Newly Revised
Daryl didn't let Ani leave the bed for the rest of the day except for when she had to use the bathroom and when he drew her a bath when her body wouldn't stop shaking after waking up from a nightmare. He hadn't meant to go in with her, but she had refused to let go of him and he couldn't bring himself to deny her comfort. He refused to let anyone into the room other than Merle and Sophia, too, not wanting anyone else to see her in such a vulnerable state. She hadn't even started to recover, curling into Daryl when his brother was in the room and refusing to even look him in the eye. When Carol had brought food up later, he hadn't even let her come in the room, telling Merle to grab the tray from her outside and have her leave before Daryl opened the door and took it from him. Merle continued his watch outside eating his own meal with Sophia talking to him quietly outside the door; Ani barely was able to take two bites before she threw it right back up. Sophia was the only person other than Daryl that she could even tolerate letting close to her without flinching and starting to panic. He could hear the others coming up to talk to his brother about how they were doing in the room, learning of what happened after they'd left while holding onto Ani as she drifted in and out of consciousness. It was all he could do not to tell Merle to pack up their shit and grab Sophia so they could high-tail it out of Alexandria and find a cabin in the woods like he'd promised her they'd do if they didn't like it here. As it was, Daryl didn't care if the others didn't like it, he didn't care if she would never be able to leave his side anymore; all he cared about was making sure she felt safe again.
This was supposed to be where they could make a home, try for a family and settle down, and instead it had turned into a new nightmare for his wife. She couldn't even have him out of her sight at the moment without having his poncho over top of her, and she still would look scared to death and latch onto him when he came back. The first and only time he'd gone out to have a smoke, not wanting to smoke in the house with the kids, he'd left Merle in the room with her only to come back and find his wife had locked herself in the bathroom. They'd had to break it open when they heard her hyperventilating and her wound was slightly bleeding again at how hard her hands had been pressed into the side of her head. Daryl had been smoking at the open window ever since, not wanting to leave Ani alone while she was dealing with it all after that. She had clung to Daryl while Sophia redressed the wound and he double checked the stitches, Merle fixing the bathroom door in the process. That had been the most people in the room the entire day, the others asking if they were alright before being told to move along by his brother. He felt bad for asking Merle to stand guard at the door, but none of the others needed to see Ani like this, so weak and vulnerable, unable to form words or even calm down. Hell, he'd never seen his wife like this before but he couldn't say that he could blame her when everything had gone tails up in a matter of seconds.
The kittens had stayed in the room, too, amusing Daryl with how they acted so differently towards Ani and those who came in the room. Catty had been by Ani's side, across her lap, or in her arms almost the entire time if Daryl wasn't there, then she curled up between their legs, with Bobby laying at her feet, hissing at Merle after she'd locked herself in the bathroom. They copped up a fuss, too, every time Daryl sent them with his brother to go outside to use the bathroom; just because Ani was laid up didn't mean the damn things weren't going to be trained. He kept using the string and homemade mouse to get Bobby to play chase, Ani smiling small when she saw the two interacting. Every time Ani fell asleep, Catty would sprawl across her side or stomach while napping herself and Bobby would lay next to her legs with her eyes on the door. When they found out they were both girls, Daryl breathed a sigh of relief because at least they wouldn't have to deal with a group of interbred bobcats running around. Ani had asked why that was a bad thing only to be told about the deformities and behavioral issues the longer interbreeding went on; he'd seen it with some hunting dogs Merle's friends had.
When she fell asleep after night fell, he walked just outside the door to talk to Merle about what they were going to do if she couldn't recover. They were both scared about whether or not she would be able to return to the woman they loved and knew and the strength she had always exhibited. It was disconcerting to both men how weak she seemed right now, neither of them knowing what to do if she freaked out again like she had earlier. It had taken ten minutes to get that damn door knocked down and both of them had been scared to death hearing her crying and having problems getting a proper breath. They both were considering hunting down the bastards that had put her in the state she was in and bringing their heads back on a silver platter so she knew she would never have to see them again. If it weren't for the fact that neither of them wanted to leave the woman alone, they already would have left on a hunting trip. Daryl didn't stay out of the room for very long, mostly him and Merle venting their anger at the situation to each other and talking shit about what they wished they could do to the assholes that hurt Daryl's wife.
Ani woke up a few times during the night, the last time starting awake only to nuzzle further into Daryl's chest and hold him a little tighter. She had obviously been trying not to wake him up and Daryl couldn't help but be happy that she was able to get back to sleep relatively quickly. The first time, she had woken up with a cry of distress and had broken down into tears as he held her and assured her he would keep her safe. They had gotten better as the night went on, though when he wasn't in bed when she woke up in the morning, she immediately started to panic again. Once she knew where he was, however, she was able to calm down easily enough and had stopped needing him right beside her when Merle was in the room. She started crying out of no where around noon and Daryl didn't know what to do because she was waving her hands around making different gestures and he didn't know what she meant. Eventually, he managed to understand she wanted something to write with, only then finding out that she couldn't talk; she couldn't vocalize anything because it was her fault. He damn near ripped the pad of paper out of her hands when she wrote that again and all but went on a tirade about how not a damn thing that had happened was her fault. It wasn't her fault for talking, not her fault for what happened to Chrystal, hell, it wasn't even her fault she'd been born. The only thing she could be blamed for was constantly thinking she was the one in the wrong when there wasn't a damn thing she'd done to even deserve so much as a raised voice.
