Today was the day, at long last. The day of Uther and Catrina's wedding. It had been several weeks since the Dragon and Gargoyle, and Un-dead Sorcerer attacks, and in that time Camelot had been very busy, with the town rebuilding, and the castle being repaired, and also...wedding preparations. Arthur was even less keen on this marriage, since after he had to tell his Father and his future wife the Dragonlord escaped, they had been very cross and cold to him. Arthur didn't care much though honestly, he would not allow an innocent man to die, over an old vendetta. A new time needed to be upon them, where...maybe Magic was not legal, but not all magic needed to be punished by death. After all, Balinor had surely used magic to heal Arthur, that much was obvious, and surely that was done out of good. Balinor reaped no benefit from helping Camelot or healing Arthur.
Merlin was helping Arthur dress, for the ceremony, it had to be the most formal of attire of course, right down to the crown. Arthur never liked wearing his Prince crown much, it was rather tight on his head, the last time he had to wear it Merlin made side comments. This time, Arthur just held it, until it was time to leave. Merlin patted his shoulders, and his chest, several times over, to make sure there were no lines or wrinkles in his clothing.
"Give it a rest, Merlin," commented Arthur, and Merlin's cheeks turned red, for a second, and he let his arms fall to his sides, looking Arthur over still though. As if to see if there were any imperfections. Arthur stare back at him, with a raised eyebrow. At least he was deciding to be a good servant today, not late or just gone...like sometimes he was.
"I'm sorry, I've never been to a wedding before," said Merlin. "I don't know what to do."
"Yes you have," said Arthur, and when Merlin pulled a confused face at him, he grinned. "Ours."
Merlin's confused face turned a little bit into a horror struck one,and his cheeks were turning red again. Arthur found that rather amusing. "I...I don't think-"
"I'm joking, Idiot," said Arthur. "That wasn't a real marriage ceremony, it was a trick."
"Right...it was," mumbled Merlin, and turned quickly, to grab the red cape, that had been laid out, over the table. He wrapped it around Arthur's shoulders, and tied a loose knot, around his neck. "Gaius says that was more of a handfasting anyway-"
"Yes, I know," commented Arthur.
"So, even if it were real...which is wasn't, we wouldn't be married anyway."
"In some religions, but in others..."
Merlin stopped what he was doing, his fussing over where the strings to the cape might fall. He let them go, and they fell slightly too much to the right. "Um...well, it isn't as if we really have to worry about it."
"Who says I'm worried?" Arthur looked at Merlin, and Merlin swallowed rather hard. He opened and shut his mouth twice, and then whatever he was going to say was lost, because suddenly there was a knock on the door. And Merlin might have looked a little bit like he was saved in that moment, but Arthur did wonder what he was going to say. Morgana and Gwen walked in, as Merlin let them do so. Arthur was meant to escort Morgana to the ceremony. Morgana looked beautiful, as she often did, and Arthur refused to tell her so, as she was always rather smug about it. Gwen looked rather nice too, she wore a pink dress, much less puffy than Morgana's silvery-white one, but still very nice, and her hair was down, in long curls.
"You look lovely today, Guinevere," said Arthur, and he did so, because so often Gwen thought very little of herself. Gwen looked up at him and blushed worse than Merlin just had been, and he smiled at her.
"Thank you, Sire," she said, not meeting his eyes.
"I told her the same, she's stunning!" said Morgana, happily, looking at Gwen with such a kind smile, Arthur had barely ever seen it, and it was never offered toward him. There were only two people Morgana was ever nice to and they were both in this room, and one of them was not him.
"And do you know who does not look stunning?" offered Arthur then, and Morgana looked at him darkly. He smirked, and turned his head, back to where Merlin was, he had just been standing there, idly, until now, when he jumped a little, at Arthur's gaze. "Merlin...are you really going to wear that to my Father's wedding?"
Merlin looked ashamed, for a whole second, before his face turned hard and he looked at Arthur with dislike. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"
"You only wear it every single day!" retorted Arthur. "You could at least try..."
"I don't have anything else!" Merlin shot back, and he sounded a bit tired, as if he were tired of Arthur mentioning this. Arthur would not tire of mentioning it though.
"You look fine, Merlin," said Morgana then, sharply. "Don't listen to him, he's a Prat."
