Al Goreism Vice President Al Gore causes utter mayhem by insisting that ManBearPig exists! Basically a rant episode against how the Simpsons portrays Al Gore as extremely dull and boring.
PlotThe school is having an assembly with a guest speaker. Vice President Al Gore.
Everyone except the nerds and Lisa is chatting loudly or fighting.
"Attention everyone! Attention!" said Skinner. They wouldn't listen. Bart was beating up Uter for some reason. "Will you shut up!?"
There was stunned silence.
"Ahem. Thank you." said Skinner as he adjusted his tie. "Today we have a special guest. The Vice President!"
"Dick Cheney?" Bart asks.
"No! The Vice President!" said Skinner.
"Bill Clinton?" Ralph asked.
"No, Clinton's Vice President!" said Skinner.
Everyone was confused. Skinner sighed.
"Here to talk about global warming is Al Gore." said Principal Skinner. Everyone clapped half heartedly.
Al Gore put on a slideshow of global warming and droned on and on in monotone. Also he hates people messing with time and causing paradoxes.
"Borrrrrriiiiing!" Oscar groaned loudly and zapped Al Gore so he acts like he does in South Park.
"Actually I'm not here to talk about global warming! I'm here to talk about ManBearPig!" He put on a red cape and switched the slideshow over to another with a picture of a monster that was supposed to be this ManBearPig.
"ManBearPig?!" Milhouse asked Bart.
Bart shrugged his shoulders and held his palms facing up as if to say "I dunno!"
Al Gore continues talking about ManBearPig.
Skinner face palmed and called for security.
"ManBearPig is real! I'm super cereal!" yelled Al Gore as he was dragged away. "Excelsior!"
Lisa buried her head in her hands.
Bart grimaced at Al Gore's madness.
Oscar smirked with a wide grin.
...
The clothes store.
Bart is bored and holding his magic wand from when he attends Springwarts. Springfield Elementary trying time be a wizardry and witchcraft school ie an obvious spoof of Hogwarts...
"Oscar, Oz..." Bart called Oscar. "It's time to go..."
Oscar arrived with a trolly full of copies of his iconic blue sweater with green triangles.
"Oz! What the?!" Bart yelled.
"I like blue, I like sweaters. So I bought a dozen of them." said Oscar.
Bart winced exasperated.
"Hey, Wizard Boy." Nelson teased him.
"Nelson you attend Springwarts too. Some how..." said Bart.
"Well um... you're a butt!" Nelson couldn't find a retort.
Bart rolled his eyes.
"I got something for you Bart." Oscar bought him a sappy outfit.
"I am not wearing that..." Bart seethed annoyed.
"But it looks cuuuuuute on you!" Oscar cooed.
"Oz boys don't not find each other cute!" Bart yelled.
"Haw Haw! You're gay!" Nelson laughed.
Suddenly Al Gore bursted in.
"ManBearPig! Excelsior!"
Bart, Nelson and Oscar winced.
"Don't you usually warn us about looking after the lame environment?" Nelson was baffled.
"The ManBearPig is the greatest threat to the environment now! Yes even more than pollution somehow!" said Al Gore.
Homer pulled up.
"Boys get away from the ex Vice President." said Homer. Or future Vice President I dunno.
"Dad you just drove through the kids clothes store." Bart sighed. Homer had left a trail of wreckage and knocked over clothes racks and smashed through the store window attempting to park inside the store...
"D'oh!" Homer groaned.
...
That evening over dinner.
"Mom, why is Mr Al Gore being so crazy lately?" Lisa asked.
"Hmmmm! Lisa the Vice President is having some issues right now." Marge sighed.
"Basically he's a fruit loop..." said Bart.
"I remember when he was a robot and would answer in monotone and listen to Celebration time, come on! on repeat." said Homer imagining how Al Gore used to be.
