A/N: *sigh* Once again, content regulations are making me take a big chunk out of this chapter. If you would like to read the sexy uncensored version please check out my wattpad (greenaardvark) or AO3 (The_Green_Aaardvark) accounts. Lastly, I would like to dedicate this chapter to my reader Athlete Girl, who recently reached out to me about this book. Hope you're doing ok!

Beth closed the back door behind her and walked out into the evening light. Rick had gotten back a half hour ago and had taken over cuddling a sleepy Judith on the sofa. The fabric of Beth's dress clung to her legs. It had cooled slightly, though the air still felt muggy, and there was a light breeze blowing across the grass.

She had seen him cleaning some of the shotguns from the pantry; whether it was an actual desire to help, a way to keep himself busy, or just an irritation at the sloppy way it had been done by the person before him, she wasn't sure.

"Hey Blondie. Wasn't sure you were commin' by," He said, finishing assembling the gun and placing it in the finished pile before looking up at her.

"I told you I would," She said moving to sit beside him; closer than a friend would, further than a lover would.

He lifted a demijohn from beside him, pulled the cork out with his teeth and took a swig before passing it to her. She lifted the bottle to her mouth, noticing that it really did smell like gasoline, before taking a large mouthful. She felt the burn in her nose and her eyes watered slightly as she turned her head to cough at the taste. Merle was looking at her from the corner of his eye with a smirk on his mouth, clearly trying not to laugh at her reaction.

"I warned you it tastes like gasoline."

"Yeah, you ain't kidding," she said before taking another mouthful and then grimacing before passing the bottle back. He took a mouthful of the liquid, not even reacting to it, and placed the bottle between them.

"You get used to it after a while. Either that or you get lit enough not to give a shit anymore."

"An' which one are you?"

He barked out a laugh, "Bit o' both I guess. Been out 'ere a while."

Beth was quiet for a moment. He was waiting for her? She hadn't known he would be. She had assumed that he wouldn't even want her to stay after picking up the bottle. She took another swig from the demijohn, reveling in the slight dizziness that came with the strength of the alcohol and the shaky courage that started in her belly.

"How long is a while?" she asked passing the bottle to him again.

He looked away from her and out at the wall, drinking more before taking a deep breath, "Finished four guns waitin' on you."

"Why?"

"Needed cleanin'..."

"No," Beth said quietly. He still refused to look at her, instead reaching for the bottle again, "Why're...what're you waitin' on me for?"

"Had to do somethin'. Ain't nothin better to do 'round here..."

"I never realized how much time there was to fill before we got here. Was always work to do on the farm, and at the prison there were always things that needed doin'. On the road it was only about survival; but here, when you don't got to be runnin' all the time, not fightin' for your life every minute of every day, everyday feels long now..."

"'s like after I got out o' the military. Do whatever job you get so you can eat. Drink whatever you got to make the night go by easier. Only difference now is I'm livin' in fuckin' suburbia with a bunch o' prissy folks walkin' round 'n' starin' at me."

"What about the prison?"

"Been in an' out o' prisons all my life. Only thing different 'bout that one was people tryin' to break in instead o' out. People're always tryin' to kill each other in prison; just weren't as successful at it 'fore all this. Would've gone back, but the military didn't want me no more. Caught an officer harassing one o' the women; was groping at her...'n' this was 'fore all tha' S.A.P.R stuff. Saw what he was tryin' t'do...where it was goin'... so I punched him in the face. Knew the fucker outranked me; was an officer. Proll'y should've walked away but...I-I couldn't just watch it again...not after seein' how my Ma was."

Beth drank again before saying, "On the road, after...it happened...I bled for three weeks. Don't even know why, or if something was wrong with me on the inside. I had to stich myself up with sterilized dental floss and a sewing needle. in a burnt-out trailer." Beth swiped underneath her eye and wiped the slight moisture on her dress before leaning her head onto his shoulder, "You did the right thing for that woman. Don' you ever fuckin' think otherwise."

Merle pulled her into his side, the nub of his wrist resting against the edge of her hip.

"Drink some more o' that," he said, "It'll help..."

But Beth moved to straddle his lap. Merle looked at her confusedly as she draped her arms over his strong shoulders.

"It won't," she said, "Drinkin' that ain't gonna help me, but...but this does. Feelin' something that...that ain't like that; somethin' that's nice. It helps to... to at least be able to try and rewrite over what happened."

"That guy on the road, he dead?"

"Yeah."

"Good," Merle said before tilting his chin up to kiss her, "I'mma fuck you so good you ain't never gon' think 'bout that asshole again."

XXX

She kissed him once more before pulling off and adjusting her dress. She could feel fluid dripping down the inside of her thigh in a sticky mess. Merle had already fixed his clothing when she turned back to face him.

"You ought to remember how to do that," she said, "For next time."

Merle smiled at her suggestively, "Next time huh? There goin' to be a next time Blondie?"

Beth shifted on her feet a little self-consciously. She knew he was just teasing her, and she tried to sound oleaginous as she responded ," Fuck, I hope so."

Merle laughed at her retort and shot her a wink before saying, "Go home 'n' get cleaned up Blondie. An' don' forget you're bottle."