I was prepared for everything that being a secret hook-up normally entails. I'm good at being a secret. Covert meetings and subtle double entendres are my bread and butter. Since childhood I have trained alongside my father at levels that would impress some adult shinobi. To move silently in the shadows is second nature to me now . I've lived undercover behind enemy lines for months at a time to gather classified information, then disappeared from the faux life there without a trace. I've befriended and betrayed foreign dignitaries without a second thought when my village deemed it necessary. If it was required, I would gladly die to keep the lives of those around me safe without a moment's notice. But I don't feel prepared for this.
I shifted the unwieldy grocery bag from my right hand to my left, then knocked hesitantly on Shibi's door.
It's not too late to turn back.
I felt my weight start to shift to my heels as the door slowly creaked open.
Still not too late, I could duck around the side and climb up-oh! Beetles. Beetle security system. He's had them watching his home every other time I've visited, why would this be the exception? He definitely already knows it's me that knocked. Nevermind.
Shino bowed his head slightly in greeting.
"Kakashi-sensei. Welcome."
"Hey, good to see you. And there's no need to be so formal, you know. It's not like you're still in school."
He stared at me silently for a moment.
It's hard to tell who's more awkward here. I can't believe Shibi wants his secret lover to interact with his family affairs so closely. Maybe he's not the man I expected.
"Father is in the kitchen. He asked me to show you in."
He stepped aside stiffly, gesturing up the hall with his arm.
"It's right this way, Kakashi-sen-uhmmm. It's the first door here."
"Thank you, Shino."
I resisted the urge to chuckle at the awkward flush just barely visible between the top of his collar and the bottom of his glasses.
He must not be used to talking to adults without their titles. It's alright kid, that kind of thing just takes time.
I brought my bag of groceries to the kitchen where Shibi was already hard at work. He barely noticed as I entered the room. I cleared my throat to get this attention.
"Ah, there you are! And thank you so much for your assistance. I thought we already had everything, but the bell peppers were rotten inside."
He stepped towards me to take the bag of groceries and leaned in as if to plant a kiss on my cheek. I stepped back hurriedly and thrust the grocery bag out between us.
Is he really that distracted by making dinner? Someone could see him! I have no idea where Shino's chakra signature is here, the signatures of all the beetles make it so hard to find anyone…
Shino's bedroom door closed loudly from the other end of the house, and I exhaled in relief.
Be more careful, Shibi!
Several emotions passed quickly over Shibi's features as he searched my face for the reason for my rejection. First confusion, then thoughtfulness, then contentment as some sort of internal resolution was reached. He kept that contented look as he accepted the bag of veggies.
He must have realized his mistake in forgetting to keep track of Shino's location. Good.
"Would you like to join me? I could use a sous-chef."
"I would be happy to help, though I'm not sure how much help I'll really be. I'm not the best cook."
He took his place in front of the cutting board and gestured for me to stand beside him. I leaned against the counter and watched as he neatly organized an onion, some garlic, spicy peppers, and the newly received bell peppers next to his cutting board. He made two swift cuts part of the way into the onion, peeling the skin back in two long pieces. He tossed them away into the garbage without looking. The knife flashed in his hands, and the onion fell to regularly sized pieces.
"That's impressive!"
"Do you think so? It's really very easy."
He attempted to hide his pleasure at being praised, but he was unable to keep the pride out of his voice.
"I could…show you how?"
He added the suggestion quietly, not looking up from his cutting board.
I haven't heard Shino leave his room, it might be safe. There's no one else here.
"Sure."
He allowed me to take his place in front of the cutting board, sliding only a half step away so that he could see my work.
"We'll start you off with a bell pepper, they're easy enough."
He picked up one of the peppers I had provided and laid it on the board.
"First you're going to want to core it. Try running the knife around the top in a circle, but don't cut all the way through."
I got through two thirds of the pepper before I pressed slightly too hard and lopped the entire top of it off.
Whoops.
"I did warn you that I'm not the best chef…"
"Nonsense, you're doing great. Let's just toss that aside, and we'll fix it."
He tossed the top of the pepper into the trach with the onion skin, then grabbed the core of the pepper and twisted it sharply. I watched the top as it sailed cleanly across the room and landed…on a shred of paper peeking out from beneath the food waste.