Daryl kept her in the room all that day, letting her move around by herself a little bit and take another bath on her own. He was able to leave the room to get food and go outside for a smoke without her having a panic attack, though the one and only time she tried to follow him, she did start panicking. She just gestured for him to go and she'd be waiting for him to get back, which she had been, in the middle of trying to change on her own. Her body was a patchwork of bruises as he walked in, her back and shoulders discolored from the wall while the only place that wasn't bruised was her stomach. Daryl hadn't been able to stop the feelings of rage when he walked in and saw all the bruises all over again before he walked over to her and grabbed the shirt off. She hissed at the pull of the garment off of her, causing him to cuss and ask if she was okay, thoroughly happy when she whispered 'love you' before giving him a small kiss. He had been caught off guard but the soft smile he gave her when she pulled back had her own small smile gracing her lips, the two holding each other for a moment before he helped her into a clean shirt.
The pair of hunters were able to join the rest of the group for dinner in the evening even though Ani was unable to verbally answer any questions posed. A lot of the group worried about it for a little bit to the point that she started getting self-conscious and hiding behind Daryl. Merle had told them all to back off and let her have her breathing space, the entire meal turning back into the gathering of intel it had become since everyone had been given jobs. Ani sat and listened to everyone as they talked about what they had been doing in the almost two days since she'd been attacked, a lot of the group basically only meeting with the people they were supposed to be working with. Rick and Michonne had been made 'constables' to the town, essentially taking up jobs as the towns' law-keepers. Glenn, Tara, and Noah had been learning how Aiden and Nicholas ran their trips, all three complaining about the pairs' horrible taste in music. Maggie had been working with Deanna when it came to planning where to grow crops and other necessities. Abraham and Merle had met with Tobin and some of the other members of the construction crew, the pair being put on it since they were strong men who knew what they were doing with their hands; well, Abraham's hands, Merle's hand. Ani had written that down and showed the taller redhead, who hooted and hollered like a stark raving lunatic before the others read her little note and joined in.
The night was pretty uneventful until they got back up to the room, Daryl laying down with Ani and reiterating that it wasn't her fault any of it was happening. She whispered to him about everything she could, few words actually being gotten out and only a broken picture, but it was enough to tell him she was going to be okay. She was still unable to talk in front of the others or speak too many words out loud to him in the morning, but she was able to leave the house to sit with him on the porch while he had a cigarette. Ani didn't leave his side and had to be touching him in some capacity, but Daryl couldn't say he blamed her let alone that he wasn't fine with it. The entire side of her face had turned into a gruesome picture between the bruising and the scabbing and it didn't help when it started showing mild signs of infection. Sophia had dragged Merle out into the woods to find the things she needed while Ani had Daryl help her clean the wound. She couldn't take a shower, yet, but she also couldn't raise her left arm high enough to take care of it herself and it was too awkward to do with her right when there was a perfectly capable set of hands that could help her. He'd ended up joining her in the bath after her little joke and just held her until the water went cold, gingerly kissing her temple as she sighed against him.
Ani had to admit, by the third day, that she had never felt so safe and loved, nor that she had ever been on the receiving end of such care and affection. She was feeling so comfortable that she was able to actually talk to him properly and kissed him for all it was worth when she got sick of him apologizing. He had apologized over and over again for not getting to her sooner, something he was worried she would blame him for only for her to tell him to shut up. She was the one who needed to apologize because she had forgotten that he was there, hadn't even tried calling for help, had simply allowed herself to be beaten like that. He smacked her ass hard when she'd apologized like that and effectively shut her up and refused to let her say another word on it or he'd smack it again. And he did, several times, throughout the day for just that reason, barely letting her get two words on the subject out before he shut her up that way. They ended up outside after dinner with Rick and Carol as they talked about their next move, Ani scribbling on her paper when she had something to add to the conversation.
"She might have said that we are equal to them in all ways, but I don't buy it," Rick told them after catching Ani up to speed.
Essentially, she played us. She wants to make it seem like we are equal, thus giving you power. But it's probably because she wants to keep the two of you here, in town, where she can keep an eye on you. You're the best options because you're perceived as the most dangerous. Especially you, Rick. You literally ooze hostility at the drop of a dime. After stopping our people from attacking theirs, you showed them just what you're willing to do for them, for their people. She made it seem like that was the plan all along even though you acted on instinct.
Reading the paper, Rick looked at her with a questioning gaze before lowering his eyes and saying, "Yeah, I figured it was something like that."
"So, you're a cop again?" Daryl scoffed.
"Just tryin' it on for size," Rick answered, looking at Ani writing.
"So we're staying?" Carol asked.
"I think we can start sleeping in our own homes," Rick said, looking to Ani to see she was nodding her head in agreement. "Settle in."
"If we get comfortable here, we let our guard down—this place is gonna make us weak," Carol rebutted.
"Carl and Phia said that too. But it's not gonna happen."
"Look at what happened to Ani, and that was after one day," she tried to rebuttal, earning a glare from the woman in question.
A blind-sided attack is not a sign of weakness on my part. It's a show of cowardice on theirs. They knew I would be in shock and unable to attack and that was the only reason they got the drop on me. If it had been a fair fight, if I had known they were here in town, they would have been dead before they ever even touched me. I am not weak, Carol, anymore than we as a whole are. We are not weak. There is no weakness in us, not anymore. We're way too damn strong, to be honest. We've worked our asses off to become fighters and damn decent shots. Most of us have killed, me more than anyone else. This place won't make us weak. We'll make IT strong. And if they don't see it our way, fuck them. We'll take it and force them to see it our way. After all, she did say the Communists won out.
Ani threw the note at the woman to read out loud, Carol sighing before adding, "I suppose that could work."
"There you have it," Rick agreed. "We'll make it work. And if they can't make it...then we'll just take this place."