Al Gore was in his office when someone came in to explain someone had took out one of his books from a library to read. "Sir! Someone took out your book on the environment!" said a clerk.
"Well this calls for a celebration!" said Al Gore in monotone. He put on a record that played the song Celebration! "I think I will!"
"At least Sheogorath, the Daedra prince of madness showed some emotion when rejoicing..." said Oscar.
Sheogorath in his throne room received some good news. "Wonderful! Time for a celebration! Cheese for everyone!" He rewarded everyone with cheese. It rained down from the sky in big wheels of cheese. People throughout Shivering Isles fled from the falling wheels of cheese in terror.
"Sir, I for one am lactose intolerant..." said Haskell.
"Oh well! Cheese for no one! It can just be as fun if you don't like cheese?" Sheogorath replied smiling as he called off his rain of cheese.
"Ooooooooh!" Pinky from Pinky and the Brain whines.
"Yeah but now Al Gore is a screwball. That's what Lisa is getting at." said Homer.
"Sheogorath is a screwball though..." said Oscar.
"Everyone just eat your dinner. This will blow over soon. Like when that crazy lady who goes through our bins left to go on holiday." said Marge.
"Yeah sure Marge..." said Homer.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Marge asked frowning.
The Simpsons and Oscar were eating.
Bart eating incensed Oscar for some reason.
"Balae nic no dalley!" Oscar yelled in gibberish.
"No Oz, no gibberish tonight. I beg you." said Marge.
"Sorry lady." said Oscar eating.
He continues eating. Bart is being silly with a salad leaf in his mouth.
"Kero Geru gighghhghhhskkkkk ooooooo!" Oscar yelled in gibberish.
"That's it Oscar! Get the hell outta here!" Homer yelled.
Oscar got up from the table to leave. "Kallae kistnae... galahoooooo nyeh!" He glared at Bart.
Bart winced.
"Um Oz..." Lisa was baffled.
"Kalalahoohoo! Sabayooooo!" said Oscar. He got right in Bart's face scaring him.
"GERUUUUUUU!" He screamed flipping the bird at Bart. He stormed off.
...
One afternoon Bart was hanging outside the cinema when Al Gore was in the bushes calling him over.
"Sorry Mr Al Gore but I don't speak to strange men hiding in the bushes." Bart replied.
"I have a very important quest for you young man! It's super cereal!" Al Gore replied.
"What is it..." Bart sighed.
"I need you to spread the word that ManBearPig is real!" said Al Gore. "Here take this sign and wave it about warning people of ManBearPig!"
"No way! You're completely insane!" Bart ran away.
"I'm super cereal! Excelsior!" Al Gore flew off somewhere.
Elsewhere.
Ace, Oscar and Jurkle were going to eat somewhere. Ace being a viscount of Transylvania was paying.
"Hey bro, what do you want to eat?" Ace asked them.
"The souls of the innocent!" Dark Oscar controlling Oscar yelled in a demonic manner.
Ace winced.
"A bagel." said Jurkle because he is Jewish.
"What?l Dark Oscar asked.
"Two bagels!" said Jurkle.
"No!" yelled Dark Oscar.
"Hey Oz don't yell. If Jurkle wants bagels you have to respect his choice." said Ace.
"Hey that wasn't "Me" me. That was the evil "Me."" said Oscar.
"All will die!" Dark Oscar yelled.
Flame was glum.
"What's up with Flame Magmarashi?" Ace asked.
"Oh people are calling him insane because he likes fire." said Oscar.
Oscar comforts Flame. "Don't let people tell you your attraction to fire is "abnormal" or "hazardous". Prometheus doesn't have his liver eaten every day for you to ignore the allure of arson."
Ace winced. "Don't encourage him Oz..."
Flame smiled. "You need at least TWO episodes of intentional fire setting to diagonose pyromania. Everyone gets one freebie. Use it wisely." He said to Oscar.
"My leprechaun likes starting fires." said Ralph Wiggum.
