Unspoken Part II

A/N: Please excuse the mistakes. I wasn't able to read through and proofread it, before posting, but I'll do so later when I'm able.

Max felt sick to her stomach.

The slamming of the driver's side door made her jolt a little in her seat. Billy's jaw was tight. The muscles twitched as he shoved the key into the ignition, and the engine roared to life. Max buckled her seatbelt just in time for him to put the car into gear and step on the gas. Being in the front seat again didn't feel real. Hell, none of it did.

She hadn't expected Neil to mean any of the things he'd said at dinner. Mostly the part about letting Billy drive the car. Her shock was still making her stomach flip, and the small amount of food in there threatened to come back up. Not to mention the fear…

Mad Max….

This wasn't real, right? She was just dreaming…

As dinner came to an end, Max had tried to start helping her mom gather the containers and clean up, but Neil had snapped his fingers at her, making her go rigid. "I've got it. You can go call your little friends now."

She'd actually stood there waiting for the punchline that never came. Even her mom had dropped one of the containers, but Neil just ushered her along, claiming a show was starting that he wanted to watch. Fear had choked her then when he gave her a final glance that felt just as heavy as the last.

He knew. He fucking knew.

She almost ran to her room and debated locking the door, but after a long glance at Billy's with no sound coming from the other side, she left it cracked. Besides, she didn't want her mom to question her again in case she came to check on her. Surely she knew Neil was possessed by an alien or… up to something.

Max watched that crack in the door even as she'd made plans per Neil's insistence. Even when she didn't really want to. As she ended the call with Mike, the sound of heavy steps in the hall had her clenching the blankets in her fists. Her palms when clammy when he gave three sharp raps on Billy's door. When it swung open, she sucked in a breath, waiting for Neil to lay into him about storming off, but instead, the jingle of keys had her exhaling in disbelief.

Billy's face went from a mix of frowns and trepidation–like a snake poised to strike–to one of complete and utter shock. His hand was out in front of him, cupping the keys like they were an illusion, a trick of the mind. He blinked, then looked at Neil as though he was being tricked.

"Maxine is going out with her friends tonight. You're only taking her today and tomorrow, got it? Then it's back in the garage until break is over," Neil said.

Neil turned and stomped back down the hallway without another word, leaving Billy there to stare at the keys in his hand. Max couldn't tear her eyes away from the bruising on his face and how the swelling made the frown he wore more of a snarl. Billy looked up and peered into Max's room, almost as if he could sense her eyes fixed on him. Their eyes met and she let hers fall; the guilt knocking at her chest was making it hard to breathe. She couldn't bring herself to see the disdain in his expression for being forced to leave the house. The look he gave was accusatory, as though she had asked to go out. If he'd just stayed at dinner, he would have heard Neil's insistence–would have seen how strange he was acting.

Now, she was in the car with him. She didn't ask for this. To go out and disturb him.

Max couldn't help but wonder if Neil's strange actions were a way to silence them–to make sure their mouths stayed shut about what happened. It felt as though he was luring them into a false sense of security. What else did he have to gain from practically handing them what they would have normally wanted? Once again, he was the one in control wielding all of the cards, and Max felt like she was being played like one of the arcade games. She wanted to scream, "Game Over!" and let that be the end of this ongoing nightmare.

Of course, she wasn't fool enough to think Neil became a saint overnight. No one could convince her that man had a shred of guilt in his body. Especially not for dishing out what he likely thought was justified 'punishment'. Absolutely no way. So what was so different this time that Neil was pretending–no–lying completely. Giving instead of taking. Well, shoving was more like it really.

He hadn't even tried to hint to her mother that camp had been a lie. Instead, he'd asked questions–feigned interest. He'd–

Holy shit.

Max's heart skipped a beat as she suddenly realized exactly what was holding Neil back.

Mom.

She wasn't there that night, which meant a part of Neil felt she would do something if she found out he went after Max.

She sank back into the seat, letting the bumps and vibrations of the car soothe her jagged nerves. It made sense now. He was drunk. And he didn't want her mom to know that. The first time, and last, that Neil had gotten to that point her mother had thrown a fit and ignored him for days, but mostly out of fear. Hadn't said even one word. And now…if she were to find out he'd gotten drunk again–not only that, but also went after Max?

The tears she'd been holding back for the last day threatened her once again, stinging her eyes and clogging her throat. She clenched her jaw and stared out the window as Hawkins sped past from Billy's obvious speeding. It shouldn't have hit the way it did, the damning realization that Neil never hurt her because her mom was always around, preventing it. But as soon as she wasn't–he'd struck with intent to dish out what he thought she was owed.

This is long overdue.

