Newly Revised

Ani stood next to Maggie listening to her as she talked to Negan while the prisoners were standing behind them with Alden standing the closest to Maggie. To her, it looked like he had taken her words seriously, along with several others in their group if how they were blocking the ones like Jared from getting to Maggie. On top of that, not a single one had to be jostled or said anything about being used as bargaining chips, with the exception of Jared and Gregory. In fact, the old man had an obviously bloody nose from when he'd tried to talk Maggie into letting him go while Jared was sporting a fat lip. Even though Ani blamed it on pregnancy hormones making her lash out, the smug smile and shrug of her shoulders when she'd punched the older man square in the face and socked the younger in the jaw spoke volumes to the contrary. She'd warned them both to keep their mouths shut or else she would shut them herself and neither of them had bothered to listen. The annoyance she felt towards the two was quickly shifted to rage towards Negan after Maggie delivered her own warning, telling Negan they still had his men. When he answered back and started talking shit culminating in the man saying Daryl was the reason Glenn was dead, Ani reached her breaking limit and snatched the walkie out of Maggie's hand.

"Fuck ya jus' say?!" she shouted, continuing to shout loud enough to get through the walkie before Maggie took it back, "Ya the fuckin' bastard that chose ta kill 'im! I'll make ya eat ya fuckin' dick, ya son a a bitch! Eat shite, ya motha fuckin', cocksuckin' son a a whore!"

"Ani!" Maggie chastised, though she did understand how Ani felt; she didn't even blame Daryl for what happened. "So, how's this gonna go?" she asked Negan.

"Well, Maggie Rhee, I guess that's thirty eight less bullets I have to worry about. Thirty eight less mouths to feed. As much as I hate doin' it, their lives? Well, as soon as they gave up the fight instead of dyin', they were lost. You see, I don't take kindly to people who get themselves captured. I take pride in my men fightin' to the end. Now, that's not sayin' that, should they figure a way out of their current predicament in the onslaught headin' your way that I won't take them back. But if you think you can use them to make me stand down? Ain't happenin'."

"Told ya none a ya matta'd ta 'im," Ani goaded, many of the prisoners' faces dawning in realization of just how expendable they were to Negan, before she headed into the office.

"Ani?!" Maggie called after her. "It's too soon!"

"Jus' stick ta the plan!" she yelled back. "And untie Alden, dammit!"

Running inside, she grabbed one of the automatics and made her way outside and to where she knew the motorcycle would be parked when Daryl got back, and Tara was near there. While no one would be happy she was outside, she had already been dealing with the tremors in her hands as the night had progressed and she just couldn't wait. Her back had started hurting from how she was standing stiffly to keep her tremors in her hand while the feeling of fire had begun spreading through her spine. Heading to the front door, she almost got stopped by a few of the other people, but rather than even talking to them, Ani moved right through. She wasn't about to let anything stop her from getting outside when being inside was only making things worse for her and Maggie was going to be coming out after giving the signal anyway. There simply no way she would be able to wait until Maggie went on the offensive, making to exit the house and run over to one of the cars. As soon as she was outside, she was moving even amid the protests of the people she knew best telling her to get back inside until she ducked down and sat next to Michonne, startling the woman. Ani just smiled at her and shrugged her shoulders while making sure the automatic was prepped properly and thankful she had grabbed an extra clip.

"You're supposed to be inside," Michonne chastised.

"Ya really think I got it in me ta sit it out again after what happened last time?"

"That's why I chose to wait here. I wouldn't have been able to sit it out either, pregnant or not. Not with Rick out there," Michonne told her. "But if you're out here, you stay with me until we find Daryl, do you understand?"

"Until I hear 'is bike come in, fine. Was goin' ta look for Tara, though. I don' trust 'er not ta listen ta the retreat. Don' trust D not ta eitha, or Merle, or the kids, really. That's why I got the kids in the windows."

"Thank you for that. I don't know what Rick and I would do if we lost Carl, or Judith."

"I get it, I do. When I thought I was goin' ta lose-" her statement was cut off by the sound of gunfire and the engine of Daryl's bike. "Got ta go."

