Forks. -
Alice put the bags down, Jasper was still sleeping, she had gone back to the house to get him fresh clothes, and the things Alec had brought, he would want the chain and the keychain back.
Seeing him sleeping was still such a captivating sight, she had seen him sleeping before, but this time around there was no pain in his expression, he looked completely at peace, a soft innocent look on his face.
She went over to him, sitting at his side and checking the bandages to make sure he hadn't hurt himself in his sleep, when she was sure he was fine her attention went back to his face, her fingers brushing away the stray strands from his face, he looked so much better like this, with no pain, no anxiety.
Peaceful.
He shifted in his sleep, mumbling something in Spanish about stars, eyes fluttering open, just a tiny bit, he still looked extremely exhausted.
Alice caressed his cheek.
-Go back to sleep, I'm right here.- She assured, her voice gentle. Her answer was him reaching out to grab her, pulling her, the unexpected action kept her from reacting in time, she toppled over him, wincing as she did, but he didn't even flinch.
She tried to get up, not wanting to aggravate his injuries, but he didn't let her, his arms like an unyielding force holding her in place.
-Jazz, your injuries.- She tried, using her hands and mattress beneath them to at least not put much weight on him.
-No.- He mumbled, nuzzling her neck.
-What do you mean no? You are hurt, I can't lay on top of you, if you want to hug me we can do it some other way, but not like this, you are just gonna aggravate your injuries.
Her words went ignored and she sighed, God could be stubborn, still, he was hurt and he was acting unusually clingy, thus, she let it happen, making sure to never put much weight on him.
Laying on top of him was nice, it felt like the world could be ending and no place would be safer than this, it felt warm and comfortable, like the coziest place on Earth, and it filled her with dozens of butterflies.
She cherished this moment, taking in a deep breath and nuzzling his neck, this before pressing a kiss on his jaw, he was asleep again, she knew this over his lack of reaction.
She stared at his face, and she couldn't help but be reminded of the kiss, that kiss at the beach had been exhilarating, like a wonderful bomb of warmth and butterflies going off, fireworks.
Would there be more kisses? Or had it been something of the moment? He had seemed rather happy with kissing her, and she had liked kissing him, she hoped there were more.
But she wouldn't force him either if that's not what he wanted, if he just had been curious… it would sting, but at least she had him as… whatever this between them was, not a couple, but not friends either.
Something more in between.
Whatever it was she could live her entire life with it, she wouldn't mind, she loved the hugs, the cuddles, the touches, the hand holding, the intense stares, the Eskimo kisses, she loved every single moment she spent around him.
She could live without kissing him or… crossing that step, that last thought she shut it down immediately, that was not something to be thinking about, much less right now, it was embarrassing enough he had felt her lust when he had kissed her neck.
She hadn't meant to, but there were things just out of her control, having him kissing her like that out of nowhere hadn't let her mentally prepare, she had been unable to keep herself in control.
Thank God he was such a gentleman and hadn't mentioned it nor kept kissing, she would have died if he had. She loved him dearly, and she would do anything for him, but she didn't think she wanted to take that step so soon, their relationship still held a lot of things to be sorted out, and whether she liked it or not.
She didn't knew much of him on a personal level.
So, that step would have to wait, Jasper seemed rather content with their current relationship, so she didn't had to worry much about him getting funny ideas.
And even if he did Alice knew he wouldn't do anything if she so much said so, he was her southern gentleman, she had never met someone so respectful, she found him quite endearing at times. His old fashioned mannerisms making him quite the attraction whenever she got him to go to public places with her.
It was amusing how he could get so much attention from people of all ages just because he opened a door for a female, would offer his help to old ladies or those poor mothers dealing with her children all alone, pregnant ladies, ladies with a stroller and too many bags, or that time he had comforted a crying little girl that had gotten lost at the mall.
He was so kind and just so good natured it was hard to not love him, every time she saw him offering his help, comforting children, every time she found herself smiling and wondering how had she nailed such wonderful man.
And she knew, that were Rosalie to meet him and get to know him, she would know Jasper was no threat, he had two great attributes that Alice knew would get him to fall in Rosalie's good grace in a blink.
He was a gentleman with women and he was extremely soft with kids.
Rosalie wouldn't be able to keep on disliking him.