Oscar winced.
His friends were talking about lunch again.
"18 dollars for salmon on a bagel? This better be life changing salmon." Jurkle, the Jewish kid with glasses sighed.
"If you think about it from the salmon's perspective, it was." said Oscar snarking.
"Mmmmmmm... salmon..." said Oscar's living teddy bear creature, Teddy.
...
Bart explained his encounter with Al Gore.
"Also I just learned today that three times three is nine." said Bart at dinner.
His family and Oscar sweat drop and have anime style face faults.
"You don't say..." Lisa groaned.
"I'm an idiot..." Bart sighed.
Everyone sits in silence.
Bart frowned.
"If you're waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day." said Lisa.
The family decided to ask for a town meeting to discuss Al Gore's behaviour.
"Before we get an infestation of weird celebrities again..." Bart sighed.
The town held another meeting.
"People of Springfield! We are here to discuss the behaviour of our beloved yet insane Vice President!" said Mayor Quimby.
"Dick Cheney?" Homer asked.
"No! Our Vice President!" said Mayor Quimby.
"Bill Clinton?" Cleatus asked.
"No. Clinton's Vice President." said Mayor Quimby.
Everyone was confused.
"Al Gore! Do you people actually watch the news?!" Quimby sighed.
"Politics is boring..." Homer whined.
People chatted.
"People we should all blame Oscar for being moronic and causing Al Gore to act like a loony!" Bart stood up.
"Hey shut up! And he was being boring! I like South Park Al Gore better! He's funny!" Oscar yelled.
Bart and Oscar bickered.
"You are such an idiot!"
But Al Gore interrupted the town meeting with his security guards.
"ManBearPig is real! I'm super cereal!" said Al Gore.
"Make way for the ex Vice President! Make way!" said the bodyguards.
"Why are you people helping him, when it's clear Mr Al Gore is clearly not well?" Lisa asked the security guards.
"We serve the Vice President only. We are not liberty to answer questions." said the security guard.
"Keep away from the Vice President!" said another security guard.
Everyone grumbled like Marge.
Plot 2One afternoon at recess the kids were playing marbles when Al Gore turned up dressed as ManBearPig.
"Rawr! I'm ManBearPig!" said Al Gore.
"Oh for the love of!" Bart face palmed.
Oscar winced.
"Sir, what is Mr Al Gore doing?!" Ace asked Principal Skinner exasperated.
"Sounds like he's going on about this um... ManBearPig..." said Jurkle.
"Boys, there's no such thing as a ManBearPig. The vice president is just desperate for attention." said Principal Skinner.
Al Gore in his ManBearPig costume started scaring the children so Principal Skinner got them inside and called the police to remove Al Gore from the campus.
Al Gore was then arrested and incarcerated in the mental hospital with all the other celebrities. However his security team broke him out and during the chaos other celebrities escaped as well.
Springfield was soon over run by mad celebrities and their bizarre antics. Such as Samuel L Jackson who thinks he is still in his films, Meatloaf interrupting everyone's meatloaf dinners to sing and Orson Welles stealing Mrs Pell's fishsticks.
The Simpsons were at home dealing with the Noid ruining their pizza dinner.
(The Noid laughing and running about.)
"Homer we have to do something! These celebrities and Al Gore are ruining the town!" Marge begged.
"See this is why I left South Park, Colorado! Everyone is stupid there!" Oscar sighed.
Homer then kills the Noid by breaking his neck.
Bart, Lisa and Hugo winced at the sight of Dad snapping the Noid's neck.
Bart and Lisa then sniped at each other again like they always do.
"Fine, I admit it, I ate the rest of your pizza. What do you want?" Bart sighed.
"A new brother." said Lisa coldly.
Bart rolled his eyes.
"I can find a candidate for that..." said Oscar. "He's in the at-"
Homer growled at him.
"Homer can you throw the Noid's corpse outside... we're eating..." Marge sighed.