They spent the night upstairs in their room again, the kittens curled up between their legs as Ani tried to get used to not being able to sleep on her left. It was so difficult for her to get to sleep that she and Daryl ended up switching sides of the bed for the time being because she just couldn't get comfortable without him spooning her. He helped her change in the morning, much to her amusement, and then headed downstairs to meet up with Rick. The three of them were taking Carol out under the pretense of gun training when they really just had some stuff they needed to hammer out while they were out. They were going to be discussing how to arm themselves just in case shit hit the fan, but Rick could see what little color Ani had drain from her face as he spoke. He offered to let her stay back, that she didn't have to leave the fence yet if she wasn't comfortable, but as soon as the offer was even began, her hand clasped around Daryl's arm tightly. Even Daryl was giving Rick a dark look, which immediately made him back off; Daryl wasn't about to leave his wife unprotected again with those bastards still alive.
After what had happened, it became clear neither was willing to leave each other's side any time soon, though Rick did notice they each had one of the bracelets around their left wrists. Only Rick and Carol carried guns, though; Daryl carried his crossbow and Ani had all of her knives on, which were freshly sharpened over the last day, and her crossbow on her shoulder. As the gate opened, Ani remembered that her parents had been exiled and balked just slightly at the fact that they were still somewhere out there and would come back. The very real possibility that they were just beyond the tree line, just waiting to take their shot at any of the members of her group, made her wish they would just close the gate and leave it closed for good.
"Hey," Daryl said, bringing a hand to rest on her hip and stepping into her side when he noticed her hesitation. "It's gonna be okay. They ain't out there and they ain't in here. They're gone, or they're dead. Ain't no in between. I'll keep you safe, baby girl. I promise."
Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath she sighed out, she opened them and nodded her head, trying to feign confidence as she followed the three into the woods. Her grip on her knife was harder than normal and she didn't bother to pretend she didn't have it ready if something so much as moved within her line of sight. Daryl was more on alert as well, his eyes constantly scanning the horizon while the man kept within a few paces of his wife in a way that she would be protected. Neither Rick nor Carol could blame either of the hunters with how they were acting nor how Ani still wasn't able to talk to too many people. Anyone her mind picked up on as a threat, she was scared of at the moment, relying on Daryl's physical presence to feel at ease just being around them. Rick led them to a small shack with a ton of junk in front of it, a few walkers already having been slain in the area by some of the others from their group that volunteered for patrol. They could hear another, but it was off in the distance, the kittens already hiding in the bush and quiet at a hand signal from Ani she'd worked with them on on the road.
"I don't see it, but it's close," Daryl told them, going back over to Ani's side. "There's just one of 'em."
"We won't be here long," Rick said before looking to Carol. "So what do you think?"
"We go in when it's empty," she responded.
"How is that? It's locked up at night," Rick stated.
"The window. There's just a latch. I can leave it open," Carol said, knowing it would be that easy.
How the hell did these people survive? Ani asked, writing on her paper.
"They haven't had to know what it's like. I think you're the first they've seen of what can happen," Carol explained. "And a lot of them still don't believe it had nothing to do with you thanks to Pete."
"What's that asshole been sayin'?" Daryl asked.
"Nothing true, brother," Rick said, trying to calm the man down who was quicker to anger than ever. "We'll set it all right."
"What's he sayin'?!" Daryl growled once more.
"That she's unstable and they were defending themselves," Carol sighed. "Some of those who were there, some aren't sure what they saw, so it's being spread to cause doubt. But there are several others who are standing with our group that saw exactly what happened and how T—he attacked out of no where when her back was turned, including Deanna."
"I'm gonna fuckin' kill 'im," Daryl growled out.
Asshole ain't right in the head.
"What do you mean?" Rick asked.
Way he poked the bear, saying their names, provoking me. Guy's got a screw or two loose in a bad way. Likes making people squirm.
"Alright," Rick said with a nod. "I'll keep an eye on him. But, seriously, a latch?" he asked Carol incredulously.
"Yup," Carol said, one eyebrow raising with a half-smile on her face as she shrugged a shoulder. "Just a simple latch."
"What if one of those pricks shuts it?" Daryl asked, not wanting to have to draw this out any longer than necessary.
"Wait a couple of days, leave it open again," Carol suggested as the rustling of the walker sounded again.
"It's gettin' closer," Daryl said, walking away to check if he could see it yet.
"The sooner we get this done, the better," Rick stated. "Right now, they're not watching us. Not worrying about meetings like this. We may need the guns, we may not."
"We need the fuckin' guns, Rick!" Ani growled at him for the first time since she'd left the room, her voice finally above a whisper and almost immediately starting to panic, Daryl wrapping her under his arm as she almost broke down crying. "Don' care which way it goes, we need the fuckin' guns. I need a fuckin' gun."
"Alright, I get it. I do. I mean, seriously. They're the luckiest damn people I ever met," Rick stated while shaking his head, disbelief plainly written all over his features. "And they just keep gettin' luckier."
"How's that?" Daryl asked.
"We're here now, with a leader that actually knows what she's doin'," Rick said while sending a soft, reassuring smile to Ani.
Don't know about that right now. Right now, I just want to close the damn gates and never open them again.
"Yeah, that's what I told Deanna, too," Rick told her. "You've got this."
"They've got footlockers just full of 9 millimeter autos, Rugers, Kel-Tecs. Just tossed in there. They don't use them. They're never gonna know they're gone," Carol assured them.
"Someone's got one now, right?" Daryl said, indicating the fact that Rick had tried, and failed, at concealing a weapon in this junk heap and it was now disappeared.
"Listen, the others, we want them to try," Rick told them.
"The two of you, too," Carol added towards the hunters, Ani still curled into Daryl's side.
"So we keep it quiet," Rick continued. "Just us. Here it comes," he said with a nod in the direction of the oncoming walker.
"I got it," Daryl said, picking up his crossbow.
"Wait," Carol said, raising her gun and firing several rounds before finally killing the walker. "We said we were takin' me out shooting," she explained. "I couldn't go back with a full mag."