Edward… that one would be trickier, but Alice had hopes for that one, nothing would make her happier than two of her favorite people getting along.
If Edward were less dense life would be so much easier. She sighed, resting her head on Jasper's shoulder, she wondered when would be a good time to introduce Jasper to the Cullens, face to face, with him in his right mind and no injuries.
But handling the Volturi was also primordial, if she got Jasper to meet the Cullens… would it be easier to get them to want to protect Jasper if she got them to interact with him? Get attached to him, see him as one of them, not just as "Alice's mate", she didn't want that nor did she like much that title in that context.
He had a name, he was a person, and he was amazing. He wasn't just her mate nor some responsibility they needed to take on to protect her, she wanted them to protect him and stand up for him because of him, not because of her.
Still.
At the time that's all she was gonna get, she just would need to wait and hope.
~
-Oh, those look nice.- Alice complimented as Jasper stepped out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but Edward's once upon a time jeans, she had made him take a bath after he had woken up, had bought enough essential oils to make him smell just like her, he looked more alive than he's done in a while.
-They feel funny.- Jasper says, resisting the urge to tug at the pants, that wouldn't be proper infront of a lady, but God, they were so not comfortable, Alice had called them jeans, had been Edward's, he did not like these pants.
-Are they uncomfortable?- Alice questions, she had gone out on a limb here, Jasper was taller and more built than Edward, but he was still a whole lot leaner than Emmett, though to be fair everyone was leaner than Emmett.
Still.
The point stood, Edward was a toothpick compared to Jasper, no muscle whatsoever, not that she would ever think that around him, God knows that with his inferiority complex he would definitely not like the comparison.
Much less when he had left more than clear his dislike of Jasper, Alice felt like more than dislike he was feeling threatened by Jasper, Edward liked to see himself as the protector of the family.
He considered himself the strongest and fastest, Alice had to differ on that, Emmett was the strongest, and she could very much kick Edward and Emmett's ass in a heartbeat.
Still.
The point stood, he had a most terrible complex regarding how he was the protector of the family, but he knew perfectly well that he was no match for Jasper, not really.
Jasper was older than him by a lot, both in vampire years and in human years, his skills were above average and so was his experience in fighting.
So of course he would feel threatened by Jasper, which there was honestly no reason for, Jasper meant no harm nor would he suddenly take over or whatever overdramatic fantasies Edward was imagining. It was stupid.
-It feels like somethin' will tear if I make the wrong move.- Jasper muttered, more like the pants would tear if he so much as sneezed.
Good thing was that vampires didn't sneeze.
-I brought some others, these are from Emmett.- Alice said, pulling out some black cargo pants, she personally found them hideous, but she couldn't be picky, she would have the chance to dress him much more nicely.
Not that she would have much to do considering Jasper did had good taste for clothes, she knows this for the simple fact that she's made him choose some clothes at the stores and he never fails to surprise her with his choices on what to wear, he had a great sense of fashion.
Definitely her soulmate.
-Those are hideous.- Jasper blurted out, Alice grimaced.
-I know, but at least it's got lots of pockets.
-Good point.
Jasper disappeared into the bathroom once again and she waited for him.
A few moments later he came back out holding the waistband of the pants with a sour look.
-It's too big.
-Those come with a drawstring.- Alice said, and at his confused look she approached, grabbing the strings in questions.- These are the drawstrings.- She told, stretching them out for him to see.- You draw them together so the waistband adjusts to your waist, when you think it's at the right size, you tie them up.- Alice explained, making a little bow as she tied the drawstrings.
-That's… useful.- Jasper conceded, he didn't watch TV nor had he spent much time outside of Volterra, so lots of things he still found new and foreign.
At times it made him feel quite idiotic, he knows Alice's noticed those odd moments where he doesn't know something, but she's never pointed it out nor made fun of him for that.
In fact.
Much like now, she always explains it to him, no questions, no jokes, she just gives him the knowledge without much of a fuss, as if she's talking about the weather, he finds it… comforting.
-I know, right?- Alice steps back, cargo pants are hideous, she wasn't gonna discuss that, but somehow, Jasper managed to look amazing in them. He had a nice body, she wasn't gonna fake obliviousness on that.
Her attention fell on his wounds, he had removed the bandage earlier.
