The gates rumbled open and revealed a wide path leading up to a luxurious mansion. On either side of the path, on plush green grass, were rows and rows of… kitchen sets? Countertops with sinks, nestled next to giant spit roasters.

Quince's heart surged with hope. Cooking? Are we going to cook? I'm great at cooking! Wait, what if they make us hunt monsters and prepare them to be, like, not poisonous? I don't know the anatomy of monsters!

As the large group of applicants made their way down the path, two people were spotted sitting in front of the mansion. One was a lot easier to spot than the other. What the fuck…?

Quince couldn't help but drop his jaw the closer they got. There was a woman, skimpily dressed and beautiful. But behind her sat a man who had to be at least ten feet tall and half as wide, stomach protruding from his bright yellow shirt. He was a giant! How could someone grow to be so damn big? He must have a lot of trouble finding clothes that fit. Maybe that's why he's not wearing shoes.

"Welcome!" greeted the beautiful woman with a bright smile. Shit, I might have a thing for girls with turquoise hair… "I'm Menchi, examiner of the second phase."

"And I am Buhara, also an examiner," the large man announced.

A long silence followed, long enough that Quince was wondering if they were expected to introduce themselves as well. Was it a test? Then, a great, creaky rumble erupted from the direction of the examiners.

"Hungry, then?" Menchi murmured to her co-examiner.

"Starving!" Buhara practically sobbed.

Oh god, please let us cook, please let this be easy! Please be cooking, please be easy!

"You heard it, folks! Phase Two shall involve… cooking!" Menchi announced, standing tall and commanding the audience with suspense. Quince quietly cheered to himself, pumping a fist, as almost every other applicant mumbled in confusion.

"Cooking? Is this a joke? We're here for the hunter exam," someone grumbled.

Quince felt the disparity between the examiners and the examinees instantly. He didn't understand why they were complaining about an easy sounding task, but he had a feeling he was about to hear a lot of misogyny.

"Of course, and your challenge will be to create a meal that pleases us," Menchi explained.

"Why cooking, though?!"

"Because, we are Gourmet Hunters!" she announced proudly.

Huh. He hadn't known hunters could specialise in something like that. I wonder what classifies as a Gourmet Hunter. Is it just someone who cooks for a living and also has a Hunter's licence? Or are there actual requirements?

Immediately, cruel laughter erupted from the crowd. Quince felt his heart sink. They couldn't truly be laughing at the people who decide whether or not they pass! Were they stupid?! He watched as Menchi went from proud and happy, to annoyed. Shit! Do something before she turns this phase into a suicide run instead!

"Menchi-sama! Please continue!" Quince called out, awkward and drowned out by the laughter. She seemed to hear it though, and placed her hands on her hips as she spoke again.

"Buhara, tell them what they're making," she snapped.

Great. She's pissed. Buhara then stood up, appearing even larger than Quince had first thought.

"The required ingredient is pork," he announced.

"Pork? As in, pig meat?" someone asked, verbalising Quince's thoughts.

"Yes. You're welcome to use any species of pig found within Biska Forest. You must use the cooking facilities here to prepare your dish. You will only pass if both of us find the meal to be delicious."

Okay. Hunting wild pigs. That shouldn't be too hard. Still dangerous and unpleasant, but not impossible.

"Don't forget that we will be judging on more than just taste. There are many intricacies when it comes to cooking. Also, once we are full, the exam will end, even if there are dishes that have not been judged. Keep that in mind."

Shit, so the faster, the better? But not necessarily… Crap, it's gonna take ages to find a pig and kill it. Preparing it and making a meal out of it will be at least an hour, probably two or more. Not to mention it's gotta be safe to eat, taste good, look good and smell good. Wow, it's like I'm on a cooking show!

"Whatever, let's just get on with it already," someone snipped.

Quince felt his own anger boiling, imagining being in Menchi's place. The last examiner had not been treated like this at all. It was definitely because of her gender, and gender roles associated with cooking.

"Then, the Second Phase has begun!" Buhara announced, comically smacking his stomach like a gong.

Everyone immediately rushed back to the entrance, but Quince wanted to take stock first. He stepped off the path and out of the way of the crowd, running to one of the kitchen sets.

