soft day
pt. 5: a surprise blow

The rising sun evaporates morning dew from leaves, and the air smells like rich soil and pine needles. Sasuke treks out of the forest to the village market, freshly-picked mushrooms jostling softly in his basket. He's collected a bigger haul than normal. For the first time in a while, he feels like buying something. He's not one for material comforts, but the wear and tear of travel have taken a serious toll on his current bedding. With the amount of sleep his body needs now, it makes sense to invest in something comfortable. A soft, thick futon. If it makes no difference, he'll go back to napping against tree trunks.

The eyes of his new and preferred merchant gleam as he approaches. "What have you brought for us today, Uchiha-san?"

Sasuke lifts the basket onto the stall. There's a healthy mix of maitake and nameko mushrooms, but crowning the top of the pile are six high-grade matsutake. The merchant's eyes beeline to the rare finds.

"Beautiful." The deep lines of the old man's wrinkled face soften with appreciation instead of the greed that Sasuke finds at other market stalls. "You always find such treasures."

The praise lands hard like a surprise blow. For many years, he only ever activated the sharingan in moments of pain or duress. He never imagined using it for such a simple purpose, filling the stored memory of his doujutsu with images of wild mushrooms and sansai quietly peeking up from the forest floor.

"It's a good season, this year," Sasuke mumbles, standing to the side as inspection and weighing begins.

"My family runs an onsen in the forest, north of the main road. I long to send your picks over to them, if only you came by more than once a week!"

"Hn. I'll remember that…" Sasuke leaves a pause for the merchant to provide his name.

"Noguchi," the old man replies. "If you're interested in more work, the onsen will take whatever mushrooms and wild greens you come across. It's a beautiful spot—you should visit if you ever have the chance."

A voice interrupts Noguchi's attempts at a budding business deal. "Sasuke-kun!"

Sakura waves a hand at him from a couple stalls away, where the tempting scent of fried pork belly in-progress drifts through the air.

"I'll be back," Sasuke tells the merchant.

Sakura smiles as he approaches, white medic's coat tied in a messy knot around her waist.

"Sakura," he greets. "Isn't it early for lunch?"

"It's my dinner, actually," she says, sheepish. "I've been at the hospital all night."

"Does that happen often—?"

"Haruno-san?" The vendor, a civilian boy, interrupts, passing a huge paper bag into Sakura's hands. "We threw in some extras," he says, eyes fixed on her face. "Just for you."

"That's very sweet, Kei-kun!" Sakura smiles politely. "You really shouldn't have."

"I insist. It's the least I—we—can do for you, Haruno-san, after everything you did for otou-san."

"And how is your father doing?"

"He's walking again like normal. His leg hasn't bothered him once since you saw him."

"I'm so happy to hear that. Please tell him I said hello!" Sakura's smile warms, and Sasuke silently watches the boy's face slacken as if his knees are going weak behind the counter. He seems so young and naive, despite looking around their age. Does he know how thinly-concealed his thoughts are?

Sakura turns to Sasuke with a slight furrow between her brows, grasping the bulging take-out bag in two hands, and asks in a lower voice, "Can you hold this for me?"

"Aa," he mutters, bracing the bulky weight against his side while Sakura roots around for her wallet. The boy's eyes flicker to Sasuke for the first time and go stony. Sasuke returns a neutral expression.

Sakura holds out a handful of coins. Ears going red, weak-knees announces, "Your money's no good here, Haruno-san!"

"Then please let me leave a tip." She places the money firmly on the counter and lowers her head with respect. "Thank you so much again. I always enjoy eating your family's food, especially after a long shift."

Sakura waves to the woman in the back running the grill and turns away to retrieve the bag from Sasuke, still wearing the vestiges of a polite, close-lipped smile. He's seen her face wrought with anger, joy, frustration, pain, but this expression of mild, distant friendliness is new to him. She's simply never looked at him in this way.

"Are you busy right now?" A smile jumps to her face as she hefts up the paper bag. "I could use your help eating all of this."

"I would," he says, "though I'm in the middle of something. Don't wait if you're hungry."

