"And done!" Angela claimed.
Mika sat with her back turned to the bathroom mirror until Angela moved her to see herself. Mika's eyes went wide when she saw her new haircut. Her black curly chest-length hair was now shoulder-length. "What happened to me?" She said, horrified. "Oh, come on, you look good," Angela put the scissors down. Mika did look good, but she wouldn't let herself believe it.
Herm walked in with Isadora in her arms, "Awh, you look very pretty, isn't that right, Isa?". Isadora only put her fist in her mouth in response. Mika huffed and returned to examining her hair. She scrunched her curls with her hands. At least now they were detangled, "I still feel disgusting." "You look cool," Her father rebuked, and Mika replied, "Well, if you think I look cool, then I don't,". Angela was going to tell her to stop being so cranky when a light knock was heard by the doorway.
It was Bose, "Hey, you guys left the door open,".
Mika's undertones faded into red, so she looked away from him. She wasn't expecting to see him back just yet. "Well, this is news to us. You came through the door this time, I'm surprised you could find the big rectangle frame," Angela joked. "It took me a few tries, but those things are actually useful," Bose played along then gave Isadora a kiss on the cheek. "Are you here to pick her up, I thought you had her next Tuesday," Herm questioned.
Bose knew that, so that wasn't why he stopped by. He stared at Mika, fluffing her new hairstyle at her reflection, avoiding eye contact with him. "Actually, I came for something else," He stated. Angela and Herm shared knowing eye contact. "Can we get a minute?", He asked them. "Be our guest," Angela said as she, Herm, and Isadora left Mika and Bose alone.
Mika thought about following them out. She wasn't sure she was ready to face him again after their argument. Bose walked over to Mika and stood behind her. She watched him carefully through the mirror, and her eyes caught his. "I think your new hair looks beautiful," He complimented. Mika gripped the counter and leaned into it.
"I look like a mom," She quipped.
"You are a mom," He reminded.
"That doesn't mean I wanna look like one," she sneered.
Bose shook his head, came closer behind her, and stretched an arm onto the counter. He nudged her shoulder and then leaned down so she can look at him the right way. The two of them needed to talk, for real, this time with no arguing, double meanings, or snarky responses. They needed to start being mature and honest. Their relationship was centered around communication. They could always come to each other about anything, but once they lost that, they lost what they stood for.
Mika took a deep breath, disintegrated her facade, and shoved her pride down her throat. Mika stopped playing with her hair and sloughed her shoulders. Bose didn't break eye contact, and she became even more flustered. Bose did some deep thinking over the week. Obviously, Mika wasn't okay, and at least he can say he tried, but maybe he was going about it the wrong way. He just assumed what was wrong and tried to help her based on that, but he didn't try to understand what she was going through.
"I'm still here, Mika. I'm always going to be here for you no matter how hard you hit me or how loud you yell at me. I'm sorry about what happened last week. We were both on edge," Bose admitted. Mika nodded in understanding. They never wanted to hurt each other. She couldn't get rid of him no matter how hard she tried because he loved her, and when you loved someone, you didn't turn your back on them.
"I'm sorry too, Bose," Her voice cracked. Bose gave her a sincere smile and then reached to give her hand on the counter a squeeze, "I'm listening,".
Mika gazed at their conjoined hands, then she broke down. She pushed her loose curls behind her ear and sat down on the floor, pressing her back against the sink. Bose sat down with her, his hand holding hers.
" I can't help but feel like I threw my life away before it even started," Mika confessed. She spoke low and raspy. "The only books I read now are the ones that tell me how to be the perfect parent, I don't read for fun anymore, I don't go out on Saturdays to enjoy myself, I don't see or talk to my casual friends," Mika went on and Bose listened.
"I'm just here. Existing for the sole purpose of another person," Mika swallowed a lump in her throat. It was freeing to admit what she was actually thinking and feeling about their situation. Bose waited for her to go on, she tried to say more but the words wouldn't come as water leaked from her eyes.
"And then, and then I feel so guilty for feeling this way because I love our Isadora so, so fucking much that it's stupid and I am so beyond grateful to have her in my life, to have her belong to me," Mika swore.
She doesn't have to say she loved Isadora, Bose knows it. She looks at that baby like she would sacrifice the entire world to be able to be her Mom. They would do anything for that little girl.
"I sometimes think that she deserves a better mom," Mika confessed.
Bose was devastated that Mika held such sorrow for herself, "It doesn't get better than you, Mika Eureka Macklin,".
Mika was everything to Bose. She truly was. "Mika, you underestimate yourself. You are strong and intelligent and patient, and overall, you have more compassion in your fingertips than most people have in their entire body," Bose said to her.