Smart thinking, Cars.
"Lucky he came by," Daryl agreed.
"We should get back," Rick told them before turning to Carol himself. "You'll pull the latch. We'll pick our moment. Us? We don't need to be lucky."
Daryl stopped by the walker the woman had fallen as she continued on, both him and Ani looking at it confused as Rick stopped. "What the hell is that?" he asked. "Is that a W?"
"It sure as hell isn't an 'M,'" Ani quipped, a small smile on her face as Daryl rolled his eyes.
"You guys go back," he told them. "I'm gonna take Ania and see if we can't do some huntin'."
"Alright," Rick said, noticing that Ani stepped closer to Daryl when he'd stood and grabbed her hand. "Try to be back by tonight. Don't know what's out in these woods."
Daryl led her out into the woods a little ways before stopping and pulling her into him, "You okay?"
"I'm with ya," she said quietly. "I'm alright."
He gave her a gentle kiss before they started going again, walking for about an hour before they heard the first twig snap, and then the tell tale sound of footfalls followed by another snapping twig. Ani immediately went for a tree, moving behind it and crouching low to take aim. Daryl stood in front of her hiding spot, out of her firing range, but still in a way that kept himself in the immediate line of danger. He'd be damned if he was going to let anyone hurt her again after what those assholes had put her through. Catty was cowering in the crook of her leg while Bobby was hissing in front of her; while she'd left them at the house when she and Daryl went for a walk, Bobby had become quite protective when she came back hurt. How he knew she was hurt was beyond her, but it was funny watching him hiss and swipe at Rick, Carol, and later Abraham and Sasha, for coming too close to her. The little rascal had even swiped at Merle and wouldn't let the man anywhere near her after she'd locked herself in the bathroom. She'd managed to write Merle a message of apology, but, just like Daryl, he refused to let her take blame for a reaction not even he could blame her for.
"Come out," Daryl said sternly, both of them keeping their bows trained as Ani began to shake. "Now!"
Aaron came out with his hands up, causing both Daryl and Ani to drop their bows, Ani stepping out from behind the tree, but only up to Daryl's back as the kittens followed. She couldn't help the sigh of relief that it was just him and not anyone else; Aaron still was as weak as a fly when it came to them. She had been terrified that it would be them and she would have to face the music sooner than she wanted to and either have to kill them or admit that only her own death would allow her to escape. If they killed Daryl trying to get to her, she would never forgive herself and would honestly rather die than put him in harms way like that. The problem was that she knew Daryl wouldn't be letting her out of his sight any time soon because she'd already messed up and said those thoughts out loud. She hadn't even realized she'd been saying them out loud and felt guilty about putting the added stress of her inward thoughts being made outward worries for her husband. He didn't know she'd heard him telling Merle about it and the pact they made to keep her with them at all times, Abraham coming up in the middle of it and offering to help himself. He'd been thanked for his help before Daryl came back into the room, Ani trying hard to make it seem like she had only just woken up, though the truth was that every time the door had opened she had jumped. She didn't want her husband to worry about her any more than he already was just because of her attack; she felt guilty enough about it. She knew she would have to find a way to gain his trust that she would never even try to escape like she'd been thinking right after the attack.
"You guys can tell the difference between walkers and humans by sound?" Aaron asked, both Ani and Daryl nodding. "That's impressive." he told them. "Can you tell the difference between a good guy and a bad guy? Rick doesn't seem to be an expert at that."
"There ain't much of a difference no more," Daryl told him.
"Is that how you feel about your people?" Aaron countered.
"Why you followin' us?" Daryl growled out.
"I didn't know I was," Aaron said honestly. "I came out here to hunt rabbits. I know why the two of you are out here. Mind if I join you?"
Daryl stared at him for a moment before glancing back at Ani, who shrugged; he turned around and grabbed her hand as he walked off, throwing behind him, "Keep up. And keep quiet."
They'd been walking for a while before Ani nudged Daryl's arm and pointed at something on the ground, the tell-tale hoof-print of a horse stomped into the dirt. They followed the trail until they made it to a clearing, a beautiful black mare standing in the middle of it. She was happily munching away on the long grass the field had to offer as they came to a stop just inside the tree line. Her stomach was big and Ani could tell she didn't have long to find a safe place before she needed to give birth; it reminded her of the big, fat pig they'd brought in at the prison. She'd thought the pig was just fat until it went into labor and had a bunch of piglets, even if they'd only managed to eat one of the damn things before having to use them as bait. This was a horse, though, and horses would soon be the primary means of transportation once again. Gas had a shelf life, as did oil, and ethanol could only be used as fuel in so many things considering there had only been a very limited number of vehicles made to support ethanol only consumption. Even in third world countries where gas was expensive and ethanol was used as a stand in, the cars could only tolerate a 25:75 ethanol to fuel ratio. They either needed to find as many horses as they possibly could to maintain future travel or they needed to breed as many horses as they could. They also would need horses for agricultural purposes, horses or bulls trained from infancy to plow and help sow and reap. It was much how Ani felt that they would either need to produce more bobcats like Bobby and Catty to help hunters and patrols or they needed to find and re-domesticate some dogs in order to do it. As it was, Ani made a motion to the kittens so they wouldn't spook the horse, who began climbing one of the nearby trees, making Ani smile at them with pride and Daryl scoff at how happy she was they'd learned two simple commands; hide and climb.
"I've been trying to catch him for months," Aaron informed them, making Ani look at him weirdly, wondering how he couldn't tell it was a mare with her belly so big. "Bring him inside. His name's Buttons. One of the kids saw him run by the gate a while back. Thought he looked like a buttons. I haven't seen him for a while. I was afraid it was too late," he said, grabbing his pack and producing a rope. Ani tapped Daryl on the arm, making him look at her before she pointed to the rope, looking back at Daryl and pointing him and shaking her head no, pointing at herself and nodding, as Aaron spoke up again, "Every time Eric or I come close, he gets spooked."
