"Arthur..." she spoke his name and it felt like a dream, she smiled at him, so much warmth and love in her eyes, as she leaned forward and touched his face with her very, very cold hands. He cringed at it, not because of the cold, but because her touch wasn't all the way there. She was in between life and death, hung there, like clothes to dry. His already wet eyes leaked even more, as he look at her with so much love, it almost burst his heart. She looked at him much the same. "I never thought I would be able to touch you again, how much you have grown since the last time I have...my only wish is we had more time together..."

"Mine, too," said Arthur, although his voice sounded strange, weak and cracking, from his constant flow of tears. Arthur's manhood had long sense abandoned him. He didn't entirely care, he knew his Mother would never judge him for it, and if Morgause or Merlin saw him...oh well, he didn't care about anyone else in this moment. Only his Mother. He would stay here, in this limbo, forever, if he thought he could stay with her. "I have wished everyday that I could see you, speak to you..."

His Mother smiled at him with such kindness and love that it made fresh tears form at the corners of Arthur's eyes, the likes of which did not leave her. She reached up and wiped said tears away. "It is cruel we could not be together..."

"Tell him why!" said a musty voice then, and suddenly Morgause was there, standing in between them. Arthur felt furry fill him, at her presence, only because she was ruining this moment. But his Mother only looked concerned. "Tell him what Uther has done, tell him what he did to you!"

"I-" started Ygraine, but stopped, looking over Morgause, with a strange look. "I will not tell him such things."

"TELL HIM!" Yelled out Morgause. "Tell him of his Father's betrayal, tell him how he sacrificed you, to get what he wanted. Tell him of his arrogance and cruelty against magic, when he used it himself!" Arthur stare back at his Mother now, who had poised herself and only softly glared at Morgause, as she raged on. "TELL HIM, OR I-"

Suddenly, Morgause flew backwards, there had been a loud crack that filled the room and then Morgause fell silent and flew back, into the beam that held up a statue of a woman, and then fell to the floor, unconscious. Arthur watched this, and then turned back to his Mother, in alarm. The room grew warmer then, as his Mother's body, as if a vision, flickered for a moment, and then steadied. She look around the room, for only a second or two, and then smiled back at Arthur.

"What was that?" asked Arthur, as Ygraine smiled at him, rather knowingly now. He had no idea why, he was honestly rather confused as to what just happened. "What did you do to her...?"

"That was not me, Arthur," she said then, and shook her head. "Pay no attention to it, or her."

"What did she mean my Father used magic?" Arthur asked then, and his Mother sighed.

"I suppose you must know," she said, almost sadly, as she gazed up at him, with deep, blue eyes. "Your Father and I tried to have a child for many years, but I could not conceive. Eventually, your Father grew anxious, he needed a legitimate heir, and I could not give him one..." She sighed, yet again and shrugged her shoulders. "Many think Uther went behind my back to Nimueh, that I did not know, but we had decided together. We were desperate...I had always wanted children all of my life, and I was failing my husbands only wish of me. I was devastated, it was actually my idea to speak to Nimueh, we thought magic might be able to help us. Your Father had no idea what the price would be, if he did...I know in my heart he would have never agreed. Your Father loved me, Arthur, as I loved him, he gives that love to you now, as I give my love to both of you still...you must understand this."

"Wait..." Arthur shook his head, he was still rather dazzled, by all that had happened, he wasn't sure he was following like he should. "You mean my Father used magic to-"

"So I could conceive. A life was created where otherwise there would not be," said Ygraine. "Such powerful magic always comes with a price, Arthur, and I was more than willing to pay it. Just looking at you, the few moments we had together, I would give my life for you a hundred more times over."

"But he used magic!" Arthur argued. "He used it willingly, and now he murderers whoever dare say the world magic!"

"My death changed your Father, his heart grew cold," she explained, reaching out and taking Arthur's hand in hers, as if she were pleading for him to understand this. "He blamed magic for my death, but he also blames himself...I know, I feel it in him. He is blinded by grief."

"That doesn't give him an excuse to hurt innocent people!" argued Arthur, Ygraine nodded, sadly.

"I know this," she said. "But please...try not to see your Father differently. Love him, take care of him for me, Arthur. He needs you." Arthur shook his head, tears welling in his eyes again. He felt torn, because he knew Uther was wrong, but he wanted to follow his Mother's wishes, and he knew he would do so, without question. "Although I wish for you to love him and be gentle with him, you must remember...not everyone who is a sorcerer is dangerous. Magic is all around you, Arthur," her eyes swept over the room, as she said these words, and she looked, for a rather long second, at something just passed Arthur's shoulder. Not wanting to take his eyes from her, he didn't look. "Magic is everywhere," she continued then. "Inside of you...treat it with kindness, with respect and never forsake it. Magic can be a dangerous enemy, yes, but an even more powerful friend."

