Chapter 009 Part 1:
Experiments and experiences, in more ways than one
(or the plot derails so hard from canon that I'm amazed at the train wreck that follows)
"Can you remind me why I accepted this?" Koichi asked, wincing in pain. "Wait, don't. I already know why and you would absolutely ruin the surprise for 'shit and giggles,' as you put it."
D nodded at Koichi, then looked to the other Koichi who had his hand raised.
"Yes?"
"Oh, well, I was just wondering why I accepted this? Better yet, when?" The Crawler asked in a big hoodie and elastic pants. "Because I don't remember either."
The girl considered the question, then shrugged.
"Because you got nothing better to do?" she tried, before deciding to guilt trip him. "Because you want me to succeed as a Vigilante and that involves experimenting with my Devil Fruit so I don't die out there, cold and alone because a friend didn't want to experience a little pain in exchange for my life? Oh, and you accepted just now after I said that." she added at the end.
He clearly knew he was being manipulated but he just couldn't resist that heroic spirit, which D was exploiting for her benefit. She patted him on the back for reassurance, and then his world became pain.
He wriggled on the ground as his whole body restructured itself into a different shape, muscles retreating and becoming softer, losing height and gaining curves in certain places. His hair puffed out and changed to pink, and when he opened his eyes they had turned magenta.
Pop Step looked back at her in Koichi's clothing, and said 'ow.'
"Okay, so I can change appearance but not clothing." she confirmed after looking underneath the hoodie and noting how the shirt was different from the current Koichi.
Since a Copy Human was superior to an Imitating Human, she had thought it made sense she would also be able to change other's appearances besides her own, so she tried it out and apparently it was correct. However, both still had the downside of being unable to change clothing… for now, if she had anything to say about it.
"It wasn't just a fluke the first time." She wondered out loud, before focusing on the matter at hand. "Now, how do you feel?"
Pop Step looked at her hands in wonder, before testing her limbs and patting down her body.
"PERVERT! NO SHAME!" shouted Koichi when Pop Step touched her chest, followed by a punch to the head.
"Good, good. Unlike the Clone-Clone Fruit, my Copy-Copy Fruit doesn't dispel when hit." D said while nodding to herself. "Thanks for that, Koichi."
"You're welcome?" answered Pop Step, unsure of who the girl was addressing.
"Now, let's see about turning you back."
"Oh, okay." Pop Step went back to Koichi, then after struggling a bit on the ground because of the pain he got up and glared. "Could have used a warning."
"…I literally did nothing." The girl managed to get out, staring at the original Koichi. "You just… ended the copy yourself."
"Oh… that's a thing?"
"Apparently." She shrugged. "So, like Pop Step showed, if you don't want to get replaced with a copy I can't do anything, and you can revert it at any time you want afterwards. I like the consent aspect, very safe for all involved, but I also hate that I can't simply turn all my enemies into babies. Guess no Hobby-Hobby Fruit for me."
Both Koichis wisely decided to not ask what that was, more concerned with the baby aspect.
"However, limits are there to be broken, so I want you to refuse to change and I'm going to try my hardest to transform you anyways… wait, time limit expired." she stated while looking at her borrowed wristwatch. "So, that means I can maintain the memory of something I touched to copy it for a minute as long as it isn't another Devil Fruit."
That was… not ideal, compared to the Imitating Human who could keep his copies forever in his repertoire. But still, she would tell everyone hers was better anyways.
She made hand gestures at one of the Koichis, whose flesh melted from his bones while he screamed and turned back to Pop Step. The flesh disappeared to somewhere, but D didn't question it. Easier to clean up afterwards.
"Oh," she muttered in surprise, "I wanted for you to get over here so I could touch and uncopy you, but I guess I can do it remotely. Good to know, good to know."
Pop Step proceeded to punch her in the face, probably for unexpectedly making her go through an agonizing experience. She didn't care, and that hit was in no way related to D trying to turn her into Koichi again. It worked for a second before it didn't and she was punched again.
"…So, if it's a surprise it works a little, but they can still revert back even mid sequence." she noted while bleeding from the forehead. "Anyway, Koichi, come here and think hard about what you like about being a boy and how yucky girls are."
After the punch from Pop Step, it counted as her having touched D so now she could copy people into her for another minute, no hands required.
Koichi approached her and she tried to copy him into a woman and failed. Not to be discouraged, she tried harder. When that brilliant plan didn't work, she expressed her frustration in her usual way… teasing Pop Step. She expressed a surprising amount of emotions that way.