~x~

Daryl was standing by his bike, watching the road for the Saviors, when the horns started going off, making him grab the air horn on his bike. He let it sound off before picking up his binoculars, looking to the road first, trying to find out how close the Saviors were, but not seeing any sign of them yet. Turning the binoculars to the Hilltop, he took a deep breath and worked on reminding himself that Ani was going to be fine inside those walls. She would be sticking with Maggie until she turned the light off while being protected by not only the kids from the second floor, but the twins, too. Catty hadn't left her side since she'd had her panic attack, and Bobby had been hissing at anyone who came too close to her. Hell, the little bastard had even taken a swipe at him when he'd raised his voice at Ani when they had argued over where she would be during the attack. If he was being honest, ever since the Sanctuary, they'd been having more and more problems and arguing a lot more. Something about that place had broken a part of Ani she wasn't willing to get back, and he was pretty sure it had something to do with what Negan had made her do to her parents. Even then, with the pregnancy, with the stress they were both under, he didn't want to blame her for how hard she was fighting to stay in the fight even if she was told to sit out. It was hard for her, being at the Hilltop waiting while he was out here, just as it was hard for him knowing that she wouldn't stay in the house. She was supposed to, but over the last couple years, he'd learned how she dealt with her head and he knew damn well she wouldn't just stay back. No, she'd come to him when the fighting started so that he could protect her while she did what she could to protect her people like she always did.

He was impatiently waiting, smoking a cigarette to help calm his nerves while regularly checking in with the lookouts, finding out that everything was ready and Ani had at least taken a nap. It wasn't until after night had fallen and he could no longer see who was on the wall that the Saviors began rolling through. Their headlights lit up the road as they traveled towards the Hilltop, Daryl throwing his lit smoke to the side as he climbed on his motorcycle and began counting in his head. He waited to the count of sixty as he saw the Saviors stop and listened as Maggie spoke to Negan, Ani falling for his goading as he listened to her rant. The thing was, if he hadn't have acted irrationally that night, Glenn would still be alive to see his kid born; Negan wasn't wrong about that. It was because of that that Daryl was fighting so hard for the Hilltop and willing to risk everything to keep Maggie and Ani both safe. He'd be lying if he said that the guilt from that and Ani getting injured and being taken to the Sanctuary hadn't been taking it's toll on their relationship, too.

Daryl couldn't help the anger coursing through his veins, nor the fact that it was half the reason he and Ani kept getting into arguments. The guilt was, admittedly, the biggest reason he kept trying to tell her where to go and what to do so much even though he knew she hated it. He didn't want her put in that situation again where she talked him into letting her do something dangerous, something that put her at risk. He hadn't cared for so long, just wanting to keep an eye on her and keep her by his side from the minute Merle had been left in the city and they left the quarry. For the longest time, he'd been so scared that she was going to go the same route that he'd made the selfish choice to keep her with him without thinking about her safety. Even after they found out the pregnancy, he'd kept her with him, and what had that gotten them in the long run? She'd been shot, the wound getting infected and her being knocked out for two days, and then she'd been taken to the Sanctuary and forced to fight her parents. The guilt and anger he felt about all of it had made him extremely possessive and protective of both her and the baby, and that had been unleashed on her one too many times. He could only hope that, when the fighting was over, that they could mend what was cracking under the pressure of all the fighting. Daryl wanted things to go back to the way they had been before the Saviors, before the satellite station, before they had tried to lead the horde away; he could tell she wanted that, too.

Starting his bike up, he revved it a couple times before taking off, heading towards the back of the Savior's convoy to start the official attack. It was going to be difficult, balancing the bike with one hand on the automatic's trigger, but he was confident in his riding abilities. Hell, as it was, Ani had fretted over the bike with Merle the night before, Merle going through and making sure the wires were right and checking the breaks and shocks at Ani's request. Even now, he hadn't had everything so tight since the first time he'd taken it for a drive with Ani on the back. When all of this was over, he was going to take her out again and make it up for his attitude lately, explain it all and hope things would go back to normal before Lou was born. It was holding onto that feeling that he became determined to end the fight that night and took a hand off the bike to start pulling the trigger, mowing down several Saviors that had been stupid enough to try to take the gate while being out of the cars. Daryl revved the engine as soon as he quit firing and made his way towards the opening he'd been given, picking up speed as the Saviors ran to get into their respective cars. It gave him a head start to get into the Hilltop before the Saviors had a chance to even start moving their vehicles as he booked it through the gates and past the bus. Tobin was already driving it forward behind him just as the big black truck Negan had jumped into ran through the gate, ramming the bus right where metal had reinforced it. Gunning it around one of the trucks they'd positioned to use as cover, he practically shut the bike off before it was even stopped and jumped off, grabbing his gun as it fell. The look on his face darkened even as Ani smiled brightly at him when she came around the corner without a care in the world. Even if he knew she wouldn't stay in the house when she was supposed to, that didn't mean he was happy that she was out there.