The image of Neil slowly approaching her flashed through her head again. And like before, that same, haunting image morphed into her mother's face of terror, plaguing her mind again. She knew she couldn't breathe a word of Neil's scandal. What if he were to hurt her?

Max played out the image from before dinner again, remembering her surprise at seeing the living room so clean. Of course her mom hadn't done it… and Billy hadn't left his room. Which meant it must have been Neil, and the only explanation for him doing so was that he was hiding evidence of what he'd done. He'd also taken out the trash…full of beer cans. Max wouldn't have been surprised if he'd forced Billy to do it and then taken credit…but she'd have heard him telling him what to do, right? He wanted to cover his own tracks…

Respect and responsibility.

"Respect and responsibility, my ass," Max mumbled under her breath, banging the back of her head against the seat.

Neil never wasted a moment to hammer in being responsible. Taking accountability. Where the hell was his owning up to being drunk and wreaking havoc?! She wanted to huff out a laugh at the thought of him actually admitting what he'd done–or was about to do–that night to her mother. He would likely try to take it to his grave. The hypocrite.

No wonder Billy was so pissed, besides the other obvious reasons: the beating itself. And her being the one to cause it. She needed to open a way to apologize, to ease him into understanding. Into believing she didn't do this on purpose, didn't mean for any of this to happen. Otherwise, he'd brush it off, saying she didn't mean it. Saying her apology was bullshit.

Max turned to him. Billy looked straight ahead, his jaw still tight. A concrete grip on the steering wheel.

He wasn't even trying to hide his anger around Neil at the dinner table. Didn't care about the consequences. Even so now.

Maybe she shouldn't have called her friends. Or went along with Neil's "insistence" of getting out of the house. Still, a part of her wanted Billy out, away from Neil. Away from his lies. But was that what he wanted at this moment?

Billy hadn't spoken a single word to her or even turned on the music. Max could practically hear her own brain ticking in the silence and it made her want to twitch. Why wasn't he saying anything? Surely now that was out of the house it would be a little easier to relax? Or maybe not since she was by him... Whatever the case, she tried to think of something, anything, that might break him out of his rigid trance.

"Did Neil tell you about going to the firework show downtown tomorrow?"

He said nothing, flexing his fingers on the wheel just to tighten them down again. She waited, then waited some more all the while sneaking glances at his face to see if he was maybe just thinking over what she said, or maybe he hadn't heard her. Perhaps he'd been able to see Neil's hypocrisy more than she had. She didn't let his silence deter her though and turned more fully in his direction, raising her voice a little higher this time.

"Do you think you'll go?"

Nothing.

She pursed her lips. He was obviously still mad. Very mad. She knew it was about Neil, and her getting him in trouble again; that was obvious. But there was something else too. The way he was on edge hardly holding it together told her she was missing something important. What did Neil tell him? Didn't he tell him he's the one who insisted on this impromptu outing for whatever reason? It felt like her mind was pacing, and she wanted to tell him the truth of it all so he'd understand that this wasn't her doing. Maybe then he would be a little less irritated at her too.

"I didn't ask to go to the arcade. It was Neil. He started acting weird when you left and told me to call them and go out. I wouldn't have otherwise."

He scoffed and his lip struggled to curl up into the normal scowl from how swollen it was."Right. Just like you wouldn't have snuck away again."

Max paused. She'd started to prepare herself to have to push a little further to get him to respond, but his remark took her by surprise. It was the start she needed even if the words stung a little.

"Seriously, I wanted to stay home. Fireworks don't sound that appealing right now." She tried to say it with a bit of something uplifting in her voice, anything to crack the cold exterior she was being met with, but he cracked his jaw and ignored her again. She breathed out through her nose for a moment before taking another shot.

"I was actually thinking... if you didn't want to go see fireworks, maybe you and I could do something else instead? Hang out?" She hated how hopeful it sounded, but she couldn't lie and say it wasn't what ran through her mind before Neil started insisting on her going places.

Billy scoffed, then winced again and glanced at her with his one good eye, "Why the hell would I want to hang out with you, Max? So you can go back on your word and get me in trouble again?"

Her word?

Max squinted her eyes, trying to process what he meant. Slowly, they began to widen as she realized, "You're mad at me about the deal." It was a statement, said softly after a pause as her brain sped to catch up.

"Gee Max, I wonder why."

Of course. Now it made sense. She hadn't realized until that moment that Billy was upset with her–but not just mad about causing another beating. He was pissed about her breaking their deal.

She had been so distracted with Neil and his entire charade of lies–so distracted with the close beating and Billy having protected her–that she hadn't stopped to consider just how far she'd messed things up with Billy–again!