"Come on man, don't you wanna fondle your own boobs again?" she commented, like a shady dealer offering drugs to unsuspecting kids. "I know you just did it on instinct, don't you realize how much better it must feel if you do it slowly and savor the feeling? And not just boobs, you would also have an ass to shake around. Could even go in front of a mirror and mastur-"
Suddenly, there were two flustered Pop Steps in the room and a punched D on the ground. Which wasn't quite right, because there should have been a Koichi struggling in pain next to her.
"Huh…" D said, face still on the ground. "Either that was fast, or you knocked me out for a bit and I just woke up."
"Both, actually." Informed the Pop Step without a bloody fist. "Mostly painless too."
D processed that information and tried very very hard to become a Pop Step but also not, then decided she actually wanted it and suddenly there were three Pop Steps in the room.
"Did I learn how to do instantaneous copies by accident?" Pop Step questioned herself, naked from the mass expansion tearing her clothing. "…I won't complain, that bit was painful."
She got up from the floor, which did very interesting things to bouncy parts of her anatomy that had both other Pop Steps blushing up a storm and covering their eyes. One Pop Step was cheating and peeking through them though, so the non-bloody one covered her eyes too.
"That's my body!" Pop Step complained, like a capitalistic pig.
"It's our body." another Pop Step added, like a communist comrade.
"It's everybody's bodies and no one's!" the final Pop Step shouted, like a confused moron, if the face she gave herself after that statement reflected her mind. "Okay, I could have worded it a little bit better. What I mean is that yes, we are sharing appearances, but just because someone is the original doesn't mean that we all don't deserve privacy and decency too, even if we aren't currently in our own bodies. Peeking is wrong, Pop Step, even to yourself." she chastised the one next to her.
"Yeah, tell Pop Step off, Pop Step!" the naked one agreed.
"And you-!" she glared while covering her eyes, which unmitigated it just a tad. "Put a hoodie on! If voyeurism on yourself is wrong, then exhibitionism on yourself is also wrong!"
Pop Step considered that, and promptly screamed in pain, her flesh rippling in place but remaining as the idol. Pop Step tried to help Pop Step, but Pop Step held back Pop Step and covered both Pop Steps' eyes. Eventually, the screaming Pop Step became the naked Pop Step again.
"…Well. I just discovered that you can't copy into another copy, if me not being Koichi right now shows." the nude idol said. "Also, ow."
"Can't you go back already?!" one of the Pop Steps shouted, and she wasn't sure who was who anymore because now both had blood in their hands. "Wait… you were trying to transform into a naked Koichi?!" Great, no 'me' at the end, which meant either that was the real Pop Step or Koichi was having a dissociative episode… so, not great, actually.
"A minute… uh, Pop Step who was previously Koichi I guess, can you try to use your power?"
The same Pop Step that referred to Koichi in third person nodded, which filled D with dread, before turning to the Pop Step besides her.
"Actually, that is a good question. Do you have Leap now, Koichi?"
Koichi-Pop moved around without using her feet in a clear display of Slide and Glide. Then she hopped in place instead of Leaping in place.
"Eh, no." s-he said, a little disappointed.
"Well, that's curious." She touched the actual Pop Step and tried copying her Devil Fruit. "Huh, I did copy Leap" D said and started Leaping in place.
"TURN BACK OR COVER YOURSELF!" Pop Step ordered.
"But I'm doing science…!" D whined, before grabbing a hoodie to cover her shame at the threat of a shaking bloody fist. "Ok, fine, there. Koichi-Step, you can look now."
Koichi-Step did, then Pop-D flashed him her goods.
A now kid D wearing an oversized hoodie laid on the ground, her blonde hair marred with blood. Overhead, a pink demon who was not Doflamingo stood, barely restraining itself from dragging her into hell through extreme violence. Besides it, a Pop Step pulled at her collar and looked down.
"Uh, you do have a mole there. I wasn't sure I saw right."
A now man Koichi joined D on the ground, covered from head to toe in blood, his limited edition hoodie ripped to shreds while the demon seethed in rage. D, seeing a chance for further experiments despite the looming danger, touched some of his blood and tried to copy his appearance and the Repel-Repel Fruit, only for even more pain to assault her. So, no copying at all if she's already copying a Devil Fruit, good to know. She dropped Leap and tried again, but she got nothing, so no carrying vials of blood of people to copy their abilities too.
The little girl then realized what just happened and looked to the asexual moron next to her and complained.
"You get an eyeful… and your only thought… is that there's a small… miniscule black point… above the important bits…" she looked up at the demon. "I give up… he has no sex drive… wait… yeah… " D said while releasing the biggest sighs she ever did. "Forgot gays existed for a second… Should have checked… earlier…"
The demon became a floored Pop Step as she realized that, yeah, checking Koichi was interested in women was a pretty important part in her plan of dating him. She looked at the man in question and he explained.