His injuries didn't look as worse as before, meant he was starting to heal, good.
-Come on, sit down, I will redress your wounds, in the meantime, have this.- Alice told, handing him the blood bag she had stolen earlier, he needed all the strength to heal faster.
-I can redress 'em myself.- Jasper said, taking the transfusion bag with a quizzical look, he knew what a transfusion bag was, but how was she expecting him to drink it?
-You need to feed, I can redress them, it's no bother and I want to help, alright?- Alice refuted, grabbing the IV tube and holding it out for him when she noticed the silent confusion on his face as he kept staring at the bag.
-But-
-Jazz, really, I don't mind, let me help you, yes?- Jasper held Alice's gaze for a moment, she seemed rather honest about wanting to help him, and she didn't seem much different from yesterday.
Thus.
He nodded.
Drinking blood from a bag he found… unsettling, he could taste it all, even the fact that this blood was taken over five months ago, he could tell even more from the taste, a talent he had developed while in Volterra.
O negative, female, Irish, Scottish, 25 years old, healthy, unusually so, most humans he's ever tasted always had some kind of medical condition or addiction.
To taste someone with no health issues or addictions was quite rare.
Meanwhile, Alice knelt between Jasper's legs, checking the wounds and putting some gauzes on the worst ones before starting to wrap the bandage around his torso, not too loose, but not too tight, just like she had seen Carlisle do.
She was extra careful with the bullet wound, she had no idea how had he gotten shot, but that was the deepest wound, he had lost a lot of venom because of it.
Carlisle had said he might feel much more tired and weak than usual because of it, but at least he was better now, all that was left was for the vervain to leave his system completely.
Once she was done with the bandage she put on the safety pins.
-There, all done.- She said, looking up at him, he was staring at her intensely.
And then he did the unthinkable.
He offered her what was left of the blood.
Human blood.
-That's… no thank you, you need it more than I do.- She told as a statement of fact, but even if she said that she couldn't help but wonder what in the name of France was he doing, she knew how much he loved human blood, she knew how volatile he could become if he felt like someone was taking his food.
So why?
Why was he offering her blood so easily?
-Just a sip then?- His request did nothing but make her frown, where was this coming from? She wasn't sure, but he didn't seem like he was hiding some ulterior motive or whatever.
All she could see in his gaze was genuine care, was he aiming to thank her through sharing his food? But he didn't have to thank her, she was doing this on her own volition because she loved him and because she cared about him.
But he looked so expectant she couldn't bring herself to refuse a second time, it wasn't as if she couldn't take a sip, no human was gonna die for it, also… she had to admit she's been craving it for a while, just a small taste, she took huge pride on her control, and she liked this diet, this peaceful life.
But ever since she smelt Bella's blood at the house of mirrors she had been quite unable to keep that little voice quiet, Carlisle had no idea how that felt, Rosalie, Esme…
To crave for that wonderful taste, none of them had ever tasted human blood, none of them understood the urge for human blood after spending decades on animal blood.
Still.
While she would never change this diet for nothing, it didn't meant she couldn't cheat, just this time.
Thus.
She took a sip, the second it hit her tongue the second she felt her hairs stand on end, a shiver running down her spine, holy- holy shit, Jesus, God, Zeus, Thor-
Alice had to bite her tongue to keep herself from dawning it all, she couldn't drink much, if she did, people would notice, deep breaths, deep breaths.
She felt a wave of calm fall upon her, warm and cozy enough to push down her blazing and dangerously rising desire for more.
-I apologize, that wasn't respectful. You shouldn't have had to drink if you didn't wanna.- Jasper's sudden voice caught her attention and she looked up at him.
-What? No, I did it on my own volition, I just… it's been a while since I have had human blood, sometimes I get cravings, sometimes it's easier to ignore than others.- Alice confessed, because she was proud of her control, but sometimes human blood was just harder to ignore.
Sometimes she could walk unfazed at the hospital Carlisle worked at with people bleeding all over and other times she couldn't even stand a paper cut.
She had good days, and bad days.
Any vampire who's ever tasted human blood and had switched to the vegetarian diet knew the feeling.
-It was still not right.- Jasper told, Alice gave him a look.