"You were supposed to stay inside!" he whispered at her angrily as the Saviors made their way around the bus.

"Yeah, well shite changes. I ain' bein' trapped again," she told him right before Maggie gave the signal.

With her shout, everyone popped up and started firing at the Saviors and it was obvious they hadn't been expecting their forces to have so much ammunition when they started to scatter. At least an eighth of the Saviors were down before they even had a chance to retreat, though it didn't matter since not all of the Saviors' forces had come through the gate. With a shout from Negan, both Daryl and Ani watched as several of their people went down, Daryl's hand on the back of Ani's collar grabbing her out of the way of an arrow herself. They both wore matching looks of confusion that lasted all of a second as another round of their people went down and Ani mentioned how strange it was that the Saviors weren't using guns. With Eugene supplying the Saviors with bullets, they should have had enough to fight fire with fire and they were instead using arrows? Ani didn't have time to contemplate the reasoning as they continued firing at people while doing their best to avoid enemy fire, Saviors without bows and arrows pouring through the gates. It was hard to tell who was where, but Ani could see that several of the men and women on the upper defense of the wall were injured. She wasn't sure how many of theirs had died as she and Daryl weaved their way around their defenses in an attempt to make it harder for the Saviors to fire on them. While it did work in making it harder for the arrows to reach their troops on the ground, it also made it easier for the Saviors who came through the gate without getting shot to sneak up on them. It was literally a game of cat and mouse, where the mouse could become the cat at any moment. Ani was just thankful that she wasn't stuck inside with the kids as much as she was that she'd left the bobcats inside. Catty was upstairs with Judith and Grace while Bobby was with Sophia as an extra source of protection for the girl. She wasn't about to leave the kids without a back-up plan in case they needed to make a quick exit.

She and Daryl ran around one of the tents that had been set up to house the several refugees from the Kingdom and Alexandria, dodging arrows as they went. They pressed their backs up against a truck as they each looked in different directions to check their surroundings and get their bearings. Ani noticed Tara not too far away, firing away at the Saviors as she moved in and out of cover behind another vehicle. Only a few Saviors had managed to make it into the gates, but feeling Daryl stiffen next to her made her look his way catching sight of the man they both loathed sneaking through the tents, Dwight following behind him. The bastard had a new crossbow with him, Ani taking aim only for Daryl to once again pull her back. They watched as the two men tried to sneak up on Tara, Daryl calling out her name only for a Savior to pop up right in front of Ani, her hand moving fast to grab a knife out and throw it. It was an automatic reaction to pull the knife and not raise the gun, her reaction time with the knives much faster, even though Daryl had raised his gun and shot the man through the head at the same time as her knife found purchase in his eye. They both turned in time to watch Negan raising his bat to charge Tara when Dwight shot her with an arrow, causing her to turn around as she squeezed the trigger to her gun which made Negan to duck in cover before retreating along with Dwight. Both she and Daryl raised their guns and began firing towards the men as they ran, both of them wanting to land one bullet, just one, on either of them. Unfortunately for the pair, Negan and Dwight were protected by the Hilltop's own defenses as they made their retreat, though neither she nor Daryl stopped firing. That was why neither of them noticed noticed when the light to Barrington was turned off, neither caring to pay much attention to anything other than harming Negan and Dwight until they were out of sight. Ani started moving over to Tara until she noticed Beth going to help her retreat from where she was slumped over on the ground and Michonne shouted at them quietly.