"Yoguhrefegtam." he explained explanatively. "Ilbiobawierk."
…He was pretty beat up, and possibly had a concussion in retrospect, D mused.
After a break to use the med kit and having a needle pass through parts that didn't need a needle in the first place, D and Koichi were back to a somewhat healthy state.
"You're fifteen." he explained again, coherently this time. "It would be weird."
D was conflicted. On the one hand, she was impressed with Koichi's self-control, literally having no sex drive for a well-developed minor simply because she was a minor despite seeing her naked. She wasn't sure how he achieved it, and she wondered if he could unconsciously detect the age of someone without previously knowing to determine if he should be aroused or not. Slightly illegal experiments to run at a later date aside, on the other hand…
"YOU'RE FIFTEEN?!" she shouted at Pop Step, gawking at the teenager who wears that idol costume and shakes bouncy parts around during her performances. "YOU WERE MAKING ME HELP YOU DATE AN ADULT?!" she realized, afraid of the moral and legal repercussions of her decisions up until this point. "I DID AND SAID ALL THAT TO A MINOR?!"
D did not begin to hyperventilate, because that would mean that she only did so now, and hadn't been doing it since the beginning. Oh god, was she a pedophile? She was mentally seventeen when she arrived, but her eighteen birthday had already passed if she counted the days right, so she did all those teases to a minor while she was an adult! She didn't know, she thought she was older because of her attitude and costume! Wait! Was Pop Step a pedophile?! She was a four-year-old in body and she did end up with Pop Step's face in her crotch! And she blushed and things when she teased her! WAIT! HAD SHE BEEN FLIRTING WITH POP STEP WITHOUT REALIZING IT?! DID KOICHI HAD AN ACTUAL REASON TO BELIEVE SHE WAS PROPOSITIONING TO HER THE OTHER DAY?! WERE THEY BOTH PEDOPHILES FOR DOING SO?!
"I'm going to go to jail…" she murmured to herself while crying, lost in her own world. "And I won't escape because I deserve to be there…"
Pop Step lifted her borrowed hoodie and showed off the seifuku shirt she was wearing underneath, the skirt having been replaced with elastic yoga pants so the mass increase when she transformed didn't rip it.
"Why did you think I was wearing this uniform?" she asked, genuinely curious. "It's literally my school uniform, of course I'm a student and a minor."
"I don't know how schools work heeeeere… they are weiiiird…" she managed between sobs. "I thought you were oldeeeeer… or had a schoolgirl kiiiiink…"
If Pop Step did not hit her because of that last comment, then that meant she was baffled at her answer for some reason. She looked up and cleaned the tears away and saw her expression, which did manage to get a chuckle out of her before she was depressed again.
"…Did you even go to school?"
"Of course… In Argentina, where I'm from." she explained with dry eyes. "My school didn't have a uniform, so I thought you were a stuck up sort and had uniforms for universities and stuff."
"…You do speak Japanese well, for a foreign." she managed, still perplexed.
"I'm speaking English though?" the Argentinian from the country whose main language was Spanish said. "And so are you?"
"…"
"…"
"…Let's just… move on…"
"Yeah… you are aware I won't help you until three years pass, right?"
"Come ooon!" Pop Step whined, "You are the sole reason why I'm doing it now in the first place!"
"Sorry, but I support D, for once." Koichi added his two cents, though the last two words were unnecessary and rude in her opinion. "A minor and an adult… Even after you turn eighteen, if the age gap is too great I would still tell you to not pursue it."
Pop Step eyed her with unhidden loathing, which was met with a stupid stare as D was still processing the real age of the teenager while the man watched the byplay.
"…Though…" Koichi began, and D just knew he was about to be the moronest moron again. "Since that option is no longer possible… maybe you could reconsider D's confession?"
If you had slapped Pop Step across the face, she would have been less affronted than how she was feeling right now. She switched her view between the biological four-year-old kid and the man who just told her she should date the youngest minor in the room by eleven years of difference.
"She's seventeen after all, so it works out!" the oblivious man continued with a smile.
"Actually, I think I turned eighteen already." D gave as an excuse to escape this madness. "So I can't. End of the story."
"Well, there are laws about two minors dating and one turning into an adult..." he began, only for a disgusted Pop Step to interrupt him.
"SHE'S A FOUR-YEAR-OLD! I DON'T CARE HOW MANY YEARS SHE HAS INSIDE HER HEAD, SHE STILL HAS A LITTLE GIRL'S BODY!"
"Well, sorry for being this way." D said, not actually sorry and quite miffed about the reminder. "But if we actually dated, I could simply copy a certain man's body for sex, or even your own body-and why am I helping Koichi in this scenario?" she asked herself, scared of her own uncontrolled genius and confrontational nature.
