A/N: This was a very hard chapter for me to write, but so important for Beth's character development. Please note that this there is a fairly graphic depiction of sexual violence about 2/3 of the way through the chapter that may be triggering for some readers.

She sat on the porch with Judith in her lap. Daryl had come out to join her today. Beth always enjoyed the quietness that normally came along with his company, but today was different, awkward. Beth wasn't sure why. Had he had a fight with Carol? His fights with Merle didn't provoke anything milder than annoyance and frustrated shouts, that is when fists were not involved. She hadn't seen the two brothers come to blows since he arrived in Alexandria a week ago.

She hadn't seen Merle for four days; not since the pair of them had re-entered the safe-zone after the repair and replenishment of the cashe. He had let her cry into his chest with his arms locked around her, his prosthesis a cold hard lump against her spine. After that the rest of the trip had been spent in silence. He separated himself from her company immediately after the gate closed, and she hadn't blamed him for it. She didn't expect anything from their excursion. She kissed him, and she had pulled away when he responded. She didn't know what he felt, and she certainly didn't know how she felt. It hadn't been him that made her break away, really it hadn't; it was herself. Her mind reacted independently from her body. It reacted without attention to logic or emotion. She wished again that she could cast that night from her mind. She wished so badly to forget.

"Y'all right?" Daryl asked, knocking her away from her thoughts.

"Yeah...sorry. Just distracted I guess."

"Been like that since you came back. He do something stupid while you were out there?"

His warm hand held her back, bare skin brushing over his fingers. Years of struggle and survival had made his fingertips rough, but his tough was gentle, and so very light against the skin at the small of her back. He didn't force her body against his, instead simply inviting her to arch against him. When she accepted he had sighed happily into her mouth. He had tried to deepen the kiss then, but Beth had pulled back, her own memories fighting over the excitement she had felt in the first moment their lips had collided.

"Beth?" Daryl asked again.

She shook her head in an attempt to clear her thoughts and focus on the present. Daryl plucked Judith off of her lap and cradled her in one of his large arms, her round face smooshed against him.

"He do somethin' stupid?" Daryl asked a little more forcefully.

"Oh, no. Nothing. He was fine...just Merle being Merle."

Daryl grumbled, seeming not entirely convinced.

"How was the hunt yesterday?" She asked suddenly, trying to change the subject.

"Was fine. Got a couple o' squirrels and Merle bagged a deer. Carol said she was gon' make a stew. Wanted me to offer y'all a couple o' bowls for the house."

"Sure, that'd be great."

"Said Carl was buggin' her to make some more o' them cookies too."

Beth smiled, Yeah, that sounds like him alright." She said before adding, "How is Carol by the way."

"Carol's doin' alright. Still puttin' up that housewife act with those stupid-ass sweaters."

Beth grinned at him as he continued. She knew he hated those knit cardigans that she always wore. Carol had started draping them over his shoulders anytime he fell asleep in the shared living room. While Rosita supported Daryl's anti-housewife sweater cause, Abraham definitely did not. Abraham had found the whole thing more than entertaining, and had at one point tied little pink ribbon bows on his crossbow to match a particularly ugly sweater that Carol had picked up from the laundry.

"Have you taken a shower yet? We need to keep up appearances, even you."

"You look ridiculous," Daryl yelled over his shoulder, catching Carol's attention. She was tying not to laugh as she retorted, "And you look like some unkept hill person."

Daryl swung off of the banister, leaving the possum he had caught earlier half-skinned on the boards, "N'case you forgot, I am hill person."

Beth was watching the whole scene leaned against the door with Judith attached to her hip.

"Oh I can tell. You do realize you stink right?"

"Oh yeah?" he started teasingly, Beth hearing the smile in his voice.

His slow quiet footfalls suddenly lurched towards her as he scooped an arm behind her knees, just barely catching her back before she hit the pavement and lifting her up against him.

Carol chuckled incuriously, "You're seriously going to make me go to book club smelling like dead possum."

"Book club?" Daryl snorted, "Gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me. You actually joined their book club?"

"That's right. You commin' Pookie?"

"Think I'll stick to the possum." he had said putting her back down gently on her feet.

Beth glanced over Daryl's shoulder to see Merle coming around the side of their house. Daryl was distracted by Judith as she watched blood from the freshly-killed deer drip down his forearm. She knew there was a makeshift rack in the backyard near the barbeque where they cleaned their prey; taking time and care to ensure that every scrap of meat was accounted for and ready to be processed. She wondered if he would cook it himself or if someone else had requested to do the task...