Knives! Beautiful kitchen knives to replace the one he lost in the swamp! Now he had a weapon to kill a pig with. He took a carving knife and fork, setting them aside to take when he left, then set his bag down against the counter. It would only slow him down, though there was the chance of another applicant stealing it.

There was a large bowl full of fruit and vegetables. Onions, carrots, tomatoes… he could definitely use those in some sort of thick sauce, though there wasn't any stock, milk or tomato sauce to help that along. Lettuce, capsicums, cucumbers, they'd be good for a salad, maybe even the oranges too. Salt and pepper, thank God.

The spit roaster was big, more than big enough for an entire pig. The sink had running water, both hot and cold. Under the counter there was a large, metal serving platter with a fancy dome lid, a large scale, several roasting pans and a box full of coal.

There was no oil or butter, though. So, cooking raw… there was nothing he could do about that. He'd just have to be careful not to burn anything, and see if he could catch some of the dripping fat when the pig was roasting.

He'd roast the pig and catch as much fat as he could, then use a roasting tray over a low flame to cook the vegetables in the fat, then add sliced pork back into that and let it simmer. Then he'd make the side salad and serve it. It was the perfect plan.

He snatched up the knife and fork and started jogging towards the gates where, surprisingly, his friends were waiting.

"Took you long enough. What were you doing?" Leorio asked.

"Checking out the kitchen. Good to know what we're working with and make a plan. Though it's pointless without a pig," he answered and they began making their way into the forest behind the mansion.

"You know how to cook, huh?" the man murmured.

"Of course," Quince responded. "Don't you?" Leorio was certainly old enough that he should know how to cook.

"Well, of course I know how to cook! Cooking is easy," Leorio spat, dismissively enough to make Quince wonder if he was lying. Maybe he had a wife that took care of that stuff.

"Is that so? To be honest, I can't say I know a lot about it," Kurapika admitted. Huh. Well, she did look pretty young, and it's hard to get into without the right motivation or resources.

"Me neither," Gon piped up. Definitely young enough to excuse.

"Mah, who cares as long as it's cooked. They're not expecting a five-star meal," Killua shrugged, hands in his pockets.

"I guess. Still, there's important rules when it comes to cooking."

"Like what?" Gon asked.

"Like… pork - especially from pigs we're hunting in the wild - needs to be cooked properly. If it's even slightly undercooked, there'll be bugs and bacteria in the meat that'll make you sick."

"What, seriously?" Leorio choked.

"Really? I hadn't considered something like that," Kurapika hummed in thought. "So different kinds of meats require different methods of cooking."

"Yeah, beef is probably the safest undercooked meat to eat, and chicken is definitely the worst."

"Wow, you know so much, Quince!" Gon gushed.

"Um, yeah, sort of. I honestly didn't think this kind of information would help me at a time like this. This phase seems a lot easier than the last. I wonder if there's a catch…"

"I was thinking that too," Killua said, looking interested for the first time since Quince had met him.

"Hm. It's possible," Kurapika started. "Cooking isn't nearly as strenuous as running and fighting. Perhaps this is only one of multiple parts to this phase?"

"Damn, I thought they were giving us a break," Leorio grouched, and Quince agreed.

His gut told him it was too good to be true, but he still wanted to hope. He thought about what could possibly happen in a deathly cooking competition.

"Maybe we'll have to cook again, but fight for ingredients? Or maybe they'll make us eat our own meals. I've seen that happen on an amateur cooking show before," he rambled to the group.

"I've got an iron stomach, so I'll be fine," Killua said, nonchalantly.

"You don't sound too confident in your cooking skills," Quince chuckled.

"Whatever, I'll just overcook it to be sure," the boy said dismissively.

They continued talking as they delved deeper into the forest. Clearly, rushing at the start hadn't given anyone any advantage, as many applicants littered the clearings, calling out for little piggies. Quince even witnessed one man trying to oink.

Minutes passed and no one seemed to have found one. Perhaps that was the real challenge. Are there even pigs out here? There had to be, that was the test. Though it was possible that the forest was a controlled environment. Maybe a few dozen were released into the forest, moments before their arrival, ensuring only a certain number of applicants even got to attempt the cooking challenge.

After approximately half an hour, people started shouting. Upset, terrified shouting. Oh god, this is just like the marsh. Please no more monsters!