-Finish that up, I will see what I can find that fits with cargo pants.- Alice told instead, deciding to just let him win this one, she had a feeling she would have to hear his apologies for the following hours if she kept attempting to get him to not blame himself.
It wasn't as if he pointed a gun at her head, she could have refused, but she didn't, so what if she didn't refuse? She took nothing but a sip, no one would ever know, humans had cheat days, she could have a cheat day too, cheat moment?
She left his side to go rummage into the bags for a good shirt that would fit with cargo pants, there was a hoodie from Emmett he had insisted on her passing on to Jasper, a hoodie that turns out he bought the second she had told them about Jasper.
He had wore it left and right under another hoodie to leave his scent on it.
Alice still had no idea what to do with that fact, nor what to think of the hoodie, it was beige…
With a black picture, as in a shadow, of a cowboy riding a dinosaur… and with an amazing text below as said by Emmett.
"Prehistoric Cowboy"
She wasn't gonna lie, it was hilarious, she decided on that one before turning to look at Jasper, he had finished the blood already, and he was staring at her, he didn't react to being caught staring.
That was new.
-Here, put this on.- She told, handing him the hoodie, he inspected it with a quizzical look, turning it around, she didn't miss the way his lips twitched as he caught sight of the design on the front.
-Prehistoric cowboy?- He questions, looking up at her with amusement written on his face.
-Emmett's idea. He actually bought it for you, thought it would be funny. Do you like it?- Alice asked. Jasper frowned, the giant had bought this for him? Why? They weren't friends, they didn't even knew each other, so why waste his money on someone he didn't knew?
It was… strange.
But he did like it.
-I do.- He conceded, this before putting it on, much like all the clothes he's been wearing since he left Volterra it was oversized, but he didn't mind.
It was better oversized than undersized.
-Oh, right, I also got something.- Alice remembered, reaching into her pocket and pulling out what Alec had brought.- Alec brought these.- She told, showing to him the chain and the keychain.
Jasper stared at her hand.
And stared.
-Alec knows?- He questioned after a moment, looking up at her with a stiff expression.
-I think, I mean, he didn't seem quite sure, but he was also the one who told me that you'd been poisoned by werewolf venom, or well, not directly, he didn't speak much, he just kept saying basil and putting emphasis on the chain.
-He knows.- Jasper repeated, feeling fear starting to creep in, Alec knows, Alec knows, if Alec knew it was a matter of time before Aro knew, and then-
-Jazz.- Alice's voice cut through his rising panic, her hand touching his cheek.- It's alright, Aro doesn't know, I'm not sure of the reason, but Alec hasn't told Aro, and he doesn't seem to be planning to. I think… I think he does care about you, in his own way.
Because that's the only explanation Alice could come up with, Alec, somehow, in his own weird way, cared about Jasper, just enough to not tell Aro where he was.
Meanwhile, Jasper could do nothing but frown, Alec? Caring about him? Never in a thousand years. They weren't friends, they were just acquaintances with similar hobbies, that was it.
For all he knew Alec was just doing it to have Jasper owe him a favor, I mean, the kid wasn't that bad, but he wasn't much nice either. Their relationship was at best strained and somewhat twisted, strained because he could never be in the same room as Alec, alone or without loud distractions because then he would have a complete meltdown.
And twisted because both of them could interact just fine, play videogames together, when Alec was his torturer.
It was a strange relationship indeed.
And still…
He was grateful, whatever motives Alec had to do something as dangerous as keeping important information from Aro, he was grateful, and he hoped it didn't have a due date, though he wasn't stupid.
Good things never lasted, he would have to be extra careful, and keep an eye around the Cullen's territory, and an eye out for Alice.
He needed to make sure nothing would come from behind and catch him off guard.
He would never forgive himself if he let Alice be hurt.
~
-What's this from?- Alice asked curiously, she was laying on the bed with Jasper, their legs tangled in a mess of limbs, she was fiddling with the bronze chain.
-Sort of a heirloom, I guess, my father gave it to me, and his father gave it to him, I was told it went around seven generations back.- Jasper told, he had taken great care of this chain, had made sure to never lose it, it had felt like the world was coming down on him when he first realized he had left it at Volterra.
He never took it off, but last time he was at Volterra he hadn't been quite in his right mind, and he had taken it off because he didn't like the feeling of the metal against his skin.
