Newly Revised

They watched as the Saviors drove away, every single car and truck minus their original RV and one black truck disappearing into the distance. Sophia was angry and scared all at the same time, shaken at what had transpired as she stared at Glenn's mangled corpse and full of rage towards those who had taken the people she cared about most. Ani was gone, Daryl was gone; two of the three people she'd come to rely on the most since the turn were gone just like that. Glenn was dead, Carl almost got his arm cut off, and she'd been forced to just kneel there and watch it all happen. She could only be hopeful that the twins remained safe in the tree she'd given them the signal to go into and away from the Saviors. She was doing her best not to start crying as she thought about how she was going to deal with the loss of the woman she looked up to the most in the world. Everything she was able to do now, she owed to Ani and Daryl anymore; all the fighting, the cooking, learning how to drive the ATV, having fun that wasn't for show. Sophia had been truly happy for the first time in her life and now all she felt was a crippling wave of despair.

As Rick called to Maggie, who worked her way to standing, Sophia ran towards the trees and called for the kittens. Only Catty came out, meaning that Bobby had followed Ani like he was supposed to, but that just meant that she could be in more danger than it was worth. Now she'd lost one of the twins on top of the better part of her immediate family and she didn't know what she was going to do. She knew that there had been nothing that they could do, nothing that could have been done, but she was so angry. She was angry at Rick for letting it happen, angry at Merle for not fighting harder, angry at herself for being scared all over again. Ani had been teaching her, had been training her, and she sat there like she was back at her dad's house when he was beating her mom. Sophia didn't know how to handle all the emotions she was feeling, letting the tears fall as she listened to the others before climbing in the RV and sitting between Merle and Carl.

When Carl tried to put his hand on her knee to offer support, Sophia jerked it out of the way before he could even touch her. She was particularly angry at him and wasn't sure if it was because of how he gave up, telling his dad to go ahead and cut his arm off, or if it was because of Enid before all of it happened. She knew he'd seen her crying for him and had heard her calling out and if he didn't know how she felt before, he probably had a good damn clue now. Even when Merle tried to wrap an arm around her shoulder, she jerked out of the way. How could he possibly know how she was feeling right now when she'd just found a family, a real family? Ani had been telling her that she could choose what role she wanted to play in her baby's life and now she didn't even know if her baby was going to survive. Daryl was bloody when they saw him, too, pale and sweating when he and the others were pulled out of that van and they had no way of knowing what had happened until they got back to Alexandria. And now Bobby was gone, following the trail of the Saviors trying to find Ani, which was exactly what she'd been trained to do, but what happened if they caught him? They'd kill him, and Ani had trusted her enough to take care of them in her absence and Sophia felt like a failure. Unable to keep the kittens safe, unable to help Ani or Daryl, unable to do anything but sit and cry and watch as her family was taken from her.

"Where's the other one?" Merle asked her.

"Trailin' them," Sophia told him quietly.

"Fuck!" Merle cursed, smacking his knee. "We get her back and we don't have that fuckin' kitten, we're as good as dead!"

"She's been huntin' for a while."

"Yeah, but that don't mean she knows how the hell to hide from hunters! And if those Saviors find and kill him, Ani won't stop until every last one is dead!"

"It don't matter," Sophia said. "Ani's gone."

"Don't be like that," Merle told her. "You know damn well she's coming back."

Sophia didn't say anything, just staring down at the kitten in her lap thinking about how her own mother never came back to her. After she'd gotten lost in the woods, her mother had never been the same and now the woman who had become like a mother to her was gone too. What if, when she came back, she was different too and no longer wanted Sophia there? What if she lost her home and her family all over again when they escaped? What if she decided that the baby was the only child she wanted and would toss Sophia aside like her mom did with Lizzie and Mika? Even Carl and Merle were more or less lost to her, Merle was spending more and more time with Francine and Carl following Enid around like a lost puppy. Both Daryl and Ani were gone, so it was just going to be her in their home with nothing but reminders of what she'd lost. She thought she knew what loneliness felt like before the world ended, but as she held onto Catty and the tears began to fall anew, it was now that she realized that she was really alone.