...
Al Gore holds a town meeting with the mad celebrities.
"We are all here because no one will take us cerealsy!" said Al Gore.
"They ate me! A mother(Censor) shark ate me!" yelled Samuel L Jackson.
Meatloaf sang.
"Like a bat out of Hell, I'll be gone when the morning comes."
"Meatloaf stop singing!" George Bush Sr told him off.
"Never!" said Meatloaf.
Orson Welles took the stage. "Gentlemen it's quite simple we shall take over world. And its supply of Rosebud frozen peas and Mrs Pell's fishsticks!"
"Narf!" said Pinky.
"Um we're hear to warn everyone about ManBearPig..." said Al Gore.
"Um okay..." said Tom Cruise.
"Red Buttons, standing by." said the comedian and actor Red Buttons.
Teddy, Oscar's living teddy bear creature grimaced through his oversized buck teeth
The next day the celebrities took over Springfield bolstered by Al Gore's security guards and Orson Welles as Unicron.
Bart got a Bartarang with a message.
"Dear Bart, can't use Bart signal during the day. Town overrun by crazy celebrities! (And reverse vampires)"
Bart rolled his eyes.
Bartman arrived in town.
"Okay guys, break it up and go back to your mansions..." Bartman sighed.
"A costumed superhero! I hate costumed heroes!" Yelled Orson Welles. "Destroy him!"
"Eep!" Bartman ran away as the celebrities chased him.
He was chased by mad celebrities like Orson Welles, Al Gore, Spike Lee, Mr T etc.
He ran home and knocked frantically.
"I HAVE A GUN!" Oscar warned the visitor.
"No Oz. It's me, Bart! Let me in!" said Bart.
Oscar fiddling with the mortice bolts and chains. He opens the door looking very cheerful. "Oh hi Bart!"
Bart ran in.
...
Oscar is playing basketball ball with the boys from South Park. Cartman is hogging the ball and whining whenever Kyle successfully tackles him.
"Cartman stop hogging the ball you fatass!" Stan yelled.
"Ay! I ain't fat! I'm big boned!" Cartman yelled. He was dribbling the ball. "Now this is a Kobe Bryant thing I'm about to do!" He explained as he was preparing to do a manoeuvre.
Suddenly a news helicopter crash landed on him crushing him to death.
"Oh my god! That helicopter killed Cartman!" yelled Stan.
"You bas- Oh sweet! Finally!" Kyle celebrated. "But why a helicopter..."
"Because that's what killed Kobe..." said Oscar telling the future.
"Oscar that's not funny. Don't make light of that!" said Kyle.
"Food!" said a monster going through the bins. However the monster was clearly Al Gore in a cheap home made costume.
"It's not really a ManBearPig boys! It's just me Al Gore!" said Al Gore dressed as ManBearPig.
"Yes we know Mr Al Gore." said the boys.
"Mr Al Gore what are you doing here?!" Stan asked.
"I am hear to warn you about ManBearPig! A terrifying monster! Half man, half bear and half pig!" said Al Gore.
"You can't have three halves doofus..." Stan sighed.
"Aw... you ruined the best part of bears by giving him a pig snout! Bears should have big wet shiny black noses to sniff you with!" said Oscar being crazy. He pooped several ass burgers onto the basketball court tarmac.
"Oz don't be silly..." Kyle sighed.
"Hey look! Oz pooped out some hamburgers!" said Stan.
"I know. He has Aspergers. That's how our creators Matt and Trey portray it in our universe that Aspies poop hamburgers." said Kyle.
"Wanna try some?" Oscar grinned offering them his ass burgers.
"Eeeeew! No! Oz those came from your butt..." Stan groaned in disgust.
"This is serious children! ManBearPig is real! I'm super cereal!" said Al Gore.
"What kind? Lucky charms? Frosties?" Oscar asked.
"Now you're just being silly child! Excelsior!" Al Gore yelled and left.