"Daryl, Ani, it's time! Maggie gave the signal. We gotta go."

"Dammit!" Ani cursed, moving to the house until she noticed Daryl rooted in spot looking as angry as she felt, going back to grab his hand. "Baby, come on. Can' stay 'ere. We'll get 'em soon 'nough, but right now, we got ta go."

"Yeah," was his gruff reply before letting her lead him away.

Together, they went with Michonne to their next spots as the 'Bomb Squad,' as Ani and Abraham had called them, threw smoke bombs everywhere, covering their own positions. As soon as the air was thick with smoke, their people behind the line of cars in front of the manor began to shoot out the lights of the Saviors' own transportations. The more lights went out, the happier Ani became, because she knew that their plan was going to work, and when the very last light went out, everyone at the Hilltop ceased their fire. Ani held up a hand that was passed to Ezekiel on one side, Michonne on the other, all of them waiting to give the order. The Saviors were coming around the bus, and Ani was just waiting for the bulk of their force to move in as they fanned out, smiling as two different groups moved to the side, still working in their favor. Negan began whistling in a futile attempt at intimidation, only getting two of that damn two-note whistle out before Ani dropped her hand, Michonne and Ezekiel doing the same. The silent command had those in the cars facing out turning their lights on, blinding the Saviors right before they rained fire down on the enemy.

From the second and third floor, gunshots rang out as their secondary force finally took on their primary role during the battle. Ani heard Negan call for an immediate retreat, even as several of his men were mowed down, though when the Saviors went running back to their vehicles, Ani outright laughed in joy as the auxiliary force moved in. Rick, Abraham, and Merle led the group that had been out monitoring the roads, their own lights trapping the Saviors in their blind state. Ani could hear Negan cussing and cursing all of them in his attempt to get back to safety, his men being injured or killed as both sides of the battle pinned the Saviors down. She ran out of bullets at the same time as she saw Simon yelling to get down as he moved around the bus and ran for his truck. Pulling out her knives, she began throwing them at every Savior she could until the surviving attackers had made it to their vehicles and began peeling out. Several vehicles were abandoned as she, Maggie, Merle, Sasha, and Abraham formed a line with handguns out, Ani receiving hers from Maggie as she came running out of the house. Daryl was helping Rick find and kill the Saviors that were being left behind as the rest abandoned the fight. Maggie was on the verge of tears as she watched the Saviors leave, Negan and Dwight being among those to escape as Daryl ran up to the gate behind them. Merle cursing up a storm as Abraham simply put a hand on his shoulder, Sasha coming over to wrap Maggie in a side hug while Daryl stopped Ani from continuing to run after the Saviors.

"I wanted them dead," Maggie told them, her voice breaking. "All of them. Negan most of all."

"Ya and me both," Ani said angrily.

"Did you see him?" she asked.

"Yeah. D and I had 'im in our sights, jus' couldn' land a hit."

"I saw him out there," Merle admitted. "Tried takin' him out, but the fucker got away. He's gonna die, gotta. Nobody messes with the Dixons and gets away with it."

"Amen ta that, brotha."

"Thank you," Maggie said after a few seconds.

"Everything good here?" Rick asked when he walked up as the rest went back towards the house.

"As good as it's gonna get considerin' we made it through with our balls still intact," Abraham told him.

"We got to get the injured inside. Ani, do you think you could help out? We need as many hands as we can get right now."

"Yeah, I can do that," Ani responded before turning to Daryl. "Go get Phia and send 'er down. She needs ta learn crisis management as well ta be a good doc some day."

"Alright," he told her, though he grabbed her arm and stopped her for a minute. "You doin' alright, baby girl?"

"We didn' get 'im," was all she said. "He was right there and we didn' get 'im."

"We will. Ain't that what you've been sayin'."

"Yeah, but 'e was right there."

"I know," he said, giving her a kiss on the forehead before the pair went inside, Daryl heading upstairs while Ani got to work with some of the injured.