~x~

"No," Maggie said as Abraham and Sasha watched her slowly walking over to Glenn's body.

"We need to get you to the Hilltop," Rick told her.

"You need to go get ready," Maggie countered.

"For what?"

"To fight them."

"They have Ani and Daryl," Rick told her quietly, the sadness and defeat in his voice obvious to anyone who heard him. "They have an army. We would die—all of us."

"Then go home!" she told him. "Take everybody with you," she cried. "I can get there by myself."

"You can barely stand up," Rick tried to reason, reaching out to gently grab her forearm.

"I need to go!" she cried. "You need to go to Alexandria! You were out—out here for me."

"We still are," Rick told her, making her break down in sobs.

"I can make it now," she said. "I need you to go back. I can't have you out here. I can't have you out here anymore. I need you to go back!"

"Maggie...we're not letting you go," Michonne told her, everyone looking around and then back at her, Carl noticing Sophia's tear stained face as she held onto Catty while staring down the road.

"It's not gonna happen," Rick agreed.

"We'll take her," Abraham said as he and Sasha walked up, Beth following behind.

"We'll get her there," Sasha agreed as she nodded her head, both watching the weeping woman sadly. "We'll keep herself," she said as Maggie leaned into her before turning to Beth.

"We're not givin' you a choice," she told her.

"I'm takin' him," Maggie said, looking at Glenn's body as everyone nodded in agreement, Maggie walking over to it and kneeling down once again, the others coming over to kneel beside her. "I need to do this please!"

"We need to help you," Aaron told her.

"I got it," Carl told her, putting a hand on her shoulder and trying to get her to move. "I got it."

"No," Maggie said. "No."

"Pl-please, let us," Rick pleaded. "He's our family t—he's our family too."

Maggie finally relented, standing up and sobbing as she gave Carl a hug as Abraham, Rick, and Aaron carried Glenn's body to the bed of the truck Negan left behind. Abraham went back to where she was standing and helped her back to the vehicle as well. Sasha climbed in the back with Glenn's body as Beth climbed in the cab after Maggie while he ran around to the driver's seat. As they drove away from the RV everyone else climbed into, he couldn't help but look at the women with worry in his eyes as he booked it as quickly as he could to Hilltop. They were able to get there by noon, but Maggie had passed out within a few miles of their journey and was sweating profusely. Beth and Abraham shared a concerned look over her pale head as he floored the gas and tried to go faster, only to curse as they were stopped by trees in the road. They told Beth to stay in the truck with Maggie while they cleared the trees, the task taking longer than it did to get to Hilltop. Jesus met them at the gate as Abraham hollered up to let them in and was very helpful in directing them to the medical trailer. Dr. Carson immediately checked her vitals and performed an ultrasound, finding a small tear in her placenta, but the baby otherwise healthy. He set her up with an IV for hydration and told them she just needed rest and would come around on her own. Whatever she'd been through, whatever she had been doing the past week, had put too much stress on her body, resulting in the tear. Now she just needed to rest and take it easy for a few days and keep her stress levels down as much as she could. When the doctor asked what happened to her husband, that's when they were forced to face reality. Beth began crying and climbed into bed with Maggie, apologizing to her over and over again while holding her sister.