That day at Next Level when she traded in that twenty dollars to win Billy's tickets, she knew, in a way, that she was also trading in her promise, her deal not to get Billy in trouble. She knew the possibility, the slight chance Billy could have consequences from her actions, just like she would have. But it hadn't been so slight. And what she hadn't thought, hadn't even considered until now was just HOW much Billy would be affected. Just how much he'd be torn inside, grappling with the thoughts and feelings of Max's betrayal. Her going back on the deal she established. And now she realized–to him, she had been like Neil. A hypocrite. In this moment, she was no different.

Now that she sat with the knowledge, it felt so obvious and she felt like a fool. The weight of her guilt grew heavier again, knowing she was the main cause for his rage, and along with it a blip of embarrassment for casually offering to hang out as though nothing had happened. As though she hadn't gotten him beaten again. It was like that night all over again on the side of the road, and after, when Billy ignored her–no–avoided her like the plague. Yet somehow, this felt much, much worse. How bad had she messed up? Did this mean it would put a distance between them again? After all her hard work to close it?

No. Max couldn't stand the thought of that happening. For them to revert back to the old ways was the last thing she wanted. She'd hated the back and forth with Billy, and after seeing the sides of him she liked….going back wasn't an option as long as she could fight for the gap to stay closed.

Max opened her mouth to say something, anything to prevent the rift between them from growing, but she snapped it shut when he scoffed, shaking his head before she could find the words. His distant gaze made it seem like he was remembering something, and he turned that look toward her. She saw the rage there, reflected in his eyes and she winced.

"Just like old times, huh Max. Still getting me in trouble."

She shook her head. "I didn't plan for this."

"But you did plan."

Silence.

He wasn't wrong. But she couldn't tell him what she actually had planned. Not yet. Not when he was so angry it'd look like he'd toss her out of the moving car without a second thought. She could feel his eyes on her face every second or so, like he was trying to suck the confession right out of her. To get her to acknowledge that yes, she did plan something without considering the consequences, without thinking how her actions affected him, that her careless actions in result got him into trouble…again. The guilt was turning into a little monster in her head and it yelled, "coward" at her now for being unable to form the words. When he sighed that same annoyed sound that told her he was finished she forced her mouth to move.

"Yes, I had a plan…but it was never with any intention to get you into trouble. In fact, that was the last thing I wanted! I tried to consider everything just to make sure you wouldn't be blamed…especially if I got caught… but that didn't happen."

Billy shook his head, scrunching his lips. "I knew there was something fishy. You hate volleyball." He shook his open hand. The way he spat the words made it clear his anger was palpable. And it was clear he didn't believe that she hadn't meant for him to get blamed. Of course he wouldn't, not when it all fell apart the same way as before with all arrows leading to her.

"Look, I keep trying to tell you. I never meant for things to turn out this way. I wasn't trying to go back on our deal." She fought for a good enough reason, unsure of how he'd react if she told him the truth–would it make him simmer his anger, or would it just piss him off even more? She didn't know. So she let the words trail off into the tense silence of the car. For a moment she wondered if he was just going to revert back to ignoring her. But then his voice came out as clipped as before, yet to Max, it was still better than nothing at all.

"Then why didn't you just say you didn't want to go to the camp? Hell, why did you insist on going?!"

"Because… Because…" Max tossed up her hands. "Because I needed to get out of that house. I needed an excuse to get away and do something different for a change, socialize with people who would actually talk to me!"

"Oh, needed an excuse to do something differnt… Then you actually just sneak off and do something else reckless and have to sneak back in at the expense of MY head!"

"You did it too! What about that time you snuck in past curfew?"

"That is not the same thing. You wouldn't have gotten in trouble if I'd been caught. But I always, always get screwed when you fuck up! God Max, you never think these things through!"

"I made a mistake, OK. It was a stupid plan."

"Then maybe you should just stop planning anything in the future," he spat and she sighed, ignoring the jab of his words, but knowing she deserved a little bit of his snark.

Billy scoffed, "Are you seriously clueless about how stupid your impulse decisions are? Without fail, I'm the one left dealing with the consequences. Every. Damn. Time. You talk about wanting things to be different, but they are exactly the same. You are exactly the same. You're still the same selfish, annoying little brat that keeps making my life a living hell with everything you do." He enunciated the words and each one felt like a blow that had her sitting up higher in her seat. Her frustration to make him understand tangled with anger bubbled under the surface.

"Then why did you do it? Why did you protect me if I'm such a selfish, annoying little brat? You didn't have to! I didn't ask you to!"

His eyes widened at her increase in volume and he shot her an incredulous look instead of answering her question, "Don't sit there and try to turn this on me. You're the one who snuck away. None of this would have happened if you would have just gone to the fucking camp. But you just had to do some kind of bullshit to get away. What was your plan, huh? What…what could have been so important for you to sneak off instead of going to the fucking camp?!"

