Review Responses:
Ross Does Stories: True.
Sishwill: Heather is not a W but Tyler and Lindsay being turned into stone forever is based, I agree with you on that.
Derick Lindsey: I don't know man.
Epic Gwent hater: She's just gonna pick all the cringe people because she's cringe.
Guest:
Hi: Yeah okay.
TheMightyVoltar: L + Ratio + Didn't ask
"GRRRRRR I AM MEANN!" Courtney said as she walked up to Gwen and Duncan. "I WILL KILL YOU NOW BECAUSE I HATE GWUNCAN!"
"L + Ratio + Didn't ask" Gwen said coolly.
"GRRR!" Courtney said before trying to punch Gwen, but she dodged it.
"Now I'm going to call the police!" Duncan said.
"OH NOOOOO!" Courtney said.
"It's me, the police." The police said. "I am going to arrest you."
"Hey guys, It's time for team picking!" Chris said.
AT THE TEAM PICKING PLACE THING...
"Pick the teams." Chris instructed. "Gwen will go first because she is cooler."
"I choose Duncan." Gwen said.
"I choose Noah." Courtney said.
"I choose Katie." Gwen said.
"I choose Heather." Courtney said.
"I choose Ezekiel." Gwen said.
"I choose Owen." Courtney said.
"I choose Izzy." Gwen said.
"I choose Eva." Courtney said.
"I choose Cody." Gwen said.
"I choose Harold." Courtney said.
"I choose Sparem-die." Gwen said.
"I choose Justin." Courtney said.
"I'm glad that sequence is over." Chris said. "Now it's time to name the teams."
"Our team will be called The Based Chads." Gwen said.
"WAH! SO UGLY!" Justin wailed.
"Okay, so Gwen, Duncan, Katie, Ezekiel, Izzy, Cody and Sparem-die are The Based Chads."
"Fuck yeah we are." Izzy said.
"And Courtney, Noah, Heather, Owen, Eva, Harold and Justin are WAH! SO UGLY!"
"GRRRRR YOU NAMED OUR TEAM SOMETHING BAD YOU IDIOT!" Eva said as she beat up Justin.
"Now that that's taken care of, we can finally start the challenge!" Chris said. "All you need to do is push a trailer up this hill! GO!"
WITH WAH! SO UGLY!...
"Since I was a C.I.T, I will be the leader!" Courtney said meanly. "Everyone push the thing!"
Everyone pushed the thing.
"THAT'S TOO SLOW! WAAAAHHHHH!" Courtney whined and moaned.
"Okay we'll push it faster." Heather said as they pushed it faster.
"WAAAAAAHHHHH! THAT'S TOO FAST!"
"SHUT UP!" Eva said before punching Courtney. "C.I.T MORE LIKE PEE.I.T!"
"WAAAAHHHH! I WILL SUE YOU EVA!" Courtney cried.
WITH THE BASED CHADS...
"Okay, the plan is for me and Gwen to push because we're the best and you guys kill Sparem-die." Duncan strategized smartly.
"Booooooooooooooo-hooooooooooooooo!" Sparem-die whined while everyone started setting her on fire.
Cody was still dead.
"Okay we're gonna push this now." Gwen said as her and Duncan started pushing the trailer.
WITH WAH! SO UGLY!...
"MOVE IT SLACKERS!" Courtney screamed while whipping Justin.
"WAAAAAAHHHHHH! NOW I'M EVEN MORE WORSER THAN DUNCAN!" Justin cried.
They noticed Gwen and Duncan pushing their trailer up the hill super fast. "My word, I am simply gobsmacked!" Owen said. "How on earth are they pushing the trailer so fast?"
"A Chad is a man who can elicit near-universal positive female sexual attention at will. He is usually good looking, muscular, tall, and wealthy, or has otherwise high status and tends be a fast life history strategist. In countries where team sports are popular and associated with high social status, he is often a jock. He also tends to have intimidating masculine features such as a square jaw, hunter eyes, pronounced cheekbones, a broad chin, and a thick neck." Harold explained, having a correct opinion for the first time in his life.
"The Based Chads win the first half of the challenge!" Chris cheered. " As for WAH! SO UGLY!, get your trailer up here and we'll start the second half!"
57 YEARS LATER...
"Okay guys the next challenge is an acting challenge." Chris explained. "Both teams will be given a script and one person from each team will act it out. A special guest star will be the judge, best performance wins, GO!"
WITH WAH! SO UGLY!"
"What's the script Eva?" Heather asked.
"GRRRR IT'S A STUPID FUCKING COPYPASTA!" Eva screamed.
"I think Eva should do the thing slayyyyy." Noah said.
WITH THE BASED CHADS...
"The script is a based copypasta." Gwen said.
"I'll do it because I am based." Duncan said.
"What do you think Cody?" Izzy asked.
Cody was dead.
"JK No one cares about your opinion LMAOOOOO!" Izzy said.
Meanwhile Ezekiel and Katie were beating up Sparem-die.