Abraham left Sasha to take care of Maggie and Beth while he went out to bury Glenn, Jesus following behind him to help, both of them saying nothing as they tended to their task. Abraham couldn't bring himself to go back into the medical trailer just to watch Maggie sleep and listen to Beth cry. He understood a little of how Daryl felt when he left Alexandria looking for the Saviors who killed Denise and shot Ani. Rather than going back into the trailer. he went over to one of the Hilltop people who was having a hard time lifting something and asked if they needed help. He spent the day doing things like that all over the work stations, Sasha coming out to help in the gardens after a while. Beth stayed in the trailer with Maggie and sang to her as she slept. As the sun set and Maggie did not wake up, they were offered the other bed in the medical trailer. Harlan, 'Dr. Carson' being his dad, slept in Barrington house rather than the trailer unless the person was in a life threatening situation. He told them he'd be back before the sun rose to check on her but there was otherwise nothing he could do for her. The best thing they could do was get some rest and wait for the morning to see if Maggie would wake up.

"You think she's doin' okay?" Abraham asked, looking at Maggie and Beth as they slept on the bed, Maggie curled around Beth as the girl held her sister close.

"She'll be fine," Sasha told him, sighing deeply as she went to sit on his lap. "They both will be."

"What about Ani and Daryl? Think they'll make it?"

"If anyone can, it's them," Sasha reasoned. "You've seen what Ani's like. Seen what she can do. And Daryl's no pushover either. He's just as capable as she is, maybe even more in some cases. They'll get out of there."

"Ani was in pretty bad shape herself, though, and Negan said he was taking her back to those assholes. Threatened the baby, too. Damn near got up to beat the man myself. Merle and I both. I wanted to kill him for sayin' that shit."

"You did good, Abraham," she told him, running her fingers through his hair. "You held yourself back. Helped keep Merle in line. Ani would be proud of you. I'm proud of you. They both will come back, and their baby will be safe too. Just you wait and see. I'm just worried about what it's going to cost."

"What do you mean?" Abraham asked her, perplexed even as he held Sasha on his lap.

"Just, what it's gonna do to them," Sasha clarified. "Being there. I mean, they just found out she was pregnant. And Maggie...watching Glenn die like that. This is going to be really hard for them to endure and not come out without something changed. Honestly, none of us will."

Abraham sighed deeply, just sitting there holding his woman while watching Maggie sleep now that her brow was finally clear of sweat and her body relaxed. Looking at her, he turned his eyes towards Sasha and contemplated their conversation earlier. He was ready to settle down, try to build a life and a family with her like Glenn and Maggie were, like Ani and Daryl. But with everything that had happened, he wasn't sure if she still wanted that; hell, he wasn't sure he was ready to start popping out pups that needed looking after. Glenn was dead, killed right in front of his wife by the same group of sorry assholes who killed a sixteen year old in front of the people of Hilltop. Honestly, the thought of having a kid now with what was happening with the Saviors was scarier than facing down an enemy with nothing but a hand full of shit. He wasn't sure where they were going to go from here and how they were supposed to get ready against an actual army. Even with the combined forces of Hilltop and Alexandria, they just didn't have the numbers let alone the firepower. He hated that he was basically hogged tied with his dick over fire until they got their people back and found enough weapons. Yet he still couldn't stop thinking about the possibility of having another family with Sasha and doing it all over again.

"You still thinkin' about it?" he asked her, snapping her eyes to him.

"About what?"

"What we talked about earlier? Doin' like they did? After all this, you still thinkin' about it?"

"Yes...and no. We need to finish this thing with the Saviors before we talk about that again. And we have to finish it," she told him quietly as she turned to look at Maggie. "For Glenn. For Maggie. For Ani and Daryl. We have to finish it, Abraham. Whatever it takes."

"No," he told her, turning her face back around to meet his eyes. "I've been down that road once. And whatever it took wasn't worth the risk or the cost. If we want that future, we want to think about that life, well, we're gonna have to be careful. I agree, we end it. But there are certain things I just ain't willin' to risk."

"Like what?" she asked him, her eyes going soft when he just stared at her. "Abe..."

"Yeah, I'm an idiot," he said with a chuckle, Sasha turning to lay her head on his shoulder. "Should get some rest. You've been up for a while."

"So've you."

"So we both rest," he told her, tapping her hip as she went to stand, both going and laying down after shutting off the lights.