"Oh, I know," said Merlin, darkly. There was another knock on the door then, and the Guard did not wait, he popped the door open and stuck his head inside.
"Sire...My Lady, it is time."
He pushed the door open all the way, and held it open for them, as Morgana walked over and tucked her arm underneath Arthur's, and they headed out together. This was a big event, many Lords and Lady's would be attending, Knights and even a few Royals and Noblemen would be there too. It was all the people of the town were talking about. The King was wedding for the second time, they were all very keen to see what the future Queen would be like. A cold and bitter bitch, Arthur thought. He took Morgana all the way to where she was meant to stand, and gave her a small smile, before turning around and meeting his Father half way down the isle. As he did this, he noticed Gwen and Merlin standing next to each other, much further back, behind the 'important people.' Arthur thought that when he got married he would want Merlin in the front, and then not one step, next to his Father, later, did he rethink this and think how horrible that would be, to look out and see Merlin right there, while he married someone else...so, instead, Merlin wasn't allowed to be in the room...hell, in Camelot. He wasn't even allowed to be in Camelot, so then Arthur couldn't accidentally not marry whatever royal he was forced to marry for the crown.
He walked next to the King, all the way to the three little steps, and then took his leave, as Uther climbed them. He stood off to the left, and waited. It was only a second or two later, that the doors burst open and in walked Lady Catrina, her hair done up rather high, and her white dress flowing around her. Arthur got the impression of an angry bird, rather than a bride. He watched as she floated down the isle, her head held in a high sort of stiff way and a smug look on her face. She was starting to show her true colors, and they were just as ugly as Uther's.
Arthur watched the ceremony, and watched after it was done, as the two floated back down the isle together. People followed behind them, leaving the area, it needed to be redecorated and set for the feast they would be having tonight, in celebration of the wedding. It would take a few hours for the servants to do so, which meant it would be awhile, but not long enough so that Arthur could change, out of these uncomfortable, formal clothes. Most everyone was out of the room now, but Arthur still stand there, reeling from his Father's mistakes. He felt hot, in the neck, and his head hurt, from the squeeze of the crown there. Merlin came and stood next to him, his eyes traveled over him, slowly, apparently trying to figure Arthur out. Arthur looked over then, and they caught eyes for a second, Merlin smiled at him.
Arthur pulled the crown from his head, without much thought, and plopped it on top of Merlin's. It fit on him much better, so perhaps Arthur just had a rather fat head, Merlin did seem to think so. The man in question sputtered a little as this happened, and went to reach to take it off, but Arthur batted his hand down.
"Leave it."
"Arthur..." said Merlin, in a bit of a warning. Arthur would not listen to it. "If anyone saw...if your father saw me wearing your crown-"
"He probably wouldn't care, he'd probably call me a romantic or something stupid..." commented Arthur, offhanded still. "And he's much too busy fondling his new wife to bother coming back now." Merlin frowned, and Arthur shoved him in the arm, gently. "Come on, it suits you."
Merlin looked down, at his boots, and the crown tilted forward a little. "I'm not after a crown, Arthur..."
"What are you after then?" asked Arthur, honestly. And maybe a little too honestly, because Merlin looked back up then, and bit his lip. Arthur stare at him, until he finally decided to answer.
He shook his head, "...nothing."
Arthur didn't know what he was after with that question, but that definitely wasn't it. Maybe he just wanted his feelings to be matched, to know that they weren't unrequited, But it was a foolish thought, because Merlin didn't feel the same way, Arthur had known that. Merlin lifted the crown off his head then, and Arthur didn't stop him, Merlin tucked it under his arm, and waited a beat, for Arthur to walk, and he followed behind him, when he did. They didn't speak all the way to his chambers, and when they got there Merlin quickly excused himself, to go see Gaius about something or other...Arthur didn't listen.
He didn't know what was wrong with him, alright yes...he was irritated at his Father's wedding, but that clearly wasn't all. And if he kept going on like this, Merlin was going to know, he was going to figure it out. No matter how stupid Arthur tended to call Merlin, he really wasn't, and Arthur was afraid his feelings were becoming incredibly obvious. Apparently, he was both rubbish at having feelings, and also keeping said feelings a secret.