Daryl caught her eyeline, "Makin' jerky out there. Don't taste as nice as keepin' it fresh, but it should keep it from rotting away for a good while. Gonna pickle some too. Thought it'd be good to have out there in one o' those sheds if y'all don' mind runnin' it out there."

"Sure. The western one'll be good for a while yet, but the north could probably use some replenishment."

"I can give you some bolts t' bring up there too. Might take me a few days to get 'em all done."

"'s no problem. Just let me know an' I'll find a someone to mind Judith." Beth wiggled her fingers in front of Judith, "You wanna spend some time with your aunties and uncles Judy?"

Daryl smiled and bounced her on his knee, and Judith let out a shrill laugh as he played with her.

Beth curled up on her side, her favorite threadbare blanket draped over herself. Daryl had said he was happy to spend the afternoon with Judith until Rick came back from work and Carl from school. He had sensed that she was feeling a little worse for ware, and had brought the baby home with him.

"'s fine. 'Sides, Carol's been wantin' to try some new recipe for applesauce." He turned toward Judith's face, "Better you than me huh Shortround?" he joked poking her on the nose.

Beth had one of the smaller beds, given that she didn't share it with anyone, but she couldn't care less.

She had a bed...

She hadn't had a bed since the prison...

It was a ramshackle frame made out of two wooden pallets bracketed together in the centre. Everything she owned was stored was stored in the roller bin underneath save for a a journal, a couple of well-read paperbacks, and a small collection of mismatched knickknacks organized on a side-turned yellow milk crate. Her favorite item she had balanced carefully on the top of the crate: a Georgia snow globe. It had been a gift from Michonne, though Beth had no idea where Michonne had found it.

Beth rolled to her back and pulled the blanket up to her throat.

She closed her eyes and breathed in...

And out.

Breathe in...

And suddenly she was back there.

A heavy boot kicked the back of her knee, making her stance buckle and she felt a knife touch the front of her throat.

"On your knee Bitch," the rusty voice growled.

Daryl was trying to drag himself back up from off of the pavement, blood coming as a steady stream out of his nose. He almost managed to get back to his feet, but his legs were swept out from beneath him. His head cracked against the jagged pavement and he laid still.

Beth tried to struggle against the hold but despite her effort the world became taller around her. The knife moved quickly from her throat to make way for her cheek to bash into the pavement. Her eyes stayed on Daryl's unconscious form laying limply on the ground as she felt her clothing tear. She tried to shut herself away; to not feel the hands running on her and the hear the animal-like grunting behind her.

She was bleeding...

She could feel the red drops running down her thighs...

She just focussed on Daryl, trying to count each breath he took to distract her from the pain.

Thirty eight...

Thirty nine...

Daryl's eyes snapped open with a fury she had rarely seen. She watched him grab a piece of broken glass off of the ground and wind up to throw the jagged shard.

There was a scream behind her; a combination of surprise and pain.

Her body collapsed against the ground as she heard the struggle behind her.

The sound was so far away she barely registered it...

The calling of her name...

She startled, grabbing hard at the throat of a figure in front of her before her eyes had even adjusted to the late afternoon light coming through the window.

Rick was kneeling in front of her, one gentle hand on her wrist, the other rested on her shoulder in an attempt to calm her. Beth dropped the hand squeezing his throat. He was still wearing his windbreaker and was missing one boot.

"What?" she asked confusedly, "Oh! Rick I'm so sorry. I..."

"It's okay," he replied calmly. He hadn't seemed the least bit surprised by her sudden assault.

Beth pressed her palm over her mouth, trying to stifle her emotions. His hand on her shoulder wrapped around her upper back as he directed her to lean against his shoulder.

"It's alright. You're alright Beth."

"You're boot's gone..." she noted to him, unsure of what to say.

"I was just commin' in when I heard you hollerin,"

"Bad dream..."

"Must've been. You wanna talk 'bout it or...?"

"No...thanks, but no. I just...where's Judith."

She knew Rick would understand. He had done it himself. Their group often tried to find comfort in holding their youngest member close and taking solace in Judith's happy little squeals. She had been their beacon of hope on the road, and she still was within these walls.

"Next door still. I was gonna start somethin' in the oven and head over. Wanna come?"

Beth nodded and accepted the hand to help lift herself out of the low bed.

She held Judith with one hand, the other holding a spoonful of Carol's home-made applesauce. Much to Carol's enjoyment, Judith seemed to kike this recipe better than the other one. She clapped her chubby little hands as Beth made quiet airplane noises to encourage her to take another mouthful of the yellow pulp. The bustle of the house faded into the background as Beth played with the babe, but the occasional flit of steel blue eyes did not escape her notice.