~x~

Sophia had spent the night at Francine's with Merle and the woman, barely able to eat any dinner after everything that had happened. As soon as they'd gotten back, Enid had come running to see Maggie only to find out had happened on their way to the Hilltop and that she'd been taken there. She became angry at Carl, practically throwing a fit that he'd locked her in a closet in the armory instead of letting her go with them. After that, Rick had called a meeting in the newly built church and informed the whole of Alexandria what happened. Merle had dragged her to Francine's house after that, telling her she could stay with them while Ani was gone so she didn't have to be alone. Francine wasn't happy that Catty had started crying halfway through the night, but Sophia and Merle both reasoned that the poor thing had never been without Bobby, Ani, and/or Daryl before and was missing them. Francine agreed to deal with it for now, suggesting they bring a blanket or something over from Sophia's house that smelled like the others. It surprised Sophia that Francine knew what to do until the woman said that it was something she did for her dog when she'd go on longer trips. Walking into her house, Sophia couldn't help but fight the tears that wanted to fall; she'd cried enough last night. Catty immediately started yowling for Ani and Bobby as soon as she got into their room, obviously looking for the others, breaking Sophia's heart even more. Then and there she decided that as soon as she could sneak out undetected, she was going to leave Alexandria. She needed to know how Ani was, needed to find Bobby for Catty; at the very least, she needed to get Catty back to Ani before the kitten got sick. A friend from school had been given a cat by her cousin when they moved that died because it missed it's family so much that it went into a depression and stopped eating. She didn't want that to happen to Catty so she had to figure out where the Saviors were holding up, she just had to.

Grabbing her bow and several knives, Sophia stormed into Ani's room and grabbed the blanket off the end of her bed and draped it over her arm as Catty kept yowling. In the end, she'd cried again and yelled, throwing the blanket down along with her bow and just cried into her knees as she crumpled to the floor. She wanted everything to be back to how it was just a few days ago when they were eating dinner at the table talking about Ani's pregnancy. She wanted to have them back more than she wanted Carl to notice her not Enid. She wanted what she felt like she deserved after everything she had gone through growing up and everything she had lost. After all this time, her true mother had abandoned her all over again, this time abandoning Alexandria in general, the group with it. And Ani, ever since she said Sophia she'd told her that she was her kid, too, Sophia had been even more dependent on Ani and Daryl. She was dependent on Merle, too, she really was, but not in the same way, not since she'd decided to stay living with Ani and Daryl.

Merle had been adamant about looking out for her, sure, taking her out a few times a week to keep her tracking and hunting skills up. But he wasn't interested in her day to day life, much like Rick had become with Carl ever since they'd gotten to Alexandria. But Carl had been able to cozy up to Enid, and Michonne and Ani both kept their eyes on his emotional state along with a lot of the other survivors. Nobody seemed to care about Sophia, truly care, about how she was doing, whether it was physical, emotional, or general, no one but Ani. Carl had become distant ever since they'd made it to Alexandria, Merle hadn't had much time for her with Francine, and only Ani and Daryl kept her up to date on what they were doing. She wasn't lonely, since she was with Beth a lot and had been learning with Denise about modern medicine while teaching the woman herbal. But she had come to rely on Ani and Daryl as her real family, her real parents after even Daryl started teaching her how to fix bikes and four wheelers while Ani had showed her how to ride hers.