It took the better part of the night to tend to the wounded and clear out the bodies, all of the doctors running around trying to ensure everyone was treated. While Sophia and Ani helped inside by cleaning cuts, bandaging the wounded, and making obscene amounts of poultice to use to keep infection at bay, Daryl was outside helping to clear the dead. The prisoners had been put back in their pen, though not before Ani had the chance to punch Gregory again for his asinine comments about not belonging in there. As she had put it, if he didn't belong in there, he wouldn't be, and as no one in the Hilltop had let him out, he was going to stay in there until Ani and Maggie told him otherwise. Ani had, however, asked why Alden was still in the pen, along with a couple of the other Saviors that had knowledge they could use to build up the defenses if Negan decided to attack again. She'd then asked how Maggie was even still standing when she was ready to hit the sack and stay there for a couple days straight, only to be told that Maggie wasn't fairing any better. Hearing that, Ani told Enid how to make the tea she'd once made on the farm all that time ago to help Maggie rest before heading outside to talk to the rest of their original group.

"We don't have the resources to fight off another attack," Maggie told them as Enid walked up with a cup for her. "Be ready to go."

Enid readily agreed before Ani spotted Daryl walking towards one of the cars being moved and headed towards him with a yawn. He wasted no time in grabbing her as soon as she was close enough and bringing her under his arm as she leaned into him and sighed. They were both exhausted and in need of some rest after the long night and morning, but they knew it would be another couple days before they could really relax. They had their dead to bury, the Saviors to bury, the injured to look after, and the clean-up from the battle in general. Some of the people were walking around picking up the weapons that had been discarded while a few others were outside the gate taking care of the walkers that had accrued from the gunfire. Others were bustling around trying to get some more tents set up as well as mending some of the trailers from wayward bullet holes and Maggie was helping Diane hand out water. All in all, things were getting put back together rather quickly even though they were all pretty certain that they'd be doing it all over again within a few days. It made Ani give Daryl a small smile as he started leading her back to the house, intending to at least make her sit down for a little while. They both stopped, however, when they saw Tara climbing out of one of the cars with her arm in a sling. Both Dixons were still pissed that they couldn't get Negan the night before and that even Dwight, the sleazeball that he was, had gotten away. They both felt guilty, too, for being unable to keep Tara from getting injured when they had both been trying like crazy to shoot him down.

"Hey," Daryl called out. "You shouldn't be out here."

"Ya need ta rest ya shoulda," Ani agreed.

"It's just—it's just a scratch," she denied. "Besides, Beth fixed it up really well. I can help."

"What if it wasn't?" Daryl asked.

"Then it'd be my own damn fault," Tara told them. "He's back with them because of me."

"No, he's back with 'em 'cause that's who he is," Daryl replied.

"He's a piece a shite, Tara. Ain' ya fault the bastard has no loyalties ta anyone."

"We—we got lucky. Finding Maggie...Rick...you," Tara said, pointedly looking at Ani. "It could've been different. It was for me, when I was with the Governor."

"Yeah, but you weren't one of them," he argued, Ani nodding with his assessment.

"But I was with them. Your brother, too."

"My brother?" Daryl asked. "Merle ran the wrong way his whole life 'til he found out someone else had it worse, was runnin' from worse," he told her, his arm around Ani's shoulders squeezing her just a bit tighter to him as she looked down, knowing she still felt ashamed that both he and Merle knew so much about her past. "If things had been any different, if we'd've never met Ania, if he didn't learn what she went through, we'd be with the Saviors, too, or some other group just like 'em. But I'd have figured out who they were, just like you did. Merle might've, too."

"Maybe that's what happened with Dwight," Tara argued, Ani practically growling in response.

"The bastard killed Denny, and now ya defendin' 'im?"

"She's right. Or is that all square now?"

"It is," Tara told them. "Look, I might hate him forever, but he saved my life."

"No, he tried to kill you last night," Daryl countered.

"And even if 'e didn', savin' ya life don' make up for fuckin' killin' Denise! Don' make up for what 'e did ta Daryl!"

"When we were in the woods," Tara said calmly, even though the two in front of her were angry, "when we were coming here, I saw him try to help us win."

"Yeah, I saw what I saw too," Daryl told her before pulling Ani with him as he walked away.

They were both seething when Merle walked up to them, offering them each a turnip, "'Bout the only damn thing left. Gonna go huntin' in a bit with Abe and Sasha. See if we can't bag a buck or two to drag back."