"YOU!"

He stopped short and exhaled slowly as though trying to calm down. He squinted his eyes, processing the words and his brow furrowed, confused when he couldn't understand what she meant. "What do you mean?" he finally said, almost softly but unable to hide the growl still in his voice. But Max stayed silent, holding her tongue. She couldn't make the words come out, knowing he wouldn't understand. He spoke again, his voice more irritated and stern. "What do you mean?! Max!"

She said nothing, scrunching herself closer to the window, turning away from him.

Billy blew out air from his nose like a bull. Angry, he stomped on the gas and quickly veered the car, screeching into the parking lot right across from the palace arcade, pedestrians dodging out the way, waving fists and cursing at him. Then he veered again, taking a sharp turn into a parking space before forcefully throwing the car in park. Each forceful action was laced with visible anger and aggression.

He whipped his head around. "Start talking."

She shook her head subtly, so much that she didn't know if he'd seen it. She didn't look at him but heard him fidget in the seat as he growled. The leather from the steering wheel squeaked from how hard he must have been gripping it.

"Start. Talking."

She didn't.

Billy huffed.

"Yeah, be a coward and lock up. Forget owning up to your like always, Max. Leave it to you Max to just keep fucking things up."

Max reared back and choked on a sob at the words. She clicked her seat belt and threw the door open, scrambling out of the car as fast as her feet could carry her. She knew Billy well enough by now to know that his words were meant to provoke her, to cut her deep, but she wouldn't let him. Not this time around. She wasn't ready.

"Max. Max!"

She slammed the door.

"Shit, shit, shit!" Billy went wild inside the car, hitting on the steering wheel. He jerked on the handle, kicked his door open, then slammed it shut. "Max!"

She didn't stop when he called her. She could feel her heart beating faster, and her eyes began to water. She quickened her pace, set on escaping him as fast as possible.

"Max!" he called to her again. His voice drew nearer. Footsteps a loud thunder rumbling through the ground.

Billy's hand snaked out and snatched her by the wrist, jerking her around and to an abrupt stop. She sucked in a breath and her eyes went wide as she stared up at his own."Get off of me!" Max cried, trying to pry her arm away. But Billy held tight, shaking her.

"No! You're my responsibility, so I have to look after you, or have you forgotten that?" Billy clenched his jaw as he did his best to calm down and not crush Max's wrist in his grasp.

"I don't care! I don't need you to," OR *because this would likely hurt him* "I don't care, Billy! I don't need you!" Max yelled at him but this time, to his face. It gave him pause, his eyes flickering from side to side in disbelief, but only for a brief second. That only made him more angry and the grip on her wrist tightened to the point that her face scrunched from the pressure.

He yanked her in closer so that they were almost nose to nose, and his voice dropped to a menacing sound, "What did you just say?"

She didn't repeat it, not believing the words herself, nor really meaning them in the way they slipped out. She opened her mouth to speak but the look in his eye flashed to one of hurt before quickly changing to anger so thick she could almost taste it in the air. He nodded and his lip curled again, morphing his face. "If it wasn't for me being there you ungrateful little bitch, Neil would have beaten the shit out of you!"

All at once, Max's anger surged, her emotions overpowering any restraint she had. Her face flushed with fury, and without a moment's thought, the words erupted from her mouth, untamed and unstoppable. "Well you should have let him then!" The sharpness of her retort hung in the air, the weight of her emotions palpable, leaving both siblings stunned by the intensity of the moment.

Billy's grip suddenly loosened. He was stunned not only by her words but by the tears falling from her angry eyes. The mirth fled from his gaze as he stared at her in shock, trying to process that she'd actually meant it.

Max snapped, "Yes, it's all my fault. You don't think I know that? You don't think I feel bad?! I wasn't trying to get you in trouble. I was trying to do something to make you happy. But I always, always screw up!" Her chest heaved as she let the word spew from her mouth, trying to get them all out through her sobs. She pushed lightly at his chest, but he didn't budge and she exhaled sharply at his slack-jawed expression. "You didn't have to protect me. You should have just let him hit me. It wasn't your fault. And I feel so guilty about it. I'm not trying to get you in trouble, Billy. I was trying to do something nice. Now let go of me."

Embarrassed, she shoved him off by force and raced across the parking lot to The Palace Arcade. All the while, Billy stood there, stunned, trying to make sense of her words. Then frustrated with himself bubbled inside when he thought about his grip on her. He shut his eyes and clenched his fingers into a punch before dropping it at his sides. I did it again, he thought.