They're still in earshot of the food stall. Coins clatter as the money till shuts with a loud, frustrated clang. What's-his-name must be hurt learning that he's not entitled to all of a certain medic's attention. How annoying. Sasuke tunes out the noise.

Sakura settles the bag in the crook of her arm. "I'll wait!"

"If you want." Sasuke allows himself a small smile.

Eyes burn into his back. In a flare of annoyance and impatience, Sasuke focuses harder on Sakura's face. She must be tired after working all night. Long pink hair is escaping her ponytail, and her undereyes are bruised purple from lack of sleep. A long, stray eyelash clings to the curve of her cheekbone. He brushes his fingers over her cheek.

Green eyes widen at the touch.

"Eyelash," he explains, a buzz spreading through his fingers.

"Oh…" Her lips part open with a twitch. "Thanks."

Sasuke tilts his head towards the merchant Noguchi's stall. "I'm over this way."

Sakura falls into step beside him as they weave their way over. "What are you up to?"

"Selling mushrooms."

Sakura blinks. "Huh?"

"I do some foraging." Sasuke shrugs. "Mushrooms, mostly. Some vegetables, herbs."

"I didn't know that." She smiles. "I studied medicinal herbs in Sand, though a lot of them don't taste very good. How did you learn?"

"An old woman in Tea country taught me." He hesitates. "I'm good at it."

"Let me guess." Sakura meets him dead in the eyes. "Natural talent?"

He quirks an eyebrow. "Something like that."

Noguchi calls out, metal tinkling as he moves his scale under the counter. "Uchiha-san, I hope you are ready to part with these impressive finds." He flips through a stack of bills. "Here is my offer."

Sakura glances at the piles of sorted mushrooms, the money in the merchant's waiting hand, and back at Sasuke with bewilderment. Sasuke taps the smooth cap of a matsutake. "These are rare," he says, answering her unspoken question. "The matsutake. They're a delicacy, hard to find—usually hidden near pine trees."

"Though they don't seem to hide from you," Noguchi adds fondly. Sasuke can't tell if the man is familiar with the sharingan, exudes plain faith in Sasuke's work, or really wants to secure a matsutake supplier for the onsen's kitchen.

Sakura responds with a good-natured smile. "Sasuke-kun has always been quite observant."

The merchant beams at her. "How good to see you, Sakura-san!"

"You as well! How is the knee treating you these days?"

"It hasn't given me any trouble at all. Ever since I left your office, I've felt about ten years younger."

Does she know everyone? Sasuke sighs to himself, unsure why he's surprised.

Sakura and the merchant dive into a pleasant conversation about the weather and the roses in Noguchi's garden and her suggestions on how to build knee-stability with gentle exercise. Sasuke scans the pile of foraged goods, searching with a scrutinous eye, and finally selects one matsutake in particular. "Here," he says, passing it to Sakura.

"For me?" She looks thrilled, like he's handed her a hunk of gold. In a way, he has. "Will you show me the best way to eat it?"

"I will," he promises, then looks at the merchant. "The rest are yours."

Noguchi eyes Sasuke with some reluctance. Though Sakura wouldn't know, Sasuke's reserved the very best of his finds for her—but of course the old merchant has noticed. He's losing on a big profit. Sasuke feels his palm go clammy, wondering if Noguchi is going to give him away.

With a sigh, the old man discreetly skims a short, sizable stack of bills off Sasuke's pile of earnings, and holds it out with a look of knowing. "Think some more about the onsen. Until next time."

Mouth clamped shut, Sasuke accepts.

They settle in a shady square beside the market, quiet and tucked away from the growing morning crowds. Sasuke feels his stomach growl as Sakura unpacks endless packaged treasures of pork belly, pickled radish, cucumber salad, and hot, steaming rice.

"I don't know what they were thinking. They gave me enough food for three people! I'm glad you're here to help."

Sasuke snaps open his set of chopsticks with his teeth. "It smells good." He can't deny it.

Sakura must be starving, because she barely says a word after her first bite. They feast straight from the take-out containers, hands bumping and crossing paths. Every now and then, she pauses to point out the swallow hopping from branch to branch overhead, the blue hydrangeas in fresh bloom behind him. Otherwise, a companionable silence floats in the air.