"Sounds good," Ani said. "Let us grab our bows and we'll go, too."

"Hell no," Merle countered. "You got a bun in the oven and a kid about to go postal. And you gotta stick around to make sure she don't be stupid and work herself to death. We got this."

"The more people out huntin', the longer this place stays standin'," Daryl tried to reason.

"We got it covered," Merle insisted. "The two a ya stick 'round here and help out with what's goin' on. We'll be back by nightfall or shortly thereafter."

"Fine," Daryl relented after seeing Ani yawn again.

"Thank ya for tellin' us," she told Merle, knowing that he was just worried about them and usually sent someone else to inform them when he was leaving.

"Oh, shut up," he replied.

"I got ta go talk ta Phia," Ani admitted, looking up at Daryl. "I kind a got a little short with 'er before the attack, and even though I told 'er I wasn' angry, I think I still hurt 'er."

"Ain't like you."

"I dealt with Enid bein' jealous a Phia and Carl gettin' tagetha-"

"What are we doin' about that?" he asked her, looking towards the lookout post where the young boy was.

"Nothin'," she laughed, though the look on her face softened as she looked up at him. "They're fourteen-ish. Might as well let 'em be. 'Sides, it ain' like 'e's a rando we don' know. We've helped raise the boy, too. And damn ya for distractin' me with ya dad question! What was I sayin'?"

"Somethin' 'bout Enid," he scoffed.

"Right! Dealt with Enid bein' jealous a them and got 'er realizin' she ain' so bad off and got 'er on the right direction. But then Phia goes and gets jealous a how Carol's treatin' Henry!" she told him with a sigh, pulling away from him enough to put one hand on her hip and the other holding her hair out of her face. "And it's not like I blame the girl, but she eitha needs ta let it go or learn ta live with it without it gettin' the best a 'er. It's only goin' ta hurt 'er the more she expects somethin' out a Carol that she jus' ain' goin' ta get. I know exactly how she feels, 'cause I went through it myself. Took foreva for me to jus' accept that some kids jus' don' get ta be loved by the people they're born ta. I don' want it ta take 'er that long, and I don' want it ta keep holdin' 'er back. She's got all 'er life ahead a 'er, ya know? I don' want 'er dwellin' on the should a, would a, could a's. But every time I tell 'er, it jus' goes in one ear and out the otha."

"Like you said, she's fourteen-ish," Daryl told her. "Ain't gonna listen 'less it's easy. Hell, I know I didn't. And Merle was already goin' to juvie by that time."

"Yeah," Ani drew out, "I was workin' on my first degree. I didn' really do much rebellion."

"You're kiddin', right?" Daryl teased with a smirk. "Weren't you pick-pocketin' cops and assholes? Stealin' cars? Drinkin' whiskey and 'shine and settin' barns on fire?"

"Well, yeah, but it wasn' like I had an adult in my life I was rebellin' against. I was jus' bein' a dumbass," she laughed. "I really got ta go talk ta Phia. What're ya goin' ta be up ta while I'm doin' that?"

"Still got a lot that needs doin' around here. I'll be in in a bit."

"Alright," she said as Daryl turned to walk away before she pulled him back. "D..."

"What? Got somethin' to add after arson?"

"Ya, I love ya," Ani told him, leaning up and kissing him gently on the lips.

"Love you, too," he responded when she leaned back, capturing her lips once again.