Max felt more hurt than embarrassed. His words had struck a nerve, and only because they had been kind of true. Her knees weakened, she ran across the parking lot and slid her back down the wall of the arcade away from the entrance. She squatted there with her head hanging as her tears bounced off the pavement, making a small stream that drifted toward her feet.

She turned this on him, like she was the victim but he was hurt because of her. Again. So stupid, she thought. She took a deep breath, trying to stop the tears. And she sat there for a moment, alone, looking out at the nearly disappearing winter sun.

"Max?" a familiar voice called from nearby and then someone appeared right in front of her.

"Max!" This time two voices called to her in unison.

She raised her head to see Lucas, Mike, Will, and Dustin's worried faces.

"You ok?" Lucas greeted her.

Max rapidly blinked and lowered her head, trying to hide her eyes in case they were still red. "Yeah, I'm ok."

"You sure? We saw you arguing with Billy across the street."

Shit, they saw that? She tried to brush it off with a nonchalant voice."It was nothing."

They gave her doubtful looks. "It didn't look like nothing," Mike said.

"Guys, really, I'm fine." She wiped at her face with the back of her sleeve, so that maybe her face would reflex what her words were saying. After, she looked back up at them only to see the same expressions as before.

The boys looked at each other and cowered down to give her a hug, making dramatic squeals while exaggerating head rubs while saying, "There, there." She knew it was to make her laugh and cheer her up, but she still stood up to squirm away from them. "Guys," she sighed before giving them a small smile to hide the exasperation in her tone. It seemed to make her point and they stood again, although not exactly giving her any more space.

"What did that dick do to you this time? If I still had Dart–rest his soul–I'd sick him on him," Dustin fumed to which Max couldn't help but laugh–then stopped, feeling it was wrong.

"Cheer up Max," Will chimed in.

"Yeah, ignore him," Lucas patted her back as she sniffed again and wiped her nose. Ugh, this was so embarrassing.

"No really, he didn't do anything." They blinked, staring at her with looks of confusion before glancing at the wall where they'd just found her crying. Dustin pointed to her face and opened his mouth like he might point out she'd literally been crying, but she gave them another half smile and quickly changed the subject. "Thanks for coming on short notice. I thought you all might like the nightlife arcade again."

"Yeah, you wanna show off your new skills now that you compete in tournaments like a pro?" Dustin asked, throwing her cheesy grin while wiggling his brows. "How'd that go? Did Max Mad show them who's boss?"

She huffed a laugh and shook her head before waving a hand at him, "Totally not a pro. I'm just glad we can all play some games tonight." She tried not to feel any guilt for the small look that passed over Dustin's face when she dodged his question. She knew they wanted to ask more, but the last thing she wanted to focus on right then was Billy.

"Surprised you were even allowed to leave the house."

She didn't want to address that either. Max scrambled to find some way to explain her sudden ability to come out without resistance from Neil when Lucas glanced at her, noticing the panic on her face. He swooped in and placed himself into Mike's line of sight.

"Surprised you stopped your cuddling sessions with El to come join us," he said to Mike.

"Shut up!"

Mike seemed to drop it after that, turning to Dustin to talk about something else. Not having heard their voices in person for a while, she felt as though a heavy burden had just been lifted from her shoulders. She released a soft chuckle in between her sniffs and smiled. While the others led the way, Lucas shuffled a little closer to Max, and she knew by the look on his face that he was going to push just a little bit more. He gave her a smile and nudged her arm.

"Sooo, how did the tournament go?"

"I…I don't want to talk about it." She sighed heavily, wishing it were possible to forget about all of it for just a while. But his worry only increased as he stopped, making her pause as well.

"Does this–" he gestured towards her pink eyes and then to the parking lot "-have to do with that?"

"I said I don't want to talk about it. Let it go, Lucas." She huffed but then the guilt poked his head in again and she added, "Please."

Lucas gave her a nod and a smile that reflected her own and she took it as a sign that he was dropping it–for now. They joined Mike and Dustin who were arguing over the dig dug machine and the evening went on as usual the the guys. Yet Max wasn't feeling herself. Being surrounded by the games and the familiar sounds kept reminding her about the tournament and therefore Billy. Which then brought his words back as though he was yelling them at her again and again.

If it weren't for me you ungrateful bitch, Neil would have beaten the shit out of you!

Max was so unfocused that it took her a second to realize her current game was over. The number reflecting back at her in big bold colors was the lowest score she'd ever gotten. The wave of frustration seemed linked directly to her hands, and before she knew it she'd slammed them down on the sides of the machine. "Shit!" The boys look over at her, then at each other.

"We don't have to play here. We can go somewhere else," Dustin suggested with a careful raise of his shoulder while looking at her with guarded eyes.

