A/N: Unfortunately due to guidelines I had to remove a large part of this chapter. I don't generally like to censor my work, but unfortunately in order to keep this story from being taken down I have to. If you would like to read the full uncensored version (full or romantic smutty goodness), please check out my Wattpad account under the same username, or my Archive Of Our Own account under the username The_Green_Aardvark. Hope you enjoy the chapter & happy reading!
Beth pulled the heavy duffel bag over one shoulder and carefully placing her longbow over the opposite shoulder. She gripped the strap with one hand and let her other rest on the hilt of her knife. Daryl had finished the bolts last night, and as usual, she wanted to leave at first light the next morning. Beth knew it would likely be another sweltering July day, and she wanted to get as far as she could before the cool of the morning retreated and the real heat of the day started to lick at her skin.
She had planned to make the trip alone and didn't expect to see anyone at the gate, but there he was, leaned up against the wall with his gun on his hip. It had been ten days since their abrupt kiss in the woods, and nine days since he had said a word to her.
Had Daryl asked him to come again?
She doubted it. Merle had been assigned a construction job within the community and had no obligation to go on runs...yet here he was.
"Mornin' Blondie. Took you long enough. We goin' or what?"
Beth stared at him questioningly, but he just rolled his eyes and grabbed the duffel off of her shoulder and slung it over his right side.
Beth led the way through the trees, checking her compass periodically to ensure they were true to course. The northern cashe was slightly farther than the western one, about an extra half hour there and back. The trees provided decent shade, but the sunbeams breaching the leaves left little patches of heat scattered along the forest floor. It was quiet out today, the walkers uncommon this far from the main highways.
"Didn't know you were comin' out with me this time." Beth started.
"Daryl said you was goin' on a restock." He answered simply, "Wanted a couple o' hours away from them yuppies."
Beth looked briefly at him over her shoulder, "Why'd you bother stayin' if they annoy you so much?"
"Daryl likes it there..." he said, though it seemed like there was more to the answer, "That, and y'all got the booze."
"Right. I'm still watin' on that hooch by the way," she said jokingly.
But he was quiet for a moment before saying, "You remember that huh?"
"Course I remember that." Beth said, a little confused.
"I was pretty drunk that night y'know..."
"Yeah, we both were."
"Pro'lly shouldn't've gone playin' wit' you like that I guess," he said, seeming to talk mostly to himself now.
The forest opened into a glade, the shed visible at the far end of the clearing. The grass was filled with dandelions ready to shed their seeds to the wind. She got a couple of steps into the clearing before spinning on her heel to face him, a cloud of white following her. Merle halted at her abrupt stop.
"What do you mean playin' with me?"
"Thought you said you rememberd that night?"
"I did...I do."
"Then you damn well know what I mean!" he said a little too loudly for being outside of the walls. Beth glanced around, making sure that nothing living or dead had caught the sound, "Should't've put my hands on you. 'Sides, you made it plenty fuckin' clear last time you ain't interested in none o' this."
"What?! Then...why did you bother comin'?"
"Can't have you tellin' them folks I'm some kind o' pervert! Thought maybe I come out here and help you out without doin' nothin funny, you might go off and say somethin' 'bout it?"
"Since when does Merle Dixon give a damn about what other folks think? You don't even like it there."
"Told you. I ain't gonna go fuckin' things up for Daryl! You stupid or somethin'?"
"You know I ain't. And I know it ain't just Daryl keepin' you there."
"Yeah, why don't you tell me what you think that is then Blondie?"
"How would I know..."
"Well you just done sayin' how clever you are didn't you?"
"Said I wasn't stupid, not that I could read minds..."
"You don't know a damn thing!"
"You are so self-centred! You ever think that it ain't you that's makin' me upset?"
Beth grabbed the bag off of his shoulder and hefted it over her own before starting back towards the cashe. Merle wasn't following her. He was still standing at the edge of the glade, but Beth didn't really care. It was a beat before he called, "Blondie?"