Merlin didn't return to his chambers, only met Arthur outside of the feast. They couldn't speak either, because it was starting and Arthur had to hurry to his seat. He sat next to Morgana, who was drinking a rather large amount of wine tonight.
"I need it," she commented, half way through the feast. "It's the only way I can look at them kissing without getting sick."
The King and his now Wife had been kissing a lot, much too much for two people who were eating. Put your lips on the chicken, not on each other, for God sake! Arthur didn't want to look at them anymore, and his eyes traveled over to where Merlin stood, jug of wine in his hands, while he talked to Gwen, tucked away in a corner. She was smiling at him, very happily, and he was laughing. Arthur couldn't hear it, but he knew the way Merlin looked when he was laughing. Gwen touched her long curls, and leaned over and tapped Merlin's hand, as if he were saying something funny, Arthur wondered what. And more so than anything, Arthur wanted to be the one he was talking to, even though they did talk, almost all the time...
"Why don't go you walk over there and talk to him, instead of staring at him like an idiot?" asked Morgana, in Arthur's ear, and he frowned and narrowed his eyes down, at his plate. "You two play too many games with each other, it's unhealthy."
"We do not..." said Arthur, but truthfully, he didn't know what she meant by that. How did they play games, exactly?
"You two are obviously in love, you've shagged each other," said Morgana, and Arthur didn't bother to tell her the truth. "Just commit. But you did commit...you got married, so why play this game?"
"I am not playing a game," retorted Arthur. "And how the hell did you know about that anyway?"
"Which part?" offered Morgana then, with a smirk. "The shagging...?"
"The marriage...?" Arthur raised an eyebrow.
"Oh," she laughed, darkly. "Gwen told me."
"How did she know?" asked Arthur. What the hell was this? Was this a Kingdom or a Hen house? She sighed, deeply, and rolled her eyes.
"Merlin told her..."
Arthur frowned, and he supposed that did make sense. Kind of....he couldn't understand how girls could get information to each other so quickly. It was something to behold, truly. Now that they had all eaten, it was the entertainment and dancing part of any good feast. Flute players started off, somewhere, and the King and new Queen did not dance, they only watched as several couples got up and started dancing with each other. Arthur took this time to stand up as well, and headed to where Merlin and Gwen had been standing before, he could hear Morgana tsking, as he did this. But hadn't that been what she told him to do anyway? When he got to where they had been, Gwen was still there, but Merlin was gone.
"Guinevere," said Arthur, and Gwen smiled up at him. "Where's Merlin?"
"He went to fetch more wine," said Gwen, she continued to smile at him, clearly not sure what else to say. He didn't know either, and so, he just stood there. "It was a beautiful wedding," she said, after a long moment and Arthur nodded.
"Yes...lovely," he commented. "I'm glad it's over."
She giggled at this. "I think your Father is too, I've never seen him so happy."
"Yes...it's interesting, neither have I."
"Why don't you sound pleased for him?" asked Gwen, and Arthur shrugged.
"I think he is rushing things, wouldn't you say?"
"If I found someone who made me happy like that, I wouldn't want to wait around either...Sire," she added at the end, as if disagreeing with Arthur would get her in trouble. Merlin did it all the time, so it hardly would. He frowned, but nodded his head anyway, because she was right. He didn't get the chance to tell her so, however, because then Merlin was returning, with a jug full of red wine. He faltered, a little, in his steps, when he noticed Arthur there. What was that for? It wasn't uncommon for Arthur to be there, they saw each other constantly.
"Arthur," said Merlin, and Arthur smiled at him, the best he could, because things around Merlin felt tense, for some reason. Merlin grinned back, and the tense Arthur thought was there melted away suddenly. He relaxed a bit. "Why are you harassing Gwen?"
"Harassing?" retorted Arthur. "Excuse me...I didn't know talking to someone was me harassing them."
"Didn't you know?" offered Merlin, with a happy sort of grin, and Arthur was glad to see it. Maybe he was over thinking too many things. "Oh, I meant to tell you..."
Arthur openly and very boldly, rolled his eyes, so Merlin could see it. "You are a rather big Clotpole like that."
"NO!" said Merlin, rather loudly, and got a few looks too, but Arthur ignored them. "That's my word, you dollophead!"
"You two really are so strange..." muttered Gwen, and took the jug from Merlin, and walked off. Arthur smirked though, and took a step toward Merlin.