"No, no," she said before pointing at the screen. "I've just never scored that low before. I'm fine, really." But she wasn't sure if they believed her. She kept playing, but her heart just wasn't in it and the frustration dissipated when she decided to stop forcing it. She floated around the guys as they played and cheered them on when she could. Slowly, the time began to pass. Gathered back out front to wait on their rides, she joined the guys, trying not to look too hard for Billy's Camaro.

Dustin cleared his throat and everyone turned to him, "Are you planning to do anything New Year's Eve?"

Max thought about Neil's suggestion. "No, not that I know of. My mom is going to some stupid office party, so I'll–" Max was going to say "so I'll just be at home," but knowing them, they'd probably stop by to surprise her and convince her to tag along. "-I'll just go with her."

"Sounds lame. I can ask my mom if you could hang with us. We're watching fireworks downtown." Lucas offered.

She thought of Neil again and of the small possibility he might not go with her mom to the party after all. The idea of leaving Billy at home alone didn't sit well with her, even if he chose to ignore her the whole time.

"No, it's ok."

"You sure?"

"Uh-huh."

One by one the boys' parents came. Max waved them off, giving the best smiles and a few reassuring nudges when they gave her worried looks again. When it came time for Lucas to leave, he turned right as he'd taken a step towards the car and gave her a pointed look.

"Remember, Max, I'm here. You can tell me if something's bothering you?"

She pursed her lips, knowing he wouldn't leave it alone all night like she'd hoped. "I'm fine Lucas. But I'd be even more fine if you let it go and drop it, jusssst like you did with your score tonight."

He huffed and rolled his eyes. "You weren't that far ahead of me, Max! Don't get a big head. Do you need a ride home?"

She shook her head and waved him off. "No. Billy is coming to get me."

He nodded, although his sudden frown made it look like he wanted to protest. When he climbed into the car and it pulled away, her shoulders finally slumped and she fought the urge to sink to the ground.

Max waited a little while longer, hoping to hear the roar of Billy's Camaro, but was surprised that she hadn't yet. The chill of the night air was too much for her to stand in so she wondered her way back inside. She couldn't make the frown on her face go away since it had been exactly an hour since the boys' had started getting picked up. Billy was usually pretty quick since it meant he could hurry on to do whatever else he had planned…maybe having the car was the only reprieve he'd had in a while. She didn't know. But she was tired of standing in the arcade. On her way over to speak to Keith, she stopped to see Billy's Sinister arcade score. She had to scroll three pages in, but there it was under his BallBuster9000 arcade name.

She flagged down Keith from behind the counter and she reached to grab some scrap paper which only made him look at her as though she'd grown a second head or arm. She rolled her eyes, "I'm leaving a note for proof. If he comes looking for me, would you tell my brother…" she paused. Brother. Billy was her brother, wasn't he? After all he had put himself in between her and Neil–took a beating for her and protected her. She owed him that–the title he'd earned. Who else could she say would have done that for her? No one. She continued, "Tell my brother I'll be over at the skate shop?"

"Do I look like your errand boy?" he snipped, looking down at her scrawl and then back at her with an irritated scowl.

Max rolled her eyes. "No, but you look like someone he'd punchin the face if he gets pissed because he can't find out where I am."

A slightly stunned look crossed his face and he reared back from the sharpness in her tone.

Shit. She didn't mean to snap. Max rubbed her temples as she tried to soften the edge in her voice. "Sorry…just…Please tell him." She didn't give him time to object, just turned and left before she said another thing she might regret.

…

By the time she got to the skate shop, it was almost closing time. She slipped inside, avoiding the eyes of the clerk as she b-lined for the one thing she wanted to see. She sped up and down the aisles, but it wasn't there in the normal spot, nor was it moved anywhere else. The skateboard she'd liked was finally gone.

Of course it is. Someone already bought it. It was probably someone's Christmas gift. She sighed. Maybe it was for the best.

Unable to look at the boards any longer, she gave up and made her way back outside, standing just off to the side of the front door so that Billy would be more likely to see her when he showed up. She leaned against the wall and hugged her arms tight around her body for warmth.

I ain't scared to fall, I've felt the ground before.

Max thought about the skateboard quote that she remembered by heart, but now after everything, it didn't seem true for her, because she didn't know if she could get back up after this. Her bottom lip wobbled as the tears began to build again, but she sniffled them back, determined not to let any more spill out again. She was about to fail when the roar of a car filled the silence. She immediately knew who it was.