But it was now back to him.
Alec brought it back.
And he wasn't sure how to feel about that.
He felt Alice's bubbling surprise, wonder, she was the first person he's ever let touch it, he didn't trust vampires, the newborns had been volatile in the South, María never paid much mind to it and the Volturi had tried to get him to get rid of it because it wasn't "fashionable" enough.
He had also not trusted nomads, nomads would steal whatever of worth they could see, all so they could sell it and get money, vampires didn't even need money!
A human around 2001 had found it after he had lost it, the damn thing had broke, thing was the human had been impossible, had refused to give it back and when Jasper proved it to be his the man tried to offer him absurd amounts of money for it, what the hell had he seen on such simple chain?
Jasper had no idea nor did he care, he had made sure to teach that human a lesson on not attempting to harass others into giving him things that weren't his.
-It looks nice.- Alice complimented, she looked up at him, their gazes meeting, she held his stare for a moment, her hand coming to rest on his cheek, her thumb stroking his skin.- Can I ask something?- Her voice comes out like a whisper, she feels nervous over what she is aiming to ask.
Nervous over the potential rejection.
-Sure.
-Can I kiss you?
Silence.
He's staring at her with an indecipherable look, and his hand which had been running up and down her back had stopped. Did she ask too much? Had it been an impulse at the beach then? She hadn't gotten to ask him much about that. With him being tired, then the Volturi coming and then the werewolf venom acting up.
She wanted to know what had drove him to kiss her, an impulse? Curiosity? Something else?
And right when she was starting to entertain the idea of apologizing he gave her an answer.
He didn't even speak.
He just broke the distance between them, pressing their lips together into a kiss, a kiss much more deeper than the one at the beach, filled with thousands of emotions and several butterflies, she kissed him back with the same intensity, wishing to transmit every single ounce of her love for him through it.
For him to know just how much she loved him, that he wasn't alone, would never be so again, she accepted and loved him with flaws and all.
She felt his hand rest on her waist, a hesitant touch, the feeling of his tender lips against hers' making a warm buzzing feeling bloom in her chest, her fingers gripping his shirt.
It was a slow kiss, soft, exploring, somewhat tentative, it made her feel… giddy.
Excited.
Because he was kissing her again.
And Alice could do nothing but melt and let herself enjoy the moment.
Meanwhile, Jasper felt… there were lots of emotions buzzing in his chest; nerves, eagerness, confidence, apprehension, excitement, giddiness, relief, and something much more intense that he couldn't quite describe.
He was hesitant, he did admit Alice's question had caught him off guard, he wasn't sure what would lead her to want to kiss him, but he didn't had much objection.
He was also curious to know how would it feel like to kiss her again, and much like before, the feeling of her soft lips against his filled him with such warmth, it filled his stomach with tingling sensations, all those wonderful feelings spreading all over.
His hand resting on her waist, he brought her closer to him, he didn't touch her more than that, kept his kissing innocent enough, he didn't felt comfortable with the idea of more nor did he want her to feel uncomfortable.
All he wanted was to kiss her, to engrave into his mind this beautiful feeling, he could feel her emotions tickling his skin; giddiness, excitement, happiness, love.
It was like the coziest and warmest hug in the world, a tsunami of absolute light and all that was wonderful about the world.
Her fingers traveled to his cheeks, her soft touch caressing the scars along his jawline, he still couldn't understand how could someone so gentle exist.
Vampires didn't need to breathe, and Alice's emotions never changed, she seemed rather content with kissing him, and Jasper shared the sentiment.
But all things must come to end.
And so their kiss broke, not much, their lips brushing against each other's, their stares holding.
Jasper reached out to brush her cheek with the back of his hand. His gaze softening, something about that spark in his eyes making Alice's heart almost start beating again.
-I don't know why I feel this way, I don't know many things, but I do know you mean a lot to me, and I… I want to ask if you feel the same about me. I mean, you say you love me, you say you know who I am and that you're alright with it, but… do you really love me? Or do you love the version of me you got from your visions? What might have been, what could be… is that the version you love?
Jasper knew he might not like the answer, but he needed answers regarding this between them, he needed to know if he should keep on this, it would be nice, to not ask for such answer, to just live in oblivion and act as if all was perfect.