"Oscar don't encourage him..." Kyle from South Park groaned.
...
Oscar gave Teddy a present.
Teddy the teddy bear creature is holding a box. "You promise you didn't get me bees again?"
Oscar, from a distance: "Just open it!"
Cartman arrived alive and well.
"Aaaaagh! Fat turd! Why are you alive again?!
"Because I'm a main character and secondly I am not fat! I'm big boned!" said Cartman.
A swarm of angry bees flew out of Teddy's present and he ran around screaming as the bees attacked him.
"Look just get out of my sight before I have you vaporised." Oscar snapped at Cartman.
Cartman left while doing double middle fingers at Oscar.
Oscar sighed.
"There you are Oz! Come on it's nit safe out here now there's mad celebrities reeking havoc!" said Lisa arriving with Bart.
Donald Sutherland screamed like the monster from Invasion of the Body Snatchers at them.
"There's a great dinosaur-themed restaurant in Springfield fast food district. It's called Jurassic Fork. I have gone there three times a week for the past fifteen years." said Oscar.
Bart winced.
"Oz no one cares..." said Bart.
Bart, Oscar and Lisa went to the Kwik e Mart.
"Hello Simpson children! What can I get you today?" said Apu.
"Um... one blue raspberry Squishee Apu." said Bart.
"You should get a pice of fruit too Bart. You never eat any." Lisa was being bossy.
Bart sighed.
"You do sell fruit, Apu?" Lisa asked. In a later episode they explain he only had one mouldy banana which was why everyone was shopping at a health store.
"I have bananas and grapes... Hey! Stop helping yourself to my grapes!" Apu yelled as a man looking at him with a smug grin was eating the grapes. "Get out!" Apu smacked him with a broom until he left.
Bart and Lisa winced.
"Um... and I'll have this banana..." said Bart baffled by the silly man eating the grapes.
Apu made Bart a Squishee. "And you Lisa?"
"Nothing today Apu. But I have to ask as this is urgent. Have you seen any mad celebrities lately?" Lisa replied before asking about the insane celebrities.
"Well James Woods wants to work for me to help get in character for a movie he is doing. You'd have to be crazy to work here on 96 hour shifts!" said Apu.
James Woods was there.
"Hey there. James Woods here. Also I'm Hades, lord of the underworld." said James Woods.
Oscar laughed hysterically.
Bart hastily paid for his Squishee and banana and the three kids left.
...
Outside the Kwik e mart, Bart was eating a banana.
"Excelsior!" yelled Al Gore being stupid and wearing a red cape.
Bart groaned.
Rosie O'Donelle was singing! Aaaaagh!
"Clang! Clang! Goes the trolley!"
Bart screamed and fled.
Then Tonya Harding was walking about holding a crowbar and patting it menacingly. She assaulted a fellow figure skater.
At church
"There must be something we can do!" Lisa lamented as they watched celebrities running about.
"What do they like other than attention?" Oscar asked.
"Red carpets, suing people, starring on reality shows together in a house or an island..." Bart lists the following things celebrities like to do.
"That's it!" Lisa had an idea.
"Hold on! Before we save the day. Where in the name of sanity is Bart?!" Marge asked.
"Oh Tom Cruise and L Ron Hubbard got him and took him to their freaky church. He seemed happy to go with them." said Oscar.
Bart was in the church of Scientology listening to L Ron Hubbard talk about insane crap involving Xenu and alien ghosts. Also it's funny because his voice actor is a Scientologist.
Chef was there too.
Kyle face palmed. Yeah he quit because you made fun of his silly religion.
L Ron said more stuff about Xenu.
"Eat my shorts Xenu..." said Bart rudely.
Everyone gasped.
"That's okay folks, we'll brainwash him later." said L Ron.
John Travolta as Danny Zuko was singing You better shape up.
Charles Manson considered joining them but even he found Scientology insane! Yes! Charles Manson of all people!