Billy had pulled up sideways across the empty parking spaces, and the sound of the engine quieted down just slightly. Max stared for a moment as he looked over at her with heavy-lidded eyes. The light reflected off his earring. She could see him sigh, making him seem slightly more mellow than before. As he leaned over to roll down the window she was surprised that no music played out into the chilly air. There was still that twist of annoyance in his eyes, but at least he didn't look at her like he wanted to smash her head against a window.

"Get in," he said in that usual bored tone before sitting back up and looking away.

She said nothing as she climbed in, and they rode in silence. They seemed to be doing that a lot lately with only the raw tension filling the air. It was hard to tell where they stood after the argument from earlier, but it felt less thick and heavy between them–less angry, even if only a little. After all, he hadn't said anything about her leaving the arcade and that annoyed look in his eye hadn't been the kind that promised a fight, but seemed more like resolve.

Should I apologize? It seemed like anything she did got him in trouble. And he got another beating again because of her. She felt so guilty. Would he even want an apology? Can words even fix what happened this time? Why did it feel as though nothing she could say or do would make it better now?

"What did you mean when you said you snuck out for me?" His voice was calmer, still that hint of anger coming out in his tone.

The question shook her from her thoughts, but still, she remained silent. She hadn't expected him to speak first, but the last thing she wanted to answer was that question. She didn't answer.

"So we're doing the silent treatment now?"

Silence.

Billy cursed under his breath. "How am I supposed to know if you don't tell me?"

"I can't tell you."

"Right. What is this, some secret dungeons and dragons thing again?"

She slowly turned and just stared at him. He continuously switched his gaze from her to the road, growing more annoyed each time.

She wanted to tell him, and she contemplated in her silence, but then she remembered how mad he was when she brought his cassette, he threw it as hard as he could across the room despite it being his favorite. Then there was the way he completely detached (from Metallica) for a while after Neil broke his radio. And there was that possibility that he would do the same to the tickets–that his anger would be so deep thanks to her actions that he wouldn't want those tickets after everything. Or worse–that he'd rip them to shreds. The idea that he'd do to them what he did to the cassette wasn't something she could stomach just yet. It would crush her. If it turned out that all of her efforts had been for nothing, she wasn't so sure they would ever come back from it. "I can't tell you. Not right now. You won't care right now."

He seemed frustrated by the vagueness. "Shouldn't I be the one to decide that?"

Silence.

But he decided to drop it with an exasperated huff. "Whatever, Max."

Her shoulders slumped. She was just sad now, guilty even to withhold this info from him. Was it the right call? She just didn't know anymore. It never sat well with Max to withhold her truth from the people she cared about. It's how things festered and boiled over. It made her feel like there was a bowling ball on her chest from the pressure of not cracking. All she ever wanted was to be honest–it was more freeing that way, but in this instance it was for the best that she waited, right? She wondered if Neil ever felt anything other than justified in withholding his own truth–did he explain it away in his head too? But they weren't the same–he was vile and she was…just trying her best.

So why don't I feel that way?

"He lied, didn't he? Neil… about not remembering… That's why you're so upset. One reason anyway." Apart from me being the other, she thought.

Billy shifted in his seat, his jaw churring as a spark of rage shined bright in his eye. He gave a single, clipped nod and his voice came out as an angry hiss, "That fucking bastard. Can't even admit to shit..."

"We can tell someone."

"No." It was sharp, curt. Final. Like last time. But she didn't let that be the end of it. This time, she challenged him.

"Why not?! There has to be someone who would care enough to help. We could tell Hopper!"

"No cops!"

Max flinched at the sudden raise in his voice. Silenced by his outburst, she wilted back into her seat and crossed her arms angrily. She couldn't understand his resistance to putting a stop to Neil's iron fist. Couldn't understand why he would just keep taking it and taking it.

Billy was almost snarling, but he took a deep breath to calm himself. Some of the anger seeped from his face. "Neil will kill us if we did. Besides, I'll be 18 soon anyway. As soon as I graduate, I'm outta this shithole."

Her heart sank at the visual of watching Billy pack his stuff into the car and drive away. She hunched her shoulders, saddened by the thought that he would probably leave without a second glance back–without a second thought toward her. "And I'll be left here alone…" Who would Neil turn his anger on then? Her mom or her? Or both? Who would protect her?

Billy thought about that, his expression changing. An expression that said he never considered it but she was right. He looked over her for any marks again, wondering if there was something he'd missed. "Did he hurt you?"

Are you hurt?

She shook her head, remembering the similar question he'd asked after the car crash. "No."

Billy's shoulders relaxed, and a subtle sigh of relief escaped his lips. From the corner of her eye, she noticed his grip on the steering wheel loosened slightly. His shoulders untensed just a bit, as if he was bracing himself for whatever she might say next.

