cold.

"Where are we going?"

He didn't miss the tremble in her voice that had nothing to do with the cold. The desire to look back at her was too strong and he closed his eyes, forcing himself to keep his back to her. That burning in his chest returned, worse than ever before, and was painful in a way that made his eyes sting. He forced it down because that was all he could do. This gnawing, awful feeling that was clawing its way through his heart and threatening to tear him apart from the inside would just have to wait.

"I'm taking you home."

...
You kept me, so caught up in your wreckage,
My sins are burned in and they're calmed by the comfort of your skin.
'Cause I am the ocean and you are the rain,
We might be different but we're one and the same.
...