Pop Step stared at her, and both of them were afraid of how a brief flash of interest crossed the idol's features at 'copying a certain man for sex'. No, bad Pop Step, BAD! They were supposed to deny his stupid idea together, not succumb to it! She wasn't a lesbian! That exhibitionist at the police station did not give her a bisexual crisis!
(Somewhere, Midnight sighed and uttered 'young love' wistfully.)
D was about to open her mouth to shout out something without thinking, before realizing this whole situation happened because she was being a hot-headed dumbass. So she ignored the stammering of Pop Step, the expectant yet hopeful look of Koichi, and asked herself what she wanted her relationship with Pop Step to be like.
Girlfriends? Definitely not. While she had the correct hair color, if she ever got herself a girlfriend it would be someone like Perona, because she liked the idea of a servant that teased their mistress until she blushed. She could also totally rock a maid outfit. She would like to dress up her girlfriend in frilly clothing and use her as a living doll, something that someone like Perona would accept as pampering and love. Also, it would be hilarious to follow orders to the letter but in spectacularly wrong ways. But above all, she wanted a proud person who would butt heads with her and fight all the time, both struggling to get the pants in the relationship because it would otherwise be boring.
So yeah, Pop Step wasn't really that. Despite a mean streak, she was really shy most of the time when not in her persona. She was sure the teenager would bite a finger off if she tried to dress her up in something she didn't like. But most importantly, while they fought, Pop Step… felt more like a friend, a younger sibling that she could tease about her romantic life and annoy her to no end. She didn't tease back, or start a fight on her own.
Also, her relationship with Koichi was too cute to break, even if it would take three years to blossom.
So… what did D want with Pop Step, her Nakama? After thinking long and hard about it, she finally understood the answer.
D chuckled to herself as she sat on her knees. How could she forget the most important thing in this whole wide world? As important as dreams and imagination, or perhaps even more. A bond greater than lovers or family, one that could never be truly broken if forged correctly. One that pushed the future Pirate King to declare war against the entire world, just to save a single person.
In the back of her mind, D wondered why she never realized she wanted to have that bond with Pop Step, only for her to easily reach the conclusion.
Pop Step was her Nakama.
It was as simple as that. She called her a Nakama, but she didn't realize what she truly meant, simply thinking of it as friends for life. She threw around words she never understood, repeating them without meaning. But now… Now she got it.
To be a Nakama meant so much more, to be friends for life was just the tip of the iceberg. You would die for a Nakama; you would push them to achieve their dreams. And while D called Pop Step a Nakama without thinking, she still stood by her words. She wanted her relationship with her to be Nakamas, because it was stronger than anything else and D truly believed that Pop Step deserved such a person in her life.
…In fact, she wasn't just fine with remaining Nakamas. She was greedy, and she wanted more. So, despite being unsure of what she would do afterwards, she still said the words. The words that changed the world countless times before her birth, and would continue to rock the world after she passed on. The words that every pirate heard or said a variation of, from the lowly scoundrels without a bounty to even the Pirate King himself.
"Pop Step!" she shouted, gathering their attention.
D took a deep breath, knowing that she wouldn't be denied but still nervous of rejection. So she closed her eyes and screamed at the top of her lungs, putting all her heart into her statement, letting Pop Step know just how true it was.
"I want you to join my Pirate Crew!"
She had said it. And now that she said it, the floodgates were open and her mouth continued to speak.
"My dream was to simply be happy and free, but that has changed!" she explained, reaching a new revelation she felt stupid for not seeing before. "Now my dream includes my Crew achieving theirs too! So tell me, what's your dream?! Whatever you say, I will help you make it come true with all my might!"
Pop Step froze, briefly looking at Koichi before looking down at her hands. Despite how out of the blue her shouting was without her internal monologue, Pop Step still adapted to the new atmosphere and took her seriously. She closed and opened her hands while a war of doubt fought across her face. She ever so slowly brought her fingers to her neck and caressed it, her gaze filled with determination faltering at the unexpected skin contact.
"I… my dream…" Still she hesitated, despite knowing the words she wanted to say. "What I want…"
D was genuinely curious to know what she dreamt. While she obviously wanted to be with Koichi, was that her dream, what she truly wanted with all her heart?
"My dream is actually quite silly!" she told Pop Step to ease her worries, understanding she wasn't ready to share yet. "I want to get all the powers to live a free and happy life! It's quite selfish and kind of impossible, but it is what I dream of and I'm proud of it! You could dream of flying, of going to the moon or even of becoming a princess and I would help you anyways, because you would be part of my crew and we don't make fun of anyone's dreams in my crew!"