Surely the applicants would have stayed back, if they hadn't all been waiting so long with nothing happening. Instead, everyone within hearing range bolted towards the sound, including Quince's group.

Rumbling upon arrival, enormous pink creatures burst from the dense foliage and trampled everything in their path, knocking down trees and all sorts as they chased two unfortunate applicants.

"Shit!" Leorio cried, diving out of the way. Their group narrowly escaped the edge of the stampede as more and more people came to see the commotion.

"They're… pigs," Gon murmured, and Quince finally realised why everyone else seemed so excited. This was what they'd been looking for.

"Wow. They're really big!" Killua commented.

And they were. Perhaps eight feet tall and almost just as wide, the creatures were exceptionally round, with stumpy legs and gigantic noses.

"We're… supposed to kill one of those? How are we gonna do that if they travel in packs and run like rhinos?" Quince complained, suddenly losing faith in his ability.

Without hesitation, his friends ran after nearby pigs, leaving Quince in their dust. He watched, frozen, as the four of them attacked the creatures from all sides.

Gon brandished his fishing rod and struck one in the side, only for him to be knocked away by the pig's snout as turn to see him. Killua aimed for another and tried to take it head on, only to have to dodge at the last second. Kurapika observed as Leorio ran through the herd, knife bradished but unable to leave a single scratch on a pig's nose.

Then, she lept, wooden swords in hand and drove them into the pig's forehead that hid behind the tip of its nose. It instantly dropped to the ground with a thunderous crash. The rest of the herd screeched and began fleeing in fear.

"Leorio! Gon! The forehead is the weak spot!" she shouted to them, but loud enough that strangers heard as well.

"Thanks, Kurapika!" Gon called as he slammed his fishing rod into the head of a pig.

Before long, Killua and Leorio had secured themselves a pig each, and Quince was the only one of the group still gawking. Then they were approaching, each carrying or dragging along an entire, enormous pig. Quince, dazed and fearful, slowly approached the four of them.

They killed such large and aggressive animals, just like that. No hesitation, not even five minutes after encountering the things. And they're not even hurt? What the hell?

"Ne, Quince, did you get one?" Gon asked as Quince caught up to them.

"Um, no, I… Not yet."

"Make sure to aim for their forehead," he advised cheerfully.

"Right, thanks, I just- Hey, do we really need an entire pig each? They're massive! The judges aren't going to eat them all," Quince asked. They could easily share a pig between their entire group. Getting one each was excessive.

"I dunno, the big guy probably will," Leorio said, looking between the others. They too didn't seem bothered by taking one each.

"Maybe a few whole ones, but over a hundred? No way. And they never have more than a mouthful on cooking shows," Quince pointed out.

"This isn't television. No one's going to share with you," Killua snapped, pulling ahead of the group.

"I wasn't- Okay, fine. I was just trying to be practical." Quince murmured, starting to stress.

I really have to kill one? By myself?

"I see your point, but I think it would be best if we each have more than we need and avoid any infighting over parts." Kurapika advised.

"Yeah, I guess. You guys go ahead, I'll catch up in a bit," Quince said, feigning confidence in his abilities.

"Good luck!" Gon called.

With that, they began hauling their kills back to the kitchens, leaving Quince alone and nervous.

It's not murder. No worse than killing a bug. He reassured himself. He was plenty capable of killing one of those beasts. All they had was size, strength, and speed… Well, they had a weak spot, and that's all the advantage he needed. He gripped his weapons tight and jogged towards the commotion in the distance until he saw the herd again.

Quince chased the raging stampede in the distance, hoping to snag one before they were all taken. Luck was on his side when the group scattered. A man dove into the herd and drop-kicked one in the head, the others diving out the way. One pig in particular turned around and began running in Quince's direction.

In a stroke of genius, Quince realised he had time to climb a nearby tree and quickly did so. As the pig ran by, Quince dove onto it, sinking his knife and fork into its thick, fleshy head, and graciously body-slammed onto its back. The creature howled a blood curdling scream that ravaged his ears. Quince felt himself sliding off as the world began to turn, before falling to the ground with a great thump.

His side aching, he quickly glanced up, expecting to see his pig speeding away with his weapons lodged into its head. Instead, he found the beast collapsed next to him. Out of breath and full of bitter pride, he wrenched the weapons out of its flesh. Blood poured onto the ground and sank into the dirt.