She wasn't sure if it was appropriate to thank him. For taking a beating for her. So she opted by adding, "Thanks to you…" When he shifted uncomfortable without responding she quickly added, "You tried to warn me…about him being on edge… About him hurting me(one day)…"

For a moment, neither said a word. But then Billy took a deep breath and shrugged, "I did try, but it was like you didn't take it seriously or some shit. The man was flat-out angry and aggressive about every little thing and there you were stoking the fire.."

Max couldn't help but look down at her wrist, rubbing the small tender spot on the left side where Billy's thumb had been. She glanced up when she heard him make a small noise and realized he was looking at the spot she was rubbing.

"How's your wrist?"

She pulled her hand away. "It's fine…"

He scoffed, "Just like Neil all over again…"

Max turned, taken aback by the fall in Billy's tone. His face fell, guilt-ridden. Why?

After pondering the expression, she spoke. "Billy, your dad is always angry and aggressive…"

"You just figured that out?"

She bit her lip. "You are always angry and aggressive…"

He paused just as he was about to speak. His eyes darted, trying to process what was just said. Suddenly, her words hit him. The little lines between his brows furrowed as his face went from confusion into a hard mask of anger. "Don't," he said, that sharp, dark tone returning. "Don't do that."

"I'm just–"

"Just nothing. Stop it." His voice was calm but stern, but his lips were tight, there was that dangerous look in his eyes again.

She paused but continued. "I'm just saying maybe there's a pattern. You're screwed up because of your dad. So maybe he's screwed up because of his.?"

Billy looked aghast. "You're actually sympathizing with him? Are you saying I'm like him?"

"No, that's not what I mean. I'm saying you don't have to be like him at all. Neil's had his chance to be different but you still have time. You can break the pattern and choose to be different than the example that's being set for you."

He stared at Max until she scrambled to explain further. She thought of an example to paint the picture for him–to let him see himself how she was able to see him. Surely he had to know that his path didn't have to be the same as Neil's?

"I noticed how mean I could be to others after we met, and I tried so hard not to be like you. And one day, it hit me – I didn't have to be. I realized I didn't have to dish out the same things you gave me. It was hard, God it was hard. But I've really been trying to see a different side of you, Billy. And you know what? I think I have. This version of you, this new you… You're… actually kind of cool. Fun. I really like hanging out with you." She blushed a little, looking down and turning away, suddenly embarrassed by her candid confession.

Nothing but the hum of the car sounded.

Billy wasn't sure what to say. Not sure how to process the emotions he's feeling. They feel foreign, gross even, like sticky syrup oozing over his fingertips, leaving a sickeningly sweet residue that clung to his skin. Despite it all, that sticky warmth encapsulated him in a hug that made his chest go tight and his heart thrum in a way that tingled into his gut. He rubbed at his chest as though to soothe the feeling there but dropped it when he realized it wasn't all that bad. "You sound so sappy."

"That's it? That's all you have to say?"

"What do you want me to say? Huh? You're right. My dad screwed me up. This is just who I am now." He sounded hurt saying it but also resigned to it like it was his only truth. "Look, whatever Billy you think you're seeing is just another one of your many delusions, Max. He's not real."

"That's not true–"

"Max just…drop it ok." he seemed tired, with no energy left to argue.

Max almost felt like her mother when she couldn't win a battle. Helpless. So she just did as he asked and she dropped it, letting the silence grow between them again. He seemed to drive slower, and time passed while she let her mind wonder again. As they rode in the car, flashes from the night before resurfaced – Neil's drunken rambling and the hurtful words he'd shouted at her, referring to Billy's mother as a whore. The memories clicked into place like pieces of a long-unfinished puzzle

"You're no different, are you? Just like that no good whore of a mother."

Her breath caught in her throat and she looked over at him again, "Billy…that day after I apologized to you, why did you say Neil hasn't punched me in the face yet?"

Silence. His eyes fixed on the road, but just as suspected that grip on the wheel was back but she couldn't let it go.

"Did he hurt someone else before?"

Billy's mouth tightened, but she pressed for more.

"Was it you and…your mom–"

"Maaax…" The way he said her name was airy, like a breeze whispering in your ear–like a hiss, only his warning tone was back. Dark and dangerous, but sad. Even tired. He never took his eyes off the road, "Shut up, or I'm gonna lose it."

A chill crawled up Max's spine. Billy's eyes held a certain look, one she knew too well – the same look he'd give before an outburst, like the time he nearly ran over her friends. It sent a chill through her, a bone-deep fear that echoed Neil's quiet threats, like a lurking predator, just waiting to unleash its fury. The unsettling resemblance made her heart race, leaving her with a sense of unease she couldn't shake.

She didn't speak the rest of the way.

To be continued…