Pop Step was trying to speak, but words failed to come out of her mouth, so D continued.
"I want you to be the Musician of my crew! You would be great at it, I just know it! I don't care whatever doubts are in your mind right now, I know you're the best choice! The most famous singer could arrive right now and tell me they want your position and I would refuse them, that's how much I believe in you!"
D remembered their previous conversation and just knew the words she needed to hear.
"You don't have to be the best!" she told her, "I don't want you to be the best! I want you to be you! That's who I want my Musician to be, and no matter what you say you will always be my perfect choice!"
Finally running out of steam, D fell into silence as she waited for Pop Step's answer.
…Yet the wait stretched as Pop Step fidgeted and refused to look at D, not answering her question. D did not bow, did not beg despite how much she wanted to do it if it would get Pop Step to accept, because she would accept out of pity. She wanted her to be part of her crew because that was what she desired, not out of pressure and insistence.
…So she patiently sat on her knees, giving her time to think.
Eventually, in a small voice full of doubt and hope, Pop Step answered.
"What do you mean with pirate crew?" she asked, wanting to accept after her speech but being unsure of what she would be accepting.
D looked up and grinned at her.
"I want you to be part of my family and beyond, silly!" she told the idol who still didn't get it. "I want for us to be happy and work to achieve our dreams together!"
The young woman was suddenly blushing and refusing to look at her but D knew the answer, even if she hadn't said it yet. Then, in her smallest voice possible she began making observations.
"You said the most important thing in a relationship was the other making sure they were their happiest and you have tried to help me in your own way… When the indecision was filling my mind, you tried to hook me up because you saw how terrible it made me feel… When I was too busy thinking about the future, you grabbed my face and made me smile, reminding me that I matter first and foremost... When I was indecisive you… bet that, to lit a fire in me so I wouldn't hesitate any longer… When I asked for an impossible favor and gave you something you didn't even want in exchange you just did it, no, you went above and beyond, and I'm still not sure how you managed it… And when Koichi thought you were confessing to me… you just poured your heart out, and while there was acting involved, it still felt genuine."
Slowly, her blush receded and her voice became more confident as she spoke. However, her hopeful tone suddenly gained a sharp edge as she frowned and glared at D.
"D… You are annoying." Pop Step said out of nowhere, and D just had to say that it was quite rude, but the woman continued before she could complain. "You are a menace, both to yourself and others, the first time we met you literally shot me."
She would take it as a compliment.
"You can't take no for an answer and always have to have the last word."
It was part of her pirate charm.
"You are deeply in denial about how the world works, yet somehow the world bends itself backwards to make you right."
Well, it was more like people didn't understand her logic, which was the factually correct one.
"You are a trouble magnet who, just by proximity alone, set a house, myself and two others on fire."
In her personal opinion, Koichi was the trouble magnet and she was quite traumatized by that particular ordeal, thank you very much.
"You are paradoxically both a hero and the farthest thing one could be from a hero."
Yeah, she was a pirate, she could be whatever she wanted whenever.
"You are somehow both four and seventeen or eighteen years old."
And zero too.
"In short, you are an incredibly strange, stubborn and concerning little menace with a perverted streak a mile wide." Pop Step finished.
…Nah, she couldn't see it, totally not her at all.
"…Yet, somehow, despite all that…" She fixed her hair, now refusing to look at her as her shyness came back. "Despite all the bad, and maybe a little because of it… I like you. You are a good person deep down, who cares for me like nobody outside my family ever did. So…"
"So…?" D asked.
"So… I don't know." Pop Step finished lamely yet honestly, "I never thought about having a… a sister, and I'm not sure… if you can just adopt people like that or… god, this is so weird… what does it even mean…?"
D tried to call Pop Step by her name to reassure her it was fine, only to suddenly be conscious of how she didn't even know her real name yet she was asking her to join her pirate crew. She would say it was weird, but then again, this whole situation was weird all around, so D just laughed.
"Hididi… HididididiDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDI!"
She laughed at the absurdity of it all, she laughed at her flimsy reasoning to ask Pop Step to join her crew yet still going by what her gut told her, she laughed at her initial desire find a swordsman to follow the original pattern only to be swept off her feet by this girl, she laughed at how Pop Step dressed as a devil because it reminded her of Devil Fruits while she didn't even call them that, she laughed at Koichi on principle, and she even laughed at the dumb faces they were making at her deranged and unprompted laughter.
Eventually, she managed to breathe again. So she stood in front of Pop Step and began again, no seriousness in sight and no ceremony for what was supposed to be a momentous occasion. She just channeled her inner Joy Boy and let herself loose.