The giddy smile she had on her face when he pulled away was all he needed to see after the night they'd had before he walked away. Ani couldn't help but to stare at his back for a moment before heading into the house, thinking about how she was going to get through to Sophia. The first time she'd talked to the girl, she was met with a lot of tears at what Carol had to say about her conception and birth. That conversation had been met with even more anger towards Carol than Sophia had already been feeling about the situation after how her mother had been acting at the prison. The second time, when she'd tried to explain what post traumatic stress syndrome was and how Carol was dealing with it, Sophia had claimed not to care. It had been plain as day on the girl's face that she was lying and that she was worried about her mother, but pride, anger, and pain had kept her from admitting it. This would be the third time she talked to her, and if it didn't stick this time around, if Ani couldn't get Sophia to resolve her anger, she knew she would have to leave it alone and simply be the mother the girl needed. It wasn't as if the anger she felt at her own mother's reasons for hurting her as a child had magically disappeared or ever even would. Sometimes the anger just wouldn't go away no matter what anyone tried to do to assuage it and the person just had to learn to live with it, like both Merle and Abraham had, like she was learning to. Ani just hoped that Sophia wouldn't be one to have to live like that, too, as she walked into the house and saw Sophia heading upstairs. Ani followed her as the girl simply went into the room she and Daryl had been given to use, sitting down on the bed when Ani came in. Ani couldn't help but scoff at the way she was scowling with her arms folded across her chest, shaking her head at the young teen because she was sitting exactly how Ani did when she was being told something she didn't want to hear, usually from Daryl or Merle. Pulling out the small desk chair and sitting down on it backwards facing Sophia, she waited a moment to give Sophia a chance to speak first, only having to wait a couple more seconds before the girl sighed and began talking.

"Why does she have to constantly pick other kids?! I was right there and she didn't say a single damn thing to me, but was gushin' over that...that...that boy! Why doesn't she care about me?" she yelled, getting off the bed and pacing.

"She does care, Phia. It may not be the way ya want 'er ta, but she cared 'nough ta know she wasn' any good for ya. Cared 'nough ta let me take ya. And ya know damn well I care 'bout ya. So does Merle, so does Daryl. We all love ya ta pieces," she told the girl. "Ya know, I know how ya feel."

"How could you?! Your mother didn't abandon you!" Sophia said in anger, causing Ani to hiss in a breath.

"I'm goin' ta give ya a second ta think 'bout what ya jus' said ta me," she replied in a low voice, doing her best to remember she was here to talk to Sophia about her, not berate her for something said in anger.

Sophia looked at her angrily before realization dawned on her face and the girl started tearing up, "I'm sorry. I didn't...I didn't mean it."

"I know. That's why I told ya ta think 'bout it 'stead a blowin' a gasket. Ya angry, I get it. That don' mean ya goin' ta take it out on me, ya undastand?" Ani asked Sophia harshly, the girl bowing her head in shame but nodding nonetheless. "Ya need ta take it out, tell Beth and have 'er spar with ya. Or Merle. Or teach some more moves ta Carl. Gods know 'e needs it," she said, both of them sharing a laugh at Carl's expense. "I do know how ya feelin'. Only difference is I knew my momma didn' like me from the get go. But I always asked myself, 'why?' Why wasn' I 'nough? Why wasn' I loved? Why didn' they care 'bout me? Why was it me? Why, why, why?" Ani told her. "That ain' healthy. It ain' any healthia than holdin' onta all a that anga. Ya don' got ta forgive Carol for what she's done ta ya, and it's okay ta be angry that it happened. But it ain' ya fault. There ain' a damn thing ya could a done different. Ain' a damn thing ya could a done ta make 'er different."

"But it ain' fair! She's my mom!"

"Is she, though? Do ya still think she's ya momma? 'Cause ya don' got ta see 'er that way. Ya can jus' see her as Carol, an acquaintance ya met when the world went ta shite. Ain' like ya don' got a momma jus' 'cause Carol ain' able ta be ya's."

"But I don't. Not when she doesn't even want to say I'm her daughter," Sophia pouted, Ani putting her best offended face on and her hands crossed over her heart.

"What the fuck am I?" she asked incredulously. "Chopped liva? What 'bout Daryl? Merle? I know damn well Merle's been callin' me ya momma for a while, and have I eva once corrected 'im?"

"Well, no."

"Phia, it don' matta what blood does when ya find people that want ta be ya family and want ya as family. And 'cause a that, ya don' got ta forgive or forget what Carol's done ta ya. But ya got ta stop blamin' yaself. Ya got ta let go a that anga, or else ya goin' ta blow up like Sasha did afta Bob, like Abraham has several times, like I have before. When I was ya age, I was always angry, always blamin' myself for what happened at home, 'fore I left for college. Like Daryl jus' teased me 'bout, I was drinkin', smokin' weed, stealin' cars, stealin' wallets, all 'round the time I started workin' with the station. I was constantly lashin' out and actin' out 'cause I was so fuckin' angry. I damn near got caught so many times 'til I realized what happened wasn' my fault. Jus' like it ain' ya fault. Thing is, it's both Carol's fault and not 'er fault. If it were the old days, she could a gotten some help for 'er mind, gone ta therapy, got on meds, done somethin' if she was able ta leave Ed, but that's a big if. She was traumatized, and it takes a lot ta be able ta crawl out a that dark hole."