Eventually, Sasuke treats himself to one last crisp bite of radish and leans back, pleasantly full. The delicate scent of dango and other sweets carries over from the market. Sakura leans her cheek into her palm, eyes flickering shut. "I want dango."

"You're not too full?"

"I can always make room for dango."

Sasuke stands, the legs of his metal folding chair crunching over pebbles.

Her eyes open. "What are you doing?"

"Getting you some," he says.

"Wait!" She pulls a coin purse out of her bag. "Take this!"

He waves a hand. "Let me."

"Oh." The purse lowers with a low jingle. "Thanks!" Her brows raise. "I should start foraging mushrooms, huh?"

Sasuke shrugs his amusement. "It pays."

He orders two sticks of hanami dango from a young girl at the stand, who openly stares at him as he waits. The Uchiha crest is stitched under his collar, broadcasting his identity in case she doesn't already know. Sasuke avoids eye contact until she pushes a sticky paper bag into his hand.

"How much?"

"It's on the house." Her face is red as if from sunstroke.

"Why? I'll pay." Sasuke sets down the dango to reach for money. Is she afraid he'll smash the stand into splinters otherwise?

The bag edges open, and he sees four sticks of dango squeezed inside. "It's free," she says, "for you."

…Ah. So she's not concerned about his crest.

A frayed gaze catches his for a bare instant before she tears away.

Sasuke leaves a bill on the counter and aims his grimace into the cobblestones on his way back. He hopes Sakura is still hungry.

"Here." He drops the bag in her hands and is rewarded with a tiny, happy yelp.

The excited crinkling of paper stops short. "This is really so nice, Sasuke-kun, but how's one person supposed to eat four sticks of dango?"

He slouches into his chair. "I didn't ask for four."

"What do you mean?"

Sasuke's hackles rise—he's skittered in a dangerous direction. He responds with a shake of the head.

Sakura frowns, breathes in slowly, then twists her neck to peer directly at the dango stand.

"I see." She nods once, concealing a smile. "I think I know." Sasuke produces a vague, disinterested grunt, but Sakura ignores him. Her voice is breezy with a tease. "I see it happen to Ino all the time. You know what we call it?"

"Your dango's going cold."

Sakura takes a bite. "Pretty privilege."

A hot, fiery heat singes the tips of Sasuke's ears, hidden mercifully under his hair. "I don't know what you're talking about." One arm crosses over his chest. "I just scared her."

"Oh, she was scared," a sticky wand waves past the tip of his nose, "but not in the way you think."

Sasuke's vision blurs as his thoughts begin to whir. Through some not-so-indirect subtext, Sakura's also calling him…a word he wouldn't use to describe himself. Though he isn't certain what word he prefers. Sure, he notices the looks from others that are different from fear or coldness. Instead, these looks glue onto his face, sometimes so arch and persistent that he'll wonder with a curl of irritation if there's something stuck to his cheek. And occasionally he'll wind up with two extra sticks of dango.

He's the last survivor of his clan, the enemy, the village traitor, the one-armed shinobi, the strange man with red and purple eyes. He'll always draw looks. He doesn't think anything of it, nor does it bother him.

What's fascinating is how truly little it bothers him, not in the slightest, if Sakura's the one looking. If she's saying the sight of him is not unpleasant.

"This is good!" Sakura exclaims, obliviously chewing her way down to the third dumpling.

"What about you?" Sasuke turns on her. "Did you not scare your way into free pork belly?"

A deep, bright blush erupts on Sakura's face. "That's…different."

"How?" Looking objectively at the evidence, she's the one who should be accused of this particular privilege.

"I treated Kei's father in the hospital last year. He's been very…grateful."

"'Haruno-san,'" he lilts.

Sakura's jaw drops, nose twisting with embarrassment.

Sasuke smirks. "Can I call you that?"

"No!"

"I think I like it."

"No, no, no." She tears into a second stick of dango, chewing hard. "That's so weird."

Sasuke feels a satisfied curl in the pit of his stomach. He waves at the dessert. "How is it?"

"Very good." She sniffs. "Want some?"

"Not really."