Which gave her an idea on how she could get out of Alexandria without being seen by anyone, Merle and the guards included. Ani's four wheeler was parked in the garage, and while it was a bit heavy to roll it out, Daryl had showed her how he had purposely made Ani's ride as quiet as he could, so there was a good chance that she could just drive out of here on that. She would have to wait for when the guard at the gate was loosened a bit, but she knew the schedule and so knew she could manage it. Heck, it was only going to be Spencer in the lookout tonight and Tobin working the gate; if she played her cards right, she could go as early as tonight. Returning to her room, she grabbed her bag and went back to Ani's where she grabbed the compass Ani kept in a drawer as well as her daggers. She then went to both of their dressers, followed by their closet, and got Daryl and Ani a couple changes of clothes for when she got back to them. Running back into hers, Sophia grabbed some clothes for herself, just in case she was gone for more than a few days. Some food from the pantry, including some venison jerky Ani had taught her how to make and some dried fruit, went into the bag as well. Sophia was sure that they would be hungry when she found them and wanted to make sure she had something she could give them. She was pretty sure that she had everything she needed packed and ready when she heard the door open, quickly stashing the bag in the cupboard beside her and kick it closed as she heard Carl call for her.

"Hey, how are you doing?" Carl asked her while walking into the kitchen, having found out that Carol had left about the same time Sophia had.

"Why do you care?" she asked hotly as she tried to make it look like she'd been putting the dishes away.

"You're my best friend. Of course I care," he told her.

"Yeah, well, you better check with your girlfriend if she's okay with you having a girl as a friend," Sophia said, thinking about all the dirty looks she'd been getting from Enid every time she saw her and Carl together.

"Enid's not my girlfriend."

"But you want her to be."

Carl looked at her in shock before saying, "What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me?!" Sophia scoffed as she turned around to face Carl finally. "What's wrong with me is that I can't keep a family to save my life! What's wrong with me is that the few things I ever had right in my life keep gettin' taken and taken from me! And I can't even go back to my mom because she took off! Again!"

"It's not like I've got-"

"You've got your dad and Judith! You've got Michonne! I had Merle. I had Daryl. I had Ani," Sophia said as she started to cry, the anger and sorrow having reached more than she could take. "I had you!Then we get here and all that changes! Merle goes off with Francine! You spend all your time with Enid and don't even talk to me unless something happens! Daryl and Ani take me in like I'm theirs and I get to have a real family! A proper family like all those shows mom used to watch! And now it's gone all over again!"

"Phia," Carl said quietly, coming over to stand beside her and put an arm around her shoulders, only for her to slap it off and take a step away from him.

"No, Carl! You don't get it!"

"I lost my mom, too," he told her, trying to understand why she was so angry all of a sudden. "It's not like we all haven't lost something."

"I don't just lose things, Carl!" she shouted at him, neither noticing Merle enter the house, though he was polite enough to stick in the living room. "They're taken from me! Your mom just died! It was over! It was done! I didn't lose my mom! She abandoned me! She ran away because she only thinks of herself! She doesn't care about me! She doesn't care about the group! She just wants to run and hide because she can't handle the killing anymore! And Ani and Daryl! They were both just ripped away without lettin' me even say goodbye! And you!" she said, rounding on him and poking a finger into his chest hard enough to make him stumble back a step. "You and I were thick as thieves! I thought...I stupidly thought...All you care about is Enid! You lock her in a cupboard but don't even say two words to me about me stayin' behind! You've barely even spoken to me since everything! You've known me since this all happened but one look at her and you're just gone! All the time! I've seen you out there in the woods with her! That used to be us! That was our thing! But you went and gave it to her! And I'm the one that has to see the smirks every time she sees me watchin'! I'm the one that deals with the snide remarks in passin'! Why do you think I stopped hangin' out with you or askin' you to hang out with me, Carl?!"

"She doesn't...she doesn't do that, Sophia. Enid's not like that," he sighed, looking at her confused.

"How would you know if you're not the one it's directed at?" Sophia spat before scoffing and looking down. "Leave."

"What?"

"Just leave!" she screamed at him. "You don't wanna be here, anyway! So just go! Go back to your girlfriend and your family!" she said, trying to get a hold of her emotions before she looked at him square in the eye. "I don't want you here. It hurts too much."

"Phia," he said, trying to take a step forward, but she just took one back and folded her arms in on herself, Carl completely confused by the way she was acting, what she just said. "I don't understand."