"Ania wants to do it," Daryl said, taking the rope from Aaron.
"Have you done this before?" he asked the woman.
"She did it with our group," Daryl answered for her, knowing she wasn't ready to talk around people she didn't know well yet. "But they weren't out there that long. The longer they're out there, the more they become what they really are. But she's got a way with 'em. Think it's 'cause they know she's different." Ani tapped Daryl again and gestured for them to go around on opposite sides while she went to the horse. "Wants us to keep an eye out for walkers while she gets the horse. Might get spooked if they come up. Might get spooked if we come up," he corrected after Ani tapped his arm and pointed at both him and Aaron.
The men waited for Ani to start her slow approach toward the horse, still eating away as she got closer, her voice calm and clear for the animal, quietly telling her, "Hey there, darlin'. We jus' want ta get ya somewhere safe. I know ya jus' ya own now, know it's been that way for a while, but ya need someplace safe. Look at ya big belly. Got a baby on the way, don' ya? I hope ta know how that feels someday soon. But ya got ta be protected, somewhere ya baby can be born. Safe for ya foal, safe ta give birth, food, shelta, wata. What'd'ya say, huh? Can I help ya? I don' know if I'm eva goin' ta be safe, but I can help keep ya and ya baby safe. Sound good, momma?"
She had just gotten the rope around the horse's neck and had begun the process of trying to gain the horse's trust to lead her away when a twig snapped and walkers began coming up more than what the guys could handle. Acting on instinct and quickly, Ani pulled the rope tight around the horse and grabbed a fistful of its mane, using it to lead the horse back the way they came from rather than bolting a random direction. Even in the horse's frightened state, it must have realized what she was doing because it followed her rather easily, although it did take off in a sprint the second a walker got a little too close, Ani hanging on for dear life. Ani ended up having to hold onto it's mane and use that to do running jumps just so she didn't fall down until they ran close enough to a tree for her to launch herself up onto the thing's back. When the mare finally calmed down and Ani could release her death grip on her mane, she managed to pull the girl to a halt. Rather than climbing down, not that she felt she could safely from so high up, she laid on the thing's neck and started humming to it while stroking it's neck. She'd never been on a horse before outside of Merry-Go-Rounds, but she had seen enough shows and documentaries to have gotten the gist of what to do to help the mare relax. Ani used that knowledge to help redirect the horse when another walker came into the area, not allowing the animal to make the offending creature into a big deal. It took a while since she had been more focused on hanging on than where they were going., but eventually she was able to make her way back to the same clearing they had originally been in. She was still riding the horse, but it had its head raised much more confidently and was not as spooked by their approach to the guys.
"Hell you been?" Daryl growled at her as he stomped over to her.
"Here and there, avoidin' walkas and calmin' Buttons down," she said in joy, momentarily forgetting Aaron's presence as she smiled down at her man.
"Okay, how?" Aaron asked.
"Ya men," Ani answered quietly after a moment, her voice barely above a whisper before she cleared it, Aaron not being anything she or Daryl couldn't handle easily enough even if she didn't know him well. "Ya men."
"I don't understand," he said.
"Buttons is gonna have a Stubbons," Ani said in the same hushed tones, as if that explained everything, since it did to her.
"It's a mare," Daryl realized, taking the rope Ani tossed at him and gently leading them all back to the wall, the woman still leaning on the beast's neck. "And she's pregnant. How the hell'd you get up there? Thing's taller than you by a head and a half."
"Grabbed 'er mane and used a tree and the speed she was goin' ta launch up on 'er. And I didn' want ta get down and have 'er spook again or break a leg or somethin'."
"You ride horses regularly?" Aaron asked.
"I ride bikes," Daryl clarified, happy that her she was speaking in more than a whisper again and slowly becoming occupied with something other than what had happened at the gate. "She rides with me."
"I take it you don't mean 10-speeds," Aaron chuckled. "I know you feel like outsiders. It's not your faults, you know. Eric and I, we're still looked at as outsiders in a lot of ways. We've heard our fair share of well meaning, but hilariously offensive, things from some otherwise very nice men and women, though the..."
"Don't," Daryl warned, checking Ani to see she didn't understand why he'd stopped Aaron, seeing the man look up at his wife and opening his mouth and assuming who he was going to talk about. "Just don't."
Aaron looked at Daryl before his eyes only flitted towards Ani before he shook his head, "Right. Um, well, people are people. The more afraid they get, the more stupid they get," he told them, continuing what he had meant to say, but leaving out the bit about the Parkers. "Fear shrinks the brain. They're afraid of the three of us for different reasons. They're less scared of me because they know me. It gets less and less every day. So, let them get to know you," he told them. "You should go to Deanna's party tonight."
"So they can look at me like a freak or in pity? Nah, thanks, though," Ani spat at him, though still bent down.
"I got nothin' to prove," Daryl said in agreement as the gate came into view. "I've met a lot of bad people out here doin' a lot of bad shit. They weren't afraid of nothin'."
"Yeah, they were," Aaron denied as they walked through the gates, the woman manning the gate congratulating them on their success.
~x~
After helping Ani get off the horse, Daryl left it with Aaron and the other woman and took her back to the house. After a taking a quick shower by himself while she cleaned her wound, he left Ani to take one herself to walk out on the porch for a smoke. The sun was setting low in the horizon as he smoked his cigarette, thinking about what Aaron had said and how he thought they just needed to get to know the people in town to fit in. He'd put decent enough clothes on, his vest over a black button up shirt he'd left open at the collar and a clean, fresh pair of loose fitting black jeans, but he felt completely out of place. When Ani came out a short while later, wearing something similar to him, her t-shirt traded for a dark green, silk blouse with dark blue skinny jeans, her vest and boots completing the ensemble even with the gruesome wound on her head. She looked absolutely stunning standing there in the fading light of day, hair still damp and flat on her head before it would dry out and puff out, reminding him very much of the horse's mane from earlier.