"Let's try that again! Hi! I'm D, no last or first name yet, so any recommendations are appreciated unless I don't like them, in which case I will punch yah or cry uncontrollably! I think you're pretty cool, I like your outfit and makeup and personality so you should join my crew as a musician, no singing or music required! What is your dream? I think mine could be to become Pirate King but I have no idea what it actually means, I just think it sounds cool! By the way, what is your name? Not that it matters, just curious! We can totally be sisters without knowing each other's' names, It's more fun that way! What do you think Pinky?"
D just smiled freely, looking up to Pop Step and waiting for an answer. And in the end, she got more than she could ever ask.
"Ka… Ha…" Pop Step tried to say, yet her lips trembled as she shivered in place. She opened and closed her mouth to no avail, being too shocked to even mutter a sound. She hugged her torso and curled into herself, not daring to look up as her face went red with a grimace of effort. Tears started to form in her eyes and Koichi grabbed her shoulder to ask her if she was alright… Only for Pop Step to stop holding it in any longer as she threw her head back and let it all out.
"HAKAHAKAHAKAHAKAHAKAHAKAHAKAHAKAHAKA!"
Koichi was frozen in place, unsure of what that sound even was, but someone else understood.
"HIDIDIDIDIDIDI!" D answered in kind, laughter for laughter. "What a good laugh Pop Step, hididi! Right from the belly, loud and free! I like it, why don't you laugh more often?!"
"You-hakahakahaka! You don't even… HAKAHAKAHAKAhakahakah… Ah… care…" She stopped for a breath before trying to continue, tears flowing freely from her eyes as she just couldn't hold it back anymore, yet she did not care, it was all so silly! "You don't know my name and you're asking to be family, it's just so… stupid! Hakahakahaka! And that dream-no, that introduction! And your reasoning, it's all-hakahakahakahaka! If I'm Pinky are you Blondie, you Pipsqueak?! HAKAHAKAHAKAHAKAHAKAHAKA!"
"Hididi! Who are you calling Pipsqueak, Popsqueak?! And who are you to baptize me with a new name, the Pope?! I gotta get my popgun and pop you some holes for that! And look at your face, it's as red as a Poppy!"
"HAKAHAKAHAKAHAKA!" Pop Step continued howling, no longer being able to stop.
"Laughing at bad puns, I thought you were a popsy lady but are you perhaps a poppa papa?! What a show, I need a popper for my popcorn, or maybe a popsicle! You would get real popular if I filmed this, you're so popeyed they are basically out of their sockets!"
"What is even happening…" Koichi said in the background, which only fueled them even more.
"I'm popularizing puns among the populace, duh! Pop a pill and chill, or pop a gut and laugh!"
"HAKAHAKAhakahaka… haka…ha…" Pop eventually managed to stop, though the odd giggle still escaped her lips. "This is so dumb." She said while smiling from ear to ear.
"As long as you're happy, it's never dumb!" D fired back while looking from the corners of her eyes how Koichi was happy for them, even if he didn't find it funny. "So! …Your answer?"
Pop Step cleared her throat and straightened her back, before doing a dramatic bow while looking directly at her face.
"Well, hello to you too! I am the great performer and idol Pop Step, though some people may know me as Haneyama Kazuho, haka! I think I'm quite cool, and I have even been called a popsy lady… it sounded quite good, even if I have no idea what it means! Hakahakahaka!"
Well, she couldn't just brush off such a compliment!
"Why, whichever person described you as such was obviously a great observer and perhaps quite beautiful and amazing too! For you see, to call you either an attractive young woman or a popsy is all the same! Quite a fitting moniker, wouldn't you agree?"
"Of course, of course." Kazuho said, the barest shade of pink adorning her cheeks. "Continuing my speech, I believe that my childhood dream was to become a singer to spread happiness through music, as my lovely mother once advised! But now that I am saying it out loud, why I feel it lacking, not grandiose enough I say! So why not become the best musician in the whole wide world?!"
"Why not indeed!"
"I may lack talent and skill, I may never be famous or rich, I may even fade into obscurity with no one ever listening to a song I sing, yet I will still be the best musician!" Pop Step reaffirmed, somehow doubting her worth yet not caring about it. "Why, because to be the best musician you have to make the best music for yourself and spread that happiness!"
D nodded along, accepting and supporting the dream she was being told. There was a sudden glint in Kazuho's eyes as she dropped the eccentric act and spoke from the heart in kind, just like D had done for her.
"Others may not like it but as long as you're happy alongside others it will be fine, because your own happiness matters most, does it not?" she questioned D, as if daring her to take back her own words. When she didn't deny it, Pop Step brought back her persona. "SO! You ask me to join your pirate crew, to become your family and to begin working together towards our dreams! My answer is NAY, for you see…"
She put her hand besides her mouth and looked around, before saying in a stage whisper…
"…How can I join, when I'm already a crewmember?"