"I like you, Carl! I have for a long time! And like everything else I care about, you're bein' taken away, too! So just leave! Go back to your life and stay the hell out of mine!" Sophia cried right before she ran from the room.

She still didn't notice Merle standing awkwardly in the living room as she ran past, running up the stairs and straight into Ani and Daryl's room, slamming the door. Sophia grabbed onto Catty who had been laying curled up on the blanket and sobbed into her fur as the kitten laid there. Already the thing was becoming lethargic. If anything, the outburst she'd had downstairs was only fuel for the raging fire that told her she needed to get out of Alexandria and try to find the trail. She knew how to get back to the clearing; she'd made it a point since the prison of doing mental exercises to increase her ability to remember. Once she got to the original area of the road, all she'd need to do was look for the cues she memorized and she'd be able to find where she was going. Walking around the room, she gathered a few more items that she could and made a list of what else she would need before laying on the floor in front of the door and curling up under the blanket the cats used with Ani's pillow under her head.

Downstairs, Carl was still standing in the kitchen, just staring at what was now an empty spot. Of all the things Sophia had said, he wasn't sure how to take any of it. Okay, she felt abandoned, he could understand that. He'd felt betrayed by his mother's relationship with Shane, making him angrier than he'd ever been, so he could understand some of the anger directed towards Carol. He couldn't quite understand the bit about Enid, and the fact that Sophia liked him? It honestly put a pain in his chest that he couldn't quite place when he realized that he was the person who she liked. But, honestly, how was he supposed to know that she liked him when she never said anything? Enid made it pretty damn easy to tell that she liked him; she'd already kissed his cheek when they'd gotten stuck in a tree as walkers passed. Sophia hadn't indicated at all that she liked him other than how she'd blushed when they were on the road and tended to sleep close to each other for heat and comfort. Carl wasn't a mind reader to know how she felt about him or what she'd been going through and feeling in general. He wasn't a hunter either, which was why he didn't hear Merle coming into the kitchen even though the only sounds in the room were Merle's boot falls and the sound of the blood rushing through his ears.

"You got it bad, kid," Merle told him, making Carl start badly with a sound of surprise that had Merle chuckling.

"You heard all that?"

"I caught the end of it. I knew the girly was havin' a hard time, but I didn't realize it'd gotten so bad," Merle admitted. "They may not be related by blood, but you can see the influence Ani's had on little Phia the minute that girl has any weight to carry. She does it all by herself until it explodes, just like Ani does. Hell, she's even willin' to take a step back so the guy she likes can have a go at the gal he likes."

"Does everybody know?!" Carl asked, thinking he was the last person to find out Sophia's feelings for him.

"Well, we Dixons knew. You can thank Ani for that mostly, though I think that's because you both admitted to liking each other. But now you're with Enid, eh?"

"No, I'm not. It's not like...We're not...She's not..."

"The more you try to deny it, son, the more obvious it become," Merle told him, clapping his shoulder.

"She's not my girlfriend!" Carl insisted. "It's not that I don't like Enid, but we're not doing anything. We've just hung out a lot. We haven't even been talking much since the last time we were out in the woods because she doesn't get it!"

"What doesn't Enid get, boy?" Merle asked.

Carl looked at Merle and then down, his shoulders slumping, "We found Deanna."

"As a walker?"

"Yeah."

"You kill it?"

"No," Carl sighed. "I saw Michonne and Spencer in the woods before we found it, so I told Enid to come back here. I led it through the woods closer to where they were so Spencer could do it."

"Like you did your mom."

"No, not like that. My mom was out, she hadn't turned. But, if she had, I would have still been happy that it was me, or Dad. If it can be, it should be someone they loved."

"Now, that is a damn noble thought right there," Merle told him, pride and hope shining through his eyes and voice as he spoke to the boy. "Let me guess, Enid didn't understand."