"What?" she asked as he stared at her, extremely self-conscious as she turned her head to the left and looked down.
"Don't," he said, going to her and lifting her face to look her in the eye. "You're fuckin' gorgeous and this?" he said, gingerly touching the side of her head, "You look even more gorgeous to me."
"Shut it," she said, blushing and slightly pushing him away, only for him to hold onto her and pull her into him, giving her a sweet lingering kiss.
"Ready to go?" he asked her, pulling back and leaning his chin on her head as the darkness of night settled in while her arms wrapped around him.
"I guess," she agreed after a moment, making their way to the mayor's house.
Getting there, though, upon hearing everyone inside and seeing the shadows, all they could do was stand next to a tree. Daryl pulled Ani back against his chest, feeling how she was starting to shake, though as she wrapped her arms around his, he couldn't tell if it was nerves or the cold. It wasn't overly chilly out, but Ani had lost a lot of blood less than a week ago and even with a transfusion, her anemia had to have been acting up by then. He'd barely done any hunting, so the livers and brains he normally made her choke down hadn't been getting into her. Not even eating the damn things a few times a week had kept her from getting cold or bruising easily; she had to be cold wearing nothing but a thin shirt on her top. Ani held tightly onto Daryl's arms as she thought about what it would mean to go into a house like that, the last time she had been at a house and party like this springing into her mind. Her parents had been celebrating her sister's latest fourth place trophy at her violin competition, Ani's own singing competition having been forgotten about by her own parents. They'd thrown the party for Chrystal only for several of those who had attended both competitions sang Ani's praises for getting second place herself. Ani still had to hand it to the first place winner; the song from Fifth Element was supposedly impossible to sing and yet that's what the first place winner had sung. Even though she knew she wouldn't be beaten black and blue a second time by her family within Alexandria, she still couldn't help how badly the memories got to her as she turned in Daryl's arms.
"I can'."
"Yeah," he said, pulling her to his side and keeping his arm securely around her shoulder.
Neither of them could enter that house; they didn't belong there anymore than they belonged in this neighborhood or the house they'd found themselves living in. They were the freaks of society, on opposite ends, even before the times had gone to hell. Daryl had been an outcast all his life for being abused and the behaviors he had learned to exhibit to cope while Ani had been ostracized for her mind, accomplishments, and age. Knowing that Pete would be there had made Ani freeze in her tracks all the more while Daryl had never once been to a gathering like that and just couldn't bring himself to go in there and be uncomfortable. The added worry over Ani being targeted or pitied because of her parents just added to the reason he simply took her away from that place without a second's thought. She let him lead her back to their house, her hand entwined with the hand on her shoulder while she held him with her other arm around the middle. It was good enough just having somewhere she could lay around relaxing with Daryl without having to worry about walkers or being walked in on. She didn't need to socialize with others who would make their opinions based on the farce of a life they knew within the walls of Alexandria. All she needed was her husband, her kid, her brother, and the kittens and Ani would be as happy and in as much company as she ever needed to be.
As they passed by one of the houses, a light went on, making them slow their pace as Aaron came out and said, "Daryl, Ani, hey."
"Thought you were going to that party over there?" Daryl asked, Ani's startle at the light suddenly going on not going unnoticed.
"Oh, no, I was never going to go," Aaron told them. "Eric's ankle, thank God."
"Then why the hell you tell us to go?"
"I said try. You did," Aaron replied. "It's a thought that counts thing."
"Alright," he said, turning them to walk away.
"Hey, why don't you both come in? Have some dinner?" he suggested. "Come on, it's some pretty serious spaghetti."
"S'gheddi?" Ani asked, suddenly perking up, her voice towards him louder than it had been in the day as she looked at him, a grin spreading on her face.
"Yeah. I might say it's the best, but then, it is the apocalypse," he told her.
Ani didn't let Daryl decide, dragging him up the steps and into the house, "I love spagheddi. Favorite meal a all."
"Yeah, I know, you're birthday you wouldn't shut up about it and how you made it every year," Daryl gruffed out, though following her inside anyways because, to be honest, he was pretty hungry too.
"May I ask," Eric started after they all got sat around the table, seeing how Ani didn't have a bandage, but a leaf taped to her head.
"Woolly lamb's ear," she stated, the peaceful and friendly nature of the man spreading a small smile on her face and allowing her to speak quietly. "Speeds up the recovary a cuts. Got some otha herbs unda it ta help with the pain and swellin' and infection."
"You know all that?" Eric asked.
"My papa was a genuine apothecary. Could grow ya a mighty fine medical herb garden 'ere in town," she suggested as Daryl dropped a huge pile of spaghetti onto her plate. "Jesus, D! Ya think I'm a pig?"
"Think you should shut your mouth and eat," he told her with a smile. "Said it was your favorite."
Ani just chuckled, looking up at the confused expression the others gave them over the interaction, "Sometimes my head says I want somethin' but my body is quick ta reject it. He's jus' meanin' for me ta eat 'fore my body changes its mind that it wants a propa meal."
"I can't imagine what that is like," Eric said honestly.
"Sure ya can," she responded with a shrug. "Eva go for one last bite a that pumpkin pie on Turkey Day ta find ya 'bout ta puke if ya swallow it?"
"Actually, I've done that several times," Aaron laughed as they all began to eat.
"Same thing, jus' without the full ta burstin' tummy."