"You, Daryl, and Merle did."

"Yeah, well, I'm a special case, it took D 'til the end a the world ta, and Merle...Who knows what would a happened with 'im if Chrys hadn' been in Woodbury usin' my life's story as a joke," Ani said with a dark expression before it softened again. "Carol didn' want ya ta have that life. She didn' think she was good 'nough for ya afta I came 'round and started trainin' ya ta be what she should a been, raisin' ya betta than she could. And I think that's a part a why she's so fixated on Henry. A part a 'er sees Henry as a do ova. Ya both blonde, and 'e's 'bout the same age as ya were when this all started, 'fore I came 'round. I think...I think she sees 'im and somethin' in 'er wants ta do for 'im what I did for ya, what she couldn' do for ya."

"But that's not fair. Why can she do it for him but not me?"

"'Cause ya have me doin' it for ya," Ani told her gently. "I mean, aside from blood, do ya really think a Carol as ya momma? Who comes ta mind when ya think 'bout ya family?"

Sophia thought about it for a moment before sheepishly saying with a smile, "You, Pops, and Daryl."

"Do ya really think we don' think a ya as family?"

"No."

"Then do ya still think ya don' got a family that cares 'bout ya and loves ya ta death?"

"No," she said while looking down, her smile growing.

"So, don' look at it like she abandoned ya. She gave ya up ta a betta life, a betta family, people that could make ya stronga, people who'll keep ya strong and safe. She might be able ta do that now for a kid, but she made sure ya had the people that could do it when ya needed it. She don' got ta be ya mom. 'Sides that, ya nothin' like Carol anymore. Hell, if ya like, ya could start callin' yaself a Dixon, 'cause ya are one through and through. Ya been through the ringa and come out a fuckin' warrior woman. Jus' think 'bout it, okay? Ya don' even got ta talk ta Carol nah more if ya don' want ta, but ya got ta find a way ta move past the anga."

"How did you move past it?"

"I haven'. Bein' honest, I don' think I'll eva not be angry when I think 'bout it and 'er bullshite excuses. At least Carol ain' doin' that. She knows what she's done wasn' right and she knows she fucked up with ya. My momma...fuck, she tried sayin' the only reason I'm alive now is 'cause they beat the shite out a me and worse. Tried sayin' she should a let Chrys be worse ta me, not fuckin' held 'er back, and that would a kept 'er alive. It pisses me right the fuck off 'cause I fought tooth and nail ta get where I am, ta be what I am, and she wants ta take that from me? Fuck nah! I want ta forgive 'er. I'm tryin' ta. I jus' want ta move past all the anga and pain and sorrow, and I'm tryin' ta."

"Why? Why do you want to forgive your mom when she hurt you? Why should I forgive mine?"

"Ah, there's the beautiful thing 'bout forgiveness. It ain' 'bout sayin', 'I'm bein' the bigga person and lettin' bygones be bygones.'"

"It's not?"

"Nah. Sweetie, ya don' forgive someone for their peace a mind. Ya do it for ya own. Ya do it so ya can move on with ya life with ya head held high knowin' that ya ain' lettin' the past hold ya back. It don' mean ya got ta forget. It don' mean ya got ta give anotha chance. It don' mean ya got ta talk ta 'er eva again, got ta live with 'er, got ta listen ta 'er. Ya forgive for ya sake. Ya don' forgive jus' 'cause ya feel obligated ta do so. Ya do it 'cause ya ready ta move on with ya life and leave it in the past."

"How can I do that if you can't even do it?"

"I said I'm tryin' ta," Ani corrected. "Ain' goin' ta or got ta happen ovanight. Could happen ova or afta years. Ya don' got ta do it right this second. Ya jus' got ta learn not ta let ya anga take control a ya. Can ya do that for me?"

"I'll try."