Beth ignored him.
"Blondie!" he called again, a little louder this time. But Beth just continued towards the shed. She heard him let out an exasperated grown before he called, "Beth!"
She stopped. She couldn't recall hearing him ever call her by her actual name...
He met her in the centre of the glade and pulled the bag off of her shoulder, and discarded it on the ground beside them. When she didn't turn to face him he walked in front of her path, holding her shoulder at arm's length.
"Whatcha mean?"
Beth crossed her arms over her chest. She didn't bother to meet his gaze as she quietly answered his question, "My first boyfriend, Jimmy...He was real kind but...he didn't know what he was doin'. The last one died before anythin' happened. And then on the road..." she trailed off, her voice breaking, "I...I just thought it might've been nice to...t-to try with someone who wasn't trying to...t-to..."
She could feel his eyes on her as she wrapped her arms around herself tighter.
"That what you want?" He asked quietly.
Beth dropped her arms and looked up at him, trying to hide her emotions, "It's fine...I-I shouldn't've said anything."
He put a firm finger under her chin the same way he had that first night at the party, steel eyes analyzing her face for any hint of ambiguity, "I asked if that's what you want?" he said, still quiet but a little more forcefully.
With his hand on her jaw, Beth couldn't help but remember the feel of his arousal pressing in between her thighs as he boxed her up against that tree. The feel of his teeth nipping at her lip...
She took a deep breath before answering, "Yes."
He pulled her by the small of her back against him and locked his mouth over hers. Beth gasped in pleasant surprise. She stroked her hands over his shirt and up his firm chest. He opened her mouth with his and she twined her tongue with his, earning her a soft moan from Merle. He wasn't holding back like he had before. His hand reached down to palm at her bum as she pulled at his collar.
"We gonna do this, them I'm gon' need you to get a little more horizontal, He whispered, sending a spark pulsing to the apex of her thighs.
Beth pulled back to check their surroundings, but the woods were quiet around them, "Right here," she said moving to sit, the white fluff coming up to wash over her in a soft wave as she pulled him down to rest between her knees. Beth hooked her knees around his hips and pulled Merle down on top of her. His mouth was claiming as it moved slowly down her throat, sucking along the length before nipping her collarbone. Beth loved the way his rough stubble brushed against the soft skin of her neck and hoped she might get the chance to feel it elsewhere. Beth pulled his kiss back to her lips. He balanced on his right forearm, left hand starting to undo the buttons holding her shirt front together but he fumbled with the closure.
"Damn it," he cursed under his chest. He looked embarrassed, but Beth smoothed the pad of her thumb over his scrunched brow as he brought his eyes back to her face,"
"It's okay..." she said, pulling the loose blouse over her head along with her sport bra.
Beth could see the slow opening of his pupils at the sight of her naked breasts, and he muttered something that sounded suspiciously like 'holy shit...' too quietly for Beth to hear clearly. He ducked his head to suck the right one into his mouth while his pointer finger traced the circle of her other nipple before giving it a mild pinch. Her arched up into his touch and pulled at the back hem of his shirt. Seeing what she wanted, Merle pushed back onto his knees to rid himself of the shirt and place it in the pile with her garments.
The first time she had seen Merle shirtless, she hadn't bothered to look along the exposed expanses of skin, but now she looked. He had several scars scattered over his skin. Some were circular like burns, others were deep slashes that left angry red lines across his chest behind the light smattering of chest hair. He had removed the prosthesis as well, leaving the gnarling bands of tissue exposed. The very end looked almost...burned? Like he had held the appendage against a the coil of a hot stove. She had never heard the story of how he had lost the hand, but from the look of the healed flesh she could only assume that it was incredibly painful.
Merle caught the line of her gaze, "Didn't heal real nice huh?"