"Isadora is lucky to have you," Bose assured, and Mika wiped down her cheek as her heart swelled. She wouldn't believe it if it came from anyone else mouth other than his. "Your life isn't over, I promise. You are going to do great things, and you better believe it. You just have to embrace this. No matter what you do, Adora and I are going to be proud of you because we'll know how much shit you had to go through to get there,".
Bose rubbed his thumb over her to console her. "That means everything to me," Mika crooned.
Although Mika still wanted to be sure she wasn't just being selfish, "But what about you, have you ever felt that way since she came into our lives?".
Bose exhaled. There really wasn't a solid answer for that, "Yes and no,". Bose never had the thought of ever being a Dad until she told him that she was pregnant. It wasn't in the cards for him. Bose always had this fear deep inside of him that he would be just as much a disappointment of a father as his own was.
Bound to leave another kid as a fragment. Having Isadora was like he was getting a chance to make up for what his father couldn't do.
"I was scared mostly, I still am. It's not that I didn't like who I was before, but now I want to be better for her. Being a Dad has been giving me more of a purpose, I used to feel stuck all the time. I don't feel that way anymore," He explained, "I just really don't want to mess this up,".
"Me too," Mika agreed.
"I'm glad you told me, now that we know where we stand with being parents, we can make this work, we can be a team again," Bose claimed. Mika smiled. That was all she needed right now. "Sounds good?" He asked, beaming when he saw her smile, and she slightly laughed, "Yeah, that sounds good,".
Bose stood up and offered Mika his hand. She jolted up being the most energized she's been in a long time. Bose bludged with light to see that beautiful smile again. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into a genuine hug. Mika nuzzled herself into his chest and got a whiff of his cologne. He was wearing her favorite one. It made her hesitant to talk to him about something else that had been on her mind.
Bose closed his eyes and enjoyed the moment between them. They pull apart, and Bose set a gentle kiss on her coco lips. She kissed him back but quickly drifted from him. Mika wasn't making eye contact and bit her lower lip nervously.
"Oh no, I thought we made up?" He playfully placed his forehead on hers, Mika removed his hands from her waist and backed away from his forehead. "Okay, so we didn't make up...", Bose trailed off.
"No! We did, we're good," Mika insisted.
"Then why can't I kiss you?" He queried, putting his hands in his pocket.
Mika wasn't sure she was going to do this at first. She thought that maybe if they had this talk, it would change her mind, but it didn't. It made her more sure of her decision. Mika played with the tip of her fingers, searching for the right words.
"Look, that argument we had was intense, and well, we technically broke up," Mika said.
"Yeah, but we didn't mean to. As you said, it was intense. We were just pissed off at each other," Bose recalled.
Mika sighed, "We were. But I don't think it was a mistake,".
Bose's palms started to get sweaty, and he couldn't process what she was getting at. Of course, it was a mistake, unless she really wanted to break up with him.
" It just came out the wrong way. When I said that i didn't want to be you anymore it wasn't because of you, you're wonderful," Mika established, "It's me, and right now have a lot that i need to work on. I'm not happy with myself, and that's not going to change overnight. I don't think a relationship is something that I need or want at this point," Mika explained.
"Oh," was how Bose responded. Mika could see that he wasn't okay with this, how could he be?
"Don't get me wrong, I love you. I always will. This isn't me saying that we're done forever, only for now, so I can figure things out. Maybe even you can learn some things from this. I just want to give us our best chance," Mika elaborated, "And until we know what all this means, we can go back to being friends,".
Bose scoffed in amusement, "Fine, if that's what you want, I'll respect that. Who knows, it could be good for us. But Friends? I forgot how to be that with you,". He didn't look distressed anymore, and Mika was relieved.
"It's gonna be an adjustment. Being friends means we won't kiss, hold hands, or do all that other romantic stuff, "Mika cut herself when she saw the gleam in Bose's eyes when looking at her. "And you won't do that," She pointed at his eyes, and he smiled. "Do what?"He played dumb. "Look at me like that," She shoved his shoulder jocosely.
"I've always looked at you this," He claimed.
"Well, you're gonna have to stop, or this is going to be very hard for the both of us," Mika stated.
She was blushing because he was still doing it. Had he always been this doughy-eyed around her?
"You want me to be just a friend, okay, I'm just a friend. But you also want me to pretend like I'm not in love with you, not possible," Bose humored, but he actually meant.
Mika grinned and suppressed a laugh. She reached her hand out for him to shake, "Friends?".
Bose nodded, then took his hands out of his pocket to shake her hand. "Freinds," he agreed, "Just normal friends who are co-parenting their kid together," he added.
"Exactly!" Mika claimed, and Bose chuckled.
They both felt better, Bose was still bummed out that they just broke up, but he understood why she felt they had to.
Air entered Mika's alveolus once again, and her poor screwed-up brain began to clear the dark clouds it made for itself.
Tomorrow, she would look forward to getting out of bed again.