But he knew that at the end, it would hurt a thousand times worse if he let himself fall completely into whatever this was just for her to turn her back on him because he wasn't what she expected, because her little fairytale ended up becoming a horror story, because she couldn't deal with it anymore.
Alice for her side frowned at Jasper's odd question, though she could see what would lead him to ask such a thing, Edward had implied that more than once, that she didn't love Jasper, that she was just in love with the "what could have been", with watching him, she knew nothing about him.
She just fell in love with the perfect version she built up in her mind.
But that couldn't be far from the truth, she loved Jasper, all about him, she loved him when he was in a sour mood same as she loved him when he was doing questionable things, she loved him when he was bad, and she loved him when he was good.
Of course she knew he wasn't perfect, he did awful things in the past, she wasn't holding him on a pedestal, but she understood his reasons and she knew he felt remorse over those things, he was struggling to be better, every single day, he fought to be good, to redeem himself.
His determination was one of the many things that had made her fall in love with him.
She touched his face, a smile playing on her lips.
-I love you, I love the Jasper who helps hurt animals and lost children, the gentleman who helps women and holds doors open for them. I love the Jasper who makes adorable grimaces when deer's blood is involved.
She couldn't help but grin at his scowl over being called 'adorable'.
-That is the Jasper that I love. You have nothing to be afraid of, I love you. I will never leave you, nor will I hurt you, I will do my everything to protect you, and be there for you, I know you aren't perfect, I know it might get hard at times, but I do love you, and because I love you, I want to be there for you, even when things get hard, I will always be there for you, I will never give up on you.
-...
Jasper could feel a knot at the back of his throat at Alice's words, her emotions were so overwhelming, like a tsunami of absolute love, light, beauty.
He felt… happiness.
Such obliterating happiness.
And warmth.
Her words were honest, genuine, true.
And that… he had no idea what to do with that, he still couldn't understand why did she love him, no matter the reasons she gave, he couldn't understand, how someone this beautiful and wonderful could exist.
And love him.
She said she wanted to protect him? That was such an odd concept, he wasn't protected, that's not how it worked, he was the protector, he was the one who did the protecting, I mean, Peter did cover his back in the past, but that didn't count, he was just doing it out needing to do so so things wouldn't go wrong.
But this… he had no idea what to do with that of Alice wanting to protect him. The sole idea of it…
He didn't knew why, but it filled him with a strange warmness.
She was the first person ever who said such words to him, to have such genuine feelings for him… he had no idea the reason for it, but he hoped those never disappeared, he wanted to keep her, to stay with her forever, to bask in her wonderful emotions, to hear her voice, see her smiles, he wanted to be there.
And the sole fact that she was willing to let him do just that… it filled with thousands of emotions, buzzing, warm, overwhelming.
And he could do nothing but pull her into a tight hug, letting his gift free, wanting her to feel what he couldn't speak out loud, because no words could ever describe what he was feeling right now, he felt the spark of surprise in her emotions.
The understanding, the obliterating joy, felt her arms wrap around him, he held her as close as possible, their legs tangled in a comfortable mess, he felt her lips press a kiss against his throat, and he was rather surprised to find it didn't felt as unnerving as it would have with others.
To have a vampire's mouth on his neck and trust it enough to allow it, not even María ever got to be anywhere near his neck, he could never trust her to not bite.
But Alice didn't bite, she just left her lips pressed against his throat.
And he's never been happier.
Meanwhile, Alice could do nothing but hold onto Jasper, her lips pressed against his throat in a silent kiss, her chest felt like it would explode, her throat burning and venomous tears burning her eyes, because she could feel it.
He didn't said a word, but his emotions were all over the place, wrapping around her like the coziest and warmest blanket in the world, a warmth that threatened to burn her from the inside out in the best possible way.
Love.
That's what she could feel.
Love, joy, gratefulness, trust
He loved her, she had felt like there was more to this between them, that he might like her, but she could have never expected that her love would be reciprocated with this kind of might.
He was quiet, but his emotions were loud, deafening.
And that's all Alice needed to know what this between them was. What it could be.
She clung to him, kissing his throat and gripping the front of his shirt, and she's never felt happier, safer.
Like for once in her life things were turning out much more better than she anticipated.