"Phia would've," Carl said. "You wanna know why I go to the woods with Enid? It's because she's not a fighter. She can't protect herself, not like Phia can. I mean, I can't even fight like she can anymore. Her and Beth have already completed what Ani called the intermediate courses for MMA. And they're only getting better." He sighed and looked down, turning to prop his hands on the counter as he leaned back against it, "Enid needs me to protect her. Phia's always the one protecting me, or trying to. It makes me feel like I'm not good enough or manly enough or something."

"Oh well, I wouldn't say that. You know how many times Ani's had to pull Daryl from the line of fire? Or save his ass? I'm sure you'll have your time to shine and be her knight in shining armor. Right now, for starters."

"She told me to leave," Carl deadpanned.

"Do you think that's what she wants?" Merle asked, knowing from experience the boy was going to have to figure it out himself, but that he wasn't mature enough in that sense just yet.

It was so easy to forget he was a kid until all this came up and showed just how ignorant at relationships he was, Sophia too. It was easy to forget that they weren't even quite fourteen yet now that he thought about it. They'd both only been twelve when the world went to hell, Sophia turning thirteen shortly after the farm fell while Carl's birthday fell in winter. Hell, Sophia's birthday was just around the corner and now Ani and Daryl were gone when Ani'd been working on carving her a bead for her hair out of owl bone, taking little leather straps she'd made out of the deer hide scraps from Daryl's project to tie feathers to it. He had been working on making the girl a nice quiver out of the hide of the deer she herself had shot down, even though he wasn't the best at sewing, as well as new arrows. Ani had also been making ties with feathers for the quiver, as well as some beads they'd found on a run. Now, he didn't even know if the pair would finish their projects before the girl's big day and he sure as hell couldn't. And with Francine's slight attitude towards Catty, which he could understand seeing as he was just as miffed about the thing crying all damn night, was enough to push the little girl over the edge. She needed the people she considered her family more than ever and she was left with him and only now did fe realize that he'd been treating her just like any other adult when she wasn't. Gonna have ta step up my game if I'm gonna help her through this, he thought to himself as he looked towards the stairs.

"I think I'm just gonna go," Carl said, his shoulders completely slumped in defeat.

"Alright, just think about what I said," Merle told him before heading up to his siblings' room.

Merle tried to enter it, only to find more resistance than normal, "Phia? Mind movin' away from the door?"

"Go away," came the muffled reply.

"Now, you know I can't do that," Merle told her. "You wanna tell me what's goin' on? Why you so pissed off?"

"Just go away!"

"Ok, that's it," he said as he stood from his crouched position and forced the door open enough to squeeze through, stepping into the room and finding the pile on the other side of the door. "I know you ain't happy right now, but that don't give ya a right to be a little bitch. I know I ain't been the best lookin' after ya, but I done what I can. Ain't ever been much to care and I'm tryin'. Daryl's always been the softy. But I'm what you got right now, so talk to me. Tell ya Pops what's wrong? What's really wrong, not just what happened down there." Rather than answer, the ball on the floor tightened itself even further into a ball, the kitten on top of it purring just a little at the closeness, Merle doing the best to be understanding. "Come on, Phia. I can't help if you don't speak, and I'm tryinna help. Or do you just want me to sit here with you all night?" he asked, moving to sit next to the head, or what he assumed was the head, of the ball of blankets.

"Please go?"

"Not until you tell me what's wrong."

"I couldn't do anythin'!" Sophia yelled as she sat up, throwing the blankets off, red in the face and crying her eyes out. "I couldn't do anythin'! Everythin' just feels wrong, like it's too much and I'm just so angry! Those Saviors killed Glenn! They took Ani and Daryl! And now I'm stuck here doin' nothin' to help them! They've done everything for me and I can't do a damn thing for them! And I'm stuck here, pissed off because the boy I like doesn't like me or likes me but likes someone else more, whatever! I don't care! I just want Ani and Daryl back! I want Bobby back! I want my family back! I finally found it and now I...I..."