D couldn't hold it in anymore, she hugged the stuffing out of her Nakama's legs, then she copied her appearance to be taller and hugged the stuffing out of her entire person.
"You're so much better than an immortal skeletal violinist swordsman with an afro and a whale friend." She said in sacrilege, uncaring of how people would burn her at a stake for daring to say such a thing.
"…Why yes, I am better than that." Pop answered, taking the compliment at face value.
D looked up at Kazuho, her first crewmember, and asked the only question that remained in her mind.
"So…" she began while looking at Koichi, which caused a chill to go up the other girl's spine. "…your dream isn't to get your boytoy?"
All the confidence and grandstanding immediately left Pop Step's body as she turned into a mess of stammering and denials.
Good. D was worried that Pop Step would stop being Pop Step with all this new confidence, so it was nice to know she could still tease her.
Chapter 009 Part 2:
What makes a good laugh?
(and what makes a great laugh?)
The first time Haneyama Kazuho laughed, it was in a hospital as a baby.
"Haka! Hakahaka!" she muttered while trying to reach the pretty lights with a smile, which gave her parents the idea of naming her Kazuho, in reference to her laugh.
The second time Haneyama Kazuho laughed, it was in kindergarten as a toddler.
"Hakahakahakaha… ka…?" she snickered after hearing a joke from a new friend, only for them to look weirdly at her, not really understanding what she was doing. They said her laugh was weird, she was totally faking it and if it wasn't funny she should have just said so, before going away.
The third time Haneyama Kazuho laughed, it was in elementary school as a kid.
"Hakahakahakahaka! Hakahakahaka!" she howled after finding something funny despite how she had stopped laughing in public after some bad experiences. Most kids called her weird after that, though some friends she made awkwardly pretended it never happened as long as she didn't embarrass them again.
The fourth time Haneyama Kazuho laughed, it was in middle school as a girl.
"H-h-hakk-hk-HAKAHAKAHAKA!" she cackled, unable to contain herself in the middle of the classroom despite her best attempts. The boys thought she was crazy and the girls whispered behind her back. Some still interacted with her, but they were judged for talking with the weird kid.
The fifth time Haneyama Kazuho laughed, it was alongside a friend named D as a young, popsy woman.
"HAKAHAKAHAKAHAKAHAKAHAKAHAKAHAKAHAKA!" she roared and cried, afraid of what her reaction would be but not being able to stop herself. She had always seen her laugh as another defect on her person, another reason to doubt her worth and something to never reveal unless she wanted to be alienated by others. It was the first thing that made her the person she was today; unsure of how to express herself, quick to anger, yet still happy, if never laughing out loud.
The first time that Haneyama Kazuho heard D's laughter, well, she was quite literally shot with air bullets.
"Hidididididi!" she laughed that way, somehow. Kazuho barely had a chance to process it before she had to dodge and then a whole mess happened afterwards that doesn't really matter right now.
Now, the second time that Haneyama Kazuho heard D's laughter was when, according to D, she realized she didn't actually know Kazuho's name.
"Hididi… HididididiDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDI!" she laughed, and laughed some more, and laughed even further beyond until she could barely breath. Kazuho was stunned at someone having a laugh so different, just like hers. But before she could question it, D did the silliest introduction she had ever heard and she laughed for the fifth time.
The third time that Haneyama Kazuho heard D's laughter was in answer to her own laughter.
"HIDIDIDIDIDIDI!" she answered in kind, not laughing in hypocrisy at Kazuho's weird noises, but laughing alongside her. D was happy for her, and didn't care for how she expressed her joy.
Haneyama Kazuho, for the first time since her earliest memory, laughed more than once in a single day. There wasn't any bitterness or broken friendships afterwards, but a new bond stronger than anything she ever had.
So, while Pop Step had a million reasons to both accept and deny D's request, what mattered in the end was the million and one; to be accepted, imperfections and all. And if D found out that after hammering into her head how she was fine as who she was for days on end, only for the little detail to finally sunk in at that specific moment of laughter…
Well, as long as D never found out, she couldn't make fun of this popsy lady for taking so long to figure it out.
"HAKAHAKAHAKAHAKAHAKAHA!" she shouted into the night, finally free to laugh as she pleased.
To answer the posed question, what makes a good laugh isn't how funny or weird it sounds. A good laugh is a happy laugh, as simple as that. And a great laugh is a happy laugh shared with friends, who also happily laugh alongside you.
Pop Step, for the first time in her life outside of her family, had a great laugh.
It felt good.