He had just killed an animal for maybe the third time in his life. This time, though, he didn't have the luxury of privacy to cry about it. I'm sorry, but it's you or me.

His next challenge was moving the pig. They were enormous and very heavy. He was eternally glad he left his bag behind, or else he'd have no chance at carrying his kill. Still, he moved terribly slowly as he dragged the pig back towards the park. He tried pushing from behind, rolling it, putting it on his back, but eventually settled on dragging it in a chokehold around the snout.

After being passed by dozens of men carrying their own pigs with ease, Quince finally arrived at the park entrance. Unexpectedly, his pre-claimed kitchen station was free, the surrounding stations claimed by his friends.

"Thanks for looking after my stuff!" he said, dropping his kill next to his bag.

"Took you a while. You good?" Leorio asked.

"Yeah, it's just heavy." Quince said, trying so hard to look nonchalant and unphased. Oh yeah, just a tad heavy, for sure. Definitely not the heaviest thing I've ever moved in my life.

It was then Quince took a moment to look at his friends' progression. Each of them had their pig - entirely whole - skewered on the pit roast. His jaw dropped in horror, and fell further still when he looked around. Every single person in sight had done the exact same thing.

"Oh... my god..." he breathed in disbelief.

"Is something wrong?" Kurapika asked, completely unaware of their foolishness.

"I... you- Not even- Oh my god," Quince was at a loss for words.

"What?" Leorio said.

"You guys don't know how to cook. No one here does," Quince pointed out, and came to a sudden realisation. "Holy shit. Am I the only person here who knows what they're doing?"

"What do you mean?" Killua asked in a serious tone.

"I mean... You can't just kill an animal and put it over a fire! That's not how hunting and cooking works!" Quince was rubbing his temples and trying to control himself. It was so absurd that none of them could figure out what to do, but he needed to stay calm and not judge them. This was an opportunity to be helpful.

"What else is there?" Kurapika asked as though there was no reason to believe they had done anything wrong.

"As a bare minimum you need to gut the animal, remove the head, legs, and probably the butt and tail as well. Those parts aren't exactly edible, and cooking the organs like that is going to make them burst and contaminate the meat," Quince explained.

"You said if you cook it properly, it kills the bacteria," Killua reminded, huffing as though Quince had lied.

"Yeah! But that's after you remove the organs! This is basic stuff, how does no one here know that?!"

"In that case, we should do what he says," Kurapika said after some consideration.

"Crap... Good thing you stopped us early on," Leorio murmured nervously, running a hand through his hair.

"Does that mean everyone else will fail?" Gon asked, looking about.

"Probably! I can't imagine passing someone based on their cooking if this is what they're doing," Quince said.

"Not anymore," Killua snarked. "You were too loud, everyone heard."

A quick glance around showed contestants murmuring and putting out their fires. Some were even trying to slice open their pigs' stomachs over the flames. Shit! I'm so stupid! We could have had such a big advantage!

"Shit."

"That is unfortunate, but we're grateful to have your help, Quince," Kurapika announced graciously as he attempted to put out his fire.

There was one advantage still to be kept. Most everyone's pigs were hot to the touch and would need to cool down before handling, whereas Quince had just arrived. At least, that's what Quince told himself before he noticed plenty of people ignoring the heat and gutting their pigs with gusto.

Fuck!

"Wow, Killua! How are you doing that?" Gon's voice called.

Quince looked over to see the pale boy slicing his pig with his bare hands, fingertips pointed and dripping with blood. What the fuck?

"Ah, just manipulating my hands is all. It's easier than using a knife," Killua said, as if he wasn't defying physics like a goddamn mutant.

"Cool!" Gon cheered.

Quince met eyes with Kurapika and Leorio, who reassured Quince of his sanity by looking just as bewildered and unsettled as him. He finally turned away, realising he was wasting time and he needn't be fazed by monsters and magic anymore. Hunters were a different breed, he needed to get used to it or he'd be left behind.

He quickly got to work, grabbing a carving knife and slicing the creature down the middle. As much as he hated it back then, Quince was grateful his father had taken him hunting once upon a time, and taught him how to prepare and cook small game. It had been a lifetime since then, but something must have stuck, as he confidently removed organs and excess from the enormous animal.