She was sitting at the head of the table with Aaron and Daryl on either side of her, Eric on the other side of Daryl with his broken ankle propped up on the seat next to Aaron. It was silent for the most part, aside from mostly Daryl's sloppy eating. Ani had to admit, she didn't have the best table manners anymore, either, her elbows propped on the table as she twirled the noodles around her fork and took giant bites. But at least she wasn't shoveling it in her mouth like Daryl, slurping down whatever noodles he couldn't get in via shovel. Even how he drank the wine was hilarious to her; the normally sipped beverage being gulped and swished around his mouth like mouthwash rather than an aged alcoholic beverage. Ani couldn't help the smile that spread across her lips nor the warmth of her gaze towards the man she called hers, completely missing the looks Aaron and Eric were giving them with knowing smiles of their own. They had seen a lot of couples come and go, a lot of them that would kill for each other and do anything to protect the other, but it was rare to see such blatant love shining through someone's eyes at just the most basic of things. Considering what they had gone through only days ago, though, neither man could blame the pair of hunters for their actions towards the other.
"Thanks," Daryl said as he finished off his plate, noticing that Ani had finished most of hers, but was just staring at him with that look that made his neck flush. "What?"
"Love ya," was his response, making him blush even harder and tell her to stop.
"Mmm," Eric said as he wiped his mouth, turning to Daryl. "When you're out there, if you happen to be in a store or something. Mrs. Neudermyer is really looking for a pasta maker."
"What for? Ya don' need a pasta maka ta make pasta. If ya got the ingredients, ya can make it with ya own two hands. That's how it used ta be done," Ani pointed out.
"Well, we're all just trying to get her to shut up about it," Eric admitted, even though Ani was still confused as to why he had brought it up. "I mean, we have crates of dried pasta in here, but she wants to make her own or something. I really think she just wants something to talk about, so...if you see one, out on your travels...it would go a long way to..." Eric must have finally realized they had no idea what he was talking about as he looked up at their confused expressions and Aaron's pointed look. "I thought it was done. You didn't ask them already?"
"Ask us what?" Daryl asked.
Aaron led them to a door off the side of the kitchen and out into a garage that was chalk full of various automotive parts, telling them, "When I got the place, they had the frames and some parts and equipment. Whoever lived here built them, bikes and 4-wheelers. There used to be a finished ATV, but it was lost on a run closer to the beginning."
"It's a lot of parts for one of each," Daryl commented.
Aaron scoffed a chuckle before explaining, "Whenever I came across any parts out there, I brought them back. I didn't know what I'd need. I always thought I'd learn how to do it, but I get the feeling you already know what to do with them. And the thing is, you're going to need them."
"Why?" Daryl asked as he looked around.
"I told Deanna not to give you jobs, because I think I have one for the two of you. I'd like you to join me as Alexandria's recruiters. I don't want Eric risking his life out there anymore, not when he's untrained, like you said Ani."
"You want us riskin' ours, though?" Daryl surmised as Ani walked over to the frame of the 4-wheeler, taking the tarp off of it and revealing a gutted engine.
"Yeah, because you know what you're doing," he countered. "You're both good out there, but neither of you belong out there. I know it's hard getting used to people getting used to you. And I understand right now you both need to be out there sometimes. So do I. But the main reason I want you to help me recruit is because you both do know the difference between a good person and a bad person."
Daryl uncovered the bike frame and thought about the request, looking over to Ani who just shrugged her shoulders, chewing his lip he nodded his head, "Well, we got nothin' else to do. Thanks."
"Yeah," Aaron said.
"We'll, uh, get you some rabbits," Daryl told Aaron before pulling Ani through the house and back home.
"Think they got the guns yet?" Ani asked him when they were past the next house.
"Dunno. Think we really need 'em?"
"Don' know. I want one, but for one reason and one reason only," she said, making him pull her into his side and wrap his arm around her shoulder before kissing her temple.
Hers came up around his waist as her head rested on his shoulder as she sighed, still unable to get enough of feeling him wrapped around her like that. They walked in silence, watching Bobby and Catty bound down the street, Merle and Sophia sitting on the steps of the porch. Sophia ran up to them and hugged them before going into a rant about how the other kids were interesting to say the least. A few of the others were beginning to return, too, several talking about the party at the 'mayor's' house. They were given a few weird looks as to where they'd gone, but no one asked them any questions considering they were at least out and about. Most of the others had just come to accept that the hunters weren't going to be as up close and personal with the group for the time being. Hardly any of them could blame them, either, after seeing how Ani was still having problems when Daryl left her by herself with too many people. Even though she wasn't as comfortable around them all as she had been just days before, most of them were just happy that Ani was up and around and talking again.
"I have a question for you," Rosita asked a little later when everyone was hanging out on the porches of the houses.
"What's that?" Ani replied, shifting Daryl's poncho around her as he dropped it down on top of her, knowing it helped when he wasn't there as he headed inside for a moment.
"How are both you and Eugene be autistic? You're completely different."
"And therein lies the misconception society's laid out-that we're all the same. We're not. Ya see Eugene ova there? He's consida'd 'mildly' autistic, meanin' 'is symptoms aren' life-debilitatin' and 'e could prolly learn ta live a little less cowadly if 'e only gave 'imself the chance. Me? I'm both ADHD and autistic. My symptoms are sometimes worse than otha's 'cause they ovalap each otha. The anxiety, the depression, the anga, the emotional outbursts, the hypafocusin', it all happens with both diversities. And there's so much different, too. Constantly bein' enagetic, constantly bein' able ta sense everythin' 'round me, not bein' able ta focus on a single task, procrastination. I don' rightly know how ta explain it when it comes ta me. I jus' have a lot a shite that can happen in a short amount a time 'cause my brain's buzzin' with bees but I'm drownin' unda wata. And then there are those who fall unda the category a 'severely' autistic, needin' ta do things a set way or else they break down, not bein' able ta handle noises and people at all. Ta some degree, we all get like that, but for those who're so close ta the stick a the umbrella that it's hard ta tell heads from tails, its so much worse. They need caretakas, usually, sometimes bein' put in group homes 'cause they can' function normally or take care a themselves. We all have our degrees a difficulties, but those 'severely' autistic are usually unable ta have a degree of life that ya and I can, even with help.