Arthur nodded, but just then, Morgause started to stir, on the ground beside them. Ygraine looked down at her and then back at Arthur. Arthur understood at once, what this meant. "I don't want you to go..."

"I must, Arthur," she spoke softly, and reached up and touched his face with her hands again, they were warmer this time. "It has been a gift we have gotten to speak to each other at all, keep these moments with you always."

"I will," Arthur whispered, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his forehead, and kept them there, for a long moment.

"I love you, Arthur," she said to him. "With all of my heart."

"And I you..."

"I know..." she smiled, as she moved back her fingers traced down his face and over his eyes, telling him to close them. He did, with one last longing look at his Mother, who he would never see again. Not while he was alive anyway. He felt her there, for another moment, while his eyes were closed, and then a gust of air ran through him and the presence was gone. Arthur opened his eyes to find the room empty. Well, not empty, as Merlin still stood in the corner and Morgause still lay, now mumbling, on the ground. But it felt empty in the same sense, because the light that filled it, his Mother, was now gone.

He thought that once she was gone, his eyes would dry, but they did not, they began to leak again. As not only tears fell, but rather loud sobs came out along with it, he forced a hand over his mouth to hush himself. Apparently, seeing his Mother had undone years of training himself not to do this. The floodgates had opened and he was not entirely sure they would ever stop. He knew he must look pathetic.

There was something touching his shoulder then, something strong, yet rather gentle, and he looked over to be met with Merlin's eyes. They struck him, for a second, as if he had forgotten what they looked like, after staring at his Mother's for so long. Merlin looked at him with sturdiness, the likes of which Arthur couldn't muster right now.

"We have to go, Arthur," he spoke, strong, but with softness. "Come on..."

And he took Arthur's hand in his own, and guided him, back the way they had came.

Merlin guided them the whole way, because there was no way Arthur could so much was walk properly right now, let alone pay attention to where they were going. Merlin took them back through the lake, back to the horses, where they still waited, continued to hold onto Arthur's hand all while guiding both of the horses along. It was dark and much too late to ride them now, though they did need to get far enough away so Morgause didn't track them down. Whatever plan she had that was foiled, she would probably be rather displeased about it. But Arthur would worry about her another time, for now his tears had stopped, but there was a somberness looming just under his skin, that he couldn't quite shake.

Merlin had found them a safe place to hide, for the night, until it was light enough in the morning to travel back to Camelot. It was a patch of grass big enough for two men and two horses, but shrouded by tall bushes and low hanging trees, a rather good hiding spot, if Arthur was in his right mind he still wouldn't tell Merlin so. Arthur sat against a tree trunk and said nothing at all, not a single word, as Merlin found water for the horses and themselves, Arthur refused it. Merlin started a fire and made some kind of food, Arthur had refused that too, when Merlin had offered it. Merlin had pushed away his own food as well, only staring at Arthur then, with worry.

Arthur found he couldn't pull himself from this deep pit of sadness, this hollowness and empty feeling he felt inside. He supposed he was grateful he got to see his Mother, but the loneliness that followed, the heartache at the thought that he had to continue life without her, just as he had always had to before. But for the briefest of moments, for no more time than what it takes to discuses the weather, he had had a mother, one he could talk to and asks questions to, one that would give him advice...but now he had nothing at all, once again, and forever. It was cruel and unfair, and he wanted to hate his Father for it, but he couldn't find it in himself to, his Mother had asked him not to. But surely it was Uther's fault, was it not? Was he not foolish and arrogant like Morgause said? Arthur had seen firsthand, his arrogance.

But he had loved her...just as Arthur loved her, but unlike Arthur, Uther got to know her and still made these choices, Arthur would have not made these choices, Arthur would have found out the price, long before he agreed to the deal. Wouldn't he? Truthfully, Arthur didn't know if he would, he had agreed to meet Morgause without knowing if she planned on killing him or not, but betting on your own life was much easier than betting on someone else's. Arthur would not have bet on Merlin's. Although, Arthur supposed it was different, as Uther had wanted a baby and Arthur was being held at knife point, maybe they do not relate at all.

Arthur supposed he was happy he had found this information out, that he now knew the circumstances of his birth, as no one was allowed to even speak of it, and only recently, the last year, had Uther started even talking about Arthur's Mother. But Arthur did wish he had not taken up so much time only talking about this, he realized now that this changed nothing, it was only talks of his Father and quick I love you's, there was no talk of what Ygraine liked to do in her spare time, what she disliked most about being Queen. Arthur felt selfish, so focused on his own issues and that of his Father, that he did not take the time to really get to know his Mother, to learn her, and for years that's all he had ever wanted and he wasted the precious moments he had with her focusing on his Father and magic...