"That's the Sasuke I know." Her eyes gleam like she's never been prouder to know someone who hates dessert. A bare stick of dango settles carefully inside the shell of a take-out container, one last bite clinging on. "I should head home now, before I collapse. Thanks again. For this, and the mushroom."

"Eat it raw, sliced thinly, with salt," he says. "Or steam it in a pot of rice with dashi."

The corners of Sakura's mouth fall slightly. "You said you'd show me."

She really wants that? Sasuke's brows want to jerk up, but he fights to keep an even expression. "When?"

"Next week?"

Sasuke draws in a breath. "It's best fresh."

"Tomorrow, then?" Sakura asks. "Noon?"

Kakashi is asking to meet with him around then, but Sasuke doesn't think he'll be going anyway. "Sure."

"Great!" The sun's getting hotter, and Sakura sheds the doctor's coat tied around her waist. "Are you heading home now?"

"Not yet." He needs a new futon and perhaps a long, long walk around the perimeter of the village to clear his head.

"Then I'll see you tomorrow." She tucks the bag of sweets away with a smile. "I'll finish this after my shift tomorrow, but the rest is yours."

Sakura leaves him in the dappled shade with leftovers enough for two more meals and one abandoned bite of hanami dango.

Sasuke lifts the thin stick, slides the last morsel onto his tongue, possessed by some unknown, toiling energy. He chews slowly, mouth watering, swallows. An experiment, testing his tolerance for sweet things, an urge to taste something warm and soft, something that once touched Sakura's mouth…

A jitter runs through Sasuke's veins, and he snaps out of it, his stomach twisting from the sugar.

.

.

Sasuke faces the outside of Sakura's door, a basket of freshly foraged greens hanging from his elbow.

It was slow going in the forest this morning. In the shadows before dawn, the trees swallowing the iconic ridges of Hokage mountain, he felt sucked back in time to his journey. It was almost the same, the worn weight of his cloak on his shoulders, the solitude, the diligent searching through the forest for something to eat.

Only a few small details marked the passage of time. His hair is longer, now—he needs a trim. His chest does not pang anymore, when Sakura's face crosses his mind. Any time he wants to see her, he can walk down the hall and to the left.

As Sasuke lifts his hand to knock, he notices dirt under his fingernails. The door regrettably swings open before he can do anything about it.

"You're here!"

Sakura's dressed for summer in a thin green dress that floats to her knees. It shouldn't catch him off guard, but it does. He's accustomed to her shinobi gear, her white medic's coat, even that pink bathrobe. Not sundresses that dip down to expose her collarbones and match the color of her eyes.

He feels a short vicious flood of gratitude that they won't be going anywhere near the market today.

"Hey," he says.

Sakura's cheeks glow the faintest shade of pink. From the summer heat? "Come in! Here—I'll take that." She frees the basket from his arm. "What's all this?"

"Mostly shungiku, some nanohana," he says, stepping inside. "I picked them this morning."

"Oh, really? I thought it's too late in the season for sansai! Were they hard to find?"

She's right—spring vegetables should be near impossible to find now that summer is taking hold in Fire country. Sasuke shrugs, toeing off his sandals. "I know where to look."

Sakura aims a wry grin his way. "Of course you do."

He follows her to the kitchen with a faint smile. The windows are open, letting in a warm breeze. The herbs on the sill are looking a little brighter than his last visit.

She sets the basket beside the sink. "Should I start washing these?"

"No, I'll do it. You can slice the mushroom."

"Sure." Sakura kneels before a low cabinet and pulls out a cutting board. "Thin slices, right?"

"Aa." He holds a handful of leafy greens under cold water.

Sakura rises, and the hem of her dress ghosts along Sasuke's bare ankle. His toes curl against the hardwood.

It strikes him that the two of them are alone.

It's nothing particularly new. And yet the thought wedges between his ribs like a pebble under a tree root. Not painful, but a small bundle he's aware of every time he breathes.

"I'm a little nervous," Sakura says.

Sasuke turns with a frown. "Why?"

"I've never worked with such an expensive ingredient." The matsutake waits patiently below her knife. "What if I ruin it?"

"Don't think about it like that." Sasuke twists off the faucet, shaking water from the delicate leaves. "I can always bring you another."