One of Beth's hands trailed across his chest and down the length of his right arm to his wrist. She noticed the stiffening of his muscles as she came closer to the missing extremity and stopped a coupe of inches before the scaring began. But he seemed to relax slightly when he realized that she had no intention of touching the nub.
"Does it still hurt?"
"Mhmm...sometimes, if I hit wrong or somethin'. I can put it back on..." He said, pushing away and turning to grab the metal prosthesis. But Beth stopped his shoulder.
"'s alright," she said quickly, "You don' have to. Unless you wanna that is..."
Merle looked at her with a half surprised, held confused expression, "Seriously? It...lookin' at this shit don't bother you?"
"Why would it?" she asked honestly.
The previously split expression on his face was taken over by suspicion, but Beth was determined to erase it from his brow. She sat up suddenly to kiss him again and pulled him back against her as she lay into the downy seeds. She wrapped her legs over his hips and arched her pelvis against him. He moaned as he collided between the valley of her legs. She wanted the barriers between them broken. She reached between them for the buckle of his belt and unfastened it before moving on to unbutton and shove her own jeans down and off over her boots. He pulled her in tighter, mouth moving to her neck before guiding his hand between the valley of her breasts and training down her stomach. He brushed one finger between her legs, and Beth bit her lips together as an attempt to keep herself quiet. She opened her knees wider, encouraging him to come closer. She felt wrapped up in him. Bare skin against bare skin as the scruff on his jaw brushed against her chin. She pulled away slightly to brush her nose against his.
"Come on," she whispered, "Keep going."
Beth had never had sex like this before. Sure, she'd had sex, but it hadn't been pleasurable. It was just something she did. Something she was willing to do for Jimmy even if he hadn't thought to make sure she felt good in the moment and only assumed that some women just couldn't orgasm no matter what.
Merle brought his hand to rest over her head on the ground and slid himself into her warmth. Beth felt the elastic of her pleasure just about ready to snap, and as she came undone he followed her, mouth locked over hers as she sighed his name.
She felt his body relax on top of her, and after a moment he pulled back to bring his trousers back up and re fasten the belt buckle. Beth still felt pleasantly as she urged herself to redress. After aroused she was finished dressing, she took the hand he offered up from the ground.
Beth pulled the chain off of her neck that contained the small silver key to the cashe shed. This one was the larger of the two. It was a simple windowless wooden structure with a flat roof and a heavy metal barn pin latch held closed with a pad lock. Beth checked for signs of looting but found none as Merle began to pull supplies out of the duffel. Someone had dropped off a couple of rolled yoga mats since she had been her last that would be a welcome comfort for any group that had to shelter here. Beth had only had the need to sleep here once. It had been a solo trip and a storm had blown in. She hadn't wanted to travel with the storm darkening the sky well before nightfall and had spent the night on the dusty floor with a pouch of Olivia's salted catfish jerky for dinner.
"You tried it?" Beth asked casually as she took the clipboard off of the nail where it hung to make tallies.
"Try what?" Merle asked, and Beth tossed a packet of fish jerky towards him. Merle snatched the packet out of the air, examining it before breaking out in a smile.
"Ain't seen this in a while. Thought we were supposed to be puttin' things here, not takin' 'em out."
"'s a long walk back. "Sides, we got lots. Olivia makes it every time someone catches a catfish."
"Olivia..." He said slowly, trying to place a face to the name, "Ain't that the real plump-lookin' broad y'all got up at the pantry? Real quiet type?"
"Yeah, that's her. An' you do know she's only quiet 'cause you scare the hell out o' her right? Normally she not like that with the others."
"The fuck're you talkin' about Blondie. Don' think I've said more 'n' two words t' her. Only e'er go up there to get bullets or drop off deer."
Beth let out a chuckle, "I think that's probably why. Folks in there ain't used to seein' people walkin' around covered in deer guts and holdin' shotguns."
Merle scoffed and muttered, "Fuckin' yuppies..." under his breath.