Merle gathered the girl up in his arms as she sobbed, sighing and saying, "Well, that makes two of us as far as wanting our family back. And we'll get 'em back, don't you ever think otherwise."

"Yeah," Sophia said with a sniffle. "What do I do without them?"

"You either stay here or stick with me, kiddo. That's all you really can do."

"So you're just givin' up?!" Sophia shouted, pushing away from him. "You don't even want to try to look for them?!"

"Did you see their numbers, kid? You got a plan to go against that? To find them against that? Sometimes you have to wait," he tried to reason with her.

"And sometimes you have to fight!"

"Now's not the time!"

"You told Carl and Ani to wait at the prison, and look where it got us then! If we'd've killed the Governor, we might have not had to deal with any of this! We could still be in Georgia!"

"Or we could be dead!" Merle shouted back at her before standing and heading towards the door in a bid to control his anger. "Get your fuckin' act together by tomorrow. Just 'cause I'm tryin' ta be understandin' doesn't mean I'm gonna tolerate that bullshit. Ain't my fault this shit is happenin', and I ain't about to be your whippin' block just 'cause you feel like shit. Get your shit together, Sophia."

He slammed the bedroom door shut, doing the same to the house door, making Sophia start crying all over again. She was scared and alone and all she had was Catty and Merle and now Merle was angry at her too. She knew she was being a brat and being mean, but she was so angry at everyone and everything that she couldn't help but lash out. Hearing Merle himself say that there was nothing they could do had just made the anger grow into a rage she just couldn't control. For the first time in her life, all Sophia wanted to do was hit something, break something, anything, to make herself feel better. How could Merle just roll over and give up like that when that was their family, when they didn't even know how they were doing? He was always talking about how they were family, they had to keep an eye out for each other, but now he was just giving up on Ani and Daryl. She refused to do that when all she needed was for Catty to pick up the trail once she got to the clearing, maybe even the road. It'd only been one night; Catty should be able to catch the scent easily enough if she left that night and found her way back.

Taking the advantage of being alone, she finished gathering supplies; rope, a first aide kit, more rations, some extra knives, a tarp for shelter, the thick jacket Ani had found for her, Daryl's spare quiver, and a few other odds and ends she might need for however long it took. After that, she went into the garage and double checked the ATV best she could with what Daryl had taught her. She then went back inside and set a timer, climbing back under the covers to get some sleep before she had to head out. Even though falling asleep was easy enough at first, especially with Catty climbing all over her, Sophia's dreams were troubled. She woke up often and startled in her sleep as the images of the night before last flew past her eyelids. It had been the same the night before, Catty's wailing barely even bothering Sophia as the girl couldn't stay asleep for the life of her. It was only after Catty draped herself across Sophia's body that she was able to get a more peaceful sleep as the two took comfort in each other. As expected, the alarm went off just as the last lights of Alexandria were shut off and she could sneak out without anyone noticing.

She grabbed the blanket Catty was on and rolled it up, tying it to her bag using the straps that kept the lip closed before putting on her thick coat headed out to the garage. There was a note and some food on the dining room table from Merle, telling her he was sorry for yelling at her. They were all scared for Daryl and Ani and although that was no excuse for her whiny ass behavior, he understood how she felt. He asked that she give him some time to figure out the next step but Sophia didn't have the patience to wait and figure things out; she'd figure it out along the way. Heading to the garage door, she opened it slowly and carefully, double checking that there was no one in the street. It was nearing midnight, and the changing of the guard would be happening in a few minutes when the gate would be unguarded long enough for her to slip through if she timed it right. She put Catty on the seat as she started pushing the ATV out of the garage and headed towards the gate, hiding in a small part of the shadows as the patrols came in. She thanked her lucky stars that she had gotten everything right as she moved as fast as she could over to the gate. Opening it and pushing the vehicle out, she went back and closed the gate before climbing on and started the ignition. Within the span of ten minutes, Sophia had managed to sneak out of Alexandria and was on her way to try to save her parents.