"Everyone has done their scripts, and now it's time for our judge, Bowie, to judge your performances!" Chris announced.
"What a slay introduction." Bowie said.
"So slay." Noah said.
THE BASED CHADS' PERFORMANCE...
"Please shut up. I get it, you're horny. But nobody wants to hear about all the times you've masturbated to your sibling, or how you sold your body for sex and ruined your life for only a gram of weed, and nobody wants to hear about һоѡ your tits got in the way of something. Nobody wants to hear your "pwease be my friend, my gf left me because I cheated on her for drugs" crap when posting stuff like this is exactly the reason why you have no friends. You complain about not having bfs/gfs and yet you post garbage with zero self awareness. "stop telling me to kms" Okay instead you should touch grass instead of weed you cum stained landwhale. Go outside. Get some vitamin D. Get some new friends. Get something other than erection every time you see drugs." Duncan said awesomely.
"So incredibly such slay!" Bowie said. "10/10!"
WAH! SO UGLY!'S PERFORMANCE...
"I HATE water. Water is the most disgusting, turgid, repulsive thing ever. And not in cleaning, showering, washing, oh no. In drinking. Water is a terrible sin against hydration. It is an ancient sin, a plague brought upon this world by the evils of the universe. Why do I say this? Water is corrupting the minds of many into a hivemind of water drinkers. They all try to convince you that water is a good drink but it is not. Water cannot do what other drinks can do, but other drinks can do what water does. It is obsolete, outclassed, useless. It serves no purpose but to brainwash. Don't you feel silly, ashamed, dreadful that you have been intentionally drinking a liquid with no other benefits? We have optimized hydration to the point where water is not needed anymore, yet people continue, because of the hivemind. I will not settle for such mediocrity. Don't settle for less, strive for more. Strive for a better drink than the turgid waste that is water. You, the reader. Are you drinking water? Are you okay with the terrible curse you have laid upon yourself? You are foolish in all ways to accept such a drink. While you rabidly open another bottle of water, I am searching for the perfect elixir, the drink to end all drinks, the end to this madness. You shall see that I succeed, and the reign of terror that is water fall. Have you no respect for yourself? No dignity? No self esteem? No taste? You are an idiot for that. I shall not succumb to such bigotry in this apocalypse, and I will remain standing as the remaining pillar of sanity. How could you accept something so lowly? The bare minimum, with hydration of all things? All this time we've spent in the past to gather and fight for spices to make food taste better, and today, you are drinking water, something with no taste. You are an insult to these people. You are a disgrace for such an idiotic move. There is no need for a frivolous object like this. There is no reasoning, no evidence for such a thing. You are drinking the water that could've housed a fish or something more meaningful than what is to become urine. It is absolutely mine boggling that this behavior can be left unchecked. I would shower in grape juice if I had the choice, because of my endless battle against water. It is simply put, unviable. You are actively disrespecting your ancestors, your lineage, your life, and everyone around you when you do this. You disappoint me. You deserve to be sent into the great fiery pits of Tartarus for your heinous crimes, sentenced to an eternity of torture akin to that of Sisyphus, in which no success shall ever be saw by you again. You are worthless." Eva said lamely.
"Very not slay!" Bowie said. "2/10!"
"This means that the Based Chads win!" Chris announced. "I'll see WAH! SO UGLY! at elimination tonight."
"WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! WE LOST!" Courtney wailed.
"GRRRRRR SHUT UP!" Eva roared.
"YOU'RE ALMOST AS BAD AS GWUNCAN, EVA!" Courtney cried. "WAAAAAAHHHHH!"
Eva got so angry that she crushed Courtney's head with her arms, killing her.
Everyone cheered when they saw Courtney die. "THIS IS SO BASED!" Gwen said.
"So slay." Noah agreed.
"Simply exquisite." Owen said.
"I dislike her for being a woman!" Ezekiel announced.
AT THE ELIMINATION CEREMONY...
"Welcome, WAH! SO UGLY!" Chris said. "You lost the challenge so you have to vote on who goes home!"
"Courtney died, can we just vote her off?" Heather asked.
"Yeah okay." Chris said as Chefbot turned Courtney's dead body into stone and threw her next to Tyler and Lindsay.
"Who will be the next contestant eliminated?" Chris asked. "Find out next time on..."
TOTAL!
DRAMA!
ACTION!"
Votes:
Courtney - Owen, Noah, Heather, Justin, Harold, Eva
(Courtney unable to vote)
16th/15th: Tyler
15th/16th: Lindsay
14th: Courtney (Deceased)
The Based Chads: Gwen, Duncan, Katie, Ezekiel, Izzy, Cody, Sparem-die
WAH! SO UGLY!: Noah, Heather, Owen, Eva, Harold, Justin
Notes:
What a chapter. I eliminated Courtney because she sucks and I killed her because she sucks. I know having Sparem-die and Cody on the Based Chads is confusing since they are not based chads but I put them there so they can be abused more.