He scooped what he could into the nearby trash can, but his cooking area and his clothes were covered in blood and bits. It looked like a crime scene. The smell was disgusting, but he wouldn't let it phase him; not when his new friends were watching his efforts.

When he was confident that the organs were all out, he set to hacking off the legs, using his weight to break through the joints and sever them from the body. For a moment he considered if he was wasting the meat, but he didn't want to serve hoofs and didn't know much about the leg meat.

Next was the head. He struggled to find the neck vertebrae beneath the excessive layers of fat that hid all evidence that the creature had a neck at all. When he finally did, he felt his arms and legs grow heavy. Ignoring his body's complaints, he cut through the fat and hacked at the neck until it separated completely. His trash can was getting very full. He tried not to watch as he removed the butt area. Do not look at the pig genitals. Do NOT look!

After generously grinding salt and pepper all over the pig, it was finally ready to go on the spit. He quickly skewered it through, and pressed a button to spark the fire beneath. He used a metal scoop to add lots of coal, hoping to raise the heat briefly so he could burn off the pig hair.

He looked around to see how others were progressing, then realised everyone had worked far faster than him. People were already trying to remove their pig from the spit. His heart plummeted, his head suddenly felt light and his hands started to shake.

Shit!

He threw caution to the wind and immediately began slicing vegetables, not caring for good or even pieces. He haphazardly chucked them into the roasting dish sitting beneath the pig and subsequently splashed himself with boiling liquid fat.

"Fuck!" he cursed and slapped a hand over the burn on his arm.

There was no time to attend to such a minor injury, he needed to finish his dish as soon as possible! He dumped another load of coal under the grill to speed along the roasting, as his friends began discussing their near-finished meals.

"Wow, Killua! Yours is really red!" Gon noted.

"Yeah, looks cool, right?"

"You're really going to keep all that blood on the plate?" Leorio asked, eyeing the liquid spilling off the metal platter.

"I think we've all done our best. Let's go submit our dishes," Kurapika announced. "Quince? Are you done yet?" she asked, and their eyes all turned to him.

No! Not at fucking all!

"Yup, just a minute!" He called as he removed the scorching hot pork from the spit and dumped it onto the bench.

Fuck, the pork is cooked, right? Yes, gotta be. Make sure the vegetables don't burn, they'll only need a minute at that heat. They'll be edible, it's fine!

"Fuck!" He shrieked again, this time having burnt the palm of his hand on the metal spit.

"Are you okay over there?" Leorio called, metal platter in hand. The others had already lined up.

"Fine! Don't wait for me!" Quince yelled back, stressed and embarrassed to be seen in a panic.

He haphazardly sliced chunks of pork, burning his palms against its steaming skin. The chunks were sliced, and arranged like fallen dominos on the silver platter. Then he quickly removed the roasting pan from over the fire, the sleeve of his hoodie barely protecting him, and used random utensils to scoop them onto the platter.

It was a meal big enough for three. No special spices, no gravy, no marination. Just plain old panic and serve. It was fine, definitely edible, hopefully tasty.

Quince dropped everything and tried to shake the tremors of anxiety from his hands. He was done. Nothing more he could do now. He placed the dome covered on top and began approaching the line of contestants, when one of the examiners made an announcement.

"Listen up!" called the woman. "We're both full, and since no one has satisfied us, no one passes. We're done here!" she stated.

What?

"What?"

"Was that a joke?"

"She can't be serious."

The park filled with murmurs of confusion, but the woman seemed stoic and didn't explain further.

Quince suddenly felt weak, and slowly lowered the dish to the ground and sat back on his legs.

"I murdered an animal, burned my hands and had a mental breakdown… for nothing?" Quince muttered to himself, numbness fading and anger rising. "I ditched my life, abandoned my friends and family, risked everything to get here, ran for hours, almost died, multiple times… for nothing?!" Quince cried, voice rising with every reason, his face reddening with anger he could barely restrain.

He was seething, breathing harshly through his teeth, brows furrowed so hard it was going to give him a headache, as he looked around to find like minded people. Everyone was furious.

There they all stood. Hundreds of examinees, covered in dried blood and bits, exhausted and ready to drop. And every last one of them had just been failed.

Someone was going to pay.