What a waste, his heart broke a little more now, yet again, at the thought that he still knew next to nothing about his Mother and he never would, he could only ever hear off-handed memories from other people. He supposed he knew the way she spoke now, the sound of her voice. Though shaded by death, he knew her touch, and could feel her love for him...but was that enough, could that last for the rest of Arthur's life?

Without realizing it right away, he was crying again, he didn't react to it now, just felt the warm tears rolling down his cheeks and he made no move to wipe them away. They rolled all the way down his face, passed his jawbone and onto his neck, where they ley wet and cold. It wasn't as if he had forgotten Merlin was there, Merlin was always such a presence in his life that he no matter his mood he could always just feel Merlin there, without even having to see him. But it was a shock when Arthur looked up and Merlin was just right there, in front of Arthur. It made him jump a bit, in surprise. He was on his knees, looking at Arthur so intently that it made Arthur swallow hard. He felt his bottom lip tremble as he did this and decided not to feel shame for it, because Merlin was not looking at him with judgment, but with something else entirely.

Merlin leaned forward then, with both hands, and brushed the tears away the with his thumps and for a half a second Arthur was back in that temple, his Mother standing before him, doing much the same. Arthur remembered then, something his Father had told him, a long time ago, back when Arthur was still stupid, more stupid than he is now that is, back before he realized that Merlin was always and will always be much more than just a servant to him. His Father had told him Merlin reminded him of Arthur's Mother, and Arthur had brushed it off then, ignored it, simply thought Uther was out of his mind, which he is, but for other, much more dangerous reasons. Now, Arthur thought, that there might be some truth to it. Merlin was kind and loving, and poised...maybe not poised all of the time, but at least in the times when Arthur could not be, or when Arthur needed him to be. He was the light Arthur needed to keep from the darkness, and he could remember his Father saying these same things about his Mother.

At these thoughts, some sort of half sob, laugh thing came out of Arthur like the croak of a toad and Merlin didn't react to it, he only gaze at him, brushing Arthur's cheeks with his fingers, as if he could take his tears away just by simply willing them away. Arthur wanted to tell him right then, that he loved him, that he couldn't live without him and he never wanted to try. But it was Merlin who spoke first.

"Arthur," he said, and his voice was steady and not at all unsure, as his fingers slip from Arthur's cheeks, down to his shoulders. "I know how you feel about hugs, but I'm going to hug you now, because I think you need it, and don't you dare tell me you don't. I don't care what you say, Prat."

Arthur paused at these words, struck by them, because his mind had been elsewhere, well beyond hugs. Arthur could think of a small cottage, far away from Camelot, with a farm and a cow, where they could live happily together, without the pressures of a crown on Arthur's head. But of course, none of that could happen. So, in answer to this, to Merlin's words, Arthur only opened his arms. Merlin looked at him, in what must be mild shock, he had apparently thought Arthur would fight this idea of a hug. Arthur had denied Merlin hugs before, lots of times, and truthfully he never understood why. Perhaps from his touch-starved childhood, Uther was no hugger, or maybe it was stupid, masculine fear. Fear of the unknown, what would happen if they hugged?

Arthur didn't care about any of it now, as Merlin wrapped his arms around Arthur's shoulders and Arthur wrapped his arms around Merlin's middle. It seemed foolish, in fact, that they had never hugged before. They had touched, been close to each other, lived life every day next to each other, yet never hugged? Completely stupid, Arthur thought. Because it felt natural, like they had hugged millions of times before, and Arthur never wanted to be foolish enough again, where he didn't wrap himself in Merlin's embrace at every possible chance he got. Merlin was warm and soft, but strong all at the same time. He allowed Arthur to plant his face into the crook of his neck, between his chin and neckerchief, and stay there, all while he drew shapes into Arthur's shoulder blades and ran his hands soothingly down Arthur's spine.

They said nothing, and they needed not to say anything, as they never did. It was as if they were constantly in an unspoken understanding. This would happen, and they would never speak of it again. Even if Arthur grew tired of this, even if he wanted to shout the words at Merlin, like he were angry about him not cleaning his chambers again, he would not. The chambers would stay dirty and Arthur's love would stay unspoken, it was only just how they worked, it was only how they managed to get through life together. There, always on the edge, but they never, ever fell over the waterfall.

(A/N: I know this chapter is shorter than most of them, bit damn is it packed full of some good stuff. I love the ending. Actually, I love the whole thing. I liked how I changed Arthur's mother's story around a bit, I didn't want to put so much blame on Uther, he has a lot of issues already, but it so still his fault...I mean. I also didn't want Arthur to try to kill Uther, because like...I don't have time for that. A heavy theme in this story for me is balancing whether or not Uther is truly the bad guy or not. You make that call, is he bad news or just a dude who loved his wife a lot and is now a raging alcoholic and kinda batshit crazy? But anyway, I love the ending, like a lot. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!)