(So… D just turned Pop Step to the One Piece side.
Did you know that Pop Step never laughs? She smiles, she seems amused, but she never truly laughs. I thought about it and searched the entire manga when I realized it, but the only two laughs she does are in Chapter 73 and 78 as Bee Pop. Like, in Chapter 70 and 95 she opens her mouth in big smiles after finding something funny, but she didn't actually laugh. She also expresses pure joy in Chapter 8 with the pudding and in other scenes where she enjoys music, but still, she never laughs.
Thus, my fanon explanation is that she's ashamed of her laugh. Since she already has a low self-esteem and doesn't see her own good qualities, I thought that it makes sense for her to not like other aspects of herself, like her laughter, so she pushes them down. (Watch as all of you scour with a fine comb the entirety of Vigilantes to confirm it only for you to find the single laugh I overlooked, entirely debunking this whole chapter. It would be funny, but I would absolutely keep it like this)
Is this OOC and kinda AUish? Oh, absolutely, even with my fanon explanation she would still laugh like a normal person because she did so as Bee Pop, she would simply be self-conscious about it, not have her own name after her laughter as a baby (and it's extremely lucky that her surname matched it, because otherwise her parents wouldn't have been able to do their little sneaky sneak). But this is a MHA X One Piece fic, and well, imagination runs rampant while impossibility and unlikely aren't words in the dictionary. Laughter is best when shared among friends, after all.
Also, if it wasn't clear with the last line of part 1, don't worry about Pop Step suddenly grandstanding and transforming into a completely different character. She just expressed her years old repressed joy in a single moment. She will laugh more often, but she won't change unless to play up a persona.
So… with that off of my chest, have a short omake free of charge)
Chapter 009 Omake:
Where is the Knuckle-Knuckle User?
(or we need a board to make a diagram of whatever is happening anymore)
Oguro Iwao, better known as Knuckleduster now, but previously going by O'Clock or Hyper Quadfist depending on where he operated, was conflicted.
D inserting herself on their lives had been… a difficult change to adapt. Every time she was around chaos ensued, and she was spending more and more time with them. He often watched them from the shadows while hunting Trigger junkies, and intervened when he saw an acceptable reason to knock out the little girl. He then spent time with the other two until she slowly stirred awake, at which point he said his goodbyes and continued to stalk them to make sure they were okay.
It was inefficient, if they worked as a unit they could get so many more clues and follow their trails. But D… she was a mystery he didn't like. No documents, no registry of her existence, nothing. She just appeared one day, made a mess out of a police station and got a handler before being released into the wild again, getting stuck with them.
He understood keeping secrets, he himself was doing so. But the worst part was that… she wasn't. If he asked, right in this very moment, where she came from, she would probably answer honestly. But the girl was clinically insane, her mind working differently from the rest of the world, and the worst part was her making sense sometimes. Every word was nonsense, but if you tried to look at it from her perspective, you started to understand and he was afraid of ending up like her as a result.
So, he observed them from a distance. If The Crawler could become a decent Vigilante on his own, and his explosive growth thanks to unconventional methods indicated it was inevitable, he could operate separate from them as two individual cells of the same unit, no meeting and living with D required.
The bug he planted on the base let him know… whatever happened just now. So, apparently there was a love triangle that just resolved itself through lateral adoption, which…
Iwao sighed. It had been less than two weeks, how did D form such a deep relationship with Pop Step in such a short time? Over her obvious crush and adoration of Koichi even? And despite D calling Koichi 'Pop Step's boytoy' to his face, he still hadn't realized what was happening? Was he even aware he had been part of the love triangle he invented from misunderstandings? And did D imply she could copy his appearance and have sex with Pop Step while doing so, or even Pop Step into Koichi and D into Pop Step?
He rubbed his temples and decided to stop thinking about it. He just accepted the mess as behind him and moved on, whatever happened, happened. He didn't need the details from the depraved mind that was D, or if any of those acts would actually happen in the future… But if D did Pop Step as Koichi, could she get pregnant? And would the DNA of the child be of D or Koichi? And what about Pop Step doing D as Koichi while D was Pop Step? Could D get pregnant, and how would that interact with her being transformed? Would the pregnancy transfer to her original state, despite being a prepubescent girl? And if it did, what would happen if she copied Koichi again, who has no uterus to contain a baby?
In the end, Knuckleduster spent the rest of the night making diagrams and calculations of D's theoretical love life. Meanwhile, Pop Step and D fought over a pudding, one pulling rank as captain while the other claimed she needed it for lyrical inspiration. Koichi tried to intervene, but Pop hit him on the head and D kicked him in the crotch.
It would be safe to say that his work wouldn't see the light of day for a long time, if at all.