"Now, I say 'mildly' and 'severely' with quotes 'cause it's not a scale, not really, not like, 'scale a one ta ten type thing," she explained as Daryl came back out and sat behind her, Eugene and Abraham listening to her as well. "It's more like when ya step on a scale ta weigh yaself at a docta's office. Ya step on and ya got ta slide the thingy jus' right 'til ya get ta the propa weight. A tall, athletic person can have the same numba on the scale as a short, stocky person, yet they're as different as different can be in health and appearance. Sure, some things'll ovalap as far as maybe bein' diabetic or havin' high blood pressa, but they still aren' the same. Neurodiversity is exactly like that. The various things that fall unda the cloud that is bein' a versie all have that weight-scale type, individual placement on the spectrum. Nah two versies are the same, even if they have the same symptoms and behavias. We're nah more similar than ya and I are, Rose, or ya and Abe, or Abe and Merle, so on and so forth. Everyone is different, and that's the same for versies."
"Never thought of it that way," Rosita admitted.
"'Cause ya neva had ta," Ani told her with a shrug.
"I suppose not."
~x~
The next day found Ani, Daryl, Carol, and Rick outside the walls for more gun training, Bobby trudging along behind them while Catty laid across Ani's shoulders. Carol had her bag with her again, the same one she'd brought out the day before, only this time, it was hiding the guns she had grabbed the night before. Ani was pretty damn grateful that the woman had decided to play a meek little mouse again now that they had the firearms in their possession. She knew exactly how deadly she was with her knives, exactly how deadly she was with her fists, but she also knew that they could come back and be out of range of either knife or punch. She needed a gun that she had quick access to so that she could shoot first and think about the consequences later if she ever had to deal with those people again. She wasn't going be caught with her thumb up her ass again when it came to the people she knew would be back. When she had found out they had been exiled the second time, not clearly remembering the first thanks to the high stress of the situation and passing out, she had reacted just about as poorly as the first time. It was only marginally better because she wasn't in hysterics about her hair or in such a state of distress that she was having problems figuring out what was up from down. From the outside looking in, everyone within their group was protective of Ani, but, in reality, as soon as she found out they had only been exiled, she had warned them to be on the lookout. They knew what the older Parkers looked like now; she didn't want any of them to let their guard down and become the target of an attack.
Even Carol had been acting much more concerned for Ani, which was surprising at first, then understandable; Carol would want a gun if Ed wasn't dead. For the first time since the quarry, Carol and Ani had a pretty damn good understanding of each other and the older woman seemed to let go of her past grievances. Ani couldn't say she had completely let go of it all, Sophia's involvement being her biggest cause of contention, but there was an unspoken truce between the two. It was easier to stop thinking about things as being as bad as they seemed to be when a common denominator was brought into the picture. Even after Chrystal, Carol had been a bit skeptical that it had been Ani's parents more than her sister that had caused so many problems for the girl. She hadn't exactly been overly detailed about what had happened and a lot of what she did say had been a bit far-fetched, even to the woman who'd had to relocate her own shoulder several times a month. But even Carol had been forced to pull herself out of a few flashbacks when she witnessed what happened to Ani and could no longer hold the same contempt for the girl as she had. She couldn't even blame Daryl for picking the girl over her when she had obviously been through more than she had ever let on. Whatever had happened in her home life, Carol understood why Ani felt as strongly as she did about Sophia now as she held a Glock out to Ani before holding three other guns out to the others.
"Take your pick," she told men.
"Look, I get why Ania needs one, but I've been thinkin'. Do we really need these?" Daryl asked. "I mean, things go bad, yeah, sure. We do what we gotta do, but it's like you said. We don't need these for that."
"Right now we don't," Carol countered.
"I don' know," Ani said. "I mean, I could pretty well take everyone out easily. There's nah one with any kind a trainin' ta stop me if I wanted ta. 'Tween me and Rose, their best fightas would be down before they could even really try ta strike."
"Yeah, man. You told us to try. I'm good," he told the pair.
Rick took a pistol of his own while Carol kept the other two, saying she would return one of them to the armory when she could. They returned to Alexandria and went their separate ways, Carol going to the armory to turn in the pistol she had checked out while Rick went on patrol. Ani and Daryl went off on their own, just wandering around a little as they lazed around waiting for when they'd leave with Aaron. Daryl kicked Catty off Ani's shoulder and wrapped his arm around her again. It felt like he was keeping her sheltered, protected, when he had her pressed against his side, her arm bent up so she could hold his hand, entwining their fingers as she held tightly to him. While Ani normally didn't like being or feeling small, snuggled up to Daryl's side like this as they walked, it was a godsend. Feeling so small under the weight of his arm, so protected tucked into his side, she felt truly loved and as if she was going to be kept safe from anything that tried to get at her. And he kept whispering to her every night, adding new promises and telling her how beautiful she was and how strong she was at being able to recover as much as she had so quickly. He was so careful and caring that she knew she had been an idiot to ever have doubted the man's intentions. Daryl Dixon was a once in a lifetime catch and he had chosen to be with her, to protect her, to cherish her in ways she didn't even feel she deserved, and she was so thankful that he was hers.
Pulling him to a stop as they reached the porch of their house, she kissed him deeply, "I love ya. Neva forget that. Neva."
"I won't. Love you too," he told her, lowering his head for another kiss before dragging her inside.