What's this?
It appeared to be a torn up letter. I was able to read the words "I will not wait forever. - Suzumebachi", but the rest was obscured. The bell pepper's core disconnected and came out in Shibi's hand, leaving only a few seeds inside. It landed squarely on top of the letter, further removing it from view.
I really shouldn't pry. I'm sure if he wanted me to know what was going on he would tell me.
"Now we're going to split it along the ribs, then remove them like this."
He made one deft cut along the side of the pepper, then another. A slice of pepper fell out onto the board. He turned it carefully, making sure I could see his movements, and cut the remaining core of the pepper off of the sweeter flesh. He handed the knife back to me, letting his hand fall and rest on my lower back as I stepped back into position. My cuts weren't as practiced as his, but I managed to copy his movements well enough to separate the pepper.
"Good job! Now take those strips and lay them horizontally. We're going to cut them into thinner strips."
I laid the thicker pepper pieces in a line and held them in place. He stopped me before I made the first cut.
"Try keeping your hand like this," he tucked his hand so that the ends of his fingers were protected "so that you don't accidentally cut yourself."
"Worried about me, Shibi~?"
He flushed slightly and returned his hand to my back. I readjusted my grip as he directed and started to cut.
"See, there you go. You're shaping up to be a great chef."
"Thanks, I had a good teacher."
He laughed, and I felt his hand flatten against the place where it rested behind me. I finished the pepper and laid the knife aside to admire my work. He brought his arm tighter around me, turning me towards him. I leaned against the counter as he came around in front of me, pressing us together into a tight embrace.
You're really not being very careful. Shino could come out at any moment, and-
He nestled his head into my neck, murmuring close to my ear "Thanks for your help. I really should repay you…"
An unexpected noise escaped me, and for a moment I felt myself relax against him completely. Then a door opened on the other side of the house and I froze, stiffening back into a more appropriate position. Shibi smiled a dreamy half-smile, then stepped back to his cutting board and disassembled the remaining vegetables with impressive expertise.
This is getting dangerous…I almost lost track of myself.
A few seconds later the veggies were sizzling away in a pan of hot oil, and he was adding noodles to a pot of boiling water.
"Do you think you could-"
Shino appeared in the doorway. He finished his father's sentence.
"Set the table? I can handle that."
"I don't mind helping out, though you would need to show me where everything is."
"I've got it."
I moved across the room and out of the way, raising my hands in acquiescence.
Shino set places for three while Shibi finished the meal. They didn't speak to each other, but it seemed that they didn't need to. They moved in and out of each other's way without words, quietly comfortable in the other's presence. Shino's prior unease around me was even more apparent when I compared it to the calm way in which he worked now.
Have I done something wrong? Does he know about me and his father?
Shibi set out three portions on our plates and then took his seat. Shino turned towards me and motioned to a chair.
"Kakashi-sen…Kakashi."
My name stuck in his throat, but he managed it with only a little strain. I took my place.
That's progress, maybe. One syllable at a time.
Shibi reached over and mussed his hair, chuckling.
"My son is a bit shy, you have to be patient with him."
"Father, please!"
Shino fixed his hair with sharp, mock-anger in his movements, but he smiled as he did it.
"It's alright," I reassured, "I can take some getting used to."
Shini looked at me fondly for a moment before returning his gaze to his son.
"So, tell me and Kakashi here about your latest mission. That is what we're celebrating, after all."
And just like that, the spell of polite awareness that my presence had cast over Shino was broken. He began chatting excitedly about his most recent exploit, this time it was a mission to find a certain document in a secret library about a day's travel away. Apparently his team relied on his beetles to check the titles of every book and lead them to the correct one, and they performed flawlessly. Then he was able to break in and snag it while no one was looking. Shibi asked a leading question every time Shino paused, and each one took him down a different tangent about how this detail or that one was handled. His eyes shone with childish pride and determination. I began to feel awkward about how little I was contributing to the conversation and spoke up.
"It sounds like no one was hurt, you should be proud."
Shino turned to me, still grinning just as wide as when he was speaking to his father.
"Thank you, Kakashi."
This time my name didn't stick so harshly, it sounded as natural and unrestrained as when calling a friend.
Progress.