"Dollop...head?" he offered, over exaggerating the words. "No, I think that's you again, Merlin."
Merlin pouted, but it didn't last long, his grin returned. "Well...I might be a dollophead, but at least I'm not a Dollophead Clotpole, pratty...-"
"Really...?"asked Arthur.
"Condescending...very condescending...."
Arthur rolled his eyes. "Are you quite finished?"
"Perverted..."
"Mmm," Arthur nodded. "Yes, continue..."
"Cabbage-headed...Ass."
"It does take hard work, being so wonderful," retorted Arthur, and Merlin shook his head, but smiled still. Arthur looked around then, not really very interested in the feast. "Let's go," he said, and Merlin's smile fell, he looked around.
"I can't..." he said, holding up his hands, as if he still held the whine jug. "I have to serve."
"I am revealing you of you serving duties for the feast tonight," said Arthur, with a Noble sort of tone in his voice, Merlin continued to frown. "No one will care."
Merlin stare at him, for several long seconds, before he sighed and nodded. Arthur turned to leave then, knowing Merlin was following behind him. He chanced a glance, once more, at the couple; Uther was kissing Catrina's forehead and Arthur wanted to puke. So he knew, as they headed up the stairs now, to his chambers, he had made the right choice in leaving. When they got there, Arthur walked in first and pulled off his cape, throwing in onto the table, carelessly, as he walked passed. He pulled his crown off too, and dropped it onto his bed. Merlin followed behind him, picking up the bits of clothing Arthur was leaving behind. Arthur pulled open his wardrobe and was about to start pulling of his tunic when his reflection, in the small mirror built into the cupboard, caught his eye.
He look himself over, as Merlin started turning down his bed for sleep. In the matter of a moment or two, several things crossed Arthur's mind, as he stood there, and look at himself. Was he attractive? He never much considered his looks, he had always just been told he were handsome, but what made him so? His teeth were not perfectly set in his mouth, his hair, when longer, went down his neck in a point, and his head was too large. How did that make him handsome? He had to think what an attractive man might look like, and he had to admit, he never saw another man attractive, they were just a man, just like him...nothing special.
And this begged the question, as Merlin too, was a man. Though Arthur did not place him in the same place he would put a Knight, but he was a man. Was Arthur attracted to him? His eyes traveled to where Merlin stood, his back turned to him. Arthur knew that he loved him, but love came in many forms, though none seemed to fit Merlin exactly right. He knew there was a connection there, he had a connection with Merlin stronger than he had ever had with anyone else, even his own Father, and it grew...it grew every day. But did Arthur desire him? Sometimes, he decided, he did. He thought of kissing him, they almost had, but there was more...more than just kissing, and Arthur couldn't decide of he wanted that. He had done such things, with a girl before, but a man was much different than a woman...they're bodies were different. And Arthur had never seen Merlin shirtless, let alone anything else, how was he to know? How was he to know how the curve of his back was different than a girls, or the shape of his hips...Merlin was sort of just this tall, lanky thing, kind of like a tree, and how was that appealing exactly?
But then, how would Arthur ever be appealing to him, with such a big head? he sighed, and put his eyes back forward, before Merlin could turn around and see him looking."Do you find me attractive?" he asked, before he told himself not to. he regretted it at once, and he didn't look over again, but he knows Merlin froze and turned toward him.
"Arthur..." said Merlin, and he sounded tired, even though he hadn't a moment ago, and there was something else there too, like dread. Arthur chose to ignore these things. "You shouldn't be asking me that..."
"Why not?" Arthur turned toward him then, and yes, he had turned, he was facing Arthur now, and even in the darkened room, Arthur could still see the bit of red on his cheeks. "I'm sure you just don't want to answer because clearly you think I'm ugly..." he retorted, and he forced his voice to sound offhanded, but it was not, not at all. "Too busy fawning over the Dragonlord."
"What?" Merlin sounded shocked, truly shocked, but Arthur only rolled his eyes.
"Oh please...I saw the way you looked at him."
"WHAT?!" repeated Merlin, but Arthur didn't have time for it anymore, he didn't want to think about it.
"I have been told my whole life that I am attractive, but how could I be?" offered Arthur then, and the floored look on Merlin's face washed away, he stare at Arthur now. "And I only thought you, of all people, would tell me the truth..."