Plot 3The Simpsons reunited with Bart when they got home.
"Bart can you not go off gallivanting with Tom Cruise..." Lisa sighed.
"But I'm a Scientologist in real life..." Bart groaned.
"You believe an alien with possibly a few millennia more advanced technology invented life..." said Oscar.
"Yep..." said Bart.
"That's ridiculous! Even the Christians concept of a God making everything makes more sense!"
"Well an all powerful God can do anything. Even create the universe. I doubt any little green space men can do that, no matter how advanced." said Ned. "Wait! I don't believe in little green space men!"
"ManBearPig! Everyone beware of ManBearPig!" Al Gore was warning everyone.
The Simpsons winced.
"That poor man..." Marge sighed.
"I think he's been brainwashed by an evil cult. Like Bart has." said Oscar.
"SHUT UP! Scientology is not an evil cult!" Bart snapped.
"Bart I didn't change your diapers for five years for you to join a cult..." Marge frowned.
"It is not a cult! And Oz you're the one who zapped him to make him act stupid!" said Bart.
A false building was built over the mental hospital as a programme called House of Stars, a fly on the wall reality show watching celebrities live with each other. All the celebrities ran in.
"Me first!"
"No! I'm more famous!"
"In your dreams!"
The celebrities forced their way in. The police then locked then in before dismantling the facade. They were all safely locked away again.
"There. Er um. Let's never hope to have a repeat performance from our mad celebrities! We love you, but you're all insane!" said Quimby.
Everyone cheered.
"Excelsior! Oh Ice skating Jesus! Now it's just me!" said Al Gore.
Everyone groaned.
"Al Gore awaaaay!" Al Gore fled.
...
While the whole town tried to apprehend Al Gore they had to deal thing some of the Simpsons being a bit annoying.
"Jebediah Springfield is a thuggish pirate called Hans Sprungfield!" Lisa was decrying famous historical figures like a liberal and demanding their statues removed.
"We're still murderously angry after Bart vandalised the statue! Get her!" Mr Burns yelled.
Lisa gulped and fled.
"Stop blindly worshipping your heroes!" She yelled.
Al Gore hid in the Cave of Winds.
He muttered about trying to prove ManBearPig existed.
Oscar broke away from the angry mob and visited Milhouse.
Oscar was in his porch dressed as a clown with a big red shiny round nose.
He rang the bell.
Milhouse answered and saw he was dressed as a clown.
"Hi." said Oscar as a clown.
Milhouse screamed and slammed the door shut.
"Wait! I thought you liked clowns!" Oscar cried.
"No! I'm scared of them!" Milhouse cried.
Oscar rolled his eyes.
Lisa tried to stop the crowd converging on her by doing crucifix gestures at them.
This only affected Ace, who is a vampire. He hissed and shied away.
Lisa tried to explain that Jebediah or Hans was evil.
Hollis the museum owner pointed at her and screamed like the monsters from Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
"Narrator no! That's ridiculous!" Lisa sighed.
Donald Sutherland voices him though!
Then the mad celebrities got out because Bill Cosby blasted a hole in the wall of the asylum with a pudding laser cannon.
"Zip Zop zoopity bop!"
...
The angry mob surrounded Lisa and were about to converge on her when they heard...
"I'm king of the world!" James Cameron yelled. The mad celebrities were back!
"Oh fudge!" Quimby sighed.
"And Iiiiiiiii eeeeeee Iiiiiiii will always love yoooooooouuuu!" Whitney Houston sang.
"Ms Houston we have a problem." said a director.
Oscar laughed.
"Yeah we've heard that joke a million times already Oz..." Bart groaned.
"Yes?" Whitney Houston asked.
"We are doing a scene where you kiss Kevin Kostner." said a director.
"I ain't kissing no white man!" said Whitney Houston.
"That's racist Ms Houston!" Oscar yelled.