"Still! Don't people write poems about these things?" Sakura glances over her shoulder. "Maybe you should do it."

"I think the surgeon with two arms should handle the precise knife work."

"I'm sure you'd be fine. You're perfect at everything you do," Sakura jabs with a light smile.

Sasuke picks up the rare, expensive, highly-lauded mushroom, turns it in his hand, and tears off a piece.

Sakura's mouth drops. "What are you doing!"

Sasuke smirks. "Some people say tearing is better." Bracing fingers against the wood, he snaps a chunk off the stem. "That the steel from knives ruins the flavor."

"Does it now?" she says weakly, but when Sasuke holds out the mushroom, her fingers lift automatically to help tear off the next piece, and the next, until soon the mushroom lays in cheerful tatters across the cutting board.

The prized aroma of the matsutake fills the air, a warm spiced scent like cinnamon blending with the crispness of pine. They serve it up steamed gently over rice with a side of simmered greens.

Sasuke remembers the brief time he spent in a small village in Tea country, stumbling across a gray-haired old woman washing a basket of fresh greens in the waters of a cold stream. She met Sasuke's eyes and ordered him to assist, as if she knew he'd spent the past week fighting alone through a fog in his brain, thicker than the clouds overhead. So he bent to help, listening as she recited the names and hiding places of bamboo shoots, mustard greens, and ostrich fern; the prized pine mushroom she insisted he set aside because washing it would rinse away all the flavor.

The village was nothing special: three rows of thatched-roofed homes at the base of a sleepy, snowy mountain. Yet Sasuke stayed. He took the old woman's basket into the forest each day, easily uncovering the wild plants and mushrooms that had taken her a lifetime of study to find and identify. And each day, she taught him more.

Within a week, the fresh, shy green of springtime was creeping over the mountain, and the elder woman declared she had nothing more to teach him.

Sasuke set out again. Sunnier days found him, from then on.

These days he's feeling better.

"What do you think?" Sasuke asks as Sakura takes a first bite.

As she ponders, he finds himself holding his breath. For some reason, what she thinks of this small, inconsequential gift matters dearly to him. He is so unversed, in the art of giving.

Sakura lowers her spoon. "I think I understand the poems."

Sasuke doesn't know what the poems say—he hasn't read them—but with this answer he can breathe again. A light, growing feeling, like a hiccup, bubbles in his stomach. Shoulders trembling, it spills out of him.

Sakura's eyes are wide and careful, like she's trying not to startle a wild animal. "Sasuke-kun?" He clutches his stomach, trying not to shake as the contagion grips his body. "Are you…laughing?"

"No." His voice feels thin and weak.

"What's so funny?" she insists.

"I don't know," he breathes. "The poems."

A giggle escapes Sakura's throat. Her eyes shoot to his, as if to ask for forgiveness for a horrible transgression, and this is what breaks him. Sasuke gives in and laughs.

Sakura's shoulders tremble, then she throws her head back as the contagion catches her too.

He never makes it to Kakashi's office that day.

.

.

Summer picks up in Fire country, the air swelling with humidity and the streets blazing with heat, and cools all at once as the beginnings of monsoon season glide over from the south. Tunnels of blue hydrangea bloom all over the village, bracing eagerly for rain.

Sasuke comes home on a drizzly day to a slip of yellow paper on his door. His rent is increasing. The new number is triple that of his current rate.

Maybe if the funds of the Uchiha estate were still at his disposal, it might be possible to scrape by, though not for long. Not that he would ever agree to pay, even if he could afford it.

He has twenty-four hours to make the payment or face eviction.

Sasuke doesn't hesitate at all as he knocks on Sakura's door.

"Let me stay?" he says.

Sakura takes his bag—packed light with necessities for the road—and lets him in.

.

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Notes:

it's sort of been a rough week, so here's an early update! (i don't have a super strict update schedule, but you can expect new chapters to arrive every 2 weeks or so.)

i had so much fun writing this chapter - i wrote most of it in one sitting, which rarely happens to me lol. i hope you enjoyed and sorry about that cliffhanger :')

your thoughts and comments are always so appreciated! thank you so much for reading!