"I think..." said Merlin, and then he paused, to swallow hard. "I think many people find you attractive, yes. Gwen thinks you're handsome, and Morgana does too, she just won't admit it..." he shrugged and took a step closer to Arthur. "I think you are very desirable to girls, because you're strong and a great warrior, you're rich and a prince. You could offer any girl you marry a good life, a chance to be queen, even...they would be be safe with you, and that's all the things a girl looks for in a husband. So, of course they think you're attractive..."
"But you think different?" offered Arthur then, Merlin smirked and shrugged his shoulders.
"I know the real you."
Arthur frowned, "Which is what...?"
Merlin's smirk turned into a small smile, as he titled his head and looked over Arthur. "I know that you are very insecure, about too many things, that's why you asked me this, that's why you hate the idea that Leon can beat you in battle, because you're afraid you'll disappoint someone, and you shouldn't, because you don't have to be perfect all of the time, Arthur."
Arthur continued to frown. "I'm not sure that's quite true..."
"It is," said Merlin, quickly. "But there's more..." Arthur openly rolled his eyes and Merlin didn't seem to care much, that he did. "I know that you're impossible to wake up in the morning, and then you're quite rude about it, when you do wake up. But I also know the peaceful sort of look on your face, when you are sleeping, and I wait as long as I can, before I have to wake you. I know that you're pig about food, and a spoiled prat, who hates my cooking, but I also know the look in your eyes, when you've realize I brought your favorites, or the noises you make when you eat something you like..." Merlin's smile grew, from a small one to one that looked rather fond. Arthur only stare at him. "I know the way your voice sounds when you're really angry, but I know how it sounds when you're happy too, or joking. I know how to make you smile and I know the differences in your laughs ,if you really thinking something is funny, you'll throw your head back and laugh so hard, that for a second it seems like nothing in the world is the matter, and I know the right things to say to make you laugh like that...it's normally something stupid, but I'd do it all the time, if I didn't think you'd sack me..."
"I wouldn't," muttered Arthur, not sure what to say, and even if he did, he didn't think he could say it. Merlin only looked at him, and Arthur felt foolish, and like he should speak, because Merlin just had...quite a lot. "Why...why are you telling me this?"
"Because, Arthur," said Merlin. "It shouldn't matter if you're attractive on the outside, it's what's on the inside that matters. I know you're heart better than anyone, and if a girl can't see the things I do than she doesn't deserve you."
"I'm not sure-" but he stopped then, I'm not sure anyone else does deserve me, he was going to say, because he didn't think he could find anyone else who deserved him more than Merlin did. But the sound of a woman screaming just outside of the room took both of their attention anyway from this conversation. Merlin turned before Arthur had, and rushed toward the door. Arthur followed him. He pulled it open just enough to see out, Arthur looked too, and he had to concentrate really hard on not thinking about how close they were, after the conversation they had just had. Lady Catrina was running passed the door, screaming, but also giggling at the same time, and only seconds later Uther was fallowing after her, at a slower run.
They passed Arthur's door, and Merlin opened it more, so they could get a better look. "Come here, my little Vixen!" Uther was saying, and then suddenly pushed Catrina against a wall. She let out a high-pitched scream and then laughed, dramatically.
"My LORD!" she said, and fanned herself. Uther pressed her harder, into the wall.
"You will be saying that many more times tonight, my Love, I assure you..."
Merlin made sounds like he was vomiting then, and he walked away from the door. Arthur did the same, and shut it behind them. He felt his face a little red now and he wished for the nice feeling he had, at Merlin's words, would return to him. "Oh, that was disgusting!" Merlin was saying now, Arthur had to agree. "Ew..."
"I think I need to bathe now..."
"Well, I hope you're joking, because I'm not going out there any time soon!"
Arthur grinned. "I suppose you'll just have to stay here then."
(A/N: This chapter took me forever to edit, it wouldn't have taken that long if my cat hadn't decided to climb my closet like a mountain, and then knock all of my school books onto the floor. SHE'S BAD! Also, I would also like to say, when I wrote this the things Merlin said to Arthur about knowing him straight up made me cry...I'm not sure why, it was just very cute. But away, hope you enjoyed!)